Anyway. The Apexiennes (all of whom, you'll remember, were there with Trump at the end to share their psychiatric expertise at the Stacie J. Borderline Personality Symposium) drag their suitcases and their judgmental asses back into the suite, and Stacy smirks with satisfaction as Jennifer C. explains that Stacie was fired after "it came out" (accidentally! There was nothing they could do!) that she behaved strangely during the first task. "And who said she had an episode?" Raj asks, moving directly to the nitty-gritty. We cut to Ivana pointing to Maria, just as Maria points to Elizabeth. You can see how that's Reason Number Two, I'm sure, and we're not even five minutes into the show. But, you know, I guess it's no "this would be a great time to show a still of Judy singing 'Somewhere Over The Rainbow' at Caesar's Palace." Maria retells the story of the Terrifying Night of the Living Magic 8-Ball, as Kevin leans back and tosses someone a skeptical look. I begin to compose love poetry for Kevin in my head. Maria explains how Trump went with the "if two people who hate each other agree that you're nuts, you must be" theory. Under which Trump himself would have been locked up years ago, because I'm betting the original Ivana 1.0 and I would not get along at all.
Kevin is irked, as he does not remember seeing any relevant diplomas on the walls of the Apexienne bedrooms and doesn't believe he heard that he's supposed to be calling any of them "Doctor Snotty-Ass Bitch." "None of you guys are equipped to know whether or not she's actually psychologically unstable," he says sharply. Sandy leans forward and demands to know whether any of his teammates have ever made him feel "threatened." Jennifer M. jumps in on Kevin's side, agreeing that they all felt a little wigged when it happened, but pointing out that the time they brought it up was in the Boardroom. "Nobody ponied up," she says, "and went and did anything in between." Kevin is more blunt: "The fact that it's even on the table pisses me off." He looks around, asking whether anyone on the team has any experience that would equip her to judge someone else's mental health. And no, being pathologically self-absorbed doesn't count, as it's not really a "learn by doing" kind of situation. Jennifer M. adds that if they were going to make such a huge deal out of Stacie's behavior, they should have brought it up sooner. "It came out because all of you were threatened about being fired," Kevin points out. "And so you used that against her." In an interview, Jennifer M. reiterates that Stacie was not the reason for the failure in the toothpaste task, and that she was made into a scapegoat for the team. Specifically, Elizabeth was a terrible PM, and the setting up of Stacie meant that Elizabeth "dodged a bullet." Elizabeth, back in the S5 discussion, defends herself by insisting that Stacie screwed up the stuff she was supposed to do on the task, persisting in the face of Jennifer M.'s reminder that even Trump and Carolyn specifically pointed out that whatever Stacie did or didn't do, those things weren't the reasons why the team lost.
“ It's also the part where Ivana praises herself for keeping the team 'hydrated.' No, really. Without her, there would have been no hostessing, because of the swollen tongues. ”
Now, for the most part, as we've said, we're ignoring the E!B!F!, but you simply must know that at this point in the E!B!F!, they showed a looooong clip -- literally thirty seconds -- of the women just talking all at the same time, arguing, yelling, and bitching, as Bill, Trump, and Carolyn watch in horror. Awesome. It's also the part where Ivana praises herself for keeping the team "hydrated." No, really. Without her, there would have been no hostessing, because of the swollen tongues.
Anyway, in my favorite moment of all, Stacy cuts in, "Mr. Trump? She's a finger-pointer!" And right then, we spin around to see Stacy, literally pointing her finger at Jennifer C. Heh, Reason Number Eight. "And she never points the finger at herself," Stacy finishes. Carolyn, now rather disgusted, says, "Why can't you women get along?" She's still talking, but Jenn jumps in and keeps talking over her. "Jenn, can you stop interrupting?" Carolyn asks. "Jenn, Jenn." Finally, Jenn stops digging. Er, talking. "Easy," Carolyn says. Jenn leans forward with this "What's your problem, Carolyn?" little eye-pop that's ridiculously rude, and we then see Bill flash-frown like, "Did you just MAKE A FACE at Carolyn?" (Reason Number Nine, for those of you still keeping score at home.) "There are seven women here," Carolyn says. "Seven women can't work together. I'm embarrassed to be a businesswoman right now." "Me, too," Jenn jumps in, still not getting it. At all. "Jenn, can't you stay quiet for one second?" Carolyn asks.
Trump turns to Sandy and asks who she'd fire. Sandy does the stammering hedge-dance. (E!B!F! Bill: "You're dancing. You're dancing, I've been there." Hee.) "Do me a favor," Trump says. "Just give me a name. Who would you fire?" "Jennifer," Sandy says. A cymbal rolls as Jenn looks up, mortified. Trump asks Maria what she thinks of Jennifer's leadership. "I think the leadership has talked the talk but [not] walked the walk," she says, as if she really regrets having to say it, which she completely doesn't. And honestly, again with the parroting! Unbelievable! They can't even come up with their own bitchy remarks, which is just sad. Have a little pride, ladies. Jennifer shakes her head. "I made decisions and I stuck to them," she says. She says that she didn't want the team to fall victim to changing their minds and "doubting [themselves]." Yeah, she wanted to just forge ahead with her ideas, no matter how crappy they turned out to be. It's a good way to run a country, too, I keep hearing. Trump asks Jennifer to choose either two or three people to come to the final table. Jenn says she'll choose two. She'll bring Elizabeth and Stacy. "Sounds personal," Carolyn says. "It's personal," Stacy says dismissively, as if she's above that sort of thing. Which, as we know, she's not.