There they are -- our girls. Our bad, bad girls. Faith and Buffy both hit the ground on their backs with men struggling above them. Not like that, though. I think they're fighting vampires. As they struggle, Faith is interrogating Buffy about something Buffy claims to have "never, ever" done. The girls toss the vampires (both strangely outfitted in chumpy matching medieval-style jerkins) off them and leap to their feet. As they fight, Faith is still skeptical, but Buffy insists, "How many times do I have to say it? I have never done it" -- she stakes her vamp -- "with Xander!" Faith finds this hard to believe, and if Twentieth Century Fox was any sort of decent company, we wouldn't be starting our recaps of the third season on episode fourteen and I wouldn't have to remind you that Faith herself had just done Xander in the episode, "The Zeppo." And because she's Buffy's evil twin, her dark side, her animus, her raging id, for some reason she can't believe Buffy hasn't screwed the butt-monkey herself. This of course also explains why Faith later set her amorous sights on Angel, but we're getting ahead of ourselves here. Which reminds me that I watched season three and really enjoyed it without being at all involved in the sort of fervid discussion of every single detail that occurs on fan sites like Mighty Big TV. When these episodes were initially aired, I loved the Faith/Buffy arc and didn't have any sort of cynical theories about glaringly obvious dark-twin storytelling, and I think that was a more innocent, happy time. Now I've tasted the poison apple of critical analysis and there's no going back. But enough about me. Heh -- not really. Oh, all right, I'll move on.
Faith, in an fugly pair of skin-tight leopard pants that aren't doing her ass any favors, can't believe Buffy hasn't slept with Xander and leers, "I mean, I'm sorry, it's just, all this sweating-nightly, side-by-side action, and you never put in for a little after-hours unhh?" punctuated by a nasty little hip-thrust. Buffy looks as squicked as I feel and repeats that no, she hasn't ever slept with Xander. That Faith -- not so bright. You gotta tell her things a time or two before they sink in. Buffy notices the footprints of a vamp that got away, and the girls walk quietly through the graveyard. Faith's pants? Not doing her thighs any favors, either. Buffy whispers, "Okay, count of three. One --" but Faith just rushes ahead, rolling over a large headstone to attack the missing vampire. Slightly exasperated, Buffy quips, "Three," and rushes to Faith's aid. The vampire, all dressed up in a silly jerkin like his dusted buddies, draws two swords. Buffy forces him to drop them, but he manages to get her pinned against a headstone. As she struggles, Faith dusts the vamp from behind. She then wants a high five, but Buffy is tetchy about Faith ruining her "Sesame Street" plan. They bicker briefly and then turn back to grab the vamp's swords to show Giles. Gasp! The swords are gone.
Mr. Trick drops the swords on the Mayor's desk, but the Mayor is engrossed in reading newspaper comics. "That PJ, he's getting to be quite a handful!' giggles the Mayor, and then turns his attention to the swords. He comments that he hasn't seen anything like them in a long time, and asks Trick if he enjoys Family Circus. Turns out Trick is a Marmaduke man himself. Allan Finch volunteers that he likes Cathy, which goes over about as well as a turd in the soup at a wedding banquet. In the ensuing judgmental silence, Finch uncomfortably asks what should be done about the swords. The Mayor refers to an important upcoming "dedication" that he doesn't want disturbed. When Finch stutters that perhaps the dedication should be postponed, the mood in the room suddenly chills. The Mayor rises menacingly from his chair and crosses the room, explaining that the dedication is "the final step" before his ascension and that he's waited a long time. He flings open the door of a cabinet, and we get a glimpse of the arcane occult objects inside. Extracting a (lemon scented?) moist towelette from a container, he wipes his hands and continues, "After the Hundred Days, I'll be on a higher plane. And I'll have no more need for...well, let's just say I won't be concerned with the little things." He hands the used towelette to a cowering Finch. The Mayor then instructs Trick to keep an eye on the sword-wielding vampires and rat them out to the Slayers if he finds any information. He hopes both groups will kill each other. "Then everyone's a winner. Everyone, of course, meaning me."
