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There's a lot happening in Paradise this week. First of all, Truly is evicted from her storefront, so obviously her first recourse is to relocate to her arch-nemesis's bungalow. Michelle is a good sport about it and let's her camp out. She also realizes that Sasha is still avoiding her parents and let's her hang out. She also chases cute Roman away, which is probably a good thing. Carl is back from camp and tells Boo, who seems to have lost her reservations and is genuinely in hard like with him, that she has to meet his parents. They had apparently talked about it before he left, but she doesn't really remember. Also, Melanie is trying to get through The Great Gatsby and is having a very difficult time. Did anyone tell her that Leo is about to be in the new movie? Maybe a girl that age would care more about Carey Mulligan?
Talia calls Michelle and tells her that a friend of her old boyfriend Rick's is coming to Paradise and she took the liberty to arrange a blind date for him (his name is Marion) and Michelle. She's not excited. Also, she gives Boo the worst advice about meeting Carl's parents. And, it goes as awkwardly as you can imagine. Alex Borstein is Carl's mom though and she's fantastic and actually very nice. Michelle's advice really sent that down the wrong path. Her decision to let Truly store her stuff there was a mistake too, which she discovered when she came home and there was a full-scale retail party happening in the bungalow.
Oh my God, two new kids show up at the local high school one of whom is Jeanine, winner of that season of So You Think You Can Dance! Her final solo on the show is still one of the highlights of a series of which I haven't really missed a single second. Well, she's super intimidating and changes costume multiple times throughout the day. Rad. Her brother is this devastating type that only AS-P can write. Ginny is delegated as the person who has to find out about him and when she talks to him, he is sketching a picture of HER. I could die.
When Boo was at dinner with Carl's parents, she thought she heard him say that he wanted to marry her. So, when he came for dinner at her house (which was a much less organized affair), she said that she would marry him, though she wanted to finish high school first. He says that she misunderstood him, though he thinks she's fine marriage material. Things are good between them.
Michelle accompanies Truly to the Oyster House where she meets with her landlord, Millie, who has hiked Truly's rent by forty percent. It's Paris from Gilmore Girls! After a tense discussion, it is revealed that the two are sisters! Weird family. Apparently, once Truly stole Millie's boyfriend and things have never been the same. That boyfriend? Was Hubbell. The resolution? Truly stays at Michelle's.
The girls are foaming at the mouth about the newcomers, especially once they see Jeanine dance. She's still brilliant. Her name is Cosette. Perfect. Even Michelle is impressed with her technique. As Ginny is getting ready for class, the brother sends a paper airplane her way. It's a drawing of Mad Ludwig's Castle and instructions to destroy the drawing. I am ON BOARD for all of that. Later, Sasha was going to meet Roman at the studio again when Michelle catches her (she left her date with Marion early). Michelle asks her if she needs the “talk” about boys and whatnot. She doesn't. Her mother shows up though and tells her that she and her gay dad are breaking up and both are moving away from Paradise. Sasha screams that she's not going and her mother just walks away.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!We open with Michelle leading her adult tap class. She jumps in to show them how it's done, though they really aren't so bad on their own. When they finish, it's the end of class and Michelle makes some crack about how the ghost of Donald O'Connor is smiling on them. This old lady, Maybin, because the baby naming books in Paradise have always been weird or a little literal (Truly? Boo!), comes up to Michelle and tells her that she must never utter Donald O'Connor's name. Never! One of the younger adults is nearby and when Michelle asks her what the big deal with Maven is, she asks if Michelle asked about Donald O'Connor. He's a sore spot apparently. This lady asks when the adult tap class is having a recital. They aren't, because they aren't kids and don't have a built-in audience. This lady suggests that they do something else special, like a tap dance flash mob. Hint: all the people walking around and towards their destination in taps would make it less of a flash mob and more like a nightmare. Before she leaves, Michelle asks the lady what the big deal with Donald O'Connor is. She's not sure but Fiorello LaGuardia and Bob Barker are also sensitive subjects.
