Okay, I admit it: I'm psyched to recap this episode. Partly because David Greenwalt doesn't suck, but mostly because I love Faith. I love her when she's wild, I love her when she's crazy, I love her when she gets in Buffy's face, and I love her when she steals Buffy's body. So help me, I even love her when Angel helps redeem her. I don't love her when she's killing innocent people, but nobody's perfect, right? You think I have a problem? Who asked you, anyway?
Preview for tonight's episode, then for the episode of Felicity where Ben sleeps in her room. Oh wow, that was the one where her tape to Sally got played in front of the entire party. That had to be one of the most embarrassing moments in television history.
No previouslys this week. The camera pans sideways in front of the steps to Sunnydale High, coming to rest on two pairs of feet, one rocking back and forth. Moving up, we see that the rocker is Willow and the stationary one is Oz. Willow explains that she's "giddy" because, as seniors, they're allowed to go off campus for lunch. She waxes philosophical about it being a "senior moment [heh], one that has to be savored." During this speech, Oz surreptitiously looks back to see Xander and Cordelia approaching. As Willow prattles on, Oz nods slightly to Xander, and they grab Willow under each arm and force her to walk forward. It becomes evident that she was afraid to go through with leaving campus: "What if they change the rule without telling us? What if they're lying in wait -- to arrest me, and throw me in detention, and mar my unblemished record?" Hee. I've said it before: Willow's academic insecurities are endearing. You know, back when she was a character and not a caricature. Thank you, thank you. I be here all ze week.
Willow calms down and basks in the moment. They spy Buffy on the lawn, laying out a picnic. So they're only going fifty feet off campus? Baby steps, I guess. Willow suggests that they shouldn't be too "couply" around Buffy, and I'm amazed at how David Greenwalt has already managed to make Willow sympathetic again after the disaster of "Dead Man's Party." Oz prompts them: "Prepare to uncouple. Uncouple." Aw, that was so cute. I did vomit, but that was a Pavlovian reaction. They successfully detach and go to join Buffy. Cordy wonders when Buffy went "all Martha Stewart," but Buffy explains that she has time on her hands until her meeting with Principal Snyder the day. Willow excitedly points out "Scott Hope at eleven o'clock." She starts a babble-fest wherein she explains that Scott has been interested in Buffy for a while, and though Buffy wasn't ready then, she might be now, "to make conversation, or to do that thing with your mouth that boys like." Ha! Buffy looks horrified, and Willow spastically explains that she meant "that little half-smile thing," before giving up and looking reproachfully at Oz: "You're supposed to stop me when I do that." Oz: "I like it when you do that." The Gay Men/Straight Women World Coalition just swooned. We get a good look at Scott, played by Fab Filippo, who greets Buffy. He's pretty cute. He's also, in my opinion, completely gay. More on that later. After he leaves, Willow spazzes, "I think that went very well. Don't you think that went very well?" Stop it, Willow! You're making me like you! Cordy chimes in, "He didn't try to slit our throats or anything. It's progress." Heh. I can just picture a deleted scene from "Innocence" where Cordy tells Buffy, "Someday, we'll look back on this and laugh." I crack myself up. Willow: "Did you do that little half-smile thing?" Hee. I'm sorry for all the dialogue, but I really like this scene. And by the way, she totally did the half-smile thing. Buffy's not sure if she's ready for dating, but her friends are definitely keeping Hope alive. Thank you, thank you. See above.
Night. A stretch job pulls up to a drive-through window. The driver, in a sexy voice, orders a diet soda. As he waits, we see that it's the fabulous K. Todd Freeman, dressed in a snazzy dark suit. He gives a speech about Sunnydale's death rate, and opines that "we could fit right in here." The passenger has been completely in shadow, but now shifts a bit to reveal that his hands are cloven. He reminds Mr. Trick, since we all know that's who it is, that they're in Sunnydale for only one thing. Trick knows their job -- "kill the Slayer" -- but also wants to keep the big picture in mind. This is a nice bit of misdirection, even though now we all know that he's talking about Faith and not Buffy. Mr. Trick gets his soda. Cloven Guy growls on, "The Slayer. I'm going to rip her spine from her body, and I'm going to eat her heart, and suck the marrow from her bones." Oh, do go on. What fabulous things do you have planned for her hair? Her eyeballs? Her toenails? Mr. Trick: "Now I'm hungry." He vamps out and grabs the window guy, and drives off while drinking him while Window Guy's legs flail out the window. Credits.
