After McCrae's exit (seen Thursday), Andy DRs that McCrae must think he's been double-crossed. Which, to his credit, Andy admits that he totally has been. And he's not the only one, so a lot of people in the jury house are going to be thinking the same thing if Andy makes the final two. Andy was probably wise to put that proviso in there. To be honest, I'm having trouble picturing any of these people in the final two, let alone winning. Spencer DRs that after being nominated eight times and not being evicted once, he's the season's Grim Reaper; if you see him sitting to you on eviction night you might as well get up and tell Julie you'll be right there.
All of that was on day 84, after which the final three (Spencer, GinaMarie, and Andy, Exterminators all) did a group hug, and Andy was glad they told McCrae about their alliance before he left. Then there's a flashback from the flashback to just before Thursday night's show when Andy -- with GinaMarie and Spencer also at the table -- told McCrae about their alliance, including the part where Andy voted Amanda out and blamed Elissa for it. McCrae takes it harder in the DR than he does at the table, because he's just that Minnesotan. "Amanda's gonna be pissed," he says. In the DR, he regrets trusting Andy and admits he got played hard. Yes, and it was painful to watch.
At some later point, the final three come downstairs to find the traditional mimosa breakfast laid out for them. GinaMarie struggles with the cork on the champagne bottle, and then Andy struggles with kicking off the first stilted framing device for what's going to essentially be a clip show. He asks Spencer about the origins of the Moving Company, which Spencer credits Nick for. He also mentions that Nick was out the second week, and two more of them were gone within a month, so after McCrae's departure the only former Mover left is Spencer. Flashback to day 2, when Nick pitched an alliance to Jeremy in the back yard, casting Howard, Spencer, and McCrae to fill out the team. Then they ratified it in McCrae's HoH room, and Spencer recalls that it obviously wasn't going to work because it turned out that Jeremy was such a dick. As an illustration of that, we get to see a reprise of Wine Bottle-Gate, when Aaryn sicced Jeremy on everyone over the red wine being gone. And then Amanda went out to yell at Jeremy, who was completely unrepentant. And look how that worked out for him. And Aaryn. And Amanda, for that matter.
The flashback is built all around Elissa and how she was outed as Rachel's sister by day 2, because even these idiots couldn't miss the resemblance. There's a montage of the word spreading through the house, but unfortunately there isn't a similar montage of how badly Elissa bungled that whole situation.
GinaMarie does a stilted intro to a sequence of all the hookups that went down in the house. There were Jeremy and Kaitlin, Candice and Howard, David and Aaryn, and of course Amanda and McCrae. Spencer thinks that McCrae's HoH win was probably a big factor in that last one. We get a flashback to Amanda going up to spend the night in McCrae's bed and the making out that ensued. Which I think was not long before she realized that he wasn't lying about being a pizza boy. We also get to see their mock wedding in the back yard on day 54, when of course she was a total mock-bridezilla. Andy officiated in McCrae's old-timey vampire costume from the movie set competition, and the best thing I can say about it is that unlike so many weddings, it was short.
We also learn that Judd not only hooked up with Jessie -- who could barely give it away to him according to a clip from Day 46 -- he also kissed Aaryn on Day 69, then made out with her in bed that night. Judd talks in the DR about the seductiveness of J-U-double-D. Don't underestimate the seductiveness of limited options, Judd.
The other big showmance is of course GinaMarie and Nick, which triggers a flashback to GinaMarie's loud, emotional, over-the-top reaction to Nick's departure on day 21, yelling through the house. Saw it then. Don't need to see it again now. Of course, they've now been apart more than thrice the time they've been together and she's still acting like their love is lasing through the ages. I would be shocked if Nick is even still watching.
Andy brings up the number of fights that happened this season, and Spencer recalls the time he got "taken to Candyland." So of course there's a flashback to when Candice came out to the backyard to publicly yell at Spencer. I think we all saw how that worked out. Only one of the two of them is still here, after all. They move on to discuss Amanda's torturing of Elissa later in the season. Andy points out that Amanda did that to try to save him, but he didn't like how she went about it. I think we all know that Amanda also did it for fun, because she kept doing it even after saving anyone was off the table. So let's see a replay of that ugly display from day 66, shall we? Actually, let's not. Skipping.
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Then there's a montage of context-free emotional displays in the DR, starting with GinaMarie, Andy, Judd, Elissa asking about the process for getting eliminated, McCrae hiding behind his hair, more Judd, more GinaMarie, Kaitlin, Amanda, Andy, Elissa crying that nobody's ever liked her, Helen, Jessie, GinaMarie again, McCrae, Helen, Candice, Jessie, GinaMarie, Candice, Elissa, Jessie, Candice, Aaryn, Jessie, Candice, and GinaMarie, with David closing it all out by saying, "Dude, this is freaking lame." Yes, it was.
So let's wrap up this clip show with another thrilling moment we never saw. Andy tells GinaMarie and Spencer that he was trying to catch a moth in the back yard and fell into the pool. And then we see a clip of Andy trying to catch a moth in the back yard and falling into the pool. Thanks for the spoiler, Andy. Then they all do their Exterminator miming one last time. Let's hope it's the last time, at least.
And now they have to compete against each other. The first part of the final, three-part HoH competition finds the back yard decorated like a 1970s disco roller rink, complete with neon, mirror ball, and DJ mannequin. Andy reads the instructions: just hang on the longest to the ski ropes that'll be circling overhead. They lace up their skates and go out onto the floor to grab hold onto the rope handles. The rotation is pretty slow, at least to start with, but they have three lines of cones in their way to contend with as well. All three of them DR about how they want to win, and we leave them at it before anything is determined. Wow, that was a close one, but it's official: we got all the way to the end of the episode with almost literally nothing happening.
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at M.Giant[at]gmail.com.
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