Jordin and her hair made of magic look gorgeous beyond belief, and she sings Pat Benatar's "Heartbreaker" with a few bum notes but many, many more fantastic ones. Randy immediately gets to crapping on the boys by way of comparison. Sabrina dips into soundtracks from lady bank robber movies for her song, En Vogue's "Don't Let Go." She's a great singer, of course, and I totally want her to stick around, but Simon points out that she could be in trouble if her personality doesn't start showing up on stage. Antonella abducts Corrine Bailey Rae's "Put Your Records On" and does bad, bad things to it...in a ladies' bathroom THERE I SAID IT. Happy now, Frenchie? Simon's actually really kind to her while laying out the realities of life and the limitations of her talent for her, and she's snotty and clueless in response, so then Simon indirectly calls her trashy. It's kind of awesome. Haley books her plane ticket home with some incredibly dumb Faith Hill song, and while Randy and Paula tiptoe around that fact, Simon lays some truth on her, and then when Ryan takes the stage, we get some primo keeping it real from, like, everyone. It's jarring to see. Stephanie's "Sweet Thing" soared too close to Chaka Khan's sun for Simon and Randy's tastes, and she manages to be just boring enough to make me nervous. LaKisha...shares a profoundly weird relationship with Ryan. Then she dips into that infernal Bodyguard soundtrack for Whitney's "I Have Nothing." It's not one-eighth as exciting as her performances the past two weeks have been, but vocally it was the most she's impressed me all season. The judges consider crowing her the winner right now. Gina Glocksen, in my opinion, pulls her ass out of the fire by rocking out some Evanescence and running full-speed into the rocker chick box the judges so enthusiastically want her in. Simon really wants her in the top 12, America. Please oblige. Melinda Doolittle is a woman, W-O-M-A-N, and she once again comes to life onstage, this time strutting and being kind of...vampy? I know! She even makes OCD sound great. Going home? Haley, for sure. And...dare I say Antonella? We can all hope. But don't freak out on me if it's Sabrina or Stephanie.
Ryan rattles off a whole bunch of numbers at us, to start: 8 contestants, 31 million viewers, 1 last chance to make the top 12 2morrow night. And then Ryan says Paula isn't here, which makes my stomach drop, because maybe she's had a relapse and is in an abandoned warehouse right now and she needs our help! Or maybe she's on the can. Who knows? Credits.
The top eight girls parade past the camera and into the RC Cola Lounge as follows: Jordin puts her spirit fingers and her big, beautiful face all up in your business. Sabrina and Antonella copy the spirit fingers bit as well, but Haley opts for a single-handed wave, probably because that's how she saw one of the princesses do it at the Disney World parade that one time. Stephanie blows a kiss, LaKisha waves like a visiting dignitary from the land of Slamdunkistan, Gina makes fists because she a bad-ass rocker bitch this week. And Melinda may or may not be dressed in camouflage colors this week, but I can't tell, because she's invisible from the neck down. Which makes for one giant head to be floating around like that. It's a floating head that can out-sing everyone else in this competition, though.
Ryan introduces the Dawg Pound and once again teases the "most important and groundbreaking" charity event that's going to get announced tomorrow night. And then it's to the judges! Paula's there, thank God, and Simon has far too many buttons unbuttoned on his shirt. No one needs to see your décolletage, dude. Simon jokes that Paula was "under the desk" a minute ago, which is simply a drunk reference, and we're used to those, but then Randy's like, "She had to get something for me," which throws things into blowjob overdrive, and Ryan would like to avoid that subject if at all possible. If by "avoid" you mean "hop around like a little girl because he's so excited that someone else is bringing the innuendo for once." He's all, "It's a family show!" and "Don't go there!" and "TMI!" and "Live television!" and so forth. Ryan then adds that Simon apparently didn't know last night's show was live, which is a big deal for Ryan Seacrest, who lives inside your picture tube and who nourishes himself on things like hitting your mark and getting the show in on time, but I'm not sure if Simon would give a good goddamn either way.
