Props to Salamander & llexuus.
Previously on Angel, I taught Word to recognize "necrotempered." There are no actual "previously"s. I don't think they're ever helpful, but it seems like a slightly disturbing acknowledgment that nothing that happened in the past will matter. Maybe they should just give the show some memorable opening narration where a mysterious voice explains the premise. I love those things, you know.
We slowly pan past three cars and a motorcycle. Based on the dialogue we can hear, the MoG are having an nighttime picnic. I hope Gunn remembered the glow-in-the-dark Frisbee. We pan past the cars some more. They keep making a big deal about these freaking cars. I think we're supposed to be telling all our friends, "Yeah, you may not have liked the show last time you watched it, but this season, oh my God, it's amazing, because they have a whole lot of cars! Let me lend you my tapes, because once you see these cars, you'll be totally hooked!" I mean, who cares? They do know that Fastlane was on last season, right?
We finally finish admiring the vehicles and see that the MoG appear to be near a monument of some kind. Or maybe Los Angeles is littered with cement chairs in gazebos. I don't know. They are still talking about Chinese food, we but now we can see that there's no actual food. Instead, Fred is waving around a gizmo. She declares, "We're clean, nobody's listening." Angel immediately snaps that Wesley was late, and Wesley sniffs that he thought he was being followed. Gunn wants to know why they're hiding from the company they run. Angel says they're just being careful. Hey, he's wearing a leather jacket again. With a hoodie under it. Odd. Fred reminds the others that not everyone at Wolfram & Hart is evil: "Some of them, I see more than I see you guys, at least lately, anyway." Wesley butts in, "And you think you can trust him?" Off Fred's confusion, Wesley offers, "Them." Then he faces away from the group and clarifies, "Knox, for example." I just can't believe we have to go through all of this again. It wasn't interesting the first time! I'm not kidding, this had better end with Spicule getting kidnapped. Or at least Darth Burger. Fred single-entendres that she and Knox are just co-workers, and insists that he isn't evil. Angel wants to know what the Senior Partners are up to, and Gunn mentions that they haven't been able to find out much, but they've only been there a month. Wow, time flies. Soon they'll be in the present. So, yeah, they're all very busy, although Wesley has enough free time to be jealous of Knox and paranoid about Gunn. Wesley's worried that Wolfram & Hart might have done something evil while making the "alteration to [Gunn's] mental capacity." Gunn quickly says, "My capacity's the same as it's always been." And I appreciate their clarifying that Gunn wasn't dumb, except then Gunn adds, "The good doctor just revved up some idling brain cells." Oh, that's much better: "I'm not dumb, I just wasn't using most of my brain!" I'm all full of hate again. Anyway, Gunn says, "Everybody got something out of this." Angel sniffs, "Fear, mistrust, a great motor pool." You left out depression, anger, and potential liver damage, but I didn't get any moto-- oh. He means they got that stuff. Got it. Cary chimes in, without the sarcasm, to mention that he's now the proud owner of a Nancy Sinatra collection. Well, it is an evil company. And Wesley got: a pen. He even takes it out and shows it to us, adding, "Sterling." Plot point! You can tell, because after that the conversation shifts back to Gunn and how nobody trusts him. Fred and Wesley repeat that they're very busy with their departments and clients and good ol' Spicule. Angel insists that they'll "release" Spicule from Wolfram & Hart, but Wesley says, "That could take years." I need a drink. Actually, I think we all do. This round's on me. Then there's some Spicule-exposition, and Fred says "He's more than a ghost. He's unique." Yes, Spicule is the very special-est being in the whole wide world. I heard. Angel -- bored by all the Spiculation (ho ho!) -- abruptly borrows Wesley's pen and walks off.
Cut to a girl in pink sweats running through the park and screaming. An unseen scary monster rawrs at her. She trips and falls. We get a quick shot of a wolfy head. She screams.
Credits. Johanna and I discuss Angel's outfit, because I'm glad he gets to wear leather occasionally. I'm still confused by the hoodie, though. I suggest that he's wearing it to hide the fact that he's wearing the amulet. Theirs is a forbidden love. We wonder if Wesley is acting so infatuated with his pen because he's trying to make Angel and/or the amulet jealous. Johanna says, "I think Angel carries the amulet in his hoodie the way some people carry their ferrets."
Oh, we're back. The girl squeals as the werewolf attacks. You know it's a werewolf, right? Cool. It slashes her arm, and she clubs it with a handy branch. POV-shot of the wolf-mask being jabbed at the camera. Angel rushes in where fools fear to tread, tackling the werewolf and rolling it off the girl. He does his usual spin-kick thing. There are a lot of fast cuts, which could be intended to hide the stuntmen or the werewolf costume. Or both. I mean, it's not a bad costume, and I'm glad they went back to a wolfier face instead of that Lon Chaney-as-King Kong look, but the mask isn't very articulate, which means the mouth is always half-open. I started wondering how it could bite anyone when the poor thing's clearly got bone wedged in its jaw. The werewolf gets knocked down, and as it gets up, Angel stabs it in the neck with Wesley's pen. And then we're looking down at a naked Grizzly Adams. Yikes. Angel looks around as we hear a car start and tires squeal. "Dammit," he says mechanically.