Michelle locks up the studio and turns the lights out and leaves. The lights immediately come back on. She looks back inside and it's Sasha. She weirdly tells some tale about how she didn't get some step they learned earlier that day and she wanted to work on it. Michelle asks if her parents are still fighting. It doesn't sound good. She tells Sasha that she is proud of her and if she ever needs anyone to talk to, she's there. Then, she asks if Roman is outside. He is. She calls for him. He enters and asks if he's getting taller. Maybe. She tells Sasha that she has done everything that she has done and knows everything. Then, Roman asks if he can leave. For all the sneaking around he does, he knows when to exit.
The day, the dancers are doing partner work in ballet. It gets worse and worse. She suggests that they do it over again and one of the boys cries, "Come on!" Fine, class is over. All of the boys walk off without speaking to Michelle. Maybe this is because they didn't have a budget for that many talkers for this episode? It seems odd that they are so upset with Michelle. Aren't they supposed to direct their anger at the girls. Those eating disorders aren't going to just create themselves.
Michelle gets a call from Talia. She tells Michelle to open an email on her phone. It's a fuzzy photo of a guy named Marion. He's a friend of Rick's, he's coming to the Paradise area and Talia has set up a date. Michelle is skeptical but Talia persists. In the dressing room, Boo is freaking out because Carl is coming home early and she had planned his homecoming perfectly. Meanwhile, Melanie is reading The Great Gatsby and not understanding it. Ginny is no help. Really? That book is not especially rigorous reading, at least not in a linear sense. Devices and whatnot, there's a lot of stuff there, but it's not difficult to realize that George Wilson is Myrtle's husband instead of his brother, which is a question that Myrtle has. They should have gone with Faulkner. I read it the same year and that shiz is still a freaking Rubik's cube. Ginny impresses to Boo that Carl coming home early to be with Boo is actually a sweet thing.
Boo starts to list the things that she was going to do to prepare for Carl's return (hair, nails, fancy bath) when she stops. Matisse, one of the little girl ballerinas, asks if she was going to mention bathing suit area grooming. Boo is scandalized. She asks for help choosing between two dresses and Sasha comes in and assists. She asks Melanie if she's well -- she's not a big reader. Who starts reading when they start to feel ill? Melanie is waiting for the appearance of a whale, which Sasha assures her does not happen in The Great Gatsby.
Boo is about to leave and Ginny wants to know what Boo was going to say when she stopped reciting her grooming list. She whispers that she is planning on shaving above the knee. Ginny just pats her head and says, "Oh Boo." Boo is walking through the studio when Carl stops her! He got home even earlier. Instead of being happy, she's mortified that he's seeing her in this state. She insists that he not look at her and says that she smells bad, but he keeps telling her that she's being silly. I think he got taller? He finally gets a kiss out of her. She assures him that she was faithful while he was gone, though she did see Magic Mike twice. He's fine with that because, yes, Channing Tatum is a fine actor. That won't be a joke forever, mark my words. He reminds her that she agreed to have dinner with his parents. Then, in honor of The Hunger Games, he gives her some arrows and a bow that he carved. Super cute. She's thrilled.
Michelle is looking at her phone when Boo runs past her. She is just noticing when Truly starts calling her for help. She's at Michelle's bungalow and is holding a bunch of clothes from her store. Her landlord changed the locks on her store. Apparently, Truly does not have a lease. And, she stopped paying. She says that the landlord raised her rent so much that she threw her lease into a fire. And, she had to go to an Irish pub and use their fireplace. Michelle says that they will figure it out. In the meantime, Michelle will make some room in her armoire for Truly's clothes.
At the high school, the girls are together when they witness the arrival two new kids on a Vespa. The girl is gorgeous and so is the boy. The girl is Jeanine from So You Think You Can Dance! And, she's carrying a bouquet of flowers and they have no idea why. Meanwhile, Truly wakes Michelle up because she has a customer who would like to look at her clothes. Michelle lets her in. Truly asks that Michelle not speak and when the customer asks for coffee, Michelle obliges.
