Two evenings in a row of Julie is kind of a lot, and I'm pretty sure I can see her bra. Anyway, even though I totally thought Adam had betrayed Ryan by keeping Sheila, Julie informs us that last night's eviction was actually a result of a deal cut between Adam and Ryan. Well, that's disappointing; I was hoping to see a beating. We'll learn more about that deal later.
But first, we rejoin the houseguests in the first round of a three-round HoH competition. They're still hanging onto those waterskiing tow ropes while freezing water flows under them and rains onto them. The boys seem fine, but Sheila is complaining bitterly. Adam asks Sheila what she's complaining about, since Sheila wasn't even supposed to be in the game at this point. But that's the thing about Sheila: she's always got something to complain about.
But Adam's remark triggers a flashback to Sharon's eviction, and Sheila's emotional reaction to it in the DR. Ryan, in turn, DRs that he did in fact want Sharon out, and is glad Adam did his "dirty work" for him. And Adam is glad to have strengthened his bond with Sheila, for some unknown reason.
And then we get a flashback-within-a-flashback, to an hour before the eviction. Adam DRs that it's better for him to keep Sheila, rather than have to face the threat of the much more competitive Sharon in the final three. He may have a point; it's not like Sharon won a whole lot more competitions than Sheila did, but she didn't lose them by as much. Adam goes to Ryan to make his case, and Ryan actually seems fairly receptive to the idea that Sheila will be easier to beat in the final three. "She's an old lady, dude!" Adam says. Yep, there's that bond he was talking about.
And then we're back into the regular flashback, as Sheila cries post-eviction and DRs emotionally about how she wants to make it to the end of the game with Adam.
So then we're back to the HoH competition, and Sheila's having flashbacks of her own. Apparently, years ago, she had a near-drowning experience in Hawaii during a hurricane. Knowing what we know now, it becomes clear that Adam and Ryan are taunting Sheila to get her to drop out of the competition. Which she does, fairly quickly. As she goes inside to dry off and warm up, Ryan and Adam make some final negotiations, and after they agree that Ryan will boot Sheila in return for Adam booting Sharon, Adam drops. And that's Ryan as the winner of the first round. Adam sees himself in a win-win situation, since both of the other players see him as being on their side. If Adam actually is on either of their sides, he's not sharing with us.
Julie tells us that now Sheila and Adam will face off in the second round, and later, there's going to be another eviction to determine the final two. Yeah, I think I might have head something about that earlier.
Time for round two of the HoH competition. They have to play one at a time. Adam goes first, and reads the instructions for the cameras. Out in the back yard, there's a big human-sized exercise wheel with a giant maze installed vertically inside it. Inside the maze is a collection of balls, representing past HoHs. What the players have to do is turn the wheel in such a way as to roll the balls out of the maze. And then they have to arrange the HoHs in the correct order on a nearby wall. As the editors cut back and forth between the two players, Adam talks about the challenge this represents, while Sheila complains about how she doesn't like things with spinning or motion or indeed any kind of competition or challenge at all. Seriously, has there been any competition that she thought played to her strengths except the one with the wine bottles? And of course we know how that turned out.
At the end of the competition, Ryan reveals Sheila's time: thirty-three minutes, twenty-six seconds. Which, compared to Adam's 14:55, is pretty pathetic. I would go so far as to call it Sheila-pathetic. I'm not actively pulling for her to win, but I'm getting pretty frustrated with her for her consistently crappy performances in competitions. At least try to make this interesting for me. But with the HoH now a tossup between Adam and Ryan, it's not looking good for Sheila right now.
Later, in the kitchen, Sheila leans on Adam to win the final stage tomorrow so he can take Sheila to the end. Adam gives his usual reassurances. Ryan arrives and Sheila leaves, and Ryan congratulates Adam on proving his loyalty and carrying out their plan so perfectly. But then Adam, who just told Sheila he never counts his chickens before they hatch, talks about how he's about to win $500,000, which makes Ryan wonder in the DR if Sheila might not be a better final rival. Of course he does. You're not faking me out again, Ryan. I'm done listening to you telling me you're thinking about zigging when we all know you're not even going to zag. As for Adam, he figures he's in good shape: either Ryan will win and take him to the final, or he'll win and be HoH. But who will he evict in that event? Even he doesn't know. Or so he claims.
Julie talks to the final three on viewscreen. Sheila says she feels helpless, and can only hope that the guys will keep her. Well, that strategy has served her well in the game up to now. Julie asks her how Adam looks to her now, and of course Sheila is all about Adam right now. Quite a departure from last night's bitching about being shackled to him.
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Julie begins Sheila's Chenterview by remarking that Sheila looks devastated. Doesn't miss a trick, that one. Sheila admits as much, saying she thought that Adam would win and keep her, since they were working together all along. Yes, she lost two out of three competitions that she needed to win, but Adam let her down. Julie asks how Sheila can use this experience can teach her son, since she's leaving with no money and all. My answer would boil down to one lesson: "Do as I say, not as I do." But Sheila non-answers that leaving her son for three months to try to make their lives better is the hardest thing she's ever done. Because everything's the hardest thing she's ever done at one time or another. Julie's emotion chip kicks in as she says Sheila should feel good about getting to the final three. Sheila admits as much, but is still in shock. Julie asks if she has any regrets, like for instance giving up in the first stage of the HoH competition like a giant wuss. Sheila claims not to, but she's not exactly coherent right now. I mean, less coherent than usual. I know I'm coming off as unsympathetic here, but I'm really kind of irritated with her for not even being a speed bump on Ryan and Adam's sprint to the final two.
Farewell messages: Ryan calls her the mother of the house and the most emotional person in the house. Sheila manages not to have a fresh meltdown in reaction to that. Adam tells "Big She" that he misses her already, and they got this far together. Julie asks if Sheila will stay friends with Adam, and Sheila says she will. Well, I guess we'll see what Adam has to say about that. End of Chenterview.
Julie congratulates the final two on the viewscreen and calls them "the ultimate bro-mance." They both agree that they're BFF, and Julie tells them we'll see them Sunday when one of them is chosen as the winner. Really? It has to be one of these two? There are no other options at all?
Finally, the "let's eavesdrop" segment consists of Adam and Ryan talking very little and moving furniture back into place. Thrilling! See you Sunday, when we finally put this season into its shitty little bed.
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com
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