Epiphany

S02E16

Props to Dino Fekaris and Freddie Perren, and also to Cake, since their version was especially appropriate.

The WB went for an mondo-extended "previously on Angel" sequence with an extremely serious announcer, and I took it for an ad rather than the official "previously on" intro, so I didn't tape it. Alas and alack, that means I'll have to make up my own version. I think it goes something like this: When Angel was given a soul, first he was afraid, and petrified. He thought he couldn't live without Darla by his side. Then he spent some time thinking about how she, and everyone else he'd ever met, had done him wrong, and he grew strong, and learned how to get along. Then Darla came back from, well, it's not clear if it was heaven or hell or outer space, and Angel walked into his room to find her there with a certain look upon her face. He should have changed that stupid lock. Since he didn't, however, there's no option but crazy violent vamp sex.

The teaser starts by repeating the ending of last week's episode. I don't see any reason why I can't do the same thing, so: a storm brews outside. Lightning, thunder, gauzy curtains billowing in the wind. You know the drill. We pan across the discarded coat, scattered books, and Darla's dress, to the bed. Where Angel and Darla are sleeping. Angel's feet are uncovered. I can never sleep like that. Thunder cracks, and Angel suddenly bolts upright, grimacing in pain. He looks up, and then, instead of the screen going black, we cut to a view of his balcony. Whilst stumbling out into the thunderstorm, apparently disoriented and freaked out, Angel did take the time to put on pants, and he's struggling into a shirt as he collapses on the balcony. He's clearly not evil, or he would have left his shirt off in order to torture me. Lightning flashes. Darla wakes up and is instantly smug as she gets out of bed. Angel is still gasping and panting when Darla, a sheet wrapped around her, appears behind him and says, "Don't fight it, my love. Just let it happen. It'll only hurt for a minute." More grimacing, more storm, credits.

Thank goodness, Angel's still gasping when we return. I wouldn't want to miss a second of this. He also says, "Oh, God," occasionally. Darla offers reassuring words about how she knows how he feels. Angel finally stands up and faces her, and Darla says he needs a fresh kill to ease the transition. She raises her hand toward him and Angel grabs her wrist and stares at her wonderingly. He finally says, "You saved me." Darla confesses that she planned to kill him, but it turned out she didn't have to. Angel, still stupefied, if that doesn't go without saying, says, "I gave you everything I had left." Darla agrees, and Angel adds, "I'm so sorry." Darla dismisses that, but Angel puts her hand to his cheek and insists, "But I am. I am sorry." Darla looks horrified. Angel continues, "You saved me. I'm sorry I couldn't do the same for you." That looks so awkward with him still pressing her palm to his jaw as he talks. She backs away, gasps, "You still have a soul!" and heads back to the bedroom, with Angel following.

Darla looks at the bed and says, "But we..." Angel says, "Yeah." As Angel sits on the bed and begins putting on shoes, Darla continues with, "And you..." "I know," he says. Darla leans down toward him and adds, "And I..." "Three times," Angel says, uncomfortably. Or maybe it's me that's uncomfortable. Well, he's, uh, diligent, I'll give him that. Or maybe Darla is humoring him. It's interesting that Darla lost her usual simpering for this scene. So it really is a big affectation. Darla stammers some more and finally asks, "Was I…was it...not good?" Angel doesn't answer. Darla refuses to accept that, saying, "Not only have I been around for 400 years, but I used to do this professionally! That was perfect!" She grabs his arm and pulls him back, insisting, "We'll go again!" Snicker. Angel pulls away and says, "You know we can't. We're finished." Darla indignantly insists that she didn't seduce Angel; he wanted to have sex with her. Angel agrees, "It was perfect, Darla. It was perfect despair." He tells Darla that she made him what he is, and he thought that if he saved her, he'd save himself. "But I was wrong, and when I failed --" Darla tells him to shut up, but he won't. "And when I failed, you saved me. And I have to thank you for that. There's nothing I can do for you now, Darla. I can't even hate you." Darla snivels, "You knew this would happen, didn't you? You made me trust you!" He did? When? Oh, she's just saying that to remind Angel that Kate made the same accusation. Angel tosses Darla's red dress onto the bed and says, "We're done. Let yourself out." Wow, at least call her a cab, dude. Darla, definitely a woman scorned, runs forward and grabs a shard of broken balsa from the remains of their sexcapades. She rushes Angel, demanding, "Where are you going?" Angel easily grabs her arm and says, "You did me a favor tonight. Now I'm gonna do one for you. Get dressed and get out. Because the time I see you, I will have to kill you." This is just like my last breakup. Okay, not really. So basically, he thinks Darla should go, walk out the door, and not come around again, since she's not welcome anymore. She is the one who tried to break him with desire, after all. Lightning, thunder, blipvert. The blipvert includes the shot of the Angelmobile going through a tunnel that we saw last week, along with a clapboard, and half of Boreanaz's grinning face.

