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The episode description said, "Emma takes a trip," and I thought, "How funny it would be if homegirl got high." Forgetting, of course, that we're in a drug paradise and that we now have twelve drug dealers living in the motel. So yes, Emma does eat an edible, and yes, it does make her paranoid. Of course, living in WPB should make you paranoid, so it doesn't really matter -- but it's nice to see Emma tying herself closer and closer to the Bates Family Unit, however that takes its shape.
Meanwhile, everybody else is just breaking the hell down: Dylan (Massett! But we're still calling him Dylan Texas) breaks Bradley into her father's office at Gil's warehouse, with Remo's reluctant approval. Daddies and sons and daughters all over the place there. And Norman, who's still having dreams about murdering Bradley, gets all caught up in editing his literary short story for some Miss Watson idea about his talent, which ends up in a whole new configuration: Norma wants to move the fuck out of WPB, while both her children -- the one she claims, and the other one -- are doing everything they can to stick around.
So Norma spends the episode freaking out about that highway, beating her real estate agent with her purse -- which yes, was amazing and a high point of the episode -- and later trying to figure out a way to reconfigure her connection with Sheriff Romero to benefit her. She's practically out of commission, between this and yelling (again, awesomely) at the trimmer kids for smoking pot on her property.
In the end, Norma wants to leave town and can't, and her boys have no interest in doing so. But with just the finale to go, one wonders exactly how weird -- between the boys' conflicted interest in Bradley and Norma's continual messing about with the established social order -- it's going to get. I would say one of the three (Emma, Bradley, Miss Watson) is going to buy it in the finale week, but it's a testament to the show that all three would be both surprising and fascinatingly apropos, by turns.
Norma, you'll never leave White Pine Bay. Norman, your creative expression will not be through fiction (and stuffed Juno would agree). Dylan, I can't believe you didn't nail Bradley this week, but I'm guessing there's a Big Winter Formal week where everything comes to head. My money's on Miss Watson, simply because her "caring authority" vs. "total pervo" is rating higher than anybody other than Shelby at this point.
Week: "Romero decides to take action" (meaning presumably Norma makes too much noise about her psycho stalker); "Norman brings Emma to the dance" (meaning presumably that he does that); and "Norman gets a ride home from Miss Watson" (meaning presumably that he ties her up and things get very awesome season). But based on this week's cliffhanger -- Abernathy (#9) grabbing Norma in her car demanding huge sums of money -- and week's trailer -- Emma telling her to shut up and give him that money -- that at least ol' Mr. Abernathy won't live out the finale. Jeez I love this show.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!PREVIOUSLY
Bradley was like, "You know we're not dating, right?" And Emma was like, "You know you're not dating her, right?" And Norman was all, "Yeah no, yeah." But the truth was quite the opposite. Bradley had to make double sure that they were totally not dating, which resulted in him almost murdering her, but by the fourth or fifth time she dumped him he was starting to grasp what is going on. (Just kidding, he still only barely grasps it.) Dylan has produced for their mother a whole motel's worth of cute gross hippies for the marijuana processing that White Pine Bay runs on, but the sinister sex-slaver Jake Abernathy -- just the latest in a very long line of disappointing men to traipse past Norma Bates's window -- ruined even that fragile truce by leaving her autopsied ex-boyfriend's corpse in her bed. In her bed!
UP THE HILL
Orange Pants Hottie has been joined by Canadian Andrew Garfield Hottie -- one of whom has to be Remo's kid in real life? -- and all the hippies are watching the cops drag Shelby's body out of the house and down the hill for the second time.
Norma: "I was just about to go on a date with my distant second-choice son, and..."
Romero: "Any idea who would bring your boyfriend's dead body back to your house and put it in your bed?"
Norma: "Ordinarily I would say Zach Shelby, just a classic Zach Shelby Move, but I really don't think it was him this time. My new person who is constantly ruining my life is Jake Abernathy, an old friend of Shelby's and Keith Summers and presumably Gil and presumably you, who told me last week pretty explicitly, I am going to ruin your life in various ways such as putting dead bodies in your upstairs bedrooms, and the like."
Romero: "No, I'm sure these are all just random coincidences. But if you'd like to give me Abernathy's obviously fake information..."
"I THOUGHT HE WAS CRAZY! LIKE WHY? WHY DO CRAZY PEOPLE KEEP GRAVITATING TOWARDS ME?" Everybody on the show stares awkwardly at the floor and tries not to point out, or even think about, the fact that Norma Bates is easily the craziest person any of them have ever met or even heard of.
