The pre-credits recap of last night's show goes on so long that I start to think that it still is last night. Which would save me a lot of time, to be sure, but it's only four minutes in when Ryan calls out, "This is AmERican Idol!" Somehow he never gets tired of saying that, does he?
Tonight the judges get to enter through the giant sliding doors upstage rather than having to wade through the great unwashed like they did last night. Ryan reminds us that the guys are singing tonight -- or rather, ten of the fifteen of them are. Keith says the selection was "down to the wire in Jennifer's dressing room," an ill-chosen turn of phrase which naturally derails the proceedings for several minutes. Jennifer and Harry also share some thoughts, Harry's consisting mainly of advising the guys not to get thrown off by all the distractions they'll be facing. Those distractions start right away with a montage of the top 15 guys. They all have faces and first names, believe it or not.
Ryan points out Randy Jackson looking smug in the audience and reminds us of how he, Adam Lambert, and Chris Daughtry (though we know it's mostly Adam and Daughtry) have been mentoring the top 30. And then it's time for Keith to call up the first guy who will sing tonight. He talks about the big impression this big performer makes, so it's no surprise when it turns out to be shouter Caleb Johnson. In the clip of his workshop, Randy asks him what he needs to work on, and then tells him to work on it, which is always a sign that you're in the hands of a master. Daughtry works with him on his performance style, particularly his habit of closing his eyes when he sings. Caleb is singing "Stay with Me" by the Faces, and the old Rod Stewart vocal turns out to be a nice match for Caleb's voice and singing style. And he mostly keeps his eyes open. He clearly came to play, as always, and everyone else seemed to have a good time too. Keith says he's a natural who was born with it, and Jennifer agrees with him that it was a great way to start the show and that it's Caleb's time. Harry also agrees, adding that the other guys will have trouble following him. Ryan ironically suggests Caleb bring some energy time, and sends him over to the big blue couches to wait out the rest of the show and just chill. I kind of envy him.
Jennifer and Harry kind of draw out an introduction of someone who could be anyone, until it turns out to be C.J. Harris. That's the guy from Tuscaloosa who survived his face-off in the judgment room with Casey Thrasher (though, to be fair, Casey survived it too). He talked to Randy about going "country-soul" for his performance, and turned down a few hats in the styling session with Adam. Then Daughtry and the movement coach talked him into ditching the guitar for this week. Randy approves of his song choice, "Shelter" by Ray LaMontagne, which should be a red flag. And then, after all that, he ends up onstage with not only his guitar but some kind of Australian bush hat on his head. In other words, every distraction he could think of. Once I get done being annoyed about that, though, I have to admit that his singing isn't bad. Jennifer Paula Abduls about the effect his singing has on her, and Harry says that while he's a great talent, he needs to look out for going sharp pitch-wise. Keith says he can get away with it, and compares C.J. to Dobie Gray and Jonny Lang, which seems obscure at first but then after a moment's thought I realize it's dead on. Then Ryan comes up and happens to mention that C.J. had a root canal the day before. Clearly the Novocain has worn off.
Harry talks about how the guy is a "big entertainer" and how they were down to the last minute on these decisions, but it's no surprise when he turns out to be referring to Emmanuel Zidor. He went into rehearsal of his song, "Best of My Love" pretty confidently, but the clips show him struggling in both vocal and movement rehearsal. So with expectations appropriately lowered, he goes out and hits it, working the hell out of his hips like he's signaling a plane to the gate with them and throwing in a gratuitous "Brrrrap" one time. A vocal one, I mean, not one from between his hips. Harry says he reminds him of the performers he used to see growing up in New Orleans, and advises him to stay in control and sing. Keith agrees, pointing out that the adrenalin pushed his pitch a little sharp throughout. Jennifer says, "I Zidor you," which she's probably been holding onto for a while but doesn't want to risk not getting to use it, especially after that performance. She also has him sing a few lines of "I'm Going Down," which he does much better, so it was nice of her to give him a little mulligan there.
