Similar hypothetical conversations might ensue after such conversational kickoffs including "I love School House Rock" or "I love this song by The Cars." But hey, guess what? We forgot about Estella. The one who's going to win.
And then, dinner. Is this date feeling a little plotted to anyone else out there? After the hot tubs, Eugene and Kelly Jo walk up a flight of stairs in what looks like a high-school gymnasium and take off in a cable car reading "Alyeska Resort." No charge to take the cable car for guests of the Seven Glaciers Resort! Way to pinch whatever wampum, whale-blubber currency they use in that godforsaken no-man's-land, you guys!
Oh, right. America. Forgot.
It's 11 PM. And it's still light out. And Robin Williams is the bad guy, but I'm the one who accidentally shot my partner. And that is why I cannot sleep.
Up at dinner at the Seven Glaciers, Kelly Jo decides to get "all serious" with Eugene, admitting that she has the love of him: "I know I wouldn't be in love with you if I didn't feel something back from you." Huh? The word "unrequited" pops up out of the dictionary and is all, "Yes, but what about meeeeeeee?" I mean, there's some faulty logic if ever I've heard it employed. But nevertheless, a good manipulation strategy in trying to get him to love her back. Kelly Jo also doesn't expect Eugene to respond because she knows he can't, so that takes some of the pressure off him so he can just make with the tonsil hockey (y'all know I would NEVER ordinarily use that expression, but...well, Alaska is very big into hockey) as the camera pans around and around. "You are fearless, aren't you?" Eugene asks like it's the point in the movie where she's just proclaimed her love for him against all odds. I don't get the sense that any of these people know that this is actually happening to them. It's really kind of disturbing, really.
Back in his periwinkle jumper confessional, Eugene cops to having been "caught off-guard" by Kelly Jo's declaration. But it was "nice to hear," in a way that he won't be choosing Kelly Jo. Back at dinner, Eugene replies that there are things he'd like to tell Kelly Jo as well, but he just kind of, well, can't. And isn't going to. "The sad part is I still have two more things I have to do." Two more things he has to do? What is this, a Midnight Madness party? That's gotta make the other girls feel real good right about now. Including, y'know, the winner.
Like we haven't seen this before. Eugene produces, just then, a card in an envelope, which he hands to Kelly Jo to read. It's the usual blah blah he'll be yours forever but only if you spend one night IN A HAUNTED HOUSE blah blah thing, about how they can forgo their individual rooms and spend the night together in the ickily-named and never changed "Fantasy Suite." They both pause for a cursory "hmmmm" before pouncing into bed. The room is filled with pillows and clichs for feminine cues connoting romance. ["Pastrami?" -- Wing Chun] Kelly Jo tells us that she hopes Eugene can't get her out of his head on her other dates. More of that sound you dread hearing when your college roommate stumbles in wasted with a girl and thinks they're not going to wake you up. Stupid freshman year.