Previously on Angel, some doofus named Liam got drunk and wandered into an alley with Darla, where he became Angelus, and experienced a hundred years of bad hair. Meanwhile, a crazed barber named Holtz was determined to stop Angel's mane of terror, so he hitched a ride with a demon to the present. Angel reunited with Darla, who said, "God doesn't want you, but I do." I still like that line. Since God wasn't returning his calls, Angel had sex with Darla, who later turned up pregnant, much to everyone's surprise. Oh and there's a prophecy nobody can figure out, and a bunch of Wolfram & Hart employees got killed, and then Holtz turned up at the Hyperion. Got it? Johanna was sure that was the longest previously ever, but it's just barely over a minute long. Which is plenty long, but thatBuffyepisode I did had one that was even longer.
Angel's clever response upon seeing Holtz is "Oh, God." Then he starts muttering to himself that Holtz must be the Tro-clon, "raised up from darkness to bring darkness." Then a demon pops up with some kind of giant iron fork, the tines of which he slides around Angel's neck. More demons attach cuffs to Angel's wrists. The whole set-up is kind of confusing, but I'm sure it would make sense if we could actually see the whole thing. Once Angel is held safely in place, Holtz wanders up with a bared sword and speechifies about sleeping for two hundred years, dreaming of this moment, blah blah blah revengecakes. Angel makes a lame quip, which causes Holtz to note, "You haven't changed." Angel says that actually he has, but doesn't go into his soulfulness, which is perhaps a poor strategic move, but one I respect. Of course, Angel's also distracted, since that's about when Holtz sprinkles holy water on his face. Holtz says, "Somehow, things seem the same to me." Holtz says he'll have justice, with a side order of fries, and Angel insists, "There's no justice for the things I did to you." He's not really pleading his case very well, is he? Holtz responds, "You didn't do them to me, and you didn't do them alone." Then he orders the demons to go find Darla, who he's sure must be lurking nearby.
In the alley, Darla screams some more. Wesley wishes Angel would come back with the scrolls. Gunn thinks that what they need is "some Vaseline and a catcher's mitt." Fred declares that Darla is in the active stage of her labor. They're all doctors now. Fine. Wesley decides that they'll have to give up on Angel and move Darla somewhere safer. Everyone gathers back around the car as Wesley gives Darla a quick tutorial in Lamaze breathing exercises. Darla growls, "I! Don't!" Then she gets some multi-limbed whammo action going, and punches/kicks everyone away from the car. "Breathe!" she finishes, her vamp-face on. Then she starts crying. Oh, poor Darla. She must have just seen the speeches she'll make in the second half. Credits.
Remember that shot of Holtz galloping, galloping, galloping, from last week? Well, in case you forgot, here's your chance to see it again! Whee! But this time, it's intercut with blipverts of Caroline and Sarah. Again, we see Holtz rush into his house and check his wife's dead body. But, in the style of a DVD special edition, there's new footage we've never seen before! Holtz kneels over Caroline's body, his hands covering his eyes, and then he hears, "Papa?" After a moment he looks around and sees Sarah standing behind him. Sarah, who we saw get bit last week. But Holtz didn't, so he hurries over and tries to comfort her, hugging her as he sings, "Sleep, my love, and peace attend thee,/ All through the night..." Which is a rather odd thing to do, but I'm guessing that at this point he's a tad unhinged. Sarah hugs him as he sings and stares at Caroline, and I'm expecting that at any moment Sarah will vamp out and bite Holtz. That's not what happens, though. And I'm happy to be wrong. Nope -- instead, Holtz leans back, still singing, and brushes Sarah's hair out of the way so that he can see the big bite marks on her neck. He stops singing, and then some of his Merry Men enter. One man sees Caroline and crosses himself, but Holtz orders them to leave. They do. Sarah kneels on the floor and starts playing with a doll, her mother's body on the floor behind her. Holtz numbly sings, "No forebodings will alarm thee/ All through the night," as he leans back against a wall, staring at his daughter. Cool scene. The only jarring thing for me -- and this is just a personal problem -- is that I can't hear that song without thinking of the part in The Adventures of Baron Munchausen when Vulcan makes up, and out, with Venus. But again, that's my issue. Notice how this flashback scenes are neat and creepy and subtle? Can anyone explain why the scenes in the present are totally lacking all of these elements?
