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In keeping with the pace that this series has historically preferred, tonight's episode included one major character introduction, two semi-major character deaths, electroshock therapy, demonic possession, exorcism, a second demonic possession and a possible new suspect for the identity of Bloody Face. Gotta keep up!
So Adam Levine and Clea DuVall are both dead before the credits roll each murdered by Bloody Face, though decades apart from each other. Wendy's death, by the way, confirms that the Bloody Face killings continue despite Kit's incarceration.
Back at Briarcliff, Zachary Quinto arrives as the court-appointed psychologist tasked with determining whether Kit is sane enough to stand trial. Grace wants Kit to fake insanity and avoid the Chair, but Kit would rather just escape. Meantime, Lana gets caught taking notes about her mistreatment and Sister Jude doesn't want any record of Briarcliff's sins residing anywhere, even in Lana's memories, so she submits Lana to electroshock. Lana's in a daze after that, but she can still remember the secret tunnel of Sister Eunice's and after Grace shows her some kindness, Lana says the both of them should escape. Grace wants Kit to come with them too, but Lana refuses to allow a serial killer of women back into the wild.
In more serialized news, worried parents bring their horse-mutilating son in for examination and while Dr. Quinto sees a medical problem, Sister Jude and Monsignor Howard see differently and call for an exorcism. In their defense, his eyes did start glowing amber and all. After some faith-vs.-science debate, the exorcism is ON -- but Sister Jude and her delicate feminine sensibilities are asked to leave the room. During an intermission, however, she enters the room with the demon, who proceeds to taunt her while filling the rest of us in on Jude's past as a WWII good-time lounge singer AND secret hit-and-run murderess. When the exorcism resumes, the power goes out, the boy dies (bummer) and the demon leaps bodies into Sister Eunice… though no one seems to notice.
Speaking of whom, Eunice's weirdly paternal/sexual interactions with Dr. Arden catch the eye of Shelly the Nympho, who makes a pass/monologue at Dr. Arden herself, only to be brusquely shot down by the good (?) doctor, who despises whores. Except: kidding! He totally loves prostitutes, especially when they come over for dinner, don't swear too much, dress up as nuns, and allow him to hog-tie them and photograph them on his bed. This week's particular whore finds Arden's secret stash of snuff Polaroid's and bites Arden's shoulder to make her escape. Better luck time, you rapey old possible Bloody Face!
Oh, but back to the exorcism: when the power goes out, Lana tells Grace this is their shot to escape. But Kit sees them making a break for it and Grace refuses to leave him behind. If Lana won't take him, Grace and Kit will go by themselves. Seeing this, Lana makes the hugely difficult decision to deep-six her own chances of escape and holler to the guards that the woman-killer is trying to escape. The day, Sister Jude tells Lana she respects her courage and as a reward, she won't get caned but will have to watch Kit and Grace get twenty lashes each. At the last minute, Kit confesses to coming up with the escape idea and thus assumes all 40 lashes himself. Chivalrous little cutie.
Featuring The Exorcist as performed by Zachary Quinto, Jessica Lange, Joseph Fiennes and company; Psycho, as performed by Clea DuVall; and I Know What You Did Last Summer, as performed by Jessica Lange.
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously: Adam Levine and Mrs. Channing Tatum went snooping/sexing around in the abandoned Briarcliff Manor asylum and Adam got his arm ripped off for his trouble. Mrs. Channing made a break for it, but she ran directly into the bug-eyed, flesh-masked serial killer known as Bloody Face. (BTW, I haaaate that it's "Bloody Face" and not "Bloodyface," and I can't quite pinpoint why.)
Currently: we pick up right where we left off last week, with Mrs. Channing screaming at the sight of Bloody Face. He stalks her in classic Voorhees fashion, plodding along while she races and yet he's gaining on her somehow. She ends up back at Adam Levine, who by this point has passed out from blood loss. (Like, nice job with that tourniquet, IDIOT.) When rousing him doesn't work, she tries to drag him into one of the many dark and foreboding rooms. But, skinny little twink that Adam may be, he's still too heavy for Mrs. Channing to lug, and Bloody Face catches up with her. He yanks Adam back and she does the only sensible thing amid the screaming: she locks herself behind a door. She can look out the peep-hatch of said door, however, so she's able to see Bloody Face stab Adam repeatedly in the chest. He looks up at her and she shuts the hatch, leaving her alone in the dark, with this monster-or-person-or-alien pounding from the outside. Cool honeymoon.
