Potes was busy with her capoeira lesson, but she'll be back for the full recap. Teyona isn't a silent threat any more, she's been upgraded to an actual threat, in her own mind. Celia is still old. Allison says the final four is super-hard. Paulina brings the gals for a samba lesson, to make them effortlessly move their body and fake their modeling. Celia overworks it because she wants it too much. Paulina says she's desperate because she's so goddamned old. Aminat actually shows some expressions on her face. Allison looked scared. Teyona's got two left feet. Paulina not-so-subtly hints that they should rehearse their steps. The morning Paulina does some hot samba moves with a dancer. She will be subtracting a million points for looking down. They get jewelry as a prize if they win. Shockingly, Celia wins, and Aminat looks more than a little irritated. Celia takes Allison with her for the prize and Paulina looks peeved that Celia didn't choose the runner-up.
Sutan and Christian wake the girls up for their photo shoot with the hair and makeup done in the house. They are then thrown on a bus way out into the jungle of Brazil. Tyra's photographing the gals and she wants fierceness and for them to look like birds. Allison has to be a "birdie owl/pterodactyl," and she has to protect her little birds. She tells Tyra she's really pretty. Aminat crouches up near a waterfall and has to learn how to wiggle her ears. Celia has to show more Amazon and less sex. A bat/moth attacks Tyra and Jay during their interview session. Teyona has to hug a tree. Then Tyra almost falls off a rock. At judging, Allison's shot looks great and Tyra was very proud. Miss J. talks in bird chirping. Teyona has a fabulous body, but it isn't her best shot. Celia shows her armpit and looks very strong. Aminat shocked Tyra with her wiggling ears. Everyone did well, they are all great, but someone has got to go home, so they nitpick, and Celia (or "America's Top Mother" according to Miss J) is sent packing. - Angel Cohn
Discuss this episode in our forums, then see why vlogger Sean Crespo thinks models are a waste of molecules in No Prior Knowledge!
Previously on America's Top Model: The girls got to don caftans at their go-sees with Brazilian designers, then hit the beach to pose with hairy fat guys and other assorted randoms. Fo had charm, but didn't work her teeny bikini-clad assets to the fullest and so was sent home. Four bitches remain! The three baddest bitches in America, and dormouse Allison.
It is night in Sao Paulo, and the girls return to their house after elimination. Teyona is feeling so great about getting called first that she busts out an, "Oh, snap!" when she sees her photo displayed as digital art in the house. She feels like she's getting better and better, and that in her bikini photo her girls are looking juicier and juicier. And by "her girls" she doesn't mean Aminat and Celia. Teyona is excited to be in the final four, and says that she's the one that the others need to look out for. Well, duh. Even with her Martha Raye Poli-Dent smile, she manages to trounce the others from week to week. Teyona continues that she used to be a silent threat, but she dropped the "silent" and is now a plain old threat. The others need to watch, because she's coming. And her teeth are detachable. Chomp chomp chomp.
Meanwhile, Allison tells Celia that her universally maligned bikini picture was rather cool. Celia agrees, and says nervously that it was just about her favorite one. They look at Teyona's winning picture, and Celia says that the set on that photo was easier to work with, and that Teyona is doing her favorite hand-over-head pose. Seems to me someone is eating sour prunes. Celia interviews that this was her second time being in the bottom two, and she was shocked that she got to stay. She thinks that the judges know that she's better than the performance that she gave. We cut to a sepia-toned flashback Tyra telling Celia that if she continues to give crap photos, all people are going to say about her is that she should go hang at the VFW with Grandpa Barney. Because she's old. Celia interviews that her biggest challenges are 1) her age; 2) not to be so stern with her photo shoots and challenges. She needs to relax both in face and in attitude. But not in bowels, because you can't shoot swimwear whilst sporting Depends.
