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This week is all about art and poise, as the girls must pose first as statues and then as artwork, and try not to get flummoxed by pigeons and by their own stupidity, respectively. You can guess how that goes. The famous photographer guy who took that shot of Twiggy shoots the girls as modern reinterpretations of famous paintings, which means that they wear a lot less clothing and have backgrounds courtesy of Glamour Shots. And something else happened...oh, yes. When her granola bar goes missing, Bre suffers a complete psychotic break. She rants, she raves, she pours Nicole's Red Bull down the drain, and somehow it all becomes Kim's fault. And then Kim is eliminated, which seems like a grave injustice until you realize what a terrible model she was. We are down to the final four, and I am thankful for only half of them. Enjoy your turkey/tofurkey, everyone! Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Previously: Bre and Kim had a showdown in which Kim cried and ostensibly felt bad about how much shit she talked behind people's backs; the show set up some fake-ass paparazzi to snap the girls' photos; Lisa was eliminated somewhat unjustly; and I put cranberries in my Thanksgiving stuffing. Delicious!
And meanwhile, while the credits are playing, allow me to tell you about the greatest thing on TV in, like, ever. Yes, it is CMT Crossroads, one of my favorite shows, featuring none other than LIONEL RICHIE AND KENNY ROGERS!!! It was so great it may have even trumped my other favorite Crossroads featuring Elvis Costello and Lucinda Williams, if not only because Kenny and Lionel are practically LOVERS. It was some of the best ninety minutes of my life. You want fierce? Try "Easy" with a side dish of "She Believes In Me" and a "Ruby Don't Take Your Love to Town" chaser. And now, back to our regularly scheduled recap.
We're in London. Nik confessionalizes that Lisa's elimination was surprising and shocking. Kim agrees, and says she thought from the beginning that Lisa would be in the top three. Bre says that their mouths all dropped when Jayla's name was called. See, even though they all hated Lisa, they knew she was a good model. Conversely, even though they all hate Jayla, they knew that her ass and all the crabs that crawl around on it should have been out of there weeks ago. The top models aren't that different from you and me, after all. Nik says that it's scary that Lisa did so well and still went home, and that it indicates that any of them can go home at any time for no reason at all, and I don't know why this news is new, because if Top Model is anything, it is an extension of Tyra's mood swings.
Bre and Kim sit at a window in their hotel suite. Kim says, "How amazing would it be if you and I were in the top three together?" Bre squeals, and they trade a few "amazing"s, and maybe they are just talking about a trip to the Amazing Superstore? Not that I know what that is, mind you. Kim interviews that the whole limo incident was blown way out of proportion, and we get a flashback of Bre calling Kim obnoxious, and Kim taking it like the puss she secretly is. Kim says that they've put their problems aside, and that they also want to help each other out because they care about one another. And as Tyra has shown us, caring equals yelling. See what she hath wrought?! Bre interviews that, in London, the competition has become even fiercer. So fierce, in fact, that it "boggles the brain." Or, in Nicole's case, it boggles the space where the brain would be. Bre tells Kim that God has plans for her. She does not tell Kim that those plans involve yet another can of whup-ass. The Lord works in mysterious ways.
Tyra Mail! "Find out the pecking order at 7:00 AM." They think perhaps "pecking order" has something to do with how they are ranked, and not with real live dirty birds. Suckas!
The girls travel to a park, where they meet fashion stylist Jason Leung, who also teaches at the London College of Fashion. Which reminds me that I'm teaching two seminars at Recapper's College this spring, so be sure to pick up a catalogue at your local Whole Foods. Today, the girls are going to learn about posing by taking a tour of London and viewing sculptures. Jason tells them to remember that, when posing for sculptors, models had to concentrate for long periods of time. Unless they were the aforementioned Lionel Richie, in which case their sculptor makes a bust that looks nothing like them by sense of touch alone while they stalk her kind of creepily but she doesn't know because she's blind, for God's sake. Don't assume I know nothing about art, Professor Dressmaker. As top models, says Professor Dressmaker, it's important for the models to be able to concentrate on the photographer, particularly while they're flying through the air or jumping on a trampoline or roller skating or hanging out in the bottom of a grave or swimming in a fish tank or just thinking about how ugly they look naturally.
