After a quick rehash of Thursday's eviction of Renny, the remaining four houseguests give their reactions. Keesha's sad, Jerry says the only way his Head of Household term succeeded was that it kept him around for another week (which means "success" is a matter of perspective), and Memphis says that his to-do list for the week was completed when Renny left. Dan strategizes that Renny was too likable for anybody to risk facing the jury house alongside her. Keesha says that Renny's picture never should have gone monochrome, because she's just that colorful. Well, if that were true, the producers would have tried and failed, wouldn't they?
And then Dan won the HoH competition for the week. Dan is happy to have the key that he says represents his one-in-three chance of winning half a million, which I suspect would only be true if the winner were selected at random. Memphis is glad things are still going well for the Renegades. "If Dan puts me on the block again, I'm gonna hurt him," he adds. Keesha is a little worried about herself given the closeness she sees between Dan and Memphis, and Jerry says that with the rest of the house against him, he needs to work on breaking up the other three.
And then they all go inside to find that sumo wrestler parked on a small bench in the middle of their sofa sectionals. After sitting expressionlessly through their initial reaction of confusion, he recites his Japanese phrase ("I am sitting on the information you need"), and everyone stands around wondering what's . He stands briefly, and everyone's too intimidated by this apparent threat to notice the black envelope he's been sitting on before he plants his ass back down on it. The time he stands, he does that side-stomping thing a couple of times before sitting down. After a few more cycles of this, with the guest remaining standing longer each time, Dan is the first to notice the envelope. He waits for the right moment to snatch it, and does so successfully without losing a hand, or worse. He opens it up and reads a message to the effect that a luxury competition is coming up that could affect the game. The visitor bows, picks up his bench, and carries it out through the door to the Diary Room, leaving the rest of them to speculate baselessly on what it all means.
Dan and Memphis and Keesha hang out in the bedroom, talking about what it's going to take to get rid of Jerry. Well, Jerry not winning PoV this week would be a good start. Mainly, Keesha is worried about Memphis and Dan taking her to the final three. She ends up out on the porch alone, missing Renny and feeling isolated. Well, that's one thing she and Jerry have in common, although at least he's not crying about it.
Memphis and Jerry hang out on the back porch later, with Jerry talking shamelessly about his kids' needs. Jerry suggests that everyone in the jury house has expressed plans to vote for a woman in the finals, so maybe Keesha should be the one to go. Either he's lying or he's desperate, but I'm not ruling out both.
Jerry, Memphis, and Keesha hang out on the porch watching a spider spin a web above their heads. This would be Ted, the only pet they have. Memphis decides to help the spider out by finding a moth to toss in the web. Keesha protests at the moth's death, but when Memphis tosses it at the web, it's already dead so the spider's got no interest. As Dan comes out, Memphis tries again, this time taking care to keep the second moth alive. In the DR, Dan warns us to avert our eyes if we have a weak stomach (he's making this too easy, saying that on camera without a shirt on). And when Memphis tosses the live moth in there, the spider sprints down to it and wraps herself around it, setting the whole web vibrating while something that looks like wisps of smoke pours off of both tiny bodies. It's the most compelling thing we've seen all season.
Time for Dan's HoH room tour, and the editors have a little fun by showing nobody in the house when he announces the invitation. Crickets and everything. Once he finds them on the porch and leads them upstairs, Jerry diplomatically points to how fat Dan looks in a graduation picture (Dan doesn't). Dan reads his HoH letter to the houseguests, which has some love for them as well. "Even Jerry, dot dot dot," it says. Yeah, that's being charitable.
While the houseguests sleep, things have gotten a little surreal in the back yard. There's a giant plaster ear, a tub of mud, a giant hot dog, a gorilla suit, and a contortionist in a rubber leotard, among other things. It's like a Magritte painting come to life, if Magritte had no sense of composition, theme, or shame. After a moment the gorilla suit comes alive and enters the house, going straight to the DR. It sits down in front of the camera and says they'll be surprised to see him back in the house. Pulling off the mask, Jessie says, "I mean, who else can fill out this suit?" Besides all the stuff in my freezer, he means? He puts the mask back on and heads out into the house.
And this is the moment they pick to stick in a notice looking for applicants for the season. No thank you.
Memphis and Keesha wake up to a capering idiot in a gorilla suit screaming at them. Jerry already seems to be awake when the gorilla comes in and just drops his "I served with pride" hat on the floor. Dan is awakened by hammering on his door. And as Jessie leads the bleary-eyed houseguests to the back door, Memphis deadpans in the DR, "Why wouldn't you follow a strange gorilla running around your house?"
Out in the yard, Dan is the one to read the instructions, such as they are, while everyone stands around looking at the nonsensical items littering the yard. Apparently the yard contains clues to a phrase that may help in the game, and the one who guesses it first will win the luxury competition, which includes a trip outside the house. They have three hours to make three guesses. Dan says, "Go," which triggers some puzzled milling about the yard staring at the bizarre artifacts while Jessie in the gorilla suit silently mocks them. Fairly early on, Jerry rings the bell to make his first guess: "Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil," on the basis of the giant ear and a bespectacled stuffed emu. I don't know what he's using as the "speak no evil" indicator, unless it's his own dire need to shut up. While he's inside making his guess, Jessie throws a tarp over the small crashed spaceship, indicating that's not one of the clues. After examining a stuffed wolf, Keesha guesses "Where sleeping dogs lie," which is not even a saying, plus that stuffed dog is more alert than I am after an hour of this show. After 26 minutes, Jerry watches the emu getting covered up and realizes his first guess was wrong. And then the ear gets covered as well. "Now I got it," Memphis says sarcastically. Some helpful editing leads my to my first guess: a giant blueberry, a cracking egg with the word "It" on it, and the tub of mud. Bury the hatchet? And then they have to dig it out of the tub? I don't know.
