Slide-guitar into the end of the nomination ceremony. Daniele hugs her nominees. Amber? Cries. Jameka DRs that she doesn't understand how Daniele can say that Jameka and Amber are threats because they're nice. Amber DRs that Daniele's nomination just "fueled" her "fire," and that she feels like she's "busting out of a cage." As Jameka and Amber commiserate in the bathroom, Eric comes wandering in, all hangdog like he's playing a Big Brother contestant in a silent movie, and tells Jameka and Amber that he thought it was going to be him. Jameka's sort of "whatever" about it, and then DRs that for him to say that when he has a secret alliance is like a slap in the face to her. In her defense, this little interlude does seem kind of over the top, not that there's anything that could happen now that Jameka wouldn't see through the gauze of her own self-pity.
Speaking of which, Jameka decides that the best place to have a moment alone is on the round couch directly outside the HoH room. She's lying there moping when Daniele returns, and asks how Jameka's doing. Jameka mumbles that she's fine. Daniele offers to talk -- probably assuming that's what Jameka wants, given where she is -- and Daniele's like, "Well...I'll leave you to it, then," and DRs that Jameka's taken her nomination a lot harder than Daniele thought she would. She does not add that now Jameka's god will be angry with her, though I suspect that's what Jameka's thinking.
Out on the hammock, Jessica and Jen discuss the nominations; Jen asks after Jameka, and Jessica says she's okay. Jen muses that she is starting to think that they made a mistake in voting Dustin out when they had a chance to excise Dick instead, and that Dick and Daniele are just going to act like a two-headed HoH and rampage through the house or whatever the hell. Jessica lies fairly well, noncommittally shrugging and saying that Dick and Daniele's "time will come." Jen adds that she's noticed that Dick's and Daniele's nominees never end up being the people they actually send home, and wonders if Daniele's doing the same this week, and if so, whom they'd nominate as a replacement (and she earns a few more gold stars from me for not using the expression "backdoor"). Jen says she doesn't think Daniele would nominate either Jen or Jessica, but she can't think who else Daniele would substitute in place of Jameka or Amber. Yes, the possibilities really are limitless.
So then we cut to what we're supposed to think are our two lovebirds -- Jessica and Eric -- loitering in one of the tall beds. Apparently, Eric knows muay thai, and offers to show Jessica an Ultimate Fighting move: the clinch. Jessica DRs that there's something about a guy who can wrestle that she likes, and we're supposed to think she means Eric, though she doesn't use any names, which instantly makes me suspicious. Anyway, he coaches her to set up the clinch, and then executes it, clasping his fingers together at the back of her neck. Hilariously, the speed of the playback slows down and the editors add all this kind of ecstatic harp music to make us think this is the moment when Jessica realized that she was really in love with Eric (for real, all that's missing are the cartoon bluebirds alighting on her shoulders), and when he breaks the clinch, she's like, "Wow." Though that could be about how greasy Eric's hands were. Who's to say?
Anyway, at this point Zach comes in to execute another move: the cock block. He marches in and goes straight for the thermostat, complaining that it's hot in there. In the DR, he straight-up declares that Eric has no game, and that any time it seems like he might be about to score with a lady, Zach rolls in and breaks it up. Which earns him a few more gold stars from me, too. He starts by climbing into bed, half-lying on Eric and getting him all gay-panicky, and then cannily gets Jessica to demonstrate the clinch on him. When she's got him in position, he ends up with a faceful of her rack, and responds with the expected "a-OOO-gah"s and so forth. Eric, all about procedure, orders Jessica to get Zach with her elbows, but she's still giggling about Zach's reaction to her chest, and Eric is hilariously pissed off about it, totally not noticing how much Jessica's enjoying flirting with Zach. He settles in with his back between her legs, putting his head on her chest, and Eric's all, "Bold move! Inappropriate!" Jessica's still totally chill and loving the attention. Eric quietly loses his shit -- which is, of course, the sign of a true ladies' man.
