Okay, That's Taking "Active Parenting" A Little Too Far

S03E11

Okay, after "Amends," this episode is a cakewalk. And I'd really forgotten how funny it is. Considering that the opening scene shows two dead kids, that's no mean feat. Let's get to it!

We open with a shot of Buffy patrolling in a park. Something moves in the shrubbery (now I'm already thinking of the Knights Who Say "Ni." This could be one long recap), and she pulls out a stake. Suddenly Joyce's voice calls out, "Is it a vampire?" She walks up, holding a Thermos and a paper bag. Buffy asks what she's doing there, and Joyce says she came to bring Buffy some food and to observe the slaying. Aw. Buffy says that slaying is an "alone thing," but Joyce won't be put off. Buffy switches gears, saying that it's pretty dull, when the bushes move again. A very ugly middle-aged vampire appears and rushes them. He and Buffy fight. The action is peppered with such helpful comments from Joyce as, "C'mon honey, kill him!", "He's over here!", and "oh my God, it's Mr. Sanderson from the bank!" Hee. Mr. Sanderson, bring me a dream! God, I'm even more stream-of-consciousness than usual. I should take this opportunity to write some fan-fic or something. The vamp manages to get away from Buffy, and she tells Joyce to stay put as she goes in pursuit. Joyce walks to a bench in a nearby playground area. She looks around, and with a smile picks up a toy truck that's on the ground. When she looks up, however, her smile fades. She walks forward.

Buffy's caught up with Mr. Sanderson. She quickly dusts him.

Joyce continues her slow march forward. She drops the Thermos and gapes in horror. The camera pans back to reveal a young boy and girl lying dead on the ground. We focus on the girl's open palm, which bears a green symbol that looks like a handlebar mustache over an upside-down triangle. Then again, the whole thing could be upside-down itself. Credits.

The police are now on the scene. They photograph the kids. Although there are no apparent wounds, it's still quite shocking to see. The kids look about eight. The girl has fairly long curly blonde hair, while the boy's hair is brown, in a bowl cut. The kids both look pretty German, which is a nice touch, as we'll see later. Buffy talks to a cop, then walks over and tells Joyce that they have permission to go home. Joyce, looking distraught, says that the kids were "tiny," and asks Buffy if she saw them. Buffy world-wearily says that she did. Joyce, near tears, wonders who could have done it. Buffy says she'll find the killer, but Joyce points out that even that won't make it right. Buffy agrees, and hugs her mom tenderly. She says she'll take care of everything. "Just try and calm down."

By Couch Baron

Ironic Segue Fairy cut to Buffy telling Giles, "Don't tell me to calm down!" That trick is getting a little tired. Buffy tells him how horrible a sight it was, and that her mom "can't even talk." Too bad Angel didn't see it instead. Giles says he just wants to help, and Buffy says she knows. Giles asks if it was a vampire attack, but Buffy says there weren't any marks, which jogs her memory about the symbol on the kids' hands. She moves to sketch it on a piece of parchment, but Giles yelps, "Twelfth century!" Hee. Buffy draws the symbol on a piece of paper instead and shows it to Giles, who seems pensive. He explains that use of a symbol like this usually represents a "ritual murder," an "occult sacrifice." Maybe ME used it in their character assassination of the cast. Buffy's shocked that the murderer(s) could be human: "Someone with a soul did this?" Girl, don't get me started on the soul thing. Buffy asks Giles to find a loophole in that "Slayers don't kill people" rule. I guess he found it before the end of the season, huh? Giles says Buffy has a right to be upset, but he's worried that she's taking it personally because of her mother's involvement. Buffy agrees that it's personal, but she doesn't care.

