Primeval

Previously on Buffy: Maggie Walsh created Adam, who killed her; Adam recruited Spike for his cause; Forrest blamed Buffy for stealing his boyfriend Riley; the Scooby gang had a big fight; Riley went to see Adam.

Open on the burned-out remains of Sunnydale High. Buffy and her Bedazzled coat call for Riley. I guess since the Mayor died, public works have slowed down in Sunnydale. I can't think of any other reason that school is still standing.

In Adam's cave lair, Adam bores Riley and then calls him "brother." Adam explains that Professor Walsh installed a chip in Riley's chest that allows Adam to control him. Riley gives Adam some lip for calling him brother, but Adam tells him to sit, demonstrating Riley's powerlessness. He then continues to ramble about the power that Riley will experience once he's accepted his destiny as Adam's henchman. Riley glares. I hate this episode, because I hate any episode that begins with an Adam-intensive scene.

After the credits I am disappointed to see that we return to Adam and Riley in Adam's lair. Adam is starting to explain his big plan to Riley, who grits out, "Not really wanting a lecture right now." Adam, who of course wouldn't know an enthusiastic audience if it bit him on his green ass, continues to explain that demons are basically old-fashioned and "hopeless with technology" (except our boy Spike, right?). In contrast, humans are smart, but have the weakness of emotion. Adam says that "Mother's" plan was for Riley to fight to Adam's side. Spike snarks at this scene of brotherly love from the doorway and then enters, demanding that Adam keep his deal and remove the chip in Spike's head. Adam just fixes Spike with a steely glare. Upon re-inspecting the chip-controlled Riley, Spike teases, "Slightly stiffer than usual." ["Was that a shout-out?" -- Sars] He snaps his fingers in front of Riley's face and continues, "What's with him?" He then starts poking Riley in the chest. As I watched this scene, I realized that the guy who plays Adam is actually a few inches taller than Marc Blucas, which makes him a very big man. Together he and Riley dwarf Spike to such an extent that I giggled. Sorry, James honey. Adam explains about Riley's chip, and Spike makes cranky noises about chips. Adam reminds Spike that he's going to remove the chip when the Slayer is where Adam wants her. Spike flops down on the couch, gloating about how he sowed discontent in the Scooby gang and insured that none of them will be talking to Buffy soon. Adam agrees that's "how" he wanted Buffy, but "where" he wants her is in the Initiative compound, so that she can "achieve maximum carnage before she is too weak to go on." Riley protests, but Adam shuts him up with a command, and I must say I wish I had the remote to Riley's chip; I'd program him to sit in the corner for every episode season and never open his big trap. Spike replies that the info on the discs he gave Willow will get Buffy into the Initiative, but Adam points out that if Willow isn't speaking to Buffy due to Spike's interference, then she isn't likely to give Buffy the information in the first place. I personally think Willow's better than that, but Spike and Adam couldn't be expected to know such a thing. Spike finally realizes the flaw in his plan and rushes off to manipulate Buffy into entering the Initiative.

A knock at Giles's door. He answers, holding an ice pack to the back of his neck, to finds Willow and Tara. Giles, painfully hung-over, clutches the front of his velvet bathrobe and explains that he's had "a bit of a late start." Willow nods understandingly, and Tara nicely says she hopes Giles feels okay. Giles tries to put on a brave front, saying he's fine and will be going out for a jog soon, but he isn't fooling the l'il witchies. Willow explains that she forgot her laptop, and Giles invites them in. He asks if they'll be working at his apartment, and although his mouth says it would be fine, his queasy face is screaming at them to go away quickly. Willow assures him she doesn't want to stay and tucks her laptop into her shoulder bag. Giles smiles wanly at Tara who grins back. Willow and Tara leave and Giles shuts the door behind them.

Buffy sits on the floor in her dorm room, looking sad. She gets up and picks up a framed picture of her, Willow, and Xander off of Willow's night stand. She then picks up her clunky blue phone, but thinks better of it and replaces the receiver. She gets out her weapons bag and lifts a large battle-ax from beside her bed.