The pounding on the door turns to knocking as we're sent back to 1964. Wendy is fretting over several glasses of wine with the Massachusetts chapter of the All the Lesbians I Know Society. The redheaded one (Barb) tells Wendy not to open the door, as there's a killer of women on the loose. The one with the butchier haircut (Lois) says they caught that guy and locked him up. Locked him up in Briarcliff, Wendy reminds them -- with Lana. She's in a really bad way about Lana and says she has to recant her statement. Lois reminds her that recanting a sworn statement won't be easy. She then gets up to answer the unceasing pounding at the door, which turns out to be little trick-or-treaters. They're a night early for Halloween, though nobody makes the effort to call it "Devil's Night," which seems strange. Wendy starts crying that she doesn't have any candy; like, pull it together, lady. One of the kids, from behind his mask, says that's okay -- they'll come back tomorrow. Adorable! After they leave, Wendy continues to break down, but she resolves to wake up tomorrow and set things right about Lana. Lois asks her if she'd like her to stay the night, and from the way Barb raises her eyebrows there seems to be some amorous intent behind her offer. Wendy politely turns her down, saying she's just going to shower and then right to sleep. Cut to a record player playing "Wishin' and Hopin'" while Wendy starts up her shower. The camera travels about the house, where it honestly seems like Wendy opened up every single window before showering. The POV turns to the bathroom, with Wendy obscured behind the shower curtain. Very Psycho. The curtain gets pulled open -- but it's a fake-out, as it's only Wendy exiting the shower. Still, all those windows are open and as she exits the bathroom, Wendy gets the feeling she's not alone. She goes to shut one window, but as she reaches the doorway, through the beaded curtain comes Bloody Face '64. "I'm a schoolteacher," she pleads. "The children -- they won't understand!" Those end up being her last words, as Bloody Face slashes us into the credits.
After the break, Sister Jude is leading the guards down to the women's ward to conduct a random inspection. Lana looks alarmed; Grace looks bored; Shelley, as ever, looks horny. The guards find food in Pepper's room and Sister Jude asks her why they don't allow food in the rooms. "RATS!" Pepper yelps, and Sister Jude "playfully" knocks her on her misshapen head, thus completing this week's Required Pepper Content. Requiring attention, Shelley pipes up that she's got a cucumber in her room, but it's not for eating. That seems like an awful waste of a cucumber, but OHHHHH. Jude instructs the guard to check Lana's pillowcase and he finds a piece of paper, upon which Lana has written notes about her mistreatment and other things she's witnessed at Briarcliff. Including, but not limited to her being denied a phone call out. "Who would you like to call?" Sister Jude taunts. "The American Civil Lesbians Union?" Cool burn, Sister. Lana's still holding on to some pride, as she defiantly tells Sister Jude that she's going to her editor with one hell of a story, with or without her notes. "I have an excellent memory," she calls after Sister Jude as she exits. Sister Jude says we'll have to see about that.
Sister Jude then goes to visit Dr. Arden, and they have a lovely little passive-aggressive conversation about the problem Lana poses. Sister Jude says she believes that it's Lana's troubling memories that are impeding her true repentance. Dr. Arden doesn't buy that hogwash for a second, but he's not going to object too much when what Sister Jude is asking of him is that he recommend electroshock therapy. There's some runaround about how Sister Jude once objected to the practice as barbaric but she bullshits about how she prayed on it or some such nonsense. The point is that you know something is truly evil and fucked up when both Dr. Arden and Sister Jude want to do it.
