In case you're new to this season, Ryan reminds us that thousands auditioned, but only a few made it through to this, the Hollywood stage of the competition. The editing in the preview is too fast to follow, but it's looking like it'll be so dramatic that actual ambulances will be involved. So exploitative. Let's watch!
The episode starts a little creepy, with young women being awakened in their beds by camcorders being jammed in their faces at ungodly hours of the morning. That leads to a montage of other contestants packing up and leaving, some of whom I even vaguely remember from the last three weeks. They fly, they land, they step off buses, and the girl who lives in a tent tells us from her hotel room that this is like a dream. Walls and a bed, I know, right?
Ryan tells us that half of the contestants will be performing today, and they all pile into the auditorium. The judges are the first to take the stage, because it's really all about them, and Steven gives the "courage" speech from The Wizard of Oz, which is his version of a pep talk. Jennifer also makes a few remarks, and Randy just yells, "Season Eleven is on!" Encouraging. I don't think it really hit me until now that these are all the judges we're getting. I think at some level, I subconsciously believed that real judges would show up at some point, but these three appear to be it.
From the balcony, Ryan explains that contestants will come out onstage in groups of ten, sing a song of their choice a capella, and get no feedback. But for half of them, it'll be sudden death today. The first group we see includes soul singer/waiter Johnny Keyser from the St. Louis auditions, and Heejun from the Pittsburgh auditions. One of them is nervous, and one of them is not, and the latter is still Heejun. Johnny sings "Dreamin'" by Amos Lee. He works the microphone like an instrument, and easily wins over the crowd, even though he's extremely hot. That puts Heejun in even more of a state. He's feeling totally out of his league among all these tall, pretty people, but when it comes time to sing, he belts out "How Am I Supposed to Live Without You" like he's known exactly what he's been doing all along. Heejun might be working the modes angle a little too hard.
Quietly, from the wings, Ryan tells us that after each group, the judges will make a decision about each contestant in the group and tell them right then before they even leave the stage. The judges make them all stand there while they talk about them. Randy asks Johnny, Heejun, and someone named Gabby to step forward, so they're moving on. "Guess who's really pretty now?" Heejun asks. Don't worry, he'll be psyching himself out all over again by tomorrow.
, we see a smoky-voiced shouter from Charleston named Elise Testone, who we briefly saw in Savannah. Baylie Brown is also back, although now she's Baylie Blonde. And there's Hallie Day, who I remember from early on before all these people started running together. Looks like the whole group is through, or at least those three blondes are. Gotta have the blondes on this show, you know.
Ryan is creeping around backstage among the tense contestants at 10:02 AM, talking to us in a voice like he's telling us they've been replaced with Folger's Crystals and misusing the term "nerve center," which he apparently thinks means "place full of nervous people."
That segues into the (re?)introduction of Jen Hirsh, who has to remind herself not to fidget. Her rendition of Patti Griffin's "Up to the Mountain" has Jennifer remarking on something Jen has that too many other singers don't bother with: "Melody." The other nine in her group also perform, including Lauren Gray, who sings the same Adele song she sang in the initial auditions until Randy has to all but jump out of his seat to signal her stop. Lauren and Jen are through, as are some other members of their group we'll probably never see again. I guess we're overdue for some suck, because we hear some shaky snippets from Heather Youmann, Sascha Julian and Candice Russell, which leads into a montage of other chicks crashing and burning.
We come back at 12:15, and Steven heads backstage to tell everyone to amp up the drama. Steven, you're not supposed to do that on camera.
He returns to his actual job just in time to hear the group, which includes Phillip Phillips, the guy who Dave Matthews-ized "Thriller" in Savannah. In his contestant-cam segment, he tells us this will be his first time on a plane -- except the one he once jumped out of. Onstage without his guitar, he grinds out "Papa's Got a Brand New Bag."
is Reed Grimm, the kid from Wisconsin who's been his family band's Chris Partridge since age two. Again drawing from the visual arts from his song choice (you may recall he entered with the theme from Family Matters), he's singing the apropos "I've Got a Golden Ticket" from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. It's all jazzy and scatty and not entirely well-advised, but he gets a standing ovation from the crowd in the auditorium.
is Travis Orlando, who didn't make it past round one of Hollywood week last year. Alas, he's still homeless and abandoned by his mother, but at least he's been practicing. "Season Eleven is my year, "he tells us, as though that's not a terribly sad thing to say. He sounds okay, though.
Phillip and Reed are moving on, but Travis is told, "Not this year." Ouch. "I gotta go back to nothing, nothing at all," he tells us tearfully. Well, there's always year. And the . And the .
Cue the montage of emotional ejectees, including Ramiro Garcia, the man born without ears; Wolf the rockabilly mechanic; and Steven-kissing blonde Jenny Schick. They were just a few of the 68 losers who got the boot on Day One.
