Long Day's Journey

The very largest of props to Ace, for filling in on recaplet duty, and also to Johanna, who saved the day when a stupid basketball game pre-empted the local broadcast of Angel.

Previously on Angel, Gwen was pretty, a big rock candy Satan popped up, Cordy tried to give Connor something real, Wesley dumped Lilah, the Little Girl Who Lived Up The Elevator Shaft was enigmatic, and I wondered if anyone got that reference. Anyone? Jodie Foster? Martin Sheen? Hello? Oh yeah, and Angel was pissy. He'll be spending most of this episode that way, though, so if you missed it, you can catch up now.

Angel's up in his room, sketching a picture of Satan. I wonder if he's going to make "Wanted" posters and show them to witnesses. "No, I don't remember seeing any suspicious cloven-hoofed horned monsters." "He looked like this..." "Oh, now I remember him! Yeah, he asked if I could break a twenty." Cary enters, bearing a piping-hot glass of blood for Angel. Cary eyes the picture and says, "Good likeness. You wouldn't mind if I ran screaming from the room, would you?" Angel replies, "Shut the door on your way out." Cary does an Angel imitation, growling, "Don't interrupt me, I'm brooding!" Angel says he isn't. He is wearing a long-sleeved gray t-shirt, though. It's so weird when he doesn't wear a button-down shirt. They bicker a little, and Cary uses the C-word. Sigh. Angel says that he can't defeat Satan, plus "it's killed hundreds of people that [he] couldn't save, and it keeps showing up around [his] kid." Cary notes that Connor is "not entirely unmaking with the moves on the girl who might have been." I wonder if it's harder to write that way or to say lines like that. Angel stands up and threateningly says, "You want to shove that into English for me?" Cary says he knows about Connor and Cordelia, although it's unclear whether he knows exactly what happened between them. For his own sake, I hope he doesn't. Angel tells Cary to leave. On his way out, Cary says, "You may not find perfect happiness with Cordelia, but Angel-food, you gotta remember -- there's other fish in the sea." Does he want Angel to be perfectly happy? I'm gonna choose to believe that Cary's just being his lawfully neutral self, and doesn't really care if Angel's evil or good as long as he's happy. Which is kind of sweet, I guess.

Cut to...an oil field? How odd. Gwen -- her hair back into a look I'd describe as "a mess" -- meets with her client, Mr. Ashet. He's wearing a dashiki and sunglasses, even though it's night. I thought Cordy was the one with visions in her head. Apparently, he's asked Gwen to do steal some protective amulets for him, which is she is respectfully declining to do. Mr. Ashet removes his sunglasses so she can admire his spiffy yellow eyes. Gwen says that she is "very respectfully going on vacation. To Tahiti." Mr. Ashet asks if she knows who he is, or about "the dire portents of recent events." "I know enough to go to Tahiti," Gwen nervously replies. Mr. Ashet seems to like that, and says "perhaps then [he] won't kill [her] for her -- aargh!" Because that's when Satan plunges a hand through Mr. Ashet's torso. He uses his other hand to knock Gwen across the field. Lucky for her there aren't any walls nearby. From a distance, Gwen sees Mr. Ashet collapse as light streams out of the hole in his chest. Satan leans over the body and pulls a wing-shaped dingus out of it. Gwen stands up and strips off a glove, readying her electro-powers. But Satan's gone.

Credits. And the introduction of a new feature in these recaps, called "crazy David Boreanaz quotes." There's a lot to choose from. But to start things out on a philosophical note, I'm going to go with: "I think people are interesting for who they are, not what they represent, because that transcends itself." Indeed it does, David. Indeed it does.