At Wolfram & Hart, Angel shows Gunn the nice sketch he did of the girl. Angel says that he's sure she was bitten, because he smelled her blood. Or smelled her X chromosomes. Something. Gunn expositions that there are still two more nights of full-moon-ness, so they have to find this chick before she hurts someone. Angel is worried about the girl herself, since she won't know what's happening to her. Gunn says she'll figure it out: "McManus did, the guy you --" "Killed," Angel sighs. Gunn's tracked down McManus via police records and credit reports, which would have been Fred's job except that she's doing Wesley's job. I hope they're all keeping their résumés up-to-date. Anyway, McManus left his family a few years ago and has been traveling around the country since then. Gunn adds, "The first year or so, a few mangled bodies showed up here and there, but [for] the last six months, guy was leaving corpses like bread crumbs." Angel guesses McManus tried to fight it for a while and gave up. More awkward looping as he pontificates, "Thought he had to fight it alone -- ended up with nothing worth fighting for." As they step into the elevator, Angel adds that the girl won't have to face it alone: "She's got us."
Fred's working in her office. Spicule steps inside through the closed door, because he's a ghost, and immediately gets peeved because Fred isn't making his problem her top priority. He snits, "I'm a bloody phantom. And you and your serious-girl spectacles were gonna help me with my bloody little problem." Fred says that she "bloody will." She mentions having some ideas, and Spicule yaps, "Really? What? What ideas?" He says that the disappearances are getting worse, and lasting for longer periods. Fred asks, "How long?" Not long enough, obviously. Can anyone explain to me why she cares? All she knows is that he's the yappy ghost of a vampire with a soul, and that Angel doesn't like him. He's not offering to do anything for them; he just keeps insisting that they have to help, and gets pissy when he's not the center of their universe. He says, "If you don't do something soon, one of these times, I may not come back." And then their problem is solved. ? Fred suggests asking Wesley for help. Spicule nixes that, claiming that they have a history. Johanna thought that Fred should have said, "You used to date?" Ominous music starts up as Spicule says, "He was a young Watcher, fresh out of the academy, when we crossed paths. It was a, what-you-call, battle of wills. And blood was spilled. Vendettas were sworn. It was a whole..." Fred interrupts, "You're so full of crap." Thank heavens. I was terrified for a minute there. Spicule says that he doesn't want anyone else to know about his "condition." They know he's a ghost; they know he vanishes sometimes. What's the secret? Maybe he doesn't want them to know that he's going to hell, because then they might think, "Well, perhaps you deserve to." Fred heads for the door while explaining that she will try to help him, but right now the were-girl is a bigger priority.
Cut to the lab, where Fred and Wesley are fussing over computers while Angel just fusses. He's whining that, despite Wolfram & Hart's resources, they still haven't found any leads on the girl. Suddenly, Spicule says, "Bloody shame, letting the girl run off like that. Somebody's slipping." Angel ignores Spicule, and I follow his lead. Wesley says, "Psychics are working on traces of the girl's blood. They picked up images -- imprints." He shows Angel a blurry image of a bedroom. Angel asks if they can make it clearer, but Wesley says it isn't like a photograph. So then, what's the point of doing it? In a corner of the room, McManus's body is being examined by John Billingsley as Dr. Royce. Wesley introduces Royce as "the cryptozoologist on [his] staff." Why would he be on Wesley's staff, and not Fred's? What exactly is Wesley's department, anyway? Oh well. Royce says that McManus was a rare breed of werewolf, which is intended to placate people who wonder why these werewolves aren't exactly like Oz, as if "he looked like a monkey" isn't a good enough reason. Royce goes on about the differences among the breeds, and Angel says he just cares about the girl. Spicule says the girl is "in the kill-or-be-killed club." Shut up, Spicule. He doesn't, though: "Catch her after she goes all growly, won't be easy taking her out. I had a wee spat with a werewolf myself once. Fought for over an hour. Brutal, vicious. Almost lost my --" Fred interrupts: "Angel killed him with a pen." Ha.
Cut to the girl in her bed. Her name is Nina, by the way. She moans and shifts uncomfortably, and then finally gets up. Close-up on her ear as she hears a girl giggling nearby. She gets up, and holy cow her bedroom is huge, and then she wanders out of the room.