On to Day Two. The judges are relaxed and banal as always when they arrive, but the contestants are nervous, with the notable exception of Adam Brock, a Barenaked Ladies-looking dude who sang "Stormy Weather" in Pittsburgh so well that I don't remember him at all, even with the aid of a flashback. He'll be missing his baby daughter while he's in Hollywood, but he's sucking it up and singing "Walking in Memphis" at Jennifer's request. He sounds pretty amazing.
Then it's on to Jane Carrey, who, as in San Diego, may or may not have been allowed to walk right in at an appointed time rather than waiting with everyone else. After she sings a CCR song, it's decision time for this line, and Jane's part of the group that steps forward, while Adam stays where he is, and it's the back row that gets to stay. So Jane's done, although she did get further than she would have done if her last name didn't have two Rs in it. She's pretty bummed about it, but she tells us she talked to her dad, who, after all, knows a little something about rejection, particularly after nobody went to see his last half-dozen movies.
Adam, on the other hand, gets to Skype his family with the happy news that he isn't coming home yet. Congratulations?
Montage of people begging the judges for another chance, and then we're reintroduced to Mr. Steal Your Girl himself, David Leathers. Ryan creepily talks to him backstage about the girls there, which has nothing to do with the fact that Shannon Magrane, who Steven skeezed all over in front of her baseball player dad in Savannah, is also in the group. She sings "Fallin'" in a way that seems to make Jennifer forget where she is. Then David sings "Because You Loved Me," complete with plenty of the Celine Dion high notes that bring the audience to their feet. is Jessica Phillips, whose boyfriend the stroke victim is here with her in L.A. He watches her nervously from the front of the house while she sings, but she, David, and Jessica are all through, as are glitter chick Angie Ziederman and Brittany Kerr, the NBA cheerleader.
We go to commercials, and I'm beginning to suspect that someone might just be falling off the stage later. I don't really have anything to base that on, other than the fact that it's been on every promo for the show and before every commercial break of this episode, but sometimes you have to go out on a limb.
Coming back, it's all about the Pittsburgh auditioners, including "mobile DJ" Erika Van Pelt, who sings a lot of notes; squeaky-voiced street busker Creighton Fraker; and music teacher Aaron Marcellus, all of whom will be back tomorrow.
The group includes Lauren Mink, who works with disabled adults. Excuse me, I mean different disabled adults than the ones on this show. She sings "Alone" by Heart, and Jennifer quietly busts her on changing keys mid-song. At this point, I'm more worried every time someone on stage takes a step forward. One Jeremy Rosado is also in this group, and although we didn't meet him in Savannah (or any of the other audition cities, for that matter), we get to see his initial meeting with the judges, when he earned the nickname "Dirty" because of his job at the front desk of an infectious disease clinic. He sings "Superstar" while Jennifer shows Steven the goose bumps on her arms.
We also meet Symone Black, who's sixteen with a creepy stage dad, here to sing "Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay." While she's singing, Randy waves her down and asks why she chose that song, and she says she was looking to reach out to an "older audience." Of course, at sixteen, everyone in the room is older than her. Also, her dad totally picked the song. Oh, and you want to feel old? Otis Redding died at age 26. You're welcome.
Anyway, Randy, who always has to say the most obvious thing in any given situation, acts mock-offended that she thinks they're old. At first she just giggles awkwardly, then suddenly starts stumbling around like she's drunk, and steps clear off the stage, landing heavily in the orchestra pit a full...well, five feet below. She did not land at all well, though.
Her dad in the audience rushes forward, and crew members surround her in seconds, but the judges don't even come from behind the table. Randy's the only one even on his feet, while Steven looks down at the injured child like he's watching a sad feature story on the evening news. While crew members gather around her, someone who might be Nigel calls for a medic, and Ryan rushes in from somewhere to rubberneck, the credits roll, minutes after the scheduled ending of the show. So really, American Idol, you're the last one to be making a big deal out of people spilling over off the allotted space.
By M. Giant
We also meet Symone Black, who's sixteen with a creepy stage dad, here to sing "Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay." While she's singing, Randy waves her down and asks why she chose that song, and she says she was looking to reach out to an "older audience." Of course, at sixteen, everyone in the room is older than her. Also, her dad totally picked the song. Oh, and you want to feel old? Otis Redding died at age 26. You're welcome.
Anyway, Randy, who always has to say the most obvious thing in any given situation, acts mock-offended that she thinks they're old. At first she just giggles awkwardly, then suddenly starts stumbling around like she's drunk, and steps clear off the stage, landing heavily in the orchestra pit a full...well, five feet below. She did not land at all well, though.
Her dad in the audience rushes forward, and crew members surround her in seconds, but the judges don't even come from behind the table. Randy's the only one even on his feet, while Steven looks down at the injured child like he's watching a sad feature story on the evening news. While crew members gather around her, someone who might be Nigel calls for a medic, and Ryan rushes in from somewhere to rubberneck, the credits roll, minutes after the scheduled ending of the show. So really, American Idol, you're the last one to be making a big deal out of people spilling over off the allotted space.
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.
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