Establishing shot of Xander's parents' house. In his basement room, a bare-chested Xander is lying in bed, covered by a blanket and staring at the ceiling. Anya trots down the steps, chirping about how Xander was supposed to go to the unemployment office. He just turns his head to look at her and sighs. Anya lifts up the blanket, raises her eyebrows and says, "You can't go like that. They won't even interview you if you're naked." Xander has his arms over his head so we're treated to extensive shot of his armpit hair as he flatly says he's not going to the unemployment office. He snots that perhaps he should go ahead and join the Army, but Anya reminds him that then he'd have to get up early in the morning. She asks if he's upset about the argument with Willow and Buffy and then says, "Get over it!" Anya dismisses Buffy and Willow's supposed opinion that Xander is a "lost directionless loser," but Xander worries they're correct about him. Anya finally shows some sign of humanity by lying on the bed, cuddling up to Xander, and telling him that he's a "good person and a good boyfriend. And I'm in love with you." Xander has zero reaction to this last sentence, but I'm not sure if we're supposed to think that he already knew this, or that he's dissing her big time. She continues that the girls' opinion of him don't matter and Xander, unconvinced, agrees.

Buffy, carrying her big ax, patrols Adam's cave. She stares at his computer set-up and wonders where he is.

Adam and Riley enter a bunker-like lab through a porthole shaped door. The sides of the room are lined with stainless steel gurneys and other medical equipment. Adam explains that "this is where the new race begins." When Riley inquires where they are, Adam explains that they are in a secret part of the Initiative that only "Mother" (Professor Walsh) knew about. Oh! I get it. I thought the Initiative labs were a big secret anyway, but here we have the realsecret labs. It's like a mystery wrapped in a riddle wrapped in a piss-poor story arc. The camera pans across the lab to focus on a zombiefied Professor Walsh clomping her way towards a figure lying on one of the gurneys. Her face appears to be decomposing, and plastic tubing full of blood runs from her neck to a large hump beneath her lab coat. She looks like she's wearing a bustle! Riley is amazed to see her, and he calls out to her but she doesn't respond. Adam says, "This is all how she planned it. Except she thought she'd be alive." Which does beg the question: why did Adam kill her? But I'm sure only the scriptwriters know the answer to that. Oh all right, probably they don't know either. Professor Walsh hands something to another zombie-doctor, who turns to Riley and reveals himself to be Angleman. Riley frets that he'll suffer the same fate, but Adam intones that Riley's "destiny is much greater." Suddenly the body on the gurney sits straight up. It's Forrest, in his new incarnation as FrankenFlamer! The top of his head and lower jaw have been replaced by that of a yellow polka-dotted demon. I can't help but feel that living Forrest would have been appalled at this color scheme. Riley looks queasy.

Buffy and her big ax are exiting Adam's cave when she runs into Spike. Spike claims to Buffy that he was scoping the cave for a "weekend getaway place," and Buffy snaps at him that Adam has been using the cave. Spike is shocked, shocked I tell you, to hear such news. After Buffy tells him that she thinks Adam has cleared out of the cave to begin his big plan, Spike sidles closer and asks what became of the disks he stole for her. Buffy explains that Willow has the disks, and Spike exclaims, "Well, I'd get on that! Can't ignore valuable information just because you two birds fell out, now can you?" Buffy, realizing that Spike should have no way of knowing about the Scooby fight, looks at him speculatively and just replies, "Right." Spike walks away in a swirl of black duster, claiming it's no worry of his.

