Props to Teenes and Autodidact.
A doctor named Rabinaw exits a gated psychiatric ward. Even the crazies are getting snooty and want to keep out the riff-raff. Rabinaw stops to chat with a nurse, and sees that she's doing a crossword puzzle. He asks for one of the clues, and she reads, "In a mellifluous manner. Seven letters, ends in a 'Y.'" He thinks about it and then says, "Give me another one." It seems like the answer should be "sweetly." It also seems like this is an in-joke of some kind, so maybe it isn't "sweetly" after all. Or maybe the point is that he's not very good at crossword puzzles. Maybe I'm overanalyzing. The puzzling (the doctor's and mine) is interrupted when another nurse calls for Rabinaw. He hurries into another gated corridor.
A patient named Philip has collapsed after taking his meds. Hey! They said "meds" instead of "drugs" this time. Good for them. Rabinaw checks him and asks the nurse how much lithium she gave Philip. The nurse whoopsies that she gave him Thorazine. The doctor abandons his unconscious patient (nice one, doc) and frantically looks through the nurse's notes to find out who missed his or her dose of Thorazine. He stops at one page and moans, "Oh, God." Just then, crashing noises start up.
Rabinaw calls for a goon (I think they're probably called "orderlies," but for the purpose of this episode they're goons) and enters another gated section of hallway. The crashes are coming from a door at the end of the hall. Then the crashes stop, and so do Rabinaw and the goon. Just as Rabinaw sighs with relief, the door is knocked off its hinges. Thank goodness Slayers and vampires are mortal enemies, because if they ever teamed up, we'd be living in a world without doors. A girl walks out into the hall, and we finally find out whatever happened to Skank of Rick. Apparently, she's now a crazy girl named Dana. I can tell Dana's crazy, because her hair is brushed forward in a tangled mass over her face. And I don't mean just a little. Someone took a brush and pulled it all forward over her face and shoulders so that we'd know she's crazy. The hospital gown and the glazed look on her face wouldn't have been enough of a clue. Rabinaw tries to speak soothingly as he and the goon retreat and close the gate. Another goon arrives just as Dana sees a needle in Rabinaw's hand, and promptly pulls the gate apart. The goons start waving clubs around, and get beaten up for their trouble. Then Dana sees a cart of medical gear and picks up a bone saw that just happened to be lying around in this psychiatric ward. This hospital gets creepier every minute. While Dana looks over the saw, one of the orderlies sneaks up and clubs her over the head. Dana reacts by swinging the saw out and doing something I think we can assume is fatal to the orderly's neck. Rabinaw runs away, and Dana turns to the other orderly, who's moaning on the floor. She bends over him with the axe, and then there are some impressively gross sound effects. Dana stands up and turns to face the camera as she draws bloody lines down her face with her fingertips.
“ Spicule will wind up doing what every other character on Angel has done, but times two. We can't wait till he gets pregnant with twins, then kidnaps them from himself and has sex with them. Ew. ”
Credits. I'll just mention that I'm very happy this episode finally aired. Because Johanna's mostly unspoiled, but sometimes I tell her things when I just can't keep them to myself, especially if I can't stop laughing about them. So it's my own fault, but for weeks it's been, "When are they cutting off Spicule's hands? When? Do his hands get cut off week?" The hand-severing naturally reminded her of Lindsey, and led to her theorizing that Spicule will wind up doing what every other character on Angel has done, but times two. We can't wait till he gets pregnant with twins, then kidnaps them from himself and has sex with them. Ew. Okay, we can wait for the last part.
Gunn walks down the hall. He's wearing a grey vest and pants over a pale blue shirt. Mmm, vest. Mmm, shoulders. Gunn's pretty. He's saying stuff, too, I guess. Fred wanders in, and it takes me a long time to notice that she's actually wearing jeans instead of another miniskirt. That's nice. Come to think of it, they did a very nice job dressing everyone in this episode. Gunn finishes his call, and Fred asks if he's "playing chicken with the District Attorney." Gunn insists that it's just a professional rivalry, and that they save their real conflicts for the golf course. Fred huhs, and Gunn explains that his lawyer upgrade came with bonus golf-playing skills, too. Okay, this is officially a running gag now, right? As long as it's intentional. Fred complains that our forefathers (a quartet!) didn't envision golf as part of our judicial system. Gunn argues that they've done a lot of good at Wolfram & Hart: "Lives saved, disasters averted, with all our fingers and souls still attached." Heh. Heh heh heh. He insists that they made the right choice in joining Wolfram & Hart.
