By M. Giant
Remember how Michael stole an intelligence file from a spy who immediately got burned for it? Well, it turns out the file itself isn't much use without the spy. Unfortunately, Jesse Porter is laying low. Michael thinks it's going to be a challenge to find Jesse, but he forgot one thing: Jesse has a problem, which means Jesse finds Michael.
But not about the burning, because Jesse doesn't know Michael was even behind that. Jesse's more immediate problem is that a Chinese gun dealer named Khan blames Jesse for some old misappropriated funds, and won't rest until he has either them or Jesse's head, and preferably both. Michael and the team come up with a plan to get Khan busted with a shitload of illegal weapons. That works well enough, but Khan not only pulls some strings and gets himself sprung from the clink, he also nabs Jesse. Michael enacts a backup plan: maintaining his cover, he manages to have Jesse implicate Khan's right hand man in the theft. The two gangsters end up shooting each other and Michael and Jesse are free to go.
But unlike other clients, Jesse's not leaving any time soon. For one thing, Vaughn still wants Michael to pick Jesse's brain without seeming like he's picking his brain. And for another, Jesse moves in to the new rental unit in Madeline's garage. He's willing to let Michael help him catch whoever he was after when he got burned, but then he plans to find and kill whoever burned him. What can Michael say to that but okey-dokey?
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As usual, we open with someone trying to talk to Michael about something, but this time it's Sam, telling Michael not to go meet with Vaughn (which he says is a vampire name) and quit working with the people who burned him. Of course Michael won't be talked out of it, not only because he feels obligated to find out who sprung Simon, but also because he got poor Jesse Porter burned last week and doesn't want it to have been for nothing. That last is good enough for Sam. "But I still think Vaughn is a vampire name," he argues. Is anything not a vampire name these days?
Michael goes and meets Vaughn at the latter's hotel suite and says he's still going through Porter's file, which is pretty raw. And speaking of Jesse, Vaughn has heard that Porter's out there looking for who stole his file and got him burned. You know, the whole Season One Michael Westen bit. Vaughn assures Michael that they'll have him "taken care of," but Michael insists on being put in charge of the hunt for Jesse so they can use him. Although he denies feeling responsible for the dude. Vaughn pleasantly hands Michael a thick file of phone records at the financial company whose lines Jesse hacked to make his calls from. "Bug it, boss," Vaughn suggests.
Later, outside said company's building, Fi tries to convince Michael to leave well enough alone, but since she's obviously going to be unsuccessful, they do a little "Sunday break-in." Once inside, they've got 90 seconds before the alarm kicks in. Michael busies himself with the company's computer-powered phone switchboard to try to find which line he needs to bug, while Fi gets to work vandalizing the place so it'll look like the break-in was the work of a disgruntled ex-employee. And to buy a little extra time, she sets a homemade incendiary charge in a wastebasket to distract the guard and cover their escape. Now the company will never know that spies were there. Lesson for companies: don't ever fire anyone.
Michael and Sam bust into Madeline's house with guns leveled, and find her slumped in a chair. Of course it's a false alarm, and they scare the hell out of her waking her up. Seems they got a rather terse text from her: "Need help now." But instead of being under siege, she wants them to convert her garage to a rental apartment. She's even got a tenant already lined up, not that we'll ever meet him. Michael protests, pointing out all the "private work" they do in the garage, but Madeline says she needs more stable people in her life. Okay, whatever. We'll see how that works out.
Cut to Michael and Sam working on renovating the garage, waiting for a baby monitor to go off that's rigged up to the bug of Jesse's hijacked phone line. When it does, they overhear him arranging a meeting with someone that afternoon at four. Sounds like he's got a lead on who burned him. Michael starts to dial Fi on his cell. "For the record, I already hate everything about this," Sam says. Even before Michael called Fi?
