Luke is on top of Buffy in the casket, preparing to nosh on her neck. Suddenly he sits back staring at his hand, which has been burned by the cross Buffy is wearing around her neck. The spunky Slayer takes this opportunity to boot the big bully in his breadbasket. Luke flips out of the casket and Buffy uses the chance to flee the mausoleum. As she runs across the cemetery grounds, she hears growling and a shriek and finds Willow pinned to the ground by a big vamp in leather pants. The leather pants are, of course, black. Buffy, apparently having used up all her quips in the pilot episode, settles for shouting, "Hey!" and then deals the vampire an oddly prissy kick to the face. The vamp flees (they're such cowards, aren't they?) and without helping Willow up, Buffy takes off running again. Willow dashes after her, and the girls spot Xander being dragged across the grass by two more vampires. Buffy makes short work of one of them by staking him with a broken branch. Willow rushes to Xander's side and, upon Buffy's questioning, Xander reveals that Darla has made off with Jesse.
Cut to a shot of a spinning globe and Giles pontificating about demon history. Apparently, demons ruled the Earth long ago but eventually lost their hold on this world. Now, mortal creatures rule the Earth and only a few demons remain. As Giles expositions, he is also walking around the library shelving books. I love a man who can multi-task, don't you? We don't see anyone else in the library, and I worry a little that Giles is talking to himself. I know the British are eccentric and all, but that's a bit much. Oh wait, Buffy, Xander, and Willow are there too. Phew, that's a relief. Giles and Buffy are giving Xander and Willow the lowdown on what they experienced the night before. Xander protests against having a serious conversation containing the word "vampire," while Willow sits quietly, looking pale. Well, paler than usual. Apparently a know-it-all from square one, Buffy mocks Xander's reaction, while he rolls his eyes behind his unfortunate feathered bangs. And I'm not even going to mention his shirt patterned with what appear to be green floating hamburgers. See, no mention at all. Giles explains that the "last demon to leave this reality fed off a human," mixing their blood and creating the vampire race -- humans infected with demon souls. Since then, the vampires have hunted and waited for the mortals to die out. All this rather belies the great number of demons we've seen since season two, but even I'm not snarky enough to hold the show's writers to vague premises established in the second episode.
Speak of the demon! Luke and Darla manhandle Jesse into the Master's underground lair, where the Master waits beside his pool of red Jell-O. Somebody should tell him you have to refrigerate the stuff to get it to set. I'm afraid he has a long wait. The Master is excited to see his little snack, but gets rather irritated when Darla admits she's already had a nip, or, as she puts it in her own words, "Hish blood ith pure." Damn plastic teeth. Anyway, the Master gets pissy about his henchpeople's behavior and I giggle, 'cause I love a petty villain. Darla and Luke make excuses, mentioning they encountered a powerful girl, possibly a Slayer.
Back in the library, Giles gives Xander and Willow the abbreviated story of Buffy: "The Slayer hunts vampires. Buffy is a Slayer. Don't tell anyone." Hee. I feel much differently about Giles now than I did when I saw my first episode of Buffy way back when. I was visiting my sister and we watched the first-ever airing of the second-season episode "Halloween." I recall being confused by Giles and asking my sis what the stuffy boring guy had to do with anything. I've grown a lot as a person since then. Xander wants to know how to kill vampires, but Buffy insists that any killing be left up to her. Swinging around her cleavage (what ever happened to that tasty accessory?), she vows to save Jesse. Willow suggests calling the police, but Giles and Buffy shoot that idea down. The gang deduces that the vampires are hiding in a system of tunnels underneath the town.
In his lair, the Master and Luke discuss stopping the Slayer before she ruins the Master's plans to ascend. They decide that Buffy will come for Jesse, and Luke grabs Jesse by the throats and gloats that he's now "bait." In a reaction shot, Jesse seems to be going for "terrified" but ends up with a face that just screams, "Ewww, Luke had knockwurst and garlic knots for lunch."