Celia tries on a crazy outfit that is too big for her, and says it's pretty rad. Aminat interviews that they have to deal with Celia for another week, and that she can be "a bit much" and "annoying." Allison, however, is quite happy that Celia got to stay. She and Celia are good buddies, as evidenced by the fact that Celia takes photos of Allison with a pineapple on her head. What will these girls think of ? Allison tells us that Teyona and Aminat are equally close with each other, and we cut to them chatting in the hot tub. In other words, the friendship structures in this house are not like ebony and ivory, side by side on my piano keyboard.
Tyra Mail! It says, "Tchiqui Tchiqui Toom, Tchiqui Tchiqui Toom, Tchiqui Tchiqui Toom, Tchiqui Tchiqui Toom. Love, Tyra." This actually makes far more sense than anything Tyra has sent via mail thus far. The girls are confuzzled. The day, they take their bus to the G.R.C.S.E.S. Aguia de Ouro. Inside, they see couples dancing! And not only dancing, but samba dancing! Allison is instantly struck with crippling fear, and tells us that she is not a great dancer because she has no rhythm. I know you're shocked about this one. Paulina greets the girls and says, "You didn't think you were going to come all the way to Brazil and not learn a samba, did you?" A good samba dancer, she tells the girls, needs poise and coordination. And, you know, I would buy that Paulina is a woman of many talents. But wasn't she eliminated first on her season of Dancing With the Stars? I'm just saying. Well, at least she's leaving the instruction to the professionals, and she introduces the girls to their dance instructor, Juliana Leite.
In both samba and modeling you have to move your body and make it look easy. Juliana knows how to make it look easy. Teyona says that the first two steps were really easy and she caught on just fine. However, once the turns started, Teyona realized that dancing can make you dizzy. Maybe that explains Paula Abdul. That and the morphine pump. With their mini-lesson done, Paulina tells the girls that she wants them to infuse their dance with an awareness of what their face looks like while doing it. She says to fake it with confidence, which is actually some of the best advice you can get in life. The girls are to look at Paulina as if she were the camera, or as if she were Nigel with one-third the smarminess.
Celia is up first to dance. She interviews that samba is something that she's never done before, but she's ready to fake it. I have to say, Celia doesn't look half bad. Paulina tells us that Celia moves like royalty. This could be construed as a good thing, but in fact Celia is stiff and thus stripped the passion from the samba. Paulina doesn't think that it's her forte. And then, Paulina lets Celia have it. She begins by saying that there are so many things about Celia that are stunning and alluring. But, Paulina continues, Celia wants it too much. She says, and I quote, "You are at an age that is, like, way old for modeling. And desperation is not sexy." Celia looks like she's fallen and she can't get up. And seriously, Paulina, give the woman some credit. It's hard to dance with a walker! Paulina tells Celia to let go and have fun. Aminat agrees that Celia needs to chill and just enjoy the beautiful situation that they're in.
Speaking of Aminat, she's to dance. She's confident and tells us that she's ready to sex it up with her eyes and body language. And she does! She looks awfully gorgeous, and Paulina tells us that she's a natural and took to the dance like a duck to water. This makes me reflect on Aminat's duck-like grille. Quack! Allison is , the poor thing. She looks customarily awkward, and Paulina says that she was like a bucktoothed stiff little board. Paulina yells that Allison looks terrified, and Allison's response is to look totally deranged. That's one way to play it. Finally, there is Teyona. Oof. Paulina says that she was surprised about Teyona, because she wasn't as graceful as one might expect. Yes, Paulina, she's like Carlton. An anomaly for the ages. Even Aminat says that, though Teyona is her girl, she has two left feet and her dance was neither sexy nor sultry. She looks like a one-legged carrier pigeon. It's bad times. Paulina reiterates that the big takeaway from today's teach was that you need to fake it with confidence. Additionally, it was about learning how to move your body and face and melting into it -- exactly like modeling. I think she's starting to speak Tyra-ese. With a hint to practice their moves tonight, Paulina bids the girls adieu.
Back at the house, Celia ruminates on the fact that she's old as Methuselah. Allison tells her that she has a very strong look. We flash back to Paulina telling Celia that she's old and desperate. That's pretty unequivocal. Celia is going to try to relax her face as much as possible and "emote" being eight years younger than she is. Good luck with that, Grandma Moses. Celia notes that Allison looks really young in her pictures, while she looks really old in her pictures. Only one of those things is good. Try to figure out which as we head to commercials.