Cafeteria. Oz and Xander are to each other in the lunch line. They greet each other. Xander seems nervous, and Oz seems to be subtly enjoying it. They go to Willow's table. Amy shows up from her 51-week-a-year vacation in Wiccaland to join them. Xander compliments Amy on her new dark hair. Now now, we all know what dark hair means! She's clearly been infected by magic. Or maybe it was "addicted to" magic. Oh, wait -- they hadn't made up that drivel yet. I guess she just dyed it. Phew. Oz asks Willow where she's been all day. Xander pipes up: "Not with me! No, sir, ask anyone. No." He crashes and burns, and Oz looks on with a touch of a smile. I actually feel for Xander here -- I think Oz's imperturbable nature would be extremely intimidating in this situation. Willow smiles awkwardly at them both. Oz takes pity on Xander, mentioning that Buffy's birthday is the week. Right -- "Helpless." That one's going to be tough. Xander's relieved to have something to talk about, but Willow shushes him. He's predictably clueless, and of course Buffy appears behind him. Buffy tells them about the events of the prior evening, and they're suitably shocked. Xander wonders why Joyce was there, but Buffy explains that she picked last night to observe the slaying. Willow: "God, your mom would actually take the time to do that with you?" At Buffy's look, she continues, "That really wasn't the point of the story, was it." Heh. Buffy says the point is that her mom is "completely wigging," which is now Joyce's cue to appear behind Buffy. Hello, ME? Hackneyed Techniques is on line one -- they're suing.

The kids say hi to Joyce. She asks Buffy if she's talked to Giles about the murders yet. Buffy says that it might have been a cult, and I can't understand why she would tell Joyce even that much, but whatever. Joyce: "A cult -- like witches." Willow chokes on her drink. Hackneyed Techniques is on the phone again. They say that that was funny, so they'll let it slide. Amy just looks a little offended. Joyce says she knows they "dabble" in witchcraft, which I also find hard to believe, since she's normally about as clued in as someone who still owns a Betamax. She says that whoever did this is not cool. Wow, killing little kids isn't cool? That's some political platform. And do you think nuclear war is a no-no as well? Joyce babbles on until Buffy pulls her aside. Xander laments the fact that Joyce had to see the corpses, especially considering that she had only recently come to terms with the slaying thing. Willow's thankful that her mom is "not interested in [her] extracurricular activities. Or [her] curricular activities." Aw.

Joyce asks Buffy if her friends will help with the investigation. Buffy thinks that it's not the right place to talk about it, as she's loath to mix her school and home lives. Joyce says she feels like she has to help; she called everyone she knows to set up a vigil at City Hall. She called everyone she knows? What's she going to do with the change from that dime? She goes on that even the Mayor will be there. Well, since he works there, that's not much of a stretch. Buffy looks chagrined, and tells Joyce that in an investigation such as this, they like to keep the number of people involved small. Joyce back-pedals that there won't be all that many people.

Predictable cut to a packed City Hall. Oh, look, a fax from Hackneyed Techniques. Cease, desist, copyright, damages, blah blah blah lawsuitcakes. Everyone's holding candles, even though they're inside. What a bunch of losers. Many of them are also carrying signs with the two kids' pictures and a caption that reads, "Never Again!" Do they have one of those with Marti Noxon's picture on it? Buffy and Willow walk in, thankfully candle-less. Buffy snits about the crowd, but Willow points out that at least Buffy's mom is making an effort. "My mom's probably" -- a middle-aged red-haired woman walks up -- "standing right in front of me right this second." All right, now I'm pissed. It's such a quick succession that my "Hackneyed Techniques" joke has itself become hackneyed. I'm just going to mope for a while. Okay, I'm done.

Willow's mom greets her, and then turns to Buffy: "Hi, Bunny." Hee! Bunny the Vampire Slayer! Now I'm thinking of Monty Python And The Holy Grail again. Can you imagine if the killer rabbit were a vampire slayer? Hey, that's not nearly as fucked up an idea as Strangers With Candy, so leave me alone. By the way, I loved that show. Willow wonders what her mom is doing there, and she says she read about it in the paper. She notices that Willow's hair is short, and comments that it's a new look. Willow: "Yeah, it's just a sudden whim I had...in August." Heh. Well, at least no one bitched and moaned about it like when Keri Russell cut off her hair. Don't people have anything better to do than bitch about other people? And for those of you who are gleefully pointing out that I do an awful lot of that, I'd like to point out in turn that I can't hear you. Uh-oh. I just realized I can hear Sars, and I've left myself wide open. ["Nah, too easy." -- Sars]

Willow's mom, who we'll imminently learn is named Sheila, says she likes the haircut, then turns and greets an approaching Joyce. Giles arrives, and there's the now-stock awkwardness between him and Joyce. Sheila says to Giles that there's a rumor going around. Giles: "A rumor? About us?" Hee. Joyce flashes him a look, and he valiantly tries to recover. Sheila clarifies that the rumor is that the murderers are people who call themselves witches. Giles and Willow say that that's strange. Willow's mom starts to give a sociological explanation of why it's not that strange, but is thankfully interrupted by the start of the proceedings.