Cut to Angel, saying that maybe joining Wolfram & Hart was a mistake. He's talking to Wesley and Cary in his office as Gunn and Fred enter. Cary mentions "Parasite Eve," and Gunn nervously asks if Angel is firing her. They discuss what they should do about her misbehavior last week, and Gunn argues that Eve is the Senior Partners' liaison: "Move against her without solid proof, and it could end in a long, bloody fight." Angel sighs, "I think I liked you better when you just wanted to hit people." I know I did. On the other hand, there's the vest. Tough call. Cary asks, "So we aren't gonna snap Twiggy into little sticks?" Hee. Angel agrees with Gunn that it's too risky. Gunn says that they can "restrict her access" and keep an eye on her. Good lord, why weren't they keeping an eye on her before? Morons.
Harmony enters and announces that "some loony's hatched from the bin." Thinking this is someone else's problem, Wesley tells Harmony to notify the authorities. Harmony harrumphs that they'll need an exorcist to catch the girl. Angel asks, "She's possessed?" Harmony replies, "Duh! Didn't I say that?" Wesley hops up to form a search party, maybe because he's thinking this is his big chance to find his very own crazy girl, and he can hug her and pet her and squeeze her and call her Georgina. Angel says that possession cases have to be handled with finesse.
Over at the nuthouse, the doors of two elevators open simultaneously. Angel and Spicule step out of their elevators and see each other. Okay, I think two "ironic juxtaposition" segues in a row is more than sufficient. Quit it. Spicule laughs, and Angel ignores him and walks onward. Angel's wearing a lovely three-quarter-length jacket. I love it. Wish he'd tuck his damn shirt in underneath it, though. Why doesn't he? Is that the look now? Is it that he's got a gut? I don't care if he has a gut. Tuck in the shirt! Or give him another hoodie or some kind of shirt that doesn't need to be tucked in. But this just looks sloppy. Angel marches on and asks Spicule why he's there. Spicule says he's "hero of the people now." Angel snaps, "Then go annoy them." He doesn't ask how Spicule knew about the escapee, sadly. I'd say that Lindsey sent Spicule, except how would Lindsey know, and why would Lindsey care? As they pass the security gate Dana mangled, Angel eyes it and asks Spicule, "Shouldn't you be out protecting the streets from people like you?" They reach the offices, which are, oddly, not by the elevators. The crossword-puzzling nurse and Rabinaw ask what their visitors want. Angel hands over his business card and says he's going to find Dana for them. Rabinaw, confused, says, "A lawyer?" and adds that he told the police everything. Angel asks him to go over it again in case he forgot something. Spicule says, "What he said. But with a bit more of a threat at the end."
We cut straight past whatever explanation Angel gives for his interest in Dana's case. Or at least, the gap in time allows me to pretend that Angel did offer an explanation. Angel examines Dana's room, which is covered with childish drawings of monsters menacing people. Rabinaw explains that Dana's family was murdered when she was ten, and that the murderer kidnapped Dana and tortured her for months before she was found wandering the streets, almost catatonic. Rabinaw adds that, a few months ago, Dana became more agitated and began to display "inhuman strength." Spicule sniffs, "Demon possession," which Rabinaw scoffs at. Spicule insists, "I've got a demon [that] needs repossessing," and stomps out. Angel apologizes for Spicule's behavior: "He's -- is 'pathological idiot' an actual condition?" Rabinaw unhappily says that Angel should stop Spicule: "If he finds Dana, he's gonna wind up dead like the others." Angel mutters, "He'll just end up coming back." Ha! Rabinaw leaves, and Angel looks around at the drawings of monsters and people in graveyards. "What isn't he telling me?" Angel wonders. He turns around and sees the crossword-puzzling nurse in the doorway. She significantly mentions that the doctor videotaped his sessions with Dana, and Angel asks to see the tapes.
Cut to a big grocery store. Or maybe it's a Wal-Mart-y place, since it seems to have a lot of stuff besides food. A clerk notices Dana munching on something in one of the aisles. The fact that she's wearing the hospital gown and slippers does not give him pause. Or maybe it does, since he's pretty nice about explaining that she has to go pay for the food before she can eat it. Dana ignores him, so he puts his hand on her shoulder and tells her more firmly to stop. Dana snaps his arm. While he wails, she picks up her saw and I get a little nervous, but she just steps over him and walks away.
“ Cut to Dana walking out of the store, wearing the grey t-shirt under a flannel top. Her move: form a band. ”
In the "miscellaneous clothing" aisle of whatever the hell kind of store this is, Dana pulls on a pair of jeans. She reaches up and grabs a grey t-shirt, and then stares at it. Quick flashback of a man wearing a grey shirt walking past some bars. Then a shot of some tools on a workbench. A hand picks up a hacksaw or something like that. Then we see young Dana, chained to some pipes and crying. I can tell it's Dana because, even back then, she had crazy hair. As Dana keeps staring at the shirt, a security guard appears with his gun aimed at her. He says that he doesn't want to have to hurt her. Dana turns her head slowly, the way someone on a TV show does when they're about to get very violent. She does it well, though.
