Slide guitar into the moments after the Veto Ceremony. So: reactions? Well, Nick thinks he was nominated because he looks like a threat now, as opposed to Kail, who is (according to him) on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Kail is worried that, in not nominating Zach, as he'd said he was going to, Dustin has caused her to question everything else he's told her this week. Dustin DRs that Nick's nomination was a house decision, and that they took advantage of the situation to backdoor him. And Amber...okay, for real, I don't know how anyone can focus on what a "mess" Kail is when THEY LIVE WITH AMBER. BECAUSE JESUS. In the living room, she seriously is carrying on like she's just watched her child being drawn and quartered. It is so very excessive. I get the whole "camp boyfriend" phenomenon, and how in situations like this you get inordinately attached to people in a very short time because you're all isolated together from the outside world, but still. Amber is acting like when people walk out the front door, they go straight to the slaughterhouse or something. A well woman shouldn't behave like this.
In the HoH room, Dustin gives Kail an abridged version of how they got to Nick's nomination: it's a pre-emptive move. Kail can't believe that Amber went along with it, but Dustin says that's just the point -- getting Nick out means they cut off his alliance with Amber, and they give Dick and Daniele one less person to collude with. Kail asks if Dustin has four votes against Nick, and Dustin announces that he has more than four votes. Kail can't believe it. Dustin says that Nick would be a threat to everyone in the house going forward. Um, everyone is a threat to everyone in the house going forward. It's how the stupid game works. Whatever.
Anyway, it's clear that, in these moments, what Nick wants to do most is go punch some holes in some walls. But since he can't, instead he's stalking around the house, very fast, huffing and glaring and looking ridiculous. He finds Daniele sitting on a bed, looking grim, leans in, and asks her, quietly, whether she knew he was going to get nominated. She covers her face with her hands, and Nick, having his answer, gets up and stalks out to find his victim of awkwardness.
Turns out it's Dick, and Nick chats with him out in the yard. Nick has figured out that there was a shadow plan all along to backdoor him (pretty shrewd, given that HE JUST GOT NOMINATED), ruefully adding, "Expect the unexpected." Dick is silent, so Nick prods him, reminding him that he'd said he'd look out for Dick's daughter. Dick says he knows. Eric flops down, and Nick asks whether he knew about this. Eric starts his answer by guiltily stammering so much that Dick rolls his eyes, and then says that he'd heard all kinds of names bandied about; Dick agrees that it was "back and forth." Nick says that all he'd heard was that Dustin was going to nominate Zach (which: duh, it's not like people tell the nominee), and then Zach himself picks this inopportune time to come outside, and Nick barks at him to leave them alone for a second. Zach is momentarily taken aback, but then turns around, murmuring to Nick, "Thought I was close to you, dude." Nick wraps up with another "expect the unexpected," and then heads inside. In the kitchen, Zach is sitting morosely at the counter, wondering if there's an ice pack in the freezer that he can put on his hurt feelings.
Nick's goodwill tour continues in a bedroom, where Nick sits up on a bed and Amber lies to him, with her arms wrapped around his thigh. No, literally. And she's sobbing, of course. He tells her not to worry, and as she continues to cry, we flash back to her conversation with Dustin, where she initially noted that they could potentially backdoor Nick after the Veto Competition. Back in the now, Nick quietly asks whether Amber knew he was going to get nominated, and she hedges that Dustin had mentioned Nick but that she didn't think he would actually do it, and that he never confirmed it with her. At least part of that seems like straight lying, but anyway, Nick tells her again that it's okay, and says all he wants is to hang out with her and Daniele. "I love you so much!" sobs ridiculous Amber. Nick, more restrained, says he loves her too.
