In the wake of Laura's eviction last Thursday, there are still 11 people in the house, but only one member of the "Popular" clique. Popularity can be a lonely business, right, Jordan? Ronnie Diary-Rooms that he's happy that he got rid of Laura, but has realized that it was at the cost of having the whole house turn against him. Russell, meanwhile, is still serving as this season's case study of the dangers of being locked in a house for weeks with nothing to do but experiment with different configurations of facial hair. He's talking in the Diary Room, but I can't even pay attention to what's coming out from under that Inglourious Basterds mustache he's rocking right now. Casey's even worse; he's a forty-year-old man slowly morphing into Mike Boogie, which is even more disturbing than the reverse.
You may also recall that Jessie is HoH for the second time this season. That's not the same as Jessie winning HoH for the second time this season, but he's so pleased with himself that he doesn't seem fully aware of the distinction. In the aftermath of Jessie's win, Ronnie whispers to himself, "Thank God." Because unlike Jeff and Casey, he realizes that Jessie's the one person who might cut him some slack when it comes time for nominations. Kevin busts him for it in the DR. Michele DRs that she has laid low thus far. Who is she again?
Afterward, inside the house, Casey and Kevin commiserate over the coming week, and another term with Natalie as "co-HoH." "It is what it is," Kevin sighs, which is one of my least favorite ways of hearing people say, "We're fucked."
While Casey is expressing his hope that Jessie will stick to the plan, Russell and Natalie are quietly asking him the same thing, directly. "I gotta do what's good for me," is all Jessie will say, which is not reassuring, nor is it intended to be. "I feel no obligation to put up Ronnie," Jessie shrugs in the DR. "He didn't lie to me." It's only Day 19, though. Russell, wisely back to his Mr. Clean look, claims that although he did want Ronnie out, he has since made a "secret deal" with Ronnie. Flash back to 29 hours ago, when Russell sneaks into the HoH room and says his relentless mocking is just an act, and he's going to "try to win it for us." Ronnie seems unconvinced as he wishes Russell luck.
Later, in the red room, Natalie and Russell have a whispered conversation about taking Casey out ASAP.
Russell's still hiding out, reading the Bible. Some viewers may be surprised to see that it does not appear to be burning him. Natalie sticks her head in and invites him to come sit with everyone out back. "You know you're good this week," she assures him, which is good enough for Ronnie.
Why is the answer to "Who wants to see my HoH room?" never "Nobody"? After seeing some photos of Jessie doing stuff like measuring his arms, Jordan tells us she's not impressed. Lydia, however, digs the photo of his motorcycle. Who said it was Jessie's motorcycle? Natalie teases Jessie about how she plans to wear a new t-shirt Big Brother gave him. Lydia is quietly not amused. For now.
Outside, Jeff and Casey discuss whether Jessie will stick to the plan of evicting Ronnie. Jordan's there too, but she's wearing that usual blank look indicating that this is all over her head. Natalie comes out, and Casey talks about some of the reasons Jessie might consider himself a target, and that he wouldn't want to add "saved Ronnie" to the list. Natalie sees right through the thin veil over that threat, and heads right in to report back to Jessie. Russell joins the twosome over the chessboard, and Natalie DRs about her influence over Jessie. "I would be ecstatic to see Ronnie stay and Casey go," she says.
Jessie and Lydia share an evening snuggle in the hammock out back. Lydia confesses in the DR to a "kindergarten crush" on Jessie. The music editors have some fun here, playing sensitive music as Lydia tries to talk to him about "angels" and then switching back and forth to goofy music every time Jessie interrupts her to ask if she's got fake eyelashes or a pierced tongue or to make her feel his hair. In the DR, Jessie talks about how Lydia is like a caterpillar, in her cocoon until someone lets her be a "beautiful butterfly." You, know, just like Jessie. The sad thing is that I think he's kind of serious.
Ronnie has decided to start mending fences, and he's beginning with Michele. Which I guess is like practice or warm-up. Even she's not buying it, though.
The Jessie/Lydia cuddlefest is in a new venue: the backyard couch. Lydia begs for a kiss on the cheek, and he just slaps one on there with his hand. I think that everyone except Lydia can clearly see what Jessie is just not that into, because there are no mirrors out there. Kevin, Lydia, and Natalie come outside, and suddenly the atmosphere becomes very tense. At least according to the background music. When Lydia goes to refill her water glass, Natalie snuggles up to Jessie causing some sever grumpiness from Lydia when she returns to find that not only is her spot taken, Jessie is massaging groans out of Natalie. Kevin DRs about the situation: "Lydia's into Jessie, Natalie's, into Jessie, Jessie's into Jessie, so Jessie's sitting pretty right now." Hee. Lydia, Kevin, and Chima head inside, so Natalie can talk shit about Lydia to Jessie. Who, in turn, is not as comfortable with the situation as Kevin might think. "It's not always a good thing to be ridiculously good-looking," Jessie DRs. Is that what Jeff told him?
