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This week, Top Model tries to fool you into thinking you're actually watching the Project Runway premiere as the girls find themselves becoming muses for fashion design students. Each girl has a Bea Arthur-approved powder blue '80s suit that is turned into a fashion-forward garment inspired by her personality. The girls then participate in a runway show in which they have to model said garment in front of a small audience and give a three-sentence speech about what makes them so muse-like. In what I'm sure is a huge shock, Heather has some problems with speaking in front of people, and it really gets her down. Back at home, she takes out her frustrations on the rest of the girls when she calls the shower first, but Saleisha and Lisa dart in before her. Likely traumatized by the time Bianca cut in line for the phone, Heather decides to take a stand. The real mystery here is why everyone showers together and/or hangs out in the bathroom while other people are showering. It's like a Porky's 3 fantasy. Let's hope Heather doesn't drop the soap. In the end, Heather kind of goes off, and the other girls are a little freaked out by her, and also a little tired of her. I myself am tired of hearing the word "fustrated." The photo shoot for the week finds the girls stranded in the desert, posing with a burning car. It's all good times until Jenah's weave goes up Michael Jackson-style. No, no, just kidding. But how awesome would that have been? If there ever was a weave that deserved to be incinerated, that one is it. While Bianca, Chantal, Jenah, and Saleisha sparkle Death Valley-style, Heather, Lisa, and Ambreal struggle to show off their sequined mini-dresses and look annoyed and hot all at the same time. At judging, a very colorful Chinese dragon-lion prances around the room and lets the girls know that the six who make it through judging will be going to Shanghai. Ambreal, however, will have to enjoy some General Tso's stateside, because she finally gets the axe. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Previously: Tyra gave the girls a master class in being video hos, and they were able to use their new skills in an Enrique Iglesias video. While Lisa and Heather were naturals as skanky, forward vampires, Sarah and Chantal did not impress. Sarah was sent home, where she will, we hope, be able to conquer the complex about her weight that she developed on the show, and then smother the eventual winner. With kisses!
We enter to see Lisa preening in front of the mirror. She says that she wants the perfect ten from the judges, but that this will never happen. How's that for being an optimist? Once you start thinking you're doing well, she says, they don't like it. Dennis Kucinich knows exactly how Lisa feels. Just once, he'd like to hear Nigel tell him he's so wrong he's right and get his picture first. Lisa tells us that she feels good about getting called first last week, and that she wants to stay at the top of the pack, but that she knows she won't, because the other girls are really good. Meanwhile, Bianca asks Heather what her prediction is for the top five. Heather just kind of shrugs and eats her cereal. She tells us that she got really bummed out after Sarah left, because she and Sarah were really close. It's worse this time than when girls have been eliminated before. That's because Sarah was kind of the only one who seemed to care that Heather was about to pass out at the video shoot. The others were all, "What? Heather? I think she's in the bathroom. Oooh, don't break your heel on that ashen vampire prop that fell on the floor!" Heather tells Bianca that she doesn't want to see anyone go home. Bianca lies that she doesn't either, but that, at some point, either one of them might have to go. She tells Heather that she doesn't want to see her go home, because she'll break down. Nice. If there's one thing you can say about Bianca, it's that she's relentless. Bianca interviews that Heather will be put in situations and won't be able to handle herself -- she'll really have a nervous breakdown. One can only hope it's on camera!
Tyra Mail! "Get ready to be schooled. I know you'll be aMUSEd." Chantal conjectures that Tyra is going to teach them how to be inspiring. Chantal has already inspired me to start a non-profit dedicated to the advancement of pretty yet dumb people. Except there is another organization with this same mission, and it's called "Life."
