MaybeMeredith strolls ducklike down the hallway and into the ironically termed Room With The Camera In It while Misty, twenty-four, Radio Promotions Assistant confessionalizes, "This voting procedure has forced us to realize we're all chasing after the same guy." Because, according to Misty, the notarized contact, pedantic voice-over, peeing in a cup, and title of the show all seem to have left the girls' mission statement still somewhat vague. Meanwhile, MaybeMeredith holds up her first tribal council card, telling us that Brooke "deserves more time with him" and that "Leeann," as she writes it, "is a little immature." Jenny, thirty, marketing, Austin, tells us that, strategically, "if the girls are smart, they are trying to get Lee-Ann from getting a date with Bob." At this rate, though, it seems like Lee-Ann with a hyphen and Leeann without one might end up splitting the vote anyway. Fear for nothing, Jenny, thirty, marketing, Austin.
Lee-Ann tells us that she can't imagine choosing anyone but herself, but she chooses Mary, citing two of the following four reasons for why she chose her: she's spiritual, she's fun, she has a chin so pointy and Leno-esque it could give a Bachelor razor burn, and she has no chance of winning. Whatever reasons she cited, that was kind of crafty of her. For the least compatible, Lee-Ann goes with Brooke, who she describes as one of "starting to be a little snappy" or "Krazy-Eyes Chandler, the third and craziest sibling of Stewart and Adam Chandler, locked safely away in the East Wing of Chandler Manor...FOR NOW."
Aww, buck up, little campers! Are those tears? Estella confessionalizes that the whole situation was "sad" and "kinda scary." Oh, please. Those are words reserved for describing, like, a Todd Solondz movie or what it feels like to suddenly wake up with a tail or something. Would you please stop giving this puffed-up (but then puffed-down, natch) people-pleaser more credit than he rightly deserves? Honestly. Because back in The Room With The Camera In It, Jenny bursts into tears and whispers, "I said I wouldn't do this, dammit," and back in the Man-Eating Ottoman Room, we're seeing early tears from at least Estella and Brooke. Lee-Ann looks around and shakes her head incredulously, and I have to say...exactly. In a confessional, she tells us that "everything was fine, and then before I know it, it turns into The Twilight Zone." She also makes these "doo doo doo doo" sounds that I think are, cumulatively, meant to be the theme song to The Twilight Zone, but she gets much, much closer to the theme song to Sounds of a British Police Car Approaching from a Distance. God, I loved that show. But then they tried to Americanize it and it just got so stupid. It must have been the accents that made it so good in the first place. It's a half-step up, a half-step down. Starting in the middle of your keyboard, it's C/C#/C/G#. But, quietly, secretly, Lee-Ann? Word.