In Tara's gloomy, overcrowded dorm room, Willow is working on her laptop. Tara suggests that she rest, but Willow declines, saying that she thinks she's realized how the disks are encrypted. As she's explaining the technical details, Tara exclaims, "Hey look! You did it," and points to the computer screen, where lines of text are starting to appear. Willow is very confused because she hadn't actually begun typing in her new decryption code, and then decides that the disks were programmed to decrypt themselves at a certain point. For a second she's annoyed at having the problem solved for her, but then she realizes she's being silly and gives a "yippee!" The phone rings and Tara answers. She excitedly starts to say that Willow is right there, but then interrupts herself and says she has to check. She tells Willow that Buffy is on the phone.

In the secret secret Initiative lab, Riley is sitting in a complicated stainless steel chair, trying to get Professor Walsh to respond to him as she fills a syringe. FrankenFlamer lumbers on the scene, telling Riley that Walsh is dead and "artificially re-animated." Forrest looks ridiculous with his yellow jaw, like he's been lapping cream out of a bowl. FrankenFlamer tells Riley that Walsh is a walking corpse, and when Riley accuses him of being one too, Forrest corrects him. He claims to be "surging with life" and that "Adam made [him] to be nearly as bad as he is." FrankenForrest makes reference to "trying out" Buffy again, and I'm really hoping he means trying her out in a fighting way and not the other way that comes to mind. Riley tells Forrest that he's sorry, but Forrest insists that he's better than ever, free of his human doubts and fears. He's all excited for the day that Adam fixes Riley up with some new parts and they are again fighting for the same team, if you know what I mean, and I think you do. Riley insists he'll never let Adam make him into one of them, but Forrest tells him he has no choice. Riley tries to insist that they can't control his mind, but Walsh finally toddles over and, telling him to "be a good boy," sticks him with a syringe of something. Let's say it all together, boys and girls: Riley clenches his jaw.

Buffy walks across campus, her arms crossed and her face all scowly. She meets up with Willow, Xander, and Giles, and the four of them look uncomfortably at each other. Xander explains that Anya decided not to come, and Willow whines that Tara didn't "feel welcome." Whatever, Will. That is all in your head, fight or no fight. Buffy asks who specifically told Willow that the others were talking behind her back; Willow, a little embarrassed, replies that it was Spike. She starts to justify herself, but Buffy interrupts to ask Xander who told him the others thought he should join the Army. Xander, starting to realize what has happened, confirms that it was Spike. Giles, sucking on a soda, assures Xander, "Well, uh, Spike can be very convincing, when, when, when, uh -- I'm very stupid." Buffy, explaining the obvious for the slower viewers at home, says, "Spike played us." She tries to smooth things over by saying, "That's where it came from, the stuff we said the other night." All the Scoobies agree that they're moving on from the fight, but then they just stand uncomfortably for a moment. Willow wonders why Spike purposefully made them angry at each other, and Buffy says she sure it was a deliberate plan having to do with Adam. Xander exclaims, "Spike's working for Adam? After all we've done -- nah, I can't even act surprised," and Giles gives a little smile. Buffy tells the gang about how she found Spike in Adam's lair, and Willow breaks in with her news that the disks decrypted themselves. She says the disks contain information the group already had about Lab 314, but also talk about a final phase, where "Adam manufactures a bunch of creepy cyber-demonoids like him" in a secret Initiative lab. Buffy realizes that Adam gave Spike the disks to give to her, and that she's intended to be aware of the "evil-guy assembly line." She continues that the demons in the overcrowded Initiative containment cells were caught so easily that it's as if they wanted to get into the compound. "The Trojan horse," realizes Giles, and Buffy confirms, for those in the viewing audience unsure of their mythology, that the demons will attack the Initiative from the inside. Xander speculates that the demons and soldiers will massacre each other, and Willow wraps everything up by saying that then Adam will have a pile of demon and human body parts from which to assemble his army. She rates the plan "diabolical, yet gross." Xander quips that he misses the Mayor, who just wanted to turn into a big snake. I and everyone else in the viewing audience except for Owen, who actually likes Adam, agrees. I'm beginning to suspect that he has a chip in hishead. Giles decides that they should warn the Initiative of Adam's plan, but the gang can't think of anyone to whom the military would listen. Xander asks why Adam wants Buffy there, and she decides it's because Adam wants her to "help even the kill ratio."