The girls head to the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising. You know that Tim Gunn got Tyra's request to film this at Parsons, gave a small chuckle to himself, shook his head once, and wrote a note back that said, "Do NOT carry on." At FIDM, the girls meet Benny Ninja, who is dressed like Spock at a gay bagpipe convention. He introduces the girls to Neal Hamil, the director of Elite Model Management. Oh, wow! This is the time when Neal Hamil starts to get panicky about his latest acquisition for the Dead Weight Division of Elite. He tells the girls that today's challenge is going to be about being a designer's muse. Each girl will be paired with a student designer, and her job is to inspire that designer to create a look especially for her. The resulting fashions will be displayed in a runway show the following day. Neal Hamil is super-creepy with his 1970s glasses and hair, and I get the feeling that he's actually the director of the El-Eat Model Agency and really just wants to take some naked pictures of the girls on his grimy vinyl couch. But no matter. Everyone is busy looking at the pale blue monstrosity of a dress that each designer will have to use for his or her raw material. It's, like, something that not even Bea Arthur would wear.
The girls meet their student designers. Student Angelo Estrada asks his model, Lisa, to tell him a little about herself. She says that she loves to draw, and to show her legs. Well, everyone has to have hobbies. She interviews that they're supposed to inspire a designer based on who they are, but that she just went blank. If there is one time when it would benefit Lisa to tell someone that she's a bikini dancer, this is probably it. Well, second only to the semi-finals. Benny plays Tim Gunn as Bianca's designer, Yuko Pena, tells her she's thinking Cleopatra. Bianca isn't feeling it. Student Richard Chan asks Chantal to give him a pose that makes her the model that she is. Chantal puts a hand on a cocked hip and gives her best fierce face. Yep, that about sums it up. Angela Avanesyan tells Jenah that she sees her as a ballerina, and Jenah asks where the rock-star element comes in. I would probably tell my designer that I was a rock star, too, so I can't fault her for this. Bianca's designer, meanwhile, is prattling on about the fact that Cleopatra wouldn't be on a public beach, but rather in the Mediterranean. Bianca wonders what the Mediterranean Sea has to do with New York City. These two are quite the dream team, eh? Yuko then says that she wants to give Bianca little big earring. Bianca scowls. Heather meets her designer, Justin Green. She says that he was nervous at first, which made her nervous. Julia Chumak is excited to work with Ambreal, who tells her that she's goofy and crazy. Heather tells Justin that when she was a kid, her friends were always water nymphs while she was air or fire, which makes sense because she's a fire sign. Hoo boy. Justin quite succinctly interviews, "Usually when I work with other models I don't really have to work as hard." Angelo, meanwhile, wants Lisa to be the model who crashes the party. He says that she's elegant, but also has a party girl side to her, so he wants to fuse the two. Benny Tim Gunns that Bianca doesn't look too happy with Yuko's plans. Bianca says that she likes a lot of in-your-face colors, and Benny replies, "Like a Crayola crayon threw up on you?" Yes, this is right. Yuko decides to do a fitted tutu, which Benny thinks will look a lot better. If only Jeffrey had gone this route with Angela's mom! Benny dismisses the girls so the designers can get to work in preparation for the runway show tomorrow.
Back at the house, Lisa says that she's preparing to strut her stuff at the challenge, and not show any fear. This bit of foreshadowing really made me curious what the magnitude of her fuckup was going to be. Some of the girls talk, and Bianca says that her pictures are getting better and she's really happy, but she wants to win a challenge. She interviews that this is her time to shine. Meanwhile, the judges have been confusing the crap out of Ambreal. She interviews, in what I believe is the exact same interview from last week, that the judges lost faith in her, and thus wanted to send her home, and that she has to prove that she deserves to be there. At this point I was really hoping she'd go home this week, just so I wouldn't have to hear that same old song anymore.
And then, Bianca says, "Can I say this without being, like, wrong? Okay." It's like a wind-up for trash talking, right there. There's also no pause between "wrong" and "okay," so she's really not asking for permission. Bianca adds that she used to look at Heather as a really big threat, but that now she thinks that Heather has an amazing face, and that's it. And to paraphrase Patty Smyth, sometimes an amazing face ain't enough. Bianca interviews that Heather has pretty pictures because her face is pretty, but that she doesn't do anything that stands out. I think this actually is last week's episode, minus the wall slide and crappy Enrique Iglesias song. Ambreal adds that a lot of people are looking up to Heather, but that she fears for her when she opens her mouth. She might have a point there. Heather curls up under the covers, meanwhile, blissfully unawares. That stuffed monkey she sleeps with heard everything, though, and is going to suffocate some bitches in their sleep.