LATER
Dylan: "And now we have to throw out the mattress too? Just because some autopsied dude might have leaked on it?"
Norman: "I hear you, but I also never had a boyfriend accidentally rape me and then turn up dead in my bed after being autopsied. Possibly we don't have all the facts of what she's going through."
Dylan: "Uh, considering how long she's going to be bitching and moaning and perseverating and talking talking talking about this, eventually we might."
Norma: "I can hear you! And I am acting totally appropriate!"
SNIFF SNIFF
Norma: "Hippy youth culture! Stop smoking doobies on my porch!"
Trimmers: "What did she say? What is happening?"
Norma: "Your wacky weed!"
Trimmers: "Did you know you live in the WPB?"
Norma: "I know! It is kind of getting to me! You, Andrew Garfield one, what is your name?"
Ra'uf: "Ra'uf."
Norma: "Fuck you."
"I had an idea when I moved here of how life was gonna be. Life can be disappointing, sure. But no one prepared me for the colossal fucking face-dive off a cliff into a bottomless pit of hellish bullshit that coming to this monster town has turned out to be. Whatever that dumb old therapist says, I don't need therapy and I am totally under control and this goddamn motel is under my control and you will goddamn not be smoking drugs on the motherfucking porch of it. Copy?"
Hippies: "Whoa, you are awesome."
Ra'uf: "But you slightly need to chill."
Norma: "YOU chill. You chill your OWN ass."
Hippies: "This is the best lady I ever saw in my whole life."
Norma: "Dylan! What have you wrought?"
Dylan: "They are laborers. They are of the labor class."
Norma: "And how do they labor?"
Dylan: "They toil, dear mother, in the fields."
Norma: "Fields of what?"
Dylan: "You know goddamn well. Why are you being so weird right now?"
Norma: "I HATE THIS PLACE! HATE IT! MY LIFE IS A MISTAKE! THIS TOWN IS A PRISON! A NIGHTMARE! I AM GETTING THE FUCK OUT OF THIS NIGHTMARE PRISON OF A TOWN!"
Norman: "Hold up, what?"
Norma: "We are gonna start over, son. It's gonna be..."
Norman: "There's a pattern here maybe we should explore, where you kind of always want to do this. Like, you take your crazy with you everywhere you go, you realize that? It doesn't mean you're not still in the same..."
"I got raped DAY ONE. Committed MURDER. Then my boyfriend forced me to have sex with him in a variety of locations so that we all wouldn't go to jail. Then we discovered that he was keeping doped-up sex slaves in his secret basement. Then you lost your VIRGINITY. At what point, Norman, at what point can we possibly say Maybe this time Norma's not being a flake, maybe this one time Norma has a legitimate concern. Because if not now, when? If not multiple murders and sexual assaults, WHAT IS IT GOING TO TAKE?"
INTERLUDE
On the downside, Norman has a pretty involved dream about drowning Bradley in the bathtub. A calm lake in a world of concrete. On the upside, when he wakes up he is ashamed, frightened and above all does not masturbate. Which I guess the fact that I was worried about that says, perhaps, more about me than the boy.
MOTEL OFFICE
Emma: "Hey, I came in early to organize your office. It is disordered just like your mind."
Norma: "Just throw everything out except the deed and the land and stuff like that. Everything else, burn it. We don't need to know."
Emma: "Uh, okay. I will be doing the opposite of that because I am Emma Dekody, but it's nice to know which Norma we're dealing with today."
Norma: "If those hippies start smoking their doobies and roaches while I'm gone, freak out on them."
Emma: "You know we live in the WPB, right? And I'm kind of shy with hot hippies."
Norma: "Just act super fucking crazy. Like you know how I am? Do that."
Emma: "And what if they say for example, No? No, Tank Girl, I am going to keep smoking this doobie."
Norma: "I don't know. Climb up on something and holler like your whole body's going to shake apart, that's what I'd do. Or drive crazy donuts in the parking lot. Pretty much anything that will simultaneously get their attention and make it clear you cannot be reasoned with."
A cute gay Canadian man brings a delivery of flowers! Norma's so out of it today that for a second she's like, "How nice! How nice that a... Wait, I don't have any friends or anyone that would get me flowers. My dead boyfriend already got carried outta here twice, and all my husbands... Possibly they are from Norman? But more likely they are from Jake Abernathy and they are a mobster message. A fragrant horse's head."