Cut to Dana walking out of the store, wearing the grey t-shirt under a flannel top. Her move: form a band. Oh, and she's still got her saw, which appears to have been freshly used.
Angel watches the videotapes of Dana's "therapy." She's in a straitjacket, twisting around angrily and chanting gibberish. The nurse explains that Rabinaw was planning to do a book about Dana: "That's why he doesn't want anyone to know about [the videotapes]." Yes, that makes perfect -- what? Angel asks the nurse if she's the one who called Wolfram & Hart. The nurse explains that her cousin works at the firm, and that she thought this might "get her foot in the door." Yes, that makes perfect -- double-what? Okay, I guess, if the nurse thought Dana was possessed and knew that Wolfram & Hart were into the demon hijinks. And the tapes would lead to that conclusion, since we see Dana channeling deep raspy voices. I still don't understand why it's a deep dark secret that a doctor was writing a book about his patient, though. Angel notices something and rewinds to listen again. "It's Romanian," he says. The nurse asks if he understands it, and Angel tensely says that he does.
Police cars surround the mysterious store of random things. Spicule wanders through, unmolested, as they cart away the wounded. He sees a few drops of blood in the parking lot, dips his finger in them, and sniffs. And away he goes. I wish we'd seen him pretending to be a cop or something. It was pretty funny when Angel did that, and it would fit in with Spicule's string of impressions. Or maybe Spicule could pretend to be a reporter. For the Enquirer or something.
From his car, Angel calls Wesley and orders him to put together an assault team with "non-lethal ordnance." Wesley says he's been brushing up on demonic possessions. Angel interrupts: "That's not what's happening."
Dana wanders through an abandoned building while Angel voice-overs about all the drawings of demons. Angel adds that there's a girl in some of the drawings, but that each one is different, so they aren't Dana. Then he mentions the videos that showed Dana speaking different languages. Dana stares out the window at the Los Angeles skyline. "Likin' the view?" Spicule asks. Dana turns to look as Spicule says he wants to have a chat "about mistreating little girls. Demon to demon." He vamps out.
Angel tells Wesley, "She was yelling about being chosen. She's not a demon, Wes. She's a vampire Slayer."
Dana stares at vamped-out Spicule and gets a happy, evil grin. I like her.
Commercials. Hey, they figured out the whole problem in the first act. That's refreshing. Especially since the commercials kept mentioning that she was a Slayer, so I'm glad they didn't try to save that as a surprise twist. Okay, here's on thing: Angel recognized the Romanian. I'm fine with that. But why was Dana speaking Romanian? Doesn't that imply there was a Romanian Slayer at some point? Do you think the infamous Gypsy girl was a Slayer? And maybe Darla and Angel didn't even know? Or maybe they did and didn't care to mention it, but I think it's funnier if they didn't know. Granted, I'm not sure any of it is intentional, but I have to keep myself entertained somehow.
When we return, Dana swipes at Spicule with the saw. They fight. He tosses her into some rubble, and then gets a bit less cocky when she trades the saw for a broken shard of wood. They spin and swat and then Spicule just barely manages to keep Dana from shoving the stake into him. She growls at him in what I'll take Teene's word for is Mandarin. Spicule chirps, "Sorry, luv, I don't speak Chinese." He knocks her back and goes into slo-mo. Which turns out to be a poor decision, since Dana grabs him by his coat and tosses him out the window.
Spicule crashes to the ground, and apparently he had enough presence of mind to devamp in mid-air. An Angelmobile 2.0 rolls to a stop behind him. Yes, I, too, thought Angel might just crash into Spicule, and then say, "Oh, sorry, bad brakes on this thing." Instead, Angel hops out of the car and angrily asks what happened. Spicule sulks, "I just thought I'd see what it was like to bounce off the pavement. Pretty much what I expected." Angel says that a team is on the way, and orders Spicule to stay out of it. How'd he find Spicule so quickly, anyway? Can he trace Spicule's scent (ew) from inside a car? Maybe it's better not to think about it. Spicule says he knows what's wrong with the girl: "Chinese demon. Maybe a water dragon, or one of those elemental thingies." Angel huffs and walks away. Spicule calls after him: "What?"
And suddenly Angel and Spicule are back at Wolfram & Hart. What happened to the team that was on the way? I'm confused. It's fine if the girl escaped and they went back to form a new plan, but a single line of explanation might have been nice. Instead, we cut to Spicule saying, "A psychotic vampire Slayer." Angel asks how many times Spicule is going to say that. I love the idea that he kept repeating that the whole ride home. Angel grumps that Spicule let the girl get away. Well, that resembles an explanation, except it doesn't really explain anything. Angel adds that Wesley contacted Giles, who "sent in his top guy to retrieve [Dana]."