Lilah, Gavin, and Linwood are engaged in a pedeconference as they try to figure out who Holtz might be. Gavin reminds everyone that Holtz called Angel "Angelus," and Linwood guesses that Holtz is "an old friend." Lilah says that Angel didn't really have friends when he was Angelus, which I think is rudely dismissive of his relationships with Darla, Spike, and Drusilla. Okay, maybe not Spike so much, but he seemed to be on good terms with the girls. Anyway, Gavin says that Fetvanovich and the commandos were "successfully deployed," but that's all they know. Linwood decides that he doesn't even know that, and prepares a highly technical ass-covering maneuver called "pretending it never happened." Before exiting, he tells Gavin and Lilah, "Be advised, when I hear about all this for the very first time, I will be both shocked and appalled." Gavin worries, "He's gonna crucify us." Lilah says, "We don't crucify here. It's too Christian." I thought that was a Roman innovation. Auto-da-fé seems more Christian to me.
Holtz looks over the weapons cabinet and grabs a stake as he wonders out loud how he can lure Darla to the Hyperion. Meanwhile, Angel speculates about what nasty sort of person could have brought Holtz to the present. It's odd that he doesn't even suspect Wolfram & Hart, since they're the ones who resurrected Darla. Oh, I forgot: he only suspects Wolfram & Hart when they're actually responsible for things. Convenient. Holtz speculates that Darla might sense it if Angel died, and come a-running. He dryly notes, "Revenge can be a powerful motivator." I can't believe I already used all thoseWrath of Khanquotes. Angel asks what Holtz had to give up to get "this second chance." Holtz turns and says, "I had nothing to give up. You saw to that." Well, he puts a lot of dramatic breaks in there. It's more like, "I had nothing. To. Give up. You. Saw to that." Angel says that he and Darla took a lot from Holtz, but they couldn't take his soul, and adds that Holtz's soul will be destroyed if he lets himself be "used in the service of evil." Holtz stares at him curiously, wondering if Angel really has changed. "I don't remember you ever pleading so cravenly before," he notes. Well, he missed the dating-Buffy years, remember. Angel responds, "And I remember you used to work with men." Holtz whaps Angel.
Back in the alley, Gunn tells Cordy to smack Wesley again. Oh yes, please! Wesley's unconscious, so supposedly they're just trying to wake him up, but it wouldn't surprise me if they were all taking this opportunity to express some long-standing loathing. Cordy swats Wesley's cheek, and he dutifully wakes up. They all look at Darla, who is in the Angelmobile, busy with an intense session of muttering to herself. Gunn observes, "Hormones." Wesley asks if Darla feels up to travelling, and she nods, whereupon the MoG all squeeze into the front seat. Fred sits in Gunn's lap. Because I needed more reasons to dislike her. Darla asks if anyone wants to sit in the back seat with her. The MoG say they're comfy where they are. Darla pathetically sniffs, "I promise I won't try to throw anyone out of the car. Not while it's moving." Fred points out that Darla's made a mess of the back seat. Wesley stares through the windshield and asks if there's a tire iron in the trunk. There's more dragging out of the joke before everyone realizes that some demons are closing in on them from both ends of the alley. If you're in danger and about to be attacked, do you want to point that out in an enigmatic way, or do you want to say, "Hey! Demons! Get the weapons!" I'd go for the second option. And let's not forget that there are a grand total of two demons at each end of the alley. They're in a large car, capable of generating a fair amount of force. I hope I never again hear about what a brilliant tactician Wesley is.
Holtz is making fun of Angel for pretending to worry about Holtz's soul when a demon enters. Holtz whispers, "Excuse me," and goes to chat with the demon. I really liked that moment. Holtz is so polite. Holtz listens to the demon for a minute and announces, "They've got her? Good." He orders that Darla be brought in. The demon opens the door and Lilah is shoved inside. Holtz is a bit vexed at the mix-up. He walks up to Lilah and splashes holy water in her face, which is just funny. Angel asks if the dead bodies littering the lobby were sent by Lilah. She ignores him and tells Holtz, "If I'd known you were torturing him, I wouldn't have interrupted. Please, continue. I'll wait until you're finished." Holtz confirms that Lilah is a lawyer, and explains that he deals in God's laws, not man's. Lilah identifies Holtz as "a good guy." Holtz blinks, and asks if Lilah knows what Angel is. Lilah dutifully goes over the background: "Vampire, cursed by gypsies who restored his soul, destined to atone for centuries of evil, wacky sidekicks, yada yada." Heh. I like Lilah more and more. Although she does lose a few points for making airquotes when she tells Holtz that she'd have had Angel killed ages ago if only Wolfram & Hart didn't have a "policy" against doing so. Holtz turns to Angel and asks, "What does she mean, cursed by gypsies?" Angel assures Holtz that he wouldn't be interested. Again, I respect the fact that Angel isn't shouting, "I have a soul! We're on the same side! Let's be best friends!" Lilah begins to back away, and offers to come back after Holtz is done with Angel. She also helpfully explains that she just needs to arrange for the bodies to be cleaned up, in case anyone wondered why on earth she went to the hotel in the first place. See, it's not hard to add a line in here and there to explain people's behavior. That's all I ask, guys.
