A big shout-out to Joe Bob, who I'm not stalking at all, and props to MisterAlex. Props also to Tim Minear and Shawn Ryan, for giving me such a good episode of Angel as a Christmas present.
Previously on Angel, Angel bit Kate, and Drusilla bit Darla. Wesley just bit.
Gunn hauls Angel into the Hyperion, shouting for help. Wesley and Cordelia come out, and Angel is deposited on the sofa where he babbles that there's no time. He's dazed and confused, and I don't blame him. Anyone would feel dizzy looking at Cordy's shirt, which reminds me of those pink cupcake wrappers with little colored specks that your mom used when she made treats for your first-grade class on your birthday. She (Cordy, not your mom) is also wearing purple pants. Her hair is the crowning touch to her Lovecraftian look. And then there's Wesley's plaid sweater, in varying shades of ugly. Gunn explains that Angel called him from Darla's motel room. Or maybe, if you believe the captioning, he says that Angel was coming from the motel. "Calling" makes more sense, though, so I'm going with that. Gunn skips lightly over the fact that he "managed to get [Angel] to the truck without [Angel's] bursting into flames." Angel's more incoherent than usual, so it takes a while, but they finally understand that Drusilla has worked that old vamp magic on Darla. Cordy and Wesley are horrified, while Gunn, who seems to be trapped in the unpleasant role of "voice of the new viewer," wants to know who Drusilla is. Angel starts rummaging about in his office. "I have to find her," he says as he peers inside a credenza. Gunn says, "She probably ain't in there," showing that he moonlights as "voice of the recapper." Angel insists that he can save Darla. Wesley suggests that it might be a little late for Darla-saving, since "come nightfall she will rise again." Angel finally finishes his credenza-peering (which is illegal in nineteen states, by the way), pulls out a stake, and explains, "I can save her from that." Does it still count as "saving" at that point? If so, maybe Buffy should rethink her job description. "Buffy the Former-Human-Being Saver" isn't quite as catchy, though.
After the credits, Gunn goes over the tangled story so far, checking his facts: "Drusilla goes and bites Darla, makin' her a vampire again." Wesley sits back from the iBook to say, "That's the cosmological upshot, yes." "Cosmological"? Turns out that Gunn's just taking a labored route to get to the "Darla's her own grandma" punchline. Well, that was worth our time. Angel wanders in and pulls a beaker of blood out of the fridge. He's gone totally off the coffee, I take it. Wesley tells Angel that sunset was six minutes ago, and sunrise will be at 6:15 AM. He went online for that? Someone as bookish as Wesley doesn't have an almanac? ["Even I have an almanac, and I never go outside, either." -- Wing Chun] Anyway, Angel is super-helpful when he observes, "It could happen any time before then." Cordelia, still dressed as a Barbie from the 1960s, says that, according to a secretary, Lindsey is in a meeting. Angel pulls on his coat, dismisses the idea that Lindsey is at the Wolfram & Hart building, and declares that he's headed for Lindsey's apartment. The MoG want to tag along, but Angel's having none of that. Cordy points out that Angel can't get into Lindsey's apartment uninvited. Angel huffily responds, "He already invited me in once. This time when I kick that door down, I go through it. Alone." He stomps away, leaving the MoG looking like a poster for non-fashion victims.
True to his word, Angel kicks in the door to Lindsey's apartment. And he goes through it very alone, since the apartment is empty. No Lindsey, no furniture, no girly knick-knacks, nada. A plot contrivance appears at the door to tell Angel that the open house isn't until Saturday. She seems pretty calm about the B&E. Angel asks whether Lindsey left a forwarding address, explaining that there's this "mutual friend in need of some immediate medical attention." Ms. Contrivance doesn't have any information, but as Angel turns to leave she asks, "This is about the cousin, isn't it?" She describes the cousin as a "sweet but very odd English girl." Angel gets interested, and Ms. Contrivance says that Drusilla (a.k.a. Lindsey's cousin) was excited about "getting the nursery ready for the birth." While she babbles on helpfully, Angel mutters, "Of course, she would want the ritual." Suddenly there's a vampire birth ritual? On the other hand, it's Drusilla. It could be something she made up. Okay, fine, there's a "ritual." Ms. Contrivance concludes, "She insisted that her daughter would be born near the stars," and then goes on about how difficult stargazing can be in Los Angeles. Although a friend of mine was just out in L.A. and saw Minnie Driver sucking on someone's tonsils, so what does Ms. Contrivance know?