Later, the team has a park staked out, with Sam sweating in his car (and complaining at length about it over their Blueteeth) while Fi and Michael watch from a nearby rooftop. Eventually a man arrives whom the subtitles identify as "Jesse -- The Spy Michael Burned." Like last week, he's played by Coby Bell from Third Watch, not that I recognize him because for me, that show was more of a Last Watch. Jesse meets with a heavyset man at a picnic table, who apologizes because he doesn't have anything for Jesse -- he was just blackmailed into setting up this meeting. Moments later, Sam spots a couple of SUVs rolling into position. Somehow Jesse doesn't, and the team wants to help him out. Fi's ready to start shooting, but Michael has a better idea. He tells Sam to break the chain off a nearby bicycle and fling it up around some power lines overhead. Just as the Asian guys in suits are getting out of their SUV, the transformer explodes thanks to Sam's short circuit, making a nice little distraction and sending them scurrying back into their vehicles. "You sold me out to Khan," Jesse accuses his contact, and starts running, shooting out the tires of the SUVs as they go. Fi's impressed with Jesse's performance, but they realize they'd better find him before the other guys do.
That night, Michael catches up with Fi and Sam at the bar, and all he found out was that the contact was killed and his body dumped. So I think we can assume that the people who set Jesse up are not the authorities. Just then Michael gets a cell phone call from Vaughn, who's very overdressed for an evening walk on the beach. He's not impressed that Michael didn't nab Jesse, and he's not feeling very helpful when Michael asks him to step in. "You wanted to handle this? Handle it." Michael's starting to prove a challenge to Vaughn's jovial demeanor.
Michael comes home to find the padlock on his gate facing the wrong way, which tells him someone's waiting inside to get the drop on him. How that person re-engaged the lock from the inside is a mystery of its own. Rather than walking away or into the trap, Michael sets his cell phone on the hood of the Charger to ring, then drops over the fence with his gun leveled at the intruder -- who is of course none other than Jesse. But he's not there for the reason you think. He tells Michael, "I need your help." Well, of course he does. That did make finding him a whole lot easier.
After the ads, Jesse's following Michael into his loft and explaining his situation to Michael, like Michael doesn't already know. But aside from the whole burning thing, Jesse's more worried about an old enemy who's after him, Ming Khan, who thinks Jesse stole two million dollars from him. Michael offers to see what he can do. "Part of me thinks that burned spies need to stick together." And the other part thinks it couldn't hurt to have a friend back in counterintelligence someday to put in a good word for him. They shake on it, and now Jesse is "Jesse - The Client." Now he just needs a place to sleep.
Michael sets him up in the vacant condo net to Fi's, which she of course is not happy about. "Another one of your strays ruins my linens, I will kill you," she threatens. After they rejoin Jesse out in the living room. Fi demands the skinny (no pun intended) on Khan. Jason explains that Khan was a gun smuggler turned snitch, and Jesse was his handler, and some money Khan was supposed to get never arrived. So he blames Jesse for it. "Not to be crass, but have you considered shooting him?" Fi suggests. No, we certainly wouldn't want Fi to be crass. Jesse says Khan has too many bad-ass friends who would come after him, so Michael and Fi figure they'll just set him up to get busted on weapons charges. Jesse seems skeptical, what with Khan being a psycho and all. "I'm a spy, Jesse, that's what we do," Michael says, and asks Fi, "Have things changed since I've been out?"
day, Michael's in a brown suit and tinted John Lennon glasses as he walks up to Khan's table at a restaurant, dispatches one of the guards with a thumb lock, and sits down across from "Khan -- The Psycho Hunting Jesse." Introducing himself as "Turner" and speaking in a deep, generic "dumb guy" voice, he says they both know Jesse Porter. Khan turns to his number two, Lee ("Lee, Khan's Number Two", the subtitles call him), and they both pretend not to know what he's talking about. Michael, through a mouthful of the incapacitated guard's food, offers to take it to go, but he's got Khan's attention. Michael hands him a "surveillance" photo of Jesse supposedly "dug in like a tick" (even though the photo clearly shows him poking his head out of what is supposedly a "bunker") and explains that he needs some firepower and manpower to get him out of there. Khan and Lee are not interested. "Can I take the Mongolian Beef?" Michael asks.