Meanwhile, Angel has noticed that one of the dead commandos by his feet is holding a grenade. Holtz tells Lilah that he can't let her leave, because she works for the law. Lilah reassures him, "I said I'm a lawyer. I don't care about the law." Angel works a foot under the commando's hand and says, "Lilah? Duck." Angel kicks the grenade up so that he can grab the pin in his teeth, and starts shaking his head like a big dog worrying a bone. Heh. The grenade falls to the floor as Angel still holds the pin in his mouth. I thought you had to lift up the lever to finish arming a grenade. Oh well: kaboom! Angel is blown back by the force, and the iron pincer-thingies holding him are wrenched out of the demons' hands. Because grenades don't hurt vampires, which I'd accept if I hadn't just recently watched an old episode of Buffy in which some goofy-looking guy used a grenade to dispatch several vampires. Oops. Um, maybe Angel habitually wears chain-mail under his clothes. It works for Greyshirt. When the smoke clears, there's an Angel-shaped hole in the elevator doors. Okay, that's just a bit silly. I mean, a hole, fine, but the outline is a bit much. Besides, the part where his head went isn't big enough. Holtz runs over and looks down the empty elevator shaft. Hey, where's the actual elevator? And how deep does the elevator shaft go, anyway? We see the cables running down into blackness, which makes me think it goes a ways. What's down there? Holtz orders his demons to search the grounds, then returns to Lilah. He tells her that the men she sent were brave, but that he won't let anybody else kill Angel. Lilah explains, "They weren't sent for Angel. This was meant to be a party for his girlfriend." On his way out the door, Holtz stops dead and asks, "You know of Darla?" He asks if the gypsies cursed Darla with a soul as well. Lilah answers, "No, she's free-range evil." Holtz nods and heads back to the chase as Lilah mentions that if he catches Darla, maybe the two of them can do business. Holtz says, "The only business I have with Darla is to send her back to the hell that made her." Lilah considers explaining that Wolfram & Hart is the hell that (re)made her, so that works out fine, but decides that the entire situation is way too complicated to bother about. As Holtz leaves, she pulls out a cell phone and says, "Harvey? It's Lilah. I got a job for you." Isn't Pulp Fiction humor a little dated at this point? Oh well, at least it's not another O.J. Simpson joke. While explaining that she needs the "full cleaner service," Lilah notices a fragment of the Nyazian scroll from the front desk. After finishing her call, she grabs up the scroll-bits and some other papers and hurries off.
Back in the alley, Darla's still muttering to herself. What is she saying and why? We'll never know. It's just important that we know she's acting odd. I'm not sure why that's important, either, actually. How come they over-explain the things that are obvious, and never explain the things that don't make any sense? The MoG are fighting the demons, shouting things like, "Keep them away from the car!" Because as we've repeatedly seen, Darla is incapable of defending herself. The fight goes on a while, and eventually Darla gets bored by the stupidity, climbs into the front seat, and starts the car. Except that sometimes, when we cut away to the fight, she's still in the back seat. She drives forward, knocking down two demons, then reverses to hit a third. The MoG run up to the car, and Darla drives off without them. We can't hear her say, "I think I can manage without you imbeciles helping me," but I'm sure she did. The MoG stare after her as a slightly singed Angel hurries up. He diligently stares in the same direction and asks, "What are we lookin' at?" He's doing Xander imitations again.