Norma: "Emma, throw this shit out. I won't have murder message flowers in the office on top of everything else. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to call Sheriff Romero and leave him an urgent message that somebody sent me flowers. A very serious crime."
SOME STREET
Bradley: "Dylan, hey."
Dylan: "Oh, are we already at the part where we do it, and Norman goes crazy?"
Bradley: "Could you sneak me into my dad's office over at Gil's drug warehouse? I miss him very bad! And I thought if I could just see where the corruption went down, like how he kept his desk and everything, it would give me solace."
Dylan: "Yeah, like what could you possibly find at your dad's drug-dealer job -- that got him killed by being burned alive -- that might freak you out?"
REAL ESTATE MATT
One of the best parts of the episode is how Norma walks through doors when she is pissed off, which is like... Imagine a saloon door, like you have to throw both sides wide, and then walk through before it swings back? But doing that with normal doors. Like she doesn't give a fuck if it latches properly on its own behind her because she has had it. It's like that door was never there; like she destroyed it with her mind-rage.
Matt: "Oh shit, it's Norma Bates. Can I call you back, Jason? This is going to get weird."
Jason: "How come?"
Matt: "I do not know yet. But I guarantee it is going to get weird."
Norma: "I am here to get weird!"
Matt: "How come?"
Norma: "You knew about that highway bypass and you sold me that property anyway."
Matt: "It was a proposal, one of many, at that time."
Norma: "Do you want to look in these crazy eyes every day for a year when I take you to court?"
Matt: "Ideally no."
Norma: "Then you get me my money back."
If only there were some kind of escrow stipulation about like, the party of the first part blah blah rape camp blah blah human slavery. Anyway, Matt knows that whatever happens , he does not want Norma coming back in there because she is the kind of lady that will assault you with her purse. Not just once, to make a point, but several times, and like, aggravated.
MISS WATSON
Miss Watson: "Norman, that short story you turned in, it's incredible! I especially liked the part where the pretty teacher molested the young boy."
Norman: "Thought ya might."
Miss Watson: "I have a friend who has a small literary publication, and I'd like to send it to him. It will be published and you will become famous! A literary supernova. But first, we need to edit it together. Long hours, all alone, after school, unsupervised. Just you, me, a peekaboo bra, and the English language."
Norman: "Just FYI, I might also bring my other personality which is a sex murderer."
Miss Watson: "Mee-yow! Me too, lol."
BACK HOME
Norma's got two problems. Well. She's got like a hundred problems. But right now they are: She has a serious killer on her ass for reasons she still doesn't even understand, and this dumb highway also, but mostly the first one. So she's a little tweaky, a little paranoid. She needs some of that ganja from those hot hippies, I thought, and then I remembered that I already act like Norma Bates a lot of the time and pot makes it a lot worse, which is why I don't smoke pot, so if Norma smoked pot she would be more like Norma Bates than she is now, which sounds amazing but only from behind bulletproof, soundproof, double-sided mirror glass. (Also: "ganja"? Is that something people say? Did I make that up? Did you know it's Sanskrit? And what are "dank nuggets"? That does not sound appealing.)
Norma: "I know what you're thinking, obsessing on locking all the doors and windows is kind of insane. But let me remind you that the man formerly in No. 9 is now at large and oh Christ what is that awful thing in your hands?"
Norman: "This is Juno. She used to be my dog. Now she is merely a symptom."
Norma: "We are getting the eff out of this town. It's gonna be great!!"
Norman: "I have a 4.0 and I'm becoming a literary supernova. We're not leaving."
Norma: "Raped! DAY ONE!"
NORMAN'S BDRM AKA NORMANSLAND
Dylan: "Hey, why are you Googling 'I drowned a slut in my dream' and oh Christ what is that awful thing on your bed?"
Norman: "This is Juno. She used to be my dog. Now she's more of a cry for help. That nobody seems to hear."
Dylan: "And the first part?"
Norman: "Remember that girl I was in love with, and you engineered me to go sleep with her, and then I almost killed her? Well, I've been dreaming about killing her. Maybe it's just a metaphor."
Dylan: "Yeah, why wouldn't it be? I certainly don't know any secrets about you, that even you don't know, that would cause me to think otherwise."
Norman: "I guess I just feel overwhelmed. I bet Norma drowns people all night, every night."
Dylan: "Right, because you'd never hurt anybody, right? In real life? With meat tenderizers or on their front lawns or anything? Beat anybody over the head? And you'd be willing to remind your other personalities of that? And how much I love you also?"
