First up is Krazy-Eyes, whom we haven't seen any of tonight, and she certainly hasn't seen any of us, what with her Krazy-Eyes spinning loosely in their sockets like the googly sticker she is. Sitting outside, she asks Bob if he plans on staying in Detroit and at his job. He explains that his family and his business are there, and that he's always said he'll "never quit [his] day job." Why not? If it's a sense of nobility you're looking to foster for yourself in life, I'd say you're two reality dating shows behind the curve as it is. Brooke, meanwhile, has always lived in Memphis, but even if she leaves, she'll know that she always has a home there. Bob tells us that he likes the "sense of confidence" Brooke exudes, and that they have so much in common and, c'mon, seriously, she's so not going to win.
Misty. She asks how he is, and Bob deems himself as "delightful," adding, "I feel like I have this huge decision to make." Look at Bob! Bob Bob Bob! Bob is famous on the Bob show! Bobbity Bob Bob Bob! Let's not ever talk about anything else but Bob! In that spirit of Bobalicious Bobosity, Bob asks her, "Are there any things that you're in particular wondering about me?" And seriously, in his mind, the only acceptable question he could think she would ask would be, "What god fashioned you in his image and how did you get to be so wonderful?" ["Or perhaps, 'Your campaign seems to have the momentum of a runaway freight train. What are you so popular?'" -- Wing Chun] Misty turns the tables because that's what the women do on this show, asking Bob, "Do you feel like we're compatible?" She tells us that she feels like she gets "tough" and "nervous" around Bob, and it's a feat of mischaracterization either on her part or on the show's that we've seen absolutely no facets of either. Bob tells Misty that he doesn't date ten women at a time, and then trumps his own joke by adding, "Usually twelve." She's a deer in his headlights.
For all the carb consciousness that must go on with girls who look like this, they sure can't stop from excessive toasting. Wait. Did I really just write that? Aaaaaanyway, Kelly Jo raises a glass to the Top 10, and everybody clinks. Jenny ups the toasting ante, though, adding, "Here's to 'stay in touch whenever we're available to.'" Lee-Ann rolls her eyes and declines to toast. Let's go outside and hear her tell us why! "In a normal situation, if I want a guy, I don't have to see the other nine girls that are going for him. The whole point of this is to be true to yourself. If I want to be with Bob, I'm not gonna fake this just so I can look like I get along with everyone."
Kelly Jo. Admit it. You missed her just a little, didn't you? They reunite with a kiss. Kelly Jo launches in: "I hope you know I have a serious side." At which point she delivers, verbatim, the identical speech that might sound familiar to Bob seeing as he delivered it to Trista during the very episode that saw him booted. An interesting strategy, to be sure. She adds, "I just want you to know that my heart is out there and it's wide open. And if you want to embrace it, that's going to make me the happiest woman in the room." Shoo-in for the final four. "And I still want to smooch you." Or maybe the final two.
“ Bob pays homage to this sacred room, this Temple Of Emotional Reckoning, telling Chris, 'I actually need to use this room for what it's meant for.' As opposed to when he uses it for band practice. ”
Outside. Guarded. Lee-Ann's snippy, but tells Bob she's okay. He keeps pushing her to tell him what's going on. "Are you still glad to be here?" he asks. The hole has been punched: "Sure," she says. Bob's not convinced and I am transcendently thrilled. Lee-Ann admits, "No. I'm not having a great time." She's "not used to, like, waiting for a rose, and [she] should be quivering...oh, please." She rants that there are "ten girls here and one of" Bob, which also seems like something she should have known. She doesn't like that she has to spend all her time being miserable except when she's with Bob, and this is somehow his fault. Inside the house, the girls whisper that Lee-Ann's putting him on the defensive. Outside, Lee-Ann says she's just trying to explain herself, and Bob submits, "I guess I never thought about..." "No!" she interrupts. "I don't think you do." Lee-Ann, dude, chill. He could have been on his way to saying, "I guess I never thought about how long it's been since I replaced my Brita filter in longer than the allotted three-month time frame," but you wouldn't know that because he hasn't gotten the leisure of a word in edgewise just yet. Not that I can so much stand the sound of his voice anymore, but I'm just saying that it's equal time for people who equally make me want to peel my skin off, layer by agonizing layer. Bob suggests that they take a walk before they go back in the house, and she pins him up against a tree and starts wailing that she has "never been the source of controversy." Cry cry cry. She has no idea where she stands. "If I'm not one of the last girls standing, send me home," she tells him. Bob tells us he has no idea what he's going to do, and as we retreat into the house, she asks him, "Do I look like a weeping bitch?" Yeah, sort of. Throw a shadow of it up against the wall and we'll tell you how close you got.
"I do take every moment I have with you seriously, and..." Ding ding ding. Oh, hi Chris. Weeks, it's been. WEEKS.
Chris fails to leave the recapping to the professionals, sitting down with Bob in the Room of Reckoning and gushing, "Wow. I don't think I've ever seen a night like the one I witnessed tonight. That was amazing." Well, whatever Chris was doing before he walked downstairs with his champagne glass and fork, time I want to do that instead. Bob responds that there has been "a lot more going on behind the scenes" than he had realized, and that he was caught off-guard by how people really feel. How they feel about the other girls, not how they feel about him. Anyway, this has made his decision extremely difficult, and he pays homage to this sacred room, this Temple Of Emotional Reckoning, telling Chris, "I actually need to use this room for what it's meant for." As opposed to when he uses it for band practice. Chris leaves Bob to his tortured emotional state, and leaves us to the torture of the video messages. Jenny had a wonderful time at the water park. Misty thinks their relationship has "definitely gotten stronger." Meredith wants to thank Bob for his overall fabulousness even in the face of Nana's Conveniently-Recurring Subplot. Estella is looking forward to spending an evening alone with him. Mary "loved when [they] sang to one another" and falling in love through that Cupid's Arrow known as karaoke, which means, by her standards, that I am about to become romantically involved with at least half of the writing staff of this website. ["I knew it! I knew you'd be my 'Father Figure' one day!" -- Wing Chun] Karin thinks they "have a lot in common." Brooke's eyes bug through the screen, looking as though the entirety of her video message should simply be, "I should be with you, Bob, because Large Marge sent me." Antoinette wants a one-on-one. Kelly-Jo "would love to hear [him] sing to [her] for the rest of [her] life." Woohoo, boys! Did someone say Reunion Tour? Lee-Ann thinks they "proved" that she wasn't Bob's least compatible, which means Video Message Lee-Ann and Stumbling Toward Nationally Televised Humiliation Lee-Ann probably haven't met each other in the dark corridors of the Time-Space Continuum just yet. She ends her message, "Give me a rose and we'll keep proving people wrong." Nothing like you and your mate against the world to keep the relationship sharp. There's. No. WAY.