HoH Judd nominated Kaitlin and Aaryn this week, figuring it was the safest move. And it would be, were there not an Amanda in the house with a giant hard-on to get rid of Howard, who, in the Diary Room, can't help observing that all the other strong males are leaving and he doesn't want to be . Aaryn thinks that when Judd called her a Texas tornado and he didn't want to twist his words that he was accusing her of twisting his words, which ironically, is not what he actually said, so now she is twisting his words. Although it may well be what he meant, because it didn't make much sense either way.
Aaryn asks for an audience with Judd in the HoH room, lying that she's not mad. He lies right back to her that she's going to be fine, telling her not to cry and assuring her that "We're gonna win the Veto." Basically he just doesn't want her to be mad at him week, but he advises her to act mad at him for the benefit of everyone else… when it's actually for the benefit of Judd.
Kaitlin frets about her nomination to Amanda, who assures her that she isn't the target, even if Aaryn wins the Veto. Aaryn herself joins them -- and McCrae, of course, because Amanda's in the room -- and Amanda gives her assurances as well, because it's Amanda's world and Howard needs to stop living in it.
Elissa has become so accustomed to being named MVP at about this time every week that, since it hasn't happened yet, she's starting to stress out. To the point that other people are starting to notice. She admits to Judd and Amanda that she hasn't won MVP and to the Diary Room that she suspects her consistent appointment as MVP -- and other people's willingness to use it -- is the only reason she's still in the house. Amanda goes and gets in bed with McCrae, going on about how sketchy Elissa's acting. Indeed, in the DR, she agrees with Elissa that the lack of the latter's MVP power makes her of little use. So Elissa was right. How about that?
Spencer and Howard are playing pool outside, and Spencer says that if Amanda and Elissa were gone, the house would be theirs. He's learned from the mistakes of the Moving Company, saying Jeremy was always a target and that they should go along with the house more this time so as not to give themselves away. Howard suggests recruiting Kaitlin (if she survives this week's eviction) and Judd. Basically they're talking about an "outsider's alliance" to go against Amanda, McCrae, Elissa and Helen. "Me and you, we're still the Moving Company, baby," Spencer says inadvisably, and they decide to go inside and get right on it.
Spencer goes to visit Judd in the HoH room. Howard, GinaMarie and Kaitlin are also in there, so Spencer figures the time is right. He speculates that Elissa has the MVP and plans to nominate Howard. They talk about how Helen, Amanda, Elissa and McCrae are running the house, and how those of them here in the room are all on the outside looking in. Howard talks about how they can wrest power away with superior numbers, like in A Bug's Life. Spencer DRs about what a ridiculous analogy it is, but it's working so he's happy. They're all in.
Andy, Helen, Candice and Jessie hang out in one of the other rooms talking about Elissa's failure to be MVP. Helen floats her 100% correct theory that America is the MVP and will vote on the third nominee. She's even figured out that America's nominee would be the highest vote-getter not already nominated. All of this makes every one of them nervous.
Everyone convenes in the living room to find out the third nominee. Judd reads the usual card, which says nothing about who the MVP is. After the "suspenseful" animation sequence, the third nominee is… Elissa. Oh, fickle, fickle America. Or else voters are conditioned to vote "Elissa" no matter what. If she ever runs for president we're screwed. She goes over to sit to Aaryn and Kaitlin on the nominee couch. Candice DRs that something weird is going on and Elissa DRs that she felt betrayed by the houseguests. Imagine how betrayed she'd feel if she knew who was really behind it.
Howard and Kaitlin also express their shock in the DR, and back in the living room, Judd mush-mouths that it's time to pick the other players. The three nominees join him at the front of the room, and his randomly selected choices are Helen (who resolves to win the Veto and save Elissa) and McCrae. He also chooses Andy as the host for the PoV competition, which as always is one of the biggest thrills of the week for these people. Aaryn says that Elissa's nomination is bad for her, because everyone's going to think that she, Aaryn, is the MVP and thus make her an even bigger target.
After that's over, Amanda and Candice go to comfort Elissa, who suspects either Aaryn, Kaitlin or GinaMarie as the MVP. GinaMarie gives Elissa a hug from behind, and Elissa recoils from her, telling her to stop. "I'm trying to be nice, Elissa, what's going on?" GinaMarie asks in confusion. After Elissa, Helen and Candice retreat to a bedroom to discuss, GinaMarie comes into ask if Elissa's mad at her. "You put me up," Elissa accuses. GinaMarie swears on her life and on a handy Bible that she neither got MVP nor nominated Elissa, and she doesn't know anything about Aaryn or Kaitlin having done so either. Elissa tells Candice that she actually wants to go home. GinaMarie tries to commiserate, only to be left standing there while Candice leads Elissa out of the room. Candice tells Elissa that Rachel would fight and she has to as well. After all, Rachel won the whole game, right? Well, on half of her attempts.
Aaryn finds Amanda and McCrae and tells them that she has to win Veto, or else she'll get voted out because everyone will think she got MVP and nominated Elissa. However, Aaryn doesn't have much trouble convincing Amanda that nobody would give her an MVP vote anyway, and Amanda figures the twist Julie mentioned last Thursday is somehow involved. Which is correct enough, but then they speculate that Elissa pulled a Regina George and nominated herself, hoping to pin it on Aaryn. Which is very not correct.