Loft of Lubricity. Connor sits at the window listening to sirens in the distance as Cordelia awakes from the bed she's made on the floor. Someone named "Michael Chinyamurindi" is in this episode. Or was, if he played Mr. Ashet. That is one hell of a name. I salute you, sir. Cordy notes that the sirens are becoming more frequent. It's Los Angeles. So does she mean they're constant now? She adds that she dreamt she heard screams last night, and Connor reassures her that she wasn't dreaming. Cordy tells him for the five thousandth time that it's not his fault. Her hair is mostly back to brunette now, which is nice. And I like her haircut. I like the long hair more, but this is fine, too. And she's wearing a really odd shirt with a lot of strange cut-outs or loops or something. So I think that's another sign that she's gradually getting back to normal. Connor wants to go to the Hyperion and check in. Cordy nonchalantly suggests that they just stay where they are, and then whines that she'd have taken the bed if she'd known Connor wasn't going to sleep in it. How does she know that he didn't just get up before she did? Well, it's just set up for Connor to say, "I didn't want to sleep there without you." Cordy mutters, "Oh boy," as she gets up. Connor reminds her that he has super-hearing. She ignores him and says she's going to wash up, so I guess they have established some kind of bathroom in the building. Connor pops over to hand her a towel, and reminds her that he has super-speed as well. Then he asks if she's been refusing to take him to the Hyperion because the MoG think he's connected to Satan. Why does Connor need Cordy to take him there? Can't he go on his own? Cordy finally admits, "Angel knows [that] we slept together." Connor sits down and starts super-sulking as Cordy elaborates, "With his super-smelling and super-Tom-peeping and I don't even know what else." Connor says that they didn't do anything wrong, but Cordy says, "We hurt him. That's enough." And then there's a sudden flash and Cordy sees Satan on a barren set, saying something inaudible. Connor asks what she saw, and Cordy just stammers, "Nothing. I -- I have to see Angel." She starts to put shoes on as Connor whines, "How do you know I'll be here when you get back? Aren't you afraid I'm gonna run off and join the demon?" That's different from threatening to join the circus, at least. Connor says that she trusts Connor as she hurries out.

Whip-cut to Gunn at the Hyperion, saying, "I don't trust him." Gunn and Fred are arguing about whether or not Connor is connected to Satan. I think "connected to Satan" and "thrown into a wall" are my macros for the season. Fred isn't sure they should believe what the spooky little girl said about the answer being among them. She says, "That little girl was evil -- I felt it." Fred can sense evil now. You know what she can't do? Yeah. Gunn points out that Connor has encountered Satan twice without getting killed, which he seems to think is suspicious. From the office doorway, Wesley points out that the same is true of most of them. Gunn replies that Satan didn't first appear in their birthplace. Wesley says that according to his "sources" (whatever), "without the little girl, the earthly contingent of Wolfram & Hart is cut off from the Senior Partners." Really? Well, how lame are the Senior Partners, then? He hands Fred a book and expositions that little girl was actually named Mesektet, and is one of five beings "linked to an embodiment of the ancient sun god, Ra." Ra! Sorry. It's a board game. You get to say "Ra!" a lot. It's fun. Fred hands the book over to Gunn as she invades Wesley's personal space to go on blathering about Ra for a while. Gunn slaps the book into Wesley's chest and none-too-subtly puts his arms around Fred. Gunn, why do you even want her? I mean, really. We could be so much happier together. Wesley goes on about blah blah, shrouded in mystery, blah blah, totems with a mysterious purpose, blah blah researchcakes. Fred scampers behind the front desk to look things up and asks Gunn to go upstairs and tell Angel the news. Gunn isn't keen on interrupting Angel, and says, "Don't know why we're bothering with the rah-rah's anyway. 'The answer is among you.'" (Ra!)

Cary enters and announces that Satan's killed someone else. The victim was a "high and mighty white-magic shaman type," and Satan ripped her heart out. Wesley says, "The MO doesn't match," and reminds the troops that Mesektet had black ink sucked out of her. The what doesn't what? Dear Wesley: So far Satan has set his victims on fire, thrown them into walls, gored them, and removed their heads. He's not a serial killer who has to use the same method every time. Plus, apart from Mesektet and maybe Judd Winick, most people aren't full of the black ink of evil, so I'm not sure how often you expect Satan to use that particular method. Signed, People With Brains. P.S. Shut up. Fred asks if the woman's name was Ma'at. Cary says it sure wa'as, and Fred says that Ma'at is another of Ra's totems. (Ra!) Gunn says that Satan is killing the totems, but Wesley says they can't assume it's significant that Satan happens to have specifically sought out and killed two members of a mystical group of beings in rather unusual ways when thousands of other people have been collateral damage. Because she's an idiot, Fred agrees, "Two points --" "Make a line, not a pattern," Wesley finishes. Gunn glares at them for finishing each other's sentences. I glare at them for being so stupid and failing to shut up.