Bathroom. Daniele's collected herself enough to have a conversation with Nick on the loveseat in the bathroom. She says in so many words that she did know he was going to get nominated, but that she didn't want it to happen, and that she couldn't have told him. She asks him very seriously whether he voted to evict Kail last week; he says no, and blue-and-white footage confirms it. Daniele says that everyone thinks he did vote against the group, and Nick shrugs that they'll all look dumb after the game, then. Oh, I don't think it'll take that long for them to look dumb. Nick's still radiating rage waves, so Daniele tells him not to be mad at her, because she's trying to help him. Nick is not so sure, but he tells her that he wants her to know that his feelings for her are real. He never screwed her over, and had promised Dick that he never would. As Nick leaves, Daniele whines after him, and Nick tells her it's fine, but that it sucks that she knew all along and didn't say anything to him. Hard to argue with that, though maybe they really are just hanging out and don't have an alliance per se. Maybe they're the Big Brother game version of a couple who see other people.
Stomp stomp stomp. Nick confronts Dustin in a bedroom (where he's comforting a still-crying Amber) to show off how totally okay he is with his nomination. He says that it's a game, and that he's ready for anything, but that Dustin should have told him what was going to happen. Dustin says it wasn't that easy. Nick makes a big deal of saying how he just wants people to be honest to his face, and that he'd asked to know if he was going to be nominated and that Dustin should have told him, and Dustin keeps nodding sagely because he knows it's all a moot point anyway. Nick stomps out, and Amber...starts crying again. She's going to dehydrate herself at this rate.
In the bedroom with the round beds, Kail and Jen are hanging out and Dick is apparently rooting through some trash when suddenly he gets a wild hair and starts berating Jen AGAIN for throwing the Veto Competition. Jen says, rightly, that she didn't tell Jameka to use the Veto on her if she won it (which is probably a better tack than denying that she threw it, when it's pretty clear she did), but Dick isn't having it, calling Jen a bitch and a scumbag and, tellingly, ordering her to get that smug look off her face, so that, in case you weren't sure, you can definitely tell that what bothers him most is not how badly Jameka was used by Jen, but that his abuse of Jen isn't getting a rise out of her, like, at all. As the Dick soundtrack of lame '80s guitars picks up in intensity (and Kail unobtrusively gets up and drifts out), Dick runs down how she took her mother's photo off the wall when she was HoH and how she took a piece of candy when she was four and other character flaws of Jen's that are offensive to Dick's delicate sensibilities. Jen insists that she's not a bad person. Dick says that Saddam Hussein thought he was a good person too (because...that's the same), and that Jen is a fucking piece of shit and is going to get the life she deserves. As Dick paces like a junkie, Jen starts egging him on, and he comes to stand at the foot of her bed (she's lying on her stomach, looking over her shoulder at him), and I swear to God, I didn't know if this scene was going to end with him punching her, or worse. He's just so angry, so disproportionately to the situation. He's the Amber of rage. Jen finally says that nothing Dick says about her bothers her in the least. Dick sarcastically agrees, saying that it's because she has "nothing inside." Jen says all that matters is how she feels about herself, and Dick sarcastically agrees again, and then, because he's out of comebacks, he stalks out. Left alone, she laughs at him. Only sane response, people.
Shortly afterward, Daniele and Eric are loitering in the bathroom. Daniele remarks that this week sucks. Jen enters, and Eric asks if she's okay. She says that she's fine, and tells Daniele, "I'm so sorry you had to deal with him, like, your whole life." Daniele presses her lips together angrily as Jen adds, "I'm sure you're a really strong person, too." Which...okay, not quite her place to say if they're not really friendly. On the other hand: we were all thinking it. Daniele glares at nothing in particular, saying nothing. Daniele DRs that Jen is "a very rude, mean person," and that she had no right to say what she did. I think what may be going on here is that Daniele knows Jen is right, and if they were outside the house and Dick went off like that on one of her acquaintances, she'd call him on it, but in the house, she feels like she has to cling to the person she hopes will be her best ally, so rather than admit to herself that her best ally is an irredeemable fucking asshole who's an apparently bottomless well of rage, she's transferring her anger at Dick, for putting her in the position of having to defend his indefensible behaviour, to Jen. And the way she spins it is to say that Jen's always taking pot shots at her, and doesn't know or care what Daniele's life has been like as Dick's daughter, so Jen was out of line to say what she did. Jen leaves the bathroom as Kail walks in, agreeing, "That was uncomfortable."