Later, at the Carlito, Michael assures Jesse that they've made progress, and introduces him to Sam to talk about the step: they'll stage an ambush at Khan's place where Jesse will pretend to try to kill Khan and Lee, and Michael will step in to pretend to stop him, thus becoming Khan's hero. The only part Jesse doesn't like is the part where he doesn't get to tangle with an armed guard. So you know he'll be changing that part when the time comes.
So later, when it's time for the mission to go down, Sam and Michael watch from the Charger as Jesse starts kicking off the mission -- his way. Sam gets out of the Charger so Michael can swoop in, while Jesse sleeper-holds the guard and starts shooting at Khan. Michael drives in, smashing through the gate, and Jesse starts shooting at Michael to sell it a little better. More major cosmetic damage to the Charger that Michael will end up fixing before the sun goes down tonight, but for now all he can do, according to his VO, is "go with the flow and shoot back." Which he does, getting out of the car and firing at Jesse until Jesse makes a run for it and dives into the bushes. "Are you trying to die?" Michael asks Lee and Khan in his "Turner" voice. They've got their guns pointed at him, since they're pretty upset about this whole situation, and he says he's trying to help them with Jesse. Finally he turns and walks away, VOing that it's an effective sales technique when it doesn't get you shot in the back, and indeed it seems to work. Michael agrees to be back tomorrow with a shopping list of the stuff they'll need to get Jesse out of his bunker. Michael adds, "Oh, and Khan, tell your sidekick his safety is on. Ha ha."
Back at the loft courtyard, Michael and Sam don't exactly greet Jesse warmly when he shows up. After taking a break from replacing the Charger's windshield to step between Sam and an unrepentant Jesse, Michael explains the step: go meet with Khan, and convince him to "buy enough artillery to start World War III." Yeah, we got that already. I think the point of this scene was more to show the windshield being replaced.
day, out back with Lee and Khan, Michael presents his list of suggested weapons to the bad guys. Lee argues that all this crap isn't legal, but Michael makes a good case, calling on his/Turner's experience flushing people out and interrogating them. Khan listens to Michael instead, and agrees to wire the money to an account.
On his way out, Michael calls Fi to ask her and Jesse to acquire a truck while he goes over to his mom to deal with a problem. "Her renter's cat found some of my old detonators," he says, and already moved out. Are cats allergic to detonators or something?
Fi and Jesse add some new suspension and a nitrous oxide tank to a truck. Once they're done, they do a little bonding as Fi says she heard about Jesse's prowess with a gun. Whatever, he missed a bunch of people on purpose; I could do that. Probably. Anybody want to volunteer as my non-target? Fi? He modestly explains that he started in the field, but ended up strapped to a desk for going after too many bad guys. "Turns out some guys can watch a dude smack his girlfriend around in a bar and some guys can't," he shrugs. Of course Fi's impressed, and invites him for a joyride. Is this going to turn into a love triangle?
Later, Michael meets with Khan and Lee to check out the ordnance they got him, and then goes to load it into his truck, just to manipulate their distrustful asses into demanding to transport it themselves. Which totally works. When they're on the road to where Jesse's bunker supposedly is, Sam calls in a tip to the cops, who are soon on Lee's tail, which is striking sparks off the pavement due to all the heavy artillery weighing down the car's trunk. They try to peel out as Michael VOs that a high-speed pursuit in a caravan doesn't require you to be faster than the cops -- just faster than the other car. Lee passes Michael, who finds a use for that nitrous tank and VOs, "Of course, it helps if you are faster than the cops." Michael hits the laughing gas and cuts off Lee, sending the car into a roll that dumps all the weapons out of the trunk right in front of the cops. That went exactly as planned. Uh-oh, it's a little early in the episode for that.
morning, Michael is trying to reach Jesse from his loft, and Fi tells him not to worry, Jesse's not the type to leave without saying goodbye. "He's not you," she adds, in case we didn't get it. Just then, Michael gets a call from Khan, which he answers in his Turner voice. Seems Khan pulled some strings to get himself out of jail, and now he's got Jesse as well, because Jesse went back to his apartment. Oops. Michael gets to listen to Jesse getting tasered for a while. Why is Khan even calling? Turner can't be his favorite person right now. Well, it seems he remembered Michael's earlier speech about his interrogation skills. Despite being pretty upset, Michael stays in character as Turner and reminds Khan that he gets Jesse when Khan's done with him, as per their original deal. "I'll try not to do any permanent damage," Khan says, unconvincingly.