Nina walks into a kitchen. A woman in scrubs is cooking with her young daughter. Nina asks, "How long was I out for?" The woman says "All day. I figured you must be sick." She slyly adds that Zach called, and that he missed seeing her in their art class. Nina is distracted by the overly-loud buzzing of a fly at the window. The daughter asks what happened to Nina's neck, which has a purple bruise on it. Nina pulls her hair back and tries to check out her neck in the reflection of a shiny kettle. Right. "I will look at distorted and unhelpful reflection here, rather than walking ten steps to the bathroom, because then we'll need to build another set." The woman wraps some ice in a towel and hands it to Nina while searchingly asking, "Is there something you wanna tell me?" Nina says, "I must've tripped on my run." See, the problem with treating the supernatural monsters with great seriousness is that then the everyday elements become more inexplicable. Nina knows she went out for a jog, a monster attacked her, and now she's got cuts and bruises and feels funky. I could understand why she wouldn't want to mention the monster, but rather than saying, "A mugger jumped me, I ran, I fell, I hurt myself, and maybe I should see a doctor because I feel funky," she's lying about parts that don't matter. And not lying very well, either: "I don't exactly remember tripping and falling onto my neck, but clearly, I must have." Then Nina's distracted by the hamburgers sizzling on a griddle. The woman asks if Nina can babysit the girl, Amanda, that night. Nina, still distracted, says she can, and goes on watching the burgers. Amanda says, "Aunt Nina," helping to clarify the relationships. Nina looks at her and sees nasty claw marks suddenly materialize across Amanda's throat. She gasps, and the marks are gone as Amanda asks, "Are you okay?" Nina insists that she's fine.
Back at the lab, Fred is telling Cary that the fine lines on the tire prints suggest that I need to plunges a needle full of adrenaline into my veins to stay wake. Oh, sorry, that was me. It wasn't enough for them to show us a lot of shiny cars; now we are also spending time watching them talk about cars. Cars! And forensics evidence! Woo! Spicule says some stuff. You could completely cut his lines out of this scene without making any significant difference to the story, except that it would speed it up. Maybe the writers hate the character at this point. I can't say that I'd blame them. Anyway, then Cary says, "Color me clever. Sister gets slammed around by a werewolf, she's putting pedal to metal. I mean, red light, green light, same diff." Gunn translates that and realizes they should look for traffic-camera footage of a car running lights in the area. Big Brother saves the day! Gunn sits down at a computer saying, "You get set to run with it if I find a match. 'Course, I might leak the info to the senior partners, 'cause we're tight." "Just do it," Wesley grumps. Fred tells Angel that "the van" is ready, and he expositions that they have less than an hour till moonrise. Spicule talks. Angel finally acknowledges Spicule's presence long enough to say, "You know that woosh thing that you do when you're suddenly not there anymore? I love that." Heh. I'd like it if Spike became corporeal just long enough to get bitten, so he could be a ghostly were-vampire with a soul. Gunn finds a car driven by a blonde on the traffic cameras, and hands Angel a printout of Nina's address. I just realized something. Nina apparently left her suburban neighborhood and drove to a park to go for a jog through a park at night. Huh? Maybe the park is to where she takes her art class, so she goes to class, changes into sweats, and then jogs in the evening before driving home. I don't know if that makes a lot more sense.
Amanda is sketching Nina's portrait. The noise of the pencil on the paper starts bothering Nina, and she suddenly looks ill. She says she needs to lie down, and goes upstairs, holding her arms out to steady herself so that we can admire her cleavage. That's foreshadowing, as it turns out.
Nina walks into her bedroom, closes the door, and collapses onto the floor. Amanda hears the noise and starts upstairs as Nina begins to thrash about. Oh, an innocent, angelic child in danger! It's like a Spielberg film! As Amanda nears the door, calling for her aunt, Nina sits up and does a little tribute to An American Werewolf in London, holding her hand up to her face as her fingers and teeth lengthen.
Commercials. Johanna and I try to understand if they intend to make Spicule incredibly pointless and annoying, or if they think his ceaseless bitchery is actually intended as refreshing and honest and charming or whatever. God knows I was tired of the guy on Buffy, but at least he never reminded me of a Pomeranian over there. I think it's because he so clearly has nothing to do, and no way to do it, so they've just got him talking and talking and talking. Johanna declares that they should just give up on trying to gradually work him into the gang organically, or whatever they're doing, because it's just torture. Start week's episode with a title card that says, "Then Spicule became corporeal and joined the MoG" and move the hell on already.
Full moon. Nina's all wolfed out and twitching on the floor. Amanda is still calling for her, and starts to reach for the doorknob. Nina stands up and growls. I really think it would have been worth making a second mask with its mouth closed. Suddenly, Angel speaks from the window, saying, "Hey doggie, come and get it." Nina turns and lunges for the window, and she and Angel fall to the ground outside.
Angel and Nina tussle briefly, but then several tranquilizer darts are fired into Nina's chest, and she topples. Angel turns to Wesley, holding the tranq gun, and says, "Nice shot." They look back at the house.
Amanda enters the empty bedroom and looks around.
Moon-vert to sunrise. Nina, dewolfed, wakes up naked in a cell. We have a chance to admire a lot of skin before she gasps, "Oh, God," and quickly grabs a pile of clothes that were left just outside the cage.
Once she's dressed, Angel enters the room, but it looks like he was standing just outside and watching her get dressed through a little window in the door. Perv. He opens the cell, introduces himself, and tries to reassure her that she's safe. Nina nervously says that's great, and then tries to rush past him. Angel grabs her as she freaks out and screams for help. Angel says, "That's what I'm trying to do, Nina." Nina replies, "Said the psychorapist. How do you know my name?" Johanna points out that the captions were slightly ahead of the dialogue here, so it read as if Nina said, "Said the psycho-rapist," and then Angel replied, "How do you know my name?" Hee. Angel says he wants to show her something. And then he starts to unbuckle his belt. Ew! Not really. He would never cheat on the amulet.