So the thing we know, Lana is being strapped down to the gurney and prepped for electroshock. On any other show, the entire episode would have built to this horrific inevitability. This show blasts through it in the first ten minutes. She screams and protests about how Sister Jude blackmailed her lover and kidnapped her, but no one is there to help her. It should be noted that this is the same gurney and room where Adam Levine will finger-blast Mrs. Channing Tatum some fifty years later. Dr. Arden invites Sister Jude to assist in the procedure, which in this case amounts to holding the head... thingie that is placed on Lana's temples. "You're not squeamish are you?" he asks her, essentially daring her to confront this practice that he knows she's still ambivalent about. Interesting that even though Jude is clearly not 100% comfortable with electroshock, she'll readily resort to it if it means protecting her asylum. Dr. Arden flips the switch and Lana starts convulsing, and of course the lights dim and flicker in the room, because nobody thinks about power usage requirements when they're installing an electroshock machine. Sister Jude is clearly disturbed by this, as she looks down at Lana with pity and almost sorrow.
The maddening strains of "Dominique" welcome us to the common room, where Kit is led in to meet with his court-appointed evaluator, Dr. Thredson, played with horned-rimmed-glasses period detail by Zachary Quinto. Kit tries to break free of the guards to grab some cigs lying on a table, but they muscle him away. Dr. Thredson is decidedly kind to Kit when he introduces himself; soft-spoken and docile. Also, I swear I'm not doing that gay thing and assuming all hot guys who interact with each other secretly want to do it, but there is more than a hint of sexual tension in these scenes, I am just saying. Particularly as he's lighting the man's cigarette. Intercut with this meet cute are flashes forward to Dr. Thredson typing up his notes on the patient, including details of the crimes (the bodies were found decapitated and drained of blood) and early guesses as to a motive (a purging of "racial guilt" for what Kit's upbringing would have deemed an "illicit coupling"). Kit exposits that Thredson was sent by the court to evaluate him and declare him either sane enough to stand trial (and be executed) or crazy enough to stay locked up in Briarcliff forever. He says he's neither crazy nor guilty of the crimes he's committed and the two men go back and forth, but the gist is that Kit doesn't believe Alma is even dead. After all, the body they found and said was her didn't even have a head. He says he's remembering more, and he believes the aliens took her alive and are keeping her. From Dr. Thredson's notes/voice-over: "Diagnosis: Acute Clinical Insanity." Ahhh, very precise, Doctor. Kind of like your primary care physician saying you've come down with a terrible case of illness.
Out in the woods, Sister Eunice is traversing with a picnic basket when she's surprised by Dr. Arden, who calls her his favorite little helper and I twitch a little bit. Seems the basket was what contained last night's feeding for the Creatures. She remarks that they were voracious last night. She's so afraid she's nearly in tears when she asks Dr. Arden to tell her what they are. "All in good time," he tells her, which is one of those phrases that get used in the movies constantly, but I don't think anybody has ever said in real life. He has her confirm to him that she hasn't told Sister Jude about any of this and she assures him she hasn't. As a token of his gratitude, he offers her a candy apple. She says it looks delicious, but she can't; Arden pushes it towards her and tells her to live a little. I get that this is a Sister Jude directive against indulgence, but Eunice is reacting to this apple like it's a baggie full of coke. Arden finally insists, his mood getting temporarily darker. Okay, now even I think he put roofies in that apple (also, it's clearly a caramel apple, so let's get the terminology right). When she does take a bite, we're all faced with the harsh reality that it's almost impossible to take a demure, casual bite of a candy/caramel apple. You pretty much have to dive right into that fucker and be okay with getting residual caramel in your sideburns. Dr. Arden chuckles with what seems at least a little bit like triumph. Eunice seems to be just another battlefield where he's fighting Sister Jude for control. As Arden and Eunice walk up to the front steps of Briarcliff, Shelley watches them from a second-floor window. She spots the apple in Eunice's basket and thinks of sex. Probably.
Lana sits in the common room, in a daze but still trying to scribble down as many notes as she can. The memories are fleeting, but she's trying to hold onto them. She has burn marks on her temples from the electricity. She watches Kit return from a meeting with Dr. Thredson and sit down by Grace, who immediately wants to know if he tossed his shit at the good doctor. Allow me to explain. Seems Grace is still adamant that Kit convince the doctors he's crazy so he can avoid the chair, so she told him to fling his shit at the doctor or at least spit at him. But Kit, thankfully, doesn't think he can fake crazy. (seriously, nothing ruins a hot boy for me like poo on his hands, so thank you for not taking Evan Peters there.) He says his only option is escape. This registers with an eavesdropping Lana. Grace thinks he's barking up the wrong tree if he thinks he can get out. There is no escaping this place. Lana's eyes flash some kind of recognition, and she scribbles something down.