The Bronze. Buffy and Angel slow-dance in each other's arms. He's not wearing black, so you know it's a dream sequence. Third Eye Blind's "The Background" plays in the background. See what they did there? Buffy tells Angel that she misses him. In a quick, lovely shot, we see that Oz, Willow, Cordy, and Xander are staring at them, entranced. The intensity of their expressions makes it one of my favorite throwaway moments. Buffy and Angel touch hands, and we see both of their claddagh rings. Buffy's slips off her finger and falls to the ground. She looks a bit stricken. Angel picks the ring up, then stands to stare accusingly at her. She flashes back to killing him. The gang is still staring. The music has changed from Third Eye Blind to nine kinds of creepy. Buffy, her voice breaking, tells Angel that she had to. He crushes her ring in his hand, which starts streaming blood. He grits out, "I loved you," as blood starts to stain his white shirt from the spot where Buffy stabbed him. She starts forward, but he yells, "Go to hell!" Quick cut to Buffy, then back to Angel, whose face has gone all veiny and dark green: "I did." David Boreanaz displayed more emotion in that scene than in the whole of Season One.
Buffy wakes up. She opens the nightstand drawer and takes out her claddagh ring. Joyce knocks and interrupts her reverie, brightly asking, "Are you ready to face the beast?" Cut to said beast, as Principal Snyder outlines the terms for Buffy's readmission to Sunnydale High. She has to take a make-up test for the classes she missed, get a letter of recommendation from a teacher that is "not an English librarian," and complete an interview with the school psychologist to make sure her "violent tendencies" are under control. As he says that, he grabs a letter opener that Buffy's been fidgeting with away from her. Heh. Joyce calls him on his snotty attitude, and Snyder is forced to admit that he's required to educate Buffy. Buffy sasses him for getting overruled by the school board. Joyce stands and says that what Buffy's trying to say is, "Nah nah nah nah nah." That would have been funnier if she made a face and said "NYAH NYAH NYAH NYAH NYAH!" But still, ha! Joyce is likable again, too. Thank you, David Greenwalt. Snyder is not pleased, and is then informed that he has a call from the Mayor. He looks surprised and scared. I love Mayor foreshadowing.
Willow and Buffy walk into the library. They chat about Giles, and Willow asks Buffy if she's noticed that, when Giles is mad, he makes a "weird cluck-cluck noise with his tongue." Cue Giles to stand up from doing something behind the counter. Hee. Willow tries to play it cool, and Giles just ignores her. Giles starts to bring up Acathla, but Buffy wants to play: "Giles, contain yourself. Yes, I'm back in school, but you know how it embarrasses me when you gush, so let's skip all that and get straight to work." Hee. Giles says it goes without saying how happy he is, but he realizes that "you enjoy making me say it." I love making British people admit their feelings. It's hours of fun. Giles explains that he's working on a binding spell for Acathla, and needs details about the fight. Buffy's casual about it until he mentions Angel's name. Her tone darkens just a bit. She gets through his questions, however, and rushes off to take a make-up test. Willow starts talking about magic, and Giles seems chagrined. Willow asks if he's mad at her, and he says no: "If I were, I would be making a strange clucking sound with my tongue." Ha! Willow smiles abashedly.
The Bronze. Oz and Willow are kissing. Buffy comes back from getting drinks for them. She's very happy because she passed her test. Scott comes up, and Willow in a too-loud, overeager voice asks him what he's doing there. Scott: "You told me if I came after eight I could run into Buffy." Willow looks chastened, and Oz looks amused. Scott explains that he doesn't like to lie. Yawn. He's about as interesting as herbal tea. Scott asks Buffy to dance, but she turns him down. He offers to hang out by the dance floor in case she changes her mind. You know, when I first saw this season, I thought there was something off about Scott. And now I realize, as I mentioned before, that the way he's played seems totally gay. He's almost as fey as my first boyfriend, and if you knew him, you'd know that that's saying a lot. And the fact that Fab Filippo is making a home for himself on Queer as Folk isn't doing anything to change my opinion. Check out his scenes with Randy Harrison -- they've got about a million times more chemistry than he does with SMG.