Up in Angel's office, Angel is showing Nina footage of the caged werewolf on his PowerBook. I'm sorry we missed the scene where Fred set up the computer for him. Nina says, "Okay, it is very nice screensaver, but I don't really care that much." The footage is very dim and shadowy, so Nina asks what she's looking at. Angel asks if she remembers being attacked two nights ago. Nina hms, "Wait. Yeah. I remember that I --" On the laptop, the werewolf starts to twitch and collapses. Nina gasps, "That thing attacked me!" Wait, so she wasn't lying to her sister; she honestly didn't remember? Shouldn't that, by itself, trigger some alarms in her head? "I went jogging, I don't remember what happened, and now I feel woozy and have odd bruises, but I see no reason to mention that to my sister, the medical professional." Angel explains that he heard Nina's screams, but that he was a little late. Nina watches as the werewolf on the laptop morphs into herself. "This is insane," she notes accurately. Angel says, "You may have already started to feel the effects: distorted vision, heightened senses." Nina talks about smelling the blood as the burgers cooked, then worries about Amanda. Angel tries to reassure her some more, telling her that everyone's okay. Nina shrieks, "I wanted to rip her throat out!" Hey, who hasn't been annoyed by a kid? Angel says that wasn't her, it was the wolf. Nina whines, "You didn't wake up and find out you're a monster. You don't know anything." Angel stutters, "I'm not a...werewolf, like you, b-b-but I, I know what it's like. I'm a monster, too." Nina eyes him and asks, "So, what, you're like a Frankenstein?" Heh. Angel, taken aback, sniffs, "What? No!" He rubs his forehead uncomfortably, and explains that he's a vampire. He quickly adds that he has a soul and isn't evil, and neither is Nina. Nina says, "Vampires kill people, and they --" Angel interrupts, "Can control themselves if they want to. I do it every day, and so can you." Nina sighs and sits down, and then asks if Angel can cure her. Angel can't, but he can keep her safe. I just noticed, Angel's hair is a little spikier again. But it's also still pretty long, so now it's like he's gradually turning into Sid Vicious. Maybe that's to balance out Spicule's transformation into Justin Timberlake.
Angel exits the office and tells Fred and Royce that Nina agreed to stay in a cell for the night; he then asks what their move is. Spicule appears down the hall, makes unhelpful comments as he strides along, and is roundly ignored. That's hilarious. He's not even walking toward them; it's like, "Well, that's all I had to contribute here. I'm due to irritate someone up on the fourteenth floor now, toodles." Royce says that "these first few transformations are the worst" because of the disorientation. Fred wonders if Nina might hurt herself, and Angel suggests tranquilizing her. Royce doesn't think that's a good idea, but offers, "They like familiar scents, images. Maybe if you took her home, let her get a few things, could have a calming effect." Across the room, Spicule says that "fetching her blankie" won't help. The mailman in the wrestling mask passes behind him. It's like even the director knows that Spicule is boring, so they're putting little odd things in the background so that we have something to think about. Spicule adds that when Nina's not wolfed out, "she'll be wracked by the guilties, what with a soul and all." If they keep her from hurting anyone, what's she got to feel guilty about? Also, shut up, Spicule. Angel replies, "Didn't seem to bother you." Spicule whines, "It's been nothing but a pain in my" and vanishes. "Finally," Angel and the rest of the world sigh. Angel volunteers to take Nina to her house, but Fred points out that it's daytime. Oh, there are portions of the city that aren't necrotempered yet? Tsk. Angel tells Fred to take some security goons "in case she changes her mind."
Fred, Nina, and the goons ride in a van. Nina asks if the goons are for her. I could use some goons. Fred insists that Nina isn't a prisoner, but that it's important that she stay at Wolfram & Hart that night. Nina tells us about her art classes so that we care about her as a person. It doesn't work. Then she and Fred discuss Angel's helpless-helping hobby, and Nina asks if Fred is dating Angel. Fred says, "Oh, God, no. He was seeing someone, sort of, but she.... Angel doesn't date much. At all. 'Cause of his circumstances." She gives up and says that it's complicated. Nina wonders if he's lonely, and Fred says, "We try to be there for each other." I add, "Sexually," because I'm so bored. Nina says, "Like a family." Fred replies, "Yeah. A demon-hunting, helpless-helping, dysfunctional family." "You mean, 'incestuous family,'" I say.