Dr. Thredson catches up to Sister Jude in the hallway and introduces himself and... okay, I might as well say this right now and it's not a popular opinion, but I think Zachary Quinto is a terrrrrible actor. I've always thought that and have been so puzzled by the positive notices he's gotten for Heroes and Star Trek and whatnot. (Exception that proves the rule: his performance in So NoTORIous, but even there he was acting alongside Tori Spelling, the world's most optimum opportunity to look good by comparison.) Anyway, I just think that he always gives the impression that he's reading his lines for the first time off of notes he scribbled on his hand. Not that I think this show could be done in by something so inconsequential as a crappy actor, but I'm puzzled as to why Ryan Murphy hired him to play the lead this season. (Psych! I'm not puzzled at all. Gay Mafia at work.) Anyway, he tells Sister Jude that he's been observing the Briarcliff practices since he's been there and he's quite disturbed. We see flashes of examples of abuse -- caning Shelley; electroshocking Lana -- only now we see for each occasion, Dr. Thredson was apparently skulking in doorways, watching and disapproving. He was always there! It's such a hacky conceit, and I love that it's a part of this show. "It's a madhouse," she tells him, "what did you expect?" He seethes that he expected some sort of treatment. Shock therapy for homosexuality is NOT the industry standard in 1964 -- though, before you get carried away with the benevolence of "modern" psychiatry, note that the current standard then was "behavior modification." At least now we've graduated to praying the gay away. Sister Jude reminds Dr. Thredson that he's here to evaluate one patient and one only -- so, you know, butt out. She excuses herself to deal with a family that Sister Eunice has brought to her office.
Inside are the parents of seventeen-year-old Jed, the mother of whom is played by Robin Wiegert, bringing the Deadwood alum count for this season up to two. And you know my rule that any show that includes two or more Deadwood alums at the same time is automatically worth watching. Anyway, Robin starts explaining about her troubled adolescent and as Sister Jude interrupts her to toot her own horn for the success she's had with curbing the chronic masturbator (!), Dr. Thredson barges into the office on the pretense that he didn't know she had company. He quickly introduces himself to the parents and ingratiates himself into the conversation, essentially making a power play on Sister Jude. She objects, but Robin says their boy is troubled and they could use a doctor's opinion. She describes the symptoms which start off sounding like manic depression (moodiness) and move on to sounding like schizophrenia (hearing voices), but eventually sound much more serious. "I'm afraid he'll bring us harm," the father blurts out, before describing the events of yesterday: as we see in flashback, the father went out to the barn to find Jed naked and covered in blood. Seems the lad had gotten to disemboweling the horse with his bare hands, then ate its heart. "It was unholy," the father describes. Like some other entity had entered his son's body and made him do things. "You know," he says, "like that movie about the little girl that won't be made for another ten years or so." Dr. Thredson is at a loss for words as to how to explain such behavior, which Sister Jude takes as an admission of defeat. Disturbed, he says he'd have to see the boy to properly diagnose him. Robin says they brought him, he's in another room. As Sister Jude leads them out, she pulls Dr. Thredson aside and through gritted teeth reminds him that he is a guest in their institution. "Don't wear out your welcome on the first day."
The parents, Sister Jude, and the good Doctor visit Jed in the room he's been placed in. He's got that Emily Rose posture where his limbs seem locked at odd angles. "I'm scared," he tells his mother, but when Dr. Thredson goes to examine him, he growls and bites at his hand. By this point, we all realize this is a demonic possession and we're in for an exorcism, right? I don't have to pretend to find out when the characters do? Which, honestly, they should by now, because Jed is speaking in an inhumanly deep voice and in some unknown language. Also he turns to glare at Sister Jude and his eyes are glowing yellow. I know science is science, but let's not drag our feet on this waiting for him to start masturbating with a crucifix. Sister Jude? She gets it.
