Lie To Me

Night, in a playground. A carousel spins, and swings squeak creepily. The scene is bathed in a dim fluorescent light, and I'm already more scared than I have been since "Hush." A boy of about eight waits by some monkey bars, urging his mother out loud to show up. The camera spins to show Drusilla approaching him from behind. She asks if he's lost, and if he'd like her to walk him home. He declines. She says her mother used to sing her to sleep, and recites the "run and catch" speech for the first time. Unlike some of the other times, it actually has a creepy significance here. In the same singsong, she asks what his mother will sing when they find his body. Not processing that, the boy tells Dru that he's not supposed to talk to people. Dru starts to snarl that she's not a person, but a figure steps between them. Angel tells the boy to run home, and the boy complies. Angel turns to face Dru, who greets him as "my Angel." He impassively greets her by name. She asks him if he remembers the aforementioned song her mother used to sing. He says he does, but he probably should have said so with more feeling, as it might have prevented the refresher course he gets in "What's My Line? Part Two." Angel tells her to take Spike and leave Sunnydale. Dru: "Or you'll hurt me?" He lowers his head in shame, and she gloats that he can't hurt her anymore. Just wait until "Redefinition," lady. He was almost my hero, trying to take you and Darla out in one shot. His failure has given me a permanent dislike for hydrants. Whoa, sorry. Angel continues that if she doesn't leave, things will go badly for "all of us." Dru laments that her "dear boy" has gone away, "to her." Angel "plays" dumb, but Dru clarifies that she means the Slayer. Speaking of whom, we see Buffy walking on a nearby rooftop. Dru continues that his heart "stinks of her" as she rubs his chest. She goes on that Buffy has no idea what's in store, and she sure got that one right. Buffy, coming to the edge of the rooftop, sees Angel and Dru standing very close. Angel says that "it's gotta end." Dru counters that it's only the beginning. She disengages and slowly walks away. After a beat, Angel does the same. The way the shot is framed gives what I'm certain was a purposeful feel of two emissaries having just discussed terms for war. Buffy sees it all and looks stricken. She leaves. Credits.

School. Coming down the indoor stairs, Miss Calendar is telling Giles that it's a secret. What is it, you ask? The activity she has planned for their date. Giles whinges, and tries to point out that he won't know what to wear. Miss Calendar, looking at his suit, asks if he owns anything else. Giles: "Well, not as such, no." Miss Calendar: 1. Giles: 0. Couch Baron: Jealous. He reluctantly agrees, and she flirts a bit and confirms the date for the evening. Buffy appears as Miss Calendar leaves. Giles asks her about the night's patrol. She's clearly not in her normal (well, up to this point in the series) good mood, and tells him there was "nothing vampire-y." Giles says he's been researching Spike, but hasn't come up with a reason why he's come to Sunnydale. Buffy says he'll figure it out. Giles picks up on her somber mood, and offers her the night off, which causes her face to brighten. He immediately undoes his good work, however, by suggesting that she spend some time with Angel. Face falling, she says he might have other plans. To put it Jonathan Kent-style, that hair gel isn't going to buy itself. Buffy leaves.

The thing we see is a note that reads, "Do you know who she was?" It's from Willow to Buffy. Ah, passing notes in class. I think in public schools, teachers must just be trained to ignore this practice. In my junior high and high school, people were passing notes left, right, forward and back, with all the stealth of Inspector Clouseau, and most teachers didn't say a word about it. As Buffy writes her response, we focus on Cordy, who's giving her own spin on the French bread famine: "I just don't see why everyone's always picking on Marie Antoinette. I can so relate to her. She worked really hard to look that good, and people just don't appreciate that kind of effort! And I know the peasants were all depressed." Hee. Xander is sitting to Cordy with an expression that's somewhere between "If I look into your ear real hard, I can see the 'for rent' space in your brain" and "Decapitation would look real good on you right about now." We see that Buffy has described Dru as having dark hair, wearing an old dress, and being pretty. Xander suggests that Cordy means the peasants were "oppressed," but she "whatever"s him and goes on that Marie Antoinette cared about the peasants, as she was willing to give them cake. The teacher takes the lead in the Nobel Prize for diplomacy race when she describes Cordy's perspective as "very interesting." Willow passes back the note, which reads, "Vampire?"

In the hallway, Buffy answers that she doesn't think so, as they looked pretty friendly. Because Angel has tons of human friends these days. Xander asks what's wrong, and Willow fills him in. Buffy asks if she has to be in "total share mode." Xander says that she needs cheering up, and suggests a "crazed dance party at the Bronze." He accompanies it with one of his patented "if I were the last person on Earth, I still wouldn't make it onto Soul Train" moves. Buffy doesn't reply, and he downgrades that to "very calm dance party at the Bronze," finishing with "moping at the Bronze." Heh.