So, what was with all the gasping and groaning and falling to the floor in pain? Is this how Angel always behaves after sex? Or does having an epiphany actually cause one to wake up in agonizing pain? Do thunderstorms just terrify him? Is there any possible explanation for it other than trying to keep the audience in suspense for a week? Anybody? I admit, I'm still attached to my theory that Angel was pretending to be de-souled for a while, just to mess with Darla's head a little more. Which would have been just as funny, because Angelus can be a laugh riot. And then the crazed flailing about would be explained as part of the con. However, I will grant that, while the switch from depressing &creepy to wacky bedroom morning-after humor could have been jarring, it works. I have to admire the fact that they set us up to expect terror or despair or ickiness of some sort, and gave us goofiness instead. So all of that's fine, just please, someone, give me a reasonable explanation for the "my soul is...still right here!" fake-out. Please?

Angel rushes to the door of Kate's apartment and starts pounding on it. Inside we see the empty bottles of pills and booze, and Kate lying unconscious. Angel breaks the door open and runs in. He stops short, as the audience goes, "Oh, she's dead, 'cause otherwise how could he get in?" Angel's first move is to take his coat off. Okay. He runs forward, checks Kate's pulse, and then we cut to him turning the shower on. Angel holds Kate under the spray of water, trying to drown her or something. Guess he took his coat off because he didn't want it to get wet. Although, wait, there's still a big thunderstorm outside. Kate finally begins gasping for breath. While we pan across a view of LA at night, let's consider another question I have. Angel got a phone call from Kate suggesting she was suicidal. He takes a little recreational break with Darla, then realizes Kate might need help. So he gets in his car and races to her apartment, knowing that if she's alive, he shouldn't be able to get in to help her. Still a nice effort, but maybe it would have been to a smarter idea to, oh, call 911? At least he could have arranged for some trained paramedics to meet him at the apartment, instead of relying on the healing properties of a nice shower. Just a thought.

Kate looks at herself in the bathroom mirror, then turns to face Angel, who's lurking in the doorway. She's probably admiring how darn healthy she looks. Remember the cool nigh-dead makeup job they gave Kate when Angel drank her blood in "The Shroud of Rahmon"? Maybe they should have used a little of that here, so that she'd look ill and not just damp. "Thanks," she says, not quite looking at Angel. She pauses, then adds, "Now get out," and walks past him. Angel considers saying, "Y'know, I came as fast as I could!" but then realizes how much snickering that would cause in the audience, and wisely decides to keep his mouth shut.

Lindsey arrives at his dark apartment and finds Darla there, staring out at the city. He closes the curtains and asks why she didn't answer when he called, and explains that there was an emergency meeting after the non-review. He's still not fired? Maybe everyone's glad they didn't have to face a review by the Senior Partner after all. Lindsey says, "The official order on you is to stake on sight," and he touches her arm in a way that suggests he has a stake of his own in mind for the job. Darla silently moves away and sits down, looking at the Band of Blacknil. He asks why she didn't tell him about her plan, and says that things are getting complicated. Oh, he's a clever lad. With no ulterior motive at all, he suggests moving her stuff into his bedroom so that it's out of sight. Because if any Wolfram & Hart people came by, they'd never think of looking in the bedroom. He finally notices the ring and takes it from her, asking where she got it. Darla shrugs and says, "What's the difference? It doesn't work, anyway." Lindsey explains that half of their meeting was spent on a "disenchanting ceremony," and again asks how Darla got the ring. She looks up and explains, "It was my payment." Lindsey indulges in some brief denial before figuring out what she means. Then he asks what happened, and Darla, full of melancholy, says, "Nothing at all." Lindsey says that he has to know, and Darla asks if he wants details. He growls, "Yes, I want details. I need to know everything, all of it. What did he do to you?" Darla's too depressed to burst out laughing at poor little Lindsey. We cut away before Darla starts explaining, "Well, see, Angel has two working hands, so..."