Old credits. Sigh. Sniff. Back when I was unjaded and -- gasp! Oz. Sigh. And Xander looking pretty cute and drippy wet in that Speedo-wearing episode I've never seen. Aw, Willow's hair when it was shiny and healthy and she still showed her cute widow's peak. ["Ugh. I have a widow's peak and it's the bane of my existence. I look like Eddie freakin' Munster." - Sep] ["Sep does not look a thing like Eddie Munster. Don't listen to her, people." -- Ace] Cordelia. Well, all memories can't be good. Moving on. Oz, Oz, Oz. The pre-marginalized Giles. And the much-lamented box-carrying scene from "Innocence."
Sunnydale High School. Xander, Willow, Oz, and Buffy are sitting on couches as Xander pokes through Willow's impressive stack of early-admission packets to a variety of colleges. As I watch them being all Buffy-buddy, I have to remind myself that this happens after Willow and Xander's "fluke" and the fall-out from that, if you'll excuse the pun. Isn't it nice and patient of Oz to be hanging around with Xander after that? Some banter about Xander expecting many college rejections, and giddiness from Willow about all the choices open to her. As Oz dryly suggests making sure to graduate from high school ("Gettin' left back: not the thrill ride you'd expect."), Cordelia swans into view and takes a few nasty pot shots at Xander. Oh, go get even more of a tan, lose a bunch of weight you can't afford to lose, and end up as a boring, mealy-mouthed loser on Angel's show, why don't you? Feh. Maybe Sep and I should get Strega to recap the Cordelia scenes from season three, since the nasty creature is her responsibility now. Xander gets in a good joke about Cordy marketing a line of "hooker wear," although her skirt's not as short as many we saw Buffy wear in season one. "Well, Xander, I could dress more like you, but oh, my father has a job," sneers Cordelia, and I laugh into my sleeve (just a saying. I live in Tucson, it's summer, I'm not wearing anything resembling a sleeve at this time of year) at Cordy's upcoming financial humiliation. Some more blather establishes that Buffy has to pass an upcoming chemistry test, and that she and Willow will study together that night. Buffy heads off to the library.
In the library, we get a close-up of Giles's sour, just-this-side-of-angry face as that toad Wesley simpers in the background. Ugh. Well, hey, if we can talk Strega into taking the Cordy scenes, maybe we can talk her into doing the Wesley ones as well! Oh, it would be so nice. I really never, ever want to see Wesley again, let alone recap his most insufferable, priggish moments of season three. But Strega hates him as much as I do, so I doubt we'll ever talk her into taking these scenes. Sniff. And for the record, just to get it out of the way at the start, everyone on the boards is always yawping about how much Wesley has improved in the last two seasons of Angel, but to me he seems just the same now as he did in Buffy season three. He was an awful, repellent, weaselly priss then, and he's one now too. Anyway, the nasty little toad brags to Giles, "I have, in fact, faced two vampires myself. Under controlled circumstances, of course." Giles: "Well, no danger of finding those here." Wesley: "Vampires?" Giles: "Controlled circumstances." Heh. Giles sits on one of the library tables, his back to Wesley, and rolls his head with exaggerated patience.