Blipvert of Ms. Contrivance in an ungainly pose, greenhouse, and Angel's shoulder. Drusilla looks up at the stars from a penthouse-slash-greenhouse and mutters, "I can 'ear them singin' to me." Yes, and you renamed them, and you're wacky and crazy and vision-y and all that. We know. She turns around, and she and Lindsey the boy-toy stare at Darla, lying in a flower bed. Apparently someone took the time to change Darla's outfit, because she's now wearing a Gothic white nightie with a plunging neckline. I'm guessing Lindsey picked that out; he seems the type to have a major Madonna/whore complex. As Dru chatters away at Darla's body, Lindsey asks, "Can she hear you?" Dru turns sharply and slowly explains, "She's. Dead." Heh. Lindsey makes, "Oh, right," noises and Dru adds, "Shhh! Just for now." Lilah wanders in, eyes Darla, and cattily asks Lindsey, "Think maybe now you've got a shot with her?" Lindsey's just straight-man to the world, isn't he? Then Holland enters, and plays "humor the crazy vampire" with Drusilla for a while. He tells her to speak up if she needs anything, then explains that they have a prior engagement, so Dru will have to play midwife all by herself. Lindsey wants to stay, but Holland insists that "this is a family matter." Exeunt the lawyers, while Drusilla chants, "Run and catch, run and catch, the lamb is caught in the blackberry patch." Aw, just like Drusilla's mom used to sing to her. So, Dru totally made up this ritual, I take it.
Back at the hotel, Cordelia pulls out a list of local cemeteries, funeral homes, and mausoleums. Angel says that Drusilla would want to "put the body in the ground." Wesley says that burial isn't necessary, and Angel explains that Dru is a "classicist." "She's a loony," Cordy observes. Angel lets that pass, and suggests that they focus their attention on cemeteries that have "a view of the night sky." Cordy says, "So, just outside cemeteries, then?" Snerk. Wesley says that Darla isn't necessarily buried in a cemetery. Angel furrows his enormous brow, and says that Dru is viewing Darla's resurrection as a birth: "She talked about getting the nursery ready." He adds that Dru wanted a view of the stars, and says, "She spent hours in my garden in Sunnydale communing with the night sky." Angel had a garden? I guess he meant that overgrown courtyard outside the mansion. Okay, sure, it's a garden. And Dru's nursery rhymes are part of a ritual. Sure. Gunn decides that this time he's gonna play the smartest person in the room -- like that's worth bragging about -- and suggests that Drusilla meant a nursery for plants. Cordy says she'll look for a plant nursery that's up high and owned by Wolfram & Hart.
Darla-vert. We pull back from an outside view of the nursery as Angel drops into the frame. From? I don't know. Another building, I guess. We'll let it pass. He enters the unlocked nursery (nice job on security, Holland) and checks out the big trough o' soil. A little digging, and he uncovers a face wrapped in gauze. Uh oh, I think Drusilla took all that talk about being a "mummy" the wrong way. He lifts the wrapping off, and reveals -- Darla! Oh, wait, that's not a surprise. He clears the dirt away from her cleavage, which is very thoughtful of him, and pulls a phallus out of his pocket. Not even fifteen minutes into the episode, and already the Freudian implications are staggering. He lifts the stake, takes aim, and then Dru whacks him on the back with a shovel. In between whammos, Dru explains that the moon was kind enough to show her Angel's approach. She says, "It told me to come into the twentieth century." Angel looks pained and tells her, "It's the twenty-first century, Dru." Drusilla moans and replies, "I'm still lagging!" as she kicks the shovel into Angel's face. I don't want to hear any debates about when the twenty-first century starts, because I don't care: that was funny. Then Darla opens her eyes and gasps at the amount of mascara they've plastered onto her. Angel and Dru continue their greenhouse-fu. Angel briefly gets the upper hand and prepares to stake Darla, but she's not in her bed any more. He turns, and Darla grabs him by the throat. Dru looks on smugly and says, "Now everybody's home." Thank goodness we have the commercial break to recover from the shock of Drusilla's pronouncing the letter "H."