When we return from commercials, Angel is telling the MoG that Holtz has reappeared. We have now entered the second half, and this is when things pretty much go to hell. Because Fred is suddenly possessed by a magical spirit I'm going to call "Tim Minear." See, Fred gets this monologue in which she speculates that Holtz is part of the Tro-clon prophecy, and that Holtz will kill Angel's baby, which will somehow trigger Very Bad Things, and this is why the term "authorial intrusion" was invented. If you don't trust your audience to have figured that out that possibility by now, the least you can do is avoid having some diminutive ditz spell it all out. Make it a conversation, not a lecture. Particularly when Angel already guessed that Holtz was connected to the prophecy, so why are we listening to this again? After that narrative intrusion has ended, Angel insists that he can find Darla faster by himself, and asks the MoG just to find a safe place for Darla to give birth. "We'll come to you," he says. I assume they all took their phones with them, then. Or Angel can just sense where everybody is. Hey, Gunn's holding a sharpened baseball bat. It's not as cool as his axe, but it's nice. As Angel heads out, Cordy is forced by the cliché-filled alley to call him back and say, "Be careful." Argh.
Blip to Wolfram & Hart. Lilah has found a translator to examine the Nyazian scroll-bits she found. She also grabbed Wesley's notes, and passes them on to the translator. The translator starts feeling worrying that someone is competing for his office, but Lilah reassures him while I yawn. Lilah points to the scroll and says, "I've highlighted the section they seemed to be concentrating on." The translator looks up and her and asks if she really highlighted an ancient scroll. "In yellow," Lilah says defensively. The translator looks over the text (which is, indeed, highlighted, heh) and says it mentions a birth. Lilah tells him to finish the translation by morning or she'll have his family killed.
Holtz is miffed that Sahjhan didn't mention Angel's resouling. Sahjhan insists that it doesn't matter: "So he's got a soul, big whoop! So did Attila the Hun!" Point. Holtz says that Angel isn't the same now. Sahjhan counters, "His hair's a little shorter, a little spikier. He's using product. But it's the same guy." Sahjhan says that whatever moral qualms Holtz may have about Angel's soul shouldn't keep him from fulfilling his part of the bargain. Holtz finally explains that he doesn't have any problems with the situation. In fact, he's happy to know that Angel now has a soul that will suffer; he's just miffed that he didn't know all the facts. Sahjhan, pleased that Holtz isn't wussing out of the deal, apologizes. Holtz asks whether Sahjhan has been holding back any other information, and Sahjhan thinks for a moment and lies, "No, nothing I can think of." Because Holtz might care about the baby? Seems unlikely, honestly.
Cut to Darla, who's checking out the city from a convenient rooftop. Angel has magically tracked her down, and as he approaches he says, "You always did love a view." Argh! Shut up about the views! This all started with "Darla," of course, and my favorite thing about Darla's supposed fondness for views is that she's never expressed any feelings on the matter. It's always Angel saying, "Darla just looooves views." I'll bet that at some point Darla made an offhand remark admiring the view, and Angel decided that she had some incredible love for scenery, and she never had the heart to correct him, even though after two hundred years she's getting pretty tired of just nodding and saying, "Yeah, views, great, whatever." It's like the time a friend of mine decided that I hated all Chinese food because there was one evening when I wasn't in the mood for it. For years I kept having to explain that no, I just didn't want Chinese food that day. Where was I? Oh yeah: Darla says, "This world, this horrible world. Why would anyone want to bring a baby into it?" I can't believe I just typed that. Have I accidentally recorded some daytime soap? Sigh. Angel comments that she doesn't have much choice at this point. Darla starts stammering about why she doesn't want to have the baby, and Angel somehow deduces that she loves the baby. And then there's a dramatic shot of Darla admitting, "Completely." By "dramatic," I mean that her face is almost entirely in shadow, so if she somehow managed to convey some kind of revelatory emotion, we'll never know, because we can't see her expression. Darla burbles that she's never loved anything before, and Angel says she'll have it, "and then..." Darla asks, "What? We'll raise it?" Angel actually asks, "Why not?" and I'm not going to bother listing all the reasons because I'm sure you've all shouted out your own answers. Then the final level of ridiculousness is reached when Darla explains that her feelings are being generated by the baby, because it has a soul. Yeah, I know. Let's walk through this together. Darla says, "I don't have a soul. It does, and right now that soul is inside of me, but soon it won't be, and then I won't be able to love it. I won't even be able to remember that I loved it!" Darla sobs against Angel's giant chest while he helpfully suggests, "Shhhh."