The day, the girls head back to FIDM, where they are greeted by the Mayor and Mayoress of Freakville, circa 1974. It is Neal Hamil, once again, looking like he's fifteen minutes late to his gig hosting Card Sharks, and Ann Shoket, editor-in-chief of Seventeen, who is wearing one of Brett Somers's hand-me-down muumuus. They are freaking me the fuck out. Ann Shoket tells us that the winner of the challenge will appear in a gorgeous holiday jewelry story in Seventeen's holiday issue. The cover model will be up-and-comer Vicki Lawrence.
The girls meet up with their designers and are fitted in their dresses, all of which are at least partially ugly, and some of which are truly hideous. Jenah loves her dress, but Bianca doesn't think that hers works at all. Heather interviews that her designer is sweet and artistic, but that the dress just isn't her. Well, get over it and work that shit on the runway, is what I say. Have these girls learned nothing? Benny Ninja tells the girls that, on the runway, they'll each have to say a couple of lines about the outfit, and how they inspired their designer. They'll be judged on their runway performance, as well as how well they embody the design that they helped create. He tells them to own it. YES. Benny Ninja is totally being groomed to be the Miss J. Which, good for him, even though I think he might benefit from higher aspirations.
Bianca is first out on the runway in her terrible, terrible ballerina outfit, and says, "Didn't you know I was Yuko's muse? Well, I have inspired this 2007 remake of Cleopatra Jones. So ladies, hold onto your dudes, because you are gonna discover Cleopatra's got a bit of an attitude." Okay, two things. (1) Either Bianca is being funkily Afrocentric, or she actually thinks that Cleopatra's last name was "Jones." (2) Was the rhyming couplet in the second half a shout-out to Nipsey Russell? Because if so, bravo, my friend! Bianca says that she's serving it, and thinks she's got it.
Heather is , and is praying to God that this works out, because she really wants it. Remember that one week when Heather looked amazing in all her interviews? That week is over. She walks out on the runway and starts getting a bit of stage fright. She begins to tell the audience that she's Justin's muse, but instantly gets thrown off track by the fact that she can't say the word "muse." She looks around and giggles nervously, Benny Ninja puts his head in his hands, and we cut to commercials.
When we return, Justin looks like he wants to murder Heather. She eventually gets out that through her timeless look and gentle personality she was able to inspire the spirit of the ocean. Heather interviews that she was trying to be elegant and fierce and all the things that Justin -- who looks more like Bobby Trendy with each passing reaction shot -- want her to be, but that it was too much. Yes, sometimes life is very challenging. She comes backstage and pouts. Chantal says that the competition is getting stiff and fierce, and that Heather's nerves are getting to her.
Ambreal is ready to do what she has to do and win a challenge. She prances on tothe runway in her Alice in Wonderland falling-down-the-neon-sign-hole dress, and thinks she did a pretty good job. So does Justin, who I think will make a point of clapping extra loud for every model who isn't as impaired as Heather.
Jenah is , and her rocker attitude and angelic looks inspired a rock-star ballerina dress. Her whole thing is very Gwen Stefani, which Neal enjoys.
Lisa is nervous backstage, and she walks out and also gets stumped for a moment. She helped inspire her design due to her soft and conservative ways, and also her edgy and exotic something-or-other. Ann Shoket looks troubled, probably because Lisa does not appear to know what "conservative" means. Lisa interviews that she sucked, which is pretty much true. She pouts, "No more America's Top Model for me" as she comes backstage. Chantal interviews that you are going to make mistakes, and that you just have to dust it off and get it together. Yes, dust it off like so many sprays of baby's breath in a congratulatory bouquet.
Chantal is on the runway, where she says her ethereal and graceful personality contributed to her goddess Barbie dress. Ann Shoket is 100% sure this time that Chantal does not know what "ethereal" means. I think that's a safe bet.