When we've recovered, Dru makes a "c'mere" gesture to Darla and says, "Baby's up from 'er little nap!" Darla's distracted by the baby-talk, and Angel resumes the fu-ing. Darla alternates between attacking Angel and attacking Drusilla, which makes it all that much more complicated. Many failed staking attempts later, they've managed to crash out onto the open rooftop. Dru laughs happily as Darla playfully rolls her around on broken glass. Angel interrupts the maternal bonding and tries, again, to stake Darla. But Darla manages to look even more confused than he does, which gives Dru time to renew her own attack. Darla runs for the edge of the rooftop and takes the plunge. By time Angel can peer over the edge, she's vanished. And so has Drusilla. But the blipverts remain.
Angel hurries into the Hyperion's lobby and tells everyone to "gear up." "So you did find them, then?" Wesley deduces. He asks where Dru and Darla are, and Angel admits that he doesn't know. As he divides up the weapons, Angel concedes that he doesn't exactly have the slightest idea where they might have gone. He says that they're separated, and that "if [the MoG] can find one of them before they join up again, [the MoG] have a good chance of stopping something very ugly before it starts." Speaking of ugly, there are clowns with too much self respect to wear Cordy's shirt. The MoG aren't enthusiastic about the chances of just running into their quarry. Angel says that's why they're going to follow the only solid lead they have, and go visit Wolfram & Hart. Cordy notes that Wolfram & Hart's security might pose a problem. Angel testily says, "We've got two options. Either we go back to the people who brought them both here in the first place, or we sit around, waiting for the bodies to start piling up." After a beat, Gunn says, "You had me at, 'Everyone gear up.'" Wesley is miffed that Gunn has managed to outdo him at sucking up to Angel. They head out into the blipvert. They're really making up for all those episodes that only had one blipvert, aren't they?
Holland steps into Lindsey's office and says, "My wife wants to know if you're bringing a date to the office party this evening." She needs to know how many crab puffs to order, y'see. Isn't the night of the party a little late to be figuring out how much food to prepare? Unless it's the kind of parties I have, where the big question is whether it's worth springing for the giant-sized bag of cheese curls. Anyway, Lindsey doesn't have a date, which causes Holland to encourage Lindsey to have "healthy attachments outside of the office." Lindsey takes this interference in his personal life without blinking, and Holland goes on about the wine he's going to serve. Drusilla pipes up to announce that she's sampled that very vintage. Guess she was hiding in the little lawyer's room, changing the diaper on her new dolly. It's only while writing these recaps that I realize how odd this show is sometimes. Holland diplomatically apologizes to Dru for not realizing she was there, and glares at Lindsey. Lindsey does a little "ain't a stinker?" shrug. Dru moans, "I'm very worried about Grandmum. The building was quite tall." Lindsey reassures Dru that Darla is a survivor. Dru goes on sadly to say that "Angelus wasn't happy in the least." Holland isn't too surprised that Angel found them, and asks what happened. Dru starts rolling her torso around like she's practicing yoga, and announces that Angel is on his way there, and that "he's very cross." Holland says that they've taken precautions, and then the phone rings. Lindsey answers it and finds out that there's a general alert, because there's an "untamed vampire in the building." He heads for the door as Holland suggests escorting Drusilla to security. Lindsey opens the door, and there stands Darla. Not Angel, like they'd set us up to expect. Good work. Darla enters and sticks her face by Lindsey's neck, breathing heavily. Holland tells Lindsey, "No sudden movement." I'm betting that it's already too late for that advice. I can't even believe I said that. Darla's holding Lindsey's head and moaning, "Warm," and Lindsey doesn't seem to mind. Then she hurls him across the room, and that part he probably didn't like so much. Dru holds her arm out for a big hug; Darla rushes over, grabs Dru's hand, and they scamper off. Lindsey picks himself off the floor as Holland calls security and tells them to let the vamps leave the building. Then Holland looks at Lindsey and repeats, "'Healthy attachments,' Lindsey." Lindsey snarls behind Holland's back.