Jordin Sparks is up first, and we're still doing those dumb My Super-Special Secret clips like we did with the guys. Jordin's big secret is that she loves football. I know! With the dad who was a pro cornerback for the Giants, who'd have thought? And not only is Jordin a super-fan, but she also for a time thought she wanted to play football rather than sing. And scoff all you want, boys, but take one look at Jordin Sparks and tell me you'd like to see her running full-steam at you, all six-feet-seven of her with her shoulders squared and the fire in her eyes. Didn't think so. By the way, I think I've defected into the Jordin camp as far as whose hair truly has magic and restorative properties. Sorry, Sanjaya. You blew it with the flat-ironing. Onstage, we see she's chosen to sing Pat Benatar's "Heartbreaker," a song I love from an artist I love sung by a contestant I love, which should all add up to...something better than what occurs, frankly. Jordin's not bad, but she's flat way more than she should be. And she's bailed out by the backup singers at least once. She stills pulls off some awesome notes, and she's a great performer for your eyeballs, but this is the second straight week I was waiting for her to blow the doors off the place and she didn't. Pick it up week, Jordin! Please! She does, however, hit the high note at the end, and Ryan assures us we're live, so the fact that her voice keeps going after she drops her mic at the very end is some kind of echo effect, I suppose.
Randy says it's "weird" because of how the girls are always so much better than the boys. "It's like a different show," he says. He talks a mile a minute while acknowledging the pitchy spots and that it wasn't Jordin's best performance, "but it was still better than ALL the guys!" Paula loved Jordin's energy and tells a lie when she says Jordin's getting "better and better and better each week." She sees Jordin "coming into her own artistry," which is a bit of the Paula we know and love. Simon says he's not as enthused as everyone else. He found it "a bit manic" and "shrieky" in the middle. I have to say, those weren't my problems with the performance at all. I thought foremost that she was flat in spots she shouldn't have been. I think what Simon found "shrieky" in the middle of the song was...the song. That's kind of how it goes. He does say that Jordin will "100% be here week." Ryan takes the stage and cranes his neck to be able to speak to her. She bounces around and is goofy and seventeen for a bit while Ryan reads her numbers. Then she lowers herself to Ryan's height as she did last week, and it's still funny.
Ryan's on the couch with Gina and Sabrina when we return from commercials. Ryan asks Gina if all the praise the girls have been getting is a blessing or a curse. Gina blah-blahs something about feeding off of each other and raising their games, and Sabrina admits that everyone's nervous because a full quarter of them won't be here week. Of course, looking back in hindsight, the blessing/curse debate is pretty significant for Sabrina, who lost out because she got lost in the shuffle of the awesome girls. We then kick it to Sabrina's super-secret video, where she tells us that she used to do the news broadcasts at her high school, because she wanted to be "the Katie Couric." We see lo-fi footage of these broadcasts, and it's generally funny in its AV Club way (there isn't a star wipe, but you know there should have been), but not specifically funny in that she's wearing neon and has giant braces or anything. We also learn that she used to have a different last name, and see, THAT would have been a secret worth telling. Why'd she have to change her name? Is she an international jewel thief? Because that might lose her votes in the Bible belt, but it might make her far more popular with teens, because...oh, it's because she's married, isn't it? Because she's old like everyone else this year. Well, that's no fun. Way to be a buzzkill, factual truth.
Down on the stage, Sabrina's singing the vaguely familiar first notes of what turns out to be En Vogue's "Don't Let Go." Which I mainly remember as coming from that sci-fi movie where Queen Latifah played a lesbian bank robber. That's was sci-fi, right? I mean, Queen Latifah as a lesbian? Come on. It's a good song, though I can see where it might present problems in that it sits in that no-man's land between "current" and "appropriately nostalgic old-school." As we learned with Sundance (though I suppose not with Blake), the mid-'90s are a minefield. In addition, Sabrina remains a great singer, but her voice is not as full as I'd like it to be. There are times when she's a little squealy. Not that she's not easily among the best half dozen boys or girls this year, but you can see where this could cause her problems.
Randy still really likes her, but you can tell he's struggling to come up with something to say. It was okay, it wasn't your best, it's still pretty good and you're picking decent songs but it didn't blow him away. Paula is decidedly more pro-girl this season, telling Sabrina she can "sing, sing, sing" and praising her "instrument." Her voice, pervs. Simon notes a lack of the kind of emotion he sees in Melinda, LaKisha, and Stephanie, who Simon sees as Sabrina's "main competitors." He says the song choice lent itself to a "hotel resort" vibe, but mostly she hasn't injected a whole lot of personality into her songs, which could get her into trouble when it comes to distinguishing herself from the other girls. Ryan takes the stage and clarifies that Simon does stay in very nice hotels and resorts, so there's that. He then asks the judges if Sabrina does indeed belong in the Top 12. All three say "yes," none more enthusiastically than Simon.