Norman: "Just you! Kidding. Not kidding! Totally kidding."
GIL'S WAREHOUSE
Dylan: "Gil? Are you in this pitch-black warehouse among these pot plants?"
Gil: "How are your hippies working out?"
Dylan: "Listen, did Jerry Martin have an office space here?"
Gil: "Your unceasing ambition, it rankles and impresses."
Dylan: "I just want to snoop around in it and have secrets."
Gil: "Take his office, I don't care. I burned that motherfucker alive, I don't care what happens. Trash everything, see if I care."
Dylan: "Then so, like Emma Dekody, I will not be doing that. And thank you. If this works out right, my little brother will kill absolutely all of us."
BATES MOTEL
Emma: "Hey, cutest hippie? Can you not smoke pot? I don't know if you're aware, but there is an insane lady."
Ra'uf: "Oh me? I don't smoke pot! Hey, do you want to smoke some pot?"
Emma: "I have an oxygen tank that will explode if we smoke pot."
Ra'uf: "Oh, Marilla. How much you miss."
MISS WATSON
"He felt like he was choking inside on some black smoke."
Miss Watson: "I love this image, of choking inside on some black smoke. But if we move it to the bottom of this paragraph, your psycho tendencies might be more artful."
Norman: "It is fantastic that you are showing so much approval of my story."
Miss Watson: "A man who is on fire from the inside! I do love it."
Norman: "I just thought it was interesting in a way that has nothing to do with myself, consciously. Like, how do you go through daily life on fire, and nothing will put it out?"
Miss Watson: "For me, taking inappropriate interest in my young students helps. Listen, you're very mature for your age."
Norman: "It's from being systematically abused my entire life!"
Miss Watson, verbatim: "I just feel like you understand things that are way beyond your years, things about how hard life can be, about how we're not really meant to be happy..."
Norman: "Miss Watson, you seem sad. Like you are also on fire and wanting things you can't have."
Miss Watson: "It is just my love of the English language. And the Arts thereupon."
Norman: "Are you going to ask me to kill your husband at some point? That's generally what happens in this movie."
Miss Watson: "Oh shit, you're a minor. I totally forgot. You're going to need your mom's permission to publish this story about how you are clearly a crazy person."
Norman: "I do not see that happening."
"SLIDE (ACOUSTIC VERSION)"
The hippies play Goo Goo Dolls because hippies are the worst, but listen:
Don't you love the life you killed?
Don't suppose I'll ever know what it means to be a man
It's something I can't change
Romero: "Are you guys working at Gil's dry dock that I don't know about?"
Hippies: "Yes, would you like fresh veggies?"
Romero: "No thank you, I am investigating a very serious flower crime."
Norma: "Sheriff, here is the card where Jake Abernathy says See you soon. It is a code, it means I am going to kill you for messing up my sex slavery."
Romero: "I notice that he didn't sign it 'Jake Abernathy.'"
Norma: "No, but who else could have sent it? Everybody else is dead."
Romero: "Shit, I don't know your personal business."
Norma: "THIS IS DEFINITELY A CLUE. Also, he's staking me out again. Driving by in that black car of murder, all day long, like he's got nothing else to do now that I have ruined his flesh-trade career."
Romero: "Oh, plus obviously Jake Abernathy doesn't exist. It's a shine-on, dame. The old switcheroo."
Norma: "Too bad I scrubbed off all his fingerprints and DNA during one of my 'sodes. And then gave the room to that filth out there."
Romero: "You know, it's sort of funny that you went into the service industry."
Norma: "I am keen to serve people! I just wish they weren't always trying to kill me and smoking doobies and raping everybody all the time."
Romero: "For a very understandably paranoid person, you didn't write down his plates or save his creepy hairs or anything whatsoever. You are not good at this part of my job."
Norma: "But how will you save me? From the man that doesn't exist? You know how hard it is for me to trust people, men and authority figures."
Romero: "I will have you patrolled every half-hour. Which I would imagine won't last very long before you have killed yet another person in your house."
Norma: "Okay, well, if any other literal dead bodies show up, I'll call ya."
Romero: "I know. I know that you will."
DINER
Dylan: "Hello, Bradl..."
Bradley: "When are you going to get me into my dad's office?"
Dylan: "And so we dispense with the preliminaries. Listen, maybe I could just box up all his drug-dealer crap and bring it to you, and that way Gil would be forced to kill us both."