Anyway, when he leaves, Willow and Oz are all pro-Hope, but Buffy still thinks she's not ready. Cordy and Xander join them. Cordy: "Check out Slut-o-Rama and her Disco Dave. What was the last thing that guy danced to, K.C. and the Sunshine Band?" Okay. First of all, Faith's outfit may be slutty, but it's nothing compared to some of the bare-midriff push-up numbers you've been sporting on Angel lately, so just back off, Cordy. But she's got a point about the guy; he's the worst dancer this side of Elaine Benes. It looks like someone set a stun gun to "L.A.P.D." and stuck it where the Sunshine Band don't shine, if you know what I mean, and I think you do. As Faith and Disco Boy leave, Buffy figures it out: "I don't think that guy thrives on sunshine." I like the consistent theme of identifying vampires by their outdated ensembles, as also seen in "Welcome to the Hellmouth" and "Who Are You." Buffy goes to leave, but is stopped by Scott, who thinks she's changed her mind about dancing. And he totally gives away his Canadian roots by pronouncing the word "sorry" the Canadian way. Buffy awkwardly blows him off again.
The gang convenes outside The Bronze, and they hear a noise. They rush over as Disco Vamp tries to bite Faith, but she starts beating the crap out of him. She takes the time to introduce herself brightly. She already knows Buffy's identity. After some more fighting, she grabs Buffy's stake: "Can I borrow that?" She dusts the vamp, hands the stake back to Buffy as she walks off, and says, "Thanks, B. Couldn't have done it without you." I love her. Did I mention that? Buffy looks perturbed.
Faith is holding court at the Bronze in front of the gang. She's relating a war story in which she was naked. Xander is practically drooling. Then she switches gears and asks Buffy, "Isn't it crazy how slaying just always makes you hungry and horny?" The gang slowly and hilariously turns to look at Buffy. She's not telling: "Well, sometimes I crave a non-fat yogurt afterwards." Yeah, it seemed like one non-fat yogurt a day was all SMG was eating in the fourth season. I call it a toss-up between her and Katie Holmes as to who had the sharper collarbones. Sars? ["I think Gellar takes that one easily, but if it's a sharper hipbones contest, it's a lot closer." -- Sars] Cordy, apropos of nothing, says, "I get it," and then adds, "Not the horny thing. Yuck." She explains that she understands Faith was called after Kendra -- who had been called when Buffy briefly died in "Prophecy Girl" -- was killed. Thanks, Cordy. How much is the Exposition Fairy paying you to sit in for her this week? Willow comes up with the first intelligent question, which is why is Faith in Sunnydale, but Faith explains that her Watcher went on a retreat in England, so she came to meet Buffy and "compare notes." She asks Buffy about the time she used the rocket launcher in "Innocence," but Xander interrupts to ask Faith for another story. She obliges, and Xander wonders if she was naked in this one, too. Cordy to Xander: "Find a new theme." Seriously, dude -- your girlfriend's right there, and she could kick your ass. I'd like to see that, too. Remember when Harmony slapped Xander? Good times. Faith asks Buffy about her toughest kill, and we get yet another look at Angel's dopey mug as Buffy stabs him. She hems and haws, but her friends are more interested in Faith anyway. Oz wonders what Faith's position on werewolves is. Faith: "As long as you don't go scratching on me or humping my leg, we're five by five." We have our first use of "five by five," folks. If you don't know what it means, check out the show FAQ. Faith is looking forward to hanging out with Buffy "Watcherless and fancy-free." Buffy repeats, "Watcherless?" Faith, puzzledly: "Didn't yours go to England too?"