Saleisha is . Her girly personality inspired her designer to create a pixie ensemble. Neal thinks that Saleisha has good presence on the runway, and that he really enjoyed watching her sell the dress. Oh my God, it's happening! Now he's going to ask her to be in some newspaper advertisements. Will Mrs. Garrett be able to save Saleisha from the borderline kiddie porn operation in time? Either way, week's ANTM will be sure to be a very special episode. Jenah mocks Saleisha's girly ways and wink at the end of the runway. That is pretty irritating.
Neal and Ann judge the girls. Ambreal rushed it a little, and oversold her dress. Ann warns her not to step over the line into corny and cheesy. Ann loves to call people corny! Even her vocabulary is stuck in the '70s. Bianca's attitude gets props, except for the part where the attitude overshadowed the dress. Lisa's flubs derailed her, and Ann says that she needs to have the confidence just to skate right over it. Neal agrees that when she spoke, it was a weak moment. Lisa interviews that she already knew what they were going to tell her. Ann notes that Heather's dress was inspired by the beach, and it was a pretty blah trip. It was, like, Beached Whale Beach. Ann felt like Heather didn't want to be there, and Neal was disappointed that she couldn't deliver her three lines. Ann adds that even if Heather's not feeling it, she has to make Ann feel it. If Ann had given this critique to Bianca, Bianca would have responded, "Oh, I'll make you feel it, all right," and we'd be left with nothing but a bloody muumuu on the ground. Heather interviews that she's not the ocean; she's not even a water sign, she's a fire sign. In this case, I don't think Heather can blame Asperger's for the fact that she's f'ing crazy.
In any case, the winner of the challenge is Saleisha. She feels good that she impressed the reps from Elite and Seventeen. Saleisha picks Bianca and Lisa to share in her prize. Bianca's excited about this, since she hasn't gotten to partake in any challenge-related winnings yet. She should try winning a challenge. Heather, meanwhile, is bawling. Saleisha tells her not to beat herself up over it, but Heather says that she did the worst of anyone. Saleisha and Lisa tell her that there's still lots of time left to redeem herself. Lisa interviews that Heather's very sensitive, and felt a little bit frustrated. "I can understand that frustration pretty good," she adds. Lisa's grasp on the first "r" in "frustration" is shaky at best, though I wouldn't say that this is the defining factor in making everything that she says sound SO FREAKING SAD. Cheer up, Charlie. Bianca, less sympathetic, says that Heather needs to get tough skin and keep bouncing back. I actually think that this is what Heather needs to hear. As Bianca points out, nobody in the fashion industry is really thinking about making you feel good about yourself. Heather interviews that she's pushing herself as hard as she can, and that she doesn't know what's wrong, but it's really frustrating. Heather's grasp on the first "r" in "frustrating" is nil, which is exactly the critique I'd give her, and then shout "fustrating fustrating fustrating" at her until she cried, with a few "liberry"s thrown in for good measure.
Bianca, Saleisha, and Lisa head off to the Seventeen jewelry shoot. Saleisha is happy to pose in some normal clothes and get to be pretty, for once. She says that she's going to buy every Seventeen on the shelf, presumably so that she can gaze upon how great Bianca's picture came out.
The girls return home. Heather, lagging behind the other girls by about five feet, mumbles, "I call shower." There is Tyra Mail. "Feeling burnt out by the competition? Get ready, 'cause the heat is on!" Chantal interviews that she is getting burnt out by the competition. The girls are together 24-7, and there's no privacy. Seriously, I am just waiting for the season one of the girls gets all Dexter on the rest of the house. Oh, wait, maybe that, in fact, will be this season. To wit: Lisa and Saleisha go running into the shower. Heather, as she says in her interview, thought to herself, "No." Heather unhooks her bra and heads into the shower, looking kind of scary, and not just because she's naked. She says that she called the shower first. Bianca and Jenah observe and laugh from the bathroom sink. Heather interviews that they know very damn well that she called the shower first, and that she's not having the best of days. Can I just stop the action for a minute here and ask why everyone's showering together? If there are any pre-teen boys out there who are all like, "SCORE, DUDE! I knew that real life was just like Cinemax After Dark!," let me assure you that it, in fact, is not. Heather screams at Lisa and Saleisha in the shower that what they did was bullshit, and Saleisha quite pragmatically screams back that Heather's in the shower now, so she should shut up. Heather -- who, it can't be denied, is in the middle of washing her hair -- doesn't have a whole lot to say to that. Lisa and Saleisha are cracking up. Heather interviews that the other girls forget that she has a breaking point, too. I would contend that the other girls actually never forget that Heather has a breaking point, nor do they forget that it's kind of hilarious to see it in action. To wit, Bianca knocks on the shower door and tells Heather that she needs to come pick up her underwear. Heather interviews that the other girls feel a need to pick at her when she's not acting like her happy, cheery self. And again, I think they like to pick at her because she then becomes her regular old weird self, times 1000. Ambreal notes that Heather snaps sometimes, and that you just can't do that. Saleisha interviews that Heather looked like she wanted to do voodoo on her, and that she decided not to mess with her anymore, and just to shower and get the heck up out of there. Wise choice. Heather looks like she's contemplating whether to stick the pin in the eye or the esophagus first.
