We're starting off tonight with Harry airing one of his pet peeves to an auditorium full of contestants: people bitching about being sick before they sing. "This is show business… I don't care. Just suck it up." And the onscreen titles warn that with everybody being one performance away from the Top 30, it's "No More Mr. Nice Guy." Oooooh, Top 30!
After the credits, Ryan drops a couple of bombs. One is that the Top 15 guys and the Top 15 girls will be chosen this week, and the other is that the live shows start week. Barely a month after the premiere? This season isn't wasting nearly as much time as it usually does.
In fact, we get rushed through a montage of the solo performances that have already taken place since the group round we saw last week. Some of them were sent home right away, but the rest will have to go -- one at a time -- through the harrowing ordeal of an elevator ride from the holding room to a nearly empty ballroom. There, the judges sit perched on director's chairs, across from another chair that will serve as the hot seat. Ryan polls the hopefuls on who wants to go first, but their responses are moot because the first person he calls up is Emily Piriz, 17. She's been pretty low-key from what we've seen of her so far, but now we see that yesterday she did a nice job on Grace Potter's "Stars" while playing keyboards… at least until the chorus, which got a little shaky. Still, the judges were impressed with her overall, including her look. Eventually she gets to clump to the hot seat on her too-high heels, where she answers Harry's query about her heritage (Cuban) before Jennifer starts to ease into the news that the guys don't always agree with her… but they did this time, so she's in the Top 15. As Emily returns to the elevator, Jennifer is glad to know there's a Latina in the mix. The name Piriz wasn't a clue?
Pretty-boy Spencer Lloyd Is the to face the judges, and Jennifer says he started out as one of Hollywood Week's frontrunners. We flash back to his performance of "Say Something" back on Day 1 before fast-forwarding a bit to yesterday's solo round, where he did an original song that wasn't so great. It was like if Jason Mraz contributed a song to Free to Be… You and Me and only had twenty minutes to write it. Jennifer says they take everything into consideration, but their decision -- which Jennifer doesn't share until after the ads -- is that he's still in it. He will live to sandbag his competition another day.
Jillian Jensen is up , and she also went original for yesterday's solo round. She's the one who was on The X Factor Season 2, and she appears to have figured some shit out since then. But not everything. She perches awkwardly on the hot seat and Harry starts talking about how hard this is… for the judges. He stretches it out for a bit, but he doesn't know the way I do what a hair-trigger crier she is, so when the tears start spilling he cuts it short and breaks the news that she is indeed in the Top 15. She hugs all three judges, which is a spectacle with Jennifer in particular, given that they're both wearing black-and-white leopard-skin tops. I would have thought that after her debacle against CeCe Frey in 2012, Jillian Jensen would be done with leopard spots for life.
Madelyn Patterson is , and she lets slip in an interview that she's already made the Top 48, which tells us that 29 people were summarily canned in the day's solo round. She's glad to have come this far, which you can tell by how she's crying. In the flashback to her solo, she showed off a bit of bluesy gospel edge. It's Keith's turn to make the big, long, could-go-either-way speech, but in this case Madelyn is done. She'll probably be getting back to crying fairly soon.
Also ousted are the barely-remembered Michael Simeon, LaBryant Crew and Sabrina Lantini, who precede George Lovett into the judging room. He's nervous, but his version of "I Won't Give Up" got him into the Top 15, which they show before showing us the standing ovation he got from Keith and Jennifer, because otherwise that would have been kind of a giveaway.
After the ads, Ryan tells us a little more about the day's round, in which they could either sing a song from a list with the band or do an original by themselves. One of the performers who went the latter route is Connor Zwetsch, 20, who Harry quietly busted to the other judges for singing a semi-ripoff of "Sweet Home Alabama." Sam Woolf was another one who went original, but he was smart enough to alert the judges in advance that it was about being abandoned by his mother. The judges are captivated by it in the moment, clearly. On to the judging room the day, when Jennifer says they're looking for someone who could be the American Idol, and they think he could be it. Jennifer's happy for him and so is his family when he rejoins tem outside the room. Especially his grandfather/booking agent, who's job is either going to get a lot easier or go to someone else entirely after all this is over.
A couple of familiar, but nameless young women get shot down, and then it's time for Keri Lynn Roche to head in there. Yesterday he did an awkward-looking but decent-sounding version of "I'd Rather Go Blind." The judges tell her it was close, but it's a no. At least she got her name on the screen one more time, unlike those last two.