Then Cordy enters and says, "Hi guys." Gunn greets her, and then Cordy looks at Wesley and jumpily says, "I gotta go see Angel," before quickly heading upstairs. It's unclear if her odd stiffness is due to seeing Wesley, or if it just seemed that way from the way the camera panned across them. Although if she is avoiding Wesley, I can certainly understand why. Gunn says, "I told you Connor can't be trusted -- look how weird he's made her!"

Angel's room is littered with books and sketches of Satan. Cordy knocks on the door and calls, "I know I don't have to be invited in, but it is polite." Angel snaps, "Go away, Cordelia." Instead, she enters. Did they redecorate his room over the summer? It used to be more blue-gray, now it's purple. With recessed lighting. For some reason, I suspect Cary was responsible for this. Cordy sits down while Angel fidgets and avoids looking at her. She finally says, "I don't know where to start." Angel snaps, "Then skip to the end where you leave and we don't talk about it." He moves over to a table as Cordy asks if he wants to know how Connor is. Angel grumbles that he doesn't want to hear a progress report. Now he's wearing a black hooded sweatshirt over his gray t-shirt. I don't know if that's more weird or less weird. Maybe Cordy him some new clothes to him to apologize, because it worked so well on her. That'd be funny. Cordy says that Connor's afraid Angel thinks Connor is connected to Satan. Got that? Angel notes, "It does tend to show up whenever he's around." Cordy gripes, "Like father, like son. The two of you have cornered the market on teenage snits." Hee. She asks Angel to stop being angry at her. Angel slams the table and shouts, "How about you stop pretending to give a damn about my feelings?" That made me clap. Not that it was that amazing, but it's so exciting when Angel shows some emotion! Sadly, Cordy can't really hold up her end of the scene, because she's saddled with lines like, "I do give a damn. In fact, I give a whole lot of damn." Ow. That's just awful. Poor Charisma Carpenter. She tells Angel, "Get over it." She starts describe her vision, but Angel isn't ready to give up on emoting quite yet. He paces back and forth as he rants, "'Get over it'? Why didn't I think about that, hm? It's so simple!" Cordy reaches her hand out toward him, and he grabs her wrist with an audible thwack. And glares! I really like him when he's angry like this. And not quipping. It's refreshing. Less refreshing is Cordy's speech about how Angel has to get past it because they need him to save the world and whatever. He finally lets her talk about the vision she had, except it turns out that she can't say much about it. She was listening to Satan, but she doesn't know if it was the past or the future, or what Satan said, or whom he was talking to. Very helpful. Thanks, Cordy, I can see why you rushed over with that bulletin. Which is basically what Angel says. Cordy points out that at least they know that The Powers That Be are still communicating with her. She finishes by telling Angel, "You're the leader. So lead."

Snare drums trill on the soundtrack as Angel tries to rally the troops. He says that they've gotten a wake-up call from The Powers That Be. "Sure, we've been...I don't want to say 'demolished' -- beaten. And sure, it's slightly...demoralizing. " Hee. So far the gang doesn't look terribly inspired. He insists that they're going to find out Satan's weaknesses, and "fight smart." For a change. He didn't say that. But you all thought it. The MoG aren't completely inspired. Fred agrees with the idea, but points out that they haven't turned up anything in their research. Cary adds, "And weaknesses? It's not a sure bet [that] El Destructo has any!" Gunn says they need a lead. On cue, Gwen enters.