Caritas is closed, but someone's buzzing the doorbell. Doorbell? Okay. Cary grudgingly strolls out and pushes a button to unlock the door, saying, "I'm not deaf, you know. Jeez, keep your pants on." Enter Angel. Cary looks him over and says, "I can see we're a little late with that advice."

Cut to Angel, sitting at a table while Cary makes drinks at the bar. Angel says, "I probably should have killed her." As Cary wanders over with the drinks, he replies, "Kill her, give her cab fair -- whatever. Point is, you've turned a corner. Well, yeay, you! " Angel says he doesn't understand what happened, and presumably he means the grunting & wheezing bit, so he's not alone there. Cary replies, "What's not to understand? You think you're the first guy who ever rolled over, saw what was lying to him, and went 'Geeeyah!'" He goes on to explain that it was a moment of clarity, because the addiction metaphor has been underplayed lately. Angel says that he doesn't know how to "get back," and Cary says that Angel can't. Instead, he advises, "You go on to the new place. Whatever that is." Angel sadly says, "I don't know if I can. I've done things." Blade Runner fans everywhere chime in on the line: "Questionable things." Does this mean that Cary's name is really Tyrell? Cary concedes the point, but insists that Angel didn't kill the Wolfram & Hart lawyers. In fact, he says, "That was slated to happen with or without you. The Powers were just trying to work it so it'd be without you, that's all. You weren't much help in that department, were ya, sparky?" Heh. Sparky. Is Cary speaking with actual knowledge of what The Powers That Be want, or is he just guessing? Or is he just trying to make Angel feel better? If that's the goal, it doesn't work, since Angel gripes, "If they wanted me to stay away, why didn't they just tell me?" Cary takes a sterner tack, saying, "Would you have listened? Besides, what makes you think they didn't? Over and over and, as for example, over?" Still grumpy, Angel says, "Well, they could have been a little bit more specific!" Cary suggests that this is the kind of attitude that got Angel into his current mess. While Angel looks around sullenly, Cary says, "I think I speak for everyone when I say, if all you're going to do is switch back to brood mode, we'd rather have you evil. Then, at least...leather pants." Snicker, giggle, and hearty agreement. Angel decides against buying a new outfit and asks what The Powers That Be want him to do now. Cary asks, "Does it look like I'm hearing voices? 'Cause I'm not. I'm not your link with The Powers, Angel. I never was. You got rid of that when you fired your crew." He adds that it will be difficult for Angel to reunite with his sidekicks, "and there is a chance, a good chance, you won't be able to put this back together. It just, well, it depends, really." Angel sadly says, "On whether they'll even talk to me." Cary corrects him: "Actually it depends on whether they live through the night. And I gotta tell you, at the moment, the odds? Not good." Angel looks pretty calm about that news. But way down deep in his heart, he's probably thinking, "D'oh!"

By Strega

Suddenly, the door behind Wesley bursts open, and Wesley turns to see Angel. Trust Wesley to keep his back to the primary entrance. Angel desperately shouts, "Invite me in! I've never been here before, Wesley!" Wesley takes the time to snark, "Well. Perhaps if you'd shown a bit of interest..." Angel draws Wesley's attention to the Skilosh who chooses that moment to crash in through the window. Wesley shouts, "Yes! No! Absolutely! I invite you in! In, I invite you!" Angel rushes in and starts fighting as he asks what kind of demon it is. Wesley babbles that it's a Skilosh, and Angel spins Wesley around to face him and demands, "How do I kill him?" Wesley says there are a number of ways, and the Skilosh starts banging Angel into a wall. Angel isn't in the mood for options, and as another Skilosh suddenly grabs Wesley's throat, Wesley shouts, "Hack it to pieces!" Angel grabs an axe that's hanging on the wall and follows instructions. The Skilosh attacking Wesley is knocked away by a blow to the head, and lands behind a couch so that Angel can hack away without too much gore. There is a nice spray of greenish goo that splatters against the wall, though. Yuck. As the other Skilosh leaps at Wesley, he fires the rifle. More splattering goo, this time landing all over Wesley's face. Bits of plaster falls down from the ceiling, and Wesley looks up and says, "I can only pray Mrs. Starns wasn't at home." Angel and Wesley look at each other and have a quick moment of male-bonding-through-killing-things. Then Wesley looks away and sternly asks, "What are you doing here?"

