This show is really going to run out of material for episode titles once Gary Busey gets fired. In honor of Easter or The Voice, this episode of Celebrity Apprentice is only an hour, which it should be every week. So, we are thankfully spared the 45+ minutes of hemming and hawing in the boardroom. Someone might get fired in the first ten minutes, I don't know. I could nominate about four or five celebrities to fire in the first ten minutes. But Omarosa wouldn't be on that list, because I, too, fear Omarosa in the boardroom.
"They are scared of my boardroom reputation," Omarosa notes in an interview, dressed in what looks like a cross between Jackie O's famous pink suit and Aretha Franklin's Inauguration Day bow hat. That is a power suit. Dennis Rodman isn't scared of her, though, and now that he has been brought back to the boardroom at every available opportunity, it's personal.
Which celebrity will be the first member of the Season 2 cast of Splash? Piers Morgan and the ugliest Trump son are here to help Donald Trump decide. Donald gathers the celebrities in front of the Trump Tower globe, which he commissioned. Then, Donald Trump explains in no uncertain terms, that paintings are 2D art, and sculptures are 3D art. Those are the two types of art. The celebrities will be selling the latter form.
Each team will form a gallery and sell art that they make to anyone with deep pockets and a need for charity tax write-offs in their future.
Team Power is down a member, and they ask Donald if they can have Trace Adkins. Donald accepts it as his idea first, and sends a reluctant Trace to Omarosa's plagued team. Lil Jon volunteers to be the Project Manager for Team Power, while Plan B nominates Lisa Rinna.
The teams hit the art store to make celebrity "art." Trace is audibly upset with the team change, asking an art store associate to shoot him, and picking up three packs of acrylic paint in one handful and calling it a day. Trace is fading fast.
Plan B sits down to plan who to call for big donors. Lisa Rinna is unsure about acting as Project Manager, since she's uncomfortable leading a fundraising task. Lisa Rinna's friends aren't rich. Just to be clear, though, even Lisa's poorest friends have more money than I do. Discussing their donor strategy, Stephen Baldwin is confused at Penn's postulation that the art doesn't matter. It's a fundraising task, but Stephen says, "specific to me, the art does matter."
Stephen goes off and pretends to make phone calls to raise money. Marilu and Penn are not buying it. Gary is also not likely to bring in much money. Lisa is upset that the other team got Trace, who has all the money connections. Trace may have used them in his closed meatball shop, though.
Lil Jon is working hard at making sure a big check goes to the American Diabetes Association. They should get him to do all their promotion, because I love the way he says American DiaBETES Association. Dennis Rodman knows he has no donors, so he brings in sports memorabilia to sell. Dennis turns out to be great with some paint and a beret, though, for a celebrity.
While Lisa works hard to raise funds, and impresses Penn in the process, Gary rolls up his sleeves to work with some clay. He tells Lisa that "art is only the search, it is not the final form." That makes sense, and anything stupid looking created by Gary Busey will make some cents, ya hear?
Gary creates the ugliest sculpture known to man and calls it "Lightning Strikes Mr. Hang Brain." I'm not sure he heard it's a fundraising task.
Piers Morgan walks in to check in on Team Power, and tells Lil Jon that Omarosa will undoubtedly raise the least amount of money and try to lie about it. Ugh, Piers sucks so much. Brande and Lil Jon vow to do the accounting this time around. Piers approaches Omarosa, to continue the feud he mistakenly thinks any of us care about. I hope he talks about how annoying he finds Howie Mandel.
On the day of the gallery show, it becomes clear that the celebrities forgot what 3D art is. Much of their art is 2D, "paintings and stuff" as Donald mentioned. Shoulda done more "sculptures and stuff." But the number of dimensions doesn't matter. Trace brings in loads of anonymous rich people to make sure he's not at the bottom of the pile.
Upsettingly, someone pays $25,000 for Mr. Hang Brain, which sends Gary into a chorus of "yay yay yay"s. Then Penn's friends, the Blue Man Group, bring in $35,000 packed into gelatin. Last time they came to donate money, they shot bills out of a cannon and it was not all retrieved. With friends like these, who needs a checkbook?
Penn also brings in another $50,000 from Teller. Stephen Baldwin waits around for someone to invest in his True Art. He bullshits his way through an explanation of the terrible piece, "I'm Not Alec." No sale.
