It's the makeover episode! The girls head to the Christophe Salon in Beverly Hills where Kelly Cutrone and Johnny Wujek drop a big twist: the girls will have the OPTION of getting a makeover or not. The one stipulation is that they have to say yea or nay prior to knowing what exactly the makeover will entail. All of the smart folks of course agree to be made ever. "Smart folks" at this juncture excludes Harvard Maria, who actually yells, "Hell no!" when asked if she wants her makeover. If you think you're too good for the show, then why are you on the show? Maria's tragedy is that she's not even a hater in a fun way - she's just dull and annoying. Also, learn to recognize what is basically a trick question.
Victoria, who is widely voted as most in need of a makeover by her fellow contestants, also declines. It may not surprise you that she sheds quite a few tears about the whole thing. To be honest, I would say yes to the makeover just to avoid the talking-to that these idiots are going to get from not only Cutrone but Tyra herself, who shows up to watch the festivities.
Indeed, while Darian sheds her braids in favor of a long, layered bob, Kristin gets bangs, and Nastasia goes a little shorter and curlier, Tyra has a sit-down with Maria and Victoria and wonders aloud whether they should be in the fashion industry. Victoria of course starts blathering on about how her full-blooded Cherokee Indian grandmother had long hair. That was before people had scissors! She probably would have killed for some face-framing layers! They open their secret makeover envelopes and Victoria learns that she would have had long, red curly hair. Maria basically would have had exactly the same hair with highlights. Tyra is very interested in what social media will say about this matter, which of course thrusts Victoria into full meltdown mode.
As for the other makeovers, Kiara loses part of her eyebrows and gets a straight weave, Allyssa and Yvone are about the same, Brittany goes shorter and light brown, Leila is blonder and more cracked-out, and Laura gets long ice-blonde hair. Also, she is from a small town. Have you heard? There's only one stoplight, she swears! Destiny gets a closely cropped back with longer front, and is NOT HAPPY. She wants a feminine look, and also not to look like a lesbian. Girl, it is way too late for that. Tyra wonders why this is such a problem. It turns out that Destiny is bi with a boyfriend, and doesn't want to be stereotyped. Also, she just has issues. I will give her that something is really lacking in the execution on this one. Meanwhile, Maria gets a talking-to by Kelly Cutrone and is so snitty throughout that Kelly has to get even more severe than normal. It is not good, unless you like dull and uninspiring snittiness squared.
There's some Darian versus Kiara drama in the house, which seems to focus on who is the biggest real-ass bitch, and then it's time for a nude photo shoot! The girls not only get to go topless in a park, but they do it with Rob Evans! DROOL. Backstage, Maria uses the C word to describe Kelly. It's maybe not inaccurate, but definitely ill-advised. But we are sadly robbed of Kelly's inevitable smackdown of Maria by Maria herself -- before she even poses nude, she tells Johnny that she's quitting the show. A van takes her away, and that's it. Everyone else has a very "don't let the door hit you in the ass when you leave" reaction to the whole thing.
Despite her makeover drama, Victoria takes a photo that the judges love, and winds up being called first. Darian and Yvonne are not so lucky, and land in the bottom two. The judges' scores are tied, and so it actually is the social media score that determines who is sent home -- it's Darian who goes, by three-hundredths of a point. Can she demand a recount? For a minute Tyra makes it seem like she won't go home, before clarifying that Darian and everyone else who is eliminated has a chance to make it back on the show via some sort of online contest. Now I think we know who is the realest-ass bitch of all.
Previously: new judges, social media, etc. And super cute Jessie was sent home, some (me) may say unjustly.
We enter with the girls returning home to find Leila's best-of-week photo displayed as digital art, complete with some really crunk fonts representing the judges' comments. Leila is tearfully appreciative to all the fans out there who helped her achieve this great honor. She should really be thanking the judges, each of whom gave her a 10! Sorry, but the fans had nothing to do with this one. Democracy is 90 percent a sham when you look closely. Leila of course gets the key to the Tyra Suite, and invites Laura to join her there, because she thinks Laura is awesome. And then stupid Laura questions Leila's motivation for inviting her to share in the Suite. Who knew small town girls were so wily and suspicious? Leila is just being nice! Laura says she's not giving advice to anybody, since this is a competition. What advice would she even HAVE that we haven't already heard from Garrison Keillor? In any case, Leila says that being in the Tyra Suite is the best thing that's happened to her in her entire life. If you come into this competition with extremely low expectations, you will never be disappointed!