Willow is demonstrating her computer skills by hacking into city plans for the tunnels under the town. I loved Willow's computer skills, and I'm going to take this opportunity to soap-box that I'm actually quite upset that the writers have abandoned Willow's intellectual abilities for something fuzzy-wuzzy and emotional like spell-casting. The plans don't show any access into the tunnels, and Buffy snits around bemoaning the situation until she realizes that Luke came out of nowhere to attack her, and this would seem to indicate that the tunnels can be entered through the mausoleum. Xander asks what the plan is, and Buffy tells him that he can't come along. Tossing the non-Slayers a bone and thereby establishing the beloved Scooby Gang, Giles offers Xander and Willow the opportunity to assist by researching the upcoming Harvest. Buffy leaves the library and, sporting funny bug-eyed sunglasses, starts to leave the school grounds through a gate. As she does, Principal Flutie stops her and warns her that leaving school grounds could get her into trouble. Buffy tries to explain that Mr. Giles told her to fetch a book, but Flutie repeats she shouldn't leave and locks the gate. After he tromps away, Buffy leaps over the fence and runs off. I read some complaints on the boards about Buffy's high heels in season four, and I must be honest and admit that I didn't notice them because my eyes were always smarting too much from getting poked by SMG's pointy collarbones, but this last shot contained proof that Buffy's heels have been high since the very beginning.
Xander and Willow walk down a Sunnydale High hallway discussing items for their Internet search. Xander complains that he'll just be standing aside, not helping, and I reflect on just how far we haven't come in the past four seasons. Willow tries to assure Xander that Buffy can handle whatever is hiding in the tunnels, but Xander doesn't seem convinced.
It's still daylight as Buffy sneakily enters the mausoleum from the night before. It seems deserted, and Buffy inspects the walls, finding a gate locked with a large chain. Behind her, Angel steps from the shadows. Buffy senses his presence and asks if he has a key. Angel fiddles with the ridiculous droopy cuffs of his shirt as he mangles his line: "They really don't like me dropping in." The two trade clichéd snarky barbs, and Buffy finally gets a formal introduction to the lurking smirker, which is a relief to me since now I can call him Angel and not feel I'm spoiling things for people who have been living under a rock for the past four years. Buffy prepares to open the chained gate, and Angel, a little panicky, tells her not to "go down there." Not something you hear from most high-school boys, so maybe that's why Buffy is so taken with the obviously-quite-a-bit-older Angel. Angel explains that tonight is the Harvest, after which the Master will walk free. Haven't we established that like six times already? For a lurking wisdom-bearing guy, Angel sure is behind the rest of the script. Buffy asks why Angel doesn't stop the Harvest and he laughingly sneers, "Because I'm afraid." If someone has a good explanation as to why Boreanaz chose to deliver that line like it was a put-down of Buffy, I'd love it if you'd drop me a line. Because from where I'm sitting, it looks like the worst piece of acting I've seen since that high-school performance of Godspell my boyfriend dragged me to last month. But good move, David, on getting those crooked choppers fixed before you got your own spin-off. Where was I? Oh yeah -- Buffy says she's going to save Jesse; Angel warns her that the bad guys will be waiting for her. She asks if he knows what it's like to have a friend, and Angel looks shifty and sad. He gives her some instructions on how to find the Master and after she leaves, he whispers, "Good luck." To which I can only say, "Whatever." Oh, that and, "Joss Whedon is pretty damn lucky Boreanaz learned to act."
Buffy makes her way through the deserted tunnels under the city, dodging rats and drippy pipes. A figure looms behind her and Buffy spins to find -- Xander. He's followed her out of a desire to help save Jesse, and also get out of chemistry class. There were times in high school when I would have hunted vampires rather than attend chem class, so I can sympathize with Xander on that one. They creep through the tunnels as Buffy regales Xander with a story of the time she killed a vampire by beheading him with an Exacto knife. The scene then does a cool little sliding split-screen thing as we hear Giles reading about the Harvest in the library. He realizes that the Harvest will happen tonight. Yeah, we GOT IT.
In the Sunnydale High computer lab, Cordelia and Harmony are plinking away at some sort of programming project. They discuss plans to go to the Bronze, and as Willow eavesdrops, Cordelia tells Harmony about how Buffy attacked her the night before. Harmony just gives a "doesn't surprise me" nod that I find strangely amusing. She complains that they haven't done a section of the program correctly and Cordelia demands, "Why do we have to devise these programs? Isn't that what nerds are for?" Damn, maybe that's the line I should have tried on my boss when he told me I was going to learn CGI programming with PERL, something that has subsequently given me no end of headaches. Ah well, Cordelia and I might share the same last name, but I just don't have her bitchy sense of entitlement. Cordy and Harmony try to cheat off Willow, but she's looking at web pages. Cordelia then gets back to her story about Buffy at the Bronze, exaggerating to say that Buffy ran at her with a stick, screaming that she was going to kill her. Actually, I would think that's a reaction Cordy must deal with often. A dopey long-haired guy gets in on the gossip, and Cordy calls Buffy a "psycho loony." This prompts Willow to stick up for her new friend. Cordy quickly stomps Willow down, telling her she's boring and doesn't have permission to speak. Willow gets up and starts to leave the room, but right before she does, she tells Cordy to save her file by pushing "deliver." Hee hee. Cordy pushes the DEL key, thus deleting her entire program.