Back at the office, Gunn is telling Angel about the arrangements they've made to deal with McManus's body. I have been on the edge of my seat for twenty minutes wondering about that little loose end, too. Angel's paying about as much attention to Gunn as I am. Angel is worried about Nina, and I'm worried about my sanity. Gunn tries reassuring Angel that he's doing everything he can, but Angel grumbles, "Don't need a pep talk right now. Just do your job." Gunn harrumphs off. Johanna asks if Angel just kicked Gunn out of Gunn's own office. I don't think Angel kicked him out, exactly. He just passive-aggressively annoyed him out. Johanna also points out that the chair Angel's sitting in is enormous. It's this huge, brown, ugly, square thing, and David Boreanaz is a big guy, but he looks like Edith Ann sitting in it. Cary wanders in and declares, "Got to tell you, Angelkins, that extra weight is not looking so good on you." Angel unhappily looks down at himself. Cary clarifies, "I'm talking about psychic pounds, pumpkin." Angel says he's not going to sing. Cary quickly says, "Couldn't bear it if you did. No, it's talking you need, or maybe a shoulder to --" Angel says he's not going to cry. Cary says, "I was going to a leaning place." Then he, too, visits the world of looping, and tries to perk Angel up. Are they actually doing more looping than usual this season, or is it just of a lower quality now for some reason? Or am I just noticing it more because I'm so very bored? Cary says that Angel's grumpy because of Spicule, and tjat he's taking it out on the MoG. It's like he's talking to me. Except that I'm grumpy about a lot of other things. And so is Angel, actually. Angel says that he doesn't like Spicule, but Cary extends a metaphor to Kansas as he says, "You're fighting so many enemies around you, Angel, your punches are getting sloppy, and we've got the bruises to prove it." Is Cary giving this little speech to the others as well? Because they're all a little huffy with each other, and that's not unusual, or at least it wasn't on the old show, but this is the new one, and I guess "complex interpersonal dynamics" are another thing that was jettisoned in favor of "shiny, shiny cars."
Fred and Nina arrive at Nina's house. Nina suddenly says she changed her mind and doesn't want to go inside. Fred says that running away won't help. As they enter, Nina asks, "What about fleeing? Can I flee?" Fred looks around the house and wonders if the others are gone. But they aren't: Nina's sister marches out, demanding to know where Nina's been, and who Fred is. Nina says, "Jill, I'm sorry," and hooray, the sister finally got a name. Nina tries to apologize, and claims, "I thought Amanda heard me say I was leaving." Jill's having none of that, and accuses Nina of putting the blame on a nine-year-old. Fred quickly tries to make up a cover story: "I called Nina, like, totally suicidal, 'cause this guy in our Ceramics class dumped me, and then my car got towed, and she wanted to call, but my cell-phone battery --" Jill doesn't care, and continues yelling at Nina. "You sleep all day. You've got bruises you don't remember getting. Just tell me, what's going on?" Nina says that Jill can't count on her, and that Jill should find another babysitter, and then grabs her purse and walks out. Fred starts to follow, and then bizarrely turns back and grabs a family photo and a stuffed dog from a table. She does realize that the dog is probably Amanda's, right? And why doesn't Jill object?
Fred and Nina walk back toward the van. Fred tries to turn that frown upside-down by saying that Jill was only angry because she cares. They stop suddenly and Fred says, "That's weird," as they stare at the van. I stared at this shot for several minutes, and rewound and looked at the shot of them exiting the van. Nothing looked weird. I think we were meant to see that the van's rear door is slightly open. Which isn't all that weird, since they were expecting people to come back. Plus, it's a black van with a black interior, which makes it virtually impossible even to see that the door is open. Whatever. Fred pulls the door open, revealing that the goons are either dead or unconscious. Fred quickly pulls a tranq gun out of her purse. She pauses for a beat and then says, "Run!" She and Nina run down the street, and then a bunch of ninja hop out of another van and attack the girls. Fred shoots a couple with the tranqs before one of them bonks her on the head with a club or something. Fred collapses, and Nina is packed into the van. One of the ninja stands over the unconscious Fred in broad daylight on a suburban lawn, pulls out his phone, and says, "We got the package." Stealthy. Dude, why not wait till you're in the van and driving away to announce that you were successful?
Elsewhere, a guy who looks a tiny bit like Richard Schiff says, "Bring it around back. I just had the floors done." It's a good line, but what are his floors made of if they're liable to be damaged by having a person moved across them? Because I thought most flooring material was made to stand up to that kind of use.
Nina is dragged across a cement floor on her knees. Maybe her knees were going to scrape up the new floor? Oh! Maybe it's a newly-poured cement floor, so it's still wet. In that case, it all makes sense. The ninja put her wrists in manacles hanging from the ceiling while she wails and cries. They exit, and a woman marches in. The new woman nods to another ninja, who, I kid you not, opens a fire hose and proceeds to douse Nina with water. Then the woman walks over and cuts off Nina's shirt with scissors. Then, I'm still not kidding, she starts to scrub Nina down. The Not-Richard-Schiff watches from the doorway. This is astonishingly sleazy. Oh, I'm sorry, it's adding a lot of depth to the story because now we're thinking about the humiliation of being stripped and chained and doesn't it make you feel for your own inner werewolf? Or does it just make you wonder why they didn't take her pants off? It seems like, if the nudity was actually significant in any way, she'd actually be nude and not just topless. In conclusion: ew.
