Jeff nominated Kevin and Natalie, as per his agreement with everyone, including Kevin and Natalie. The actual plan, as you may have recalled, was to put those two up as pawns with the ultimate goal of backdooring Russell. After the noms, Natalie smiles to everyone that she has the record, with four nominations. Maybe she could act a little less cheerful about it. Russell goes to talk to Jordan, but she leaves the room the moment he enters, assuring him nothing's up and calling him paranoid. But still leaving the room. He's like, Paranoid? Yes, yes I am. He Diary-Rooms about the importance of the upcoming Power of Veto.
In the backyard, Russell thanks Jeff and promises to never nominate him or vote against him. Meanwhile, for some reason, we learn in a DR interview that Jeff has decided to be pissed that Russell didn't vote the way he wanted in the Coup d'Etat eviction, as if Jeff even had a chance to tell anybody what he wanted from them. This is starting to look like one of those times when you're about to do something shitty to someone so you start looking for other reasons to be mad at them. I mean, not you, personally. When I say "you," I think you understand that what I actually mean is "Jeff." When Russell tries to chuckle goonily about how the two people who had the first fight of the season ended up being friends, Jeff barely looks at him. Way to play it cool, J-Man.
Over the lunch table, Natalie and Kevin take the opportunity to suck up to Jordan, who assures them that they're just pawns. Although she does remind us from the DR that the plan is dependent on the Power of Veto results. They sure work hard to get us to watch on Tuesdays.
Jordan reports back to Jeff up in the HoH room. As they watch Michele over the monitors while she gazes at the memory wall, Jeff thinks it's not a bad idea to do some studying. In fact, he gets annoyed with Jordan for not focusing on stuff when he asks her to. "If we're going to make it together, I need help from you as well as me." They start arguing about it, and Jeff acts like a pissy little baby when she doesn't appreciate it. He finally pouts that he isn't going to help her any more, and she can do what she wants. Isn't it showmantic?
But they're both still asleep in the bed the morning when Russell rings the buzzer, trying to bring them a little snack. He's left hanging out there. In more ways than one.
Rebuffed, he regroups with Michele in the backyard, wondering what's up with Jeff and hoping he's not thinking about backdooring one of them. Oh, Russell, stop being so paranoid. Why would Jeff want to backdoor Michele? Again, all they can say is that they'll both try to win PoV tomorrow. Can we ever have an episode where nobody at all gives a shit about the Veto?
Everyone but Natalie is out in the backyard, learning all about Kevin and his sexuality. Kevin says the house has been very accepting. "I just wish the whole world was like this." I think that's the first time in history anybody has ever said that about the Big Brother house.
Michele and Jeff have a conversation up in HoH, while Jordan fucks around with the noise-canceling headphones in a way that makes it look like she's doing experiments on herself. Both Michele and Jeff leave unsatisfied. And Jeff isn't any happier when he realized that Jordan wasn't really paying attention. In fact, he's getting kind of irritated with her for coasting along with him this whole time and letting him do all the dirty work for the both of them. I'm sure he's not also beginning to get irritated by her piercing voice or her Billy Idol smile like the rest of us. Jordan shushes him as Michele returns and gives her a supportive hug. Still, Jeff is getting annoyed with Jordan's sweet, innocent image, which Michele just underscored. Moving on from that awkward topic, they segue to an even more awkward one: Michele lets slip that she and Russell have been talking, which Jeff holds over her head. Jeff certainly is playing this week close to the vest, which would be fine if he owned a vest and didn't have to wave his cards around looking for one.
Afterward, Jordan goes down to assure Natalie and Kevin once more that the plan is still in place, but they all still need to win PoV. The minute Jordan's gone, Kevin vows in the DR to do what they need to survive, then stab Jeff and Jordan in the back. Oops, I think they forgot to share that part with anyone. They should just disclose that now so there are no hard feelings later.
PoV competition. Since we're down to six players, nobody's sitting this out. They all come out into the backyard in safari clothes, to find the yard transformed into a jungle setting, with bananas scattered everywhere. They have to stand in front of a giant gorilla carving named "Otev" ("'Veto' spelled backwards," Jordan eurekas in the DR), out of which comes the voice of Casey. Who, as everyone remembers, left the house in a banana suit, and has now agreed to compound his humiliation by returning as the voice of a competition with a theme in keeping with his defeat. Well, they had to ask him back before the school year started, I guess. The producers indulge him by letting him rap an intro to the PoV game. But what about us, producers? What about us? Otev will also "rap" questions about about former houseguests, and then they'll all have to race around the yard to find bananas with the right name on it. We get some more "ratcheting" "up" of the "tension" about the upcoming contest. Just get on with it already.
