By M. Giant
Ryan starts the show in broad daylight, standing in front of the Mirage's pool to introduce the last "sudden death" round, a process that's only taken two weeks. And just as he says, "This is American Idol," two dolphins in the background do a synchronized flip over the water! Wait, is Ryan Seacrest Aquaman?
Inside the theater, we get the drill that we've become used to: ten guys will sing tonight, but only five will get to return week to sing for votes. And it'll only be March, too. This season is flying by. Ryan uses the phrase "cueing the lift" to remark on the appearance from below of tonight's performers: Mathenee Trecco, Gurpreet Singh Sarin, Vincent Powell, Nick Boddington, Josh Holiday, David Oliver Willis, Bryant Tadeo, Brunelle Taylor, Lazaro Arbos and Cortez Shaw. As you can guess from the order of the list, we're starting with Mathenee, 26, a Bahamas native who currently lives in Aurora, Colorado. He's also an "entertainment coordinator," meaning he puts together shows in both the U.S. and the Bahamas. Which is quite nice for him. Not sure why he'd want to give that up for this. He's doing a version of Elvis's "A Little Less Conversation" whose arrangement isn't doing anyone any favors, but he has some fun going up an octave as soon as he possibly can, displaying a clear voice and no fear of high notes. Keith compliments his vocal range and power and his ability to entertain, but warns him not to let the latter overwhelm the former. Nicki thinks he was trying to impress them and it struck her as "cheesy and karaoke," which she says in her British accent so you know she means it. Randy dings him on song choice, which is Randy Criticism #2, and wonders who he is, which is Randy Criticism #4, meaning he's used up half of his criticisms already. Mariah didn't even know the song, but was looking forward to hearing him sing. Mathenee takes this all with good grace, which is probably more than they deserve. Well, Randy, at least.
Ryan plugs something on the Idol website before introducing us to Gurpreet, who is studying computer science at the University of Maryland. We see him introducing himself as The Turbanator back at the New York auditions, and actually get to see him winding one of them at home on camera. Tonight, he's wearing a sunny yellow turban that matches his pants. No, none of that is a typo. His voice is still pretty, but weaker than I remember and he's picked a relatively obscure song that doesn't exactly show off much range. He said in his intro reel that he hoped people could look past the turban, but if he makes it through tonight it'll be because of it. Keith says he prefers his voice when he's singing with his acoustic guitar. Nicki says with concern, "Gur, I don't know what's happening," telling him he should have done what he does. Gurpreet promises to do so if he makes it to the round and compliments her own yellow outfit. Randy spits and sputters about how terrible it was and Mariah was also hoping for something different. Gurpreet promises to integrate some Indian classical music time if given the chance. Ryan asks Gurpreet why he went so far out of his comfort zone, and Gurpreet basically promises to never do it again. I think he's learned his lesson, everyone.
Vincent Powell is yet another worship leader, who has sang backup for Whitney Houston and lived in his car. Near the end there, maybe he was doing them at the same time. He and his J.J. Abrams glasses roll out an R&B slow jam that lets him show off a lot of falsetto runs and such. Zoanette is literally jumping up and down in the audience and even Randy is transported. Vincent finishes up with a couple of notes that are actually still going on as you read this and gets a standing ovation from all of the judges save Nicki. Keith doesn't have much to say other than he loved it, while Nicki says he could imagine people in their forties and fifties throwing their panties at him. She means this as a compliment. Randy says he felt like this was the show's start and yells interminably about how he's the whole package, which I guess means something different when he's saying it to a dude. Mariah has one word: "Finally." Insightful! Ryan asks Vincent one question and then turns to Zoanette in the audience, who screams at Vincent, "Get it, Papa Smurf!" And that's why she's still here.