At Wolfram & Hart, Royce is singing "Jessie's Girl" for Cary. Cary gives Angel a thumbs-up, and Angel steps from the conference room into his office. There, Wesley expositions that Cary has read the security team, the lab staff, and half of Wesley's department. Angel figures that someone at Wolfram & Hart was working with the ninja who kidnapped Nina. Fred says the ninja were highly organized: "Almost military." Wesley in-jokes, "An underground monster-hunting military organization. It's happened before." Fred blames herself for opening the van door. Because if she hadn't done that, they would have escaped? Eh? Gunn says he hears enough second-guessing from Spicule, which causes Fred to wonder where Spicule is. Well, it's nearly five o'clock, so per his schedule, he's probably harassing the group in Mergers and Acquisitions. Fred's fretting is interrupted when Royce enters with a list of wolf-napping suspects: "There's the sacrificers, wackos who want to rid the world of abominations, and werewolf packs looking for new recruits. Then there's the paranormal sporting groups." Fred spots a semi-transparent Spicule walking through the lobby, and excuses herself to follow him.
Spicule walks around a corner while Fred calls after him to stop. He turns and marches through a wall. Fred opens the door to the wall he passed through, and enters. Spicule walks through the office, through a desk, and through another wall. Fred, still calling to him, follows him all the way to the wall like she thought maybe she could go through it, too. Instead, she knocks over a trash can. As she starts cleaning up the mess she made, she tells herself that it was as if Spicule couldn't hear her. Oh my freaking God, I know! I saw the whole thing! And it just happened. If you honestly think the audience is so stupid that we can't remember something five seconds after it happened, why are you even trying to tell a story here? Why not just flash pretty pictures at us until the nurse comes in to wipe the drool from our chins? Jesus. As Fred picks up the trash, she sees a small glass vial. Then Royce enters, asking, "Were you looking for me?" Fred apologizes, and explains that she was following Spicule. She edges behind Royce as she blathers on, and suddenly conks him over the head with a lamp.
And suddenly Gunn and Wesley are also in Royce's office, and several hours have passed because it's dark outside. Wesley is holding the vial up and examining it prior to declaring, "You're right. It's Calendula." He's acting like he can tell that just from the traces still in the vial. I suspect he was just reading the label. Which is also how Fred knew what it was. Fred expositions that Royce used Calendula to "block" Cary's reading. She says, "It's like taking a valium to pass a polygraph test. I knew as soon as I saw the vial in the trash can." See, the label says "Calendula." Which blocks Cary's aura-reading abilities. Gunn is going through Royce's desk as they jabber, and asks Fred why she was looking through Royce's trash. Fred thoughtfully says that Spicule led her into the office. Gunn finds a false bottom in a drawer, and opens it to reveal some Polaroid photos, papers, a calculator, and a knife. I assume it's an evil calculator.
In the conference room, Angel shoves Royce around and demands to know where Nina is. Royce gibbers, "If I tell you -- this man, he's not like you. You're a good guy, but he's...well, no offense, but he's scarier than you!" Angel vamps out and asks, "Wanna bet?"
Fred looks at the Polaroids, "ew"s, and suggests burning them. We never do find out what's on them, but I guess the idea is that Royce was being blackmailed. Or else I really have no idea why this scene was here. Wesley eyes the knife. Gunn has had the insight to look at the papers, and shows one to the others while saying, "You're not gonna believe this."
Fred, Wesley, and Gunn hurry toward Angel's office. Angel steps out and says he knows where Nina is. Fred shows him the paper and says, "It's what they plan to do to her." Angel looks at it and says, "It's a menu." Oh my gosh, they're...going to buy her dinner? Well, I guess it could be an evil dinner.
Cut to Nina, gagged and draped in a sheet, lying on a gurney. Surrounded with garnishes. Heh. She's wheeled out into a room full of applauding diners. That gag doesn't look very secure -- she could spit that right out if she tried. She gets some kale in her hair as she looks around and moans. Tee hee. She's also held to the table with steel cuffs, by the way. Not-Richard-Schiff thanks his guests for coming, and says that moonrise is in fifteen minutes. "Shortly thereafter...dinner will be served. But first, enjoy these important commercial messages."
When we return, Not-Richard-Schiff is pontificating about the last time he dined on werewolf, and how "the cocinera used an understated mole sauce to bring out the meat's tanginess. I've never forgotten that exquisite burst of taste." He adds that Nina will be served "with a light drizzle of white truffle oil." Yum? Is it a restaurant, or is he just a show-off? And I see the trend of not introducing the villain until late in the episode is continuing. Interesting.
