Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Winners & Watchdogs
By Jacob Clifton | Season 1 | Episode 11 | Aired on 10.12.2010
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.Wow, that was awesome. Maybe I like this show in inverse relation to internet katana shenanigans. Or maybe in direct relation to amount of Amanda Graystone. Either way, a killa thrilla was this: Lacy fucks things up real good on a Barnabus mission, which causes James Marsters to act better than he's done since the post-Initiative years.
Remember how Keon was always talking about Pan and Hippolyta? Well, they're dead now. Clarice murdered them in totally sick ways because of their disloyalty to her kooky terrorism. And then Keon turns around and gets his head blown clear off by Barnabus for rudely pointing out how crazy nuts all of the grownups on this show clearly are.
So: If you're keeping score, that was all the cute boys left on Caprica. And that was all their brains everywhere.
Who's left? Lacy, who gets kidnapped by Clarice with full bag-over-head action. And that's it, we now have full STO control thanks to Clarice going all nun-with-a-gun Judge Dredd up in everybody's face... Unless I guess Barney managed a last-minute cheat out of the bomb Clarice shoved up his fundamentalism.
During the same exact 24 rainy hours, Amanda was taking meetings, and showers, and jaunts down memory lane about her suicide attempt and how Clarice went all Terms Of Endearment in the hospital and how she told Daniel to go be somebody else's creepy husband. Then she met with GDD Agent Jordan Duram, who connected the dots for her once again about how Clarice is clearly a terrorist and that she should grab a gun from home and take it to the cabin for to shoot her... Or flip, and work both sides as a CI until she can find out for sure. Guess which one allows her to hang out in the terror cabin with her best bud-slash-makeout partner, and continue to drink the planet's supply of wine.
All of this, of course, presented in Amanda's glorious patented Fragment-O-Vision, where the camera shakes around a whole lot to simulate what it's like to be that crazy and meanwhile flashbacking to shit that happened literally at the beginning of this sentence, so that you know empirically what it's like.
What's going on with Zoë and the other Deadwalker? Who cares/Not me. So who's left? Ah, the Dads. Who, along with Sammy, are blackmailing and beating up all the different boardmembers of Graystone Ind. so that they will be Daniel's friend again. Mob tactics. None of the victims are all that interesting except one scary-face lady, and this one guy who is addicted not only to beating up hookers but also smoking something that looks like fudge, or one of those 25-cent brownies from a gas station. Instead of smoking all of the drugs to kill himself like a true OG, Superfudge just leaves a stupid note for his wife and shoots himself in the head. Weeeeeak.
All in all a pretty good bodycount, but only a couple people that really mattered. Daniel and Joe being wiseguys will never be not funny. Amanda, conflicted is what she does so it's nice to watch her acting, but I think first prize this week goes to watching Clarice turn into fucking Omar over 24 hours. After that, apotheosis really is the only option.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!11:30 PM: The last interplanetary flights of the night are taking off from Caprica City Trojan Interplanetary Spaceport when Lacy gets there with her friends and some bombs. The one that it seemed like Barnabus was molesting, that's oft-mentioned Hippolyta, and the one that looks like Pan -- sort of a lower-quote Eric Balfour -- is the one they call Pan. How long does it take Lacy to fuck this terrorist op beyond all recognition? Hold your breath.
So Lacy's stressing because there are still cleaning people there, security guards and stuff, and she doesn't want to blow them up. She is the worst terrorist of all time. Blowing up people is like your entire job, little girl! Pan and Hippolyta run off to set their bombs up in places, but Lacy sort of just loiters around and sits in the middle of the place where anybody could see and starts playing with her bomb. Of course, a guard immediately comes up and is like, "Could you act all twitchy and tell me a poorly rehearsed lie about your Temple group flying to Picon?" Lacy obliges.
Lace tries to run away when the cop asks to see her backpack, which is obviously carrying a bomb just based on her googly-eyes, but then suddenly the guard is very, very dead due to Pan shooting him in the entirety with a gun. They grab her lame ass and run out to the car, where Keon is looking stressed and confused. Shortly after, they explain to him about Lacy's ongoing suckiness and how bad that terrorist operation just went, and then to hide the evidence they think about detonating the bombs anyway.
Of course, Lacy takes her sweet time mentioning that bomb number three is still in her backpack, which is in her lap, which is in the car with them. When she does, they get sort of antsy. Pan, icking, screams at her about how stupid she is, at length, while Hippolyta just tosses the backpack out the window at random and says, for some reason, "I'm not going to jail for you people." I'm not sure about the sentiment, or the reason she is expressing it at this time or in this particular terrorist arm of a dangerous cult, but there you go. I don't like the look of her, never did. She reminds me of that weird goth girl that was involved in Tamara's whole thing with the Bloody Mama casino owner in Imaginaryland.
12:02 AM: Having had enough of Pan's ongoing freakout and meanness -- which, to be fair, he's amped on terrorism and then also the adrenaline of almost getting blown up -- Lacy finally tells Keon to pull the car over so she can be sullen in the rain and they can go frak themselves. At this point, none of them shoot her, even though obviously that's what they should do. This terrorist apocalypse is so doomed! What they need is some well-adjusted, good-under-pressure, child soldiers from good homes in this cult.