Nightmares

First of all, because it can't be said too often, love and props to Ace, Sep, Sars, Wing, and Glark. Second, Sars gave me the chance to sniff around Season One before I hit my Season Three stretch run, so here I am. Apologies for doing this episode out of order, but I've got it on video, and since I just completed an international move, you'll take what you get and like it.

We open in the sewers. We hear footsteps, and a shadow appears on the wall in front of us. It looks like it's being cast by Pippi Longstocking holding a stake. Pippi Longstaking? No, my mistake, it's Buffy "Why Yes, I Am An Only Child. How Did You Know?" Summers, in pigtails. She looks around warily, and goes further in. There are lots of lit candles around, which would indicate that she's expecting to find someone. She walks around the far side of a support pole, and on the near side we see the Master quickly steal his way around. I jumped the first time I saw that. She continues on, then whirls around upon hearing something behind her. The Master hisses. She holds her stake on high, but fear and horror are plain on her face, and she drops her arm and lets it fall from her fingers. She backs up to the wall, and he moves in. He slowly extends his hand, and closes it around her throat. He leans in to bite her, and she screams, "No!" which she shouldn't be able to do while being choked. Then again, it is a dream.

Buffy's lying in bed, moaning "No, no!" as Joyce "Boy, Am I Glad My Character Was Written Better After The First Season" Summers tries to wake her. She finally succeeds, and Buffy stares at her. I marvel at the size of Buffy's "dinners" (tm Keckler's grandmother) back then. Those things are really saying "Howdy!" if you know what I mean, and I think you do. Joyce tells Buffy that it's time to go to school, and Buffy's psyched. Joyce: "Good day to buy that lottery ticket." Heh. Except for the first "H." Her lines sucked back then. She says she spoke to Buffy's father. Buffy's anxious about whether he's coming, but Joyce assures her that they're "on for this weekend."

School. Buffy and Willow "The Longer The Hair, The Bigger The Square" Rosenberg walk down the hall and talk about Buffy's dad. Buffy says she doesn't see him that often, as he's in L.A., and gives a few details of the divorce. Willow is so sympathetic, I barely even recognize her. She says that her parents don't even fight. "Sometimes they glare." She asks if Buffy knows why her parents split up. Buffy says she didn't ask, but she knows she didn't help because she was always in slaying-related trouble. Willow says she's sure that didn't have anything to do with it, and Buffy gamely agrees.

Classroom. Cordelia "I Can't Remember The Last Time I Got Carded" Chase is checking her make-up in a hand mirror when a shadow passes over her. She chastises a boy (that's a stretch -- he looks older than she does) who's got his hair pulled back in a manner that on TV screams "sensitive eccentric." Xander "Hormones Are A Boy's Best Friend" Harris appears: "Wendell, what is wrong with you? Don't you know that she is the center of the universe and the rest of us merely revolve around her?" Cordy: "You finally learned something worth knowing." Well, she said that with her facial expression. Buffy and Willow enter, and are informed about the getting-in-Cordy's-light incident. Willow: "Why is she so Evita-like?" Buffy: "I think it's the hair." Heh. Xander asks if there was any homework, and I seriously wonder why he didn't just start that contracting career at age sixteen. Willow says they're doing "active listening." I prefer "active ignoring" and "active hating," but that's just me. Xander wonders what active listening is, and even Buffy is totally like, "Duh!" She, Willow, and Wendell explain that it was the homework, and that their teacher, Miss Tischler, demonstrated it the day with him. Buffy says that Miss Tischler was wearing a tight sweater. Xander: "Oh, the midnight blue angora! See, I was listening." Uh, has he already forgotten "Teacher's Pet"? Then again, that episode sucked. Sars, have you forgotten it yet? ["I had until just now, JACKASS." -- Sars] We see Miss Tischler, who's been shopping at the same clothing stores as Miss French. Tight white sweater and leopard-print skirt. I guess she didn't want Buffy's dinners to get all the attention. She mentions active listening, and Xander goes for the dork gold medal five minutes in by cupping his hands around his ears. And I'm sure they're not the only things perking up, thanks to the sweater. Buffy and Willow snicker to each other. The teacher's amused, because this is TV. She lectures a bit, and as she does, Buffy drops her pencil. When she leans over to pick it up, she sees a young boy standing in the doorway. Scary music plays. The teacher asks Wendell to read a passage from the textbook. He opens his copy, and several large spiders scuttle out of it. He yells, and everyone starts screaming, the teacher most loudly. Way to keep cool in a crisis. There's a quick, hilarious shot of the teacher and Cordy standing side by side screaming their heads off, made even funnier by the fact that Cordy looks older than the teacher. Wendell screams for someone to help him. The boy looks on impassively. "Sorry about that."

Credits. I always love the final shot, since it's of Buffy in one of many kick-ass poses, but the one from this season, where she slowly looks up after dusting Luke, is my favorite. Also, I prefer the original ending to the theme song. Thank you for asking.