Buffy and Xander are still creeping through the tunnels. They spot a figure lying on the ground and rush over to Jesse, who seems very happy to see them. Buffy breaks a manacle off Jesse's leg and the three begin to run. Behind them, some vampires lurk and growl. As Buffy, Jesse, and Xander round a corner, they run right into a menacing vampire, who makes threatening gestures with his long fingernails. Time to get a manicure, dude. Jesse leads Buffy and Xander down a hall, telling them that the vampires brought him that way, but it turns out to be a dead end. When Xander demands to know what they're going to do, Jesse vamps out and monotones, "I got an idea. You can die." Yeah, way to put your back into it, Jesse. You had me convinced there. Xander tells Jesse that he's sorry, and Jesse gives him the usual vampire sales pitch about feeling better than ever before. He calls Xander "Shander" through his prosthetic teeth and I snicker. Behind them, Buffy attempts to shift a large metal door. Xander holds Jesse off by waving the cross Buffy gave him earlier and then Buffy tosses Jesse out the door. She and Xander get the door closed and bolted just as a crowd of vampires arrives. As the vampires batter the door from the other side, Buffy tears a grate off a vent in the ceiling and helps Xander climb through.
Xander and Buffy are crawling through the tunnel, pursued by the vamp. Xander is wearing one of those wallet chains that were so popular back then and, like his skateboard, it's never to be seen again. They push aside a manhole cover, and Xander climbs out into the daylight into what appears to be a power station. He extends his hand to help Buffy out, but right when she's almost free, her ankle is caught by the vampire. Xander pulls on Buffy, exposing her ankle (and the vamp hand) to the sunlight. The vamp sizzles for a good long bit before deciding the pain is too much and letting go of Buffy's ankle, causing Buffy and Xander to fall over backwards.
In the Master's lair, he's berating his henchman. Colin starts to say something, and the Master inquires, "Are you going to make excuthes?" I'm really glad they've figured out how to do the vampire teeth without the lisping. The Master needles Colin a bit more, but then says that it just means there will be someone good for him to kill when he's free. He orders his henchman to bring Luke, but stops Colin as he turns and orders him to apologize. Colin complies and the Master says, "There. That wasn't so bad, was it?" Before Colin can turn to go, the Master says, "Hold on. You've got something in your eye," as he shoves his sharpened fingernail into Colin's eye. Ew. I'm really glad the special-effects team decided not to show us that, but the Foley guy made up for it by having an extra squishy sound effect.
The camera zooms in on Giles -- wait for it -- researching. He looks up at a noise, calling out, "Buffy?" It's not Buffy but Willow. She asks if there has been any word, and when she finds out all has been quiet, she tells Giles the fruits of her research. She explains that there was a rash of murders before a big earthquake in 1837. Giles says it's all falling into place, "although [he] rather wish[es] it weren't."
I guess Darla has been reading Martha Stewart's Living for advice on how to spruce up your underground prison, because she's lighting the last of about a billion candles. I would think vampires, being susceptible to death by fire, would be more careful about open flames. Perhaps someone should suggest that a few strings of Christmas lights would give the same effect, more safely. Luke approaches the Master and dramatically takes off his coat as the Master extends his hand for Luke to kiss. They're all moving so deliberately -- what is this? The interpretive dance portion of the show? This is supposed to be a horror show and I'm trying to suppress my giggles. I must say, the "Sounds of Halloween" soundtrack that Joss picked up real cheap isn't exactly helping either. Anyway, Darla looks on, fascinated, as the Master exposes his inner wrist to Luke, who feeds on some of his blood. "My blood is your blood. My soul is your soul," intones the Master. "My body is your instrument," replies Luke. Dude, we didn't need to know that. The Master daubs a symbol onto Luke's forehead and helpfully explains the plot of this episode. Namely, that Luke is "the vessel" of the Master, and that every person he drains tonight will bring the Master one step closer to freedom. And it's happening tonight. Which certainly hadn't been established before.