Buffy enters the library, and Wesley strides to greet her, simpering, "Hello!" "New Watcher?" queries the instantly suspicious Buffy, and Giles rolls his eyes and confirms. Wes extends his hand to Buffy, but she just stares until he lowers it. She sidles over to Giles and whispers, "Is he evil? The last one was evil." Wesley blithers that he's been thoroughly checked out by Giles as Buffy shoots him a look of perfect teen disgust. There's an amusing bit of physical acting as Wes leans nearer Giles and Buffy to deliver some trite phrase and they both subtly lean away from him. Buffy stares a little while longer and then asks Giles again, "Is he evil?" Oh, I love seeing people treat Wes like crap. What a happy, happy day for me! Wesley excitedly asks Buffy about the night's patrol, and she basically stonewalls him with answers of the one-word variety. She does admit, though, that one of the vampires was carrying swords, causing Wes to run and fetch a book. The sword-carrying vampire is diagnosed as one of a sect called El Eliminati, a vampire dueling cult brought to the new world by a demon called Balthazar. I don't know why I'm transcribing all this exposition. It's really not that important to the plot of the episode. Apparently, the Eliminati were driven out of Sunnydale about one hundred years ago and their demon leader was killed. Wes speculates that the minions have returned to find Balthazar's amulet, and he directs Buffy to go to a crypt and collect the amulet before the Eliminati do. Buffy chafes a little under his bossiness, and when Wes asks, "Are you not used to being given orders?" she retorts, "Whenever Giles sends me on a mission he always says 'please.' And afterwards, I get a cookie!" Snerk. And word, Buffy. There are many unpleasant things I would willingly do if the reward were a cookie. Some people fantasize about untold wealth, or fabulously attractive sex partners. Me? I'm all about the cookies. Giles smirks. As Wes girds his prissy little loins to lay down some science on Buffy, Faith stops into the library. "New Watcher?" she asks, and upon confirmation from Buffy and Giles, she snorts, "Screw that," and leaves quickly. Faith may be a bit dim, but she certainly gets points in my book for dealing with Wes in the only logical fashion: instant rejection. Buffy whines, "Now why didn't I just say that?" Uh, because you're the good little daughter and Faith is the bad little daughter, Buffy. Duh. Check out your and Faith's "compare and contrast" outfits for pointers. You're dressed up like a proper little miss on her way to Sunday school and Faith -- well, aside from the unflattering velvet pants, Faith looks coolly naughty. Buffy trots out of the library to find Faith and coax her back. Wes and Giles both pull out handkerchiefs to clean their glasses, but when Giles notices that his actions are mirroring Wesley's, he looks embarrassed.
On the school grounds, Buffy runs after Faith, calling Wesley a "dork." Faith rebels against taking orders from Wes and protests that he'll "take all the fun out of it." Buffy doesn't find killing fun, and Faith calls her a liar, insisting that killing leaves Buffy hungry for more. And while it would be great for Buffy to feel more comfortable with her destiny, I think Faith is mostly just desperately projecting her general fucked-up-ness on Buffy at this point. While Buffy looks disgusted, Faith insists (with her usual lecherous body wiggle and leering expression), "Tell me that if you don't get in a good slaying, after a while, you just start itching for some vamp to show up so you can give him a good unhh!" Buffy and Ace, in unison: "Again with the grunting. You realize I'm not comfortable with this."
Ace: Where I'm from, we have a word for girls like Faith.
Sep: Oh yeah? Tell me.
Ace: Well, it starts with an "L" and ends with an "oser."
Sep: Really. Heh. I would've thought it started with an "S" and ended with a "lut."
Ace: I would never call someone a slut! Not when calling them a loser works better, anyway.
So, Faith leaves, saying she'll let Buffy take care of the amulet-fetching assignment.
That night, Buffy enters the crypt where she's supposed to find Balthazar's amulet. She checks one stone casket but doesn't find it. Bingo! It's in the second casket, but as she reaches in to grab it, she hears voices outside the crypt. She hides in the first casket, and a bunch of the vest-wearing Eliminati enter. The leader grabs the amulet, and the vamps file out. When Buffy emerges from the casket, she's surprised by Faith, who came to back her up after all. Faith and Buffy run out of the crypt just in time to see the final vampire jump into a sewer manhole. Faith is primed to rush in after them, but Buffy wants to wait, not liking the chances of two Slayers against six vampires. Faith admits that she has no plan and then taunts Buffy, "If you don't come in after me, I might die," as she jumps into the manhole. Faith is such the Little Id. Buffy reluctantly jumps in after her.
In the library, Wes is checking over Giles's Watcher's diary and reading out loud critical things Giles had to say about Buffy when he first met her. Giles frets that Buffy should already have returned from her mission, but Wes is unconcerned.