The Mayor taps the microphone. He thanks everyone for coming, and says that "it proves what a caring community Sunnydale is." He goes on that it's a good town with good people, and promises that the crime will be solved. He holds up one of the signs, and says that "Never Again!" is his pledge to the community. Yeah, if by "Never Again!" he means "never again, until I ascend and eat every last one of you." He calls Joyce up to the dais. She addresses him and says he's dead wrong. "This is not a good town. How many of us have lost someone who just disappeared? Or got skinned? Or suffered neck rupture? And how many of us have been too afraid to speak out?" I give her credit for challenging the Mayor, but again, "monsters are bad" is her platform? See my earlier comment about nuclear war. She goes on to say that silence is Sunnydale's disease, and that the town belongs to "the monsters, and the witches, and the Slayers." Buffy, Willow, and Giles look horrified that she grouped those three together -- and that she mentioned them at all, I'd imagine. Joyce charges the adults with taking Sunnydale back, and to start by finding the murderers and making them pay. Buffy's all, "Who is this woman and what has she done with my mom?"

By Couch Baron

Aerial shot of Sunnydale, still at night. We focus in on a house. Inside, we see a close-up of a skull and a candle. A hand, fingernails painted black, drops something into the skull. The camera pans left to reveal an androgynous teenager wearing black lipstick and a black hooded robe. Another hooded figure reaches down and picks up the skull, and the camera pans up to reveal Amy. She walks around the room, votive candles everywhere, and sets the skull down. Then she hands a cup full of liquid to a third hooded figure, who empties the cup into another container. It's Willow. The camera cuts up to an overhead shot of the three of them sitting on a large rug, around a large replica of the triangle/mustache symbol from earlier. The Power Of Three, people! But where's the Book of Shadows? Oh, right, wrong show.

The Goth person, whom we can now tell is male, looks in a mirror inside his locker. His name's Michael, as we'll soon learn. Some big jerk slams the door shut. He's accompanied by several members of the varsity jerk squad. Michael tells them to stop it, and Lead Jerk asks if he's going to put a spell on him. Yeah, how about one that reverses the effects of steroids? Then we'd have a fair fight. Amy, who's been to Michael the whole time, asks what Lead Jerk's problem is. He says that everyone knows Michael's into witchcraft, and that "people like him gotta learn a lesson." Several students, including Cordelia, look on worriedly. Amy: "And what about people like me?" Oh, she's such a brave little toaster. Just turn him into a rat already. You know you want to. He counters, "Get in my face and you'll find out." Rat, I'm telling you. Buffy appears, smiling brightly, and Team Jerk takes about five seconds to hightail it out of there. Ha! Amy thanks Buffy, and she and Michael leave. Whatever happened to this kid, anyway? At least Amy showed up once a season. I think I'll just call him "Plot Device" for the rest of the recap. Buffy sees Giles and approaches him, but Cordelia slides in front of him, saying that Buffy's going to have her hands full protecting the Wiccan population. She continues on a rather unseemly rant, concluding with: "If you're going to hang with them, expect badness. Because that's what you get when you hang with freaks and losers. Believe me, I know." She walks away, then turns back and sunnily says, "That was a pointed comment about me hanging with you guys." Buffy: "Yeah, I got that one." Hee. She yells that witches didn't kill the kids, but Giles pipes up that he isn't so sure. He tells Buffy that he needs some information that's in a book Willow borrowed, and to please find her.

Lounge. Buffy sees Xander and asks him if Willow's around. Xander: "How can I convince you people that it's over? You assume that because I'm here, she's here. That I somehow mysteriously know where she is." Buffy, pointing: "Those her books?" Xander: "Yeah, she's in the bathroom." Heh. He keeps bitching about people judging him. Buffy's not particularly sympathetic. Xander complains that everyone's expecting him to screw up again. Well, when you see the sun come up every day, you kind of come to expect that, too. Except in "Amends." Blech. He says that Oz is judging him, and that he "speaks volumes with his eyes." Is "Marry me, Couch Baron" in one of those volumes?