The tour commences on yet another double-decker bus. They see a sculpture of Eros, the Greek God of Love, who is kind of standing on one leg and shooting an arrow. Jason tells the girls to imagine having to pose for that, and how long they'd have to stand on their tiptoes. Jayla says she's never thought before to look at a statue and wonder why it looks the way it does. It's because of the pose, she says, and if you fall out of your pose even a tiny little bit, you can completely ruin something. Jayla can now add this to her repertoire of "ways you can completely ruin something," right after "being myself." Jason takes the girls for a walk in Regent Park, where they run into a big swishy prissy statue in the guise of Miss J. Er, vice versa. Jason says that Miss J. is totally focused and doesn't even move when he hears talking. Try to have that middle Hanson boy walk by him and then see what happens. If Miss J. is anything, he's a sucker for "Mmm Bop" nostalgia. Miss J. tells the girls that, for their challenge, they'll be judged on statuesque poses, focus, and concentration. Jason tells the girls that whoever keeps her focus amidst the manifold distractions around her will emerge victorious and win a huge shopping spree. Miss J. says that since they're posing like statues, they'll also have to look like statues. This means sprayed-on silver body paint and, perhaps, a roll in peanut butter and bird seed.
The girls are each adorned in a toga and placed on a pedestal while holding two shallow bowls. The look screams Greek chic. Nicole interviews that she was thinking she could totally do it and win the challenge. And then, she is attacked by pigeons. Cue clown music. I love that, somewhere, someone has trained pigeons to attack models. I bet it was Bert. Nicole has no focus amidst the vermin birds. Miss J. tap dances. A pigeon lands on Nik's head, and she doesn't move. That does require some concentration. Kim interviews that pigeons are the dirtiest birds ever. Bre says that she has a pigeon on her head (and one on her shoulder, I might add), and Miss J. tells her not to worry, because they're toilet-trained. It becomes clear that the shallow bowls the girls are holding are filled with seed that, in keeping with the British theme, cost a tuppence a bag. Tuppence, tuppence, tuppence a bag. Feed the birds, bitches! Bre says that pigeons are basically flying rats, who also eat rats, and would eat Bre if they could. Also, blind. Nik interviews that she knew she needed to step up her game, and true to form, she doesn't blink an eye. Just like Sarah, the pigeons are all over Kim. One pigeon perches on her head, and another pigeon perches on top of that pigeon, because the female in that couple has bicurious tendencies and they think that maybe Kim answered their personal ad. Which, she probably did. Kim says that, by the end, she didn't mind the pigeons, and the way they scratched her head felt kind of nice. I can buy that. I love a good head scratch. Kim's headband falls over her eyes, and Miss J. says that Kim doesn't have any distractions now because she can't see a damn thing. Jason says that Kim wasn't very imaginative with her poses. He also says that Jayla looks like she was concentrating too hard. Nicole interviews that she started crying and felt like a huge fool, but that she just doesn't like having large birds on top of her. Again, not really unreasonable. Miss J. coos and primps and the challenge is over.
Back in their bus or van or whatever non-Hummer limo they have in England, Bre tells the others that the pigeon debacle made for the funniest challenge ever. Nicole says that she was humiliated. Bre interviews that Nicole complains about everything. Cut to Nicole complaining about the challenge. Bre says that Nicole's voice is annoying, sharp, and alarming. Cut to Nicole vocalizing things in an annoying, sharp, and alarming manner. Cut to Bre saying that her hair "is always at ends" when Nicole talks. And say what you will about her, but Bre is kind of right about Nicole being annoying.
The girls reconvene with Miss J. and Jason. They learn that the winner's shopping spree is worth $15,000. That is a good-ass prize. The winner also gets to take two friends. And the winner is Nik! She says that heretofore she's been the girl on the bottom in terms of the challenges, so it feels good to be on top. She has this exact conversation with American Express every so often, I bet. Nik quickly says that she will take Bre as her first companion and, after a bit of a pause, she also chooses Jayla. Yes, JAYLA. Jayla who, obviously unbeknownst to Nik, called Nik a stupid, stupid bitch. ["Which she might be, if she picked Jayla for her shopping spree." -- Wing Chun] Everyone seriously hates Kim at this point, I guess. And really, Kim would only use her portion of that $15,000 to buy more knee-length pants, so what Nik has done is something of a gift to humanity. Nik says "thank you" as they exit, because she is nice and not at all hateful and deserving to be the winner and all that good editing stuff.