Cut to Lindsey's apartment. Darla and Lindsey are sitting as far apart as they can, given that they're sharing a couch. This shot made me laugh so very much. We can see some of Darla's clothes on hangers in the background. Lindsey gets up, tears off his jacket, and pauses to loom over Darla and give her the "It's like I don't even know you any more" look. It's taking all the strength he has just not to fall apart. How can he try and mend the pieces of his broken heart? He opens a closet and pushes the camisoles and pink sweaters out of the way, and is that Darla's pink sweater? She doesn't seem like someone who'd wear pink. Anyway, Lindsey starts pulling his tie off, and for the first time I wonder how he manages tying a tie when he's got a plastic hand. Maybe that's why he wasn't wearing one in ""Blood Money" Now that doesn't bother me so much. Wow, I feel so much better. But still the dreams come. Right, so Lindsey bends down and looks into the back of the closet, finally pulling out a pair of cowboy boots. Maybe he's hoping the heels will make him look taller.

Quick blipvert of Angel and Wesley giggling in the Angelmobile. Then they're very serious. Then Darla is contemplative. Then real time resumes, and Angel and Wesley are neither giggling nor overly serious. But they are in the Angelmobile. Wesley's on his cell phone, listening to it ring as he tells Angel, "She's not picking up." Wesley puts the phone away, and Angel says Cordy wasn't home when he stopped by on his way to Wesley's. Angel awkwardly says, "So, I, uh, guess you're probably wondering why I'm, you know, back." Wesley says it hadn't occurred to him, even though earlier he asked what Angel was doing at his home. Wesley adds, "You're going to want to take a right turn shortly." Angel says that he knows where the MoG's office is. Wesley bitterly replies, "Oh, yes, of course, you did pop by. Stole a book."

Wesley grimaces as a pothole shakes the car, and Angel says he'll try to be more careful. After a moment, Angel tries to jump-start some conversation by saying, "Actually, it's kinda funny, I recently got a, uh, gut wound myself." Wesley stares as Angel continues being overly chipper. Angel's lack of social skills never stops amusing me. He goes on, "Not a gunshot, like you got there, but, uh...It was kind of a, uh, antique sword. Is what it was." Wesley stares straight ahead, expressionless. Angel adds, "It went deep. Yes it did." Still no response. Because it's such a funny story that Angel just can't resist continuing, he asks, "Hey, guess who stabbed me?" Wesley immediately intones, "Darla." Angel watches the Hindenburg of his conversational gambit burst into flames around him, and softly admits, "Yeah." But he gives it one more try, saying, "Actually, kind of a funny story, the whole reason I had this epiphany was..." We have a title!

Angel dries up as he glances at Wesley's stony face, and asks about the Skilosh demons. Wesley fills him in, referring to the MoG as "We, at Angel investigations," which is a stiff and mannered way of talking, even for Wesley. But it's just so that Angel can be surprised to hear that the MoG are using his name for their agency. Wesley snarks, "We're going to change it," and goes on to explain how he figured out that the girl was attacked by a Skilosh. Angel interrupts: "With your books!" He tries to suck up, "You were always so good with your books. Made it look so easy. No, it isn't." Yeah, all those words, all those pages to turn. All that thinking. I'm sure it's difficult for Angel. After awkward moment of silence number 47, Wesley shares some details about how Skilosh hatch out of human skulls. Angel confirms that the MoG saved the little girl who was brought to them. Wesley, not aware that the little girl died anyway, agrees. Hey, this just occurred to me: if the Skilosh are so desperate to reproduce, why'd they kill the Sharp family instead of using them as hosts, too? This episode still scores high on the fun-o-meter, but the lack of sense is starting to bug me. Yes, I have problems if I'm expecting any sense at all, given the premise, but that's not the point. So Angel says, "You did a good thing," and instead of saying, "Oh, really, we hadn't noticed, thank you so much for validating us!" Wesley simply says, "Thank you," as the plaintive horn of reconciliation tootles away in the background. Angel, pushing his luck even farther, says, "Welcome." Welcome to the blipvert, that is!