In the hammock, Amber tells Jameka that she's done with Jessica and Eric. Jameka advises her to "be cool" with them, though Amber regards Jessica as "a sneaky, selfish, twenty-one-year-old bitch" (whereas Amber's left her child with others because she's playing for a cash prize she plans to donate to Amnesty International -- you know, as soon as someone explains to her what "amnesty" means. And "international"). Anyway, it turns out Amber doesn't need to play nice with Jessica and Eric: she's had a vision of herself winning the PoV, which she takes as God's way of preparing her for the week ahead. Jesus Christ, not this again! Jameka either believes in Amber's vision or plays along convincingly (by not altering the speed or timbre of her voice, or by changing her facial expression -- you know, acting the same as she always does). On the hammock, Amber announces that she is done crying (I wish I could believe that this time. I really do) -- she's going to prove to her family that she can do this -- and as she tries to make this same point in the DR, she? Cries. But only a tiny bit.
America has provided Eric with a messed-up stuffed animal he must pass off as his childhood woobie and give to Jessica. And then he does, making up a whole tale about how it's a good-luck charm for him. Jessica accepts this gift but doesn't seem at all moved by it, no matter how much the plinky music tries to make us think this moment is special or taking their relationship to the level or whatever the hell. It doesn't help that every time the camera cuts to Eric's face, it looks like there's a freaking spotlight on the ironing board in the corner. Anyway: TASK COMPLETED.
In the HoH, Zach and Daniele talk about how bored they are and how long they've been there. Zach and Daniele are both sick of Dick, and of Jameka and Amber moping around, and of Jen. Hey, Daniele and Zach? WE'RE SICK OF ALL OF YOU. The subject turns to Jen: she's a liar, she gave up half the money, she's a loose cannon, they're over her. Zach DRs that he's a "silent assassin," like it really takes a lot of effort to turn Daniele against Jen.
Time to pick players for the Veto Competition. But guess what! The two finalists in this game get to take a special trip outside the house -- so now everyone cares. Daniele pulls the "Houseguest's Choice" ball and, obviously chooses Dick. Amber pissily picks Jessica. Jameka picks Zach, which totally bums me out; I was so hoping that Jameka would pick Jen, and then Jen would veto her to pay her back for having vetoed Jen that time, and then Daniele would be fucked because she couldn't nominate Jen as a replacement. But alas, none of that happened.
After the name-pick, Jen and Eric pout that they don't get to play.
In the kitchen, Amber is still excitedly going on about her vision to Jameka when Dick comes in to wish them good luck, bitchily adding that the people in the house who are famous for "taking dives" won't this time, because of the trip component. This takes the wind out of Amber's sails, and in the DR, Jameka complains about what a problem greed is. In this game. Where she is also competing for a large cash prize. But I'm sure that if she wins, she plans to give it all to her church.
So, Veto Competition. For no good reason, the players end up sitting on motorcycles. Well, maybe the reason is so that Dick can say how much he loves "choppers" and DR that the game was tailored for him, because in case you haven't read his Suicidal Tendencies shirt, he is a total bad-ass. The game requires the players to guess, by percentage, how Big Brother fans answered in a poll about the show. It's a lot like that show Card Sharks, except that there's a huge prop odometer to show the answer. Dick goes out on the first round. Gee, and this time we know he didn't throw it, so he must just be an idiot. Zach goes out on the second round. Jessica goes out in the third round. It's around here that Amber starts gripping the cross on her necklace and praying and carrying on like a tool. The question is about whether Nick is greater than Mike, which I thought for sure would have Daniele wildly overestimating and thus going out, but in fact Jameka overestimates even worse than Daniele and goes out here. In the DR, Jameka graciously doesn't blame God. Amber's twitching and mugging kicks into overdrive, and she DRs about how much she wanted Jameka to win: "Once again, I put everyone else ahead of myself." Oh, and as she's saying this, she? Cries. This time I guess she's crying about how magnanimous she is -- which would, of course, make one emotional. Anyway, this means that Daniele and Amber will be going on the mystery trip. Daniele claps excitedly. Amber not-at-all-quietly loses her fucking mind. She prays and kisses her cross pendant and? Cries. And then loses the competition to Daniele. I guess now I should reject God?