We then learn a little about Darian, which is always doom-infused foreshadowing this early in the episode. Darian answered an ad looking for models for New Orleans Fashion Week, was chosen, and says it was the best experience of her life. She looks gorgeous in the photos, I have to say. Every time I talk about Darian, I want to sing, "Daaaaaaaarian. Madame libraaaaaaaarian." (Meanwhile, have you EVER seen a more scintillating YouTube video? It was probably made by Victoria's mom.)
And then there is Tyra Mail! "Who's gonna make the cut? Fierce and love, Tyra." Everyone correctly surmises that makeovers are a-comin'. Victoria looks sullen, as she's already convinced that she's going to get some sort of a pixie cut that, according to her, won't work well with her hair type. Maria is also scared. She reminds us that she was an awkward and geeky kid, and that her parents encouraged her to focus on the academics. I'm not sure that there's a causal relationship there, but who knows. Maria is, in case you haven't heard, now at Harvard. She snits that she doesn't want her hair cut, and isn't going to let anyone cut her hair, and confessionalizes, "Sorry, Tyra. Good luck with that. A heh heh." You can tell by the looks on the other girls' faces that they think she is hella-annoying. Destiny goes so far as to say that she's obviously intelligent, but the way she's acting is almost an embarrassment to Harvard. We are reminded of her backtalk to the judges at the last panel, and how Kelly Cutrone was forced to snap at her in an even more snappy manner than usual. Allyssa tells us that Maria and her stank attitude should have been sent home, and we roll to the credits. In which, I may add, Tyra wears a neon yellow sleeveless mock turtleneck. She is not sporting her best looks this season, is all I'm saying.
When we return, the girls arrive at Christophe Salon in Beverly Hills, where Kelly and Johnny await them. Johnny talks up Christophe, and then we meet him. He's so very leathery! In the most glamorous of ways, of course. There is an envelope for each girl, within which makeover details can be found. Kelly announces a twist for this season -- the girls get to decide whether or not they want a makeover. She gives them a major clue as to what their decision should be when she says, "You have to remember, this is Tyra's idea of what will make you beautiful." In other words, don't be a fool, fool. There is a twist to the twist, which is that the girls have to decide whether or not they want the makeover before learning what said makeover will entail.
Kelly and Johnny go down the line of girls, and we get enthusiastic yeses from Darian, Yvonne, Leila, Nastasia, Kristin, and Brittany. Then Johnny gets to Maria, who yells, "Hell no!" All Johnny can do is say, "Wow," and Nastasia wonders about the real merits of a Harvard education. Kiara, Destiny, Laura, and Allyssa all are game for makeovers, but then we get to Victoria. She starts to say that it might not really be who she is, and Kelly shushes her before demanding a simple yes or no. And if you can believe it, Victoria's final answer is no. To quote Allyssa, who is turning out to be a champ despite the fact that I thought she'd be the first eliminated, "I was like, this bitch is stupid. Because if anyone needs a makeover, it's her." I mean, she's not entirely wrong.
The girls then open their envelopes to discover their fates. Destiny will be getting long pieces in the front with a shaved back and camel highlights. They're going to put a CAMEL in her hair? Avant garde! She is not psyched. Darian will be getting a long, layered bob, and Laura is happy with her impending ice blonde hair and bleached brows. Kelly sends everyone on their way, telling Victoria and Maria that she'll be talking to them later. Well, that can't be good. Victoria is worried, despite the fact that she's following her mom's advice of trusting her gut instinct. I, personally, feel that Victoria should NEVER trust her gut instinct. In any case, she hopes that it doesn't affect her standing in the competition. Maria, however, could not give a shit. She interviews that if the girls were given the option, no one should be mad at them for not choosing the makeover. Oh, her, trying to use all that fancy Harvard logic!
Darian squeals a little while getting her braids cut off, but seems to take the whole thing in relative stride. She's ready for a fresh new self as she enters the fashion industry. Johnny clowns with her a little, and then Tyra shows up! Who could even take her advice seriously, with that scraggly wet labradoodle on her head? Tyra tells Darian that she was going to let her keep the braids, but then the ever-powerful "social media" didn't like it. It's not just Tyra deciding things, everybody. It's the omnipresent all-powerful non-being "social media." Someone will mention it every six seconds so you don't forget. Darian says that she's ready for a change, and in fact the end result is pretty good.