The girls are obsessed with the new girl, who apparently speaks multiple languages. Ginny spies the boy playing the piano masterfully and he's CUTE. Later, Jeanine, whose name is apparently Cosette, has changed clothes. Amazing. Boo tells Sasha that the brother's name is Frankie. Sasha feels that they are like Franny and Zooey. Cosette is currently speaking Spanish at her locker. They see Frankie and he has also had a costume change. Boo is feeling faint from how sophisticated the siblings are when Cosette, leaving her locker, does a turn and sheds her skirt, revealing a new skirt. Boo says that only happens in the movies. It also happens in Paradise.
Later, Michelle is at The Oyster House. Boo tells her that she should try the fried chicken because they just changed the grease. Michelle says she likes the old grease because it has Wessonality. We're going to just leave that alone. Michelle shows Boo the fuzzy picture of Marion. That's really a bad picture, apparently. No one can figure out what's happening. She explains that she doesn't really want to go on a blind date, but she doesn't meet enough people. Boo tells her that she is supposed to meet Carl's parents. Michelle tells her not to go. Since that's not an option, she tells her to say whatever it is that she thinks Carl's parents want her to say. Plus, she says that things will go south at the 90 minute mark and she should make a hasty exit. Worst advice ever.
That night, Boo is with Carl and his parents at a Chinese restaurant. Carl's dad is complaining because Carl's mom, Sweetie, is ordering too much for the table. That's just what she does. Every question she asks Boo, she tries to answer as she thinks Sweetie wants. It makes for some pretty awkward conversation. Sweetie is played by Alex Borstein though and she's fantastic. She asks Boo who her favorite ballerina is and Boo doesn't know what to say, so Sweetie suggests Gelsey Kirkland. Boo says yes. Sweetie says Gelsey Kirkland had terrible cocaine problem, so Boo says no. It's ugly. Then, her alarm goes off. It has been 90 minutes. She goes to the bathroom and hears them talking. Her mom, naturally, is like what the hell's up with that girl. Carl says that he likes her and could MARRY HER. Wha? Geez, my mom would have locked me in a room and slipped my Chinese food under the door if I was talking about marriage at 17. I was talking about revivals of Sunday in the Park with George though, so she had a different set of worries.
That evening, Michelle gets home to find a party happening in her bungalow. She senses Roman in the bushes and asks him if he knows what's up. He doesn't and she sends him away. Truly is having an open house for her clothing line in the bungalow. Michelle suggests that they meet her landlord at The Oyster House and try to resolve their disagreement and get her store back.
The day, Boo tells the girls that Carl is thinking about marrying her. Sasha asks her if they are having sex and Boo says that she would know because she would have called her. Sasha is confused, so Boo reminds her that they made a pact in eighth grade to tell each other when they had sex. No one really held onto that as an actual thing except for Boo, who thought it was nice because it made it all seem less scary. Ginny assures her that they will honor the pact. They notice Jeanine having an elaborate picnic on the school lawn. Mitch Alvarado joins her, which is some sort of coup and maybe the last straw for the girls. They insist that Ginny go speak with Frankie and find out what the story is.
Ginny approaches Frankie as he's drawing and says, "Hello Virginia." She asks how he knew her name. He asks how she knew his name. She asks how he knew she knew his name and he says, "I know now." CUTE. She asks what he's drawing and he says that he is throwing it away and won't let her see. She asks where he's from and he says that they moved from Bavaria. Ginny has always wanted to see Mad Ludwig's Castle. He tells her that she will see it soon. Then, she sees his drawing. It's of her and the girls! Then, he walks away. Swoon. Seriously?