Michael has made use of the commercial break to change into his Turner suit, and as he and Fi leave the loft, he's got a plan. That two million that Khan thinks Jesse stole and won't let him go until he has it? Michael just needs to make Khan think someone else stole it. Namely, Lee. Well, that's actually rather elegant. He tells Fi to get Barry on that. Which Fi does, but even after busting up Barry's meeting with a client, he says it's not going to be easy.
But of course, as Sam and Michael are prepping, setting up someone who can pass for a relative of Jesse's, they get a call from Fi saying Lee's personal account is in Antigua. Now all Michael needs to do is get the right information to Jesse. In front of Lee and Khan, no less. They lead him to Jesse, and Michael starts selling it right away, backhanding Jesse hard enough to knock over both him and the chair he's tied to. As he's righted, Michael reaches into his briefcase to pull out an obituary for "Kathy Porter," and claims he had her killed. Jesse plays along, acting angry about the death of his "aunt," and Michael asks him where the money went, lest he start "killing" more members of Jesse's family. He's holding the printout in Jesse's face, ostensibly to keep "Aunt Kathy" in the front of his mind, but really indicating the word "Antigua" with one finger. Jesse obligingly drops that word, and Khan and Lee start freaking out because that's where their accounts are. Michael shuts them up and asks Jesse the account number, this time holding his finger to the "online archive number" of what is supposedly the news article. Jesse reads off the number, and this time it's just Lee who freaks out, because he recognizes his account number. Khan turns on Lee, and Lee turns on Khan, and they shoot each other in the chest, leaving Michael free to take Jesse out of there. Looks like Lee didn't have the safety off that time. Michael tells the surviving guards that he's seen that wound before, and Khan will live if they get him to the hospital. But as he and Jesse jump into Sam's car outside, Michael says that although he has seen that wound before, it actually means Khan will be dead in five minutes. I guess Lee is already dead, having been killed properly.
That night, at Fi's place, Jesse says he's moving out of the condo door due to a bee infestation. Sure, "bees." Fortunately, Fi has already arranged for Jesse to stay in Madeline's new garage apartment. Michael has his doubts about this, but that's just tough shit. Now that that's settled, she asks Jesse why he went back to his apartment, and Jesse rather sheepishly shows them the St. Christopher's medal that he got from his mom and had to get back. "I guess it worked for you," Fi says. "Yeah, but not for her," Jess says mysteriously. Although it's really only mysterious because it's the last line before the ads and neither Fi nor Michael ask him any more about it.
Over at Vaughn's, he wants to celebrate Michael winning Jesse's trust so now they can be in a position to start picking his brain. Michael warns Vaughn that he can't push too hard without making Jesse suspicious, and Vaughn offers to get some guys to "help facilitate." Michael interprets that to mean torture, and Vaughn says that they're on a timetable. "So for Jesse's sake, get at it."
Back at Madeline's, Michael is just in time to see her lend Jesse some of her best gun cleaner. "He's trouble. I like him," she tells Michael. Yes, we get it, we're supposed to like Jesse. Michael asks her what happened to having someone nice stay with her, and she says nice is overrated. Plus she forgot she hated cats. Hey, they're not so bad if you keep your detonators locked up. "What kind of sissy wouldn't sleep with a gun under his pillow anyway?" Madeline wonders. The kind of sissy who doesn't want to wake up with a bullet in his head?
So Michael goes out to talk to Jesse, and ask him about why he was burned. Jesse says he might have gotten too close to someone, and Michael offers to help him continue that quest. Jesse warns Michael that he's seeing this through, and plans to get back in. "But then I'm gonna find the person that ruined my life, and I'm gonna kill him. Are you good with that?" Michael looks at Jesse cleaning his gun, and says he is. Now where did he leave Management's number again?
Watch this episode here, discuss this episode in our forums, then read some of Michael Westen's Most Useful Spy Tips!
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M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.