The camera pans lovingly up her body. I can't really blame it. She's added red and blonde streaks to her hair, and I'm not sure how I feel about them, but she's still pretty. She greets Gunn, and Fred sniffs, "That guy you killed. Yeah. That's him." Gwen smirks, "Kicked you in the face, too, didn't I, Cherry?" Hee. I love any reminder of that scene. Until Wesley gets his annual near-death-experience, it may be my favorite moment of the season. Angel starts to introduce Gwen to Cordy, but Cordy growls, "I know who she is. I caught your little show on the omniscient higher-plane channel, thanks." Gwen realizes that Cordy is the girl Angel was looking for, and says, "You must be so happy." Angel says, "I am," then trades looks with Cordy and adds, "Not having the best week." Gwen asks Angel, "freak to freak," if the world's ending. I'm still weirded out by Angel's hooded jacket. I can't explain why. He always dresses so formally, I guess. Anyway, Gwen describes the scene we saw in the teaser, and since I already recapped it, I don't want to recap a summary of it as well. When Gwen gets to the part where Satan appeared, Wesley looks up from his seat on the couch. I'm kind of amused that at no point does anyone introduce Gwen to Wesley. Nor does she seem curious about him. She describes Satan: "Demon, okay? The whole nine -- cloven feet, and horns, and teeth, and..." She spots Cary, who wanders out from behind the desk, and finishes, "He wasn't wearing lam, though." Cary grins, "The evil ones can't pull it off. It gets camp." Wesley asks if anything was removed from Mr. Ashet's body. Gwen says, "Didn't see." Liar, liar! She turns back to Angel and says, "You are, hands down, the weirdest person I know, especially in that outfit, so I figured I'd ask you what's going on." I made some of that up. Fred interrupts to ask if Mr. Ashet was "a skinless saber-toothed tiger, or composed entirely of light." Gwen says that light did come out of the body. Then everyone gets all excited about Ra. (Ra!) Wesley explains that three of the totems are dead now. Of the remaining two, Manjet was last spotted in Belize, and Semkhet lives in a cave in Death Valley. Angel says they should go protect the one that's conveniently nearby. Although there is some logic to the idea that sun gods would hang out in Southern California. Cordy says it could be dangerous, and Angel chirps, "I'll take Gwen." Gwen isn't thrilled at the nomination, but goes along with it. Cordy thinks everyone should go, but Angel cheerfully insists, "We can handle it. With superpowers. I'll catch her up on the drive." Cordy says it's a four-hour drive. As they head for the door, Angel whirls to pointedly say, "I'm sure we'll find something to talk about."

Death Valley blipvert. Angel and Gwen clamber down some fake rocks. Angel reaches the ground, and then Gwen slips and falls into his arms. "I did that on purpose!" she insists. Angel observes, "That's pretty pathetic." Heh. She asks, "If it's a lie or if it's the truth?" Before Angel can think that through, there's a noise, and they go to investigate.

Angel holds a sword at the ready as they poke around in a cave. Gwen asks if they're trying to protect Semkhet. Angel says, "We are. Unless it's evil. So if it is, we prevent the Beast from killing it by killing it ourselves." Okay, I guess. They're spared that problem, though, as they discover when they find a dismembered body in the cave. It doesn't look all that much like a skinless saber-toothed tiger. It looks more like half a guy in a cat-mask. Given that it's already sliced up and they don't have to make the body move, couldn't they have made it non-human? Just asking. Angel says, "The Beast is systematically executing these totems. Just don't know why." Someone says, "I do!" A middle-aged man in a Hawaiian shirt and Bermuda shorts peers around a corner and explains, "He's gonna turn out the sun!"

After some ads, Angel asks the guy what he's doing in the cave. The guy says, "Standing in the remains of my fallen brethren, trying not to have an anxiety attack." It's not really "brethren" if there's only one of them. Introductions are exchanged, and the guy says he's "Manjet, sacred guardian of the Shen, keeper of the Orb of Ma'at, and devotee of light. Off-hours I like 'Manny.'" Angel and Gwen are startled, to say the least, and Gwen asks why Manny isn't in Belize. Manny explains, "I heard Mesektet got whacked. Never liked that chick -- evil, right down to her Mary Janes. But family. What're you gonna do?" Angel is curious about this "turning out the sun" idea, and asks if it's a metaphor. Manny says, "I don't speak College-Boy; I said what I meant." Heh. He insists that the Beast is killing the totems in order to "blot out the sun." But he'll have to do a few other things as well: "There's props, and a ritual, and a chant, and a thing..." Manny says he wasn't ever worried about this happening before since the totems are pretty powerful, but now that he's the only one left alive, he's feeling mighty doomed. Gwen asks what happens when the sun goes dark. Manny sets the mood by describing how all the demons in Los Angeles will be able to rock and roll all night and party every day. He says, "It'll become a --" "Demon playground," Angel finishes, bringing to mind pictures of cute little demons on swings. Or is that just me? Manny goes on to say that the darkness will spread: "California. North America. Eventually, hello global blackout. The world is the devil's oyster." With that, Manny wishes them luck and starts to leave, explaining that he wants to spend his remaining hours "with [his] oldest, dearest friends down at the Pink Pony lounge." He offers to buy Gwen a lapdance. Angel insists that they can protect him. Manny says, "Superhunk and Spandexia? This thing takes out Mesektet, and you two are gonna protect me?" That's not really fair. Gwen isn't wearing spandex. Angel points out that Manny has a better chance with them than on his own, and Manny leans over to ask Angel if Gwen will give him a lapdance. Angel stares off in the distance wondering if that was supposed to be funny.