Jason Behr appears behind her and says that a box of Oreos dunked in apple juice (the hell?) should work, but she might be over that phase. Buffy turns, and she and an earring-wearing Jason greet each other as "Ford" and "Summers" and share an embrace. I was going to call him Max, but I realized he displays more personality and range in this one episode than he did in three seasons of Roswell, so Ford it is. Buffy asks what he's doing there, and he says he's finishing out his senior year. As it were. They exposit that Ford and Buffy went to Hemery together for seven years, and that she used to have a crush on him. Xander begs for an introduction, which is given. He's predictably petulant. Ford half-jokes that he couldn't compromise his sixth-grade status by dating a fifth-grader. Buffy responds that she moped over him for months, and during that time she would sit in her room listening to "I Touch Myself." Realizing her error, she says that she had no idea what the song was about. She wisely shifts gears by inviting Ford to the Bronze. Ford asks if he'd be imposing. Xander, mock-sweetly: "Oh, only in the literal sense." Hee. Ford wisely ignores Xander, says he'll be there, and goes to find the admissions office, accompanied by Buffy. Xander: "Geez, doesn't she know any fat guys?" Willow, eyes widening: "Oh! That's what that song is about?" Hee.

Bronze. Xander, Willow, and Ford are playing pool when Buffy arrives. Willow slyly says that Ford was telling them about the "ninth-grade swimsuit competition." Buffy admonishes Ford: "The more people you tell, the more people I have to kill." Since we know Buffy was crowned May Queen Equivalent, how badly could it have gone? Unless of course the whole reason she got elected was that she had a little, um, accident and, er, gave it her all, so to speak. Ford smiles that he knows all her darkest secrets. Xander: "Care to make a small wager on that?" The fact that Ford does in fact know Buffy's darkest secret would be a subtle irony, were it not for the simple fact that Xander is always wrong. Buffy goes to get a drink, and runs into Angel. Xander explains to Ford that Angel is Buffy's "beau." Ford observes that Angel looks older than Buffy. Xander: "You're not wrong." Heh. Buffy asks Angel what he did the night, but he says he did nothing. Buffy: "Nothing at all. You ceased to exist?" For some reason, that strikes me as a very Patty Chase-like thing to say. Maybe it's just because I recently got my MSCL DVDs. Angela -- I mean, "Angel" clarifies that he stayed in and read. Buffy's face falls, and she steps back over to Ford as Angel follows. Buffy introduces them, and they shake hands. Ford: "Whoa! Cold hands!" Xander: "You're not wrong." Heh. That's two laughs you've gotten out of me with the same line, Xander. Quit while you're ahead. Angel asks if Ford is visiting Buffy, but Ford explains that he just "moved down." This is the only reference I remember to Sunnydale's geographical position relative to L.A., for anyone who cares. Willow brightly asks Angel if he wants to play pool, but Buffy says it's getting crowded, and asks Ford if he'd like to take a walk with her. He accepts, and they leave, Buffy avoiding Angel's eyes. Xander: "Okay, once more with tension." Was that the original name for the musical episode? Angel looks suspicious. Or he could be trying to figure out how many angels can dance on the head of a pin. We're not dealing with a huge range of facial expressions here. Xander notes that Ford moves fast. He and Willow look down, and when they look up, Angel's gone. Do I even have to say, "Ha hanot"?

In the alley, Ford asks if that was Buffy's boyfriend. Buffy: "Could we lay off the tough questions for a while?" And I was just going to ask you how you could afford those boots, Buffy. Ford apologizes, and asks what else she does for fun. On cue, they hear a noise around a corner farther down the alley. Buffy covers by asking Ford to get her purse, which she left in the Bronze. I assume that means that they were planning to go back; otherwise it's just too convenient. She tells him to hurry, which I don't understand, since we soon learn she has a stake on her. Wouldn't she want him to take as long as possible? Anyway, they start off, but once Buffy's around the corner, he doubles back after her. A crying girl comes running past him. He approaches stealthily, and sees a garbage can come flying into view. We hear punching and kicking. Ford rounds the corner, and sees Buffy fighting a vamp, whom she quickly dusts. He comes into full view and asks what's going on. Buffy tries to sell a lame story about two cats fighting. That almost makes Riley's paintball excuse sound believable by comparison. Ford says he thought she was just slaying a vampire. Buffy: "What? Whatting a what?" Hee. Ford explains that he knows she's the Slayer. Buffy: "I forget myself; I want you to remind me!" Oh, sorry.