Later, Boo and Carl are having dinner at Boo's place. Boo's mom, on a stool because she's still on bed rest, is trying to make paella. She's confused about the recipe though and puts barbecue sauce on everything, to make it brown. Things are not going well, per Boo. Her dad is watching TV. Her brothers are making a lot of noise. Dinner is taking forever. After dinner, Boo's little brother does some sort of cowpoke dance for them while they have dessert. It's kind of amazing, though Boo is not impressed. It ends abruptly and Boo's mom claps and says it's exciting because you never know when it's going to end. Heh. Carl made Bananas Foster for dessert. Apparently, no booze or flambe was involved, because I'm sure they would mention that. When they are doing dishes later, Boo tells Carl that she will marry him, though she wants to finish high school first. She calls herself a loaf of unbaked bread but promises that she will make a good wife. Carl is terrified. He explains that he didn't mean the marriage thing literally. He has to be dramatic to get his mother to listen to him. He thinks it's early to talk about marriage. Duh. She comes off the ledge and they seem happy.
The day, Michelle and Truly are sitting silently at The Oyster House. Michelle tells Truly to take a breath. Millie, the landlord, arrives. It's Liza Weil! Man, I miss her. I also just started watching The West Wing on Netflix and she's on an episode in the first season. And, seriously, she hasn't really aged at all. In fact, she looks maybe a little better right now. Why doesn't she work all of the time? She's fantastic. Anyway, she sees that Michelle is there and says that, if she knew they were bringing friend, she would have brought Leonard. He's just a friend of hers. They do stuff together. Things are tense. Millie is not keen on lowering the rent. Michelle asks if there's maybe a middle ground they could find. Millie says that she will have to consult Leonard, but she is pretty sure the answer is no. Then, things get weird. Millie says something about Truly borrowing money from "mom" to start her store. Truly says that Millie was "mom's" favorite, what with Millie's fancy parties and perfect daughter. Apparently though, the daughter is no longer perfect since Truly gave her a concussion. Michelle has just caught on. These two are sisters. Michelle tells Truly to go to the bar, then she tries to sweet talk Millie who mentions that they have two other sisters ("One's OK. The other's an actress."- WINNER: Best Line of the Episode). These two have a lot of old animosity towards each other. The biggest thing? Truly stole Millie's boyfriend. The "boyfriend"? Hubbell. Uh oh. Michelle doesn't back out gracefully but instead announces that she married Hubbell. "You're the madam?" asks Millie.
At the bar, Michelle tells Truly that they have a game plan. Truly will continue to use her bungalow. AND, Michelle is giving the concussed daughter two years of free tap lessons. Wow, sins of the showgirl.
Later, at the studio, the girls are still obsessed with Frankie and Cosette. Then, they go inside to find Cosette in the midst of a truly special contemporary ballet number. I still remember Jeanine's solo from the finale of her season of So You Think You Can Dance. Beautiful. Something about her extension has such personality. When she finishes, she just walks off and says "Trippy song, huh?" to the girls. Ginny is changing her shoes when a paper airplane lands in her lap. She opens it. It's a drawing of Mad Ludwig's Castle with instructions to "Destroy This." She looks up and sees Frankie upstairs. Smiles. I'm so into that happening.
That night, Sasha is texting with Roman inside the dance studio. She tells him to "Abort." Eek. Michelle finds her again. She went on her date with Marion, whose name is apparently a joke. They keep saying that John Wayne's original name was Marion. I used to live to a kid named Marion when I was a kid, so I don't think it's so weird. Michelle asks Sasha if she needs "the talk." She says that she doesn't. Then, there's a noise outside. Sasha insists that she told Roman not to come. Michelle says that it isn't Roman. It's her mom. She tells Sasha that she and her father are divorcing. Her dad is moving in with his boyfriend in San Jose. She is moving to LA. Sasha is supposed to choose between the two places but she refuses, strongly. Her mother just turns and walks away.
Jeff Long is a writer/performer living in Brooklyn. He can be reached at jeff.long75@gmail.com and followed on Twitter at @jblong.