Aaron: "Marry me, Couch Baron"? That rhymes with "Marry me, Aaron."
Couch Baron: Well, you don't say, "Marry me, Aaron." You say, "Marry me, Lauren."
Aaron: Well, still.
Couch Baron: I'm sorry. Would you like me to give you props for your awesome recaps in my recap?
Aaron: Yes.
Couch Baron: I just did.

Buffy finds the book in question, but when she picks it up, she sees the handlebar/triangle symbol on a page in a spiral notebook underneath. Willow walks up, and looks slightly guilty. Buffy asks about the symbol, and Willow tries to tell her it's a doodle. Buffy calls her out that it's a "witch symbol." Willow doesn't see the big deal until Buffy tells her that the same mark was on the kids. Willow doesn't really have time to react, though, as they're interrupted by a ruckus. And yes, I can describe the ruckus, for those of you old enough to have seen The Breakfast Club. It's Snyder, telling everyone to stand back, as policemen conduct a locker search. A couple of students get escorted away. Xander: "Oh, man, it's Nazi Germany and I've got Playboys in my locker." Sars, remember you said you were going to create a "Xander is a bonehead" macro? Can I borrow it?

Snyder loudly pontificates about how great a day it is. "No pathetic whining about students' rights, just a long row of lockers and a man with a key." That sounds just like a scene from a jock-themed porn flick. Those of you who think I'm kidding, stay naïve. The gang worriedly looks on. Buffy wonders what the cops are looking for, and Amy says, "Witch stuff." You know, I really think they missed the boat by not making Amy more of a regular. She interacts pretty seamlessly with the Scoobies. Willow's startled, and Amy says they already busted her. On cue, a cop takes Amy away to Snyder's office. Willow tells Buffy that she has incriminating stuff in her locker. Xander speaks. I'm just going to say "XM," for "Xander macro." The cops open Cordy's locker, and she screeches about the expensive hairspray contained therein. Willow freaks that her locker's . She hurriedly explains to Buffy that the symbol is harmless, and that they invoked it to cast a protection spell for Buffy for her birthday, which is now broken because she knows about it. I wonder if that would have protected her from Giles in the episode. Willow begs Buffy to believe her. Snyder walks up, "witch stuff" in hand, and orders Willow to come with him. Buffy none-too-subtly takes Giles's book from Willow, and Willow and Oz follow Snyder. She looks really scared. Aw.

Cut to the library, where the police are raiding the stacks. Buffy bursts in, and Giles seethes that they're confiscating his books. Buffy says that they need the books, because something about the symbol doesn't add up. Giles rails against Snyder, who of course is right there. Is Sunnydale under a spell whereby, if you say someone's name, they magically appear? Snyder: "I love the smell of desperate librarian in the morning." Yeah, it's kind of musky, and...sorry. Inside voices. Giles tells him to get out and to take his "marauders" with him, but Snyder's not impressed. He picks up a book. "Just how is 'Blood Rites And Sacrifices' appropriate material for a public-school library?" I'm a little confused as to how it's not. I mean, if you want to cast a plague of boils on the jerk that shoved you around in gym class, are you really supposed to pay Amazon prices? Gauntlets are thrown, and Snyder cautions Giles, "Just remember, lift a finger against me and you'll have to answer to moo." I'll leave it to you to imagine Buffy's reaction. Snyder explains that it's an acronym for "Mothers Opposed to the Occult," which he calls a powerful new group. Buffy: "And who came up with that lame name?" Snyder sneers: "That would be the founder. I believe you call her 'Mom.'" Do I have to say it? ...Oh, burn!

Willow walks into her living room to find her mother examining her confiscated "witch stuff." Sheila, who I'm thinking is an academic, a sociologist, a shrink, or any combination thereof, says that she's not surprised at Willow's behavior. "Identification with mythical icons is perfectly typical of your age group. It's a classic adolescent response to the pressures of incipient adulthood." Yeah, I guess adulthood's right around the corner for me, too. Willow protests that she's not an "age group," and tells her mom that she can "do spells." Sheila thinks Willow's delusional, but Willow points out that Sheila doesn't know anything about her. "The last time we had a conversation over three minutes was about the patriarchal bias of the Mr. Rogers show." Sheila: "Well, with King Friday lording it over all the lesser puppets" -- BWA HA HA! My favorite non-regular line ever -- Willow interrupts that Sheila's not paying attention. Sheila says that Willow's behavior is a cry for discipline, and grounds her. Willow semi-freaks, and starts babbling that she's a witch and can cast spells. Her mother patronizes her. Willow goes on that she's "dating a musician," and her mother says, "Oh, Willow!" with a disgusted look. Ha! This woman's another one that needed to be on the show more often. Willow: "I worship Beelzebub!" Is she trying to join the TWoP staff? She rants on, and Sheila starts to lose patience. "Prince of Night, I summon you! Come fill me with your black naughty evil!" Hee. Sheila reiterates that Willow's grounded, and tells her she can't see her friends anymore, either: "You will not speak to Bunny Summers again." Again, hee.