Antonella's big super-secret...has been all over the media for weeks. To the point where she is apparently a threat to our civil rights just by showing up on TV every week. Anyway, her fake TV secret suitable for public consumption is that she plays the violin. Well, no wonder she started taking her top off and let her friends take pictures of it, if her parents made her play the violin. Add that to the Catholic college thing, and it was almost inevitable. Down on the stage, Antonella's chosen to sing Corrine Bailey Rae's "Put Your Records On." This would make it the second time this TV season that I've recapped Corrine Bailey Rae, which I think means she's stalking all the shows that I watch, like she's Snow Patrol or Eric Balfour. Here's the thing about Antonella: she's not a good singer, but for the last two weeks, she's been more bland and mediocre than anything else. Tonight? She sucks. Suuuuucks. Notes dropping like flies, her voice going flat at a moment's notice, unconvincing stage movements, it's a total mess. This is where she starts pissing me off. Take all the cheesecake pics you wish, I could give a shit. Don't make me listen to something ugly.
Randy praises the song choice, because he has to, because they basically held her down and made her promise to stop singing songs that are too big for her. He also praises the ending, and rightly so, because she held that last note really well. He calls it "a little pitchy" in the middle, which is far too kind, but that's what it's gonna take to get rid of her, so whatever. Paula definitely thinks Antonella picked the right song, but she continues to have problems at the bottom of her range. Simon kind of throws his hands up, because what can he say at this point? She's up against better singers who outperform her. That's essentially what he says, and he phrases it carefully, so that it's not Antonella's fault, but she's about seventh or eighth in the pecking order right now, because the rest of the girls are really good. "And I feel for you," he continues, Going There when I didn't think he would, "because you've taken a lot of stick in the media, I think you've handled yourself well throughout, and I don't think anyone should be put in that situation." He just wishes she could sing better. See, that is how you soft-pedal someone into an elimination. Good to know Simon remembers how it's done. Ryan steps up and asks her if, given the caliber of the rest of the girls in the competition, she feels like she deserves a place in the finals. "I just have a different style than them," she justifies, "and I'm not comparing myself to them, and I wish the judges would stop comparing me to them." I feel you, girl. I mean, hey, if she wanted to be endlessly compared with these other girls, she'd have entered a competition with them, am I right? Ryan gives her a second chance to stop acting like an asshole, but she digs herself deeper, snotting that everybody's different, and she's not trying to be like the other girls (i.e., good), and they're not trying to be like her. "Well, they wouldn't," Simon says, off-camera and off-mic, but we can hear it anyway. Hey, he gave her an out and commended her on persevering through the party girl pics, and she got all snotty and bitchfaced in return. And I honestly think Simon only meant that the other girls wouldn't want to emulate Antonella vocally, but the way Ryan freaks out and calls Simon "tacky," it makes it seem like he was talking about what a tramp she is. Well played, Seacrest. Dipshit.
up is Haley, whose super-secret video tells us she used to be a gymnast. Huh. That doesn't exactly explain the hyper-cheerfulness during her performances or her goofy fashion sense. Though it does explain the tendency to cry, as well as what she ends up saying after she gets judged tonight. She says she turned to singing after she basically ran her pre-teen body into the ground, separating her shoulders and whatnot. And then we see that she's chosen to sing Faith Hill's "If My Heart Had Wings." Faith Hill is to female singers what Stevie Wonder is to male singers, so at this point, I was already crossing Haley off my list. For purposes of that sentence, imagine that I have a giant list of Idol hopefuls -- those still in the competition, and those who have had their names crossed off upon their elimination. This comes in handy when I'm trying to figure out which forgettable male has been unjustly maligned by Sanjaya's continued existence. Seriously, though: your Idol "dream" is hanging by a thread and you pick Faith Hill? I no longer feel sorry for you. Then again, Haley was expressly forbidden from dipping into the Whitney/Celine song pool, but still. There had to be something better than this snoozer. For the third straight week, Haley's voice is pretty enough, and for the third straight week, that doesn't matter. She still sounds like she's part of a halftime show event. The kind you don't watch so you can go pick up the pizza.