GinaMarie reports back to Judd and Kaitlin about Elissa's post-nomination behavior. Of course they all know that GinaMarie would never be able to play it cool had she been voted MVP. And if you thought that Amanda and Aaryn were way out on a limb with their theory Elissa nominated herself to make Aaryn the biggest target, well, Kaitlin climbs right out there with them.
PoV time. The competition appears to have an election theme, with mock-up campaign signs, voting booths, patriotic bunting and an actual mud pit, presumably for the players to drag each other's names through like in a real election. No, actually they're all dressed in borrowed Sunday best, and they'll have to crawl under benches and dig through the mud to find sealed envelopes, each of which contains a ballot indicating a certain number of votes. The goal is to collect the most total votes in eight minutes, but they only have slots for four ballots, which means they'll have to decide whether to keep or discard each one. There are also rewards or punishments on some of the ballots, which will remain in effect whether the player wins or loses. Andy says go, and the players dive into the mud. Most of the players DR about how gross it is except for Judd, who tells us in the DR about how it's like gigging frogs. At some point, water starts spraying on them and the mud. They're all talking in the DR about how much they want to win, until McCrae finds a ballot with zero votes and five grand and decides, "Who cares, I want money." At least he's honest.
Aaryn DRs that she didn't want mud on her face, saying in a rare moment of luminous self-awareness, "If my face was covered, I would be useless." Judd finds a ballot with 18 votes that requires him to submit to 24 hours of solitary confinement, and after some hesitation he locks it in. Elissa plays a 20-vote card that also says she can't play in the Veto competition, which of course she might not be able to do anyway and definitely won't if she gets evicted tomorrow night. In the final seconds, Helen finds her first double-digit ballot, which comes with an 8:00 curfew for two nights. When the time is up, Helen reveals her ballots to show that along with her curfew, she has 29 votes. Kaitlin got 25 votes, McCrae 20 (and five grand) and Aaryn steals the lead with 32 votes. Judd beats that with 38 votes, along with "snooze alarm solitary." Finally, Elissa skips the PoV competition and wins this one, with 40 votes. "Whoever secretly nominated me," she DRs, "you're going to have to try a lot harder to get me out of this house because I'm not going anywhere." Suck it, America! And suck it, Judd, who is regretting locking himself away from everyone else for 24 hours for nothing. He says a lot could happen in that time without his knowledge, which is probably the case anyway, but without alarm clocks. Howard is already thinking about who will replace Elissa on the block after she Vetoes herself, and hopes it's not him.
After the competition, Judd takes a towel and a Bible into a room that's been equipped with slop, bread, a portable toilet and a big loud alarm clock that's going to go off every nine minutes. "It'll be all right, though," he says. "I'll just pretend that I'm in jail." Because that would be better? Not much later, Helen says goodnight to everyone and goes to bed at 8:00, feeling like her kids. Judd is trying to get some sleep, which of course he has to do in eight-and-a-half-minute increments because of the blaring snooze alarm that he can't even reach from the couch he's sleeping on.
Elsewhere in the house, it's McCrae's 24th birthday, and the gang decides that Amanda should get dressed up to give him some birthday spankings. Elissa starts making fun of the fringed one-piece swimsuit Amanda puts on one-piece swimsuit, because she's safe this week and doesn't give a shit. Up in the HoH room, some of the guys have bandanas covering their faces as they grab McCrae, drag him over to the bed and let Amanda smack him on the ass with some kind of stubby little whip. Don't even ask me where that thing came from. Elissa disapproves of the whole display, and says so, both in the Diary Room and to Amanda's face, generally being not only a total buzzkill, but actively rude. She calls it, among other things, "gross." Amanda's actually wounded, and seems to have realized that Elissa's not as nice as she pretends to be.
McCrae goes and finds Amanda crying in the toilet cubicle, saying Elissa didn't like Amanda getting more attention than she did. Amanda's especially hurt after being on Elissa's side and helping save her before. "She's digging her own grave," McCrae tells Amanda. Happy birthday, McCrae.
Through all of this, Judd is having the longest 24 hours of his life. In the final seconds of his confinement, all the other houseguests gather supportively outside the door (like there's anything else to do), cheering for his release. Finally he comes out to cheers and hugs. He also has a beer in his hand within seconds and a plate of food from Helen a minute after that. "I don't ever want to go back to that room again," he DRs. Since that's one of the regular rooms in the house, that might be tricky.
Before the Veto meeting, Helen is worried that she might be the target after Elissa Vetoes herself. There aren't many other potential sources of suspense or DR commentary, since of course Elissa's going to Veto herself. And it's not like we can hear from anyone about the replacement nominee, because that person is being chosen by the MVP. And after everyone gathers in the living room, they find out it's… GinaMarie. So much for Elissa's idea of her being MVP. She parks it on the nominee couch and puts her feet up. In the DR, Howard thanks the MVP, "whoever you are," for not nominating him. Aaryn DRs that she's shocked about the replacement nominee, but doesn't know what it means for her yet. It means you're going home, Aaryn. Kaitlin takes this development as further proof that Elissa is the MVP: "If somebody in this house was truly going after Elissa, they would have replaced her with Helen. Seems kinda fishy." Well, there you go, then. GinaMarie has no idea what's going on, but says she's here to win. Well, if nothing else, it looks like the guys' losing streak is breaking this week.
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at M.Giant[at]gmail.com.
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