Moving on, Ryan gives us the total so far -- three guys and two girls -- before calling up Malaya Watkins, she of the glasses and braces and the tuba-playing in marching band. We're reminded of her ordeal with group "Loud and Fierce," and yesterday during her solo performance, Harry stopped her so she could get in the right key with the band. Once that was sorted she sounded much better, but usually that's something you prefer to have sorted before you start. She wrapped it up well enough to make up for it, though, which is saying something. She comes into the judgment room and corrects Harry on the pronunciation of her name (which means "freedom"), which Harry actually appreciates because she's in the Top 15 after all. And then she dances out of the room in a way that Harry is only too happy to mimic. Freedom!
Maurice Townsend is the to face the judges. He belted out "Wrecking Ball" with a straight face yesterday, which the judges appreciated. Keith goes on some more about how hard it is for the judges, and while Maurice is a good singer, they need other things… including Maurice. The judges are certainly doing a lot of hugging today.
Oh, and guess who else showed up during the solo round yesterday? Randy Goddamn Jackson. Get away from this show, Randy. Get away now. He yells and repeats himself a lot, and then Harry and Keith do a fake little audition for him to keep him from talking more and ruining the show again like he did for twelve seasons.
Bria Anae keeps up a running commentary all the way up the elevator, and finds the walk to the hot seat so long she speeds up to get it over with. The judges apparently loved her version of "It's a Man's Man's Man's World" yesterday, and spend little time telling her she's in. Then it's Jessica Meuse, whose group round was a total fiasco on every level. She was one of those who did an original yesterday, which she told the judges was written about an idiot. It had a pretty powerful Neko Case vibe to it, and for some reason, she's going in to see the judges along with Jesse Roach, who gave a rather weak-for-this-stage performance of "Wide Open Spaces" by the Dixie Chicks yesterday and ended it with a "sorry." The two Jessicae head in to take two director's chairs, and Jennifer says there's a problem "with the two of you." Harry "elaborates" that there are only so many seats, and this one was so close that they'll need to sing again right now. If by "right now" he means "after the ads."
Downstairs, Ryan explains this to the people still in the holding room, where everyone -- including Ryan himself -- is acting like this is an air raid or something. Jessica Meuse goes first, her voice sounding a little rough and unprepared on a Skynyrd tune. And Jesse is going with "Do Ya," and today she does much better. The judges send them to go chill in a far corner while they debate. Harry's for Jessica, Jennifer for Jesse and Keith is on the fence as usual. After the whispered conference concludes, the judges call them back to say they're both extraordinary and talented, but Jessica's going through and Jesse isn't. They both take it pretty well. Especially Jessica.
Farmhand and country singer Dexter Roberts is pretty nervous in front of the judges, and Keith talks to him about authenticity. In a clever bit of editing he gets on the elevator without our hearing the answer. He almost breaks down on the ride back to the holding room, but when he emerges, it's with a triumphant whoop. So I think we can guess how that went.
Emmanuel Zidor, who you may recall as the flamboyant ramp agent from the Atlanta airport, did some gratuitous r-rolling during his solo performance yesterday, but got away with it and Harry even suggested he have a walk-off in high heels with Jennifer. Somewhat surprisingly, Emmanuel doesn't already own heels, and says that Jennifer will have to buy him some. His version of "I'm Goin' Down" went down quite well, but he's still traumatized from group round, which the editors play for us like a Vietnam flashback. He's in tears the moment he shows up in front of the judges, even before they say a word to him. Overcome, he talks about how amazing it is to be here, and Jennifer says that's what makes it so hard. But not in this case, since Emmanuel is in the Top 15. And Jennifer says she'll bring him the shoes time she sees him. And then Ryan picks him up when he returns to the holding room, nearly killing both of them. If he tries that when Emmanuel's in high heels it could be a bloodbath.
We return in the middle of MK Nobilette's rambling conversation with the judges about bonding with other singers and all that happy crappy, then flash back to her performance yesterday. It seems somewhat flat and arrhythmic to me, but Jennifer and Harry were into it for some reason. Back in the judging room, she admits that she's not the typical American Idol, and in fact she comes right out and says, "I'm very obviously gay." She's not the first contestant on this show who is, but she's the first one I can remember being allowed to actually say it on camera. She and the judges agree that the world is changing, so they're sending her through to the top 30. After she hugs them all, Keith repeats, "The world is changing." Yes, we've got a gay contestant on American Idol who said she's gay. Well, maybe now Ryan will come out someday.