Back at the hotel, Bre says that if Nicole leaves her sweater out one more time, Bre is going to throw it in the garbage. If you haven't caught the subtext, Bre hates Nicole, and is also a bit of a crankypants. Bre interviews that, all day, Nicole was getting on Bre's nerves, and that Bre was really stressed out and just wanted to sleep. Cut to Kim asking Nicole if she wants to work out, and Nicole bratting, "Working out is so overrated." See, she really is annoying. Bre interviews that Nicole is always very loud and inconsiderate. Cut to Nicole bouncing on the beds and yelling that they're much more bouncy than the beds at home. She starts yelling something about calling the "hellhouse [the "House of Top Model back in L.A.] our home." Bre says that she's aggravated [sic], and that Nicole just adds to that frustration. Bre tries to sleep in her bra, which is perhaps the first sign of the onset of dementia. Nicole makes horse clomping noises, and interviews that she knows Bre thinks she's loud and obnoxious, but that she doesn't care because she's still going to have fun and be happy no matter who is acting like a crankypants, so stuff that in your sleep bra, Bre, you wanker.
Meanwhile, Kim announces that there is Tyra Mail. She has to wake up several of the others before she can read it. Tyra Mail comes from, like, Mr. McFeely, but the delivery is anything but speedy. It's so late! The Tyra Mail says, "Have you ever felt like you were being framed?" Kim says that it's 1:00 in the morning and she's exhausted and has pigeon shit in her ear and really doesn't care to try to decipher it. Hey, me neither!
When we return, Bre spanks Kim on the ass and tells her to go. Kim maybe kind of thinks it's a joke, though she interviews that she felt kind of stupid because she's being bullied around, and not for the first time, may I add. Bre then gets total Eva Pigford voice and says that she was doing just fine until Kim weaseled her way in there, and Kim's mind wanders and thinks too much and she has to find out. Bre says this like it's a bad thing, but I think anyone in their right mind would be like, "What the fuck is going on?" Also, way to be upfront and confront people with your dilemmas, Bre. Kim says that of course she wanted to know what was going on, and that Bre told her that she put Jayla's dirty socks under Nicole's bed. Kim says, "Why?" It is a question we have all asked when pondering the fact that these models exist at all.
Bre tells Kim that she's going to find something worse in the morning. Oooh, empty Red Bull cans. I am shaking in my boots, you bad-ass. Nik looks on warily and interviews that she tries to stay out of the drama, because she has enough to deal with. Kim confessionalizes that she's just going to try to be cordial and get along with Bre the best that she can until one of them is eliminated and she doesn't have to deal with her anymore. Bre sips a cup of tea infused with the juice of Satan.
The day, Nik, Jayla, and Bre get to go on their shopping spree. They are chauffeured in a Harrod's Rolls Royce. Bre turns to Jayla and says, "You didn't eat them granola bars, right?" Well, now's a fine time to ask. Jayla turns to Bre and says, "Okay, what is this about the granola bars?" Dude, she totally did it. And kind of, I love her a little for that. Bre interviews that she knew it was Nicole, because there are no ghosts in the house. O...kay. Bre tells Jayla that she snuck into Nicole's room and emptied out her Red Bulls, leaving the empty cans around the sink. This is seriously the stupidest.
Back at the hotel, Nicole puns that she doesn't have the energy to get out of bed or be around the other bitches any more. Nicole interviews that she awoke to find the energy drink carcasses around the kitchen sink. She should boil them with carrots and celery and make a lovely soup! Kim interviews that, back in L.A., Bre was throwing around insults about her and bashing her in the limo. Another flashback. Kim says that at this point she's sorry she apologized to Bre. I am too. I really wish Kim had had a little more backbone in that situation. She landed at negative two points on my fantasy girlfriend team for the week. Nicole interviews that she thinks Bre is jealous of her, and also jealous of Kim, because Kim's doing really well right now. Kim and Nicole agree that they need to concentrate on having a good photo shoot so that they aren't the ones to get booted.
Meanwhile, the girls get to Harrods and learn via Lead Personal Shopper Sukeena Rao that they will be privy to Harrod's By Appointment service, in which they each get a personal shopper. Nik gets $10,000 and Bre and Jayla get $5,000 combined. They shop. They love shopping. Nik buys an expensive purse. It's not that exciting.