I think the "shh" is directed at me, because that's when I started screaming at the television. If I understand this correctly, Darla is being affected by the soul which is inside the baby which is inside her. This is the Russian nesting doll school of philosophy? So, presumably, if a big demon swallowed someone whole, then while the human was still alive in the demon's stomach, the demon would be affected by the soul? Plus, I'm having some trouble with the idea that Darla only loves the baby because of this soul's piggy-back effects, and that she never loved anything before. Gee, what word would you use to describe her feelings for Angel? Or is that just the wacky vampire-style love, like the kind between Spike and Dru, or James and Elizabeth, and it's not "real" love. Because if that's the case, maybe someone should have mentioned it before now. item: after losing his soul, Angelus sure seemed to remember how he felt about Buffy. So why does Darla think she won't remember loving her child? There is no part of Darla's dilemma that makes any sense, or seems consistent with what we know about vampires' emotions. Other than that, though, it's great. Oh, except for the terrible dialogue and the bad lighting. Who thought the characters should be backlit for a dramatic monologue? Wait, I bet I can guess. "Hey, Joss? I'm going to give Darla this rather dubious character-altering experience, and she's going to have a big speech where she reveals some incredible emotions." "Good idea, Tim. I recommend that you hide Julie Benz's face as much as possible during that scene, particularly her eyes." "Thanks for the tip! Gee, why don't we get any Emmys?" "It's a mystery. At least I've locked up a few 'Variety or Music' nominations for year, because there's no real competition in those categories." "That's what makes you a genius, Joss!"
While Cary bustles to prepare Caritas for a grand re-opening, the MoG ask if Darla can come have the baby there. Cary reluctantly agrees, and then checks with a demon called Arney to find out if he's almost done with his work on the security system. Arney appears to be doing some kind of electronics work, which, Cary explains, "routes the new sanctuary spells together to prevent both human and demon violence." So the magic spells need wiring now? Whatever, I don't care any more. Then, because Arney was humming while he worked, Cary determines that Arney is planning to milk the job for more money, and throws Arney out.
Still on the rooftop, Darla asks Angel if he'll protect the baby from her once it's born. Angel doesn't answer, which amuses me. Then Wesley calls, and tells Angel that they've found a sanctuary for Darla. Behind Wesley, Cary is trying to fix the security system. They test the set-up by having Fred slap Gunn. She does so without any magic effects. Cary keeps trying. Why can't Gunn slap Fred? I'd be much more amused by that.
Angel tells Darla that they should go, because he "can feel a storm coming." Darla doesn't ask if he means literally or metaphorically because she's too busy groaning. Angel asks if she's feeling a contraction, but Darla says "it's something else." Maybe it's the storm. Johanna says it would be funny if Angel could feel a storm approaching because his bum knee was acting up.
Blipvert. Lilah returns to the translator at Wolfram & Hart, who enthuses about how helpful Wesley's notes were in understanding the scroll. Lilah tries to move things toward some kind of point, and asks what the scroll says about the birth. The translator says it doesn't. "You said it did," she points out. "Yes, I did say it did," he admits. "But it doesn't?" she asks. "In a way," he hedges. Lilah notes, "I have a gun." Man, I wish I did. He finally reads the scroll: "For surely, in that time when the sky opens and the heavens weep, there will be no birth, only death." I wonder if it says anything about the recapper cursing, or Shakespeare performing a pirouette in his grave.
After the commercials, we're back in flashback-land. It's dawn now, and Holtz is sitting calmly as a couple of his Merry Men return. One suggests that it's time for Holtz to leave, and that the death of his family is "the devil's work." Holtz says, "Not the devil. Just a demon." Sarah's doll is lying on the floor in a patch of sunlight, and the camera pans up to show Caroline's body, and Sarah cowering in a dark corner across the room. "What are we going to do?" one of the men asks. Holtz stands up and intones, "Whatever we have to," as he walks over to his daughter. He picks her up, and Sarah begins wailing, "Papa, please no! Let me go!" He carries her outside, and she almost escapes for a moment before he grabs her again and throws her out into the sunlight. She looks back at him with a vamp-face, and then bursts into flames. Holtz stares a moment and then walks straight into a blipvert. Don't you think that scene would have been a lot more revealing and exciting if the characters had made dramatic speeches? Me neither.