After the game, Jen says she was happy Daniele won because she wants the nominations to stay the same. Dick cheers that Daniele is "tearing through this place," and that he's glad she's on his side. Amber and Jameka hug -- Amber still admirably dry-eyed -- and Jameka reminds her that Daniele may still use the veto. Amber DRs that she's "starting to lose a little faith" because God is being such an unco-operative dick (I'm paraphrasing). Jameka, for her part, robotically DRs that all the odds are against her, but that she isn't giving up. As Amber applies some lip balm with a violently shaking hand (and you guys, seriously, I really hope when she gets out of this place that she gets some help for her mood swings, because it's clearly an impairment in her day-to-day life), Daniele comes skipping over for hugs from her nominees. Jameka's is brief, but Amber starts fucking BAWLING and holding on for dear life. Daniele whispers, "Anything can happen," and slips out of Amber's creepy embrace before Amber fucking squeezes her to death like the bunny in Of Mice And Men. Once she's gone, Jameka comes back, and Amber excitedly reports what Daniele told her. Jameka doesn't seem to put much stock in that. Amber professes that she's still trying to keep her faith, and Jameka says that your faith can still be strong, but God's going to do what He's going to do. Then there are more hugs, and since there's little more to say, Jameka guesses that Amber's just spoiling for, what else, a big cry, and is like, "You go knock yourself out," because even Jameka has had it with Amber's histrionics. Amber decides the best place to go for a cry is on the edge of the yard where everyone else is, to make sure they can all see her make a spectacle of herself. And then she has...like, diarrhea of the tear duct. It's really unseemly.
After commercials, Dick wants to celebrate Daniele's PoV win, but when he goes to hug her, she slides away from him. Wow, she really is sick of his ass. In the bathroom, she tells Dick that she's thinking of offering to veto Amber's nomination, if Amber will agree not to put Daniele up if Amber wins the HoH. Now, I see where she's going with this. Her real target, as she's already said, was Jen. But this is not a good deal for Daniele, given that the odds of Amber winning anything are terrible. I mean, come on. She sucks. Furthermore, I don't want to watch her anymore. But Dick thinks that's a good idea, and Daniele takes off before he can try to hug her again.
Outside, Amber and Jameka talk some more about Amber's vision and how real it was. Jameka's like, "You'll be here for another week," but she doesn't seem too thrilled about it. Now, I don't follow the feeds, so I don't know if there was some prior conversation where Jameka said she wasn't going to campaign or make any bargains with anyone for anying, so maybe there's a context for what follows that makes it less...imbecilic. But since all I can go on is what CBS airs: Amber then makes the boneheaded move of asking Jameka -- her friend and current fellow nominee -- what sorts of things she should offer Daniele in order to get Daniele to veto her nomination. If I were Jameka, I would be throwing out all kinds of stupid ideas basically as dares, and Amber would go along with them, because Amber clearly has some kind of learning disability, if not a more serious mental deficiency that should, once she leaves this house, involve her losing her driver's license and possibly the right to vote. Anyway, Jameka DRs that Daniele is closer to Amber, and that she expects that, if Daniele were to reverse her nominations, it would be to veto Amber's. Jameka tells Amber to do whatever she thinks will work, but not to do anything crazy -- and to keep in mind that Dick and Daniele probably won't go for a one-week deal; they will ask her for a deal for final four. Amber says that would be a lie. Jameka adds that Amber will probably be asked to swear on her daughter's life. Amber vehemently promises that she won't do that, because it would be a lie, but then she almost immediately backpedals, saying she doesn't know what will happen.