The three shoppers go directly to the photo shoot, where they meet Kim and Nicole. They also meet Jay Manuel, who is wearing a t-shirt with a woman's chest painted on it. (Not a naked chest, just a cleavage-y chest.) Nik notes that Jay's boobs look fabulous, and if anyone can appreciate a fabulous boob on another gal, it is Nik. Call me, Nik! The girls are doing a shoot for Olay Quench, a new body lotion that I'm sure is as crappy as every other product they shill on this godforsaken show. Oh...was that out loud? Jay says that, "back in the day," models used to sit for hours and hours as artists painted and sculpted them. The girls are going to have to recreate that same focus today, because they will be recreating classic art with a modern twist. Let the bastardization begin! Kim will pose as The Birth of Venus, Nicole will be The Girl With the Pearl Earring, Nik will be the Vitruvian Man, Bre will be the Mona Lisa, and Jayla will be Whistler's Mother. Jay then points out that his t-shirt is an homage to classic art, and given what we are to learn about Jay's cultural frame of reference, I guess Maxim as classic art is appropriate.
But we are not yet done. There is going to be a very special guest, who will introduce an extra-extra-special guest. The special guest is Twiggy, and she introduces Barry Lategan, the man who took the photo that launched Twiggy into superstardom. I wish the photographer for the week were Barry Gibb, or even my cousin Barry, who rocked a serious mullet for a good twelve years. If that isn't fashion, I don't know what is. Barry, who is sporting a bow tie and houndstooth hat, says in a very regal voice that the girls are going to be representing, in a modern sense, the way beauty has been looked at in the past. He says he's not going to look at them like a row of tomatoes that all look alike. All right, then. Jay says that very few models get the opportunity to be shot by a world-renowned photographer such as Barry. And I'm sure that the girls are going to really embrace this opportunity with heightened professionalism, grace and class. Right? Right?
Backstage, Jay brings the girls photos of the famous works of art they are emulating. Kim gets dressed in her Birth of Venus outfit, and lackeys rub Olay Quench all over her supple tummy. Instead of being in a classic lesbian signifier clam shell, as would be the obvious route, Kim will be emerging from a pool toy slash inflatable toilet bowl. Jay tells her to make her hands more graceful and not so much like catcher's mitts, and he totally stole that line from Janice. Oh, how I miss her. Jay says that you can't allow the competition to get in your head when you're modeling, and that unfortunately Kim couldn't find any grace in her stance. One really has nothing to do with the other, since normally Kim has the grace of Ed Asner. Backstage, Jay asks Jayla if she's been studying her picture. Jayla says she's seen it. She interviews that it should be a piece of cake because she's sat in a makeup chair, staring into space and not moving. Jay tells her that she should get on a chair and start working it out. She leans back and laughs and says she's already posing. Oh, just sit in a chair and give the twit what he wants, you big jerk.
Nik poses as the Vitruvian Man. Barry says that she used her arms in the most gymnastically coordinated way, and was completely in touch with every extension of her body. See, that's focus.
Jayla says that Whistler's Mother is boring and depressing, but that her challenge is to make it modern and sexy. The whole thing is very Whistler's MILF. Barry directs Jayla and says that she brought modernity to Whistler's Mother beautifully. Oooh, I hate when she does well.
Backstage, Kim asks Nicole, who still hasn't shot her photo, if she's going to ask Bre to pay for the Red Bulls. Nicole shrugs and asks if Kim thinks she should. Kim says that she doesn't know what to do in this situation and then STAY THE HELL OUT OF IT, JESUS. Bre's an asshole, but she kind of has a point about that. Nicole says that Kim has already involved herself in the situation, and did exactly what Nicole asked her not to do -- confront Bre at the shoot. Nicole secretly has really good sense, and Kim secretly really likes shit-stirring.
Meanwhile, Jay happens to be sitting right in the corner and asks, "Who confronted what?" Kim wastes no time in telling him about GranolaGate. Nicole says somewhat warily that now Jay knows everything. Jay then quoth, "This is like the whole age old story of, like...you know like the movie Showgirls or whatever?" There is no reference more fitting if this week's theme is great art. He tells Nicole that when competition heats up, people start to go kookoo, and there's always someone younger and hungrier coming down the stairs after you. Jay says that when girls get together, there are going to be fights, but that you need to learn how to put that stuff aside. Nicole tells Jay that she thinks Bre might have done this because it was right before their photo shoot, but that she wants to prove that it's not going to affect her at all. Jay says that it's time to get Nicole to set, and that he's proud that she isn't letting this affect her. A lackey slathers Olay Quench on Nicole's supple, bare leg as Nicole says alluringly, "What's that smell?" My cat Miss Itty wakes up and yells, "MY FARTS!" at the TV, paws at her fluffy toy mouse a little, and falls right back to sleep.