In the sewers, Faith and Buffy are fighting the six Eliminati. Because I'm one of those crazy freaks who doesn't care if I can spot the stunt-double as long as the fighting looks good, I take a moment to enjoy a solid third-season fight, where the punches look hard, the kicks are convincing, and the action sinuous and natural rather than herky-jerky and staged. The fighting continues, and the Slayers aren't racking up many kills, I must admit. One of the vamps has Faith in a wrestler's hold, and another grabs Buffy's head and dunks her in a cistern of sewer water. She struggles frantically and then goes limp. The vamp leaves Buffy there and turns towards Faith, grinning toothily (as vampires are wont to do). Suddenly, Buffy, who has been faking, leaps up from the cistern and grabs a discarded sword. "I hate it when they drown me," she snarls, looking very heroic and pretty. She starts fighting with renewed vigor. Faith finally grows a self-preservation instinct and suggests they run, but Buffy grabs the amulet off of the vamp leader first. "Tell me you don't get off on this," crows Faith, and Buffy admits, "It didn't suck."
In the library, Wes surveys the cheap prop amulet (it looks like a Ouija board pointer spray-painted silver. Nice to see that Mrs. Henderson's kindergarten class is still masquerading as the props department) and admits it looks like the real thing. Buffy chides him for misinforming her that the vampire cult was nearly extinct, then bitches about the sewer dunking but assures Giles she's okay. Wes, who will never, ever be done annoying me, mealy-mouths, "Remember the three key words for any Slayer: preparation, preparation, preparation." "That's one word three times," deadpans Buffy. The bell rings and she leaves to take her chem test, telling Giles she wants to talk with him. Wes prisses at Buffy that he's her Watcher now and she should consult with him, blah blah, but Buffy just repeats, "We'll talk," to Giles and leaves. Wes then admonishes Giles that he isn't helping and Giles snides, "No. I feel just sick about it."
In chem class, the teacher passes out blue books as Buffy excitedly tells her night's adventures to Xander and Willow, saying, "It was like I just -- let go and became this force. I just didn't care anymore." Willow tries to empathize, but Buffy shoots her down by saying, "I don't think you can! It's kind of a Slayer thing." Nice attitude, hon. The teacher announces they have an hour to complete the test and reminds the class not to talk. Buffy, however, turns right back to Xander and Willow and starts talking again. The teacher hushes her, but as soon as her back is turned, Buffy is again running her mouth. Willow reminds Buffy that she never showed up to study for the test, and there's a little exchange where Buffy notices that Xander's eye twitches every time she says Faith's name but he denies it. Buffy is sooo being the ultra-annoying friend here. Buffy finally turns back to her test booklet, but is interrupted by Faith opening one of the classroom windows and leaning in. She then breathes on the window to fog it up and draws a little heart, impaled by a stake. Or a little heart symbolizing her unrequited love for Buffy. Depends on your orientation, I guess. Faith grins enticingly, and Buffy climbs out the window. Willow is shocked. Outside, Buffy wants to know what's going on, and Faith informs her that they're hunting vampires. I sure hope Faith has enough freedom of movement, considering that her breasts are jacked up around her neck in the outfit she's wearing.
The girls descend on a vampire nest and burst in with sunlight and a whole lot of ass-kicking power. Later, at the Bronze, the music is loud, the strobe light is blinky, and Faith and Buffy are sexing it up on the dance floor. They dance together, and with some dorky boys who seem to want in on the action. Angel enters the club and sees Buffy. He looks embarrassed and turns away, because having a soul and going to hell makes you all broody, prudish, and sexless, I guess. Buffy spots him and runs over to him. Jumping up, she clasps her legs around his waist and asks if he's leaving. Angel makes a tiny broody jealous comment about the "friends" Buffy was making on the dance floor, but she dismisses them as "boys. I like you." She touches her nose to Angel's, but he's all Mr. Serious Business and lets her down.
Ace: So, how 'bout that scene in the Bronze? I think that's the most sex Buffy got all season.
Sep: Nah. There's the "Graduation, Part II" feeding/orgasm scene. You know, with the ewer crushing!
Ace: Heh. Right, right.
Sep: You know what I don't understand -- I mean, I know Angel can't have sex, might lose his soul and all, but why is it all about his needs? Couldn't he, uh, help Buffy out a little?
Ace: Yeah, really! He could sacrifice himself for the greater good. Or if they consider that too dangerous, he could at least give Buffy massages. I bet the Slayer pulls a lot of muscles and Angel has that vampire strength. He could take a class!