So are you ready for Strategy, Amber-Style? It's kind of awesome. Amber calls Daniele into the HoH room and gets right to it, saying that she's willing to make a deal in exchange for Daniele's vetoing her nomination; she asks whether Daniele had anything in mind. Daniele says that she'll veto Amber's nomination if Amber will agree not to nominate her, in the event that Amber is the HoH. Amber immediately agrees, and the editors (awesomely) add a "ding!" on the soundtrack. Daniele, however, is a somewhat more talented negotiator than Amber, and instead of shaking on it or anything, she just waits. And sure enough, Amber can't handle the silence, and it becomes a fire sale: everything Amber has of any value whatsoever MUST GO! If Amber should ever become HoH, she won't put Daniele on the block. Ding! She won't backdoor her, either -- she swears on her daughter. Ding! Daniele presses her lips together in order not to start laughing at her amazing luck. However Daniele wants Amber to vote this week, Amber will comply. Ding! Daniele speaks up, saying that Amber surely won't vote against Jameka, but nay! Amber won't like to see Jameka go, but she'll do that if Daniele asks. Ding! "Whenever my HoH time comes, you are safe, guaranteed." Ding ding ding ding ding! At this, Daniele can't help breaking into a huge grin, and in the DR, she says that she was willing to settle for a lot less, but that Amber just kept offering Daniele more safety, so obviously she had to take it. Oh, it is really not fair to let "special" contestants play this game. The conversation over, the ladies hug. Daniele orders Amber to quit smiling.
Outside, Eric and Dick celebrate that after the HoH, their four-person alliance will control the rest of the game. Dick tells Eric that they'll be inserting Jen as the replacement nominee. Eric says she wouldn't be his choice, but that he sees the logic. He DRs that he would have offered Zach, but that it's a new alliance, so he doesn't want to rock the boat; Zach can go week. Daniele comes out, whining that she's still up at 2 AM, and then DRs that she's still not sure she's going to veto Amber after all. Possibly she heard Amber crying in her sleep and remembered how annoying she is.
Veto Ceremony. Jameka flatly says she doesn't expect Daniele to change her nominations. Amber gets up and lasts several seconds before she starts to cry. She manages to say a bunch of things that are true while not betraying that she already knows how this scene is going to end, saying that she'd love to come off the block, and that this week has been tremendously hard for her: she lost Dustin, she's on slop, and she's nominated. Damn, that is a crappy week. Daniele watches with only the tiniest glimmer of a smirk as Amber babbles on. Daniele speeches that there are big competitors in the house who've been playing the game since Day 1, and since she regards that as a threat, she's weighed her options, and is vetoing Amber's nomination. Amber hugs her and takes her seat on the Couch of Safety, leaving room for...Jen, who bounces up there looking pretty sanguine. Daniele says that "there are some people" for whom winning the money -- the whole amount, not the half Jen gave up that time -- would be life-changing, and that Daniele doesn't want to "steal that away" from that hypothetical other person who might be Daniele and might not be. Jen shrugs, looking unconcerned. Daniele adjourns the meeting.
Daniele recaps that this is Jen's fourth nomination, but that she won't be getting off the block this time. Jameka's not giving up. Jen: "When I'm still here week, Daniele and Dick will definitely be my target for the rest of the season." You guys, seriously, at this point that's the only epic battle I could stand to care about. "She's a cheat, and he's disgusting!" Aaaaand now I love Jen. Because: exactly.
Oh, and then the fucking mystery trip. In the DR, Amber and Daniele learn that they're going to go play The Power Of Ten, that new show that rips off Card Sharks. There's like a ninety-minute commercial for the show, intercut with Amber and Daniele's excited looks. Big Brother contestants on Power Of Ten? That is some weak stuntcasting. And by the way, this mystery trip involves Amber and Daniele flying to New York, and I promise you this: if they cross my path, I'm going to bludgeon one of them with the other one.