Oh boy, and then Tyra has a little tete-a-tete-a-tete with Victoria and Maria. She asks why they declined the makeovers. Fucking Victoria starts in about how her great-great grandmother was full-blooded Cherokee Indian and had similar (which she pronounces "simular") hair. She takes a lot of pride in that heritage. And also, Jewish relatives. I don't know what Jewish relatives have to do with anything, but Victoria certainly likes to reference them. Tyra tells both girls that when a model is reluctant to make a temporary change, she wonders if they should be in the fashion industry at all. Because the fashion industry does not give a care about your Cherokee great grandmother. Tyra invites Victoria and Maria to open their makeover envelopes. Maria's simply reads, "Curly with layers and highlights." Basically, she would have had the same hair. What a tool. Victoria's would have been red, long and curly. She's kicking herself and wonders if she's engaged in self-sabotage. Everything that Victoria does is simultaneously self-sabotage and a genius maneuver. They will never kick her off the show until they've squeezed every last crazy tear out of her face. Between heaving sobs, Victoria tells a camera person that her mom would advise her to stay strong. That's the unique Cherokee-Jew logic at work!
We see Kristin post-makeover, with shorter hair and bangs. She looks kind of like a cross between Cheryl Tiegs and Natalie Maines. I don't dislike it, and she is excited to have a new, edgier look. Nastasia gets a slightly shorter, bouncier lion's mane. You couldn't really mess with that lovely perfect hair too much. Kiara is getting a longer, straight weave and also the outside edges of her eyebrows are removed so she can look like Spock in all of her photos. She loves the look and pronounces that she is now even more of a threat.
Meanwhile, Destiny is having a sad. She tells the hairdresser and Kelly that she would like a more feminine look, and Kelly asks if what she means is that she doesn't want to look like a total dyke. Known for her caring and subtlety, that one. Johnny tells her to own the edginess, and then we see a post-makeover confessional in which Destiny tells us that she doesn't feel pretty or confident. And that's because her hair looks crazy. It's like a really bad version of Lisa Bonet on early The Cosby Show. We go back to the makeover itself where Tyra, sniffing out potential for drama and getting her old talk show host voice back, asks Destiny why she's so worried about looking like a lesbian. The answer is because she's only half-lesbian. Destiny says she doesn't want to be known for liking chicks, and then Tyra crouches down and gets very patronizing as she says, "You like girls? And boys? Or just girls?" It turns out that Destiny is into ladies but also has a boyfriend, but says that all of this does not define her. In sum, Destiny says that she doesn't want to look like a little boy. Tyra says that she'll be really hot and beautiful, and it's all about how you feel inside. Unless you have gotten a whack haircut, in which case it's also about how you look on the outside. Poor Destiny.
Oh boy, and then it's time for Cutrone versus Harvard, round 7. Kelly asks Maria why she didn't accept the benevolent makeover that was thrust upon her, and Maria says it's because she didn't want to cut her hair. Then Kelly gets a look that's even more severe than her normal face, and says that no major agency would accept a beginning model who's not flexible. Oh God, and then Maria is like, "I'm already represented by an agency," and Kelly gets the biggest "Bitch, please" look on her face as she says, "IN BOSTON." With all due respect (ha), Kelly says that Maria is represented by a little mosquito agency that has no real meaning or impact in the fashion world. She then offers to give Maria $10,000 on the spot for every major national fashion campaign that she's shot. This is obviously a very safe bet. Then Kelly asks what would happen if Karl Lagerfeld wanted her to get a bob. Maria laughs a little and says that if Karl Lagerfeld told her to do it, she probably would. Cutrone is not pleased, and tells Maria that she's really committed to defending mediocrity and wishes her luck. By which she means, go suck a dick. Commercials.
When we return, Brittany is a bit nervous about her shorter, lighter do, but ends up forcedly running her hands through it and stiffly saying that it's so light, and is a fresh new change. She's so happy about it! As evidenced by her grimace! Allyssa basically looks the same so we don't pay much attention to her. Leila more or less just gets highlights, which somehow serve to make her look like a meth addict. Not much happens to Yvonne, either. Then there's Laura. We see her ice blonde hair, which she loves, despite the fact that she's from a small town with only one traffic light. And, yowser, does she ever look like a porn star now. She takes the whole thing in stride like a pro, though.