Haley totally bails out on the last note, too, which isn't a great impression to leave as we kick it to the judges. Randy calls it an "interesting" choice, but it's probably who Haley is. He asks if she agrees with that, and Haley is tight-lipped and noncommittal, because she has a sneaking suspicion Randy is saying she's a boring person just like her boring song. And indeed, Randy determines that the performance had no "pizzazz" to it. No "wow." No "yo!" It's a very Randy way of saying something, true, but you and I both understand exactly what he means. That thing that would cause Randy Jackson to be all, "Yo! That was hot!" was absent in that song. No "yo!" I can get behind that, weirdly enough. So then Paula goes, "I'm sure that was a difficult critique to hear. 'No yo' in it." Ha! Yo, Paula, that's a hot one-liner right there! See, Paula has the "yo" factor even when she's mocking it. "That's the kind of artist that you are," Paula concludes, not unkindly but not exactly complimentarily. It's kind of the "I guess that's just how you were raised" of judge critiques. "It was really boring, but I guess that's just how you roll." So within those snoozy parameters, says Paula, Haley was great.
Simon's a dick with his criticism, I'll just say that flat out. I like Haley, it's no secret, but I think she was so clearly out the door that for Simon to pile on was...cheap. That's where Ryan should have busted out "tacky." So anyway, Simon goes, "I thought it was horrible. I thought it was like some terrible ghastly high school musical performance." He's correct on the merits, but he goes on: "Do you know what I said to Paula halfway through the performance? I don't know your name." And it seems like I'm the only person that watches this show who does know her name, so I guess that's on target too. To her credit, Haley just raises an eyebrow and purses her lips, which is progress from the dripping wet ball of tears she was two weeks ago. If only she could improve as a singer like she's improved as a criticism-taker. Paula takes Simon to task for being such a prick about things, but then Ryan is actually pretty level-headed, asking Haley is if it's hard to hear Simon say these things to her, even if he's just doing his job. Does she take it personally? "You can," Haley says, "but every week I've gotten bad comments, so you gotta do what you gotta do, you gotta clock in and clock out. So, I'm clockin' in and doing my job, and I'm gonna clock out when I leave the stage." Man, I really, really liked that. I'm not sure how much is Haley trying to convince herself this isn't bothering her, but she's certainly more stoic this week. Paula tells her she hasn't always gotten bad comments, but Haley's like, yeah, from you two jokers, maybe, but Simon can't stand me. Simon says it's not that he doesn't like her, he just thinks there are "better people" and this performance did not leave a great impression. ... Man, everyone's being more or less honest and cool with each other. Where is the bullshit we've come to know from this show? Sundance? Antonella? Alaina? Little help?
Stephanie's super-secret is that she was too shy to sing in front of anyone but her parents when she was a kid. She thinks it's weird to think about, considering how comfortable she is onstage. Fascinating, I know. Stage fright and haircuts, that's what we're learning about the contestants this week. Maybe week we'll find out about how they learned to swim and the first time they ever went to Disney World. Stephanie's singing Mary J. Blige's cover of Chaka Khan's "Sweet Thing," thank you very much, Google. It's interesting to look through Stephanie's song choices so far -- Alicia Keys, Beyoncé, and now Mary -- because I was about to say that Stephanie seems like a throwback to me, but she keeps singing these decidedly current songs. And she certainly doesn't dress up like an old lady. Maybe it's because she's classy? And everyone else today isn't, because society's gone to heck in a handbasket, and my laws, skirts are short these days? I'm not sure. I do know that Stephanie's voice is amazing. She's got a cool stage persona that could get overshadowed on a show made for big personalities, but that voice is no joke. I just wish she'd sing a song I like. Of course, that doesn't matter even a little bit, because she's singing exactly the songs the judges want to hear. If Randy Jackson could upholster his living room with Alicia Keys and Mary J. Blige, he totally would.
But wait! Swerve! Because Randy doesn't think of it as a Mary song, he thinks of it as a Chaka song. And Chaka's on the untouchable list, with Whitney and Mariah. So while he gives Stephanie an "'A' for effort," he wasn't head-over-heels about it. Paula, on the other hand, doesn't have Randy's hang-ups, so she calls the performance "darn near flawless." Simon agrees she has one of the best voices on the show, but he cites her tendency to "go a bit copycat," a charge I can't speak to given my unfamiliarity with the songs she sings, but I'll trust Simon just this once. That being said, Simon says she's "100% done enough" to make the finals. Ryan asks Randy what of the "yo" factor. Man, I hope that sticks around. Ryan Seacrest in dogged pursuit on the status of the "yo" factor would enhance my viewing experience this year, I think. Randy takes this as yet another opportunity to yell at Stephanie to stay off Chaka's lawn. Yeah! And keep your Frisbees out of Mariah's rose bushes!