When we return, there is more Tyra Mail! Allison and Celia are wearing their sparkly sequined dresses from the drag queen posing challenge, which either means they're very drunk or very bored. Perhaps both. The Tyra Mail reads, "Whatever you do, don't look down. Love, Tyra." As Celia sips some sort of daiquiri out of a martini glass and looks more like Carol Channing than ever, she says that they're dancing. The two sparkly drunkards practice together in front of the mirror, while Aminat dances in her underwear with a curling iron. Suggestive! The day, the girls head to a rooftop where Paulina is being flipped about by a gentleman named Eduardo Ramos, who will also be the girls' dance partner. Paulina tells the girls that yesterday she didn't know how to samba, either, but modeling is all about creating an illusion. And Paulina is going to judge them on how well they create the illusion of having a good time. They also are supposed to look like they know what they're doing, and throw in a little flair to boot. Paulina says that every time they look down, she's going to subtract a million points. That must be some sort of Polish counting system. The winner and a friend of her choice will get over $7,000 worth of jewelry from designer Ara Vartanian. Not a bad prize! With that, the girls change into their costumes. Teyona is excited at the possibility of some bling-bling to go with her new outfits, and Aminat is confident going into the challenge, since she owned it during the teach.
The girls re-emerge on the rooftop in their costumes, and the color schemes of the outfits match the friendship pairings in the house. Allison and Celia are wearing similar shades of blue, while Teyona and Aminat are decked out in purple. Allison is first to dance. She tells us that she is petrified, as she should be. She is going to try to fake it with confidence. Instead, she fakes it with cluelessness. Paulina likens her to a little rickety wind-up doll made out of tin, which is not the best thing for a samba. Paulina then says, with a totally straight face, "She looked like her mechanism needed oiling." On occasion, Paulina kicks ass so hard I don't know what to do with myself. Celia is to dance. Paulina reminds her that she's happy and should enjoy it. Celia totally has an epiphany at these words, and some realistic faking starts to happen. Paulina tells us that, though Celia is not traditionally beautiful, she has a great presence. She also relaxed and went for it, to resounding success. Who says an old bag can't learn new steps?
Aminat is , and looks gorgeous in her purple dress. Paulina tells us that the samba is roguish, and Aminat does the roguish thing very well. Aminat smiles and spins, and Celia says that you can tell that there's chemistry between her and Eduardo. She thinks that Aminat's going to take the prize. For certain, Teyona is not going to take the prize. She's awkward, according to Paulina, and looked like she felt uncomfortable. Aminat interviews that she's shocked that Teyona didn't handle her business out on the dance floor. She needs more practice, and also a rhythm transplant.
With that, Paulina has made her decision. She tells Allison that her performance was kind of pathetic overall, but had some good moments and some good photo opportunities. Celia was more aimed for a moving camera than a still camera, but her performance was beautiful and the dance was impeccable. And no mention of her trying it out in the Shady Pines rec room! Aminat faked her way very effectively. Teyona has been doing spectacularly well for the last three weeks. That streak has come to an end. She couldn't pull it together. And thus, the winner is... Celia! She is thrilled, and in utter shock. Paulina tells her that her dance was spectacular, and that she absolutely knew what she was doing. Aminat interviews that she wanted this so bad, and in fact should have won. At least she gets the thrill of being the first loser. Celia announces that she'll pick Allison to share her prize, and Paulina looks pretty surprised that it wasn't runner-up Aminat. Aminat tells us that Paulina doesn't understand the dichotomies of the friendships in the house. Celia and Allison get their jewelry -- onyx and ruby earrings for Celia, and a turquoise pendant for Allison. Allison was very excited to share in the prize, since she hasn't won a challenge herself.