Cut to the Angelmobile racing down the city street. Cordy starts having a vision in the back seat, and Wesley tells Angel to pull over. Cordy sees a guy loading a revolver, and tells Angel to turn the car around. "We're almost there!" he whines. Cordy keeps groaning, and Angel adds, "She should have done this before we left the hotel!" Hee. Cordy finally pulls a stake out to get Angel's attention, and he pulls a 180. Props to MisterAlex, who noted that the skidmarks from a attempt are visible as they turn. And so they drive off into the blipvert.
People chit-chat outside a coffee shop. Suddenly Darla throws Drusilla into the frame. And against a car. And against anything else handy. "Did I do something to displease you?" Dru wonders. Instead of simply assuming that this is a publicity stunt, some of the onlookers try to intervene in the catfight, and get walloped for their trouble. Dru is thrown out into oncoming traffic. And hit by it. But she's fine. Darla runs out into the street, grabs Dru, and demands, "Why?" Dru insists, "For you, all for you. I thought it was what you wanted." She does not add, "Plus, y'know, since I dumped Spike, I don't have anyone who puts up with my craziness, and I thought you might be my friend." Darla stares at Dru while a guy in an SUV honks his horn at them. Dru cries and adds, "All alone in the dirt! We've lost our way, and the little worm won't dance if he's told to." My guess is, that worm'll dance plenty if Buffy tells him to, if you know who I mean, and I think you do. Darla takes Dru into her arms for a loving hug. The SUV driver finally steps out and asks if they're going to move. The girls look up at the boor who's interrupting their special moment, and darn it, they do look purty together. But the boor is unmoved, and suggests that they "take the make-out session on home. The rest of us have lives." Darla walks over to him and predictably responds, "Not for long," as she vamps out. She slurps him on down and then smiles at Drusilla. Go, Darla. I hate SUVs. Dru says, "You're all new again!" and playfully pokes Darla's nose with her finger. Darla suggests they go shopping. And so they ease on down the road, working their hips for the cameraman.
Rock and roll blares from a boom box as a kid sits in front of his Satanic-death-metal shrine and says, "Morgog, I worship you." He goes on about sacrificing his life to Morgog as Angel and the MoG enter. They're in a auto-repair shop or a garage or some damn thing like that. Angel starts to step forward, but Cordy says, "This kid's ready to snap, crackle, and pop." She says they have to handle him with care. Angel interrupts Cordy's sudden burst of sensitivity by tossing the boom box against a wall. Then he grabs the gun and says, "I'm not here to hurt you, kid." As he removes the bullets, he adds, "Morgog's not the way. Morgog couldn't find his way to his hairy spine-hump without a road map. So don't go killing yourself, it's not worth it!" He looks around hesitantly at the surroundings and unconvincingly says, "You've got, y'know...a million reasons...to live...I bet." Heh. Angel tosses the revolver into a barrel of oil and turns to leave. Wesley says that they aren't done, but Angel says that he is. Wesley suggests that there was a reason for Cordy's vision, and Gunn suggests that maybe the reason was to keep Angel from going to Wolfram & Hart. Angel tells them that they can help the kid, because he's got more important things to do.
Darla and Dru check out the wares in a boutique. As Dru tries on a hat, a phone rings, and Dru says, "I'm ringing. D'you hear it? I'm ringing all over." She starts to do a little cell-phone dance, until Darla calmly reaches into Dru's cleavage and pulls out the phone. Dru stops her dance and says, "Oh yeah. Fo'got about that." Heh. I think what I like about Dru is that her flakiness is intended as a sign of insanity. I hate Phoebe, and Willow, and all those other overly cutsey characters whose flakiness is meant to be endearing. But for Dru it's meant to be indicative of actual mental instability, so I like it. In case you wondered. Thanks for listening. Anyway, Darla answers the phone, "Hello, Holland." Cut to Lindsey's office, where Lilah and Lindsey listen in on Holland's half of the conversation. Darla tells Holland that she feels like her old self again, which he's happy to hear. Holland says that he's heard that they've been on a spree. Darla asks whether that's a problem, as she strolls over to the body of one of the store's salesgirls. "On the contrary," Holland reassures her, "why settle for a spree when you could have, say, a massacre?" I'll just jot that down in my commonplace book. Darla and Dru are, naturally, keen on massacres, and Holland says that they'll have "the full weight and support of Wolfram & Hart" behind them. Oddly, Holland doesn't have any suggestions for where they should begin their massacre. I thought that was a slight oversight at the time, and hindsight just confirms it. Darla hangs up, and Dru models a red jacket with faux-fur trim and asks, "Am I pretty, then?" Darla says that Dru is, and suggests that they find some shoes. She wanders back across the store and asks the other salesgirl, who is trying to pull herself across the floor, for assistance. It's nice that they're hiring disabled people in shops now. Although she seems like she ought to at least have a wheelchair. Oh, wait, I get it. Darla goes on asking for help with her shoes while the salesgirl whimpers, and then Darla leans over and snaps the girl's neck. Then she makes a predictable comment about lousy customer service.