Nicole explains that she's trying to be The Girl with the Pearl Earring, and that she's never read the book, but that she knows the picture. Well, good then. Bre watches Nicole with total hawkeye while she poses, and Nicole says that she totally shut out the situation with Bre because she messed up the pigeon challenge and needs to have a good photo shoot. Nik and Bre kind of play around in a distracting manner on the sidelines, and then Nik says shhh, because they're supposed to be watching Nicole. Jay says that Nicole did a much better job than she's done in past weeks, and she didn't let the whole "kerfluffle" with Bre affect her photo shoot. Just when you think he's the butch Jay, he busts out a "kerfluffle." Barry tells Nicole she was excellent.
Bre gets slathered with Olay Quench, and it instantly hisses, sizzles, and splatters, because that's what happens when your veins are filled with devil juice. Barry tells her that she needs to have the poise of confidence. She smirks like Mona Lisa. Bre interviews that when you have work, a whole bunch of other things can be going on in your life, and that you've got to let it go.
It's the end of the day, and Nicole says that she decided to confront Bre because they're both done with their photo shoots. She goes to do it, and who is right in the middle of things but Kim. How convenient. Nicole tells Bre that she'd like to talk about things, and Bre says that she doesn't want to talk right now. Nicole says that if Bre did take her Red Bulls, she'd appreciate it if Bre would replace or pay for them. Bre says that she's not replacing anything. She really does seem kind of crazy. Nicole adds that if Bre thinks Nicole took any of her stuff, the fact is that Nicole didn't touch anything. Bre says she doesn't believe her. Nicole interviews that she has no idea who took the granola bars Bre speaks of. Nicole gets a little bit heated and says that she's not comfortable with Bre stealing her things. Bre then says, "Stealing is taking it...you don't know who took it, and you'll never see it again," as we see footage of Bre pouring the Red Bull down the sink. Bre then says, "I didn't steal it, you know where it is." She's really such a bitch. Nicole interviews, "Like, there's two empty cans in the bathroom, are you kidding me?" Bre, in a voice totally devoid of emotion, asks Nicole what she wants her to do. Nicole says that she wants Bre to replace or pay for the Red Bulls. Dead Voice Bre says she won't, and asks what they do now. Nicole says that she doesn't get why Bre wouldn't do that, and she emotionally tells Bre that she's kind of a mean person. She kind of is. Nicole says that what Bre's doing is wrong and whack, because Nicole never touched any of her things. Bre says again that she's not replacing it, and Nicole says that at least now she knows what kind of a person Bre is. I am so sick of these dumb-asses. Bre takes a drink of water. Nicole interviews that Bre's the spawn of the devil and calls her a freak. Bre says in the shakily evil voice of the guilty, "I don't like Nicole. I don't believe her story. If I have to hear one more word about that Red Bull, she'll be wearing it tonight." Miss Itty writes, "Pore Nicole...OR SHOULD I SAY NIC-SHOVE-IT- IN-YOUR-PIE-HOLE. U R pretty like the nice pretty cat butt. Mmm, cat butt. =) Also, note to BrE -- OR SHOULD I SAY......BRE... -- I 8 your gran-WHORE-la bar. It made me throw upp and I pawed it around and then it looked like yuor nasty face. JMO YMMV. Kimmee, call me, U can date my mom! ROFLMAO!!!" Commercials.
Kim is up for evaluation. Her stoic pose was pretty good, as is her Birth of Venus shot. Miss J. notes that the face is sad, and Barry says that's what he was going for. He told her to be dreamy and think about her mother or her boyfriend. That, of course, gets a laugh from everybody, and Barry has no idea why. Nigel notes that he likes how Kim wore the same jewelry from her shoot. Tyra asks if she stole it, and Kim says that she actually bought it because she loves it so much. Tyra says that models usually steal stuff, and that gets a big laugh all around and a mention of energy drinks from Miss J., who can't let the obvious stone remain unturned. As the judges continue to talk to Kim about her catcher's mitt hands, In the background, Bre mumbles, "I just wanna go," and begins to tear up. Oh, can it, Sister Sledge.
is Jayla, who did the worst in stoic posing. However, the judges love her Whister's Mother photo, and with good reason. It kills me to admit it, but it's great. Somehow, that just makes me hate her all the more. Tyra reports that Jay said that Jayla did a great job on set, but gave him attitude when he asked her to practice. She seems stunned. Twiggy says there's an old saying that you win more with honey than you do with vinegar. And actually, I believe the saying is, "You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar, sweetheart," and for proper impact it must be said by a crusty old cab driver who regales you with stories about how he convinced Linda Blair to leave her abusive husband and shows you the glossy autographed 8x10 photo to prove it as he drives you from the airport back to your dorm after winter break. Yes, that actually happened, and the moral of every story is, "You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar, sweetheart." Methinks The Twig has spent some quality time being chauffeured around Duchess County by one Nick the cab driver. Anyway, Tyra tells the girls that they are always being watched on photo shoots, so they need to behave themselves. More tears from Bre. The judges dismiss the girls.