Cordelia watches as the Skilosh discuss the pros and cons of laser surgery. When she starts edging away, one of the Skilosh turns around and growls at her. Cordy nervously says, "I'm guessing 'Hey, look behind you!' [is] really not gonna work, is it?" The Skilosh says, "Two more have been destroyed." Cordy worries that Gunn and Wesley have been killed, then catches on and realizes that two of the Skilosh died. At first she's happy, then she pretends to sympathize with the Skilosh point of view. Skiloshian point of view? Skiloshoid (TM Crichton) point of view? The Skilosh hisses, "More must risssssssse!" and Cordy is pushed onto her knees by two other Skilosh. Cordy complains, "Listen, I was impregnated with demon spawn before, and let's just say, didn't really work out!" The lead Skilosh pokes out his three-pronged tongue at her. Cordy's pushed down, and the lead demon inserts his tongue into her skull as she screams in pain. I can't believe that this line from the shooting script was cut: "I just finally got my hair to where I really like it!" So I'll share it here, 'cause I thought something similar.

We pan over the door to "Angel Investigations -- The Generation." According to the sign, their hours are: Monday through Thursday, 10-6; Friday, 10-9; Saturday, 9-9; closed Sundays. At least, I think that's the MoG's hours. Maybe it's for a neighbor. Who knows? Who cares? Why did I mention it in the first place? So many questions. Wesley peers outside as Angel returns from a back room and declares that Cordy isn't there. Headlights illuminate Wesley briefly, and he comments, "That's the third time that truck's passed by." Angel speculates that Cordy might be out on a date, or with friends. Wesley doubts that, and Angel points out, "It's Friday night." He adds, "We are talking about the same Cordelia Chase, right?" Wesley says, "That's correct," in case we actually thought they might be talking about two different people with the same name. Is Wesley unfamiliar with the concept of rhetorical questions? Angel continues, "Knowing her..." and Wesley interrupts, "But you don't. For months now, you haven't cared to." Wesley says that Cordy has changed: "She's not the vain and carefree creature she once was. Well, certainly not carefree." Then Wesley has to beat the point into our skulls by talking about how the visions force Cordy to feel other people's pain, and so she has to try and help them, and has no time for shallow pursuits. He adds, "You'd have known that if you hadn't had your head firmly up your...place that isn't on top of your neck." Angel says that they need to find Cordy, and Wesley agrees, saying, "She could be in grave danger." Angel quietly says, "Even if she's not..." Then the soundtrack changes, and Angel realizes that this means something is about to come through the door. They turn off the lights and hide, and then someone enters, and there's meant to be suspense, but we all know it's just Gunn.

Which it is. Asked why he's there, he explains that he saw the lights were on as he passed by. He adds, "Besides, I work here." Wesley explains that he'd thought Gunn had gone, and Gunn replies, "Well, yeah, gone, but that doesn't mean I wasn't coming back." He looks at Angel and adds, "You didn't think I was gonna abandon you like this guy, did you?" There really is no reason for Gunn to be as bitter towards Angel as Wesley and Cordy are, and I don't buy it for a second. Gunn doesn't have the same history with Angel, plus he apparently treated his own Found Boys the same way. I can't even accept it as solidarity, since Gunn doesn't seem the type to go along with group-think. Whatever. Gunn says, "C'mon, English, you know you my man!" And then Gunn and Wesley do a big hand-slapping hip thingamabob. Angel finally speaks up to say, "So, uh, I see you guys have bonded." Gunn says that happens when you fight shoulder-to-shoulder, and Wesley chirps, "Or rather, hip-to-shoulder, these days." Gunn says that Wesley took a bullet for him. Wesley says it was no big deal, and the hand-slapping is repeated. Angel looks totally flummoxed. Wesley is just letting Angel see him suck up to someone new, showing him that he's not that stupid little person still in awe of Angel.

Finally, Gunn asks, "So, what's he doing here?" Wesley is dying to say, "He thought he'd just drop by, and he expects me to be free, but now I'm saving all my sycophantin' for someone who's nicer to me!" But he doesn't. Angel explains that Cary told him his friends were in danger. Gunn pointedly repeats his question, directing it to Wesley. Wesley smirks, "He had an epiphany." That's #2. Wesley explains about the Skilosh demons, and Angel interrupts: "I saved him!" Gunn ignores Angel and gets the story from Wesley. He also asks where Cordy is, and Wesley admits that they don't know. "You checked her pad?" Gunn asks, heading for the desk. Angel says, "I stopped there earlier." Gunn replies, "You enjoying your visit to 1973? I meant her message pad." Gunn is so tall. Wow. As Gunn flips through the message pad, Angel grabs a pencil and suggests that Gunn can rub it over the pad to discover what Cordy wrote on it. Gunn says, "Or we could just read the carbon." Heh. Poor Angel. But to be fair -- carbon? Speaking of 1973 -- who has pads with carbon paper? Gunn and Wesley figure out that the pad has directions to the Sharps' house. Gunn adds, "Looks like she wrote that down tonight." Um? This is the kind of carbon paper that comes with a time/date stamp? Sure. Wesley plans for the worst, and tells Gunn to grab the "deoculation powder." Angel tries to be the voice of reason, and asks, "Does it make sense that she would go there in the middle of the night without calling either one of you?" Wesley and Gunn chorus, "They owed us money." "Let's go!" Angel declares. Blipvert.