When Heather gets out of the shower, Bianca asks her why she's so upset. Heather brings up her terrible critique, and Bianca asks whether she thinks she's going to be perfect at everything. Heather says that she just wants to do well, and Bianca says that she didn't, and has to be better time. Heather brushes her wet hair in slow motion, and looks not a little like Samara from The Ring. She's totally going to rock the photo shoot if she can make her way back up out of the well. Commercials.
And, oh my God, Jaslene is giving autographs at Wal-Mart. As if Wal-Mart isn't terrifying enough!
When we return, Ambreal talks to her dad on the phone. She says she's trying to do her best, and her dad tells her to do more than her best. Ambreal wants her parents to be proud of her, so it's important for her to step up her game for the photo shoot. Her dad, in turn, promises to lift her up in prayer. Jesus is all, "Sorry, but I'm on Team Heather."
The girls head on a road trip to the shoot, and are driving in their bus for hours. Suddenly, someone thinks to look out of the window, and they discover that they're in the middle of the 135-degree desert. Please let Chantal be scooped up by a giant mutant bird of prey! The bus drives off and they are stranded, or so they supposedly think. They see a figure coming toward them. It's Mr. Jay, looking just like a mirage that's going to start singing about what you get when you guzzle down sweets. He tells them that, today, they're going to be in model wasteland, with burning cars behind them. It's not about giving pretty, but giving desperation and emotion to sell the image. As they all applied to be on this show of their own free will, I'm thinking they should have the "desperation" thing down. Lisa is glad that she gets another chance to redeem herself, and just hopes she doesn't start to overthink it, because whenever she does, she does a bad job.
The girls head to hair and makeup, and Jay introduces them to Trevor O'Shana, their photographer for the day. Bianca is up first, in a gold sparkly dress. I imagine that she gets to stand in front of a burning car about once a week in her regular life, so should be able to nail this. She says that she's confident and ready to go, and right now her only concern is getting called first. Jay says that she's wearing him out with how fabulous she is. In makeup, Sutan tells Heather that she's a very beautiful woman. Heather thanks him, and notes that that's what was said in the challenge, but...and at the mere hint that Heather is going to launch into the world's tiniest fiddle solo AGAIN, the other girls tell her to let it go. Heather tells us that she still has all the fustration left over from the challenge, but that she doesn't want to let it get in her way.
Heather's up , and Jay tells her to do what she would do if she were stranded in the desert in front of a burning car. Walk away from the car? I'm no survivalist, but that strikes me as the obvious choice. Jay says that Heather was lost today, and tells her that most of the shots were pretty awkward. Heather hopes that Jay isn't too disappointed.
Chantal is , and lets her frustrating dress inspire her. She interviews that she craves the photo shoots like water, and that all she wants is to be in front of the camera all the time. If a genie came down right now and granted me three Top Model wishes, my first would be that Janice Dickinson return to the panel; my second would be that Brandy be a contestant on every season of the show, up to and after she actually won; and the third would be that Chantal turn really ugly for, like, a month. Just long enough to make it count, you know? In any case, Chantal does a good job.
