By Omar G
We cut right from Carr's punched face to the lame film-school-reject opening titles. I'd rather see my boy get punched in the dick again. Let's move on.
Police station. Or rather, outside the police station. Hank lights up a cigarette. Bill The Putz is there to meet him. He's wearing a beige sweater to accentuate his innate putzishness. Hank asks about Exy, but she's home with Becca. Hank says that Exy really knows how to push his buttons. Bill says she's not trying to do that. Hank dismisses whatever Bill might be thinking. Bill says he came because he wanted to. Shouldn't Hank's agent, Charlie, be the one meeting him outside the jail? Bill says he's not the bad guy. "Life is complicated, man," he tells Hank. Also, life comes at you fast. I find purchasing insurance helps. Hank says, "Way to dip into the platitudes." Hank would have said, "Life comes at you like a giant cock about to squirt you in the eye. You should dodge." Hank spews several "fuck"s at Bill as he says he didn't ask to be bailed out of jail or for a job. Bill says he's not thrilled about being in business with Hank. Hank asks if Bill wants a punch in the dick. Bill asks if Hank wants to punch him in the dick. Hank talks himself out of the idea by saying it's starting to sound a little gay. Gay people punch each other in the dick? On purpose? Bill asks if Hank would want Becca to see this. Hank says he'll settle for a titty twister. He grabs Bill's nipples and turns them. Before a full-on twisting can be had, Bill punches Hank hard in the gut. ["Omar, are you making this show up? You are, aren't you?" -- Miss Alli] Hank manages to keep the cigarette in his mouth even as he lies on the ground. Bill advises Hank to take the job and get back on his feet. Bill also tells him to forget about Exy, the woman he didn't want to marry in the first place. As Bill walks off, Hank threatens to kick his ass again.
Hank goes to a bar. He sulks. Nearby, he sees red-headed Meredith, the woman he badmouthed in the pilot. She's having drinks at a table with some dude and seems very happy. Hank to the rescue! Her companion goes to the bathroom. Hank goes to her table. He asks if she remembers him. "Best blind date of my life. Asshole," she says. Hank offers her an apology. He calls himself some bad adjectives and says he was a mess. "I have no words," he says. She begs to differ. That was pretty wordy. Hank offers to make it up to her. He wants to take her out. She says she's already out with a non-asshole. Hank asks if she's going to marry him. Hank says women know in seconds if they want to fuck, marry or kill a guy (time to an F-Marry-Kill reference on this show: three episodes). Hank asks how he's doing. Meredith tells him to get lost. Her companion has returned. Hank shakes the guy's hand and says, in a French accent, "I had my shot with her, but I blew it. Walk out with your cock out. But remember, no gloving, no loving." All right, that was pretty good. I actually cracked a smile for a first time. Meredith seems amused, too.
- 1
- 2
- 3
- 4
- 5
- 6