Willow is flipping pages in the library as Buffy and Xander dejectedly enter. Willow hopefully asks if they found Jesse, and Xander's glum response causes her to ask if he was dead. "Worse," replies Buffy. She tells Willow that they were too late. Xander kicks a trashcan, and the resulting loud crash startles Buffy and Willow. "I don't like vampires," says Xander. "I'm going to take a stand and say they're not good." That's a classic all-time-great Xander quote. Buffy asks Giles if he has "anything that could make this day worse." "How about the end of the world?" offers Giles. "I knew I could count on you," snits Buffy. Giles explains all about the Hellmouth and the Harvest, which we already know all about, so let's just wait for the Scooby Gang to catch up. Okay, so Xander opines that the Harvest is going to be held at the Bronze, and the gang heads out. Buffy says that she has to make a stop for supplies.
To heighten the suspense or pad the run time, I'm not sure which, we get a dramatic shot of the sun low on the horizon.
In her room, Buffy is gathering some things together when her mom comes in to talk to her. Joyce says that the principal called her because of the classes that Buffy skipped, and tells her daughter that she can't go out; Buffy tries to impress the importance of this evening on her mother. "I know," says Joyce, "If you don't go out it will be the end of the world. Everything is life or death when you're a sixteen-year-old girl." Ha. Ha. Ha. Not. Joyce goes downstairs to make dinner and Buffy digs a trunk out of the closet. Under a false top of girly kitsch, we see a woefully understocked weapons chest. She grabs some stakes, holy water, a crucifix, and an especially sharp stake, which she tucks in her sleeve. After checking the door, she climbs out the window.
Over at the Bronze, Cordelia is lecturing her posse on the dating. She recommends seniors because they have "mystery" and "cars." The band starts in with a song that Cordelia likes, and she leads the herd to go graze on the dance floor. From the edge of the dance area, Jesse is eyeing her intently. When the song ends she turns around and almost walks into him. She demands to know what he wants, and instead of answering he wordlessly leads her back onto the dance floor for a twirl, never taking her eyes off of her. She starts to protest, but he tells her to cram it.
Outside, the bouncer is looking down counting bills when Darla and her gang, all in game faces, stroll into view. She has a spring in her step and that indicates her excitement about the events to come. They all file past him, and the bouncer, still not looking up, tells them that he needs to see ID. They don't listen, and Luke growls into the bouncer's startled face and orders him inside.
Once inside, they shut the door, and one of the vamps kills the lights and music as Luke gets onstage and tells the crowd that there is "no cause for alarm." Since he's backlit, nobody can tell that he's a vampire. As someone flicks a spotlight on him, he amends that to, "Actually, there is cause for alarm. It just won't do any good," as someone in the crowd screams. Cordelia turns to see Jesse and his crap-ass makeup smiling at her, and she does that half-scream thing. One of the vamps brings Luke his first victim, the none-too-bright bouncer who wonders what's wrong with Luke's face. Luke pontificates some more, and I really wish Joss would learn for once and for all that only charismatic characters should be allowed to do that. Luke drains the bouncer amidst screams from the crowd.
We get a special Master reaction shot. He has a "did someone fart?" look on his face.
Luke drops the bouncer and calls for his victim.
Outside the Bronze, the gang runs up to the door, only to find it locked. Buffy hands over her bag of tricks and tells them to find the back entrance, cautioning them to concentrate only on getting the people out and to leave the fighting to her. Around back, Giles, Xander, and Willow find the back entrance locked as well. Xander says they have to get in there quickly before Jesse "does something stupider than usual." Giles lectures Xander to remember that when he sees Jesse he's "not looking at [his] friend, [he's] looking at the thing that killed him."
Inside the Bronze, Luke is finishing up the course; meanwhile, underground, the Master says that he's almost free and with a rebel yell he cries, "More, more, more!"
Or something. Back at the Bronze, Jesse is possessively holding onto Cordelia, but Darla takes her from him because the Master has dibs. Being a vampire henchman really sucks. Heh. I crack myself up. Upstairs somewhere, there's a sound of crashing glass, and Buffy comes crawling in. From her perch above the dance floor, she listens to Luke pontificate some more. Buffy recognizes him as the Master's vessel, but then the vamp techie who is running the lights hears her. Darla brings Cordelia out onto the stage to Luke, and he strokes her cheek as she screams. He's about to snack on Cordelia, but is interrupted by the techie vampire falling from the catwalk with a loud thud onto the stage. Buffy cracks wise a bit with Luke and then flips off of the catwalk onto the pool table. She is immediately rushed by a vamp, but she does a cartwheel off the pool table, simultaneously picking up a pool cue and jabbing it viciously to the side, impaling the vamp. The pool cue, for some reason, never clatters to the ground as it should if the vamp had turned to dust. Buffy taunts Luke and takes off her jacket. She runs onto the stage and delivers a roundhouse kick which knocks Luke to the back of the stage. They fight. Buffy tries to stake him, but he blocks it and she drops the stake. He throws her into some boxes. I'd forgotten how terribly boring the fights were in the first season. Before they hired Jeff Pruitt. Who choreographed amazing, exciting fights. Who has now been fired. Good move, Joss & Co.