Lightning flashes, in case we're having trouble interpreting that bit in the prophecy about heaven weeping. Cary keeps fussing with the wiring; Cordy swats Gunn, nothing happens. Angel helps Darla down the stairs into Caritas. Darla weirds everyone out by thanking them for their help, and apologizing for running off. Meanwhile, Wesley asks Angel how she's doing, and determines that she hasn't had any contractions for the past hour. Wesley thinks that's odd. Then Darla winces again, and everyone helps her into Cary's bedroom. And then she can attack Cordelia again! Well, she might as well; they've spent the past two episodes running in circles. Fred lingers behind and notices that there's blood on the chair Darla was using.
Sahjhan tells Holtz that they've found Angel. It turns out that Arney is a narc. Arney asks if Sahjhan will pay for the information, adding, "I've got mouths to feed. And a family. Some of them have mouths, too." Heh. Then Arney does this ventriloquism thing where his eyes glow and other people's voices come out of his mouth, and I don't know why that's better than having him just say, "They're all at Caritas." I mean, it's not like Holtz is going to recognize Cary's voice.
After Darla is tucked into Cary's bed, everyone returns to the main room. Wesley tells Angel that the baby is dying. He adds that Darla's body may not be "equipped to do what it needs to do in order to bring a baby to term." So her body managed the first eight months and twenty-odd days just fine, but the last few hours are just too much? Cordy asks if they can do a C-section. Fred says, "Normally that's exactly what we'd do," because she and her pals give C-sections all the time, but that darn "mystical force" won't let them slice into Darla. Angel observes that none of this makes sense, and boy do I feel his pain on that one. He says, "This whole thing has been a miracle, right? You don't just get half a miracle!" You mean like being resouled, but not being able to be happy? Yeah, that's crazy talk. Gunn reminds Angel that maybe the baby is the bad kind of miracle: "What if what's happening to Darla now, what if that's The Powers [That Be] finally stepping up to the plate and doin' something for once?" Angel sniffs, "How? By killing my kid?" and stomps off. Boy, that sure was a good point that Gunn made. Pity nobody has any response to it. Oh, except that Cordy swats him for being "so damned honest," and her swat is deflected by the finally functional security system. Whoopie. Or maybe it's now an irony detector, because things have come to pretty pass when Cordelia criticizes someone for being too honest.
Angel sits by Darla and they take turns imitating plywood at each other for a while before Darla finally asks if the baby is dying. Angel tells her that she has to fight for the baby's life, and I can't blame Darla for saying, "I don't know how," because that is a pretty vague instruction. Darla strokes her belly and mutters, "My boy, my darling boy." Between this and the stuff about Darla's fondness for views, I'm starting to wonder if cute yet meaningless references to episodes are supposed to be a passable substitute for character growth.
Gunn wonders if he should go apologize to Angel for his nasty habit of pointing out the obvious, but Wesley dissuades him. Cordy says that Darla and Angel need some time alone. Fred, still speaking for the writer, mutters, "This isn't going to end well, is it?" We. Freaking. Get. It. Cary prepares to make drinks for everyone as Holtz wanders in. Cary, time you install a security system, you might want to look into a little something we humans call a deadbolt. Cary assumes that Holtz is just a potential customer, and gives him a flyer about the grand re-opening. Holtz thanks Cary and heads back upstairs as he quietly sings the lullaby again. Because...oh, I don't know why. Cary hums along as he pours drinks, then suddenly stops and tells everyone to run. Confused, the MoG follow him. A barrel rolls down the stairs and settles by the metal detectors. A grenade follows, and a moment later Caritas goes boom. A simple door with a functional lock would have prevented so much silliness.
Cary and the MoG rush into the bedroom while Caritas merrily burns away. Cary explains the problem to Angel: "It's a thing with the door and the stairs and the world and the thing." And the inability to lock the front door -- don't forget that. Angel somehow knows that Holtz is behind the explosion, despite the vampire cults and mad scientists that were also interested in Darla. Darla's surprised to hear that Holtz is around, but not as surprised as you'd think. They move Darla and the bed as Cary explains that he plastered over a loading-dock doorway when creating his little apartment. Lucky thing. Gunn and Wesley start pounding through the wall with Cary's knickknacks while Angel and Darla reminisce about the bad old days. Darla says, "His family, his children -- what that must have been like for him. Doesn't seem so funny now, does it?" Aw, Darla's losing her joie de mort. Wesley points out that Angel's missing the opportunity to smash through a door, and Angel joins the wall-smashing brigade. Meanwhile, Holtz takes a super-slow ultra-dramatic walk through the blazing club. It's a good thing he's too busy savoring the moment to walk a little faster, or he'd catch them all in the bedroom.