Ryan lets Randy makes some content-free remarks from the audience, which is better than letting him make them from the judges' table all night long. Keith winds up the introduction by saying he and the other judges don't always agree, but the guy was one they agreed on right away. That's Sam Woolf, who Ryan tells us just got into the Berklee College of Music, so at least he's got a backup plan. He had two big issues in rehearsal. One was his difficulty keeping his eyes open and up, and the other is that he's singing David Gray's "Babble On." Yes, I know that's not how it's spelled, but I'm not a fan of David Gray in general, or that song in particular, and this is my witty way of conveying that. I've always considered the song pretty dull, but that was before I saw Sam Woolf performing it. No more of that, please. After it's over, Keith says the people like him, and his voice is money. Jennifer says he's sweet and that the song was a great representation of who he is. I agree, but she means that as a good thing. Harry thinks it was a good song choice, and hopes that Sam will gain more confidence as the season goes on. Ryan asks him about the meaning of the song, and Sam quotes some lyrics to him with no value-add whatsoever. I've already forgotten him.
Coming back, Ryan is in the "lounge" with the guys who have sung so far, and asks Emmanuel how this is different from the Chamber where the others are still waiting. Emmanuel says he doesn't have to throw up here. That's valid. Jennifer calls up the contestant, George Lovett, who I don't remember at all other than the zigzag part in his hair. Adam worked with him a lot on his staging, apparently, and then he comes out for a muted, downer-ish, somewhat rhythm-challenged version of "Grenade" by Bruno Mars. It's somehow oversung and non-melodic at the same time, which is quite an achievement. Jennifer advises him to hold back on the runs, so just imagine what Harry's going to say. Actually, he says it was so passionate that it spun out of control and ended up being rather one-note. Keith also talks to him about song choice and to find something that shows his range and plays to his strengths more. Harry points out that he got boos and Keith didn't, but I don't think Harry noticed the daggers that one of George's relatives was staring at Keith from the audience.
Now Ryan's backstage with the ten guys who are still hoping for a chance to sing tonight, and he quickly interviews Jordan and Malcolm. If the pattern from last night repeats itself, only one of them will still be in the competition by the end of the night. Again, Ryan strolls through the corridor to the auditorium while talking, and lets Harry introduce the guy. Harry makes a joke about the group round's "Backstreet Cowboys" that falls flat, recovering by explaining, "We'll work on colors and shapes ." He could be referring to any one of three guys, including Casey Thrasher or Ben Briley, but the one he means is Dexter Roberts, the farm hand. He worked on "This Old Boy" by Craig Morgan, which he says is pretty autobiographical for him. Daughtry advised him on song choice and making it his own, but it doesn't look like the stylists were able to do a thing with him. He does the song with an acoustic guitar and plenty of vocal twang, performing like he's playing a concert. Harry considers him a "typical modern-day country performer," but worries that there isn't enough to differentiate him from other artists like him. Which after all is kind of what "typical" means. Keith gives Dexter his country bona fides, and agrees with Harry that he needs to find something to make him different. Jennifer isn't worried about that, saying he'll have time on the show to find it, probably. Ryan comments on how Dexter isn't wearing a hat tonight, for the first time. He probably should have, given that his hairline and his eyebrows are pretty much parallel.
We come back to Ryan and the judges goofing off a bit at their table, and Keith explains that the judges have video monitors built into the table, which is why he looks down so much. Too bad the actual performers aren't ten feet from their faces. Anyway, Keith talks about how they let people bring their guitars to the auditions this year, and while some should have left theirs at home, the guy can actually play. Most of the guys in the Chamber figure they're talking about Alex Preston, he of the perma-stinkface, and indeed that's the guy. Meeting with Randy, he says that he plays ten or eleven instruments, and that he's going to be doing "Volcano" by Damien Rice. One of the coaches keeps snapping at him to make eye contact during rehearsal, which is not going to help with his innate shyness, and then Daughtry tells him that he himself still gets nervous when he goes on TV, especially the Idol stage, even to this day. Helpful. Alex is, unsurprisingly, playing his guitar as he sings the song, and both his vocals and playing sound pretty great. He would have this in the bag if this were a radio show. Keith calls it the best song choice of the night, and that it sounded like a song Alex could have written himself. Jennifer likes how it was different from other stuff we've been hearing, and Harry respects how music seems to be Alex's religion, and how he "ended on a nine." Ryan isn't about to let that go without an explanation, even though Alex gets it. So Harry has Alex demonstrate it for everyone on the guitar, how the last note he played was nine half-steps up from the root chord. Did we actually just learn some music theory there?