Blipvert back to the Hyperion, as Angel, Gwen, and Manny arrive. Angel asks if there have been any Satanic sightings, and Gunn says no: "We've just been wasting time, trying to find ways to kill him. Which, by the way, there aren't any [sic]." Manny is introduced to the rest of the MoG, and Cary asks what happened to Semkhet. Gwen says, "Somebody already ripped out the toy surprise." Manny sums up Satan's intentions: "To blot out the sun for all of eternity. You guys got a john?" He heads for the bathroom, pausing to grab a couple sections of the newspaper on this way. Cordy asks, "Why did the smelly, yucky man say that? He's joking, right?" Angel explains that Satan can do a ritual to "turn day into night" and drive up everyone's utility bills. Wesley says, "As far as evil plans go, it doesn't suck." That was odd. I guess Lilah's speech patterns rubbed off on him a little. Angel wants to protect Manny until they can find a way to defeat Satan. Gunn suggests keeping Manny in the kitchen's meat-locker, because it's a contained area. Wesley sniffs, "Brilliant. Let's store the one thing that'll stave off perpetual darkness in the home of the only people we're sure the demon knows." Wesley, if you want to make snide comments, you should find a more concise way of speaking. The insult doesn't work very well if people stop paying attention halfway through. Gunn, irritated, asks, "You got a better idea, Einstein?" See, that wasn't much of a comeback, but at least it was brief. Wesley doesn't, of course. But Gwen does. Cordy starts some pre-emptive whining about how it'll be a "nondescript tenement downtown with discarded boxes in the stairwells and peeling plaster and --"

Cut to a tenement building, where Manny, Gunn, Angel, Gwen, and Cordy are in a stairwell littered with discarded boxes, and so on. Cordy finishes her line, "-- the faint odor of dead people," leading me to wonder if she spent the whole trip listing unpleasant descriptions. That must have been tiresome. Angel snaps that Cordy didn't have to come, and Cordy whines that she might have a vision. Gunn is still having a private hissyfit about Fred and Wesley researching back at the hotel "with the symbolic manifestos and the 'Brilliant!'" Manny says that research won't help them: "Real juju takes place on the Q.T." Verily. What? Gunn asks why Manny isn't "all mighty and colossal" if he's such a powerful totem. Manny explains, "The midday totem is man, the neutral totem, the potential of every human soul." Mere Smith did research, y'know. The gang approaches a door as Manny adds that he is immortal, unless he's ritually murdered. As Gwen zaps the door lock, Cordy says that if he's going to be ritually murdered, it'll probably be "in a hellhole--"

"-- like this?" Cordy finishes, as they step into a lavishly decorated suite of rooms. Cordy is channeling the ironic segue fairy in this episode. Poor, poor Cordy. Gwen shows them in and explains that her butler is already in Tahiti (aw, no Clarice), so she's going to have to try to find the kitchen on her own. Because it's a big apartment, see. Angel sidles over to Cordy and quietly explains that the Axis of Pythia he used to locate Cordy was worth $33 million. He adds, "I gave it back to Gwen when I was done." Wow, lots of implied messages there, like "I did all this work to find you" and "That girl there is pretty and rich" and the "I gave her a very nice present." He's really doing everything he can to vex Cordelia. Good job, Angel.

After the ads, Gwen is fretting about the amount of blood and guts in the panic room, saying it couldn't have all come out of Manny. Angel enters the library and says that Satan was looking for something. Gunn asks what makes Angel so sure. Angel holds up Manny's hat, the crown of which is ripped out, and explains, "Because it emptied out his head to find it." Gwen remembers that Manny described himself as an "orb-keeper," so it seems logical to suppose that he...well, kept an orb. "In his head?" Cordy sniffs. "Where do you keep yours?" Gwen asks. Heh. Again, not the cleverest comeback, really, but nice delivery on that one. Angel turns and agrees with Gwen, then asks why she said that someone had removed "the toy surprise" from Semkhet. Gwen "oops"es. Angel advances on her, as he says that Satan is removing something from the totems, and Gwen knew about it. Gwen admits that Satan pulled "a little metal boxy thing" out of Mr. Ashet. As the others look at her suspiciously, she explains that she thought the box might be valuable, and she's a thief, so she kept it to herself. I don't think her explanation makes a lot of sense, assuming it's supposed to, but on the other hand, the situations on this show are so insane that it's hard to decide what constitutes rational behavior. You can't get very far in a sentence that starts, "If I were a sexy yet troubled cat burglar with electro-powers and I was trying to help a vampire prevent Satan from turning the sun out..." before giving up. Cordy moves on, sort of, by noting that there's no way Satan found them, "spiked the drinks we made ourselves, snuck through this unreasonably large apartment on the tippy-toes of his cloven feet, found the panic room, and killed poor Manny unseen and unheard." Gunn goes back to his "answer is among you" suspicions of Connor. Angel asks if Cordy told Connor where they were. Cordy snaps, "He doesn't have a phone." Gunn says Connor could have tracked them. Angel says he'd have smelled Connor. "Same way you smelled whatever it was spiking your blood?" Gunn asks. Gwen remembers that there are security cameras throughout the apartment. She heads out of the room. Angel asks Gunn to call the Hyperion and let Fred and Wesley know about the new developments. Gunn asks, "About Connor..." Angel says they'll check it out "like we do every other lead."

Gwen fiddles with switches in the control room. The cameras didn't record anything, and she checks the logs to find out why. Cordy pulls Angel aside to say, "You have to talk to him." Angel says, "Gunn? I just did." Cordy gripes, "Connor, you dolt, and you know who I meant, so why push my buttons?" Angel sort of seductively sneers, "Maybe because it's nice to make you crazy for a change." I don't think that was supposed to sound seductive. But it did. Maybe it was because he was whispering. Gwen announces that the power was cut about ten minutes before Angel and Cordy started their shift. She makes it sound like all the power to the entire block was cut, which makes me wonder why her control room has power. And why the lights are on. Whatever. Gwen says it was an inside job. Cordy says, "Funny how you were inside at the time." Angel puts a stop to the impending catfight by quietly saying, "Let's just focus on the guy trying to blot out the sun, and we'll point fingers later." Hee. I hope that was meant to be funny.

Sewer-vert. Everyone reunites at the Hyperion. Cary updates Angel about their research: "Looks like there's some assembly required." Wow. If you don't let Cary say the episode title, he starts working in titles from completely different shows. Sneaky. Cary shows them an illustration of the gadget Satan is building: a little orb with a winged base. He says, "Turns out these three pieces were inside the totems." Angel asks what Satan took from the other two totems, and Cary says that Satan "sucked the energy out of the little girl, and he ripped the heart out of the shaman, but what's not clear is how he's gonna use 'em." Gwen says that if the base of the gadget is metal, she can melt it. Cordy brings everyone down by pointing out that they don't know where Satan will perform the ritual. Gunn adds to the gloom by saying that they still don't have a way to defeat Satan. As if that's not bad enough, Wesley won't shut up. He says that he and Fred have an idea: send Satan into a portal. Gunn amps up his sulking, but Angel approves of the plan.

Fred goes over to talk to Gunn, who's grabbing weapons. Gunn thought they should have learned their lesson about portals already. Fred insists that she and Wesley think it'll work. Gunn says, "I know, but I don't gotta like it." I have to say, if Gunn really objects to using a portal because it's got unpleasant personal associations for him, he's nuts. He got electrocuted, as they keep reminding us, but he's not refusing to go near lamps ever again. Gunn rejoins the others as they suit up to go find Satan. Then Cordy turns around and gasps in horror upon realizing how annoying she's become. Oh wait, no; she's having a vision. Dead bodies in period clothes. Satan stands over them. The end. She tells Angel that she saw more of her earlier vision, and describes it, but with a lot more redundancy than I used. Angel asks if she could hear what Satan was saying. Cordy says, "No, but whoever he was talking to -- they felt familiar. Like someone I know." Angel sighs, "Connor." Cordy says it's time to talk to the kid, adding, "If nothing else, he's our best chance at finding the Beast." Gunn makes up for his portal snit by refraining from jumping up and down yelling, "What have I been saying all this time?"

Loft of Lusus Laturae. Connor is reading a book when there's a knock on the door. He walks over and opens it to discover that he's getting a personal visit from Satan. Jack Chick was right about premarital sex all along! Satan says, "Hello, Connah," which isn't really worth recapping but he's got a neat voice. Connor says, "No, my name ends in an 'R' -- Connah lives down the hall.' Satan apologizes and leaves.

Okay, maybe not. There are some commercials, and when we return, Connor uses his superpowers to slow time down a little so we can fully appreciate his gymnastics. He spins and runs, Satan enters the loft, and Connor does that Fred Astaire running-up-the-wall trick, except Astaire didn't usually end it by whirling in midair and kicking Ginger Rogers in the face. Or so I hope. To nobody's surprise, Satan isn't hurt by the kick, but at least Connor got to show off a little. Connor springs up for another kick, but Satan grabs his leg and whips him back and forth onto the floor like they're in a Warner Brothers cartoon. Finally Satan hauls Connor up and tosses him into...wait for it...the windows! Connor plunges down several stories and lands in the street.

The Angelmobile screeches to a halt as Connor lands right in front of it. Angel jumps out, holding a blanket over his head to block the sun. Gunn hustles Angel into the shelter of the building while the others look after Connor. Connor shouts, "The Beast! It's upstairs!" Wesley wonders, "Maybe it needs to do the ritual --" "In the place where Connor lives!" Gunn finishes, in lieu of an "I told you so!" "We'll figure that out later," Angel snaps, possibly echoing the writers. He makes sure Wesley and Fred are ready to create a portal, tells Gwen to go for the orb-holder, and says that he and Gunn will delay Satan until the portal is open. Angel finishes by saying, "Cordy, keep [Connor] safe." Connor calls, "Dad!" I don't think he wants to be the one who needs protecting. Angel says, "It's okay, Connor. I'm here now." Aw, such a dad. I don't think Angel's presence is really that reassuring, but he means well. They head upstairs.

Satan puts the orb into the winged base. "This is all I get for sending in my proof-of-purchase seals?" he grumbles. Then he exhales, and black ink oozes out of his mouth and fills the globe, turning it dark. He sets the dingus down in the center of a mystic circle of some kind. I'm sad that we missed seeing him bent over, holding a paintbrush in his big claws, creating that thing. I guess he could have used magic, but that's no fun. He starts chanting, and then holds up what I guess is Ma'at's heart. Blood drips down into the orb. And then the MoG burst in.

Connor has cleaned the blood off his face and is standing, clutching his ribs. He insists that he could help the others upstairs. Cordy's sure they're fine. I think they're both in denial.

Wesley and Fred chant from books, and why does it take two of them to open a portal? Fred managed fine on her own last time. Wesley probably is counting this as a date in his creepy stalker notebook. Gunn and Angel mildly annoy Satan with some weaponry while Gwen tries to edge across the room. She finally dashes over to the orb, but Satan sees her and quickly tosses a heavy chunk of wood at her. The dingus clatters, and the orb goes rolling across the floor. Angel shouts at Gwen to grab the orb, but it's too late. The orb merrily rolls along to rest at Satan's feet. Then Satan accidentally steps on it, loses his balance, and falls. Okay, that didn't happen, but I half-expected it to. After all the violence and destruction, they discover that Satan's weakness is marbles! And then the season finale could be a lot like the parade in Animal House!

Cordy gasps, because it's all she's allowed to do now. Vision time. Satan says, "You are a worthy adversary." See, that's funny, because "Satan" means "adversary." Well, It's funny to me. End vision. Cordy looks up and moans, "Oh no."

Satan keeps chanting. So do Wesley and Fred. A portal starts swirling behind Satan.

Connor asks Cordy if things get dimmer when you pass out. "I guess," Cordy answers, and then she and Connor look up at the sky. Little tendrils of blackness creep out across the sun's face.

Angel declares, "Now or never!" and attacks Satan. He, Gunn, and Gwen take turns clubbing and shoving Satan. Finally Angel swoops in and gives Satan a kick, knocking Satan back into the portal. Poof. Everyone stares, then Gwen says, "We did it. Didn't we?"

Darkness falls on Los Angeles, without the benefit of Emma Caulfield. The black swirls cover the sun completely. And as if things weren't bad enough, Cordy has to gasp some more. I miss the twitching and falling down; her gasping all the time just makes me wonder if she has asthma. Plus, imagine if she went all twitchy and fell down and Angel didn't even try to catch her? That would either be sad or very funny. Just a suggestion. In the vision, Satan continues: "But our strength is useless divided."

Fred asks, "Why is it still getting dark?" I give you the smart one, ladies and gentlemen! You can keep her. Suddenly, Satan starts talking from behind them, because Wesley is stupid. Either the portal didn't work correctly, or Satan doesn't have any problem finding his way through other dimensions. I vote for the latter, actually. Satan says, "I told you once [that] you need not be my enemy." The MoG back away unhappily.

In Cordy's vision, Satan says, "Join with me!" The camera whips around so that we can see Angelus. In period costume. With the long hair. Oh please, please, please let this be after he lost the accent.

In the loft, Satan says, "Angelus..."

Cordy-vert. She mutters, "The answer is among you."

The MoG look bewildered. Although that may be their resting state. Satan bends over to pick up the orb. From the setting that it was knocked out of earlier. Wuh? I guess he put it back in after it landed at his feet. Satan puts the orb in his mouth and then looks at them like, "What? I was hungry! Do you mind not staring? Jeez, how rude!" Satan says, "We'll meet again. Soon." Then he strikes a Superman pose and starts to launch himself to somewhere. I guess he jumps through the window. Wesley observes that the sun is gone. I thought we covered that a minute ago, Wesley.

Down on the street, it is effectively night. Is this all because I made fun of the unending nights they seemed to have on Angel? Does that mean this is a shout-out? Probably not. The MoG stumble out of the building. Cordy hurries up to Angel and declares, "We have to talk." Again? She says she's figured it out, but Angel says, "So have I. It knows me." Cordy says no: Satan knows Angelus. She explains that she wasn't having visions; she was remembering things from when she was on the higher plane and saw Angel's past. She says, "Since I've been back, my memory's been fading, until the Powers decided to jog it, I guess." She sums up the vision, and Connor snarls at Angel, "You knew this thing and you didn't tell us?" Angel, exasperated, says, "I couldn't come up against something like that and not remember!" Cordy says, "Like you remember falling asleep before Manny got killed?" "What?" Angel and I say. Gwen nods, "An inside job." Angel snaps, "What's that supposed to mean?" "It means you're a suspect," Wesley chirps. He's striking a pose up on the loading dock, so that he'll seem more authoritative as he says, "This Beast may have some sort of power over you. To make you do things. To make you forget." Cordy adds that she thinks that everything Satan's done so far is just part of a larger plan. Angel says, "I don't know what to tell any of you, because I don't know what the plan is!" Wesley says, "No, but Angelus might." Guh? Wesley guarantees himself a spot in week's previouslys by saying, "There's only one way to defeat this Beast. We need Angelus." Angel glares at the camera, thinking, "If I'm evil, I might kill Cordelia! But there's probably a down side I'm not thinking of."

time, Angel and Angelus are like Jekyll and Hyde. Except totally not. The MoG get some cage-building tips from Wesley. Angel becomes Angelus, which leads to him chuckling happily. Takes care of the brooding problem, at least.