Back up in the Lounge, Ryan and LaKisha continue their season-long show-mance. You know one of the reasons he loves her is that he towers over her, right? LaKisha looks hot, I must say, in a black halter dress with lapels. They banter around for a bit until she goes, "Can I get a hug? From you?" And there's a...hunger?...in her tone of voice. I don't know how else to describe it. And Seacrest gives his best "oh baby," which, paired with exactly as stiff a hug as you might expect, is really funny to see. Does LaKisha know about Ryan Seacrest? Do we need to sit her down and have a talk? Before she gets her hopes up? LaKisha's super-secret is that she hates animals. All kinds. I hear ya, lady. Except she says her mom had two dogs when she was a kid. How do you spend your entire childhood afraid of dogs when you live with them? Would that not be a terrifying way to grow up? Wouldn't you end up looking like Sanjaya all day?
LaKisha's song is Whitney Houston's "I Have Nothing." I'd be hard pressed to find many songs I find more boring than this one. What did I just say last week about the Bodyguard soundtrack, LK? (Can I call her "LK"? You don't think she'll mind, do you?) Not to mention someone sings this every year. But LaKisha's been given permission by the Idol gods to enter the forbidden realm, so I suppose it only makes sense that she start with Whitney. Here's something I wasn't expecting, though: I really the performance. I do! Maybe I'm coming around on LaKisha, maybe not, but this week? She did good. I like how she doesn't feel intimidated by Whitney here. She's not backing down, but she's also not trying to overcompensate and freak out on the power notes. In the audience, two relatives with LaKisha t-shirts wiggle around and scream. Randy concedes it's maybe not her best, but "another great performance from the great LaKisha." See, and this is how you make me twitch, Randy. "The great LaKisha"? She's been at this three weeks. Let's not crown her Aretha quite yet. Paula tries to work some lyrics from earlier LaKisha performances into her critique, but she makes a mess of it. "You don't have to run anywhere"? Where did that come from? Whatever, these aren't critiques anyway; they're gentle pettings of LaKisha's hair. The cool stuff is LaKisha's t-shirt contingent whooping around, one of the ladies shouting in a remarkably husky voice, "My niece! My niece!" Paula looks over and goes, "I would never have known!" Hee.
Simon says LaKisha brought "passion, talent, believability..." (Randy: "...yo."), and even more than that, Simon likes her outfit this week. No more distracting orange/salmon colors. Basic black, just as Simon likes it. Ryan comes up and points to the t-shirt ladies: "Auntie and Momma need a show." They stand up and scream some more, and LaKisha goes, "Oh my god, I told them don't act up!" Yeah, she's cute, this LaKisha. But I'm still not calling her "the Great LaKisha." That sounds like she's one of the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling.
After commercials, Ryan's in the Lounge and is...being assaulted by pillows the girls are throwing at him. A-ha! Just how you'd always envisioned it was with Ryan and the girls. Pillow fights and highlighting each other's hair and gossiping about whether Blake talked about any of them at lunch yesterday. Ryan picks up some pillows and starts firing back. All is right with the Idol world. He catches up with Gina at the other side of the room, and they pretend to play it cool all, "...'Sup?" "...Whatever." Gina's not-so-secretly geeked about tonight, though, because it's now or never for her. Big week. Gina's secret is that she has a bunch of lucky charms. No, not the kind that Jacob keeps talking about vis-Ã -vis Sundance. She has a teeny troll doll that she keeps in her pocket, as well as this weird green beanie baby thing she calls "Pickle." Finally, she has a pillow with a picture of her niece and nephews and it says "Auntie Gigi is our American Idol!" Man, you know Auntie Gigi's going to be the cool aunt, ducking out to the garage to smoke during family parties and such. That being said...troll dolls and pillows? This is the most boring collection of Idols ever.