But he doesn't, so they all end up escaping into the rainy alley behind Caritas, which looks remarkably like the alley they were in at the beginning of this episode. They should have just stayed there and saved us all a lot of time. Darla starts whining that she can't go any further, whine, snivel, sob. Angel sends the others to go get the Angelmobile. Which is parked in front of Caritas. Where, one would think, Holtz left some minions waiting, because as far as he knows, that's the only exit from the place. Gunn, Wesley, Cordy, and Cary run down the alley. Cary holds a piece of cardboard over his head to keep off the rain. Heh. Presumably they all get into a big exciting fight with the demons out front, and that's why it takes them a while to return with the car. Fred starts to go with them, but then stops and watches as Angel helpfully lowers Darla into a comfy puddle in the filthy street, because he is gallant that way. Angel takes his coat off and hands it to...Fred. Even assuming it's helpful to offer your coat to someone who's already drenched, maybe the pathetic vampire on the ground is a little more deserving than stupid Fred. Angel unconvincingly tells Darla that she'll be okay. Darla starts whining again, saying, "Once he's gone, I won't be okay. I won't be okay at all. I don't know what I'll be. Angel, our baby is gonna die right here in this alley." Then she remembers that Angel died in an alley, too. Frankly, with the amount of time these people spend in alleys, there are bound to be some coincidences like that. Darla says that she can't really apologize, and then gets going on all the terrible things she and Angel did. She says, "We can't make up for any of it -- you know that, don't you?" Why does she want to? I think this stupid baby with its stupid soul is determined to make everybody as whiny as Angel is. And then Darla actually has to say, "This child -- it's the one good thing we ever did together." Well, maybe you should find out whether it's evil before you say that, Darla. Angel holds Darla's hand to his mouth to keep from giggling at the insane levels of melodrama that have been inserted into this silly little fantasy show. Fred kneels nearby, not even bothering to keep poor Darla's head off the ground, because she's too busy looking saintly to bother acting saintly. Darla looks around and reaches out one hand as she tells Angel, "You make sure to tell him that." So she wants Angel to sit down with the kid and say, "Hey, I wanted you to know that your mom and I were responsible for all sorts of unspeakable evil. But you broke our streak!" This kid is going to need so much therapy. And then, having fulfilled her womanly role by playing whore, maiden, and now mother, Darla grabs a handy chunk of wood and stakes herself. There's a nice FX-free shot as Angel suddenly finds himself grasping a handful of dust instead of her hand. And then they look down at the baby, lying on the in the mud that was his mom. Angel just stares at it, and you can't really blame him. What a weird day he's had. Well, that sucks. The only promising aspect of this pregnancy was the prospect of seeing Darla rearing her very own hellspawn.
Even though Darla's exit speech feels as if it went on for about half an hour, Holtz is still enjoying his slow-motion parade through Caritas. The soundtrack goes crazy with menace as he marches through the fire, crossbow in hand. It's very cool-looking and all, but he's taking way too long to walk through the bar. Angel is finally picking up the baby as Holtz finds the hole in the wall and steps out into the alley. The soundtrack makes Wagner seem subtle. Fred helps Angel wrap the crying baby in Angel's jacket as Holtz raises his crossbow. Angel finally notices Holtz, and they all stare at each other for a really long time. A couple of Holtz's demon pals appear at either end of the alley. Angel looks at the baby. God, I hate babies. The Angelmobile pulls up and Wesley steps out and looks toward the alley. I'm not sure if he can't see what's happening, or just doesn't care. It'd be funny if they couldn't see through the rain, and started honking the horn all, "Angel! Yo! Get a move on!" But that might ruin the dramatic tension created by the nothing that's happening. Angel and Holtz have seriously been staring at each other for nearly a minute at this point. Holtz finally lowers his crossbow. Angel and Fred nervously walk past Holtz and the demons, and over to the car. Sahjhan, who has somehow has popped up behind Holtz, shouts, "You can't just let him walk away -- not now! Not after what you swore to me!" Dude, don't have a conniption fit. Holtz watches the Angelmobile drive away and says, "I swore that I would show no mercy. And I won't." Yeah, but what about mercy for the audience? I think we're coming up short there, too. Time for a final flourish to the soundtrack.
Oh, and the baby's name? Even before Darla nobly sacrificed herself for the kid, I thought it was obvious: his name's just gotta be Don. We already knew that Angel likes using his ki, right? It all makes sense now.