After the break, we're in a bathing room where Lana and Grace have been placed into hot baths with burlap coverings on the tubs. Not sure if that's a restrictive measure to guard against escape or a punitive measure (Lana says the water hurts her burns). Grace, however, managed smuggle in a shiv of some sort, so she's able to cut herself free and move about the bathroom nakedly. And don't think Lana doesn't notice. She's in a relationship with a woman who had her committed, she's not DEAD. Grace unties Lana's burlap and goes to the window to admire the trees. Lana asks her if she ever thinks of escaping. Grace rolls her eyes at yet another newbie who thinks escape is possible. But Lana's not just idly chit-chatting, of course. She knows there's a tunnel; she was brought in through it. Grace is still officially dubious, but it's not like she's walking away. Lana says she needs help pulling off an escape, but nobody else can know. Immediately, Grace wants to take Kit with them. Just as immediately, Lana says no way -- she's not bringing a vicious killer with them. Grace says she's seen killers in this place and Kit isn't one of them. Lana holds firm; Kit is her line in the sand. Grace observes that Lana has trouble trusting people. "You would too," Lana says, "if the person you loved most in the world betrayed you." Fair point. Grace says she knows what that's like. Intrigue!
Down in the kitchen, it looks like Dr. Arden is wrapping up some leftover dinner rolls to take home when he's approached by Shelley, who says she saw him hanging around with "Our Lady of Perpetual Virginity." As you probably expected, Shelley's flirtations are incredibly blunt and with very little left to the imagination. Dr. Arden is, frankly, disgusted by this and keeps calling Shelley a whore. The whole scene is fairly tedious and repetitive. Shelley grinds up on Arden, Arden shoves her away, Arden calls her a dirty slut, Shelley responds with an overwritten monologue about how women aren't allowed to enjoy sex in this society. She ends up telling him (us) her life story: how her mother made her wear mittens to bed as a child because she couldn't stop touching herself. How she ran away and found a jazz musician and married him, but after they got hitched, she became his property and he started screwing every "Betty" in town, so she got her revenge come Fleet Week by shtupping a pair of Navy guys. So her husband A) decked her, then B) committed her, and of course the country let her because Things Were Awful Then. All she wants is for Arden to give her five minutes outdoors, in the sun. But she's disgusting to him, so he turns her down and calls her a whore, despite her clearly stated hatred of that word. So... Dr. Arden's got a problem with women, let's say.
Dr. Thredson is talking to the Potters, trying to convince them to bring their son to the county hospital, but they want to see the "specialist" that's been called in. Thredson knows what kind of "specialist" is on his way and we see quick cuts to this person being led out of his car and into a wheelchair. Monsignor Howard shows up with Sister Jude, who introduces Oliver as "the tiresome Dr. Thredson." Thredson immediately starts in on the Monsignor with "It's 1964, for God's sake, we're not still believing in exorcisms, are we?" The Monsignor says in fact they do, and they will need Dr. Thredson to be present, since the Church requires a doctor on hand for all exorcisms, stigmata and appearances of the Virgin Mary to schoolchildren. Or just at exorcisms. Thredson gets all pissy (if there's one emotion Zachary Quinto can effectively sell it's pissiness) about how he hopes they don't expect him to stand idly by and not report what he sees. At this, the exorcist wheels into the room, and it's Dr. Anspaugh from ER, who is all, "A non-believer! Good, I like having one in the room. Ups my game." Ah, glad to have you aboard and in line with the tone of the show already, sir!
Back in the common room (-INIQUE, -INIQUE...), Lana grabs for her secret pencil and starts to got something down. Grace comes over and says she's asking to get caught, but Lana will forget if she doesn't write it down. "Then you'd better tell me," Grace says. "Tell me where the tunnel is." Lana refuses; the plan is that she and Grace leave together. Basically, she doesn't trust Grace not to run and tell Kit and for them both to leave Lana behind. The guards enter the room, and Kit quickly grabs Lana's notes and shoves them into his pockets. It's not an inspection, though; just orders from Sister Jude that everybody is confined to their rooms for the rest of the night. Lana warily thanks Kit for his protective instinct, but she wants the notes back. Kit says she can't get caught holding them. "What's the matter?" he asks, "don't you trust me." "No woman should trust you," she replies. The patients are herded into their rooms.