By Couch Baron

Chez Summers. Joyce tells Buffy that she can't see Willow anymore, and that she "had no idea her forays into the occult had gone so far." Joyce has set up what I think is the dining room to be a makeshift office, with "Never Again" posters and buttons all over. Buffy complains that the police took Giles's books, but Joyce tells her he'll get most of them back. "M.O.O. just wants to weed out the offensive material." If only they could have taken the Season Six shooting scripts. Buffy says that they need the books to solve the murders, but Joyce firmly says that they have no place in a public school library, and that kids could get all sorts of ideas from them. "Do you understand how much that terrifies me?" First of all, I think she should be slightly more worried about sex and drugs. And, if Angel is any indication, you can find all sorts of fun occult stuff on-line, so what's the point in confiscating a few musty books? Buffy says that she's sorry Joyce is so freaked out, but that she has to let Buffy handle it. Joyce is skeptical that Buffy's slaying efforts are making a difference. I guess she didn't see "The Wish." Joyce says, "It's not your fault. You don't have a plan; you just react to things. It's bound to be kind of fruitless." Ouch. Joyce has succeeded in getting under Buffy's skin, and Buffy snits that maybe she should have lapel buttons like M.O.O does. "And maybe time that the world is getting sucked into hell, I won't be able to stop it, because the anti-hell-sucking book isn't on the approved reading list!" Ha! Joyce tries to apologize, but Buffy exits with this gem: "I have to go on one of my pointless patrols and react to some vampires, if that's all right with M.O.O." I love it when Buffy's so snarky that I don't have to be. Because I really don't enjoy being snarky myself. Aw, Sars, I'm sorry, did you snarf your [non-product-placed diet cola]? ["Ow. Well, my sinuses are nice and clear now." -- Sars] Buffy leaves, then pops back in to say, "And nice acronym, Mom!" Word. Joyce mutters to herself that she's just trying to make things better. As she walks across the room, we see the two kids, seemingly alive. The boy says that she is helping, and the girl says that there are bad people out there. They say they can't sleep, "not until you hurt them, the way they hurt us." Hey, that gives me an idea -- is there a Hammurabi's Code for horrible TV script writers? Because they've hurt me a lot, and I'd like some revenge. Then again, I don't know if I could write an episode as bad as "Grave" if I tried, so maybe I should just forget it.

Willow's computer beeps. She gets up to get it. Oz says they're linked. Willow gets busy. Ew, not like that. Since this recap is running long, I'll cut to the chase. The same two kids have turned up dead every fifty years dating back to 1649 in Germany, and witches were always blamed. The 1649 kids actually had names: Hans and Greta Strauss. Sheila busts into Willow's room and unplugs her laptop, saying she won't have Willow communicating with her "cyber-coven." Willow wonders if that means that Sheila believes her about the witchcraft. Sheila says yes, and Willow smiles. "Now all I can do is let you go with love." Scary music plays to tell us she's not kidding. Willow asks what that means, but Sheila exits and locks the door. I do like this episode a lot, but who has a bedroom door that locks from the outside? And what about the other door to Willow's bedroom that leads, you know, out of the house?Giles has a breakthrough: He remembers a theory that many regional stories have "very literal antecedents." Buffy and Xander "huh?" him, but Oz translates: "Fairy tales are real." Giles says that some demons thrive by fostering hatred and persecution among humans. Oh, those demons! Why even bother with the explanation? I mean, at this point we've seen so many demons in the Buffyverse that there's probably one that "thrives" on making left socks disappear from laundries around the world. And also, it's kind of "Day Of The Dove" from the original Star Trek. Blah blah blah Salem-witch-trial-cakes. XM. Buffy says she's going to tell her mom the truth so she can defuse the situation, but then Plot Device (who? Exactly) runs in, nose bloodied. He exposits that his dad and his dad's friends attacked him, and that they were talking about a trial down at City Hall. The gang tells Michael to stay there and hide, and they leave.