Jerry rings the bell to make his second guess, based on the giant diamond ring and the contortionist: "Diamonds are a girl's best friend." Has Jerry done The Artist's Way or something? Because I think maybe he's had a little too much success in silencing his internal editor. The gorilla then covers up a big yellow wedding cake and the statue of Julius Caesar, then cracks everyone up with a little dance on his way to covering the tub of mud. Keesha makes a guess, looking at the blueberry and the big cracking egg "It:" "Blue It." The significance of her guess does not escape her.
After a while longer, the contortionist gets up and leaves without ever having said a word, despite Dan's protests. Jerry makes his third guess: "A dog is a man's best friend." The other three talk about his cockiness, but as soon as Jerry's back, the hot dog gets covered. And so does the diamond ring, so Jerry figures he struck out. He regrets blowing his wad early.
Finally there's nothing left uncovered but the blueberry and the hatching "It." Keesha is inspired to make her final guess: "Don't count your chickens before your eggs are hatched." Which is also not exactly how the saying goes, but then my wife's even more tragic handicap where sayings are concerned prevents me from going after Keesha too much here. Memphis is still clueless. And eventually, Dan comes up with "Bury the hatchet" for his first guess. And Memphis, just so he's not the only one who didn't even guess, comes up with "fruitless exit," knowing full well that it's nonsensical and hopeless. And with that, the three hours are up. Jessie makes some more mocking gestures, and as he walks past Jerry to shake his hand, he blows his cover by... making a fart noise. He goes into the DR and gloats at the camera from behind the mask, and the houseguests reenter the house to find a gorilla glove hanging under Jessie's photo on the memory wall. Yeah, Jessie, you sure showed them a thing or two about a thing or two. Believe it or not, it's actually possible to successfully mock Big Brother players without getting all sweaty in a gorilla suit for three hours. Yes, it took me a couple of weeks to figure that out, but I'm never going back.
They all sit in the living room to watch the monitor, and it tells them that Dan won the competition with his correct guess of "bury the hatchet." Hey, like I said earlier, I'm fully prepared to give the editors credit for cluing me in. Dan is then called to the DR, where he finds an envelope telling him that he's won "a helicopter trip to a remote island beach for a day." And the game-changing part is that he can bring someone with him: either a current houseguest or a jury member. Dan thinks out loud as he rules out both Keesha and Memphis on the grounds that it'll arouse suspicions with the other. Funny, Jerry's name fails to come up entirely. Considering the jury members, he decides to take Michelle, seeing as how the fact that she lost a trip and got backdoored means she has the most hurt feelings to soothe. Don't expect too much, Dan; it's only a one-day trip. But then that might be as much one-on-one time with Michelle as he could stand. Dan goes to rejoin his fellow houseguests to tell them part of the news; he's got no intention of telling anyone that he's allowed to bring a jury member. When he returns, he tells them that he had to decide whether to bring anyone, and eventually decided to go alone. Jerry speculates that Dan's going to meet the whole jury there, and in the DR expresses his frank surprise that Dan isn't taking Memphis along. Dan starts worrying that this could backfire when the two players get to the jury house and learn the truth from Michelle. Yeah, that's the thing about Dan: he's great at thinking things 75% of the way through.
With nominations coming up, Dan and Memphis discuss contingency plans in case Memphis doesn't win the Power of Veto. At this point, they're thinking that it might be safest for Memphis to get nominated, just to keep the Renegades on the DL. Yeah, and if Memphis goes to the jury house, I think that'll put an end to any suspicions as well.
And as Dan deliberates over his nominations, Memphis DRs that he trusts Dan (I guess because it's an odd-numbered day), Jerry says that he feels alone in the house and fully expects to be nominated, and Keesha is worried about how close Dan and Memphis have become and what it's going to mean for her. Dan, wearing a samurai headband, which was sent from home, along with his "TAKEN" t-shirt, DRs that his goal is to make sure he and Memphis get to the finals. Although he says it more toolishly.
When Dan starts the nomination ceremony, with that one key left in the giant key box, he predictably makes a speech congratulating them all on getting this far before pulling the key out. And it's Keesha's key, leaving Memphis and Jerry as the nominees. Dan doesn't say much to them other than, "This PoV is going to be a battle for the ages." Memphis DRs about how he and Dan decided together to take this risk. So I gather that Memphis will not be hurting Dan after all, as previously promised. Jerry DRs about how pissed Memphis is about being nominated again, and how Jerry plans to use this split between former allies to his advantage. Which is going to be tough, with that fishhook in his mouth. Keesha, likewise, is taking her salvation at face value, chirping happily about how much Dan likes her. And Dan comprehensively congratulates himself: "I've covered up the Renegade alliance, won the HoH, tricked a sumo wrester, won a luxury challenge, and I have a trip coming up that could win me at least one vote in the jury house." As long as Michelle doesn't physically harm him, like she said she wanted to in last week's episode. I mean, Dan's luck has to break at some point. Right?
Big Brother is almost over, find out what new fall shows you should fill your time with. And, meet the crazy new cast of the Amazing Race 13 and get our early predictions for who will win.
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.