Oh God, and then P'Trique shows up with foils in his wig and beard. He has Tyra Mail. "As a top model your body of work is revealing to who you are, so make sure you get the right exposure." Is that even a sentence? Anyway, everyone seems quite convinced that they are going to be nekkid. Hopefully that doesn't apply to P'Trique as well. Back at the house, Maria talks about how she loves her hair and is determined to stay true to herself. Meanwhile, the other girls talk about what an asshole she is. There seems to be general agreement that a) she should go home; b) she isn't taking things very seriously; and c) she's not representing Harvard in a positive way. Maria's response, via interview, is, "Over it," with her signature joyless giggle.
But don't worry, friends, for there is other drama to be had! Kiara thinks that Darian is loud and annoying and should go home. As Allyssa gets ready to go to her room and wonders aloud what Darian is going to make her laugh about tonight, Kiara tells Allyssa to relay the message that Darian needs to shut the hell up after midnight, because being loud at that hour is disrespectful. Allyssa dutifully scurries off to pass on the message. And then Darian is just like, "Oh, okay, anything to keep peace in the house." Psych! She of course storms out to confront Kiara, and starts saying her piece before she can even find her, which is pretty awesome. She's just yelling at the walls and whoever is in ear shot.
Kiara eventually shows up to reiterate her request to shut up after midnight, and Darian responds that she'll stay up as late as she wants. She walks off to her room, and Kiara follows her. Darian thinks that Kiara is fake for not giving the message herself. Kiara says that she didn't feel the need to come all the way upstairs to tell Darian to shut up, and Darian says that if she were a real bitch she would have. Kiara is SO OFFENDED by the accusation that she's not a real bitch. Darian wonders why Kiara is totally up in her face, and the answer is to prove that she's a real bitch. After a whole lot of fingers in faces, Kiara leaves while making sure that everybody knows she's a real-ass bitch. Kristin, still secretly the best, just stands on one of the beds, bouncing and laughing. After Kiara leaves, several of the girls do a real-ass bitch impression, and it's kind of awesome. Victoria's is, of course, the best. She analyzes the whole situation as such, "That's not an argument. I mean, I'm a real bitch? What is that supposed to accomplish?" As Kiara goes to bed like a real-ass bitch, we head to commercials.
When we return, the girls head to some sort of public park or garden where there are students sketching. Johnny greets them and introduces photographer Tony Duran, who will be shooting them today. With a camera. Though, you never know. Tony gave Johnny his start in the fashion world, and is apparently a big-time fashion photographer. He confirms for the girls that today is going to be all about nudity. Johnny drops the knowledge that the girls will also be working with a male model, and then Rob walks out! Naked with Rob! In public! Oh, it's just like a really great dream I had. Nastasia theorizes that her boyfriend is going to kill her.
The girls head to hair and makeup, and just sort of lounge around topless. Destiny asks Maria what Kelly said to her at the makeovers, and Maria says, "She like bitched me out for not like taking their advice and not trusting them." And THEN she calls Kelly Cutrone a cunt. Allyssa and Destiny, both of whom seem like they are not inexperienced in worldly matters, are shocked. A) They love Kelly. B) See you Tuesday! Destiny wonders how stupid Maria can actually be. I would actually really enjoy her own special brand of cuntiness and complete lack of respect for this show if she weren't so entirely devoid of humor. She's just not fun enough to claim for our side.
Bryanboy shows up for no real reason, and then we get to the shoot. Brittany is up first, kind of lying on a railing of some sort with Rob in front of her. Yowser! He really is like a Greek god. Johnny says that Brittany's new hair has transformed her from a little babydoll to a chic young woman. She leans against a tree and makes orgasm faces as Rob hovers over her. It's not a bad way to spend an afternoon, I'd say. Yvonne is up, and says her chemistry with Rob is good, even though she kind of smashes his eyes when Tony tells her to try covering them up. Johnny says that Yvonne needs to know her body angles, and realize how she looks in certain positions. Work the curves and all. Laura shows up with her new blonde hair, and Johnny tells us that she crushed it.