Elsewhere, it's a wonderful day for an exorcism. They strap Jed down to the bed as he writhes and convulses and howls an animal howl. Father Anspaugh delivers the usual instructions to those in the room -- Monsignor Howard, Dr. Thredson, Sister Jude -- to not listen to anything the demon says. Then he calls for his prayer book, but when Sister Jude gives it to him, he says her work is now done and she should leave the room. "This is no place for a woman," he says. "I'm stronger than you think," Jude protests, but Father Anspaugh says the Potters will need that strength in the waiting room. She looks to Howard for backup, but all he says is, "Godspeed, Sister Jude." Interesting, how the incredibly kind Monsignor Howard will push Sister Jude aside when it comes time for the work to by done, while Dr. Arden invited her to assist (albeit out of spite). The demon appears to laugh at Jude as she leaves, defeated.
After the break, we're in my least favorite place of all: Dr. Arden's dining room at home. He's got candles lit everywhere, and it looks like he's set up for a nice romantic dinner. With Sister Eunice perhaps? No, the blonde woman at the door in the leopard coat doesn't know "Stanley" at all. Prostitutes usually don't when they first come over. Arden is formal with her, but not stern. Not at first. She sees the dinner setup and kindly reminds him he only booked her for 90 minutes, but he's cool with that; he actually finds the anticipation far more erotic than the act itself. Siiiiigh, I'm going to have to spend this entire scene trying not to picture James Cromwell having sex, aren't I? The prostitute says she finds big cocks even more erotic, at which point Arden DOES get stern and says if she's going to be vulgar he'd just as soon she not speak at all. Okay! Parameters set! Arden plays some Chopin and pours some expensive cabernet, but the girl says she doesn't drink on the job (nor does she kiss on the mouth, because her favorite movie 26 years from now is Pretty Woman). She does offer to dance for him if he's got anything with a beat. Sigh. She just doesn't get it. Arden picks up his carving knife and orders her to sit down. He then starts carving the roast, which as you might have guessed, is rare as fuck. It's also almost certainly not meat from a cow, right? I'm not saying it's definitely human meat, but it's at least some creature he engineered in a lab that went wrong. He "idly" talks about how scary it must have been in her line of work to go out with a killer on the loose. "A great weight must have been lifted," he says, as he aggressively hacks into the roast, "and now you're safe." So, okay, yes, we're supposed to consider Dr. Arden as a possible Bloody Face. Got it.
Back at Briarcliff, it's the Greatest Hits of Exorcisms Past, including your favorites: Holy Water That Burns; Latin Incantations; and The Demon Speaking As Though It Were Your Dead Mother. In this case, it turns to Dr. Thredson and starts talking this mess about "I'm glad I gave you up." Oh, wait your turn, Oliver; we'll deal with your mommy issues some other episode. After some more greatest hits (Demon Suggests You Do Something Vulgar With That Crucifix You're Holding), it concentrates on Father Anspaugh, recites some obscure Bible verse, and sends him flying across the room.
The Monsignor heads downstairs to where Sister Jude and the Potters are praying. He informs the Potters their boy is fighting, but he asks if Sister Jude might join them upstairs. Seems they've had to take Father Anspaugh to the infirmary; he needs Sister Jude to watch over Jed from outside the door until they get back. So... babysitter? I guess that's progress. He warns her to pray and speak only to god, not the boy. But like the SECOND that Howard is gone, Jed starts screaming in a regular boy voice about how it's burning him. He's bleeding from his eyes and calling for his mommy. Not without compassion, Sister Jude runs into the room to try to help. Of course, the second she's at his bedside, the demon starts speaking, taunting her about being the smartest one in the room but with no real power, "because of that smelly clam between your legs." If you'll excuse me, I have to go write a term paper on the tendency of gay males to write the most disgustingly misogynist shit, under the cloak of shared ostracism. I don't care who wrote this episode, that line might as well have been signed onscreen by Ryan Murphy. Anyway, I'm back. The demon shit the door and taunts some more, about how she's a whore and probably "wearing red knickers right now." Neither here nor there, demon! He makes Jed grind his pelvis in her direction and say, "Put me in your mouth. Come on, you've had 53 cocks in there already." Also neither here nor... wait, 53? That's sixteen more than the girl in Clerks!