Coming back, Nick Boddington, the 27-year-old bartender from last season talks about his musical youth before also bringing the soul with his performance, but in more of a Simply Red style than Vincent did. Simply Bald, if you will. He's still got a pretty voice, but he also still looks like an Observer from Fringe. Keith liked the singing, but never felt a connection, which is one of those things anyone can say because nobody can prove otherwise. Nicki loves his voice, saying that tonight's performance wasn't bad, but it wasn't his best ever. Randy deploys Randy Criticism #2 and whines about the lack of moments, like a toddler fast-forwarding through Star Wars and wondering when it's going to get to the good part. Mariah disagrees, but also says she wanted more connection. Fortunately, Nick has a chance to try to connect with Ryan during the post-song interview. Unfortunately, he fails.
We're (re?)introduced to Josh Holiday, originally from a farm in Texas and now living in Nashville. He starts out his original song sitting at the piano, which is deadly because he'll either get in trouble for getting up from it or not getting up from it later in the song. And... he gets up, at the point in the song where the wussy verse and chorus unaccountably turns into an angry-looking bridge. Keith confirms that it was an original, which he had to do because it wasn't that original. Keith basically wishes he'd rung the bell instead of just walking up to it. Nicki says she wishes he'd stayed at the piano and, after turning around for a moment to mock-threaten some heckler, adds that she was jarred by the same moment that jarred me. Randy says he liked the song and the arrangement, but wasn't "wowed." Mariah actually gives Josh credit for showing his singer-songwriter side and points out that the audience liked it. She also wanted him to stay at the piano. The poor Steinway must be just sitting there all, What do they want from me?
Because it's been several minutes since we heard from a worship leader, it's David Oliver Willis's turn. His mom is older than mine and his father was born in nineteen-oh-fucking-six, which he uses to explain his bowties and Gumby hairstyle in his intro reel. He's actually cut the latter for tonight's performance, a country-inflected version of Peggy Lee's "Fever." He's accompanying himself on an acoustic guitar, unnecessarily because the whole band's playing so it's not like there's a sonic hole that needs to be filled. Which usually means someone's using it as a crutch. Understandable, because the performance isn't what I'd call electrifying, despite the big finish he tries to tack on. Keith talks about the "moment" at the end, but says he could have shown more with a different song. Nicki asks him to point out his wife and waves to her, but said she felt like he was playing his new guitar for his family on Christmas morning, a point she amplifies by mimicking his robotic movements. Ouch. Randy babbles about his influences and Mariah hearkens back to David's group round, which means she wasn't blown away tonight. "But the crowd seem to love it," she shrugs, as if to say that there's no accounting for taste. And then Ryan spends David's post-song interview talking to Nicki instead.
We're going from there right to Bryant Tadeo from Hawaii, who talks about his home state and shows lots of pictures from there and then signs "New York State of Mind" because sure. In a long shot of the crowd, you can see several of the female finalists vowing never to be forced to sit behind Zoanette again. Anyway, Bryant's performance is unshowy and competent, which means Randy will hate it. Keith, however, says that's the connection he was looking for. Nicki liked the run at the end, but that was all. Randy felt let down by where it never went, as predicted. And Mariah says that what people liked about it was his professionalism and tonality, but she noticed him getting a little lost there for a minute. I never thought I'd say this, but she was clearly paying more attention than I was.
We return to find Ryan in the backstage lounge with Brunelle Taylor, who unlike his initial audition, has come dressed for the occasion. He adds that he's already lost forty pounds being on the show and then we go to his intro reel to be reminded about how he's a former Katrina refugee from New Orleans. Brunelle sings a desperate ballad, staying in his unimpressive midrange and using hand gestures that make him look like he's running Tom Cruise's computer in Minority Report to direct traffic, but the judges must see and hear something I don't because they lurrrve him. Keith seems impressed with his originality, someone gets bleeped and Nicki says she would pay to see him sing. Of course, she's rich. But she also relates to his story and gets pretty worked up about his triumphant weight loss, adding that he was the best by far tonight. Randy gives the obligatory Louisiana shout-out and seems to have really liked it, even if not as much as Brunelle's original audition in Baton Rouge. Mariah recalls how he made her cry there and says she's been rooting for him ever since, which I'm sure has nothing to do with not wanting to go down in history as having cried at someone who didn't make the finals. That would be almost as embarrassing as stripping on TRL or something.