Sep: [stunned silence]
Ace: What?
Sep: Oh god, I'm just picturing Angel and his furrowed brow, crammed into a little desk at some Adult Education center, carefully and ploddingly taking notes on "Sensual Massage."
Angel then leads Buffy to a sofa, where he admits that he came to discuss Balthazar. "Dead demon," quips Buffy as she snuggles up real close, which doesn't seem like sexy talk to me, especially when you're snuggling up to someone who is a dead demon. Apparently Buffy's overt affection is giving Angel that squiggly feeling in his tummy, and that squiggly feeling is bad, so he shrugs Buffy off and moves to another chair. She pouts. Angel informs Buffy that Balthazar isn't dead and is in fact inhabiting some warehouse while looking for his amulet. Angel has talked to Giles, who told him the amulet was given to -- at this moment Wes shows up. He ignores Angel, flops down on the sofa to Buffy (who pointedly moves away), and lectures her for being out of communication. Angel asks Wes where the amulet is, and Wes is surprised that someone else knows about their oh-so-secret business. Buffy, who's sporting a pretty nasty gash on her arm, reaches into Wesley's coat, grabs the amulet, and tosses it to Angel. Over Wesley's protests, Angel warns him that he's not safe carrying the amulet and that he (Angel) will take care of it. Buffy tells Angel that she'll "do some recon on Balthazar," and Wes self-righteously stutters that Balthazar is dead. Ignoring him, Angel kisses Buffy goodbye and leaves. Buffy walks away too, leaving a very confused Wes making impotent guppy faces. Buffy strides out on the dance floor and pulls Faith off. Faith points to all the boys she's leaving behind and grins, "Call me!" For some reason, I like her more in this moment than I usually do. Probably because she looks sexy, happy, and natural and isn't sporting her usual crass air of calculated "badness."
Back in the Fatty Bubelatty Factory, Fatty himself has lined up his vampire minions to give them a stern talking-to regarding the amulet. They all seem scared, and I'm wondering why they're afraid of such an extremely stationary villain; then I remember that Fatty has freaky telekinetic powers. Which he demonstrates by floating one of the minions over to him and crushing his head. Still, I think most of the vamps could just run away before Fatty B could do much damage to them. Fatty B calls over another one of the vamp minions, and this one is not just a member of the vampire hair club for men, but also the president. You think scoring with human chicks is difficult when you're follically challenged? Undead chicks are so much pickier.
Cut to the outside of the Fatty Bubelatty Factory, where Buffy and Faith are doing a little recon. They peek into the main chamber. Buffy counts around ten vamps plus Fatty B. Faith predictably wants to rush in, but Buffy thinks they should go back to the library and stock up on weapons. Faith has another idea when she catches sight of a store across the street. She breaks through the glass storefront, and the two girls stroll through the shop until Faith comes to a case containing a crossbow. Okay. Someone please explain to me what sort of store sells both preppy outdoor clothing and heavy weaponry? Only in Sunnydale. Buffy wonders if the shop has insurance, but Faith isn't concerned with that, choosing instead to explain her deep philosophical views on the nature of Slayerdom. "Want. Take. Have," she says as she breaks into another case and liberates some nunchuks. Buffy parrots back this amazingly complex mantra as she shatters a display to grab a knife. Guitars play the Nubile And Superpowerful Young Things Taking A Dark Path riff. The party is interrupted by two police officers, who order the girls to drop all the weapons. Again, proof that Faith really isn't the sharpest stake in the weapons box. Silent alarm, Faith? Perhaps you've heard of them? Buffy demurely places her knife down on the counter; Faith drops hers in a jumble and then tries to flirt with the cops with attitude cranked up to twelve.
Buffy and Faith are on their way to the station in the back seat of a police cruiser. Faith slides down in her seat and motions to Buffy that they should knock the grill out and escape. Buffy gives her a look. "We can't save the world in jail," reasons Faith, and Buffy acquiesces. The police cruiser crashes, knocking the officers unconscious. As Buffy and Faith wriggle out of their handcuffs, Buffy suggests calling an ambulance. Faith retorts, "Five people already heard the racket we've made and they're fine." Faith runs off while Buffy takes a moment to gaze indecisively at the spectacle.