Cut to the library, where Giles is explaining about the retreat: "It's a great honor to be invited -- or so I'm told." Wait, he's never been invited? He's English! And how many Watchers can there be? Still, I can overlook these points, because bitter Giles is hilarious. Faith thinks the retreat is too stuffy for Giles. She butters him up: "If I'd known they came that young and cute I would have requested a transfer." Can I get that transfer? Wait, what do you mean Ace and Sars are ahead of me? Oh, the perks of seniority. Giles is flattered, but directs their attention to work, mentioning that a couple of locals have disappeared recently. Buffy is up for patrolling, but after dinner with Joyce. Willow pointedly raises her eyebrows, and Buffy reluctantly takes the cue to invite Faith to dinner. Faith accepts. Willow asks Buffy if she's got another make-up test. The answer is yes, and Buffy starts to ask for help studying, but Willow is too busy being excited at the prospect of hanging out with Faith until Buffy's test is over. See, I like this vibe. Faith was cool, everyone liked her, it was all good. Then she plunged her stake in the wrong guy, and it all went to hell. Wow. That came out so much naughtier than I intended. Everyone but Buffy and Giles leaves. Giles thinks Faith has "zest," but at Buffy's glower, he changes the subject to the binding spell. He asks more questions about the fight, but after a little of this, Buffy's had enough. "Giles, look, I've got make-up tests to pass, missing people in Sunset Ridge, and a 'zesty' new Slayer to feed. time I kill Angel, I'll video it." Hee. She leaves.
Xander and Willow are showing Faith different spots in the school where they faced evil. Faith is totally into the two of them, and asks them if Buffy's a little uptight, saying she needs to "find the fun" a little bit. Faith goes to the water fountain, and bumps into Scott. They recognize each other from the Bronze, and start to chat. Buffy comes down the stairs with the news that she's passed another test, but the gang's checking out Faith and Scott. Cordy: "Does anyone believe that is her actual hair color?" Pot, have you met kettle? She stalks off. Willow thinks that maybe Faith and Scott would make a good couple. I think that Faith likes her men straight, but what do I know? Buffy babbles that she hadn't said no to Scott for all time, and rambles on until she notices Xander's and Willow's pitying gaze. Buffy: "Why am I getting a look?" Willow interrupts: "You really do need to find the fun, B." Buffy stares at her. "...uffy." BWA HA HA! That could easily be my favorite Willow line ever. Buffy grabs Faith away from Scott and heads off.
We see Cloven Guy, who's ugly as sin, in decent light for the first time, asking Mr. Trick for an update. Trick technobabbles for a while until Cloven Guy brings him to the subject of the Slayer. Trick mentions that Sunnydale already has a Slayer, which makes it definite that they're after Faith, in case you weren't following. Cloven Guy gets up, and we see that his right eye is damaged beyond repair. "I don't care if there are a hundred Slayers! I'll kill them all!" Good luck with that, dude. Trick outlines a plan to find Faith, and then kills a pizza delivery guy who shows up at the door with a pizza for them.
Chez Summers. Joyce is chatting Faith up. Faith tells Joyce she loves slaying, and Joyce wants to know why. Faith feels like she knows she's going to win when she's fighting, and when Buffy expresses a contrary opinion, Faith says, "I don't let that kind of negative thinking in." Joyce is down with that, and with Faith in general. She also thinks Buffy "can be very negative sometimes." Wow. You really think so? Joyce goes to the kitchen, and Buffy follows her. Buffy snits about Faith, and presciently says she's getting "Single White Femaled." Joyce: "It's probably a good thing you were an only child." Ha! And also, "were." Sigh. Curse you, shiny-haired ball of energy! Buffy says she doesn't want to share her life, but Joyce would be glad to see her share the slaying, or even give it up to Faith. Buffy lets it slip that Faith being called was a result of Buffy's having died, and Joyce isn't pleased, but it's just because "I don't want you to die." Aw. Buffy says she's got help now.
Buffy and Faith patrol. They snit about how to do it, and Faith expresses her belief that Buffy's uptight, thinking aloud that "something in your bottle needs uncorking." Hee. You know, I've already said I love Faith, but here's more on why. I know a lot of people don't like Buffy. I am not one of those people. However, I think Faith was a brilliant counterpoint to a lot of the less endearing facets of Buffy's personality. Even though Season Three had several crappy stand-alone episodes, it's my favorite season, because I think that between Faith and the Mayor the whole was much greater than the sum of its parts. Plus, I think the mood of the show achieved a good balance between the teenage airheadedness of the first season and a half and the über-angst of the second half of Season Two. What, Sars? You said to stop pontificating and get back to the recap? Okay, okay.