In the HoH bathroom, Dick watches as Nick shaves his head. The music is losing its shit, like Nick is fucking Taxi Driver or something, which...okay, admittedly, he's not helping himself any with the coral nail polish he's rocking right now. Dick tells Nick not to discount Daniele's feelings, and Nick curtly replies that he knows she knew about his nomination. Dick has no response to that. Nick keeps shaving.
Kitchen. Daniele is telling Amber that she will vote with the group (to oust Nick, presumably), but then looks across the island to see Jen standing there and Mean Girls to Amber that she doesn't want to talk with Jen there. Daniele turns her back, but then swings back to pick a fight with Jen, taking ten minutes to say that Jen has had a problem with her since they first came in the house: "And you need to deal with it." By not talking to Daniele? I don't understand. It doesn't matter. Daniele's an idiot. When Daniele finally stops for breath, Jen replies that she's tried to be friends with Daniele. Daniele whinily asks what she's ever done to Jen, and Jen says that Daniele's always giving her the cold shoulder. You know, you guys could just try being civil near-strangers...though if either of you knew how to interact reasonably with people you don't really like, you probably wouldn't have been cast for the show. Daniele bleats that just because she doesn't click with Jen, it doesn't give Jen the right to be nasty to her. Jen starts to say that she has morals (clearly, she's about to get around to saying that Daniele shouldn't be making out under the covers with Nick when she has a boyfriend at home), but Daniele bleats back that Jen is jealous that Nick is friends with Daniele. Uh, okay. "Friends."
At this point, a shirtless Nick appears at the sliding doors, having heard only a muffled version of this debate, and yells at Jen, "Get the fuck out of here." He's finished his mohawk, by the way, though some would say that the effect of it is somewhat diminished by his choice to wear it with a bandanna tied around his head. Shut up, Nick's hair. Outside, Dick -- getting a contact rage boner -- suggests to whomever he's with that they go inside and watch a fight. THAT INVOLVES HIS DAUGHTER. I mean, not that I think Dick should try to calm Daniele down or whatever, but maybe he could take less spectatorly delight in the fact that she's so upset. Inside, Daniele whines at Nick to let her speak for herself. "Dumb bitch," Nick mutters at Jen as he stomps past. Daniele spins the situation, again, to Jen's being jealous of Nick and Daniele's awesome "friendship," and taking that jealousy out on Daniele. Jen's like, "Yeah, no," and starts to smirk a little in disbelief as Daniele rages on about Jen's "little comments." Jen starts to say something about being friends with Daniele, but now Dick is involved, announcing that Daniele doesn't want to be friends with Jen. I think Jen's probably okay with that. Now figuring that she has nothing to lose, Jen reiterates that she doesn't think it's good to cheat on people, and that Daniele herself has said that Kris, her boyfriend at home, was engaged to someone else and dumped her to date Daniele. Daniele pouts so hard it actually looks like she's doing it for comic effect, and she bitterly tells Jen that she doesn't know the story at all. Dick: "[Glare.]" Daniele is telling Jen that she has "very poor values," and as she's in the middle of her sentence, Dick strolls over to Jen and dumps what's left of his beverage on her head. Jen's like, "Seriously?" Daniele tries to hide her delighted smile. Dick leaves. Jen fluffs out her hair, nonplussed.
Time for Nick to come back. As he walks in, Daniele walks out, smiling to herself. Jen starts to say something about someone being twelve, and Nick fucking goes off on her, yelling, "Get out of here!" and telling her not to talk about Daniele behind her back. Jen's like, "Uh, she was right here, and I would say it to her face if she hadn't just fled the area." Jen says that she was saying it about Dick, for obvious reasons, and Nick's like, "Nobody likes you!" Good one, genius. "Okay!" says Jen. You guys, I never thought I would say or even think it, but Jen might be too good for these people. Nick gets into a Dick-esque rant about Jen's many character flaws, and Jen says, "I don't even care." Nick goes outside rather than try to think up any more material.