And ha! Then we get the privilege of seeing a topless Victoria (with the tiniest little blurred parts!) eating and watching Maria, who is sulking in the corner. Victoria says that Maria needs to try giving a care. She is showing zero effort, whereas Victoria came to the shoot today with curly hair to show she's at least trying to impress someone (anyone) and show remorse for her non-makeover decision. Nastasia is up , and does some sort of jumping pose with Rob. Leila falls into Rob's arms in the bushes, and Byranboy is very complimentary about how impressive she is. Allyssa looks sexy and intense, and both Johnny and Tony love it. up is Darian, who wets her hair in the nasty sedentary fountain just prior to her shoot. She knows that Kiara is looking on in the manner of a real bitch, to try to intimidate her. As Johnny and Tony tell Darian that her shot looks too romantic, Kiara notes that Darian seems unsure and is doing a weird mouth thing. That last part is true. Johnny acknowledges that Darian struggled, and needs to get out of her head a bit.
Kiara is , and she and Rob each hold on to the trunk of some little tree. It's a very weird pose. Rob says that Kiara held back, which is too bad since her athleticism could have made for some fantastic pictures. He was expecting a bit more. At one point they do a pose that involves Kiara sort of standing on Johnny's shoulder as he kneels down just in front of Rob, on the junk-facing side. Johnny shields the Rob wang with his hands, thereby missing what many would deem a golden opportunity.
Meanwhile, fucking Maria is sitting in the makeup room being sullen. Johnny comes in (completely organically and naturally! I'm sure this particular scene wasn't set up to dramatically reenact Maria's departure at all!) to let her know that she's on deck, and she tells him that she doesn't think she's going to do it. Johnny says that bailing on this shoot will be a major setback. He knows that she's been doubting whether she wants to be there pretty much the whole time. Maria says that she's probably not into the whole thing enough, or else she would have taken the makeover. Johnny asks whether she means into the shoot or into being there more generally, and she means the latter. She's realizing that modeling might not be what she wants to do. Johnny says that Tyra was psyched to have a Harvard girl on the show, and they all see so much potential in her, but that doesn't change Maria's mind. She wants to go home. Maria tells us yet again that modeling isn't for her and she doesn't feel passionate about it. She's decided to withdraw from the competition. As a van takes her away and she fades from the group photo, we head to commercials.
When we return, Johnny announces to the other girls that Maria is out of the competition. Many tears are shed at this great loss! No, just kidding. Laura actually says, "Good!" One dullard gone, and that's that. Kristin is to shoot with Rob, and is a bit of a disappointment on set. Rob says that she is almost too pretty, and acts like she can take a picture without even trying. He doesn't like that. And he's someone who is definitely too pretty and really can take a picture without even trying. Destiny is quite worried, and also sad that her hair won't be able to blow in the wind. How many roads must a model walk down before she doesn't have such a hair complex? Johnny thinks that Destiny isn't owning her rock 'n' roll look, while Tony is unimpressed at her lack of expression. Eventually, though, Rob seduces her into what seems like a decent shot. He's a really helpful modeling partner, and not only because of his flawless abs.
And then it's Victoria time! She's still obviously all worked up about the makeover situation, but is going to give the shoot her everything. One might expect Victoria to have some sort of problem with nudity or to get super weird nakedly embracing someone who isn't her mother, but in a surprise move she gets on set, falls into Rob's arms, and completely sexes it up. Johnny says that Victoria really came through and did everything that Tony asked. Including almost kiss Rob! Johnny intervenes before Victoria's pure lips are sullied by Rob's lusciousness. And that's a wrap!
Back at the house, the girls talk about how messed up it is that Maria gave up the opportunity to be in the competition. Allyssa, wearing some Charles Nelson Reilley glasses that lend a true air of authority, says that she actually wanted Maria to go to panel so they could all witness Kelly "Cutthroat" Cutrone cut a bitch. Oh, and then we hear a voiceover saying, "Maria, for her to have graduated from the same college as Tyra Banks... that pisses me off." I wish that Maria had actually left the show in protest of the fact that Tyra keeps claiming to have gone to Harvard. Six weeks in Cambridge is not the same as an MBA! Learn it!
And then there is Tyra Mail of Doom. Someone is going home. Darian tells us that this means everything to her, and she would be very upset to have to go home right after her makeover. Destiny, in case you are wondering, is still very upset about her hair. She tells us that she grew up feeling like she was the ugliest person, and the makeover has not boosted her confidence. I kind of feel her, in that when I was a little kid with a Dorothy Hamill bowl cut, I had an old man neighbor who, every day when I was walking home from school, would yell from his porch, "Who's that little boy walking down the street?" It gave me a huge complex and I insisted on growing my hair long. That old man also gave out pennies for Halloween, so clearly he wasn't a reliable source. But you don't know these things as a first grader.