Back at the office, Lilah shows off her mini-skirt and says that Angel should be busy for a while. "Yeah, until he kills them," Lindsey sniffs, but Holland says that killing Darla and Dru will be more difficult than Angel realizes. He's just about finished saying that they "won't have to worry about Angel anymore" when Angel crashes through the window. Okay, good, wasn't expecting that. Angel rushes right for Lindsey and demands to know where the D-girls are. Holland interrupts the threatening to introduce himself. The man is positively unflappable. He reaches out to shake Angel's hand, but Angel responds, "I'd be careful who I offered that hand to, Mr. Manners. You might just lose it." Holland's arm lowers. Angel adds, "Isn't that right, Lindsey?" Lindsey is also pretty free of flapping, however, and smirks, "There's [sic] worse things to lose, aren't there?" He's feeling a lot better about life since his haircut. Angel pushes him away and turns to Holland. Holland announces that he is "Division Head of Special Projects." Angel asks if Darla is one of these projects, and Holland says that Darla is just a tool. Security guards with baton-stakes enter as Holland adds, "You're the project." Angel threatens Holland, but Holland says that Angel doesn't kill humans. "You don't qualify," is Angel's response. Oh, look, he's learning that morality isn't black and white. Only took him two hundred years. Angel speechifies, "You set things in motion, play your little games up here in your glass-and-chrome tower, and people die. Innocent people." Holland's good-natured response is, "And yet I just can't seem to care. But you do. And while you're making threats, wasting time crashing through windows, the girls are out painting the town red-red-red." He goes on about lives in the balance, people needing saving, blah blah blah herocakes. Angel eyes the guards and suspiciously asks whether Holland's really going to let him leave. Holland insists that he will: "We don't want you dead. Yet. If we did, you wouldn't be standing here." He tells the guards to escort Angel out, and explains, "I would walk you out myself, but I'm running a little late for a wine-tasting at my home. And, just so we're clear on the matter, you're not invited." Time for another blipvert.
Lindsey tags along with the guards as they lead Angel out to the waiting police car. Barbs are exchanged. Lindsey tells the cops to put Angel in a cell with a window, "southern exposure preferred." He smugly tells Angel, "The firm may not want you dead, but I'm cool with it." Angel gets in the car and finds Kate waiting for him. "Perfect," he grumbles. As the car moves on, Angel asks if he should escape now or after they get to the station. Kate interrupts to tell him that two people were killed at a clothing store, and that one of the murderers matches Darla's description. Angel asks why she's telling him this. Kate says, "Because I don't think I can stop them. Maybe you can." She tells the driver to pull over, and releases Angel. Wonder how she's gonna write that up on her report. Oh, and Angel -- you could at least say "thank you." Tsk. Remember, boys and girls, forgetting basic social niceties is the first step down a slippery slope that ends with you condemning a roomful of people to a terrifying death.
Cut to Manners Manor. Tee hee. Right, so Mrs. Manners goes to answer the door and welcomes Lindsey to her not-so-humble home. Lindsey identifies Mrs. Manners as "Catherine," and hands her a bouquet.