Cordy is curled up on the floor as she wakes up. Cordelia is spending a lot of this episode waking up, isn't she? She gets up and sees that there's a Skilosh behind her. And then she realizes that she can see the Skilosh that's behind her, and rushes for a mirror. Sure enough, there's an eye in the back of her head. Cordy looks grossed out, as well she should. It sounds dumb to say that Charisma Carpenter conveys "yuck!" well, but she does. I just can't say enough nice things about her acting. Just as I can't say enough nasty things about her outfits. It balances out, right?

Gunn and Wesley and Angel are in the Angelmobile. I noticed it in the scene with Wesley, too, but Angel has this habit of steering with one hand on the top of the wheel, plus he's constantly turning slightly to his left. It's as if all the streets in Los Angeles have a slight curve. Angel glances in the rear-view mirror and Wesley asks what's wrong. Angel unconvincingly says that it's nothing. Gunn says, "So, you had an epiphany, did you?" There's #3. Angel admits that he did, and Gunn asks, "So, what, you just wake up and bang?" Angel uncomfortably says, "Sorta the other way around." These are cheap, obvious jokes. I don't care, though, because they make me laugh. Gunn stares at Angel for a second, and it's unclear whether he understands Angel or not as he says it's good that Angel can have them. He continues, "Because, you know, epiphanies -- they handy. When you think you might be havin' another one?" I'm not gonna bother inserting "[sic]" into the stuff that Gunn says, or I'd be here all night. Oh and: #4. Gunn says, "You know, 'cause they could strike at any time. Could be it'll happen the time you run into one of them lawyers, you'll get all epiphanied-off right back at 'em." And, #5. Angel simply says, "No." Gunn is unconvinced, and concludes with, "I hope you don't go havin' another one 'fore we get to Cordelia. 'Cause if something happens to her, I mean, somethin' bad? I might just have me an epiphany." Right, because this situation is Angel's fault. Jeez. I hate it when I'm forced to defend Angel, but sheesh. Oh, and #6.

Luckily, the tension is defused when a Skilosh suddenly lands on the back of the Angelmobile and begins attacking Wesley. Where did it come from? Do the Skilosh have cars? Does this make sense? Oh, who cares? What I like about this scene is that Angel is completely calm as he drives on while Wesley and Gunn fight off the demon and throw it out of the car. He doesn't even look behind him. Once the Skilosh is in the street, Angel does brake to a stop, though. I half-expect him to say, "What's going on back there?" The Skilosh stands and several more rush out to join it in the street as Wesley encourages Angel to get a move on. Instead, Angel gets out of the car and says, "You guys go ahead." Because if he doesn't fight the Skilosh off, they could run really, really fast and catch up with his car. And it would be much harder to avoid them while in control of a large vehicle, so it makes perfect sense instead to choose to fight a whole pack of demons without any weapons. By the way, how did all the Skilosh know that this particular street was a good place for an ambush? Angel tries to explain (his decision, not the entire situation) by saying, "If we don't take them out, they'll flank us once we get to the house." Can they actually move as fast as a car can? If not, that statement is clearly false. And if the Skilosh can move that fast, why are they taking their sweet time approaching the car? I'm sorry, I'd like this to make sense, really, but this episode seems pretty determined to avoid sense wherever possible. Angel assures Gunn and Wesley that he'll meet them at the house, and off they go. Angel slowly walks toward the demons. He's holding a big axe that I guess he picked up at the MoG's office. Or maybe he keeps it in the Angelmobile. The Skilosh look at him, then suddenly scatter away. Angel turns around as a rusty old red Ford truck races up and plows into him. Oh, that Lindsey, with his jealous redneck rage.

Gunn looks into the Sharp house through a window as Wesley wheels up beside him. Gunn tells Wesley that the good news is Cordelia's alive. The bad news is, she's got three eyes. Wesley says, "The gestation may be nearly complete." So for the little girl, it took at least a day, but for Cordy it only takes a few hours? Okay. And when I say, "Okay," I mean, "Whatever, this episode has so many nonsensical things in it already that one more won't matter." For the record. Wesley wonders, "Where is he?"