Willow hears her door unlock, and says she and Sheila have to talk. When the door opens, however, Sheila's got an angry mob in tow. She says it's time to go, and for Willow to get her coat, because it's cold out. Willow wants to know where they're going. Sheila: "I said get your coat, witch!" Willow tries to slam the door, but she can't get it closed all the way.

Chez Summers. Joyce has vigilantes -- er, "volunteers" over. Buffy and Giles bust in. Buffy says she needs to talk to Joyce alone. She starts to explain, but Joyce pulls out a cloth and puts it over Buffy's nose and mouth. Some of the "volunteers" grab Giles and do the same to him. Joyce says, "You were right. It was easy." She looks over her shoulder, and sees the kids on the stairs. The boy is holding a bottle labeled "chloroform," for the benefit of the slower members of the audience. The kids echo back and forth: "It gets even easier. But I'm still scared of the bad girls. You have to stop them. You have to make them go away forever." Buffy's conscious for this exchange -- that's what you get when you buy generic. But the kids' images go blurry, and Buffy finally passes out.

Oz and Xander burst into Willow's house, yelling her name, but of course she's gone.

City Hall. The angry mob, complete with torches, looks on. Amy, Willow, and an unconscious Buffy are tied to large wooden poles. Strewn on the floor around them are numerous books, ostensibly belonging to Giles. Willow pleads with Sheila, who says, "There's no cure but the fire." Amy desperately calls Buffy's name, to no avail.

Chez Summers. Cordelia repeatedly slaps an unconscious Giles. He finally comes to. He asks why she's there, and she tells him that her mom confiscated all her black clothes and scented candles. Good thing that didn't happen to Meghan on Felicity. She says that she came to ask Buffy to put an end to the madness, and found Giles unconscious "again. How many times have you been knocked out, anyway?" That's a good trivia question. He tells her that they have to save Buffy from Hansel and Gretel, and Cordy hopes that the brain damage happened before she hit him.

Oz and Xander run into City Hall, but are menaced by several men wearing M.O.O. buttons. Xander delivers one of my favorite little speeches: "What's with the grim? We're here to join you guys. No really, why should you guys have all the fun? We want to be part of the hate." Are they at an NRA meeting? The men don't look like they're buying. Oz: "Just so we're clear, you guys know you're nuts, right?" Definitely an NRA meeting. The men chase Xander and Oz.

Buffy comes to and sees her mom. "Mom, you don't want this!" Joyce: "Since when does it matter what I want? I wanted a normal, happy daughter. Instead, I got a Slayer." Oh, burn! And -- see what I did there? Jeez, tough crowd. Speaking of which, Sheila hands Joyce a torch. Wait, they're really going to light this big fire inside? Wouldn't they all die of smoke inhalation or lack of oxygen or something? Sigh. Okay. I know how I'll explain it. Did you ever see that episode of The Simpsons where Lucy Lawless guest-starred? She goes to a Xena convention, and Professor Frink asks her about some obscure continuity error on the show. Her response: "Whenever you see something like that, a wizard did it." He starts to ask about another error, and she's like, "Wizard!" That's what I say about the inside fire. Wizard!

Joyce and Sheila casually commiserate about what an ordeal they've been through, and say that they should "stay close, have lunch." Why not feast on the charred remains of your daughters? In aid of that idea, Joyce lights the books on fire. Amy's had enough, and says if they want a witch, she'll show them one. "Goddess Hecate, work thy will..." Buffy and me: "Uh-oh!" Amy's eyes go dark, and light circles around her. "Before thee let the unclean thing crawl!" The light surrounds her, ostensibly because her hands are tied. Her clothes fall to the ground, and the Amy-rat squeaks and runs away. Buffy: "She couldn't do us first?" Bunny the Vampire Slayer I would love. Rat the Vampire Slayer? Not so much. The crowd is aghast. Willow seizes the moment, threatening to use her powers on the crowd. Buffy: "Yes! You will all be turned into vermin! And some of you will be fish! Yeah, you in the back, you'll be fish!" Hee. Hope they become land sharks. The crowd's scared, and a random man opines that they should go. The kids appear again, saying that the adults promised to kill the bad girls.

