Xander's apartment at night. I didn't know he still lived there! Lots of Junior Misses are sleeping in the living room. Put these together with the girls at Buffy's and you have a multitude of maidens. This Slayer thing is not much of an exclusive club anymore. In Xander's bedroom, he lies under the covers as he talks with a Junior Miss who's perched on the bed. We've never seen this girl before -- but damn she's wearing too much slap. Go easy on the eyebrow plucking, sister. Eyebrows got a right to live too. This girl's sort of a knock-off J. Lo. Hee. She's J. Sweet 'n' Lo! Anyway, Xander tries to reassure the Junior Miss that "Buffy knows what she's doing." He continues that Buffy won't send this girl into battle until she's sure J. Sweet 'n' Lo is ready for "action." Ruh roh! Did someone say action? Wrong word choice! J. Sweet 'n' Lo frets a little about being scared and then lowers her eyes coyly, musing about how young she is, and inexperienced. She worries that she'll die without ever having "been with a man." Xander stutters a little. Suddenly, another girl pops up beside J. Sweet 'n' Lo and lisps, "I've never been with a man before either." Ah, this is a fantasy or dream sequence. Got it. The new girl, Colleen, gestures towards J. Sweet 'n' Lo and continues, "I've never been with her in front of a man before." J. Sweet 'n' Lo gestures back and clarifies, "I've never been with her in front of a man either." Yes, I think Colleen established that, J. Sweet 'n' Lo. As Xander gulps I snigger a little because of the silly repetition and the ridiculous scenario. Poor Xander, erotic dreaming about his young charges dopily coming onto him (with requisite girl-on-girl action). So pedestrian. So '80s teen-movie. The girls creep towards Xander, who protests unconvincingly.
As he gathers J. Sweet 'n' Lo and Colleen into his arms, the door to his bedroom pops open and swelling romantic music plays as we see that the living room is full of Junior Misses, clad only in undies and matching bras or tanks, having a full-scale pillow fight. And I was pretty much okay with this scene up until this point. After looking at the episode as a whole, with its themes of "seeing" and voyeurism, as well as fantasy and objectification, I can see what the writer was doing with the J. Sweet 'n' Lo and Colleen scene, although I don't think it helped us learn anything new about Xander. The bikini pillow-fight was just gratuitous, though. Did the writers decide to compile a final episodes wish list of things they always wanted to do on Buffy but never got the chance to? If so, who do you think contributed "bikini pillow-fight" to the list? Xander is awoken (or interrupted from his fantasizing) by Rona shouting his name. I note that he has both arms under the covers here. As he blinks and stutters, Rona tells him, "Dominique has the stomach flu and the toilet bowl is backed up." Xander tells the girls he'll be out in a minute, lamely saying he has a "leg cramp." Yeah, a third leg cramp. Yes, there's fantasy and there's reality, and a good man can separate the two. I already learned that about Xander in "Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered."