Props to everyone I saw in Vegas, everyone who gave me presents, all the posters, and everyone who remembers to use their turn signals (just on general principles).
Previously on Angel, Fred tried to bore a whole new crowd, Lilah experimented with a new look, Satan warmed up his pitching arm, and can we just skip Cordy and Connor?
No, we can't, because this episode starts up right where the last one ended. Damn. Angel stares down at Connor, who's still doing push-ups over Cordy. Angel seems to be standing on a rooftop with an overhang of some kind, so that he's protected from the sizzling drizzle. We finally get new footage as Angel abruptly turns, swings, and punches the door off its hinges. It's a wonder that doors don't just fall apart on their own when they see Angel headed toward them. Angel disappears into the stairwell, and we hear more crashes and clangs and muffled growls. I think the first punch would have been enough, because this just make me wonder if Angel was so angry that he fell down the stairs. Credits already? Wow, short teaser.
Fred's somehow found her way home, and isn't it just our luck that she didn't even singe her hair? She's in the lobby, listening to the news on the radio. The very, very quiet radio. I turn the volume up and up until I can hear the announcer saying that "what authorities are now calling meteor showers" have kept emergency teams busy dealing with fires and explosions, and people are being asked to stay in their homes. The phone rings, and I jump at the loud noise and turn the volume back down to normal levels. Fred answers and starts to reassure the caller unconvincingly. Gunn, Cary, and Wesley walk into the lobby, and Fred drops the phone and rushes over to them. Well, she rushes over to Gunn, and they're all hugs and cuddles and Wesley glares at them as he walks by. Shut up, Wesley. If he goes on resenting them this way, I'm going to start liking them as a couple. Fred stops hugging long enough to ask where Angel is. Gunn says that Angel will probably turn up soon, and the conversation turns to the papers they used to track down Satan, which are still covering the floor. I brace myself for exposition but Gunn, bless his heart, says, "Plenty of time for updates later," and insists on forming a plan to deal with Satan. Wesley sniffs, "That's not what Angel would do." Gunn replies, "Thanks for your opinion, and I don't remember asking." I'd only add, "Which part of that isn't what Angel would do? Making a plan? You might have a point there. But even so, when did Angel become the model for how to behave?" Fred asks what kind of beastie they're fighting, and Cary describes it as "the big, bad, possibly-invincible, demony thing that nearly killed us all before he ring-mastered tonight's Cirque du Flambé." I'll excuse the "big, bad" part because I liked the rest of that line, but the overly self-aware shout-outs need to stop. Fred confirms that this is the thing Cary saw when he read Cordy. Shouldn't he not know that for sure, what with the brain-suckage? Fred brings the "big bad" count to two as she suggests waiting for Angel. Quit that! Gunn sarcastically asks, "So we just wait 'cause we don't know what Angel would or wouldn't do?" Gunn speaks for me. "Would I do what?" Angel asks from the doorway. Looks like he's adopted Wesley's habit of waiting for a good cue to enter. Fred notices that Angel looks particularly disheveled, but he says they'll talk about it in the morning. He heads straight for the stairs as Fred wonders if anyone's heard from Cordelia and Connor. Angel mutters, "They're fine," without stopping. "You saw them?" Cary calls. Angel grunts and disappears upstairs. The gang gossips about how terrible Angel looked. Wesley opines, "Nobody likes to lose, whatever the circumstance," and looks straight at Fred. Gee, Wesley, I can't imagine why Fred went for Gunn when she could have dated a bitchy twelve-year-old like you. Also? Shut up.
Blipvert to day. The fire seems to have ceased raining. At the loft, Cordy wakes up and sees Connor in bed to her. Her eyes widen, and she rolls over looking pretty bewildered. Connor stirs and leans over her shoulder to ask cheerfully, "Did the world end?" Is that the Quor-Toth version of asking if the earth moved? Oh, wait; he means literally. Cordy mutters, "Not exactly," and Connor kisses her shoulder and figures that's good news. Cordy tells him not to give her "the happy puppy look," because it makes things harder. Connor remains clueless as Cordy gives him the "last night will always be special" speech, finishing by declaring that their chess game was a one-time-only deal. Connor asks why, and Cordy sits up and says, "You're Angel's son. It rained fire last night -- never a good sign -- and a giant demony beast crawled out from the earth where you were born." Does that answer his question? Not really, but it does distract him back into thinking that he's connected to Satan. Cordy disagrees, saying, "I told you last night --" Connor snarks, "Yeah, you said a lot of things last night," and struggles to put on his pants without removing the sheet that's currently covering him. He continues whining that it's all his fault, while a baffled Cordelia tries to interrupt: "All I said was --" Connor finishes, "That I can't be with you." Then he grabs a shirt and stomps out.
Wesley is doing paperwork at his apartment when there's a knock on the door. It's Lilah, who sighs with relief on seeing him and then says, "Okay. I was just checking." He smiles slightly and admits that he's alive. "Not by much, from the looks of it," Lilah melodramas as she hugs him. Lilah, he's got a couple of bruises and scratches. It takes a lot more than that to kill Wesley, much to my chagrin. Lilah says that she spent the night at Wolfram & Hart, "the safest place to be in case of an apocalypse." Or so she thinks. She offers to make Wesley "feel better," and as usual he starts playing hard-to-get. Lilah makes the understatement of the decade: "Y'know, it's weird." Turns out she's just talking about the fact that Wesley's acting kinda cold toward her. Which is their standard mode, isn't it? How is that weird? Wesley says, "I can't do this anymore." Lilah doesn't take him seriously at first, but he continues, "After what I saw last night, I believe a day of reckoning has arrived." Lilah skips the obvious joke about how she can treat him to a rapture, and instead asks if he's rejoining the MoG. Wesley says, "I'm choosing a side." Lilah snarks, "And the girl of your dreams just happens to be on it. What are the odds?" Fifty-fifty, actually. Wesley says, "It's about right and wrong," and Lilah replies, "And you have such a clear grip on those concepts." Hee. Wesley breaks into "My Way" as he admits to a few errors. Lilah thinks for a second, then sidles up and admits, "I could wear the glasses again." Poor, poor Lilah. Wesley says, "Don't embarrass yourself," like it's not too late for that, adding, "There is a line, Lilah. Black and white. Good and evil." Wesley's obsession with straight lines might explain his attraction to Fred. Lilah goes on a stream-of-consciousness tirade about how together, black and white make gray, and how Fred doesn't wear gray, but, as a matter of fact, "she prefers black." With that, Lilah stomps out. I get the feeling that last line was written first, and the rest was written to set it up. It has that feel. Which I recognize from when I do the same thing.
At the Hyperion, Fred complains to Gunn that she can't find anything about Satan in all their prophecies and stuff. They look up as Cordelia enters, and now she even looks pregnant to me. I'm not very observant, you know. But the wrap top is kind of a giveaway. Gunn asks if Cordy and Connor survived okay, and Cordy starts to say, "It was, uh..." Fred offers, "Scary, nasty, and nervous-making." Johanna fully expected that Cordy was going to get a punchline there like, "Not the way you mean, but yes." Instead, Cordy asks where Angel is, and Fred directs her to the office.
Cordy enters the office and asks if Angel has a minute. Angel shrugs, not looking at her. The stake-to-the-neck injury has left a little love bite on his neck. So, once again, his healing powers work in random ways. Although I could rationalize that whatever it is that makes stakes deadly to vampires might mean that non-fatal injuries take longer to heal. Whatever. Cordy wants to talk about Connor. Angel looks up and says, "I already know," then quickly walks out into the lobby. Cordy, relieved, follows him as she chirps that he's handling it better than she is. He eyes Gunn and Fred, then quietly asks, "Can we not do this right now?" before heading back into the office. Cordy insists, "The fact that this hell-beast you're all looking for crawled up out of the ground at the exact spot where your son was born seems precisely what we should be talking about right now." Phew, long sentence. Angel blinks at that news, causing Cordy to say, "You said you already knew." Angel -- who suddenly seems to be a lot swifter on the uptake than Cordy is -- quickly backpedals and insists that he does know, but it could be a coincidence. He asks if she thinks Connor is connected to Satan. She says no, "He's a sweetie-pie," ew. Angel asks why Cordy's telling him all this, then. Cordy declares, "Because your son stormed out this morning, and he really does believe it."
Wolfram & Hart nightvert. Gavin sets a cup of coffee on Lilah's desk as she talks on the phone. He offers her sugar, and she glares at him before telling whoever she's talking to, "Find that beast, or I swear to God I will..." Gavin whispers a suggestion: "Boil you alive." Lilah hisses at him to shut up, then continues, "...Boil. You. Alive." Hee. Gavin's so much more likable as Lilah's very own Smithers. Lilah hangs up and pretends to take a swig from the coffee cup even though it's either empty or she can chug half a venti without needing to swallow. Gavin reports, "Intel confirms that it was the creature that triggered the pyrotechnics last night. They're just not sure why he did it." Lilah theorizes that Satan doesn't really have an agenda beyond the usual destruction and mayhem. She says, "The Senior Partners want us to try and cut a deal with it," since they all have apocalyptic goals in common. "The Partners feel it might speed things along. Save a few bucks." It doesn't make sense, but even so, I like the joke of trying to bring the apocalypse in under budget. Gavin exits, but leaves the door open so that we know the scene isn't over. Sure enough, he backs into the office with Connor following him. Connor isn't walking backwards, though. You get what I mean, right? Connor shoves Gavin out of the way and tells Lilah, "I have questions." He says, "I want to know why I'm here. What I am." Lilah presses a button on the side of her desk as she happily agrees to help Connor. She runs through some non-invasive procedures they can do in the lab, and as a couple of guards enter, adds that after that, they can "slice [him] open and start pokin' around!" She makes it sound so fun! Connor does a nifty roundhouse punch that clobbers both guards, and then grabs Lilah by the neck. Uh oh. The last person who grabbed her that way was Wesley, and look how that turned out. Lilah is happy to reconsider any vivisection plans, and Connor explains, "That demon you're seeking -- I think I'm connected to it. I want to find out how." Lilah tells Gavin to get a copy of his report for Gavin, and then the lights go out. Connor lets go of Lilah and explains for the slow people in the audience: "It's here."
After the ads, Lilah tries calling downstairs, but the phones are out. She tells Gavin to grab one of the unconscious guards' walkie-talkies. Gavin does so, and calls down to the front desk. Eventually, a guard responds, and we hear ominous noises in the background as he shrieks, "We're kinda -- oh no! Oh my God!" Lilah grumps, "Tell him to stop whining and make a report." Heh. We hear a few more screams over the walkie-talkie before Gavin gives up. Connor sniffs, "Told you," and pulls out a large knife. This is a really entertaining group of people to have trapped together. Lilah orders Gavin to go downstairs and see what's going on. He starts to refuse, until Lilah asks, "What are you more afraid of, a giant murderous demon or me?" Gavin grits his teeth and says, "Be right back." Ha! Lilah asks Connor what Satan wants. "Everybody dead," he replies before leaving the room. Lilah opens a desk drawer and pulls out a pistol. She inserts a magazine and chambers a round before following Connor out. Excellent.
A lawyer goes flying into the wall. Aw, poor Satan still hasn't found any way to kill people besides hurling them into stuff. At my office, that wouldn't really be effective because almost all of the walls are drywall -- they're constantly knocking down walls and walling up doorways. I'm not sure why, unless it's to keep everyone off balance. But I digress. We hear screams and thumps as the camera pans over various bodies on the floor. For a minute, I started getting annoyed at how dark it was because it's hard to make things out, and then I remembered that it was a plot point that there's no power, and it adds to the spooky mood, and so it's a good thing. Although I am amused at how all of the blood seems to drip onto convenient piles of paper so that it's visible in the low light. We finally pan over to Satan's big silly feet, then up a little so we can see that he's holding a severed head. How'd he get that? Can throwing someone into a wall knock his head off that neatly? It is a very nice severed head, though. And I wonder if it's been made to look like someone on the staff or the crew or something. Because that would be a really fun way to make a cameo. We pan up some more to Satan, who's just sort of standing there, all satanic and stuff. He turns and marches away.
Cut to a very dimwitted lawyer, who happens to be blonde. She's pressing the elevator button repeatedly. Because the lack of power isn't a clue or anything. I wonder if they're going to redo the Initiative joke from "Hush" about using the stairs in case of emergency. Crowds of lawyers rush through the halls, talking on cell phones and generally panicking. It is inexplicably dusty. Which again adds to the mood, but unless Satan really has been knocking down drywall nearby, I'm not sure what rationale there is for the dust in the air. Lilah and Connor walk through the crowd. Lilah asks what Satan is, and Connor says, "I don't know, but I think it's been following me around." Stalked By Satan would be the ultimate Lifetime movie, wouldn't it? I guess Lilah isn't thinking quickly enough to suggest that, in that case, she'd like Connor to leave as soon as possible. Instead, she asks if Connor is going to kill it. He says he'll try. She nervously asks, "And we're heading towards [sic] it right now?" She stops abruptly. Connor keeps walking, and in the distance behind him she waves and calls, "Best of luck!" Heh.
The crowds, and the blonde lawyer, have finally found the stairwell, and peristalsis takes them down. People run through a door and are suddenly knocked down when a body crashes into them. Guess who? Satan walks into the frame, shoves two men back through the door, and then there are more crashing sounds, which either means that Satan's killing people or he's trying to climb stairs and keeps falling because of his clunky feet.
This is hard to recap. "Then, there's more mayhem!" Satan walks down a hall, and stops to a door. He raises his arm and pushes the door open. Inside a supply closet, we see Gavin, frantically shoving cleaning supplies off the shelves. He stops, looks up at Satan, swallows, and says, "Hi." Satan grabs him by the neck, hauls him up, and presumably squeezes until Gavin's neck snaps. And then, of course, hurls the body into a wall. He needs some new schtick. Poor Gavin. He should have known better than to suddenly be likable. That's the surest way to get killed.
Connor holds his knife at the ready as he steps over mangled corpses. His attention is drawn by a lot of blood on the wall. Presumably he sees what caused it, but we don't, because this is television, dammit. Then he hears gunshots.
Lilah is backing into a conference room and firing at Satan, who's standing right in front of her. He doesn't seem to mind. Satan shoves her down supine on her desk as she gasps, "I can help you. Anything you need." Satan shoves a digit through her very nice white ribbed top and into her body as she wails in pain. A man who was collapsed on the floor chooses this minute to stand up. They've got no survival instincts at all at this company. Satan looks at the guy, removes his hand from Lilah's insides, and knocks her off the desk. But not into a wall, at least. Satan advances on the man as Connor rushes in. He leaps up onto the desk and, with one mighty blow, stabs Satan in the back. The blade promptly splinters. Oops. Satan turns and intones, "Connorrrrrrrr." Connor punches Satan, which does exactly as much damage as you'd expect. Satan grabs Connor and throws him a birthday party with pony rides and ice cream cake. Oh, fine. That should say, "throws him into a wall." I'm tired of typing those words. Although, for a change, the wall crumbles on impact, so that bits of the ceiling fall down and bury Connor.
Lilah, in the meantime, has escaped into the hallway. She covers the wound in her side and stumbles along. Satan appears behind her in the distance, in a very nice shot. I mean, it's all very clichéd, with the girl running away from the monster who just paces along calmly, but it's a cliché because it works. Lilah tries to hurry, and is suddenly grabbed and pulled into an office.
By Wesley. He shuts the door, because that's gonna keep Satan out, as Lilah gasps, "I don't understand. Why are you here?" Wesley explains that he's got "a man on the inside." A what? So for three years he's tripping over his own shoelaces and begging Angel for work, and then over one summer he gets his own sidekicks, builds a network of spies, and develops his own list of clients who can pay him well enough that he can purchase expensive, yet bewildering weaponry. I can only assume that we were right long ago when we speculated that Wesley could only be competent when nobody was looking at him. More crashing noises are audible, and Wesley asks, "What's that?" Lilah explains, "The building automatically shuts down under a full-scale attack." Man, Angel's gonna be so pissed that he doesn't qualify for this treatment. Or maybe it was implemented recently, in preparation for Angel's visit. Wesley eyes Lilah's wound as he asks what "shuts down" means. Shutters clang down across the window, answering his question. Because she knows Wesley's not that bright, Lilah explains, "Windows, doors, air vents -- nobody gets in or out." The door crashes in, and Satan enters. Wesley quickly picks Lilah up and heads for the door as Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes burst into "Up Where We Belong."
Wesley carries Lilah down the hall, insisting that there must be a way to leave the building. Satan follows behind them, but is distracted when a collapsed lawyer suddenly stands up and kamikazes directly into him. Lilah gasps, "Around the corner -- supply closet." Lilah, this is no time for that. Wesley swings around the corner and sets Lilah down, then pulls out a grenade. Lilah mutters, "You've got to be kidding me." Wesley pulls the pin and tosses the grenade at Satan's feet. Satan looks down. The audience says "What does that do?" for him.
There's an explosion, and Wesley quickly grabs Lilah again and hurries on, explaining that the grenade won't kill Satan, but "it'll distract him for a moment." They stop upon finding Gavin's body. Lilah delivers the eulogy: "Poor bastard." Well said. They step into the closet, and I said it in the forums, but I'll say it again: it's so damn nice to learn that there was a reason Gavin was throwing things off the shelves in this closet. My notes here read, "Hey! That makes fucking sense!" Not to imply that I'm startled when characters' behavior makes sense. Except, y'know, sometimes. They enter the closet and shut the door as Satan stomps into view.
Lilah brushes items off the shelves. Wesley asks if this is the right place, and she enigmatically says, "Yeah, third floor and lobby." That'll be important later, but it's a really strange answer to Wesley's question. She finds a switch behind the stacks of toilet paper, and pulls it. A panel in the wall opens, and they hurry through. It's not a very well-hidden switch. It's a big silver lever in the wall. Every single janitor has to know about that. They scramble into the hidden passage just as Satan pulls the door off its hinges. He looks into the empty closet and, disgruntled, walks on.
Cut to a sewer tunnel. We hear Wesley and Lilah gasping off-camera, and are they at it again? This isn't really the time or place. There's a weird shot that might be the ceiling, or then again might not, and they suddenly fall out of the secret passage and land in the bottom of the tunnel. Ick. After taking a moment to recover, Wesley tells Lilah, "Now you disappear. You get patched up and leave town." He says that Satan "won't quit until everyone at Wolfram & Hart is dead. Go underground, change your name." What, now Satan's the Terminator? What's Wesley basing this on? Sure, Satan seems keen on killing everyone in the building, but I'm not sure that means he's going to go all One-Armed Man on Lilah. Although now that I think about it, that'd be a brilliant spinoff. Sort of Brimstone-meets-The Pretender. Wesley starts marching off gallantly, leaving Lilah to fend for herself. She calls after him in that way that people do when they want to declare their love but can't because the person they're talking to is actually an annoying prig who they don't love because they've got more sense than that. Wesley stops and looks at Lilah, who looks absolutely stunning. Not that she's ugly normally, but something the lighting and the fact that her lips are pale and her eyes look huge and wow. She looks at Wesley, then shakes her head, because she can do better, and finally just tells him that Connor's in the Wolfram & Hart building. She says, "I don't know if he's alive. He's in a third-floor conference room. There's no way back in; I just thought you should know." They look at each other for a second, and then Wesley departs. Lilah starts off in the opposite direction. Does she know her way around the sewers? It'd be funny if, five episodes from now, Angel finds a crazed, half-starved Lilah eating sewer rats down there lisping her special birthday present. The camera pans down to water dripping against the floor, the sound of which fades out and turns into...
...Gunn tapping his pencil on a book. Ooo, artsy. Fred tells Gunn that the scene transition is over, so he can stop now. They're all having a fun research party in the lobby. Gunn stops tapping, Fred apologizes for snapping, Cordy observes that they're all tired, and that lets Angel sniff, "Wonder why?" as he strolls past. Cordy looks confused. Gunn says, "We're assuming that it's a big connect-the-dot that Connor and this devily guy have this alley in common, but isn't this alley right behind Caritas?" Cary agrees, noting, "That whole block is a big fat interdimensional happening hot spot." Cordy says that Satan "didn't emerge from a portal so much as a pothole." That's three fantastically strange lines in a row. Wesley enters and lets the door slam. I guess he'd been waiting for a dramatic cue for a while and finally got bored with it, so now he's sulking. Gunn eyes Wesley and sighs, "Oh good, more bad news." Ha! Fred quietly reminds Gunn that Wesley was his friend. "Heavy on the 'was,'" Gunn replies. If this is supposed to make me think that Gunn's being unfair, it's not working. But if it's supposed to make me think that I love Gunn, everything's just fine. Wesley announces that Satan is at Wolfram & Hart's offices, "and so is --" Gunn interrupts, "That answers a lot of questions. They're probably having a big sit-down, breaking bread." Wesley corrects him, noting that Satan's actually breaking skulls. Angel looks thoughtful, like, "Maybe this Satan guy isn't so bad." Gunn says, "I've heard worse news." Wesley adds that Connor is in the building, too. Angel "what"s and Cordy "oh my God"s and asks "Why would he be in there? I don't understand." Angel can't let that pass without saying, "Lots of things I don't understand." I think Angel's pissy remarks would work better if they were asides that nobody else heard. Because when he's saying this stuff directly to Cordy, it makes everyone in the room seem dumb for not at least asking him what's up, if not figuring it out themselves. Angel figures they've got to run to the resuce, but Wesley says, "Building's locked tight. There's no way out." Except the one he used. Angel snaps, "I bet there's a way in!" Does he think the building is a giant roach motel? Normally, anything that serves as an entrance can also serve as an exit.
Close-up on Gavin's body. Connor walks into the background, approaches, and passes Gavin. Gavin opens his eyes. Boo! I'd like to think that the timing there wasn't a coincidence.
The MoG are choosing weapons and grabbing flashlights. Cordy approaches Angel and says that everything will be fine: "Connor's a champion, like you. He's special." Angel glares at her and repeats, "Like me. Special." Thanks for not repeating the "C"-word, Angel. I appreciate it. Then he declares that someone should stay home and mind the hotel, and Cary eagerly volunteers. Gunn asks how this is going to be different from their last encounter with Satan. Angel makes actual sense by pointing out that they aren't trying to kill Satan; they just want to rescue Connor. Gunn isn't convinced that Satan will allow that, so Angel has to speechify: "I don't know the answers. Don't even know most of the questions." Points for honesty, but that's not very reassuring. He goes on to raise the "big bad" count, saying, "As far as 'us versus the big bad' is concerned, there's only one smart way to play it. We see it, we run like hell." Cordy chirps, "Works for me," and grabs a knife. Angel immediately pulls the weapon from her hand and says that she's staying with Cary. She protests. Angel insists that she can't come, finally saying, "It's dangerous. Way too dangerous. I can't risk it." He pauses for a beat and calls, "Fred? Get a move on." Ha! Fred ponders the dis for a minute before following Angel out. Cary cheerfully waves goodbye while Cordy stands numbly, trying to figure out why Angel's acting strange. She wonders, "Is it my hair?"
Blipvert back to the sewer. Wesley stops and says, "This is it. I believe there's a door about thirty meters up." Gunn wants some reassurance, and points out, "Every time you show up believin' something, seems somebody gets their head drilled, [or] falls into a portal." He's not wrong. Wesley starts to reply, and just as I'm wondering if they can just ride their escalating bickering into the building, Angel has to be the dad and tell them to knock it off: "I don't give a rat's ass about whatever's going on between you. Put it away. We're here for Connor." While I'd compliment Angel for being the mature one here, it's hard to forget that Angel's spent plenty of time being snippy himself, so it's not so much maturity as concentrated egomania: "Only my grudges matter." Which is in character, so that's fine. Plus, I'm not sure why he's acting as if it's only Gunn who has any issues with Wesley. And I'm not sure it's a smart move to remind everyone that they're there to rescue Connor, who hasn't particularly endeared himself to anyone. After a moment, Gunn looks up at the trapdoor and asks how they'll get through it and into the building. Angel bends down, grabs a bag of stuff, and suddenly launches himself up into the chute. We hear clambering noises as Gunn mutters, "Show-off." A rope drops down out of the chute.
The MoG walk through another dark, dusty hallway full of bodies. The flashlights make those exciting beams in the still-inexplicable dust. I wonder if there are kids who watch a lot of genre television who are stunned and disappointed when they discover that flashlights don't always make those beams. Gunn jumps at a noise. Everyone's creeped out by the bodies and blood and general spookiness, although it is a shame that Angel doesn't react to the blood. Although the kind of reaction I'd appreciate might require a little more subtlety than I can reasonably expect from Boreanaz. On the other hand, I am happy to note that Angel is taking point, and that he doesn't need a flashlight. They walk through the lobby, stepping over corpses.
Angel leads them into a stairwell, reminding everyone of the plan: "Third floor. Get Connor, get out." It's Fred's turn to jump at nothing. As they go upstairs, Angel reminds everyone to be quiet, which is kind of funny since he's not really keeping his voice down. As they climb, we see the flashlights playing over bodies. Cool. We see the blonde lawyer from earlier lying on the floor. As someone passes, her eyes snap open. Rats. So it's not all Connor's fault after all.
As they walk down another hallway, Gunn decides to obey Angel's instruction to stay quiet by asking philosophical questions, like, why Satan is killing Wolfram & Hart's people when they're all on the side of evil? Angel speculates, "Maybe all it wants is to eliminate the competition." More walking. More spookiness. My mom didn't like this episode much, but she was impressed by the number of extras they had for all the bodies everywhere. Although I'm sure it was really just ten or twenty people they recycled in scene after scene. That'd be kind of irritating. "Now, in this scene we want you to lie motionless on your back, with some blood splashed artfully around you. Try not to breathe. Perfect! Okay, in this scene, we'd like you to be collapsed on these stairs. And put this wig on. Great!" Sorry, I got distracted. The walking-down-moody-hallways is nice to watch, but there's not much I can say about it.
The MoG turn a corner and find...another moody hallway to walk down. So they do. The supply closet is nearby, and Wesley looks down at the piles of toilet paper on the floor and mutters, "Wasn't Gavin....?" Because Gavin's gone. Angel finds the conference room, and they hurry in before Wesley can finish that thought. Wait a minute. So now they're by the third-floor supply closet. Which is where the secret passage is. The secret passage that the MoG used to get in. So why are they just getting here now? I could accept that there's one chute down, and doors into it on several floors in the building. But then, when they were climbing up the chute, why not take it directly to the third floor? More climbing, but less chance of running into Satan. Ah well.
The MoG claw at the pile of rubble Connor was buried under. After a few minutes, they realize that Connor isn't there. Angel looks on the bright side: "That's good. Means he's still alive." Gunn says, "Or that Sherlock got his facts wrong again." In addition to liking it when Gunn is mean to Wesley just on general principles, another benefit is that Gunn gets a lot more dialogue as a result. Angel says he can smell Connor in the room, so he was there. This is where the "Angel smelling blood everywhere" idea would fit particularly well, because someone could ask why Angel can't just track Connor by scent, and Angel could nervously say that there are too many other smells, and Fred could ask what, and Angel could say "...blood. I should have eaten before we left." And then Angel could kill Fred and drink her blood and everyone would feel better. But instead of that, we just get Angel suggesting that they split up. Great! Because they're wandering around in a giant dark building and there's a horrible monster trying to kill them. I've had dreams like this, and splitting up never works out well. Neither does running down the street to another building. Nope; you've gotta go back in time, and then go down to the basement and unplug the squirrels from all of the oscillators that that are supplying the monster with power. What? It worked like a charm when I did it. Anyway, Angel tells the others to "take one stairwell, sweep each floor; we'll meet up top." If the others are checking every floor, what's Angel's job? Maybe he's going to put his feet up and grab some coffee.
Cut to the seventh floor, where Angel is still looking for coffee. I'll bet those bastards at Wolfram & Hart are just like the people I work with, and can't be bothered to start a fresh pot. "Oh, there's still an eighth of a cup in the carafe, so I don't have to start a new pot!" Except the carafe holds more than a pot, so you can start a new pot brewing while there's still a cup or two left. And it's not like it's such a chore. The coffee is pre-measured! If it takes a whole minute I'd be shocked. I've warned my boss that the day I finally snap and start screaming at people, it's going to be because I've had to make three pots of coffee for every cup I actually get to drink. Anyway. You're not missing anything except that Angel's walking down a spooky hallway. We go to a long shot of him, and in the foreground, a shape suddenly zips past the camera. Angel turns, too late to see it. He continues, and suddenly the sword is kicked out of his hand. He grabs his attacker, shoves him against a wall, and of course it's Connor. Angel quickly hugs Connor, gasping, "Thank God you're alive." Connor, not sharing the love, asks how Angel knew where he was. Angel starts to drag Connor toward the stairs, but Connor insists that he has to kill Satan because this is all his fault. Angel says, "We can't kill it, and no it's not. We've thrown everything we have at it; it's not enough. We need to go." Maybe he should try fighting Satan again without any weapons while a crowd of idiots watches. Because apparently that strategy works really well for some people. Angel turns, and suddenly a zombified Gavin is grabbing him. Angel clobbers Gavin and throws him into a wall, like Gavin hasn't had enough of that kind of treatment. Angel ponders that for a second. Connor notes, "He looks dead." "He is dead," Angel says with some exasperation. Gavin slowly stands up as Angel explains that Gavin is a zombie. This time, Gavin's tossed into a potted plant. Angel says, "It's an undead thing." "Like you?" Connor asks. Angel, hurt, says, "No! Zombies are slow-moving, dimwitted things that crave human flesh." "Like you!" Connor repeats, and Angel snaps "No!" again while I giggle. While that's funny no matter what, what really makes it great is that Connor's grinning a little at the end of it, like he's enjoying the joke himself. Angel kicks Gavin in the head as he starts to move again, and then Angel and Connor head down the hall. Other bodies start to move as they pass, and Connor asks why this is happening. Angel ducks the question, insisting that they have to find the rest of the MoG.
Fred, Gunn, and Wesley are in a dim, spooky hallway. Y'know, for a change. Wesley steps over a body to check an office. When he comes out a moment later, the body is gone. "That's odd," Wesley notes. Sharp as a tack. Gunn asks, "Shouldn't Angel be swooping in any minute now?" Fred shrieks, "Charles!" and rushes to help as a zombie attacks Gunn. And suddenly there are zombies bustin' out all over. Even though they're all holding weapons, everyone just decides to punch the zombies. They're not very bright. Sometimes they punch the zombies with the hand that's holding a sword. I know beheadings are expensive and probably attract censors, but couldn't they happen off-camera? They finally duck into an office and close the door, just in time for some commercials.
We return to the obligatory scene of lots of zombies pounding wearily against a closed door. That's how you know they're zombies. Inside the office, Gunn asks, "What the hell was that?" Wesley says that they're zombies, and Gunn snaps, "Thanks for the news flash, Captain Obvious." Well, you did ask, Gunn. But any Wesley abuse is still funny. Gunn checks another door in the room, but it's locked. They all brace the door against the onslaught of flailing limbs, and Fred notices that Gunn is wounded. He says that one of the zombies "tried to snack on [him]." They briefly worry that now Gunn will be zombified, but Wesley says, "I don't think it works that way here." Not completely reassured, Gunn tells Wesley, "If it [does], don't let me be one for long." Wesley nods, and then almost cheerfully asks if Gunn will return the favor. Gunn's "Oh, yeah," sounds a little too enthusiastic, and Wesley has a nice reaction shot. Hee. But is anybody planning to kill Fred? I mean, besides the people in the audience? I guess the zombies are, since they punch a hole through the door and start grabbing at her hair. Gunn slices a zombie's arm off, and Fred runs over to the locked door. She starts hammering on the knob with her sword to break the lock, although she's hammering it with the force you'd use to press a thumbtack into a bulletin board. The other door is broken apart, and the zombies start to enter. Wesley and Gunn stay well back from the door instead of standing on either side of it and lopping heads off as the zombies enter. So there's some more punching and not a single decapitation, and finally Fred gets the door open and rushes through. Wesley makes it to the door, but Gunn is stuck in the zombie mob. Gunn calls, "Get her out of here!" Wesley and Fred get through the door while Gunn holds off the zombies. Fred yells, "Charles!" as Gunn suddenly teleports into view. Oops. One second Gunn isn't in the shot, and then there's an edit, and poof, suddenly he's there. I wouldn't have noticed that if I didn't go through the episode so slowly while I'm writing this. But now that I have noticed it, it's all I'm ever going to see, and if I have to have the scene ruined for me so do you. So there!
Meanwhile, somewhere on the seventh floor, as they keep emphasizing, Angel is giving Connor a quick tutorial in zombie-slaying. Basically, you cut off their heads. The end. Angel insists that they really aren't much trouble. He peers around the corner and sees a large group of moaning zombies approaching. He tells Connor, "Unless, of course, there's [sic] hundreds of them."
Fred and Wesley are in another office. Fred wants to go back for Gunn. Wesley insists, "We need to get you to safety." Then he quickly slams a desk up against the door they just came through. Oh, Wesley. The door opens the other way. He goes to check the door out to the hallway, looks out, and sees another zombie horde. D'oh. Fred quavers, "Now what?" Wesley's plan: "We wait. Then we fight." Fred asks why this is happening, and Wesley guesses, "Perhaps it's some building lockdown protocol or some security voodoo." Fred wonders if maybe this is Satan's work, and the scariest part of this episode is right there, as Fred says something that makes sense. Suddenly the desk is bumped out of the way, but it's just a triumphant Gunn, who announces, "Zombies, my ass." Then the other door bursts open, and Angel and Connor arrive. Oh. So they were all on the seventh floor? How does that qualify as splitting up to look for Connor? Oh well. Angel thinks it's time to leave, and Wesley says that the only exits are from the third floor and the lobby. Which is why Lilah had to mention that so awkwardly earlier. The MoG think that's too far. All the zombies just vanished? I guess Angel and Connor killed all of the zombies that were in the hall. Really, really quickly. And quietly. Okay. Angel has another idea: "The White Room. It's an interdimensional space here in Wolfram & Hart." He reassures Fred that it's not a portal, exactly: "More like a gateway. And there's a little girl there. Or something old and evil that likes to pretend she's a little girl." While he expositions a little, let's all admire the way the MoG don't wonder if Angel is just making stuff up. Gunn summarizes, "So fight seven floors of evil lawyer zombies or sweet-talk a nasty little girl. You know where my heart's at." Fred says, "I gotta disagree. I vote for the White Room." I can't decide if it's weird that Fred can tell from that line which plan Gunn preferred, or if it's a subtle way of showing that they do actually know each other pretty well. Angel says he'll need Fred's help.
Are they zombies, or just very tired? You decide. The MoG rush toward the elevators, but the zombies around seem pretty listless and aren't much trouble. Angel pushes the elevator doors open, and lucky for them, one of the elevators was actually stopped at the seventh floor. Fred makes for the control box and starts trying to hotwire the thing. The zombies start paying attention, and the guys fight 'em off while Fred fusses with wiring. Still no decapitating. Stupid censors. Fred works some techno-fu, and Wesley and Angel hop into the elevator. Wesley asks, "Do you remember the code?" Angel sniffs, "Hello? Photographic memory!" Oh, not that again. He starts punching buttons. Gunn and Connor get in a few more punches before getting in, and Angel stares at the buttons and whines, "What?" as the elevator fails to do anything. "Let me try again," he mumbles. Gunn spots Gavin in the lead of the approaching crowd of zombies. Angel presses the buttons again, and Gunn suddenly jumps out, cuts off Gavin's head, and then pops back into the elevator. Hooray! Gunn explains, "Hate seeing someone I know like that. Even someone I know I hate." Angel finally remembers to hit the emergency stop button, completing the sequence. The doors close, and the magic button for the White Room materializes at the top of the panel. Angel says, "Here's hoping she's in a good mood," and presses it. Fade to white.
The MoG stand in the middle of a lot of nothing. In not quite the same positions they had in the elevator, but points for trying. They stare around, and Fred gasps, "Oh no." A short distance away, the Little Girl is lying on the ground, with Satan kneeling over her. He holds one hand over her, and seems to be drawing black stuff out of her and into himself. It looks like ink. Gunn guesses that Satan was waiting for them. Angel says, "No, I don't think so. It wanted this. The girl -- whatever she is, it came for her." Wesley asks if there's any way out. Angel has no response, which makes you wonder if Fred is reconsidering her vote right about now. The little girl turns her head to look at them, points, and says, "The answer is among you." Satan finishes de-inkifying her, and the girl sighs. Satan stands up and starts marching toward the MoG. The feet look okay from the front. But the side view is terrible. The MoG start to hoist their weapons. The girl looks over at them, gestures with her hand, and whispers something squeakily. Fade to white again.
And poof, the MoG are standing in the Hyperion's lobby. Cary is sitting on the couch with a martini and the Enquirer, or perhaps just some non-trademarked tabloid that looks like the Enquirer. He looks at them, and then eyes his martini. Which is funny, but I think the tabloid is my favorite joke. Prop humor! But not the Carrot Top kind of prop humor. Angel states the obvious, but varies it with a little Yoda-speak by saying, "Home. She sent us." He looks around happily, until he sees Cordy sitting behind the front desk and glowers, "Oh." No, wait, that was funnier than the tabloid. He got a quite wonderful tone of disappointment into that syllable. He heads into the office as Cordy goes to greet Connor. She gives him a hug as Angel turns back to watch. While Fred tends to Gunn's wound, Cary asks how they did their new materializing trick. Fred ignores Cary and says that what Satan did to the little girl was awful. Cary asks if a girl got killed. Wesley says, "Not really a girl. Something ancient and evil dressed like a girl." Poor Cary tries to make conversation and this is what he has to deal with. And he's probably sad that he didn't get to say the title this time, either. Gunn wonders what they're going to do if Satan can kill even an evil little girl. Wesley says, "It's going to take a force far smarter and stronger and than us to defeat it." Cary says, "Like there's a lot of that just lying around," and that clinches it: he definitely needs to get out more.
Angel paws through stuff in the office. Cordy enters and tries to get a conversation going. She tells him that she was worried. Angel grunts, "I'll bet." Strike one. She notes that the MoG are discouraged. Angel says, "Yep." Strike two. For her third attempt, Cordy says that she's glad everyone's safe and together. It looks like that might be it, but then Angel looks directly at her, causing brighten up quite a bit. He agrees with her, and then says, "Now, take your new boyfriend and get the hell outta here." Tee hee. I like it when Angel's bitter and grumpy. And I think he enjoys it, too. There's just the tiniest hint of glee in there. I know how that can be. Angel exits, and Cordy stares into space before gasping, "Oh God."
week, Gwen gets clobbered, Cordy's hair looks a little darker, Connor falls from a high place, and Angel makes a really amusing noise when the Beast chokes him.