The Summers home. Morning. Buffy comes through the door with the papers, hurriedly checking for any news of last night's events. Joyce comes downstairs. "Admit it," she says. Buffy gives her an "oh shit!" look. "Some days don't you just want to wake up and say 'to hell with the diet'?" continues Joyce, trying to talk Buffy into a big waffle-y brunch. Buffy declines, saying that she isn't hungry, and then lies to her mom about her activities the evening. Joyce asks about the waffles again, and Buffy offers to help make them. "No," pouts Joyce, "They only don't have calories if I make them for you." "Mom logic," she clarifies at Buffy's look. Snerk.
Snap! It's picture time with the Mayor for the local Boy Scout troop. Allan Finch shuffles them out, and then the Mayor closes the blinds so that Mr. Trick can come out of hiding. The Mayor asks for news about the Eliminati while going over to his walk-in Bad Mojo cabinet. He opens it to find one of Fatty Bubelatty's minions, who pins him over the desk, sword at his throat. Mr. Trick knocks the minion unconscious. The Mayor cracks me up by saying, "Thank you, Mr. Trick. That was very thoughtful of you." I can just see him sitting down and writing a thank-you note to a vampire. The Mayor wonders how the vamp got past security, and Allan stammers a reply, but we can't tell if it's an "I'm guilty" stammer or an "I live in abject fear of what my boss might to do me" stammer. The Mayor tells Mr. Trick to lock up the minion. Mr. Trick points out that he will just try to kill the Mayor again. "Yes. I expect he will," cheerily agrees the Mayor. Creepy.
Fatty Bubelatty Factory. Fatty B is throwing another screaming fit. We get a little Fatty back-story, but I'm not all that interested in a three-years-gone MotW. He screams at his minions to find the Slayers, grab the amulet, and kill indiscriminately.
Buffy's room. Willow and Buffy sit on Buffy's bed. Willow has made Buffy a protection charm, which she's sweetened with the smell of lavender. Way to know your target market, Will. Willow asks about the plan for tonight, but Buffy tells Willow that she's more comfortable without Willow there. Willow tries to be understanding, but she's a little put off. Faith shows up and tells B that it's "time to motor." Willow greets Faith. That bitch! No wonder Faith went all evil. Can you believe the way that two-bit red-headed witch-tramp just sat there and -- said hi to Faith. The Slayers leave, and Willow looks at her protection-spell-in-a-bag and mutters, "Stupid," under her breath. Sniff. It's sad to see Buffy shutting out her nice friends to hang out with a dim loser like Faith.
Buffy and Faith stroll down the alley. Faith is all excited about testing out her new longbow, and who can blame her? Only those naysayers who think that you shouldn't, y'know, steal stuff. All of a sudden a vampire, uh, somersaults out at them. Okay. I've put up with some lame shit on this show, but Flying Wallenda bloodsuckers is just a bit over my limit.
Back at the library, Giles and Wesley bicker some more in Giles's office. Wesley tells Giles that the way he has handled Buffy is an embarrassment to the council. Giles: "If you want to criticize my methods, fine. But you can keep your snide remarks to yourself. And while you're at it don't criticize my methods." Whoo! Go Giles. Wesley is undeterred and tells Giles that he isn't qualified to be a Watcher. I hate Wesley. Wesley insinuates that he is the more qualified person and should therefore take the reins. Shut up, Wesley. Wesley walks over to the window looking out into the library to see an army of Fatty B's minions lying in wait for them.
Alley. Faith and Buffy fight. More vamps. More fight. They round another corner, and Buffy throws a body down onto the ground, but this time it's Allan, not a vampire. Faith moves in for the kill with her stake raised. Buffy shouts, "Faith! No!" but Faith either can't or won't stop in time. Buffy pulls Faith out of the way and assesses the damage. "I didn't know," mumbles Faith, clearly upset. Buffy yells at Faith to call an ambulance and tries to comfort Allan. His hands are bloody and shaking. Buffy watches him die, an expression of abject horror on her face. Faith grabs Buffy by the arm and tells her that they've got to get going. The Slayers run off and split up. Buffy runs right into Angel. He notices her expression and grabs her hand; he takes in the blood. She jerks her hand back. Angel tells her that he was just at Fatty's warehouse and that Giles is captured. He doesn't at all mention that Wesley is captured as well. Right now I love Angel.