Down in the wine cellar, Holland address his suited troops: "The senior partners have informed me that they are very, very pleased with the work our division has been doing. Thing have been progressing nicely, and ahead of schedule, I might add." He singles out Lilah and Lindsey for extra praise, and starts talking about how their work is part of a "larger, greater plan, one which the senior partners hope --" He stops, and everyone turns to see Darla and Dru promenade into the room. Fashion check. Dru has added red vinyl pants to her furry jacket, while Darla has chosen a becoming sheer black top which she jazzes up with what I think are gold-tinted leather pants. Darla's made up for her comparatively understated wardrobe by attacking her hair with a curling iron. Johanna wonders, "So, in between leaving the boutique and going to the party, they stopped to get their hair done?" I suggest that they did each other's hair, since Darla's hair-don't makes sense if you figure that Drusilla is responsible for it. Johanna says that she would have liked to see that scene ("Shall I tease your 'air, Grandmum?"), and I must agree. Anyway, Holland looks a bit dazed as he starts to ask how they got inside the house. Darla explains that Catherine invited them in. Dru adds that she was sweet, like clover and honey, and licks her lips in case Holland is particularly clueless. Let's all watch as Holland's will to power slowly slides off his face. Darla says, "Just think of it as our way of giving you what you want." Holland's confused, so Darla clarifies: "I believe you said something about a massacre?" She and Drusilla vamp out.
Angel wanders around outside the boutique as police inspect the murder scene. A cop kneels in front of a set of mirrors to pick up a necklace that's fallen to the ground. He sits up and looks around at the mirrors, almost as if he feels he's being watched. He bends down again, because I guess the necklace is incredibly heavy, and as he does so, we can see Angel behind him. So sneaky with the mirrors. Though I'd like to know why no one else stopped him from entering the murder scene. Oh, well. He wanders to the back of the store.
Lindsey looks kinda pleased to see Darla and Dru, but everyone else in the room is less enthusiastic. Dru coos, "Pretty lawyers, all in a row," and starts counting heads. Points for the extra behind Lindsey, who doesn't let any of this keep him from enjoying Holland's wine. Holland tells Darla that he's glad she's alive, and tries to play up Wolfram & Hart's role in her survival, because we all know about the vampiric capacity for gratitude. Darla tells Holland, "I guess you really care about me as a person. I guess I owe all of you." Dru strokes Lilah's cheek and compliments her on her complexion. Lilah explains that she moisturizes, and Dru leans in close to say, "That was very thoughtful of you." Darla approaches Holland and expresses some bitterness about the way he "let [her] wallow with a soul and sent [her] crawling back to Angel." Holland ratchets up his sincerity as he says that he expected Angel to re-vamp her, but he miscalculated. "I thought he cared more than he did," he adds. Dru makes talky gestures with her hands and jabbers, "Grandmum won't eat the double-speak." Darla agrees that, verily, she will not be partaking of misleading conversational gambits.
Angel enters the dressing room, perhaps wondering what it is that girls do back there. He opens a booth and finds a girl cowering inside. He reassures her that the cops are there, and that she's okay. The girl whimpers about how she was looking for a dress for her office party when the D-girls arrived, and how she thought they'd find her, and so on. Angel asks if she heard anything, and the girl says, "I guess I was lucky 'cause of the party." Angel doesn't quite roll his eyes as he says, "You'll be okay, you'll make your party." The girl clarifies that the D-girls left because they were in a hurry to get to a "tasting." Angel tells the girl to go find a police officer, and helps her out of the booth.
Dru twitchily hisses, "I 'ear the sirens. They don't know if the world will be there in the mornin'." Lilah asks Lindsey whether he hears sirens, and whether the police are on their way. Lindsey says no: "She senses what this place was built for." Holland explains that his wine cellar is a converted bomb shelter. Dru channels Madonna, circa "Respect Yourself," as she slides a hand down to her crotch and says, "People, huddled together, crouching in fear." Holland agrees that it probably would have been like that, and Darla gets the punchline: "No. Now. She means now." Holland admits he "stepped into that one." He apologizes for Darla's suffering, but reminds her that she is now a "superior being," and that all of his staff will be happy to help her achieve her goals. Darla says that all she senses is "big, stinky fear." Then she strolls over to Lindsey and adds, "But not from you." She growls by his neck again and asks why he isn't afraid. Lindsey doesn't know. She points out that he may die, and asks if he cares. Lindsey says, "I care. I guess I just don't mind." So it's a really apathetic form of caring. Er, okay. Holland insists that no one will die, because "this is just a friendly get-together amongst colleagues." Darla says, "I love this room," then skips over to Dru and tells her, "In our new digs, we have to put in a people cellar."