Giles, Xander, and Willow have managed to break into the back entrance. They start helping the scared people out of the building until Xander is grabbed from behind by a vamp. Buffy catches sight of this and grabs a cymbal, which she throws like a Frisbee at the vamp. Xander has the good sense to duck, and the cymbal decapitates the vamp. While Buffy is preoccupied with Xander, Luke grabs her from behind. Ruh roh! Onstage, Cordelia and her belly are squirming on the floor. Jesse straddles her and tells her to hold still, but Xander comes up behind him brandishing a stake and tells him to lay off.
Buffy struggles with Luke. Giles is attacked by Darla as he's helping everyone to safety. Jesse tells Xander that he's "a new man," and before he was changed he was a loser who couldn't get a date. Man, these vampires sure like to hear themselves talk, don't they? Luke finally gets down to business with Buffy as he says, "Master, taste of this and be free," and prepares to bite. Buffy finally realizes her ticket is good on the clue train and throws her head back, cracking Luke in the forehead and stunning him enough to drop her. She saucily asks him how she tasted. Darla has Giles pinned on the floor, but here comes shy l'il Willow with a jar of holy water. She catches Darla's attention, then throws the water in Darla's face when Darla turns to look at her. Darla's face starts steaming a lot -- like, kick the smoke machine down a couple of notches, guys -- and she runs off.
Jesse throws Xander against a wall, and Xander positions the business end of his stake right over Jesse's heart. Jessie snots that Xander lacks the cojones to stake him, but at that moment he's impaled onto the stake by a random fleeing girl who bumps into him. What, is Jesse made of Play-Doh? That was barely hard enough to break skin. As Jesse turns to dust, Xander is grabbed by two more random vampires. Back onstage, Luke STILL can't shut up. Buffy picks up a mic stand. Luke tells her that she "forgot" that metal is useless against him, but Buffy tells him that he forgot about sunrise, and she hurls the mic stand at the blacked-out window above the stage. As a bright backstage light shines onto Luke, he starts writhing in anticipation of being burned, and Buffy stakes him from behind. "It's in about nine hours, moron," she snarks. Luke takes a really long time to fall off the stage before bursting into dust on the floor.
Back in the cavern, the Master falls to his knees, screaming and throwing a little tantrum. we have that famous shot from the credits of the camera panning up from under Buffy to focus on her blue-lit face. She gives the two vampires who have Xander a look, and they take about two seconds to decide to un-live to fight another day. They run down the street, and Angel steps out of the street to deliver his obligatory line. If you're interested, it's, "She did it. I'll be damned." As it were.
Inside the Bronze, the gang convenes by the stage, surveying the carnage. Willow isn't displaying her characteristic intelligence when she asks if they won. Buffy says that they stopped the apocalypse, and she'll "give [them] points for that." Xander says, "One things for sure. Nothing's ever going to be the same."
The day at school, Cordelia is gossiping about the events of last night to a blonde girl. She tells the girl that it was "gangs on PCP." Nearby on the grass, Buffy meets up with Xander and starts walking. Xander is of the opinion that "the dead rose. We should at least have an assembly." They're met by Giles and Willow, who have also overhead Cordelia, and Giles explains what might as well be the mantra for the whole series: "People have a tendency to rationalize what they can and forget what they can't." Let me just say that Buffy is wearing more fabric on her head via her scarf than is contained in her skirt. Willow swears that she'll never forget, and Giles says that she'll be ready for the time. Everyone but Buffy and Giles looks shocked to learn that there might be a time. Giles says that they are "on the center of a mystical convergence here. We may in fact stand between the earth and it's total destruction." Buffy, sucking on a lollipop, says that she's going to look "on the bright side," and try to see if she can get kicked out of school. The teens walk off and Willow suggests that Buffy "blow something up," as "they're really strict about that." Like, maybe the library? Giles, listening to their conversation, adjusts his glasses and mutters to himself, "The earth is doomed."