The answer to the first question is Ronnie. Jordan and Michele are the last to find their bananas, and then they have various difficulties climbing back up the oiled, smooth ramp to present their answers to Otev. Jordan was the last one up the ramp, so she's eliminated. She DRs that Jeff is going to be mad at her. This hour, what else is new?
In the second round, everyone gets it right again, but Natalie is the last, so she's out. She goes and pouts on the loser's bench to Jordan about how she never wins anything. Funny, she didn't say that at the beginning of the season. In the third round, Jeff bypasses the climbing rope entirely, bounding up the ramp like the big showoff he's turning into. Kevin and Russell are the last to deliver their bananas, but since Kevin beats him by a hair, Russell has to face his "pet peeve" of losing. Now he's just hoping Michele will win the PoV. And, of course, failing that, that Jeff isn't actually going to do what he's been telegraphing he's going to do for days now.
That leaves Jeff, Michele and Kevin, with Jeff again up the ramp first, followed by Michele, so Kevin's out. Kevin joins the losers and prays for a win from Jeff, thinking that's his only chance of survival. Obviously, Russell's rooting for Michele. In the last round, Jeff starts messing with Michele's head, and ultimately wins it, giving himself the Veto, the power to decide what he's going to do with it, and the power to brag about it a lot in the DR.
Afterward, Kevin congratulates Jeff in the store room, and says he'd like to be taken off the block. Jeff says he might get his wish. After he leaves, Michele also congratulates Jeff, although she remembers to play it cool enough to say that it didn't matter which of the two of them won. Which of course is why Jeff employed psychological warfare.
Michele and Russell have a short, whispered conversation, saying they need to close the file on Natalie and Kevin, but Russell vows in the DR that if he gets nominated, "There will be hell in this house." You don't think Russell would lose his temper, do you?
Jordan reports to Jeff that she's been praying on it (thanks for making a contribution, Jordan), and it's time to break up Russell and Michele. All Jeff will say is that he has a couple of days to think about it. But Jeff! God said!
Jeff meets with Natalie and Kevin about the plan, and they both promise him that they won't put him up, which means Michele and Jordan will go up, not that Jeff is worried about that right now. Jeff thinks about it, unaware that Kevin and Natalie agree that they'll have to nominate Jeff the following week, whatever they said. But what happens when Jeff figures that out? Well, it'll be too late, so fuck it.
Pouting into the middle distance with Michele, Russell is getting surly and pissy about what Jeff is doing, whether he nominates one of them or not. Russell warns Michele that if one of them goes up, he'll go off. "You thought Chima was bad?" Yes, but only because she was. What's Russell going to do to top Chima's exit? Get himself shot by security? That would certainly teach Jeff a lesson, wouldn't it?
Up in the HoH room, Jordan says she's going to give Jeff his "space," but then doesn't go. Jeff thinks she's acting weird, and assures her that she's not getting on his nerves, like he can tell she thinks she is. She acts like this is some major insight, and is deeply moved that he can peer into her innermost workings and understand what's going on in there. As though she's a Swiss watch or some mysterious puzzle instead of a puzzle that looks like this. And, of course, she still doesn't leave. Looks like they've made up. But then, when they turn off the lights, we can see their creepy glowing eyes in the night-vision cameras. That's how we know it's all better now.
It's time for the Veto ceremony. Kevin and Natalie are hopeful, but Russell is a big old stress-ball. He knows what's coming. Jeff calls the meeting and gives Natalie the first chance to speak in her own defense. Natalie says he should use the veto on her if he thinks she can get him closer to the half-million, but otherwise it's fine. When it's Kevin's turn, he promises to continue playing a straightforward game, but respects Jeff's decision either way. Jeff finally announces that he is using the veto, and taking Kevin off the block. Russell is doing a slow burn as Kevin accepts the Veto medal. Jeff nominates Russell as his replacement nominee, and "explains," "Couldn't get past the Jessie vote, and you and Michele were getting a little close... you were the stronger competitor in my eyes." So when does Russell go off? Because right now, he's just pursing his lips so hard he's turning into a bald Renee Zellweger.
Kevin sings happily in the DR. Jeff says he expects nothing but "fireworks" from Russell, Michele says she needs to distance herself from Russell (and while she's at it, she should look into what's up with Kevin and Natalie or else she'll only ever see the final four from the jury house). Russell just DRs, "Jeff, you're an idiot. You are as dumb as I thought you were. He now is the strongest player in the house and assumes that target? Congratulations, you're up ." That's it? What a letdown.
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.