There's a knock at the door, and a goon peeps through a little window and sees Royce. When he opens the door, he's promptly punched by Gunn, who enters with Angel, Wesley, and Royce. Why isn't Fred there? Oh, that's right; she's a girl. Gunn says, "I'm all up in the law now, but damn it feels good to get my violence on." Aw. So it is a restaurant, then, and Angel doesn't need an invitation? I guess the menu could have also been an invitation, actually, since it opened up like a formal dinner party invitation. I have to fixate on these little details to remain conscious. Royce says that "Crane's not gonna like this," helpfully providing Not-Richard-Schiff with a name. Gunn tells Royce that he'd better hope that Nina's alive. Wesley says, "She has to be -- at least through dinner. Once a werewolf dies, it reverts to its human state." Gunn confirms that they're planning to eat her alive. How does that even work? I mean, once you cut a hunk off, wouldn't it stop being were-flesh? And does this mean they're eating her raw? And is there something wrong with me if I think that's the ookiest part? Crane suddenly pops up and observes that Royce brought guests. He's sort of suave. I like him. Also, behind him the chef is standing over Nina and sharpening a knife. Hee. See, I think this would have been a lot better if they'd gone completely silly with it instead of trying to tug on our heartstrings. Angel quips, and Gunn cocks a shotgun. I just thought of something. Maybe Angel's quips are coded signals to the rest of the MoG. Like, if it's a pun, that means "break left," and threats mean "rescue the helpless victim" and stuff like that. Wesley has a pistol to Royce's back, and then Angel slams a dish into the chef's face. Wow, that wasn't much of a fight at all. Angel pulls the gag out of Nina's mouth and moans, "Jeez, they garnished you?" while sweeping the kale away from her head. Heh. Nina immediately says, "Get away! Just let them choke on me!" Angel grabs a heavy candlestick and uses it to smash open one of the cuffs. Stainless steel ain't what it used to be. He tells Nina that she'll be home tomorrow. Nina sobs that she can't go back home, and that this is better. Angel grunts, "Nothing better about ending up in a doggy bag."
Gunn takes an improbable break from aiming his shotgun to look at the menu and ask, "What, no leprechaun soufflé?" Crane snides, "There's no such thing as leprechaun." Continuity porn. Bow-chicka-bow-bow! Angel smashes another cuff, and suddenly more goons march in with guns. One of them shoves a pistol at Wesley's neck. Oh, necks again. Naturally, that's the one element of the show they don't change. Wesley observes, "We've hit a snag." Angel says they aren't leaving without Nina. Crane says, "I'm willing to let my men die. Can you say the same?" Should he say that in front of the men he's willing to let die? It seems like that would lower morale. Gunn keeps on aiming at Crane and announces, "I go, you're going with me." I sincerely doubt that, if his brains are blown out, Gunn will still be able to aim and fire at Crane. So it's no surprise that Crane isn't intimidated. Angel tells Crane, "Probably should've told me to drop this," and tosses the candlestick into the air. The goon facing him looks up at the candlestick, and Angel punches him. The rest of the MoG think for a second: "Not a pun, not a threat -- that means melee, hooray!" and cue the fighting. One goon shoots Angel, who falls back, and then Wesley gets a reaction shot for no readily apparent reason before Nina sits up, all wolfy. Nina chomps into a diner's throat, and Gunn knocks out a goon. Nina rushes Gunn, knocking him down, and then Wesley fires a tranq into her while keeping another gun pointed at Crane. In his other hand, I mean. Nina collapses, and Angel says that they're going to take her and leave. Crane still isn't convinced, and you have to admire his persistence. He says, "Tonight may not be salvageable, but my guests have paid a high price." He looks at the man Nina killed and adds, "Some higher than others. And I promised them a werewolf." Why does he think Angel would care? "Oh, sorry, I didn't realize that. You're going to have to refund their money? Well in that case, go on and eat the girl. Sorry!" But of course it's just setting up the ironic twist: Nina suddenly sits up and bites Royce's leg. He screams, and Wesley shoots another tranq into Nina. Angel tells Crane, "And a month from now, you'll have one." Crane seems okay with that. Royce starts whining and begging as goons drag him off. Crane was played by Braeden Marcott, and I'm mentioning that because I liked him. I think I'd rather be watching a show all about Crane's restauranting adventures right now, actually. That could be good. For half of each episode, he has to hunt a monster, and then there's a little ten-minute cooking show, and then the last act is a fun dinner party with wacky characters. I'd watch.
Fred enters her dark office. I guess she's thinking that since she doesn't get to join in the big fight, she might as well surf the net. She turns on the light and sees a transparent Spicule facing the corner. Why does he keep doing that? Johanna thinks it's to freak her out. I think he can see through the wall into another dimension, because that's why cats are always doing that. Considering he's transparent, his shadow looks solid enough. Fred says she's been looking for him. This time, Spicule hears her, and is all sad and gaspy. He says, "I didn't think I was coming back." Fred says that he led her to Royce's office, and, off Spicule's confused look, adds, "Which was completely not on purpose, was it?" Spicule whines a bit. Fred repeats that they should tell Angel what's going on. Because he'll care? I know all about it, and it hasn't made me care. Fred thinks Angel could talk to the Senior Partners. And urge them to hurry up Spicule's trip to hell. Spicule quaveringly vetoes that. Fred insists that, even though she has no ideas, and Spicule is nixing all of her suggestions, she will definitely find some way to help him. Spicule quickly solidifies and more merrily says, "Well, all right, then. No need to get dramatic." The hell?