Jennifer introduces the eighth singer of the night, cringing a bit at the number, but it's Malcolm Allen. He chats with Randy about how he made the transition from singing in church as a child to singing in nightclubs as a…slightly older child. He's aware that he needs to work on his stage presence, as illustrated by clips of him singing while looking at the floor from behind his glasses and from under the hood of his sweatshirt or whatever. Randy sends him right to Adam Lambert, who tells him to over-commit to everything. "Cool beans," Malcolm agrees, and then goes out and sing "Coming From Where I'm From" by Anthony Hamilton. He has taken steps to engage with the audience more, in that he's ditched the hoodie and the glasses and is largely keeping his eyeline relatively level. The singing's not bad either, if you don't mind the old Idol style that Harry's trying so hard to chase out of vogue. Jennifer thinks he could have taken it further, and wanted to feel it more, especially since she knows he has the talent to have pulled it off. Harry busts him on singing the same run over and over again, and for going sharp. He rattles off the names of some famous people who sing sharp on purpose, not counting Malcolm among them, because not only is he not famous yet, he was also not doing it on purpose. Keith riffs on that for a minute before the music cue gets played, signaling the judges are done talking. "I was played off like the Grammys!" Keith protests, and Ryan gives him the go-ahead to make some comments, which are that Keith thinks it would have been better without the band and more focus on the lyrics. Which is weird because I don't think those lyrics even rhymed.
Harry calls out the guy he called "Gumbo" at his first audition: Ben Briley, the dog trainer. Ben makes sure to mention that to Randy, because Dawg. Don't encourage him, Ben. We also learn that Ben's great-grandmother was one of the first women on the Grand Ole Opry, and that his mom was the Taylor Swift of the '70s. What did she do to piss him off? He chats with Daughtry about wanting to do an Allman Brothers tune with an electric guitar. Daughtry and the other coach basically just tell him not to squint too much. Sure enough, he's playing an electric as he sings tonight, and even throws in a lead solo, which is nice to see somebody finally trying, but he probably shouldn't have. As a non-singer, I don't always catch all the missed notes, but as a guitarist, I heard a few just now. Not the best song for him either, burying his twang a bit. Harry goes off on the size of the knot in Ben's bright orange tie, which he says is a Windsor Castle. Keith says Ben's voice is his greatest strength, and as for the guitar solo, he thinks that was probably… the first. Jennifer says he was even better just now than in rehearsal, which she thinks is the sign of a true performer. I think he's just glad he got to sing at all, after spending the last however many weeks wondering if he'd even be in the top 30.
Finally only one slot remains for the six guys still waiting backstage. From among them backstage, Ryan throws it to Keith, who makes them wait even longer talking about how much work they put into picking the top ten. And the last one turns out to be Spencer Lloyd. During the workshop, Spencer was debating whether or not to play his guitar while singing. Adam Lambert and one of the caches told him to go without, whereas Randy thought he should use it. In other words, that's three powerful factors against having the guitar. So he ends up skipping it for the performance, wisely. You know, I've been referring to him as pretty boy Spencer Lloyd all season, and after hearing his singing tonight, I'm going to stand by that. I can't fault his performance style or stage presence, though. Keith didn't think it was his best vocal, but he could see everyone was into it. Jennifer lies that he's here because of his good voice. Harry tells him that his "Say Something" at Hollywood week was his strong suit, but this wasn't. Fortunately Ryan is on hand to cheer him up by presenting him with a handmade banner some fangirls made for Spencer.
Then it's time for the ceremonial presentation of the five losers, including Casey Thrasher, the only Backstreet Cowboy who didn't make it through. There's also that cherubic Jordan kid, that guy named Maurice, and a couple of guys who could switch places in the line between shots and I wouldn't notice. They get to stand there while the judges try to buck them up. Keith tells them they had two great mentors in Chris Daughtry and Adam Lambert, which is a statement I can't imagine even Randy Jackson arguing with. Keith's actual point is that Adam and Daughtry didn't win the competition either, but then neither did Randy. Harry assures them that he's had a million unsuccessful auditions, and their talent will get them through eventually. Just not here.
There's another quick recap of tonight's performances, which unlike the girls' last night actually has a couple seconds of each singer's voice in it. Ryan declares the phone lines open, and tells us that the top ten vote-getters will be named tomorrow, as well as the judges' three wild-card picks. Do you think we could get the judges to pick from the top vote-getters and maybe have a few weeks off the season that way? Just asking.
M. Giant is a Minneapolis- based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.