Bradley: "It's not about anything in particular. Well, there's a pocketwatch I'm kind of fixated on, but mostly it's about being in the actual space. How he left things. My mom already did the boxing-up thing, like, immediately. It left me untethered."
Dylan: "The thing is Gil kind of hated your dad by the end. You know how he was set on fire and then aimed at you in a speeding car?"
Bradley: "Figure it out, mister. I'm just gonna be over here looking awesome and untouchable and unknowable, embodying the pathetic desires of men who haven't fully developed emotionally, as is the way of things."
Dylan: "Okay fine, let's go."
BATES MOTEL
Wrong number, and then before you know it Emma is chowing down on the obvious pot muffin that Cute Hippie Ra'uf has left her that is going to get her high. This is the best television show in the whole, whole world of television. Like the look of wonder and amazement that is constantly in her giant beautiful eyes isn't going to be twice as fabulous once she gets that edible down.
UP THE HILL
Norma: "In breaking news, we are moving to Oahu! It is very safe there, and near to a beach. Nobody will come looking for us, and we will be safe and all alone. Don't tell Dylan!"
Norman: "I am not doing this with you. A Hawaii cottage sounds delicious, Mother, but I have a real life here."
Norma: "It's especially safe because it's an island!"
Norman: "Okay, that was hilarious. But..."
Norma: "And we've been running a motel so we have management experience..."
Norman: "Literally for three days we have been doing this. In which fairly short time we have committed multiple homicides. I don't know that the service industry is..."
Norma: "Whatever, I will just tell lies to everyone like usual."
They get into a fight and Norman eventually goes back into the mode where he just -- terrified by himself, on the verge of breaking down -- keeps repeating over and over that she is crazy and scary and doesn't make any sense, etc. Which is when Emma shows up, with eyes like whirling jewels.
Emma: "I think there might be video monitoring equipment in the office."
Norma: "That is totally something I would buy!"
Emma: "I felt like I was being watched. It was really creeping me out."
Norma: "Like by whom?"
Emma: "I don't know. God? I got lonely. I grabbed my tank and headed up here to see you guys, see what you were up to. And man, you know stairs? Stairs. There were like a million of 'em!"
Norma, gettin' up close: "...Not that it rules out the spy cams, but you are high as shit."
Emma: "Like it was an escalator, that you climb -- Hi! -- and one more step just kept coming, out of nowhere. Like I was in space!"
Norma: "Do CF kids smoke pot?"
Emma: "I ate it. It was a cupcake from a hippie. Frankly I don't see the appeal."
Norma: "Norman, go make her some toast. You can mess with her head if you want, but nothing, like, scathing."
Norman: "I'm sorry I called you crazy, Mother..."
Norma: "Oh, who cares? My real daughter is on drugs!"
WAREHOUSE
Remo immediately starts shooting at Bradley and Dylan from out in the darkness.
Dylan: "Stop shooting! It's me, Dylan [Texas]! Do you hear me?"
Remo: "Oh my God, you are so dumb. What are you even doing here? And who is the other person with you who I am going to kill?"
Bradley: "It is me! I am too beautiful to kill. Plus bullets would just go through me like a mirage, probably."
Remo: "Are you Jerry Martin's kid? Sorry we set your dad on fire."
Dylan: "Look, she just wants to go through all of our corrupt drug-dealing documents, it's no big deal."
Remo: "Really? Because that sounds like a bad idea."
Dylan: "But Remo, it is for sex."
Remo: "Oh, cool. Go right ahead, you."
Dylan: "Your sudden but inevitable betrayal is going to sting more with every one of these moments where I fall more and more in love with you."
Remo: "Right back atcha, kiddo. I am really going to hate fucking you up, when that eventually happens."
Bradley: "Speaking of daddies, my one was having an affair. With a person named B! I found correspondence. He was making love to a letter of the alphabet!"
Dylan: "We don't know Miss Watson's first name, or Ethan's last name. Odds are 80/20 it's one of those two."
Bradley: "I thought I already went crazy when witnessed him being burned to death, but I think possibly I will now go even crazier still!"
Dylan: "Then I'd better hop to it."
Actually, it's sweet. He grabs her and holds onto her tight and says of course Jerry still loved her, regardless of whatever else he was up to, because who wouldn't? And it's true. Even after all this, I do love ol' Bradley. She's really got it figured out.
I WANNA WAKE UP WHERE YOU ARE
Norma: "Hey Norman, on a scale of one to ten how weird would it be if I slept in here tonight?"