Night-to-day cityscape. Angel drives Nina back to her house in a really moronic-looking sports car. Nina looks through the (necrofuckingtempered) window and sees Amanda drawing with chalk on the sidewalk as Jill watches. Blee blah, and Nina asks how Angel lives with knowing that he's killed people. How does she know he's killed people? Or maybe by "you" she meant "one." Angel reminds her that the diners planned to eat her. He sorta reassures her, "At some point you'll be at the grocery store, or with Amanda, and the whole werewolf thing, it'll just be a part of who you are." Um, thanks? Nina asks if he's going to claim that he likes being a vampire. Angel says, "Being nearly indestructible is cool. Especially now that I've got all these necrotempered windows, so I don't have to fear sunlight. Plus, I've got the lab working on gypsotempered condoms, and once those are beta-tested, I am golden, baby!" He looks really odd here. I think it's the daylight. I mean, I think they aren't used to doing makeup for "natural light" because Cary looked odd way back when he got to be on-screen, too. Nina asks Angel if he ever thinks about "letting go, disappearing." They better not be suggesting what I think they're suggesting here, because I already used up my Tinkerbell jokes. Angel moralizes, "If you separate yourself from the ones you love, the monster wins." Nina says she'll see him month, and gets out of the car.
As Nina walks over, Jill and Amanda look up at her. Jill rushes up and says, "Why were you getting out of that beautiful car? That's the sort of car that would make me want to watch a television show. Oh no -- I knew it, you're one of those expensive call girls I hear about on Lifetime!" Except she doesn't do that because the miracle of heartwarming pop music on the soundtrack dispels all family tensions. I swear to you, they cue up Ryan Adams, and everything is fine. Jill eyes Nina ruefully and gives her a great big ol' hug. Angel watches as Nina presses Amanda straight into her breasts. Yikes. Angel drives away.
It's night again as the MoG join Angel in his penthouse apartment. They stare out the window like they've never been in a tall building before. Fred asks, "Is that the hotel?" and it takes me a second to realize that she's asking about the Hyperion. Oh, now I'm depressed. Wesley says, "No, I think that's the Center for Scientology." Which is funny, except the hotel didn't look like -- "They look nothing alike at all," Fred says. Okay, that was scary. Gunn says he thought they'd never see Angel's swinging bachelor pad. Angel apologizes for not inviting them up sooner. Were they always hanging out in Angel's room at the Hyperion? It just seems odd that they'd even care. Wait, I made a note over here that I look at when I get confused. It says, "It's a different show with the same actors." Oh yeah, now I remember. Cary spots a bar in one corner, steps over to it, and says, "Look at this. I'm home!" Heh. He offers cosmopolitans to everyone, and they go on admiring the place until Gunn asks about "Crane's Bistro of the Bizarre." Angel says that they're out of business. Oh. So then, what happened to Royce? Is this still the same day, or is it six months later? Angel has more of those gigantic blocky chairs. The entire building was furnished by Rent-A-Center. You'd think that Cary would take one look around this place, squeal in horror, and say, "Oh Angelbuns, no wonder you've been so crabby if you're waking up in this every day. This is an unusual level of self-torture, even for you." It's just so sterile. Stanley Kubrick would find it alienating. Fred bops over with a menu and asks who wants Chinese food. Cary tells her to order "the usual." There's a lot of patter and stuff that seems intended to make us think, "Aw, look, they're all a bunch of friends." But since they haven't ever all been a bunch of friends at the same time like this, it's just bizarre and alienating and extremely forced. Like, for instance, Gunn asks Angel, "Werewolf girl. Think you got a shot?" Because he thinks it would be nice if Angel had a girlfriend, and not, say, extraordinarily dangerous. Angel says, "She gave me a look," because he's a swinging single guy with a horribly depressing apartment, and Wesley acts intrigued, but not at all worried, and Ryan Adams strums his guitar, and Fred orders food, and everybody's smiling and peaceful, and I wonder if they've all been replaced by robots just like...well, other people.
Oh, and Fred's order consists of "one moo shu chicken, two beef and broccoli, one cashew shrimp, maybe some lettuce wrap..." Why would you order two of the same dish? Order different stuff and share! See, clearly this is all a put-on because they think Angel's apartment is bugged, right? Phew, then it all makes sense after all.
time, Fred gets a shower scene, and Spicule gets nekkid. Joy. I was on the phone with Johanna during the ad, and it's important at this time to know that she's really easy to spook. I'm not allowed to explain why, exactly, because we've reached some kind of mutually assured destruction level of embarrassing stories about each other. So anyway, the promo went like this:
[Announcer talking about Spicule]
[Spooky singing in ad]
[Creepy dark shots of Spicule wandering the building]
Johanna: Oh no! That's horrible!
Strega: I know! It really is!
[Shot of nekkid Spicule, and also spooky things]
Johanna: Why are they doing that?
Strega: Because they are evil.
Johanna: It's awful! I can't watch that!
Strega: Believe me, I know how you feel!
Johanna: No, I really mean it. And why did you have to mention The Blair Witch Project last week? Do you hate me?
Strega: ...Wait, so you aren't just talking about Spicule?
Took us a few minutes to sort it all out. So yeah, week Johanna will probably be traumatized, and I might be, too, but for different reasons.