The girls meet up with Mr. Jay, who's standing in a field in the middle of the jungle. He notes that the girls are late. That's because they were reenacting a scene from The Hitcher, only, to our great sadness, nobody was abducted. Jay tells the girls that in the middle of the Brazilian jungle there are more than 2.5 million species of bugs. The Brazilian Jungle Tourism Council thanks him for that. Tyra holds a giant wrench as she says that they're not about insects, but birds. I still don't get how the wrench fits in. Perhaps it will be used to adorn the girls with the feathers that Tyra promises them. Everyone gets the full hair and makeup and some feathery garb. Tyra manages to work in the fact that she shot with Steven Meisel for Italian Vogue. I'm surprised that going to Paris at 13 didn't make the cut.
Allison is first up, with crazy teased out hair. She looks like a member of Vixen, and I'm sure is on the edge of a broken heart as we speak. Allison tells us that of course she's intimidated to be photographed by Tyra, but since they're down to the final four it's really crucial to have a good shoot. Allison makes her way further into the jungle where Tyra and Jay and a makeshift nest await her. Tyra says, and I quote, "Okay, so you are a birdie-owl-slash-pterodactyl. And, like, you're gonna be in the nest to protect your children. Your children are little eggs that haven't hatched, but they're in your pit because they're not in the nest." Allison looks at her blankly, which is EXACTLY WHAT SHE SHOULD BE DOING. Birdie-owl-slash-pterodactyl? In your pit? What? I love how Tyra and Jay and the editors are like, "Oh, dumb-ass Allison once again not knowing how to act like a birdie-owl-pterodactyl with eggs in her pit." Anyway, Tyra notes that Allison will be doing a lot of squatting and her legs might cramp. Since Tyra herself was once a model, she's sensitive to other models in pain. Unless they are standing before her in a judging panel situation. Then, anything goes. Tyra tells Allison to stand up if she needs to, to relieve the leg cramping. Our little birdie-owl-pterodactyl Allison actually works the nest! Jay tells her that her face-on shots are particularly bird-like, so she should keep doing those. Allison tells us that she was surprisingly comfortable with Tyra, who was very helpful and very assertive. That last part I'd buy. Allison feels good, and Tyra gives her a high five. Jay says that this is the least nervous Allison has ever been. This might actually be a bad thing since, when the shoot's over, Allison gives Tyra a hug and says, "You're really pretty." In retrospect, Allison realizes that she's a big fat nerd. She's embarrassed to be such a square. The fact that she says "square" makes me love her even more. I officially endorse Allison for the win!
Aminat is up in a bird-like babydoll dress with sequins and feathers. Aminat loves the beautiful location and says that it's relaxing. Tyra loves how she looks as she crouches in the nest and yells, "Crouching tiger, hidden Aminat!" And no, it doesn't make any sense, but it's better than birdie-owl-pterodactyl. Tyra tells us that Aminat has really nice body movements, but how the light hits her face is not the most appealing for a photo. She tells Aminat to fierce it up by contracting some of the muscles in her face. Jay adds that it's all about wiggling your ears. Beauty is a complicated thing, folks. At the end of the shoot, Aminat feels amazing. She says that she listened to Tyra, but also gave her a lot to work with.
Celia is , and reminds us that at the last photo shoot she was in a weird state and was completely intimidated. She forgot how to relax and have fun. So today, she's ready to relax her face and body and not be so stern with her photo shoot. Tyra gives Celia the helpful advice not to get a branch in the eye. Tyra starts to shoot Celia and asks for more angles. She wants "amazon" as opposed to "sexy bird." Tyra then instructs Celia to stick her booty out, just like birds do. Birds instinctively know the art of the booty tooch, I guess. Seriously, everyone, I think Tyra's gone mad. Madder. Eventually Tyra asks to take off Celia's feather vest. She interviews that she wasn't excited to photograph Celia at first, but as they went along she realized that Celia does indeed have a freshness. Jay asks Celia why she's not nervous today, and she says it feels more natural. Never one to let irony go unspoken, Jay says, "Lookin' like a bird with ten pounds of teased hair on your head." He adds that Celia is the type of person who loves interesting and creative things, and that's why it worked today. He's about to go on when Tyra is attacked by a giant moth. Sadly, it is not Mothra, and it does not carry her away and/or eat her. You missed out on a tasty meal, giant moth! Tyra tells Celia that she was fantastic, and Celia thanks Tyra for putting her at ease. Tyra says that she has a real self and a fake self, and trust me when I say that they are indistinguishable. Celia starts to cry, from happiness. Or maybe she got Geritol in her eye. She is happy to have achieved her goal of relaxing and having fun.
