Elizabeth gets word from Claudia that General Zhukov has been murdered in Moscow. Retaliation from the Americans and the latest in an escalating series of murders. Moscow has decided to stop the escalation and not retaliate, but Elizabeth is TAKING IT PERSONAL that her mentor was slain, so she decides to go rogue and take out the CIA official who ordered the hit. Philip pretty strenuously objects, but he ultimately falls in line, dons the most ridiculous disguise he can find, and helps her out.
Meanwhile, after a night out with Elizabeth, Sandra is officially over Stan's constant absences from home. Especially when those absences are less and less explainable as "work."
Nina is tasked with logging all possible meetings to take place at the bugged Secretary of Defense's house. She still isn't getting any answers out of Stan when it comes to Vlad's murder, but she manages to keep Stan close despite his desire to break it off now that Sandra suspects he's cheating.
In between multiple flashbacks to various times when Zhukov gave her good life advice, Elizabeth goes through with her mission to rub out the CIA guy. Starting with picking him up in a bar, beating the shit out of him in the bathroom, dragging him to an isolated warehouse, and talking WAY too much once she gets him there. She's clearly acting under extreme emotion, and she ultimately decides against killing him. Instead, she and Philip drop him off, blindfolded, on a bench somewhere, so he can go back and be questioned by the FBI about what he observed. Which seems like the worst of both worlds, but I'm not an elite Soviet spy, so what do I know?
Also, Elizabeth figures out that Claudia probably told her about Zhukov's murderer so that Elizabeth would break protocol and kill him herself. Claudia says it's because she loved Zhukov too. Physically. Elizabeth, however, thinks Claudia is just trying to get her to fuck up so she can crush her. Because Elizabeth is having a bad time of it lately. No worse than when she awkwardly tries to invite Philip to move back home, only to learn that he bought a new apartment. Might as well have just killed the guy, girl.
Previously: Chris Amador was killed, which was apparently the most significant event in the entire Cold War. We saw the last of Gregory; Nina saw the last of poor, sweet doctor-wannabe Vlad; and Elizabeth was constantly asking about her good friend and mentor, General Zhukov, back in Russia.
At the FBI, Special Agent John-Boy is briefing his people about the latest covert retaliation for Agent Chris's stabby demise. In very haughty and flowery terms (including a "there's nothing Cold about this War" cliché), Agent John-Boy walks his team through the as-we-speak assassinations of three incredibly high-level Soviet officials, including one General Viktor Zhukov, head of Directorate S. While John-Boy monologues, we see kindly old General Zhukov at home, reading a book in his grandma-ishly upholstered wingback chair. When the assassin comes a-calling, Zhukov gets the jump on him, but he's a pretty old man and he's soon overpowered. Two silenced gunshots later and it's all over. R.I.P. Grandpa KGB.
After the credits/commercials, Elizabeth shows up to Sandra's house to take her out for drinks on the town. Sandra is clearly not entirely comfortable with these kinds of Banger Sisters antics, but she's allowing Elizabeth to drag her along. Cut to the nightclub, where it seems all of Elizabeth's honeypot missions for the KGB have got her quite studied in the art of partying down. Both women are getting sloppy on Harvey Wallbangers, and, as is this show's custom, Sandra constantly stumbles upon odd discussion topics that are, like, SUPER ironic if you know that Elizabeth is a spy. "Have you ever dated a foreign guy?" "I wonder what I would look like in a wig..." "Do you ever feel not-so-loyal to our home and native land?" Sheesh, Sandra, with all the questions! She then starts idly wondering about the first guy she ever slept with (a Finnish professor) and whether he's a happier guy than Stan is. And THEN she asks Elizabeth if she's ever thought of cheating. At which point, Elizabeth is like, "Even I'm not drunk enough to take that question in stride." They decide that thinking about it is one thing, but doing it another and when Elizabeth asks if anything specifically is wrong, Sandra deflects and Elizabeth is like, "Cool -- let's DANCE!"
While Elizabeth is dancing it up with the skeeves of greater Washington D.C., Philip is at "home" (his shitbag motel), watching Wild Kingdom with his kids and answering inane questions about the nature of Mutual of Omaha's sponsorship of said program. He then offers his boring-ass children a snack, but all he has is peanut butter and (warm) orange juice. The saving grace of this scene is that Matthew Rhys gets to break out his native Welsh accent when goofing on the TV show's narrator for the kids.
