Here's an interesting fact about Big Brother -- and pay attention, because those are rare: this is the seventh season I've covered, and it's only the second that ran more than 30 episodes, the other being BB9, the "winter edition," which existed as a stopgap for the writers' strike and still lasted a mere 33. Wait, did I say this was going to be an interesting fact? I guess those are even rarer than I thought.
From the studio, Julie calls this the "most controversial season of Big Brother ever" and an "epic, 90-day social experiment." That almost makes it sound almost interesting, too. After the super-sized previouslies and finale-style credits, we're back in the studio with Julie, who breaks the bad news that either GinaMarie, Spencer or Andy is about to be the winner. However, only two of the three will face the jury, after the third joins it. We rejoin the final three in the midst of the roller disco-themed first stage of the three-part HoH competition, whose very beginning we got to see on Sunday night. All three of them Diary Room about how much they need to win this as we watch them getting dragged in circles around the skating floor, between rows of miniature traffic cones, which must be bolted down, otherwise I don't see what's to keep them from kicking the things out of the way. Shortly after the overhead ropes start picking up speed, Spencer loses all control and flops hard onto the floor, quickly knocking him out of this round. That leaves GinaMarie and Spencer out on the floor, which in addition to everything else is soon covered with fake smoke and real soap suds. What's stopping them from just picking up their feet and hanging? Aside from the crippling weight of their skates and the fact that they're both little tiny people, I mean? Andy's flailing, and GinaMarie seems to know this is hers to lose. That is, until Andy recovers and GinaMarie starts struggling. But she outlasts him, which means she gets to automatically advance to part three of the HoH competition, while Andy and Spencer will have to compete against each other in part two to see which of them gets to try to beat GinaMarie. As for GinaMarie herself, she celebrates in the victory glitter bomb, at least until she chokes on some of it.
Post-ads, Julie introduces part two of the HoH competition, in which Andy and Spencer will have to compete in a fake undersea setting. For such an elaborate decoration job, the challenge itself is pretty simple: they just have to jump off a "boat" (actually a wall with a boat painted on it), dig through the sand for crab cutouts with pictures of evicted houseguests on them and then climb back up the wall to hang the crab's up in the correct order as quickly as they can. They'll need to do it one at a time because there's only one setup in place and then their times will be compared at the end to determine the winner. Andy goes first and is soon frustrated by the dud crabs he keeps finding, as well as the climbing harness and the, y'know, climbing. He has a little extra trouble finding the last crab with Candice's face on the back, but finally does so and closes the treasure chest that serves as this challenge's buzzer. Unfortunately for him, he's got some of the faces out of order. He scrambles back up to correct his mistake and swap Helen and Aaryn back into the right order, which is a time-consuming mistake he couldn't afford to make. Or could he?
Voting begins. Candice is the first to be called up to the podium, and says she's "proud to cast this vote for someone whom I love and respect." So that's one for Andy. Jessie says she's voting for the person who played the most consistent game, which probably means another one. Helen politics that she loves them both, but is voting on the game she wishes she could have played. Aaryn says, "This person's always been there for me, and I have to be there for that person." So there's one for GinaMarie. Amanda says she's voting for the best person and the best player, which she's already made clear is Andy in her opinion. Elissa votes for the "flawless social game" and the person who made deals with everyone in the house, so way to telegraph that you're voting for Andy. Judd just says, "Let the best Exterminator win," which is much less of a giveaway. So is McCrae's remark that he hopes the winner will be buying drinks tonight. Spencer votes for the best player and says it was an honor to be able to play with him. Or her.
After the ads, the five houseguests who were evicted before making it to jury -- David, Nick, Howard, Kaitlin, and Jeremy -- are sitting across the stage from the jurors. Before asking them about what they've thought while watching the season at home (those who did so, that is), Julie turns to Amanda, who she knows has been itching to know who the MVP was. Amanda has long since guessed that it was America, which is right, so that's no fun. Actually, Julie says it was Elissa the first three weeks and then America, who nominated her both times. "Thank you, America," Amanda snarks. She says she didn't think she was as unpopular with the viewers as she was, until she came out after her eviction and heard all the boos. So now Julie asks for Howard's reaction to what he saw, and he says something about how seriously people took all the racial and personal crap, much of which he wasn't aware of until he was out of the house. As always, he sticks to the high road, saying he hopes that the people who said those kinds of things will learn and grow from the experience. Julie informs the jurors that some of those comments "made national headlines," and singles out Spencer for his reaction. Spencer says it's terrible and he hates it if anything like that went on, because of the bad publicity for the show. In the ensuing, deafening silence, he asks, "Did I say anything, Julie?" She just tells him they don't have time, rather than reminding him of his comments regarding child pornography and his elaborately rendered fantasies of violence against female houseguests. Jeremy remarks on how Helen played the mom card and her crying strategy, like anyone cares what Jeremy thinks any more. Helen admits to having made herself cry once or twice, but never with Jeremy. So that was about it for that.