Giles and Cordy drive to City Hall. They exposit that they picked up ingredients for a potion from Giles's apartment, and he instructs Cordy in how to prepare it. He recites some German to himself, and explains that he's trying to remember an incantation about "lifting a veil," which will make demons appear in their true form, and "negate their influence." That's an opening for me to point out a problem with this episode: How did the demon's influence work, exactly? I could buy that it only had power over adults, but why wasn't Giles affected? He instructs Cordy to drop a "toadstone" into the mixture. She sniffs it, and remarks that it doesn't look like a toad. Giles: "No reason it should. It's from inside the toad." Cordy resignedly seethes, "I hate you." Hee. These two needed more scenes together. Of course, that applied to Cordy and just about everyone.

Oz and Xander look for a way to the inside of City Hall, and hear Willow yell for help. Oz punches in an air duct, and he and Xander climb in. You know, Xander was looking pretty trim back then.

The fire burns. Buffy tries to point out to her mom that dead people are talking to her, but she's not budging. Joyce says she has to punish Buffy for messing with "unnatural forces." If it weren't a classic episode, I would have thought she was talking about Freddie Prinze Jr.

Giles and Cordy enter City Hall. He tries to open the door to the main hall, but it's locked. He grabs a bobby pin out of Cordy's hair. She whines. He works on the lock. Cordy: "God, you really were the little youthful offender, weren't you? You must just look back on that and cringe." Ha! See what I mean? I love her.

The fire's lapping at Buffy and Willow's feet now. Well, Buffy, here's your chance to get the fire back. Willow says it's too hot for her to take, and Buffy apologizes in a voice that indicates she thinks they're about to die. She starts another sentence, but trails off as she sees Giles and Cordy stealthily enter. Giles motions to the fire extinguisher, and Cordy shields her eyes and puts an elbow through the glass. The noise alerts the adults to their presence, and they try to rush them, but Cordy turns on the hose and fends them off with the water as Giles recites the German incantation. Buffy yells to Cordy to put out the fire, which she does, soaking everyone but herself and Giles in the process.

Quick shot of Oz and Xander crawling through the air ducts.

Cordy turns off the water, and the kids walk forward. Giles finishes the incantation, and throws the potion at their feet. The bottle shatters, and smoke rises from it. The kids' hair goes weirdly iridescent as they look at each other. They embrace, then morph into a large brown-skinned demon with Vulcan ears, red eyes, and huge teeth. It's not a pretty sight. I'm talking Joan Rivers after three packs of cigarettes and a bottle of Jack Daniels not a pretty sight, you know what I'm saying? Cordy: "Okay, I think I like the two little ones more than the one big one." Hee. I'm just waiting for him to croak, "Station." And don't even try to tell me you haven't seen Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey. ["'Reaping burns a lot of calories.'" -- Sars] Joyce is terrified. The demon growls, "Protect us! Kill the bad girls!" Buffy points out that his cover's blown, and struggles against the wooden pole as the demon rushes her. The pole breaks, and she leans over. After a sickening noise, she asks, "Did I get it?" A wider camera shot reveals that the splintered pole went straight through the demon's neck. This clunky moment is thankfully livened up when Oz and Xander fall out of the ceiling, landing on wet books. Xander winces in pain, and Oz explains, "We're here to save you." Hee.

By Couch Baron

Oz and Xander look for a way to the inside of City Hall, and hear Willow yell for help. Oz punches in an air duct, and he and Xander climb in. You know, Xander was looking pretty trim back then.

By Couch Baron

Quick shot of Oz and Xander crawling through the air ducts.

Willow's house. She and Buffy have "magic stuff" laid out on the floor of her room. Buffy asks if Sheila minds that they're doing this, and Willow says Sheila doesn't know about it. "She's doing that selective-memory thing your mom used to be so good at." Buffy: "She forgot everything?" Willow: "No. She remembered the part where I said I was dating a musician." Heh. Buffy asks if they should try the spell again, and Willow says she thinks they'll get it right this time. Buffy lights a mixture of herbs. Willow: "Diana, Hecate, I hereby license thee to depart. Goddess of creatures great and small, I conjure you to withdraw." Crickets chirp. Amy-rat squeaks. Buffy: "Maybe we should get her one of those wheel thingies." Jane Espenson, you can do my throwaway episodes any time. Well, except for Season Six.