Finally there is Teyona. Jay tells us that when Teyona walks on set she looks good but isn't the most inspiring model. Energy-wise it's just not there. Aminat, however, has the energy. But she sucks. So. Tyra asks Teyona to wrap her legs around a tree, and Teyona does. She interviews that when she gets on set she gets in a zone and just focuses. She's very confident in herself, and just wants to make sure that her game is where it needs to be. It's starting to get dark in the jungle, so Teyona takes off a feathery layer. Tyra almost slips into a crevasse while shooting Teyona, but sadly someone saves her. This was our chance, world! Sigh. Tyra interviews that a lot of things were working against this shoot -- they were losing the light, the wardrobe wasn't working, the nest was in an awkward position, and there was a lot of makeup. Tyra and Jay thought it was going to be a disaster. But lo! It was not. As a model in awkward situations, says Tyra, you have to have an "outer body" experience. She enunciates those words very clearly, for which we can give thanks. Teyona knew how to disconnect from her body, but stay present. Jay gives her kudos for working a very difficult set. And with that, in the dark, it's a wrap!
Back at home there is Tyra Mail. Someone is getting the boot of Brazilian leather. Allison interviews that her shoot went as good as she could have hoped, but she's still a bit anxious about panel, and also excited. Aminat interviews that she also feels good about her performance, and is certain that it will be rewarded. Teyona says that her call for the final three includes herself, Allison and a mystery third. She's just not sure if it will be Celia or Aminat, since each of them has had good weeks and bad weeks. Celia is feeling pretty good about her shoot, but notes that with only four people left anyone could go. On that ominous note, we head to commercials.
With that, it's panel time! There are prizes, there are judges. And, ugh. Ann Shoket is the guest judge. She waves stupidly, because that's how she rolls. Tyra says that the girls shot in the jungle with "some retired model that likes to think of herself as a photographer every now and then." If only it had been Janice Dickinson. It is my great sadness that she is too constantly drunk and volatile to even guest-star on the show anymore. Allison is up first for critique, and Miss J. notes that she, of all people, should be able to pull off looking like a bird. When Allison's photo appears, there are noises of delight from all of the judges, along with a few cries of, "Gorgeous!" and "Stunning!" Nigel tells her that she's not overwhelmed by the hair and makeup, which is one of the hard things about a shot like this. Ann tells Allison that she's sweet and vulnerable and actually looks like a little tiny bird. Um, excuse me Ann, but that's a tiny birdie-owl-pterodactyl to you. Tyra notes that Allison got this amazing shot in six frames. She was relaxed and elegant and -- yes -- like a baby owl in the nest. Tyra felt like a mama shooting Allison, and was very proud and impressed. Miss J. coos his response in bird speak, and Paulina gets a look that says, "It really is too bad that dancing thing didn't work out."
Teyona is up . Paulina tells her that she looks absolutely glorious from face to body. Nigel, however, thinks that the top of her body is boxy, and he'd love to see her twisting a bit more. At this point in the competition, he says, she should really be finessing her body angles. Paulina totally disagrees. She says that Teyona hasn't been gifted with the best of all bodies, but knows how to fake it in a picture. Now that is a backhanded compliment if I ever heard one! "In this photo, you can hardly even tell that you're deformed!" Ann Shoket agrees with Nigel, but no one cares what she thinks. Miss J. likes Teyona's concave back. Tyra says that in hindsight, she wishes that she would have pushed Teyona harder. Her shot is good, but it's not the best.