Angel arrives at the open door of Manners Manor. He sees a blood trail on the carpet that leads to Catherine's body. Oh, she's not dead. Lucky thing. She moans, "Help us!" Close enough to an invitation for Angel. In he goes.
Downstairs, Drusilla mutters, "Daddy's 'ome." Angel descends the stairs as Darla turns to great him. Dru says, "Look wha' we 'ave for you!" Angels stares on dully, and Dru sadly says, "It's not Daddy. It's never Daddy." She hisses at Angel, and calls him "the Angel-beast." Darla asks if he's there to punish them, and Dru gets into that idea. She crosses her arms over her head and says, "Yeah, yeah, spank us 'till Tuesday. We promise to be bad if you do." Sorry, but you could throw Faith in here, too and Farscape would still be the kinkiest show on television. So just give it up already. Angel tells Darla, "I'm sorry I didn't get to you in time." Darla isn't....Dru says that Angel is "soul-sick, not even thinking about 'is own family. Only thinking about them." She yanks a lawyer out of a corner by his hair. Darla steps forward and says, "C'mon, love. I never did get that goodbye kiss." Angel says that she will. Lilah perks up a little at that, until Angel adds, "But not tonight." Lilah whines, "For God's sake, help us," and is immediately disintegrated by a bolt of lightning. Not really, but that would have been funny. Holland tells Angel that "people are going to die." All through this scene, I kept thinking that if this was a better show, Angel would just leave the whole pack of them there, so I can't express my delight at this part. Angel parrots Holland's remark earlier and says, "And yet somehow, I just can't seem to care," as he reaches up and closes the doors to the wine cellar. Darla wraps her arms around Holland, who's still trying to tell Angel that maybe they can "negotiate" something. Outside, Angel pushes the deadbolt home. Dru whispers, "Daddy..." Lindsey looks rather pleased, unlike Lilah. And then Darla pulls Holland down for a taste. Screams and crashes follow Angel as he walks upstairs. I stop clapping halfway into the scene.
The MoG have formed their own Tribunal as they finish listening to Angel's story back at the office. Wesley, stunned, asks, "And you...just walked away?" Angel says that he walked to his car, and then drove away. No one is amused. Angel justifies his action by noting that he didn't bring Darla and Drusilla into this, Wolfram & Hart did. Wesley says that Angel could have stopped them. Angel says he will. Cordy, in a shirt last seen in One Million Years B.C., self-righteously asks, "When? After they've wiped out all the people you don't like?" Angel doesn't bother responding, so I will, thusly: it's not as if he and Wolfram & Hart just had a spat about a telephone bill . They're evil. Angel fights evil. If other people want to fight evil for their own reasons, like being evil themselves, why should Angel put a stop to it? Oh, and Wesley? Cordy? Remember when Vocah, at Wolfram & Hart's behest, put both of you in the hospital? Why did they do that? Because they're evil. I don't want to have to explain this to you again. Wesley and Cordy ignore me, and describe Angel's actions as "wrong," because they went to the Buffy School of Moral Absolutes. Gunn, taking a more moderate approach, simply says that Angel "went too far." Wesley is wearing a bright red shirt that really brings out the blush on his cheeks. He tries for an intervention, saying, "We've all been worried about you, and I guess it's fair to say we all share some of the blame. We should have spoken up sooner." Gunn adds, "And louder." Oh, Gunn, not you, too. Cordelia, trying for "near tears" but winding up closer to "mildly asthmatic," asks, "Don't you see where this is taking you?" Wesley says that the MoG are all that stand between Angel and "real darkness." I am terribly embarrassed for Gunn, who is forced to add, "You best believe that, man." Angel ponders this for a moment, and finally replies, "I do." Angel twitches his mouth and calmly says, "You're all fired." Then he gets up and leaves. Roll credits, and begin massive amounts of speculation.