Norman: "In my bed? With my dead animal in it and also me?"
Norma: "One to ten, I said. I mean, I realize it's weird but is it that weird?"
Norman: "Ugh, this is just because of that slave-trader who is stalking you and threatened to kill you and managed to get a body out of the morgue without anybody caring."
Norma: "Uh yeah, it is."
Norman: "The truth is, sleeping with you is excellent and it makes me very happy. So if we don't make it weird, it's not weird. Other people maybe would think it's weird, but who cares about other people?"
Norma: "The true truth is that I am a grown woman fucking up your teenage mind because I am selfish."
Norman: "Get in here, you old so-and-so. And listen, I'm sorry I truthfully and accurately called you crazy."
Norma: "Please, like my ears can physically even hear criticism."
Why don't you slide into my room?
We'll run away, run away, run away
MISS WATSON
Norman: "About my story. I think we should stop editing it and put a halt to my burgeoning literary career."
Miss Watson: "Why, because of your mom? What did she, climb in bed with you last night and steal your breath in your sleep and make you feel like a single blended person and as if you had never left the womb?"
Norman: "Yeah. Plus, if she reads this story it's going to be worse than the time we tried therapy."
Miss Watson: "I was going to say this eventually, so now's fine. Your mother doesn't need to know what we get up to."
Norman: "Uh, that seems like something a teacher should never, ever, ever say to a kid under any circumstances whatsoever."
Miss Watson: "We're the same, Norman. I understand your problems because I have similar problems. You're prone to the occasional anima possession by a negative mother archetype that wants to drown teenage girls and negate all sexuality, while I want to take out my own history of sexual abuse on the most vulnerable person I can find. See? Simpatico."
Norman: "Well, I guess it's not entirely fair to quash my talent just because she..."
Miss Watson: "Your prodigious talent. And how's she gonna find out?"
Norman: "Again, that doesn't sound..."
Miss Watson: "Yeah, no. I heard it. I heard it that time."
REAL ESTATE MATT
Matt: "Oh, shit. I forgot Norma Bates again. This will go poorly."
Norma: "I was thinking I would bake cookies! For the Open House!"
Matt: "There's not going to be an Open House, and if there was you'd be serving rape slash murder, not cookies."
Norma: "But if there's not an Open House, then who will smell the cookies? And buy this cursed murder mansion?"
Matt: "I can't get your money back. Not between the highway and your epic bad luck."
Norma: "Then the value. Oahu can't possibly be the most expensive place in the entire universe, oh wait yes it is. Well, just enough for a cottage, then. On Oahu."
Matt: "Baby, it's worth less than it's worth. You're further underwater than a dream of Bradley Martin."
Norma: "I refuse to have that be reality."
But it's the thing -- "The best thing you can do is to just walk away, let the bank take it back" -- that sends her over the edge. That's how she got the place. That's Keith Summers's mistake, his failure. Not hers. That was the shot, right there, and now Matt is saying, "Let somebody else benefit from your mistake, in turn. Hopefully a man this time." Which is why it does come to pass that she beats the shit out of ol' Matt with her purse.
WHICH IS GREAT
But the thing that happens is, she is still pissed when Jake Abernathy turns up in her backseat with a gun, causing her, causing everybody, to scream bloody murder.
#9: "Get the present I left on your bed? Apparently you don't take friendly direction too well, so we're escalating."
Norma: "Thank you for the flowers?"
#9: "Zack Shelby owed me $150,000 from that last batch of girls, and now it's missing. That's what I was looking for on the boat, that's what I've been looking all over for. I talked to everybody else in our sex ring, and they all say it's you."
Norma: "If I had a hundred-fitty grand I would be in Oahu right now."
#9: "Really?"
Norma: "No! Not Oahu. I would never move to Oahu. Ohio, I said."
#9: "I don't care. Come up with the money and bring it to me at the pier at midnight, in week's episode, entitled 'Midnight.' Or else I will kill your son. Both of them, not just the one you hate. And then I will kill you. Got it?"
Norma: "I guess. Man, today sucks."
WEEK
Norman brings Emma to the dance, but leaves with Miss Watson. I can't believe it's the finale. What am I going to think and talk incessantly about for the forty-odd weeks?
JACOB CLIFTON is a freelance writer and critic based in Austin, Texas. He currently recaps The Good Wife, Bates Motel, and Defiance for TWoP. Jacob can be found online at jacobclifton.com, Twitter, and Facebook, as well as a regular column for Tor.com, Geek Love.