Gina's singing Evanescence's "Call Me When You're Sober," a song so perfectly chosen that I kind of yelped when it heard it. It's current, which the judges will like; Amy Lee can really sing, so it's ambitious, which the judges also like; and it finally fits in that rocker chick box that Simon's been nudging Gina toward for the last two weeks. Great choice, Gina. Seriously. The first time I heard Gina sing this, I thought she was okay vocally, but chalked the performance up to a triumph of song selection more than anything. Listening back, she's really good. She's not in Amy Lee's league, and she gets breathless a few times, but she's got enough of a voice and enough energy that she's able to pass it off. "Finally," says Randy, "the real Gina comes out." Paula says, "This is who I always imagined you to be." I feel bad for her that she's been so viciously pigeonholed in this competition, but it's honestly to her benefit. The more she can distinguish herself from Melinda And The People Who Aren't As Good As Melinda, the better. "You enjoyed that, didn't you?" asks Simon. "I really did," says Gina. Simon tells her, "This was the girl we wanted in this competition." Again, it's restrictive as hell, but it's the only way she's going to survive. While he does express reservations over whether the song was "too extreme for the audience" (and how depressing a thought is that?), Simon says he really, really hopes she makes it through to the finals, because even he's going to get tired of the endless parade of divas and comparatively crappy guys. By the time Ryan makes it to the stage, Gina's crying. "Tears of joy!" he says. "Totally!" she says. "That's the Simon I love." Heh, I'll bet. She gives props to the band, because that's her thing, and says this is who she is, and this is how she's most comfortable. So everyone's on the same page then? Awesome! "Your boyfriend has Pickle on his chest right now," says Ryan. Yeah, I'll bet -- wait, what? Ryan Seacrest, was that a double entendre? Control yourself!
One more to go: let's see it, Melinda! Melinda's super-secret is that she has OCD. Now we're talking! Melinda says her friends (hi, Gayles!) like to call it "OCD," but Melinda herself calls it being "equal opportunity." Like, for example, if she chews a certain amount on one side of her mouth, she has to chew the same amount on the other side. Or if she touches something cold with one hand, she has to touch it with the other. And she can't leave her house until she can light her lighter on five consecutive flicks. Okay, maybe not that one. "It's all about equality," she says, interlocking her fingers. "I mean, we're all in this together, right." Damn, Melinda makes me want to be OCD, too. Because if OCD results in what we're about to see, it just got some really great PR. My research tells me the song Melinda's singing was made famous by Peggy Lee. But we've all heard it in one form or another. You know how it goes: "'Cause I'm a woman, w-o-m-a-n..." As you can imagine, it packs a lot of attitude, this song, and you might wonder if our meek little Melinda can pull it off. But once again, when she takes the stage, Melinda becomes a different person, and I'm telling you right now, no one is going to produce a better version of "I'm A Woman" in 2007 than Melinda Doolittle. I feel like Randy Jackson right now, but there it is. Even LaKisha's momma and auntie are getting into it, however grudgingly. She even takes the song for a walk! And then struts her way back to the center of the stage for her big finish. So phenomenal.
And then no sooner is she finished than she hunches up her shoulders and looks expectantly at the judges, hoping they'll think she did okay. Paula's still standing, if that's any indication. "The hottest one of the night!" says Randy. He says Melinda's ready to go into the studio right now. Paula can't say enough nice things, jumping from likable to lovable in half a second's time. She says each week she can't wait to see what Melinda's going to do . Neither can I, frankly. OCD, the blues, crooner standards like "My Funny Valentine," not having a neck -- what else is Melinda going to make look and sound cooler than it has any right to be? "You little tiger," begins Simon, and everyone goes nuts. "I thought we had a pussycat!" Okay, Simon saying "pussycat" with his chest hair undulating beneath his face is inherently skeevy, but: hee. Instead of praising her humility for the third consecutive week, Simon instead says he loves how much pure enjoyment Melinda seems to be getting from performing. Totally. She's one of the only ones without the fear behind her eyes when she performs, which is completely opposite of what she presents, say, right now, when Ryan has to be like, "Own it! You're awesome!" If she ever manages to get some confidence when she's not performing, we may never be able to stop her. Not that we'd want to.
Rundown! Jordin breaking hearts. Sabrina not letting go (...until tomorrow. Sniff!). Antonella skinning a particularly nasally cat in the ladies' room of an over-under dance club. Haley making a Faith Hill song about hearts and wings somehow even more saccharine and unbearable. Stephanie being book-awesome and just biding her time until she proves to be street-awesome. LaKisha making me really enjoy a terribly dull song. Gina sounding markedly worse in rehearsals, which probably gave her contingent a heart attack considering how squarely she was in front of the firing squad this week. Melinda making you touch a doorknob three times every time she spells "woman."
: Results! And Carrie! And then St. Patrick gives me an excuse to drink during my week off!