Saleisha is up and starts off too posey, but uses her anger at Jay -- who manages to throw off more flames than the car -- to make it work.
Ambreal is , and Bianca notes that Jay is her archenemy. He just hates people who suck all the time, I think. Jay tells Ambreal that she gets another week to really prove to people that she deserves this. He tells her to use the fact that she's pissed off that she might be going home to motivate her, and then continuously yells that she's too posey. Ambreal interviews that she had no idea what Jay wanted, and got really frustrated. Finally, someone who can say "frustrated."
Jenah is up and kills it, per usual. Jay tells us that her body language was amazing.
Finally there's Lisa, who runs down the challenges of being glamorous while standing to a burning car. I imagine that Whitesnake knows a thing or two about this. Jay says that while Lisa looked great, she didn't work the garment, and at the end of the day, it's all about how the garment works on you. ["I swear, that's the first time we have ever heard that critique on this show." -- Wing Chun]
Back at home, Heather sulks. She says that Jay says she did well, but that it wasn't her strongest shoot. She interviews that she tried her damn hardest, but that it didn't work out, and it was -- you guessed it -- fustrating. AGH. The girls have a group conversation, and Bianca tells Heather that she takes a lot of situations much more seriously than the rest of them. The shower situation is raised as an example. Heather says that she didn't have a problem sharing the shower, but that she did have a problem that someone butted her out, even though she had called it. She tells the others that if the same thing happened to them, they'd bitch about it, too. Ambreal tells her to hold up, and says that a lot of things haven't gone like she wanted them to, but she sits back and just says it's cool. Ambreal interviews that Heather can't have her way all the time. She dwells on the negative all the time, and Ambreal thinks that she's been babied a lot. Heather reiterates to the others that she's having a tough week, and doesn't know why she's snapping. Chantal says that if she needs to talk, she should let it out, and not take it out on the rest of them. Oh, but it's so fun when she takes it out for the rest of them!
Tyra Mail! Someone's going home. Heather cries in an interview and says that this might be her last chance; she's really worried. Commercials. Which, speaking of, have you all seen the latest commercial for The Tyra Banks Show? This year she's telling us to kiss her fat ass...more! Feel the revolution!
When we return, it's time for Panel. There are prizes, there are judges. There are also funny little puppets that pop up behind a couple of the judges, which make me think I'm having an acid flashback. Neal Hamil is the guest judge. And then, I shit you not, a gong sounds. Yes, a gong. A Chinese dragon comes out and blinks its eyes. Tyra apparently speaks its language, which should come as no surprise. Tyra translates, letting the girls know that this dragon/lion just told her that they are going to CHINA! And then, like, some warriors come out and start throwing swords around, and Tyra opens and closes a big fan, and there are more gongs. , I suppose a young schoolgirl is going to come out and tutor them in math and violin. Someone will need those skills, as it were, because there are seven girls in front of Tyra, but only six will be going to China. Okay, that is pretty cruel. I love it!
Jenah is up first for evaluation. The judges love her photo, per usual. Tyra says that she was all over the place in her film, in a good way. She took risks! Heather is up and gives a happy hello, which Nigel enjoys. Twiggy loves Heather's shot, but Miss J. thinks she looks like she has to go to the toilet, and Tyra says that it was her weakest shoot to date. She asks Heather what she was feeling, and Heather says that she was having one of those weeks where nothing goes your way. She brings up the challenge, and says that she tried her hardest, but that it seemed like something was missing. Neal says that this comment is probably directed at him since he was very hard on her that day. He tells Heather that this is a business, and that it's not personal. He's there to give her his honest opinion. And then determine who gets to be the center square. Tyra tells Heather, "It's called compartmentalizing, and it's something I do." Uh, yeah. So we gathered. Twiggy loves the attitude in Saleisha's photo, but Nigel says that her shot is pretty, but not striking. Tyra says that Saleisha took some chances in her film, but only for two frames. She tells her to go all out. Nigel says that Chantal's picture is her best to date, and Twiggy agrees. Tyra says that Chantal's legs look a trillion miles long, and Miss J. adds, "They look as long as the desert." Someone call Ezra Pound and tell him his successors have been found! Ambreal is up . Facially, she looks beautiful, but as she's sitting down, she's no longer showing the clothes. He tells her to take elements of what she would do, and then remember that she's a model. Tyra loves Ambreal's face in the photo, but in a lot of her shots, her legs are facing the camera straight-on when she's sitting down, which looked weird. Bianca is , and gets complimented on the shorts she's wearing. Bianca says that she got them from a little store called Jenah's closet. Hee. In her photo, Bianca actually looks like she set the car on fire. Miss J. says she's like, "Yeah, I did it. Now what? Yeah." Neal repeats this sentiment, and sounds like the wimpiest, whitest guy ever. He thinks that Bianca looks great. The judges all love it, and Tyra says that Bianca was herself, and that it really worked. Lisa's photo gets resounding silence for a moment. Her face looks great, but her body doesn't get any raves. The judges think she looks kind of squat, and that her legs look short. I think her legs actually look really long, but maybe I still can't see straight since the shiny dragon visit. GONG!