Back to the disco! Elizabeth is LIVING FOR IT out on that dance floor, while Sandra just kind of half-steps it and looks on nervously. She's just not ready. Disco is a big step for a married, thinking-about-cheating lady. She does not yet fully love the night life. She is fairly ambivalent on the subject of the boo-gay. Instead, she retreats to the pay phone and calls home. Hoping to get Stan, she instead gets Matthew, who hasn't yet left for The Rocky Horror Picture Show (oh, don't look so surprised; with THAT face?). When he informs her that Dad called and said he'd be home late yet again, Sandra gets more despondent.
Speaking of grim existences, the remaining Jenningses are at the motel vending machines. Exterior hotel vending machines. Of all the indignities, having random passers-by witness your junk-food purchases? Dear God. They also have to watch a grown man peeing across the lot. Philip chastises the man before ushering the kids inside.
Later that night, at the Beeman abode, Sandra sits in the kitchen in the dark, an open bottle of what appears to be crème de menthe on the table. (Okay, probably not, but it probably should be.) Stan finally arrives home and Sandra is loaded (so to speak) for battle. She says she called HQ and they said Stan had left hours ago. WUH-OH! Stan has no excuses beyond "You don't understand"-style stonewalling. Sandra is unwilling to accept that, nor his condescending requests to calm down. Sandra proceeds to have a pretty fucking fantastic freakout on Stan, about his absences, his apparent lying, how he's the only bad guy she sees in this situation and how she can't stand the sight of him. She throws her glass against the wall! Good thing Matthew's at a midnight movie. Oh God, what if he comes home in the middle of this, dressed as... wait, what would be the funniest? Frank-N-Furter? Rocky? Columbia? Columbia. Always Columbia. Sandra is now shoving Stan and really starting to break down into tears. She thinks she's been lying to herself for a while now, maybe all this time. Ultimately, she careens out of the kitchen in mid-sentence, unable to even verbalize how much of a fool he's made of her.
The day, we catch up with Elizabeth and Claudia in the park, seconds after Claudia has informed Elizabeth of General Zhukov's death. Elizabeth is obviously winded. She immediately wants to know who did it. Claudia says that the CIA Director of Planning for the Soviet Union Richard Patterson is reportedly to blame, but Moscow has officially decided to stop the escalation of violence before things get too crazy. Elizabeth finds this unacceptable, and it looks like Claudia's not wild about it either, but the difference is that Claudia follows rules. Not like, ahem, Philip and Elizabeth when it came to Gregory last week. Claudia says they're all lucky that little street shootout didn't bring down the whole operation. And: seriously. Elizabeth is fully "Sorry Not Sorry" about it. The mix of tension, begrudging respect and open hatred between these two is probably the most unambiguously enjoyable aspect of this show, for me. They're both just wolves baring their teeth constantly. Of course, then the show has to go and be dumb and have Claudia call after Elizabeth from about fifteen yards away and have her talk about how Viktor Zhukov was a good man who meant a great deal to Elizabeth, and she hopes Elizabeth will honor his memory by doing the right thing. Excellent covert ops-ing, everybody!
, we have our first flashback to The Story of Elizabeth and Zhukov. Picture it: Gryazi, 1964. Then-Colonel Zhukov asks Elizabeth into his office and asks for an update on her training. She offers a stone-faced "No" when asked if there have been any problems, which seems to be a callback to her rape and how she immediately buried it for the good of the Motherland. Still, Zhukov can tell she's unhappy, and it's at this point that my mind wanders and I begin to wonder if the Iron Curtain gymnasts of this era were subjected to similar check-ins with the top military brass. Tiny little Olga Korbut in her pigtails, assuring Colonel Zhukov that the balance-beam training is going according to plan. Anyway, Zhukov reassures Elizabeth that she and Philip are a good match and that sometimes, relationships forged by circumstance and characterized by care and support can one day transform into love. All this via a metaphor about him and his dog. That man was a poet, no wonder Elizabeth loved him so much.
Back in the present, Philip shows up to work at the travel agency and finds Elizabeth is there, lost in though. She tells him about Zhukov and about the official Moscow party line about non-retaliation. Philip is shocked. He's even more shocked by Elizabeth's stated intention to find the man responsible and kill him, orders be damned. "Elizabeth, you can't..." he begins, but she cuts him off. "No, THEY CAN'T," she says. "And I'm going to make sure they know it."