He -- that is, Angel -- is getting plowed into by Lindsey's truck. Again. The Angelmobile drove off, the Skilosh ran away -- how much time did that take? Two minutes, maybe three? So why is Wesley wondering where Angel is, as if they've been waiting for hours? Fine, so Lindsey turns donuts around Angel, who hobbles toward the sidewalk to escape the terror of a tiny, jealous lawyer. Where has Lindsey been keeping this truck stashed? Was it in the closet, too?

It's been another minute, so Gunn & Wesley can wait no longer. They tell each other that they've done fine without Angel. Yeah, that's why Wesley's in a wheelchair: because they've done fine without Angel. Wesley declares that they won't sit idly by, and slowly, painfully, manages to stand up. Gunn agrees that it's time to rescue Cordy. Wesley says, "One more thing..." Gunn turns as Wesley declares, "I'm toppling over!" Gunn saves Wesley from the perils of physical non-comedy.

Lindsey's finished up the demolition derby with Angel, and now it's time for the fashion show. The truck screeches to a stop and Angel looks up from his strategic defensive position of "curled up in the street." Lindsey steps out of the truck in his boots, which he's coordinated with jeans, a wifebeater, and a plaid jacket. He's accessorized the ensemble with a trusty sledgehammer. Angel tries crawling away as Lindsey marches over to him. Lindsey insists, "You're gonna tell me everything. Everything you did with her. All of it. You're gonna tell me all of it." Each sentence is punctuated with a blow of the sledgehammer. Angel manages to groan, "Why?" A reasonable question. Lindsey explains, "'Cause I wanna hear it from you!" and then pounds the hammer into Angel's stomach. This is one of those guy things, I assume. Lindsey goes on pounding for a while, screaming, "Tell me!" Angel finally gasps, "No." At that, Lindsey gives up, goes back to his truck, and drives away. Not really. He goes back and reaches into the truck bed to grab a stake. He had the sledgehammer in the cab with him, but the stake was so darn bulky that he decided it would be better to keep it in the back. Where it stayed during all of his spinning and braking and crashing into Angel. Because stakes are heavy. Anyway, he picks up the stake and then turns to see that Angel is right to him. Angel says, "I'm sorry, Lindsey," and then punches him. Lindsey drops his weapons of minimal destruction, because now it's his turn to play punching bag. Angel goes about punching and kicking as he says, "I'm sorry she'll never love you, I'm sorry [that] you're gonna have to live with that. I'm sorry I didn't try harder to help you when you came to me. I'm sorry you made the wrong choice." Lindsey is knocked to the ground, and sees the stake lying nearby. He reaches out to pick it up with his plastic hand, as if he could. Or maybe that hand has stake-fu grip. We'll never know, because Angel swings the sledgehammer down and smashes Lindsey's hand into little bitty pieces. Apparently it was porcelain, not plastic, all this time. Angel drops the hammer and adds, "Coulda been the other one. Just be glad I had an epiphany." That's #7. Angel adds, "Mind if I borrow your truck?" and kicks Lindsey in the head.

Cordy is being guarded by two Skilosh. Suddenly Gunn pokes his head around a corner, and Cordy perkily says, "Gunn!" in order to alert the Skilosh to his presence. Then Wesley appears in a doorway behind her, and Cordy greets him just as happily. Ever the Luke Skywalker, Wesley explains, "We came to rescue you!" Cordy says she knew that they would. Gunn and Wesley are pushed into the room by two more Skilosh, and Gunn adds, "Then they caught us coming in the back door." The fact that they were already caught doesn't excuse Cordy for all but jumping up and shouting, "Hey, demon guys, look, there are the guys you're trying to kill!" Wesley inexplicably makes a sound like creaking lumber as he begins to topple over, but the Skilosh guarding him pulls him upright. "Thank you," Wesley says.