Holy shit, that was just the first fifteen minutes. Hardly a DR in it! That's no way to do a live show! Where's my filler?
Oh, here it is: Julie throws to houseguests' DR thoughts on the nominees. Daniele says that Kail is a mess. She hasn't shown herself "to be good at anything in the house" (uh, she's been HoH more times than you, sweetheart) and "[giggle!]" she walks around like she's going to kill herself. I'm seriously not sure she's not talking about Amber. Dick is in standard DR pose (right knee up, right elbow resting on it, because he's too nonconformist to sit in a chair the conventional way, narc!) as he says that because of Daniele, he wants Nick to go. Jen doesn't see any reason for Nick to stay, since he's rude and is of no help to her. Amber (crying) thinks Nick is great, and maybe if he's gone, she won't depend on anyone, and somehow, this will make her quit crying all the time. She suspects that if she can't put a lid on the crying, it's going to come back and bite her in the ass. Um, you might want to check it for tooth marks now, because even if you stopped now, the memories and soggy pillows remain.
Spotlight on Nick! In the gym, Amber walks on the treadmill as Nick says he thinks he has the votes to stay, though he's not going to campaign. He says that he must be nominated for a reason, and asks whether there's a consensus that he should be evicted. Amber says that there are a lot of people who don't want to tell him the truth because they don't want to look bad. Present company excluded? Nick muses that he thinks he'd be able to count on votes from Amber, Jameka, and Daniele: "Zach, just because he's always hanging around me." Oh, that's nice. He also thinks he can depend on votes from Dick, and maybe Jessica because she hates Kail so much. Amber nods. Nick is going to be very disappointed. Nick wraps it up by saying that "it's all up in the air" and adding a "whatever" so we know this whole thing is, like, totally beneath him anyway. He leaves, but not before exchanging more "I love you"s with Amber. SERIOUSLY? You've known each other a month. Get a grip.
Hello, filler! Eric gets a fauxhawk. Eric wants Nick to go. Eric is apparently insecure about his body -- and, as a splitscreen of him against Nick demonstrates, he should be. At least as compared to Nick.
America's Player. Apparently the nation wants Eric to vote Kail. Eric is disappointed that America doesn't value his strategic input, but he'll do what he can.
HoH room. In bed with Jessica, Eric announces that he can't stand Kail. "Me too!" squeals Jessica. He continues in this vein for a while. It's not subtle, but consider his audience.
Augh, LNC. Eric kicks off by making a case against Kail. Everyone else in the room is like, "The hell?" He shoots a look at the people on the bed, taking the wind out of Eric's sails, but he soldiers on, saying that she's not as out of it as people think, and that they should get rid of her. Dick says that what he doesn't want for Nick is to survive nomination and get comfortable. The shock of nomination is over; now they need to act on it.
Outside, Dick demonstrates that Eric's case didn't fall on deaf ears, as he and Daniele discuss whether ousting Nick at this juncture is the best play for them. Shocking a nation, Daniele doesn't think it is! I know! In the DR, Dick says he's back and forth on Nick; he wants Kail to go. Back in the yard, Dick says that they don't have to go along with the group because everyone is just looking out for their own interests. The idea! Daniele DRs that keeping Nick this week would be best for her strategically. And, for her pants.
Live check-in, augh. Julie seeks reviews on Nick's new do. Dude, the bandanna? If you're going to cut a mohawk, commit. Surprise, Amber loves it. Eric's homage to Nick's hair: whatever. Teagate? Jen's used to Dick's outbursts. Dick doesn't want to apologize, and wishes the glass had been more full. Jen laughs. We're all friends during the live show! Why does God want Jameka in the house? To win, she hopes.