Omarosa, in typical eel fashion, tries to wriggle her way out of the bottom two spots, which Lil Jon made clear would go back into the boardroom if they lose. She checks in with the totals, and discovers that she is tied with Dennis. Omarosa asks her friend, who brought in $5,000, to put an extra $2,000 in their pocket. I think that's cheating? Or does it not matter?
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One of Lisa's few rich friends, Chaz Dean, shows up to buy some shitty celebrity art that is only good as kindling. He spent $80,000 on kindling and friendship. Stephen Baldwin gets incredibly upset that Chaz, one of Lisa's people, swooped in and bought one of his "best pieces," which he had "a network of buyers" lined up for. Ahhh, woulda coulda shoulda.
In the boardroom, Lisa identifies Penn as a star player in this task. Stephen brought in "five," which everyone assumes is five thousand dollars. It could have been five dollars, which is what Stephen got for returning any un-used, un-opened art supplies. Stephen admitted to holding back on the last fundraising task, and is apparently still holding back from asking his brother to lend him money so he can stay on Celebrity Apprentice.
"Five grand and he's still on this show?!" Dennis Rodman laughs. Then, there's some confusion about whether the money belongs to the person who created the art, or the person who brought in the contact who bought it. Gary tells Trump he brought in $25,000, and Lisa corrects him, noting that that was Marilu's contact. Dennis Rodman distracts everyone from the issue at hand, when he loudly acknowledges that Gary is funny.
Trace lies, saying he doesn't have a preference for which team he's on. Omarosa thinks the team did well. We discover from light, handwritten bookkeeping that Dennis made $10,000, and Omarosa would have tied that had it not been for the mystery $2,000 she gave to her friend. Still, it wasn't enough to get her out of the bottom two. Even without Trace, Lisa Rinna's team wins. They go upstairs and Penn pretends to turn on the TV to watch the boardroom.
In the boardroom, Omarosa suggests that Lil Jon be fired, which makes Lil Jon and Dennis laugh out loud. Piers tries to jump on the Titanic of his relevance, pointing out that he was right and now "watch the scorpion sting." As though Lil Jon gives a rat's ass. Omarosa's logic is presented confidently, but faulty at the core.
Dennis Rodman is here to fight, not just to party this time. He notes that he donated his signed bat to the team to boost the total, and Piers backs him up saying Dennis brought very valuable "art" to the gallery. Piers tries to instigate with Omarosa, and this is the perfect storm for Omarosa to falter.
Donald Trump asks Trace, who has been silent this whole time, who he would fire. Trace says he would let them go at it for a few more minutes. Brande says she would fire Omarosa. Lil Jon brings back Omarosa and Dennis. Dennis tells Omarosa in the lobby that it's going to be a fight. In the boardroom, Donald Trump asks Piers for his input, and Eric stays silent, too sweaty and sleepy to have an opinion.
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By Carla Sparks
In the boardroom, Omarosa suggests that Lil Jon be fired, which makes Lil Jon and Dennis laugh out loud. Piers tries to jump on the Titanic of his relevance, pointing out that he was right and now "watch the scorpion sting." As though Lil Jon gives a rat's ass. Omarosa's logic is presented confidently, but faulty at the core.
Dennis Rodman is here to fight, not just to party this time. He notes that he donated his signed bat to the team to boost the total, and Piers backs him up saying Dennis brought very valuable "art" to the gallery. Piers tries to instigate with Omarosa, and this is the perfect storm for Omarosa to falter.
Donald Trump asks Trace, who has been silent this whole time, who he would fire. Trace says he would let them go at it for a few more minutes. Brande says she would fire Omarosa. Lil Jon brings back Omarosa and Dennis. Dennis tells Omarosa in the lobby that it's going to be a fight. In the boardroom, Donald Trump asks Piers for his input, and Eric stays silent, too sweaty and sleepy to have an opinion.
Lil Jon stands up for Dennis in the boardroom, identifying him as the harder worker. Omarosa loudly proclaims that she's still here. Dennis tries to structure a sentence with Omarosa yelling over him. Trump silences them (Donald, not Eric, who was just sitting there trying to figure out if he's the one whose fart he's smelling). Donald tells Omarosa that Dennis has a great story of redemption. Then he thanks Omarosa for helping make him a star, and fires her. Maybe now their team can win a task.
Eric Trump smiles as the Team Power members leave the board room, imagining what custom made women's underwear will be waiting for him to try on in his penthouse suite. The day, someone will fill him in on the events that just transpired. Eric will smile, knowing that he will always be rich enough to have secrets.
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