Heather is the Cover Girl of the Week for, like, the millionth time in a row.
The judges deliberate. Everyone loves Jenah, and Neal thinks she's one of the best in the group. Heather's picture isn't one of the best, but Miss J. loves Heather's mystery, and Twiggy is excited by her unique looks. Tyra agrees that Heather is hot. See, sometimes she does get a free pass, kind of. Nigel isn't crazy about Saleisha's photo, but says she looked drop-dead gorgeous in judging. Neal thinks Saleisha is cool and a great little model. He likes her. Oh, does he. Don't go to the bike shop with him, Saleisha! Oh wait, that was Arnold Drummond. Same basic theme, though. Twiggy is glad that Chantal doesn't look sweet in her photo. Neal thinks that Chantal has a nice face, but he doesn't see superstar. Tyra notes that she's finally figured out that Chantal looks like Cheryl Tiegs. She does, too. Neal doesn't think Ambreal is special enough to be America's Top Model. When you think of some of the past winners, that statement takes on a whole different context. Nigel doesn't think Ambreal has the gift of modeling, even though she's a nice girl.
Bianca's shot is interesting, and Nigel thinks she's rising in the competition. Neal thinks she's strong personality-wise, and draws you in. Twiggy also thinks she's amazing. She says, "Good ol' Bi-an-ca." Tyra gets all salty with Twiggy by mocking her pronunciation, and adds, "If only that was her name." EW! Methinks the time has come for Twiggy to give her very first bitch slap. Lisa's photo isn't great, but she's still one of Miss J.'s favorite girls there. Nigel thinks she's getting worse, and Neal adds that there's something about her that isn't quite fresh enough for him. There is a LOT about Lisa that isn't quite fresh enough for Neal, I'll bet. Tyra asks why the modeling industry is obsessed with big girls looking like children. Neal then says, "Fresh," and Tyra baby-talks that she thinks Neal looks fresh. Way to prove a point, dumb-ass.
The models return. Six of them will get a photo, and go to China. The Shanghai Six include: Bianca, Jenah, Saleisha, Chantal, and Heather. This leaves Lisa and Ambreal. Both seem to be a little teary. Ambreal is a beautiful girl, and the judges kind of see it captured on film, but not strongly enough. She might be a gorgeous girl, but not a model. Lisa, meanwhile, is a model, but she's fading. So who do the judges think is strong enough to continue on overseas, in a country that Tyra's never been to? Lisa. Tyra tells Lisa not to let the stress of the competition dull her sparkle, and to remember what got her here. What does a tragic backstory have to do with any of this? Ambreal hugs everyone and tells them she's proud of them. She looks relieved, in a way, and even does a dance as she exits.
Ambreal tells us that she feels like she should be packing for China right now, but that she really has enjoyed the experience. She prayed before she came there, and says that evidently, this is not for her. By "this" she means the competition, because she says that modeling still is for her. Yyyeeeeeahhhh. Modeling is in Ambreal's heart, so she's going to keep going for it. Well, it's good to have dreams, I guess.
week: Shanghai non-surprise: Heather and Lisa lose it again.