Faith mentions Angel, and Buffy gets in her face. Faith: "What are you getting so strung up for, B?" Buffy: "Why are your lips still moving, F?" BWA HA HA! That's on my short list for best Buffy line ever. They're almost ready to fight, and that's always a treat, but they're rudely set upon by a few vampires. Buffy stakes one, and then the fight begins in earnest. Faith gets punched. "My dead mother hits harder than that!" She knocks him down, grabs him by the collar, and starts beating the crap out of him. Buffy tries to get her attention, but a couple other vamps tackle her. She desperately tries to reach a plank in front of her. A vamp snarls, "For Kakistos we live. For Kakistos you'll die!" Buffy yells, "Faith!" as Faith continues to punch away. Commercials.
Friends. Monica commits statutory rape. Yawn.
Buffy reaches the plank and clocks the vamps, then dusts one as the other ostensibly flees. Faith is still hitting her vamp: "You! Can't! Touch! Me!" Buffy tosses her aside, stakes the vamp, then asks Faith what her major malfunction is. Faith plays dumb. Buffy thinks Faith likes the violence a little too much, which is another comment we could take as eerily prescient. Faith just walks off, and Buffy looks exasperated.
Buffy and Giles in the hall at school, discussing the night. Buffy: "Girl's not playing with a full deck, Giles. She has almost no deck. She has a three." Heh. Just wait until later in the season. Giles thinks Buffy's overreacting. Buffy concedes that she's sensitive to Faith horning in on her life, but still thinks she's out of control. Giles says he'll contact Faith's Watcher, then goes into a reverie about the retreat, which he snaps out of at a bored look from Buffy. He asks about the vamps, and Buffy mentions that one of them said something about living for "kissing toast" or "taquitos." Excuse me a minute -- I think I'll order some Mexican food. Okay, I'm back. Giles thinks she means "Kakistos," and rushes into the library. Buffy: "Is that bad?"
Giles explains that "Kakistos" is Greek for "the worst of the worst." Maybe that's how I'll start referring to Marti Noxon. He goes on to say that it's also the name of a vampire so old that his hands and feet are cloven. Buffy surmises that there's a connection between Kakistos and Faith, and rushes off to talk to her. She bumps into Scott. He starts to talk about how he wants to be a part of Buffy's life, and his wrists are twirling more than all the windmills in Holland. He thinks it begins with "conversation." I thought it usually began with way too much beer and the back seat of a car, but I'm old-school. Or maybe that's only for the kids who are actually sexually attracted to each other. He invites her to the Buster Keaton film festival. Buffy smiles. "You know, come to think of it, I don't think I've given a fair chance to -- Buster Keaton. I like what I've seen of him so far. I think it might be time to see a little more." I'm glad she's really talking about Scott, because Buffy being familiar with Buster Keaton seems about as likely as me being familiar with the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. Scott smiles, and busts (get it?) out one of the all-time worst lines in television history: "Keaton is key." Groan. He then gives her a box, the contents of which he says "represent friendship, and that is something which I would very much like to have with you." G-A-Y. It's not just a dance club in London. Although that is where I met my boyfriend, so it's high on my list. Buffy opens the box to find a claddagh anvil, which she drops in a panic. She goes to pieces, and Scott leaves as Giles walks up. Giles is concerned for her, but Buffy changes the subject and asks if Giles reached Faith's Watcher. Giles: "Her Watcher's dead." Ruh-roh!
Fleabag motel. Faith is charming the doltish manager into letting her slide on the cost of the room until the day. Buffy turns up as he leaves, and brings up Kakistos. Faith is alarmed, and gets more so when Buffy tells her he's in town. Faith starts packing. Buffy tries to get her to talk, but she's almost out the door. "You don't know me, you don't know what I've been through! I'll take care of this, all right?" Buffy: "Like you took care of your Watcher?" Ouchamagoucha. Faith stops dead in her tracks. Buffy continues, "He killed her, didn't he?" Faith: "They don't have a word for what he did to her." Yeah, I guess "impaled by cloven hoof" can't really be summed up in one word. There's a knock at the door, and Faith sees through the peephole that it's the hapless manager. Buffy tries to get Faith to stay, but she's having none of it. She opens the door to find that the manager's actually dead and being held by Kakistos, who smiles and growls, "Faith." He's not alone. Oh dear.