The alley. Faith approaches Finch's dead body. She looks confused.
Fatty Bubelatty's warehouse. Giles and Wesley are trussed up and awaiting an audience with Fatty B himself. Wesley snivels and then tells Giles to "stay calm." "Thank god you're here. I was planning to panic," snarks Giles. Hee! As much as I hate Wesley, I love the snitty Giles that he heralds. Wesley suggests trading information with the villain, and Fatty B considers it momentarily before deciding, "No! Boring! Pull off his kneecaps!"
Wesley starts blubbering that Angel has the amulet, but of course he doesn't know Angel's name so he describes him as "a tall man." (He forgot "block-headed," "craggy," and "beetle-browed.") Giles tries to convince Fatty B to let "Captain Courageous go and [he] will tell [Fatty B] everything." Fatty B screams that the only deal is whether they will die quickly or slowly: "The man who has my amulet. What. Is. His. Name?" This of course is Angel's cue to stride in all vamp-face and billowing leather coat, saying, "His name is Angel." Buffy arrives right behind him. And -- you know the drill. They fight. I would like to point out that Giles, even tied up, manages to defeat an opponent. Wesley stands there looking stupid. Fatty B waves his impotent little arms, screaming, "Unacceptable!" and looks even stupider than Wesley. Giles unties Wesley and dispatches a vamp, which gives Wesley just enough time to be restrained by another vamp and blubber, "M-m-m-mister Giles!" Shut your scone hole, Wesley. Fatty B is still screaming, "Unacceptable," over and over, and I think we've found out that Vizzini's little brother grew up to be an 800-pound Uck demon. There is some more fighting, and it's a sheer pleasure to watch because we actually get some long shots, and the camera isn't flitting around all over the place like a hummingbird on crack. This is what happens when you have talented stunt people working for you. There are some very peppy, cool wire tricks in this fight. Whee! Spinny vamp. Whee! Another spinny vamp. Fatty B finally remembers that he has telekinetic powers and pulls Angel to him. Buffy notices the lamp conveniently swinging over Fatty B's tub and quickly jerks at the wire, causing it to fall into the water. Fatty B gets all electrocuted and dies. But then he remembers that he's contractually obligated to deliver his last line and revives himself enough to wheeze, "Slayer! You think you've won. When he rises you'll wish I'd killed you all," before dying for real.
The mayor sits in the midst of a pentagram made of sand. He says some stuff in Latin; there's a small earthquake. It's your typical Saturday night in Sunnydale. The shaking stops, and Mr. Trick wants to know if it worked. The Mayor gives the caged vampire his sword back before unlocking the cage. The minion vamp doesn't waste any time in rushing across the room and cleaving the Mayor's head in two. The vamp steps back in surprise as the Mayor's head simply grows back together. The Mayor pulls out his to-do list, which contains items like "call temp agency," "meeting with PTA," and "haircut," and checks off "become invincible." BWAH!
Daytime. Faith's No-Tell Motel. Doris Day -- I mean, "Buffy" has come to talk to Faith about the other night. No, not like that, you pervs. For some reason, Buffy's wearing this awfully monochromatic gray dress and three-quarter-length coat, probably to visually differentiate her from bad-girl Faith. Her make-up is really, really overdone. I think she looked better all covered with sewer water. Buffy seems genuinely concerned, and she tries to reach out to Faith and convince her that they're in over their heads. Faith plays the tough girl, insisting that she doesn't need anyone's help. Buffy points out that eventually the police are going to find a body, and Faith snaps a little, telling her that she doesn't want to have this discussion again since she took the body and dumped it in the river, ergo problem solved. Buffy can't really believe what she's hearing . "Faith, you don't get it. You killed a man." Faith corrects her, "No. You don't get it. I. Don't. Care." Which really is the ultimate difference between Buffy and Faith.