Lazaro is . He's the guy with the stutter and he tells us that he works in an ice cream shop, because it's the only job he can get that doesn't require talking. Ouch. His singing tonight is, as always, much better than his speaking, but his nerves are still perceptible and not just from the sweat pooling on his forehead. Pretty, though. He gets a loud, long ovation from the crowd, which Keith comments on and adds that it's a beautiful song in a way that tells me it's one of his. Keith is aware of the irony of his saying that it wasn't the best song choice, but he appreciates Lazaro's spirit. Nicki appreciates him sticking to what people like about him, unlike some people tonight. Randy talks about the "sweet spot" Lazaro hit in the chorus and was savvy enough to have noticed Lazaro's nerves all on his own. Can't get much past that guy. Mariah asks if Lazaro was on the verge of tears before his singing started, by way of complimenting him on his I don't even know what she's talking about any more. Ryan asks him a couple of questions, the last one of which Lazaro gives up on to simply answer, "Sure." Ryan, it's not nice to try to scare him away from the live shows like that.
Cortez Shaw is wrapping up the singing part of the night. He talks about growing up in a struggling single-parent household and wanting to be a singer since age seven, which are two things that don't often go all that well together. He's singing a version of "Bulletproof" that starts quiet and has an actual slow build, and will somebody please just put a tranq dart in Zoanette already? Cortez blows it out at the end, prompting Keith to observe to the crowd, "You guys love the big notes, don't you?" He says it was brave and that Cortez seemed a little wrong-footed at points, but the end was worth it. Nicki flirts with Cortez shamelessly before saying she liked it. "I'm just gonna talk about the singing if you don't mind," Randy guffaws, because God forbid anyone think for a moment he has the ghey. He deploys Randy Criticism #1 (pitch), but thinks he could be a current, interesting artist. Mariah comments on things changing, saying she's liked him all along. By which she means the other judges like him now, not that she's stopped. He might have been worried about that for a moment. Ryan quickly shoos him from the stage, because the cuts are coming up, but the judges say they only need a short commercial break. Like it's up to them. Is this even live?
We return to the usual pre-cut ritual; the empty stools, the judges rising up from the Underworld, Jimmy Iovine in the audience waiting to break any ties, all the various sacraments. David Oliver Willis is called out and after a clip of his "Fever" performance from earlier, we know he's doomed even before Mariah's long, looping speech sending him on his way. Bryant is called out , adjusting his shirt-tuck as he takes up position. Keith wastes little time telling Bryant that he liked him, but he was overruled and Bryant is going back to Hawaii. With five stools still available and eight singers left, the guy called out is going to be a lock and sure enough it's Vincent. "You are going through, congratulations," Nicki says simply. Not even bothering with this guy. Then it's Mathenee, and Randy says his performance was "risky," but he didn't make it. Randy's not even trying. Lazaro is the to be brought forward, if only so his hot-pink shirt quits dominating the shot of the guys waiting in the wings. Mariah tells Lazaro that it's been tough, but it's been good and America will be seeing more of him. The crowd goes apeshit as he hugs everyone and takes the second stool. Three stools and five guys left. Keith makes Cortez sit through a mini-interview before telling him he's going to have a chance to work on his shit. So that's three guys on the stools and four guys waiting for the two that remain as we go to ads.