Another Adam scene. Oh how it makes me want to cry. In the actually secret Initiative lab Adam says he can "feel" that Buffy is coming and Spike excitedly hops onto a gurney, again asking for Adam to remove his chip. He asks him to be careful of his hair because he doesn't "fancy a combover once [he] resume[s] his killings ways." Riley, still immobilized in his chair, rolls his eyes at Spike. Adam says he won't remove Spike's chip until Buffy is actually there. Spike sighs. Lather, rinse, repeat scene where Spike wants his chip removed, ad nauseam.

At Giles's, the gang is discussing ways to defeat Adam. Buffy explains that Adam is powered by a "uranium core, imbedded somewhere inside his chest, probably near the spine," and Willow suggests magic, like perhaps a "uranium extracting spell," and then admits that she's reaching for solutions. Giles muses that perhaps a paralyzing spell would work; he can speak the necessary Sumerian for the spell, but it requires an "experienced witch" to incant it. The spell also requires that the incanter be very close to the victim in order to be effective. Xander quips that they need "combo Buffy," with Buffy's Slayer powers, Giles's knowledge of ancient languages, and Willow's witch capabilities. The gang stares at Xander, who admits that perhaps his suggestions aren't very helpful, but Giles seems to have an idea, prompted by Xander's quip.

Establishing shot of Riley's frat house. The gang enters purposefully, carrying bags of supplies. Willow looks for assurance that the "enjoining spell" they have decided to do is really powerful enough to conquer Adam, and Giles assures her that it is. However, he amends, the spell is also incredibly dangerous. Buffy declares that they're "going in" and kicks out the mirror that hides the Initiative elevator shaft. A little later, Buffy and Willow rappel down the elevator shaft slowly, strapped into harnesses. Buffy asks Will how she's doing and Willow assures Buffy that she's doing fine with the rappelling. Buffy then quietly says, "Will," and apologizes, saying she hates the fact that the Scooby gang have been at loggerheads. Willow tries to say it's not Buffy's fault, and blames Spike, but Buffy insists that Spike just took advantage of feelings that were already there. Buffy notes that they're all "drifted apart," and Willow responds that often happens in the first year of college. Buffy is agitated and says she doesn't want that to happen -- she wants the gang to stay close friends. She says she misses Willow, Xander, and Giles, and admits blame for getting so involved with herself and Riley. Willow admits that she too has been unavailable and has kept secrets from her friends. Buffy is very understanding of Willow's reluctance to divulge her feelings for Tara, and Willow admits that she was scared to talk to Buffy. Buffy looks at her and says, "You can tell me anything. I love you. You're my best friend." Willow responds in kind and they lean towards each other for a hug, causing them to lose their grip on their ropes. They start sliding quickly down the wall and land with a thump on top of the elevator. There they hug again and promise to always talk. Xander slides down his rope, landing between Buffy and Willow, who both hug him and tell him that they love him. Xander is worried this means they're going to die, but the girls say they just missed him. Xander, happy with hugs, calls up the wall, "Giles, hurry up! You definitely want to get down here for this." A little later, they're entering the elevator and Xander is working on prying apart the doors. Buffy tells everyone to stick close beside her, but when Xander and Giles finally muscle the elevator door open, the gang is faced by a whole passel of Initiative solders, rifles drawn.

Commercials. Hey, I saw Center Stagethis weekend, and while it was indeed the best movie ever made, it would have been so much better if the gay black dancer had been played by Forrest who, since that whole military thing didn't work out, moved to New York to pursue his dream to be an anorexic showgirlerina (tm Wing Chun).