Meanwhile, Victoria sits alone on the couch, agonizing. On the one hand Johnny was very complimentary at her shoot, but on the other hand she eschewed the makeover. And what are the physical manifestations of Victoria's emotional turmoil at this moment? Let's hear it in Victoria's own words: "My face is stinging and my eyes are welling up, because I want to talk to my mom." And then she calls her mom and cries and cries. Her mom is very encouraging and tells her to keep on going, and Victoria asks, "You want me to keep on going?" THAT'S WHAT SHE JUST SAID! LISTEN! Apparently all Victoria needed were her mom's words of encouragement and motivation. Now she'll be completely normal and cool, I'm sure.
With that, it's panel time. There are prizes, there are judges. I think they actually gave Bryanboy a chair this time, so clearly he's moving up in stature. Tyra reminds everyone that there was no challenge this week, so their total ranking will be comprised solely of the judges' scores and the social media score. Blonde Laura is first, porning it up with her new blonde hair. Rob loves her photo, and says she looks like a Greek goddess being held by a Greek god. That would be himself, of course. Though everyone makes fun of him for saying that, it's absolutely true. Cutrone really likes Laura's photo, except for her big rigid hand. Tyra is a fan of the whole thing, though, and at least one fan sent in a video in praise of Laura. In the end, Laura gets 8s from Tyra and Kelly and a 10 from Rob. I think Rob is scoring these photos mainly on how he looks in them, in which case they all get 10s.
Darian is up . And although I pledged not to recount the fan comments that are posted at the bottom of the screen during judging, I must make an exception for this gem from Alex: "Darian looks bored and kind of like she has no eyeballs." Indeed. Kelly is not loving Darian's photo and says that she looks harsh and "rugged from the neck up." Ouch. Rob tells her that, with her big lips, she has to be careful about how much she pouts. Tyra agrees that she's pushing with the mouth too much. Bryanboy delivers the sad news that Darian has fallen off of the social media map. There is a fan quote in which the word "disconnected" helpfully breaks in two, right in front of our eyes. They are really not shirking on the cutting-edge technology this season! Anyway, things are not looking good for Madame Librarian. She gets a 5 from Kelly, a 4 from Rob, and a 7 from Tyra.
Then there's Kiara. The shot with Rob around the shrub is very odd, and Kelly thinks that she looks like an ineffective ninja Pilates instructor. Tyra sees a bit of Gabrielle Reece in the photo, who was always told she was too athletic to be a model, but "defied all the odds." What a triumph of the spirit! Bryanboy says that Kiara had one of the lowest ratings online, then states his own personal opinion that she looked like Pocahontas on steroids. First of all, nobody asked for his personal opinion. And also I would not mind if she directed some roid rage at his laptop-wielding self right now. In the end, Kiara gets a 4 from Kelly, a 7 from Rob, and a 9 from Tyra, who is clearly taking pains to bump the final scores for the girls that she wants to keep around.
Up is our darling Victoria. Before the judges can even look at her photo, Victoria apologizes for declining the makeover. Tyra appreciates Victoria's humility, and also that she's trying out a curly look. I personally think that Victoria's photo is a little crazy (they have to blur out her ass crack!) but the judges love it. Cutrone raves, and Tyra gives it two snaps and a circle. I think that equals a 10. Bryanboy tells Victoria that her social media scores are improving and people are leaving more positive comments. She gets 9s from Kelly and Rob and a 10 from Tyra, and is clearly overjoyed.
Brittany is , and Rob tells her that her body and face look amazing. Oooh, except for that up-nose angle. Come on, people! Cutrone also agrees that it's slamming, sexy, and 100 percent on point. Bryanboy says that Brittany is a surprise hit this week, and that everyone online loved her photo. She gets 10s from Kelly and Tyra and a 9 from Rob, and is clearly relieved that she doesn't once again have to hear all sorts of mean comments about herself read aloud.