Nicole interviews that, when they left Panel, Bre was angry and out of control and took it out on Kim. We see Bre telling Kim that she couldn't tell the truth to save her fucking life, and I don't think she quite got the point of the honey/vinegar story. Kim asks if Bre is kidding. Bre goes over to Nik and points at Kim and tells her to shut up and asks Nik to back her up. Nik remains silent. Kim yells at Bre that her anger is what's getting her into trouble, that she needs to stop, and that she's the one lying. Bre says that, straight up, what she did to Nicole was wrong, but that Kim hit her up immediately at the shoot. Kim says that she didn't want conflict. Well, guess that plan kind of backfired. She reiterates that Bre's anger is getting her into trouble and that she's lying; a tense chord ushers us into commercials.
Meanwhile, Bre was voted Cover Girl of the Week, because America hates Kim, too!
When we return, Bre says the possibility of her going home today is about 96%. She says that Kim won't win the competition because she's an ugly person with an ugly personality. Tough talk from an ugly person with an ugly personality. She is eerily calm. Kim asks why no one else sees Kim's ugly personality, and says that it's not even worth arguing about it because Bre's such a liar. Nonetheless, she continues, and calls Bre a liar again. Bre says that she did something very wrong, and notes that God don't like ugly. Kim interviews that she feels very betrayed by Bre, because they were friends and Kim was loyal to her. She says that she doesn't know Bre anymore. Nicole tells Kim that she loves her personality, which I think is really nice, even though Kim's personality totally does suck a little. Kim says that she feels good about it as Bre rolls over on the couch.
Meanwhile, the judges get down to business. Nigel says that Jayla is definitely a model and takes gorgeous pictures, but that she's fading for him. Miss J. loves her sexy Whistler's Mother and say's she's in. Nik has gotten higher and higher each week, and Nigel says that the silent girl finally came out of her shell. But not her clam shell. Miss J. makes fun of Nicole, but Twiggy says that she thinks Nicole takes a great picture. Tyra says that Nicole was born to be a model. Nigel says, "Model, yes. Spokesperson, I don't know." Twiggy has liked Kim from the beginning because she's so quirky, but Miss J. says that Kim hasn't given him any great photos. Barry says that her face is more suited to outdoor and casual clothing. Ouch. Barry says something very British-sounding about Bre. Tyra thinks that Bre's photo is the prettiest of the whole bunch, which I think is a crock. Note to Tyra: WE HAVE EYES. The judges talk about GranolaGate, which Twiggy says that the whole thing was very distressing. They make it sound like they're going to eliminate Bre, and you know that means they won't. Sigh.
The girls return. Nik, Jayla, and Nicole are in. And now, the showdown we've all been waiting for. The judges love Kim's energy and uniqueness, but say she hasn't consistently lived up to her potential. Bre is standing there because of how she handled herself in front of the panel. While saying she was professional, she was actually anything but. Tyra says that Bre has learned a big lesson about retaliation, and you know how Teacher Tyra loves that kind of crap. Tyra asks Bre if she wants to go home, and Bre says she doesn't. Tyra says, "You're not," and Bre bursts into tears. Kim hugs Nicole and leaves. Kim, classy as always, heads back to the hotel with a cigarette behind her ear. She says she's learned a lot throughout the competition, and has become a really good model. Let's not exaggerate, there, Barney Miller. She says that it's hard to lose to someone who has betrayed her, but that she's going to get past it, and that it will make her stronger. She says that she'll miss certain people -- especially Nicole -- but most of all, she'll miss the modeling. She says she started out with nothing, but came out with great skills as a model. Her portfolio doesn't exactly back her up on this, but she definitely showed some improvement. Kim heads off as we fade to black.
on ANTM: go-sees in London! Bre forgets her portfolio, and a woman calls Jayla's photo awful. And then Jayla and Nik decide that they want to hang out, and leave Nicole and Bre to spend the day together in London. Oh, please, let somebody be maimed by the end of the episode!