After the break, Elizabeth fills Philip in on the surveillance intel she's gathered on Patterson. He's proving to be a hard target, keeping irregular routines and running errands at places that are particularly security-adjacent. That said, there is a bar he frequents where he's often spotted leaving in the company of various slatternly women. That seems to be Elizabeth's in, yes? Philip simply tells her she has to forget about this insane plan, particularly the part where she plans to not simply assassinate him, but kidnap him first. She admits that it's because she wants to look him in his eyes before she kills him, which is beyond reckless and Philip tells her so. She tells him the only crazy thing about her plan is the fact that he may end up making her carry it out alone.
At home with the Beemans, Matthew returns and asks where his mom is. Stan says she's out at aerobics "or something." Stan asks about Rocky Horror, but he clearly doesn't understand the edgy social rebellion that comes with throwing toilet paper and toast at a movie screen. Stan also notes with an almost trembling bafflement that Matthew is wearing eye makeup. Matthew's like, "Duh, Dad, it's a drag show. And no, that doesn't make me gay. Not that I would have a huge problem putting you through the hell of thinking that I am. Also get the fuck ready for my Depeche Mode phase because boy, is it ever coming."
At the Rezidentura, Arkady walks into Nina's office, and she's embarrassed that he caught her with her feet up on the desk. I guess when you're just waiting out exfiltration, there isn't much to do with your work day. Arkady's there to fill her in on how they have Secretary of Defense Casper Weinberger's home bugged. He wants to listen in and make note of any upcoming meetings they're having about Moscow, and the assassinations in particular. He then quotes Howard Cosell in welcoming Nina to the "big leagues." He didn't even try for a Cosell impersonation, which is the real shame.
up: The Clark and Martha Show. You got a reprieve last week, so to make up for it, Martha has decided to full-on surrender herself to obsessed-lady caricature. So when Philip knocks on the door, her big ol' face has a giant clown smile on it and she reveals that her parents are there to meet him! Like, remember that Friends episode where the girls all try on wedding dresses and Rachel opens the door to Tate Donovan and he's super freaked out because she's clearly bride-crazy? That's this, except Martha is for real. And Clark shits his pants for about one and a half second before being like, "This is great! I was secretly hoping you'd spring your parents on me in the middle of the day! I was especially hoping that we would all then sit down, toast champagne flutes, and discuss their very Lutheran take on Fiddler on the Roof, which would then naturally lead to questions about my own religious affiliation! Are your parents carbon copies of the tiny old people who terrorize Naomi Watts at the end of Mulholland Dr.? They are? YES!" Clark finally makes up a work excuse to leave, making sure Martha knows what a wonderful, romantic gesture this was today.
Picture it: Geneva, 1971. Elizabeth is pregnant with Henry and talking to Zhukov about it. She bitches about how easy American kids have it compared to her upbringing, where she apparently hand-mashed potatoes into vodka while the wind whipped around and blistered her poor hands. She admits that she hasn't yet told Philip about the baby, and Zhukov correctly intuits that it's because she's keeping her options open with regard to keeping it. Rather than advising her on such a matter, Zhukov instead revisits that dog of his that was supposed to represent Elizabeth's capacity to grow to love Philip. Well, now that dog is dead. Zhukhov tells Elizabeth that we all die alone and before that, all we have is our choices. Nice dancing around actual advice, Viktor.
Back in the present, Elizabeth is in the car, about to head into Patterson's pick-up joint. Her disguise is one of those where we have to take a time out and come up with the perfect description. Kathy Griffin as Sexy Librarian? Little Orphan Annie at the beginning of the "Hot for Teacher" video? Harry, Ron and Hermione had a three-way baby who grew up and moved to the greater D.C. area? This look almost cannot be topped. That is, until Philip shows up, dressed as Kevin Pollak from The Usual Suspects. I don't even think his goatee is fully glued on. He's here to help, though, not to condone. She gives him an out if he wants to bail, but he doesn't take it. He's content to just be here while everything goes to hell and then say "Toldja so" afterwards.