Back in the secret lab FrankenFlash and Spike are watching the security monitors. Spike calls it Must-See-TV as we see Buffy being led down a hallway under armed guard. I'd make a joke about how NBC hasn't had Must See TV for the past few years (aside from Freaks & Geeks), but it's not nice to kick someone when they're down. Spike pages "Dr. Owe-Me-One" to remove his chip, but Adam points out that the Scooby Gang has accompanied Buffy. Adam tells Spike that he's failed him again, and Spike admits, "That's one way of looking at it." Adam wants to know what the other way is, but the dramatic music kicks in and spurs Spike to flee for his freedom. He's stopped at the door by Forrest, who grabs Spike's neck in a choke hold. Spike protests that he did try and that should count for something. Adam agrees to hold up his side of the bargain and directs Forrest to "take [Spike's] head off." Forrest pushes Spike over to the control panel and begins to choke him. Huh? Is he trying to squeeze his head off? That's not very efficient. Spike slowly raises his cigarette and burns FrankenForrest's eye until he lets him go. Spike takes this opportunity to make a run for the border, and Adam tells FrankenForrest to let Spike go because he has nowhere left to hide.

Over in another part of the Initiative, Colonel McFlabby (tm Ace) is going through the Gang's bags. "You think you and your friends can just keep waltzing into a government installation brandishing weapons like, like . . ." he trails off as he holds a large pear-shaped object aloft. Willow helpfully points out that he's holding a gourd; Giles looks sheepish and admits it's a magic gourd. Doesn't Giles and the Magic Gourdsound like a great children's book? ["Or an entertaining porno, depending on how you think of Giles." -- Sars] Colonel McFlabby calls them a bunch of freaks. Buffy, arms crossed, tells the Colonel that Adam has infiltrated the Initiative and that the crowded containment cells are a Trojan horse waiting to happen. The Colonel interrupts forcefully, "Every inch of this installation is under constant twenty-four-hour surveillance." Uh-huh. Which is why it has been so easy for the gang to infiltrate the Initiative. Willow wants to know if that also includes the secret lab. "Including everything," roars Colonel McFlabby but then quietly asks Buffy what secret lab they're talking about. She informs him that they are referring to the lab that was going to be used for the "final stage of the 314 project," but quickly realizes he doesn't know what they're talking about. The Colonel corrects her, saying, "A tick on a mouse couldn't get in without my knowing it." It's nice to know that the Initiative is safe from an infestation of vermin, but I seem to recall groups of humans getting in without the Colonel realizing it. Giles asks how they plan to destroy Adam; McFlabby, who you would think wouldn't be so willing to share his battle plan, informs the gang that they're going to shock him with all the taser guns they have. Buffy points out the flaw in this plan, mainly that Adam gains strength from voltage overloads, and reads McFlabby the riot act, saying that "you, the Initiative, the boys at the Pentagon are messing with primeval forces you have absolutely no comprehension of." "And you do?" sneers McFlabby. "I'm the Slayer, you're playing on my turf." Willow gets a little "take that" half-smile on her face at the return of Spunky Buffy. McFlabby proclaims that down in the labs they're actually on his turf, where he is in control. As soon as he utters the word "control," the hubris police step in and the lights cut out, plunging them into darkness for a moment before the emergency lights come on. A random tech whom I will call Ensign Crusher announces that the backup power isn't responding. He punches a few keys, producing no effect, and declares that they're locked out.

Back at the secret secret Initiative lab, Adam sits in front of a control station, powering down the building. On the monitors, we see him wait until two scientists enter the containment area before he unlocks the cells and announces, "This will be interesting." Not if you've got anything to do with it, buddy.

In the containment labs, red lights flash and the universal red-alert noise clangs. The doors to the cells open and the demons rush out. One of the only other female Initiative scientists that we've ever seen drops her clipboard and tries to run but is tackled by a demon. The camera focuses on her clipboard which is suddenly sprayed with blood.

