By Potes
An hour full of crazy drama begins with the Brits deciding to play a prank on the Americans by ambushing them while they sleep and throwing little balls of paper at them. Oh, the rapier British wit in action. Seymone is NOT PLEASED to be awoken by giggling girls throwing little paper balls at her, and becomes distinctly Hulk-like. She is infused with the power of the haggis! Alisha takes her on, though, and the two get in each others' faces a whole bunch. We never hear about it again, but it is a sign of the madness to come!
Tyra pays a visit to the model house, and fools the girls into thinking she's human. She them proceeds to shill for her book Modelland some more, this time with the added weight of her degree from Harvard Business School. I'm sure this is the last time we'll hear about that. She wants the girls each to have a super power that transforms them from mere models to Intoxibellas -- supermodels that do more than prance around in George Michael videos. Everyone wears a cape and Tyra assigns super powers and super names. She clearly ran out of ideas quickly on this, because for every decent-sounding "Illuminata and "Androgenia" there is an "Excite-to-Buy" and "30-Never." I'll say it again: Excite-to-Buy.
Tyra wants the girls to become supermodel super moguls, and Kelly Cutrone is on hand to administer their challenge and read them to filth. In two teams, the girls must create an ad campaign for Kelly's client, very.com, which is an online British retailer. The theme is love and luxury, and each team has to assign a leader, and people to do wardrobe, hair and makeup, props, and casting of a male model. Annaliese is roundly hailed as a terrible leader of the Brits, though their '60s British Mod theme is cute. Azmarie is actually a pretty competent leader for the Americans, who choose a theme of Punk Love even though for the most part they don't seem to have any idea what punk is. Throughout, Kelly gives tough love -- more like tough hate, actually -- which is appreciated by some of the models, but not all.
The photo shoots for the week are part of the ad campaign, and the girls are supposed to use their supermodel personas in some tangential way. They are working with a two hour time limit, so there's a lot of general chaos. Kelly gets really upset about the fact that Louise is literally running on set, and gives her a stern talking-to that leaves her with a mere three minutes to have her photo taken. Kelly thinks that Louise has one of the worst attitudes she's ever seen, and Louise thinks Kelly is a rotten hag, and they're both right. Despite it all, Louise does manage to kill her shoot. The girls then have to choose which photos will be shown to panel, and in a surprise twist some of them are just as bad as the ones that Tyra herself would have chosen.
And then, panel. Things are regular-dramatic for a while, particularly when the judges give Alisha grief about not picking a particularly good photo to show them. But then they amp up to Intoxibella level as Louise freaks out on Nigel after he says she looks mean in her shot. But she always looks mean! That's just her face! She gets mouthy, and then the judges start on her attitude. Kelly says that Louise was condescending and rude to her on set, and Louise retorts that Kelly was the rude one, and then there is a veritable shit storm. Those two can't get along because they are stank twins under the skin. Louise sucks on her finger for a minute before storming off the set, crying and swearing. [She got ticked off at Cat Deeley, one of the nicest people on the planet. Rude. -- Angel] Her only regret is that she didn't knock out Cutrone while she had a chance. Louise's photo was far from the worst, but since she eliminated herself everyone else is spared, and will live to Excite-to-Buy another day.