The Skilosh prepare to implant Gunn and Wesley with extra eyes. Young McDonald had a truck, E-I-E-I-O. And Angel crashes it into the room, E-I-E-I-O. With broken glass here and Skilosh there, here a bang, there a thud, everywhere a bang-thud. Lucky thing that the MoG weren't right by the window, though. Wouldn't that have been embarrassing for Angel? Angel jumps out of the truck and starts beating Skilosh, while Wesley and Gunn struggle to cut the ropes binding their wrists, since Cordelia has fallen unconscious for no readily apparent reason. More fighting, then Wesley begins sprinkling powder onto Cordy's third eye while chanting Latin. Cordy's extra eye fades away as she wakes up. Having finished with the demon-vanquishing, Angel hurries over to Cordy and holds her shoulders. Cordy says, "Angel, hi..." weakly, and Angel smiles -- yes, smiles! -- and says "Hi." He asks if she's okay, and Cordy groans, "No." The smile vanishes as Angel asks, "You're not?" Cordy looks at him and murmurs, "You really hurt my feelings," then struggles to her feet. Aw. Angel stands and watches forlornly as the MoG walk away from him.

Lindsey walks along the street to what I guess is his apartment building. His truck, complete with smashed windshield, sits at the curb. He pulls a note out from under the wiper and opens it. It reads, "Thanks." Lindsey goes inside and sees that all of Darla's stuff is gone. And some of his, I think. Unless Darla decorated the place with her own knick-knacks and stationary.

Angel and Kate sit in the courtyardy thing at the Hyperion. Kate says, "I feel like such an idiot." Angel says that there's a lot of that going around. Kate goes on about how her life was based on being a cop, although it looks as if now her life is based on applying as much eye shadow as possible. She says, "If I'm not a part of the force, it's like nothing I do means anything." Angel agrees that Kate's actions have no meaning. He says, "In the greater scheme, the big picture, nothing we do matters. There's no grand plan, no big win." Kate notes that Angel seems "chipper" about that fact. Angel says he worked it out, and that "if nothing we do matters...then all that matters is what we do." I wait for him to add, "What if the green I see isn't the same green that you see? Hey, do we have any snack food? Suddenly I'm really hungry." Maybe he has a concussion from all those sledgehammer blows. Angel explains, if that's the right word, "I fought for so long, for redemption, for a reward, and finally just to beat the other guy. I never got it." For redemption, for a reward, for revenge. See? Alliteration! That's what he should have said. Angel says that now he just wants to help people who are suffering, "Because, if there isn't any bigger meaning, then the smallest act of kindness is the greatest thing in the world." Is Angel gonna start rescuing kittens from trees now, 'cause if even small acts of kindness are great, why bother with the really hard acts of kindness that might result in your death? Just asking. Kate says it sounds like Angel had an epiphany. That's #8. Angel agrees, "I keep saying that, but nobody's listening." Kate has her own deep thoughts. She says she's grateful for Angel's help, and adds, "I don't know what I believe, but I...have faith. I think maybe we're not alone in this." Angel asks what she means, and Kate clumsily tries to plaster over the plot hole by saying, "Because I never invited you in." Dun dun DUUUUUN!

By Strega

At the MoG office, the phone rings. Is that someone from Sunnydale calling? Wesley, sitting right by the phone, picks up a pad and hands it to Cordy as she walks over to answer it. The hell? Wesley can't answer the damn phone? Cordy is wearing a ruffly blouse with stripes that bend at right angles, and I think it's designed to hypnotize enemies. Cordy is going through her "We help the helpless" spiel when the door opens and Angel walks in. Gunn wanders out from the back room as Cordy quickly says, "The check is in the mail," and hangs up. Angel squirms for a few seconds and then says, "I'm sorry." Wesley has recovered enough to use a cane now, so instead of Wesley the Wheeled One, I guess he's just Wesley the Tripod. He stands and hobbles toward Angel before declaring, "We've all discussed it and none of us are ready just yet to --" Angel interrupts by saying, "I don't want you to come back and work for me." Wesley calmly says, "I see." Angel says, "I want to work for you." The MoG are taken aback, and Angel explains, "'Cause I think I can help." Cordy sternly asks, "How do we know we can trust you?" Angel continues staring at Wesley as he says, "I guess I'll just have to earn that." Cordy says, "No." Gunn and Wesley look at her, a bit surprised. She repeats, "No!" only clutching her head this time so we know it's them darn visions again. Blurry demon-vert. Cordy recovers and barks, "The usual big scary. Rising up in a housing project in Topanga. And -- why is it that I'm not on the floor this time?" The camera pulls back to reveal that Angel is behind her, holding her up. "I've got you," he explains. Cordy looks around at Angel, then turns back to Wesley and says, "Maybe he should drive?" Well, yeah, maybe, since the car belongs to him. Wesley smirkingly says, "Let's go," and they all head for the door as we fade out.