Destiny is , and Tyra asks what's going on with her hair. This is a case where what Tyra actually wanted for her was lost in translation, and she says that if Destiny sticks around another week she'll get a makeover for her makeover. Tyra sees fear in Destiny's photo, and Rob tells her that she's playing it too safe. He relates to her on a personal level, since they have similar past struggles, and wants her to use the desire never to go back to a terrible situation to motivate her in her photo shoots. We see a very complimentary fan video, and then Destiny gets fairly decent scores overall -- 7s from Kelly and Rob, and a 6 from Tyra.
Then there's Kristin. Rob says that the picture isn't as bad as he thought it would be, given how difficult Kristin was to work with and how little she seemed to want to be there. Tyra loves the picture, but says that all of her film was not this good. Kristin gets a 7 from Kelly, a 6 from Rob, and an 8 from Tyra.
Leila is , giving hot naked zombie realness. Rob loves it, and says that she's working the gap in her tooth. Both Bryanboy and the omnipresent Social Media love Leila and her gap, though Kelly would have liked her to bring a more womanly element to the picture. In the end, Leila gets a 7 from Kelly, a 9 from Tyra, and a 10 from Rob.
Yvonne is . Cutrone says that she has what it takes to deliver as a fiercely real model, but isn't quite doing it with the proportions of her body in this photo. It's the ass, man. Yvonne says that she's nervous about always having her ass as a focal point in her photos, but Tyra calls that branding. Apparently Yvonne's fans are disappointed with her this week. Bryanboy says that they're counting on her, so if she wants to rise back, she has to stand tall. Those words don't even make any sense in sequence. He's better when he's just quoting statistics, I think. Yvonne gets a 4 from Kelly and 6s from Rob and Tyra.
we have Nastasia, and boy does she ever look like my cat Nula in her photos. Nula is a Maine Coon, so VERY fluffy at the head and neck with a pointy little face, and also just slightly cross-eyed. I mean this all as a compliment. Kelly loves Nastasia's energy and body, and of course her hair. Rob says that he doesn't know any model working in the industry today who has the same hair, so that's going to be her signature. Tyra's only complaint is that the photo makes her look too petite, and so it's important to elongate her body. Nastasia gets a 7 from Kelly, a 9 from Rob, and a 6 from Tyra.
Finally there's Allyssa. She looks like a Victoria's Secret model, in a really good way. Cutrone tells her that she could sell anything with her body, and Tyra loves a girl who inhales in a photo. Tyra herself has been doing a lot of inhaling lately, and we see some of the crazed results. Top of her game, that one. Tyra calls Allyssa the baby of Megan Fox and J. Lo, and Melissa is obviously pleased at the comparison. The fans online love it too. Allyssa gets an 8 from Kelly, a 9 from Rob, and a 10 from Tyra.
Eleven made over girls stand before Tyra, but she only has ten photos in her hands. And those photos represent the girls who are still in the running towards becoming America's Top Model. The social media scores have been included in the final results. And Victoria gets best photo of the week! Her fan score was 6.2, for a total score of 34.2. She is of course overwhelmed, and I'm sure wishes she could have her mom join her in the Tyra Suite. Brittany is called , and her total score was a 33.9 with a fan vote of 4.9. I thought the fans liked her this time? Allyssa is called . She had a total score of 32.9, with a fan vote of 5.9. Then there's Leila, with a score of 32.2 and fan vote of 6.2. Laura is called , with a fan vote of 6.0 and a total score of 32.0. Nastasia has a final score of 28.1, with a fan vote of 6.1. Kristin is called , with the highest fan score of 6.9 and a total of 27.9. Then it's Destiny, with a fan vote of 5.1 and a total score of 25.1. Kiara is called , with a fan vote of 4.1 and a total score of 24.1.
This leaves Darian and Yvonne in the bottom two. Two girls, one photo, etc. Darian is crying, though Yvonne remains stoic. Until Tyra tells her that she is stunning, that is. Tyra says that the public didn't like Yvonne's photo as much as she did, and neither did the other judges. That's why she's there. And then there's Darian. She's beautiful, but her lips are too pushy in photos. And then it is the moment of truth. Darian and Yvonne both have 16 points from the judges, and so their social media scores will determine who goes home. I'm sure that wasn't on purpose just to try and validate this process or anything. Numbers flip by on the screen like this is The Biggest Loser, and we see that Yvonne squeaks through by the tiniest of margins. She got a fan score of 4.81, while Darian got a fan score of 4.78. Three hundredths of a point! I'm sure there's a hanging chad somewhere to blame.