More DR. Nick is Zach's biggest ally in the game. (It's at this point, by the way, that I realize Zach is the fratty, American version of Jemaine from Flight Of The Conchords.) Zach would vote for any person Nick told him to, no questions asked. Except last week, I guess. Jameka wants Nick out because Zach is his slave, so without Nick, Zach will be lost in the game. Jessica really hates Kail. Jameka wants to keep Kail because she does the dishes. Yes, that was a big concern of the Lord's, too.
HoH interview. Does Dustin regret taking the money and trip? He does regret not winning for Jameka's sake, but he does understand that he'll have a life after this game is over, and that he'll be able to enjoy it with cash in pocket and a trip abroad. What does Dustin think about Dick's bullying toward the female houseguests? Dustin thinks he takes things too far, but it doesn't affect Dustin, and Dick's craziness took the heat off Dustin for taking the money and the trip in the Veto Competition. Good point, and probably the reason we'll be living with Dick for most of this summer.
Nominees, beg for your lives! Kail doesn't take any day in the house for "granite." She loves her friendships with all the other houseguests, and looks forward to more good times with them in or out of the house. Blah blah. Nick sounds like he knows he's going, so he decides to direct most of his parting thoughts to Daniele. She smiles delightedly but doesn't meet his eyes as he says that meeting her forced him to throw out his game plan. He thinks she's beautiful and smart, he's smitten with her, and he enjoyed his time in the house largely because of her. It'll be hard to leave the house, but the hardest will be for him to leave her. As Julie recaps the situation, Kail reaches for Nick's hand and he totally disses her. Heh.
Voting! Jen votes to evict Nick.
Zach votes to evict Kail.
Jameka votes to evict Nick.
After commercials? More voting. Eric's up, and since we know how he's "voting," he tells America that, week, they should target Jen and Kail again, and this time, America has Eric's personal guarantee that one of them will go home. Sure, that guarantee's money in the bank.
Jessica votes to evict Nick.
Amber, fucking fiddling with her necklace nonstop, starts crying as she votes to evict Nick.
Dick makes sure to settle right into his DR pose -- even though he's going to be there for all of thirty seconds -- and votes to evict Nick.
Daniele does a queer little "cute" shrug, and then starts crying as she votes to evict Nick.
By a vote of 6 to 2, Nick is evicted. He gives Daniele a chaste kiss on the cheek, and in the hubbub, we see Amber walk past the camera, crying so hard I am actually a little concerned that all the salt is just going to melt the skin right off her face. There are more hugs, and then Nick is gone.
As Nick gets settled, nothing of much consequence ahppens in the house, except more crying, and more hugging. Even Dustin is crying a little.
Chenderdome. Is Nick going to pursue Daniele outside the house? Surprisingly, he does not announce his intentions to cock-block Kris. Does he know who voted for Kail last week, other than Zach? Nick thinks Jen. But guess what! Julie cues up a video package in which Eric explains about America's Player. Nick actually seems genuinely delighted by the twist, and offers another "expect the unexpected" to show he really means it. Zach hopes they can be real friends. (By Nick's expression, I would say Zach shouldn't bother clearing his schedule.) Kail thought she'd be up against Zach. Dick thinks Nick made some mistakes. Amber sobs as she says she lied to Nick about whether she knew he was going. Daniele didn't think she'd have such a "strong friendship" with Nick; she's sorry he didn't make it further.
Oh, sweet filler. The HoH competition requires the eligible houseguests to get on big pendulums that start swaying back and forth very slowly, like the world's crappiest carnival ride. The only interesting thing to happen is that Eric asks Dick his nut-preserving strategy -- crushing their balls against the bar, or riding sidesaddle? It's pretty simple so far: if you fall, you're out. And since each is attached to a pendulum with a strap of some sort, it doesn't seem so challenging.
After the break, the houseguests are told to hang like bats (by their legs, not their claws, so...not quite), but they're still strapped and can put their hands on the strap, so, again, could really be harder. And then the fake birds above them start spraying fake poo on them. Maybe the fake poo is made of hydrochloric acid? I guess we'll find out on Sunday.