Suddenly, we're whisked off into flashback-land, where Jude has yet to become a nun. She's still partial to that scarlet color, as she's wearing a red dress and singing torch songs in a lounge full of soldiers on leave. I'm not sure how long ago this is supposed to be. What war are these soldiers fighting? There has been NO effort to make Jessica Lange look even one day younger than she does in 1964, I can say that. But she's clearly been a nun for more than a year or two, right? I'm so confused. Maybe we switched over to Grey Gardens and this is Big Edie during HER younger days. Singer Jude dances and propositions the boys and throws some drinks back and gets progressively sloppier. In the present, these memories are obviously painful for Sister Jude, because she tries to pray them away. "Tell me about the little girl in blue, Judy," the demon taunts. Which queues up another flashback from later that night. Jude, drunk as a skunk and driving home, fiddling with the radio knobs, and concentrating on her cigarette, and not paying attention to the road at all until she slams into a little girl and knocks her clean over the top of the car. She looks back, but that girl is either already dead or about to be. So Jude's got a Laura Bush past, huh? Sister Jude looks back at Jed's bed and sees that girl, accusing her of not even bother to get out of the car. Then Jed's back, with the demon screaming "MURDERER!" at her. Sister Jude finally snaps and screams for the demon to shut up and starts slapping at him in a rage. Howard and Thredson rush in to pull her off, as the demon calls to the Monsignor, "It's you she thinks of when she touches herself at night!" It's not slander if it's true, Sister. Howard sends Sister Jude back to sit with the parents, while he returns to the room and calls the demon out in the name of Jesus Christ. Thredson yells that Jed's heart can't take much more of this, as the kid thrashes and screams. The lights flicker off for longer and longer intervals. Finally, Thredson gives the boy an injection of something and all the lights blast out for good. Total power outage.
From her cell, Lana watches her door shake and then all the doors in the ward open at once. I hope this is the demon's work, because if not, Briarcliff has some shit-ass disaster-preparedness protocols. The red emergency lights give the asylum a most sinister glow as the crazies venture out from their holes. Lana and Grace find each other and Lana says this is their chance. She takes Grace by the hand and they run for the tunnel.
Back upstairs, Thredson says Jed's in cardiac arrest and begins CPR. Sister Jude looks on helplessly from the hallway, as Sister Eunice runs up with word that there's trouble in the ward.
Lana and Grace continue to run for the tunnel, but all of a sudden Kit's caught up with them. Grace tells him to come with, that Lana knows a way out, but Lana still refuses to take Kit along. Kit protests to Lana that he's neither a killer nor a psycho. Lana says he's a liar. Grace tells Lana to cut the shit already. She and Kit can leave by themselves now, so that's what they do. Lana watches as her escape plan falls apart. There is literally a light at the end of the hallway that marks her salvation, but she's watching a woman-killer about to reach it. What can she live with more? Incarceration? Or the blood of further dead women on her hands. With Grace and Kit inches from the door to the tunnel, Lana makes her choice: "HELP! HE'S ESCAPING! THE KILLER IS ESCAPING!" Kit and Grace try to shut her up, but the guards are soon there to round them up. Kit is beaten. Hard. Grace thrashes against her captors and stares at Lana with actual fire in her eyes. Lana just looks on, in tears. She made her choice. For this show that I love so much because it's filthy and vulgar and crazy and indulgent and kinetic and fun, this was a real triumph of character-building. All three characters -- Lana, Grace and Kit -- emerge stronger, more relatable, and more sympathetic because of it. Lana fucked it all up, but she doesn't know Kit's innocent like we do. She made the tough choice to sacrifice her freedom to save the lives of women she doesn't know. She's a hero. Similarly, Grace's faith in her friend Kit never wavered. She never once considered leaving him behind. And Kit... well, just look at that face. Great stuff, show.
Upstairs, Jude and Eunice look on as Dr. Thredson tries to revive Jed. With one last lurch, Jed's body sits up and expels a cloud of... something. It dissipates as it travels across the room, but the POV shot straight at Sister Eunice should make it clear to anyone who's seen a movie about possession before: that demon's in her now. Should be fun! With that last gasp, Jed is dead, and in quick succession: a crucifix falls from the wall, the power in the ward is restored and Sister Eunice falls back, stiff as a board. Never a dull moment.