Michele pays a visit to Jessie and Natalie in the HoH room, and clumsily says he can count on her. Jessie and Natalie aren't buying it for a minute, and they both seem aware that the only benefit they'll be able to derive from this conversation is to make Michele squirm awkwardly when they question her, which they exploit to the fullest. She was really better off just not interacting with anyone.
Let's check in with the have-nots, shall we? Well, this week, they consist, in their entirety, of Jordan. Chima's decision to put the Popular clique in there last week is looking smarter. Not that looking smarter than Jordan is all that difficult.
Jessie calls everyone together to tell them about this week's Have/Have-Not competition, which he does in an obnoxious fake hillbilly accent. We learn that only one person from each clique will be playing this week. Chima's playing for the Brains, and Kevin for Offbeat. Of course, Jordan's the only member of the increasingly misnamed Popular clique left, and the Athletes, being represented in the HoH room, get to sit this one out.
Out back, the yard has been decorated with a NASCAR theme. The goal is to drive these little carts around a race course, collect giant ice cubes from where they're hanging overhead, and then drop them into other teams' barrels. The clique with the most at the end is the Have-nots for the week. The added challenge is that they will be wearing "beer goggles," which are like safety goggles with really shitty optics. It's a surprisingly realistic simulation.
When the game starts, Kevin and Chima seem to be teaming up against Jordan, because it's safer to piss off only one other person. Jordan, oddly enough, seems to be right there with them, having quickly mastered the art of getting cubes in her own goal. After a few minutes, Big Brother ups the difficulty by spewing fake beer-foam over the course. Kevin DRs that he's actually going after the Brains so he can put Ronnie on slop.
When the results are totaled up, the Offbeats have 12, while Popular has only 11, which means Jordan is happy to be a Have. And the Brains have 13, which make this their second week of being the Have-Nots. Then they go inside and learn that America voted for them to have cabbage and cocktail weenies in addition to slop. Ronnie and Michele love the weenies, but Chima doesn't agree. "America, you suck," she DRs. And then she laughs. Let's hope she never plans to run for office or be nominated to a high court.
Jordan goes to the HoH room to present her case to Jessie and Natalie for evicting Ronnie. Really, all she wants is to not be the pawn again. Jordan then reports back to Jeff that Jessie says he's not planning to go against the house. Jeff wants to believe.
New America's vote, again for the H/H-N food: squash & squid, Brussels sprouts & borscht, or liverwurst & black licorice? How about letting America vote on something better? That would be my vote.
Kevin and Russell swing in the hammock and talk relationships. Russell says he gets bored in relationships, and "ran out" of girlfriends. Whereas Kevin is in a nine-year relationship, which Russell seems to totally respect, both to Kevin's face and in the DR. Aww.
Lydia sets up the conflict that's about to erupt: with all the rotating between beds and bedrooms as a result of the Have-Not bedcube in the mix, , Natalie is the only person who hasn't changed beds or shared with someone. So let's sit back and watch this ignite. While people are discussing the sleeping arrangements for the week, Lydia calls Natalie out for her inflexibility, and then decides to prove her point by staying up all night. Nice way to show she's the grown-up here. Out in the back yard alone with Kevin, he tells her this is a terrible idea. Meanwhile, up in the HoH room, Natalie tells Jessie that she's done talking to Lydia. Which I can only assume is her way of maintaining her cover as an 18-year-old. In fact, she wants Jessie to put Lydia up, although she won't say so in as many words.
Jessie goes to Lydia to invite her to talk, but Lydia isn't any more interested in talking to Natalie than Natalie is in talking to her. Jessie at least has enough of a brain in his head not to enjoy being caught between two petulant nutcases.
Nominations today. Jessie thoughtfully looks over the memory wall, adding to the alleged drama by taking out a few keys to look at the names. Meanwhile, Casey DRs that Jessie had better evict Ronnie, who in turn says he feels as safe as he could with Jessie as HoH. Michele frets that nobody cares if she leaves. For once, she's nailed it. Jessie again says this is about himself, and he has someone in mind to get rid of.
Everyone gathers around for the nomination ceremony. As always, the HoH's clique-mates are safe, so Russell, Jeff, and Natalie get their keys right away. [I love this, saves so much time watching them pull keys out! -- Angel] The rest of the safe people, in order, are Chima, Kevin, Casey, Lydia, and... Ronnie. So much for the plan. That leaves Michele and Jordan as the nominees. Jessie declines to explain himself: "That's it," is all he says by way of adjourning the meeting. At least he's pissed off the entire house pretty much evenly. Michele tries to stay positive, but Jordan DRs her hope that she and Michele are just pawns so Ronnie can be backdoored. Jessie does share some of his warped thoughts with us in the DR; he understates, "Michele and Jordan aren't exactly killer instinct competitors. More than likely, they're not going to win the PoV." So far, so good. Hopefully I can win the PoV. Then, fingers crossed, I can hopefully backdoor someone I really want out of this house." He's not sharing who that might be, though. As for Ronnie, he gloats over his pardon from Jessie. Whatever Ronnie's other weaknesses might be, he is if nothing else a champion gloater.
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.