On to recent nursing grad Kristen O'Connor, who sang "Unconditionally," showing off her ability to put the emphasis on the wrong syllable. In front of the judges, she admits that her group performance didn't go as well as some of her others. As to whether she's staying or going, it looks like that's up to Twitter. Well, not really, because Twitter always thinks people are staying, and in this case… Twitter is right. The vote was overwhelming, in fact, which tells me that the Twitter poll results might actually be accurate if you just shift twenty to thirty percentage points from the yes side to the no side.
Ryan partners up with some flashy election-night graphics to tell us how far we are on this process: 7 girls are in, and 6 guys have made it far enough to reach the Top 15 for each gender. Jordan Brisbane, the cherubic kid from Savannah, Georgia, seems confident that he'll be one of the ones. Yesterday's "Halo" went quite well for him, and today it's his sixteenth birthday. Keith softens him up by saying they've had to say no to a lot of people, and Jordan hasn't gotten a lot of those yet. And today, that streak continues. Along with a lot of "Happy birthday" jokes.
Casey McQuillen from the Omaha auditions heads in and gets a no, though Harry says he's proud of her for perfecting her craft. Nica NaShae is also done for this year, despite Jennifer pulling for her. The theme seems to be good people getting sent home anyway, and the judges are happy to flog it.
It's time for another two-fer: Leah Guerrero and Andrina Brogden, and one of them is staying and one is going. The judges have lumped them together for reasons I don't fully grok, but during their auditions yesterday, Harry figured that Andrina is what Leah wants to be. And sure enough, Leah is out and Andrina's in. But Leah tried so hard to be cool! That's all over now as she cries in the judges' arms. And then Andrina has to talk about how terrible and amazing this is as Leah walks behind her. And yes, the judges are getting worn down by all this too.
Then we go back in time to the first Hollywood round, at 11:40 AM, with 170 contestants remaining for only 30 spots. I know this because words on the screen tell me. Malcolm Allen sings something a capella, and then we're back on "Final Judgment Day" at 5:25 PM, with 26 contestants waiting for only 16 spots. Again, that's the onscreen text giving me an assist, not just me guessing. Malcolm gets on the elevator, and there's a dreamy little video circle in there to him, showing impressions of him at other stages of the competition: getting a triple-yes from Jennifer at his first audition, getting reamed after his group round, and his internal monologue as he takes the long walk across that ballroom. And then… we get to hear his solo round performance from yesterday of "I'm Goin' Down." Harry voiced some doubts about his marketability to Jennifer, who claimed she remembers him every time. We get to hear his whole song as he drops to his knees at the end, and then we're back with him in the hot seat. I can't imagine spending all that editing capital on someone who's going to get the boot, but he doesn't know that. Obviously he's making it through.
Alex Preston, the guy with the expression like he's constantly about to throw up, comes into the judgment room with his guitar. For some reason. Is it surgically attached to him? If so, it's a good thing he knows how to play it. He seems to have done well yesterday, per the long clip of his performance we get to see. As he sits down with his guitar, Keith compares him to Linus with his security blanket, which Keith can relate to. They all agree that he's got kind of a different thing going on. Keith says they can't take everyone and heaves a heavy sigh before telling him he's in the Top 30. Looks like bringing the guitar in worked, plus they have something to joke about on his long hike out of the room.
Country singers and young dads C.J. Harris and Casey Thrasher are another pair that has to head up in the elevator together, so it's not looking good for one of them. Turns out they live 40 miles apart, and both auditioned during the Idol bus tour in Tuscaloosa. They both seemed to do well yesterday, with the advantage tilting toward C.J. in my personal opinion. Harry talks about how much they have in common, which is probably why they're in here together in the first place, getting to do the gladiator thing. C.J. volunteers to go first, and as if that weren't ballsy enough, he busts out "Whipping Post." Who does an a capella version of a song that's in 11/8 time? Casey sticks to his country roots, and while he sings C.J. is looking defeated already. The two Alabamans are sent off to the corner to talk some more about how much they have in common while the judges make up their minds. In the end, Harry starts speaking to Casey, and says that in the end, he--
To be continued! We'll have a Top 30 by the end of tomorrow night, and only one of those guys will be in it. Sucks for the other one. And what does it say about how improved this show is that I actually trust that one of them is out of luck?
M. Giant is a Minneapolis- based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.