After the commercial break, there's just one more crisis to weather: the fate of this poor prostitute, indentured to the pitiless affections of Dr. Arden. Things have gotten significantly creepier, as our girl is in Arden's bedroom, putting the finishing touches on the nun costume he's making her wear. Oh dear. He impatiently knocks on the door, but she's managed to stumble onto Arden's box of dirty magazines, and with them a series of disturbing photographs of women in their underwear, hogtied on Arden's bed. Naturally, she starts to panic. He finally does burst in as she nervously spills the photos onto the ground. She says she's just going to give him back his money and call it a night, but he grabs her by the arm, orders her to pick up the photos and then get on the bed. Which she does, after an unsuccessful attempt to run away. He confirms that she took off her panties, per his earlier instructions. He takes off his pants, then instructs her to "show me your mossy bank." NOPE. No. No thank you. Certainly not while Arden is holding his crotch. He advances on her, about to... I don't know, invade her mossy bank? What does one do with a mossy bank? I suppose we'll never find out (thankfully) because the girl takes a last-ditch bite at Arden's arm, knees him in the very crotch he's been fondling and runs for it. Glad someone was able to run away from a vile imprisonment today.
At Briarcliff, Sister Jude is faced with the sad task of informing the Potters that their son is dead. Mrs. Potter breaks down completely.
The morning, Dr. Arden arrives in the infirmary to check on Sister Eunice. I love how he's all caszh about the night's events. Hooker chomped on his arm and went out screaming into the night dressed as a nun. Ah, well. He'll get the one. Sister Eunice is sleeping, though her hospital gown is riding a little high on her thighs. Arden reaches out and creepily moves it down, which is when she wakes up. He apologizes for frightening her, but she says he could never frighten her. "You make me feel safe." Like bugs crawling on my skin, these two. He asks how she's doing after her "fainting spell" and prescribes plenty of rest and relaxation. She starts to ask about the "creatures," but he's distracted by a gap in her shirt revealing even more skin. He tells her so, and she pulls the blanket up over herself, saying she'd hate to distract him from his important work. He says, quite unconvincingly, that the human body is just a machine to him. Of course, when he says "cogs and sprockets," he might as well be saying "giant, throbbing cock" the way he's panting. He leaves her to rest up. But after he leaves, Eunice once again throws off her bedcovers, and when she does, the crucifix on the wall rattles. Eeeeeeevil!
Up in Sister Jude's office, Lana sits, fully expecting she'll be caned for the events of last night. But Sister Jude says it was a long night for everyone: "a lesson in the power of Satan." She tells Lana that she surprised her last night. She always figured she was a "corrupt little opportunist," but she knows what it took to call the orderlies last night and for that, she deserves something special. Of course, it's Sister Jude, so that something special comes in the form of Grace and Kit, who are brought to Sister Jude's office to be caned. Lana's reward is that she gets to watch, unpunished. It's a particularly ill-fitting reward when Lana has to see the look of hatred Grace has for her as she's led in. Lana calls Sister Jude twisted. "Don't make me change my mind, Miss Lana Banana," Sister Jude says. Please let them use that nickname in every episode. She then makes Lana choose which cane to use on "our Grace's bare behind" and on "our doe-eyed James Dean copycat." Lana, of course, picks the slimmest cane, but Sister Jude refuses. So Lana picks the third-slimmest cane, which, admittedly, were I Grace or Kit, I would be like, "WTF, bitch." After a fine little cheesecake shot of Kit and Grace's bare asses (something for everybody!), Sister Jude prepares to start on Grace. Lana tells her she's so sorry. "Screw you, Judas bitch!" is Grace's reply. Sister Jude winds up, but Kit interrupts, saying the whole plan was his idea and Grace was just a pawn. Now, Sister Jude knows this is bullshit chivalry. She sneers to Grace that "he thinks you're just one big scoop of strawberry ice cream." But I think she also hates Kit all the more now for trying to be the good guy. So she's more than happy to add the 20 lashes she would've given Grace to Kit's 20. Forty lashes for "Sir Galahad." Coming right up. We see the first five or so, before the episode mercifully ends.
Joe R is psyched to see what heights of overacting Lily Rabe will reach now that Sister Eunice is possessed. He can be reached for lavish praise and nothing but at joseph.reid21@gmail.com.