Ensign Crusher tells Colonel McFlabby that all the hostiles are loose. Buffy pleads with the Colonel to just stay out of her way because she's the only one who can take care of Adam. The Colonel announces to his men that they've got to secure the armory and makes a point of telling another soldier that Buffy and the gang are under arrest. He strides out with his testosterone brigade, leaving two -- count 'em, two -- guys to guard the Slayer and her three friends. How did this dink ever achieve the rank of Colonel? As soon as the Colonel rounds the corner, Buffy quickly drop-kicks Ensign Crusher and knocks his friend unconscious. She takes the gun, and Willow quickly seats herself at another station on the control panel and starts typing frantically. Giles tells Buffy that the enjoining spell is very volatile, and to cast it they'll need a quiet place close to where she is going to be. "Quiet?" questions Xander, indicating a surveillance monitor which is showing the extreme chaos of the pit.

We're now in the pit. Flying bodies all around. A commando takes out a demon with his machine gun but doesn't see the vampire who grabs and drains him from behind. Another (female) scientist has her neck viciously snapped. Hey, how come in this episode we've seen more female scientists being killed than we've seen during the whole history of the Initiative? They're not trying to subtly manipulate us in any way, are they? In the thick of all this, the camera rests on Spike, who momentarily looks confused but then starts kicking demon ass in slow motion. Wow. I'm really enjoying this. I think we need more ass-kicking by Spike. ["Seconded!" -- Ace]

Back in the control room, Buffy asks Willow how things are coming along. Willow tells her that the computer shows air ducts and electricity running into a part of the lab that supposedly doesn't exist. Oh, COME ON -- how could everyone have missed that until now? I know I personally think large government agencies are pretty inept, but this is ridiculous. Buffy says it must be Adam, because the area in question is located directly behind room 314. She asks Willow if they can unlock it, and Willow reports that the only doors in the Initiative that are locked are the exits. Buffy says that all they have to do now is get there.

More shots of the battle being waged in the pit. Yawn. I don't care that Colonel McFlabby is getting his ass kicked.

Back in the actually secret secret Initiative labs, Adam is watching the battle on his surveillance monitor. "Fun, isn't it?" asks Buffy from the doorway. Adam turns towards her and tells her that he appreciates violence. "Good," says Buffy and runs towards him, but he knocks her out of mid-air. They fight a bit. Buffy gets pitched from one end of the room to the other. Adam extends his skewer, but before he can make a Buffy kabob, she grabs it and snaps it in two. "I broke your arm," she says saucily. "I've got another," he replies as his right arm telescopes out into a machine gun. Buffy's eyes get wide with fear. I wish she would have asked him if he comes with a vacuum attachment. At least then he would be useful in some way. Buffy takes off running, headed for the control station, but she gets stuck in some slo-mo, which I guess is why Adam's bullets can't catch up with her either. She finally reaches the control panel and vaults over to take shelter behind it.

Don't play cards with the spirits. They cheat.

Back in 314, the camera is spinning around and around while Willow asks the spirits to "bring [them] to the vessel. Take us now." We get a shot of Buffy snapping her head back and looking wide-eyed at the sky, which seems to be the international sign for possession. At that moment, FrankenFlash launches some sort of rocket thing at the control station, and as the smoke clears, Buffy rises up from behind the charred remains with a pretty dippy look on her face, not to mention ugly-ass orange costume contact lenses. FrankenFlash tells her that she "can't last much longer." "We can. We are forever," intones Buffy. As if the contact lenses aren't enough, we also get to hear a cheesy synthesizer voice composed of all the gang's voices dubbed under Buffy's own. Buffy starts chanting in what I assume is Sumerian while FrankenFlash looks puzzled. He tries to shoot Buffy with his machine gun but the bullets hit an invisible shield and disappear. "Very. Interesting," says Adam. I think I'm supposed to detect a worried tone there but, since Riley and FrankenFlash are at least related through their inability to actually ACT, I'm having to fill in the blanks myself.

In 314, a demon is pushed against the door leaning to the pit, and it nudges open a few inches. In case you forgot, this is important because the gang cannot be disturbed during the spell.

