As you recall, Jeff used the secret Coup d'Etat power to save Lydia and Russell and replace them with Natalie and Jessie, respectively, resulting in Jessie's ouster in a 3-2 vote. And if you don't recall, we get several minutes of previouslies rehashing the whole scenario, but this time with Diary Room reactions from people. Which are pretty much what you'd expect. Jordan was stunned, Russell thrilled, and Chima, as much as she thought she hid it at the time, was totally enraged. We also get to hear some of the discussion in the living room, after Jeff's move but before Jessie's exit, as Chima and Natalie both accuse him of being "disloyal." They are of course using the word "disloyal" as it is always used in this house, which is to say, "disloyal to me."
After Jessie's exit, Natalie weeps in the DR about losing Jessie and the injustice of it all. Chima, equally tearful, literally compares Jessie's unexpected exit to the death of a family member. Way to keep it in perspective, crazy lady. Kevin reminds us that Jessie pushed him away, and is what America thinks he is, and that he, Kevin, was glad to see the end of him. Lydia's also crushed, saying Jessie got in her heart. She should get that checked. That's a dangerously large obstruction.
After Jessie left, Jeff asked why everyone was so angry, and they blamed him for not doing what he said he was going to do, or what they thought he said he was going to do. Then Michele won HoH to the surprise of everyone, including herself. Chima still holds out hope for getting rid of Russell. Russell knows he's got some more fence-mending to do (because the last round of them went so well), and Kevin DRs that he doesn't know what Michele will do. A lot of that going around, actually.
After the HoH competition, Jeff hangs in the kitchen with Michele, Jordan, and Russell, all of whom appreciate Jeff's move. Jeff says he just leveled the playing field is all, and he's fine with the rest of them having a "pity party."
In fact, Chima, Natalie, Kevin, and Lydia sit around, sharing their disbelief that Russell is actually trying to make things up with Michele after what went on between them last week. Chima's still determined to get Russell out of the house, and plans to talk to Michele about it. Kevin, knowing Chima, warns her not to get too bossy.
Michele gives a tour of her HoH room. As usual, we learn nothing interesting other than that Michele used to be blonde.
Jeff and Russell hang out in the backyard, agreeing that Chima's probably going to nominate the two of them. Russell offers to give Jeff the PoV if he wins it, even if they're both nominated. He's either just that grateful that Jeff kept his word to him, or is trying to put Jeff in his debt by claiming he'd do something he'll never have to actually do.
Russell has an audience with Michele in the HoH room, and she explains to him about the problems she had with him last week. Russell apologizes for his part in their "miscommunications," and she lets him off the hook, although she DRs that she's going to keep an eye on him.
Dinnertime. Jessie's allies are acting like they're at Jessie's funeral, drinking his wine and essentially driving Jordan, Jeff, Russell not only insane but also out to the backyard. "This is so wrong," Chima says. Kevin twitches his eyebrows in agreement that it is, but not in the sense that Chima means. "OMG," Kevin migraines in the DR. "These girls are acting as if Jessie just got hit by a Mack truck and had been killed. I mean, he got evicted from Big Brother...This is ridonkulous." Chima even laughs affectionately about how Jessie wanted her out the first week. Kevin is more and more openly making faces like, "Who are we talking about again?" Jordan passes through and rejoins the party outside, which Michele is now part of, and tells them about the cryfest that's going on inside, as though the other group are the only ones who have lost friends from the house. You mean they're not? The morning, that gang of four is either again or still outside, happy to hear Michele say she wants Chima out. They all love the idea.
Michele brings everyone into the living room for the Have/Have Not competition. The players pair up into four teams: Jeff/Jordan, Michele/Russell, Natalie/Chima (or "Miserable Team Number 1," according to Jeff), and Lydia/Kevin (or, as Jeff calls them, "Half-miserable team.") They go outside to find casseroles everywhere. Some are in pans on table, but two very large ones are in pools at the bottom of slides. Michelle explains the rules of "Chaoserroles." It looks like they're all working together, trying to win food for every day of the week, plus a few extra rewards. The idea is to match casseroles by tasting them. Russell and Michelle go first. They find a pair and set it on the "no cold showers" platform, while Jeff and Natalie snipe at each other from the sidelines. Jordan and Jeff go and opt for food for Sunday. Kevin and Lydia get Wednesday food. When it's Chima and Natalie's turn, they take their time because they're still pissed enough at the house to wreck things for themselves. It goes on like this for a while, with sliding and tasting and sniping. When ten minutes are up, it's time to reveal the results. They blew Monday, but Tuesday through Sunday are correct, as is the barbecue grill, no cold showers, but no steak & lobster dinner. Not a bad showing, overall.
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Time for a getting-to-know-these-nutbars better sequence, in which the editors get to have a little fun with Lydia and her stuffed magical unicorn, "Dae Yum Yum." Lydia carries him around in the house, which I can't believe I haven't noticed. Even Kevin is annoyed. "It's kind of cute, but not that cute." As always, Kevin is Lydia's best friend.
Back in the slightly more real world, Russell asks Jordan if she likes Jeff that way. Jordan says maybe, if he lived in Charlotte, and Russell calls over to Jeff that she might date him. Jordan babbles, and then Jeff asks her to marry him. So they're engaged now. Congratulations. I really hope they're joking.
Natalie comes up to ask what Michele is thinking, and all Michele will tell her is that she's choosing between four people to nominate. We know who, but the editing tells us it's Natalie, Chima, Lydia, and Kevin. Natalie reminds Michele of Russell's past behavior and that he's not on her side, whatever he may be saying to her now. Michele says she's after one person. Speaking of whom, Chima arrives just as Natalie is leaving, and Michele tells Chima she won't like her nominations. Chima basically tells Michele the same thing Natalie did, and that if she keeps Russell, she's going home. Michele DRs that she's got doubts about this.
It's just about time for those nominations. As she stares at the memory wall, Chima DRs, "If she doesn't put Russell on the block, I'm going to question her ability to reason." Coming from Chima, that's got to sting. Russell is hoping that Michele will come through for him. Natalie at least admits that she hasn't had to fight in this game, which is true; she's pretty much been the Master to Jessie's Blaster all along. And as for Michele, she says her nominations are strategic as she loads up the key box.
Michele calls the nomination meeting and hauls in the key box, saying they've spent a lot of time together and made mistakes, but don't take this personally. She pulls Jordan's key, and the other safe people are Jeff, Russell, Kevin, and Lydia, leaving Natalie and Chima as the nominees. Michele tells Chima that she respects Chima as a strong woman and a fierce competitor, but won't take Michele to the final two. Michele tells Natalie that "someone had to be in the other slot, so here we are." The end.
Natalie boasts meaninglessly in the DR about how she's a force to be reckoned with, even with Jessie gone. Michele DRs, "Chima is the smartest person in the house besides me, and that makes her a huge threat." I'm not sure where to start with that statement. Russell smirks that what comes around goes around. And a dead-eye Chima DRs that she doesn't care that she's nominated. "This game is fucked, I'm fucked, my friends are fucked, so as far as I'm concerned, I don't care."
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And that's it. Which is a little disappointing, because I've read that some shit went down this week. I don't want to spoil anything, but the normal announcer sign-off asking us who will be evicted or whether the PoV will come into play? It's replaced by the same voice, asking us "what will happen?" to the two nominees and informing us that on Tuesday, "One houseguest self-destructs and is removed from the game." I'm actually looking forward to that. Seriously. Not only should it be interesting, but I'm always all over anything that gets rid of another houseguest.
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.
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