By M. Giant
Lazaro is . He's the guy with the stutter and he tells us that he works in an ice cream shop, because it's the only job he can get that doesn't require talking. Ouch. His singing tonight is, as always, much better than his speaking, but his nerves are still perceptible and not just from the sweat pooling on his forehead. Pretty, though. He gets a loud, long ovation from the crowd, which Keith comments on and adds that it's a beautiful song in a way that tells me it's one of his. Keith is aware of the irony of his saying that it wasn't the best song choice, but he appreciates Lazaro's spirit. Nicki appreciates him sticking to what people like about him, unlike some people tonight. Randy talks about the "sweet spot" Lazaro hit in the chorus and was savvy enough to have noticed Lazaro's nerves all on his own. Can't get much past that guy. Mariah asks if Lazaro was on the verge of tears before his singing started, by way of complimenting him on his I don't even know what she's talking about any more. Ryan asks him a couple of questions, the last one of which Lazaro gives up on to simply answer, "Sure." Ryan, it's not nice to try to scare him away from the live shows like that.
Cortez Shaw is wrapping up the singing part of the night. He talks about growing up in a struggling single-parent household and wanting to be a singer since age seven, which are two things that don't often go all that well together. He's singing a version of "Bulletproof" that starts quiet and has an actual slow build, and will somebody please just put a tranq dart in Zoanette already? Cortez blows it out at the end, prompting Keith to observe to the crowd, "You guys love the big notes, don't you?" He says it was brave and that Cortez seemed a little wrong-footed at points, but the end was worth it. Nicki flirts with Cortez shamelessly before saying she liked it. "I'm just gonna talk about the singing if you don't mind," Randy guffaws, because God forbid anyone think for a moment he has the ghey. He deploys Randy Criticism #1 (pitch), but thinks he could be a current, interesting artist. Mariah comments on things changing, saying she's liked him all along. By which she means the other judges like him now, not that she's stopped. He might have been worried about that for a moment. Ryan quickly shoos him from the stage, because the cuts are coming up, but the judges say they only need a short commercial break. Like it's up to them. Is this even live?
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By M. Giant
We return to the usual pre-cut ritual; the empty stools, the judges rising up from the Underworld, Jimmy Iovine in the audience waiting to break any ties, all the various sacraments. David Oliver Willis is called out and after a clip of his "Fever" performance from earlier, we know he's doomed even before Mariah's long, looping speech sending him on his way. Bryant is called out , adjusting his shirt-tuck as he takes up position. Keith wastes little time telling Bryant that he liked him, but he was overruled and Bryant is going back to Hawaii. With five stools still available and eight singers left, the guy called out is going to be a lock and sure enough it's Vincent. "You are going through, congratulations," Nicki says simply. Not even bothering with this guy. Then it's Mathenee, and Randy says his performance was "risky," but he didn't make it. Randy's not even trying. Lazaro is the to be brought forward, if only so his hot-pink shirt quits dominating the shot of the guys waiting in the wings. Mariah tells Lazaro that it's been tough, but it's been good and America will be seeing more of him. The crowd goes apeshit as he hugs everyone and takes the second stool. Three stools and five guys left. Keith makes Cortez sit through a mini-interview before telling him he's going to have a chance to work on his shit. So that's three guys on the stools and four guys waiting for the two that remain as we go to ads.
Josh is brought out , which means he's doomed like every other fourth-from-last person. Nicki talks about him in the past tense and remembers him ripping his pants in Hollywood. Which I thought was Paul Jolley, so I guess we won't miss this extra one. He's done, in any case. Brunelle comes out and mumbles at Randy, who does some muttering of his own before saying Brunelle is still in the competition. Only one stool left and it's going to be between Nick Boddington and Gurpreet, who both auditioned on the same day in New York. They mumble into Ryan's microphone backstage and between their two recap clips, it's not looking good for Gurpreet. It's Mariah's turn to break the news and makes it all about herself before finally pulling the trigger on Gurpreet and sending Nick on. So the top twenty has been established, and the voting begins week. I don't think that all twenty finalists will have to sing during the same episode, but I'm morbidly curious to see them try.
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By M. Giant
Check out an interview with Keith Urban, find out what past runner-up Crystal Bowersox thinks of this season and look back at the best and worst judges ever with our friends at Wetpaint.
M. Giant is a Minneapolis- based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.
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