Riley and FrankenForrest are still fighting. Forrest is pretty much kicking Riley's ass, which is not surprising since he just removed a chip from his CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM. Riley gets knocked into some gas canisters, and he picks one up and starts whupping Forrest with it. Forrest beats him back until he's standing in just the right spot under the wire that Buffy ripped in two earlier, which is now sparking like mad. Forrest wrests the canister from Riley and raises it over his head to smash Riley to bits. Unfortunately, Riley high-tails it across the lab and takes shelter behind an overturned gurney. FrankenFlamer looks up and sees the word "FLAMMABLE," which is helpfully printed in bold red letters on the side of the canister, just in case Forrest blowing up didn't get that point across.

FrankenFlash still hasn't given up trying to shoot Buffy, and he launches one of his rockets at her. She raises her hand and turns it into a dove. Then she makes this wax-on, wax-off gesture and FrankenFlash's arm retracts. Insert your own "talk to the hand" joke here. They make their way towards each other and face off. Buffy is more than holding her own this time, and as she has Adam in a chokehold he forces out a "how?" but Buffy shuts him down by saying, "Never hope to grasp the source of our power." The camera flashes an overhead shot of the gang in 314 to let us know that teamwork is saving the day. Back to Buffy doing this really lame impossible kicky move that backs FrankenFlash against the wall. She then reaches back and propels her hand into FrankenFlash's stomach and pulls out his power source. "But yours is right here," says Buffy. FrankenFlash gives her a shocked look before falling to the floor. "Ding dong! The dip is dead!" I shout with glee. Buffy contemplates the uranium that she's holding in her hand as the other dip runs into the room. The uranium begins to float and then disappears in a flash of white light. I hope they dispose of that in an environmentally sound way. Riley makes his way over to Buffy, who is standing stock still and staring straight ahead. She suddenly slumps forward, which is the international sign that a possession has ended, and Riley catches her.

Back in 314, the gang does the same. "Wow, that was --" begins Willow breathlessly. She's interrupted by a demon breaking through the door, followed closely by Spike, who quickly subdues him. Spike tells the gang that they were lucky he was here, and Giles thanks him but notes, "Although your heroism is slightly muted by the fact that you were helping Adam to start a war that would kill us all." Xander chimes in with, "You probably just saved us so we wouldn't stake you right here." Spike picks up the line that Xander has so helpfully thrown him and agrees. "Did it work?" he queries as the gang gives each other "whatever" looks and exhaustedly rises to their feet. Buffy and Riley burst through the secret door, and Willow runs over to hug Buffy. "Wasn't it amazing?" she says. "You were great," says Xander. "We were great," Buffy corrects him. Oh, man. They're just making it TOO easy with this subtext. Riley reminds Buffy that there are still people in danger, and Spike pipes up with, "Let's go save 'em, by gum!" Giles gives him a look, and Buffy dispatches the gang. I hope they don't leave those candles unattended. That's dangerous, you know.

Ace tells me that the scene is a total rip-off of The X-Files, and since I don't watch that show, I'll take her word for it. A group of men sit around a table in an unidentifiable black room. A white-haired gentleman recaps the history of the Initiative as we see various shots of Buffy kicking ass, the gang helping the survivors out of the building, and Colonel McFlabby getting his just reward. White Hair recommends shutting down the Initiative and ends with, "Burn it down and salt the earth," which is really how I feel about THIS ENTIRE SEASON. Cigarette Smoking Man sits in a corner, waiting to take a check back to Chris Carter. In the memo section of the check is written, "For scenes stolen. Thanks, Joss."

week it looks like we have another dreams-go-awry episode. "But Sep," you say, "Didn't they already make that episode in the first season and call it 'Nightmares'?" Well, not really. Judging from the previews, the finale deals with the gang getting trapped in a nightmare universe, and their quest to return things to normal. "Nightmares" dealt with the gang in the real universe as they got menaced by a manifestation of their nightmares, and their quest to return things to normal. Got it?