After the break, Little Orphan Keri enters the bar and zeroes in on Patterson. She sits at the bar and stirs her girly drink, waiting for him to pick his song off the juke and meander to the bar. She flatters him with banter about his choice of Pete Townshend over Air Supply, and his haughty dismissal of the band behind "Making Love Out Of Nothing At All" lets me know that he deserves what he's got coming. Once she's done questioning his masculinity via his song choices, she moves on to a casual reference to her recent breakup with her boyfriend. So she's conveniently single. "Relationships are way too much," she says, helpfully underlining a theme, as people on this show often do. More flirting. He invites her back to his table full of tramps, but she turns him down so she can continue with her crossword book at the bar. With her enemy properly disarmed, she goes in for the kill: "What's a four-letter slang word that finishes the sentence 'Do you wanna... ?'" Subtle, Natasha. Very subtle. As is Pete Townshend crooning "Gonna get inside you" during the pregnant pause that follows. Anyway, to the bathroom!
Outside, Philip gets the car into position.
Inside, Elizabeth gets her... you know what? No. Won't do that. But she and Patterson do start aggressively making out, groping and otherwise proceeding with the classic slutty bar sex. Elizabeth manages to retrieve a syringe from her purse, but she bungles the actual injection and now we're off to the races and brawling in the loo. She finally clocks him with the paper-towel dispenser and then opens up the door in order to shuttle him out the window and into Philip's waiting arms. Pete Townshend finds this all very heroic.
Stan and Nina meet up at the slam pad. She still wants answers about Vlad, but Stan's not budging from his IDK stance. When Nina threatens to use her newfound access to start digging into the case herself, Stan kind of snaps at her that it was her own embassy that was offered a swap for Vlad and didn't take it. Which is the wrong tactic here and he knows it, so he quickly changes course to a more soothing voice, trying to get Nina used to the idea that they're never going to find out the truth about Vlad. He also has downshifted into the calm voice, because he needs to bring up the subject of ending their affair. Not because he wants to, but because it's the "right thing to do." Nina sadly says she accepts this, but then she starts telling him about how he's all she has. He says his wife knows, which certainly complicates things. "Family is everything," she allows. And then she gets up and takes off her robe and puts her underwear back on... slowly. Slowly enough that Stan has time to stop her. Can't get out that easy. I'm happy to see indications that Nina is playing Stan, at least partway. It's smart of her and also doesn't make it seem like Stan is this irresistible piece of man.
In an abandoned garage that appears to be housing the Christopher Nolan Batmobile, Elizabeth has Patterson tied to a chair and blindfolded, which is too bad because it means he can't see her badass trench. She stubs out a cig and then embarks upon a Bond villain routine as she starts to talk him through his impending death. Once he realizes she's here to avenge Moscow, he asks if she wants information. No, not information. She wants him to know how it feels to be so close to his own death. She wants to know how it feels to order the deaths of innocent men. Patterson must vociferously object to this definition of "innocent" and says the generals knew the risks. "Like you," she says. Which: fair enough. Patterson then decides that verbal abuse is his path to salvation, so he starts berating Elizabeth, accusing her of being a soulless killer with no allegiances or love in her at all. You wouldn't think a ham-handed technique like this would work, but he gets Elizabeth so rattled that she fires her gun into the wall behind him. He's freaked, but she might be freaked out more.
Elizabeth flees to a back room, where she hyperventilates and paces and generally loses her shit. She just needs a hug, maybe? Philip comes in and asks what happened. When she's clearly too upset to talk, he takes her gun and says he'll do it himself. Because chivalry is not, in fact, dead. Elizabeth stops him, though. She says it's not about Patterson, or even Zhukov. She's freaking out because she was so out of control back there. So un-Elizabeth. Indeed, it was pretty freaky. Philip comforts her, but Elizabeth needs a walk.
After the break, we see Elizabeth has deposited the still-blindfolded Patterson on a city bench somewhere. He looks like an album cover. Cut to Patterson being questioned about his experience by Special Agent John-Boy and Miss Kendall from the CIA. He's pretty upfront about how he got into this mess because he was going to have sex with a woman in the bathroom of a bar. He's also quite observant when it comes to describing his surroundings. Agent John-Boy seems especially interested that there was a woman and a man together. "A couple," is how Patterson characterizes them. The real puzzlement is why they let him go, but that's another question for another day, I suppose.
Picture it: Rome, 1976. Elizabeth and Zhukov are taking in the sights and, per usual, talking about her marriage. Zhukov's words of wisdom this time appear to be telling her to learn from his mistakes. He says he lived for his work, for the party, and now he wishes he'd done things differently.
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