Celia is up , and Paulina again gives her kudos for her samba abilities. Nigel thinks that Celia's photo is gorgeous. It's a great pose, and daring for Celia to put her armpit straight to camera. Ann Shoket loves the strength that Celia is conveying and agrees that it's gorgeous. Miss J. says that Celia looks great, but for some reason doesn't look like a spring chicken. Tyra picked this particular photo of Celia because it reminded her of Paulina's bone structure, cheek-wise. She adds that Celia was a pleasure to suit, and says that she saw a fresh girl with strong bones.
Aminat is , and Nigel says that her photo looks exquisite, beautiful, interesting and different. Ann says that Aminat is using all of her strengths -- her legs and arms are doing the right things, and her face is catching the light. Paulina, however, disagrees. She says that, for as great as Aminat's body is, it doesn't look so great in the photo. I agree with Paulina. Miss J. coos that he usually likes a breast and a thigh, but this is a little busted. Tyra was shocked by Aminat. From week to week, she hasn't shown strength in her face. But in front of Tyra's camera, she came alive. She even wiggled her ears! Progress.
The judges deliberate. Allison looks fantastic as a baby bird, and is even quite sexy and alluring. Ann says that Allison has figured out how to use her softness to stand out amidst her competition. Tyra says that fashion is obsessed with youth, and Allison is sure young. Teyona has been on a roll for the past few weeks, but Paulina thinks she's getting complacent. This is the time, she says, when the turtle overtakes the hare. Ann thinks that Teyona wants it more than any of the other girls. But Tyra says that, though she was excited to shoot Teyona, when she got to set the magic and fire weren't there. She's a photo model, but in terms of selling herself in person, Paulina doesn't think she's memorable. Miss J. loves Celia's style, but her pictures are a bit iffy. Paulina says that Celia has beautiful cheekbones, but her mouth is dead awkward. Tyra thinks that Celia knows her angles, and her eye dances upon seeing Celia's pose. Ann says that Celia's body looks perfect in the photo. The face? Not so much. Nigel agrees, saying that she doesn't know how to move her face and has some difficult angles to work with. Celia is primed to become America's Top Mother, according to Miss J. Paulina wants to hire Celia as her stylist. Tyra thinks that Aminat is pretty, but the light doesn't hit her face in a way that's photogenic. However, her drive is attractive. As is her body. With that, the judges have made their decision.
The girls stand before Tyra, who has three photos in her hands. Those photos represent the girls who are still in the running towards becoming America's Top Model. Allison is called first, and her photo is the best of the week. Teyona is called . She's surprised, because she thought she was going to be in the bottom two, and starts crying from relief. This of course leaves Aminat and Celia in the bottom two. Two beautiful ladies, one photo. Tyra enjoyed shooting both of them, but the two girls have something in common -- strength from the neck down. Aminat is a pretty girl with a gorgeous face, but something doesn't work when the light hits her. And then there's Celia. She's also stunning, but the judges wonder if her face is too mature for the modeling industry. So who stays in this competition? Aminat. And, I mean, I guess it was Celia's time to go, but I seriously can't believe Aminat's still in it.
Tyra tells Celia how much she enjoyed working with her, and says that if she wants to be a fashion designer, editor or stylist, she has a great future. Notice she didn't mention "model" in Celia's list of career possibilities. Celia exit-interviews that she loves modeling, and that this whole competition has been so much fun. She's flattered that Tyra thought she was something special, and is proud that she was able to find inner strength to push this far. No matter what she does, she says, she'll be staying in fashion. She hopes it's modeling, but any facet of fashion would be fantastic. I personally think she should consider being on my new idea for a reality show: Old Bag House. It's like Bad Girls Club, but for the over-60 set, and will be hosted by the ghost of Bea Arthur. They put the sex in sexagenarian! In any case, au revoir, Celia, I think we would probably get along really well, and I covet your poufy mustard colored skirt.
week: Finale, suckers!
Discuss this episode in our forums, then see why vloggers Val and Beth think Tyra should accept even older models than Celia in TV is the Answer! And check back soon for the full recap!