Kakistos grabs Faith by the throat, but Buffy knocks his arm away and locks the door. Faith is nine kinds of panicked, but Buffy grabs her and they head out the bathroom window. They run, then hide in an abandoned building. Faith, on the verge of tears, spills the story that she saw Kakistos kill her Watcher, and she tried to stop him, but he was too strong and she ran. Buffy assures her that she did the right thing: "First rule of slaying, don't die." It's too bad she didn't fill her in on the second rule of slaying, to wit: "Don't turn evil and start working with aspiring demons to try to kill your friends." Maybe that's more of an unwritten rule. Oh, and by the way, props to Eliza Dushku for the last part of this episode; it's one of the very few times she got to play Faith as vulnerable, and I think she pretty much knocked it out of the park. Buffy thinks that the two of them can take Kakistos, but Faith resumes her freak-out-fest when she sees the two drained corpses of Pizza Delivery Guy and Drive-Through Window Guy on the floor. They realize that they've been chased to Kakistos's lair, and are quickly set upon by the vamps. Buffy fights a couple of henchvamps, but Faith is frozen by Kakistos's slow approach. Buffy yells, "Faith! Don't die." She throws Faith a crowbar, but Faith is too frightened to fight effectively. Kakistos grabs her, but instead of killing her, he just starts pummeling her. At this point I want Buffy to say, "Your overconfidence is your weakness," so Kakistos could say, "Your friend Faith is yours." Hee. These recaps just write themselves sometimes. Buffy dusts one henchvamp and stuns another, and rushes to Faith's aid. Mr. Trick arrives on the scene, and says to the henchvamp that's just recovered from Buffy's attack, "If we don't do something the Master could get killed." He continues, "Well, our prayers are with him." Marry me, Mr. Trick. I know we can't have kids, but maybe Darla could surrogate for us. The henchvamp is no fool, and she follows Mr. Trick out.
Buffy's doing well with Kakistos, and manages to drive a stake into his heart area. His torso is so thick, however, that the stake doesn't reach his heart. He knocks Buffy away and crows, "I guess you need a bigger stake, Slayer!" He dies laughing. Well, actually, he laughs, and then Faith picks up a large pointed crossbeam and drives it through him, and then he dies. That's what you get for giving a Slayer bright ideas. The girls are out of breath, and Buffy asks Faith is she's hungry. "Starved." They leave, and the audience speculates as to how they're going to satisfy the other part of the equation. Or maybe I just have a filthy mind.
Library. Giles announces to Buffy and Willow that the Council has agreed to let Faith stay in Sunnydale indefinitely. Buffy marvels at how Faith got through her issues, and then turns the spotlight on herself by explaining that Angel's soul was restored when she killed him. I can't really do justice to the cross-current of emotions between the actors in this scene, but they were all phenomenal. Buffy looks relieved to have told them, and hopes that the information will help with the binding spell. She leaves. The Tinkly Piano Of Buffy And Angel's Misery is playing, and I'm right back in "Becoming Part 2." Sniff. Willow sincerely asks to help Giles with the binding spell. Giles: "There is no spell." Oh. My. God. Willow, probably thinking back to how she acted in "Dead Man's Party," looks indescribably sad and gobsmacked, and I know how she feels. I freely admit that I did not see that coming the first time I saw this episode. Marry me, Giles.
Ace: What do you mean, "Marry me, Giles"? You're marrying Mr. Trick!
Couch Baron: That was just a figure of speech. I really mean it with Giles.
Ace: But you have a boyfriend!
Couch Baron: Well, so do you!
Sars: Sorry, kids, but if anyone's marrying Giles around here, it's me. After all, who's the boss around here?
Ace and Couch Baron, to each other: Can you believe her?
Buffy accosts Scott. She explains that there was someone in her past, and that the ring confused her, but she'd like to get to know Scott better, and to go to the film festival. Scott does the gayest hand gesture this side of Smallville as he says he'll think about it. He walks away, then does a runway twirl back to say that he's thought about it and he's in. Buffy says she's free after that night.
The mansion. The Tinkly Piano plays again. Buffy walks in and hesitantly lays her claddagh ring on the floor, saying, "Goodbye." She slowly walks out. We see a close-up of the ring as Buffy leaves and the light fades. Then a bright light emanates from the ring, and in a flash a naked, sweaty, twitching figure falls to the ground. The crack of his ass is totally visible. As creepy music plays, we see that it's Angel. Well, at least Strega didn't have to see that.