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And now it's time for the Cover Girl Beauty Tip of the Week, presented in its entirety. And seriously, I made the mistake of fast-forwarding through these during the first four episodes. If you know what's good for you, start watching them, because they are truly hilarious. And Jay Manuel? Don't try acting, don't try acting, don't try acting, don't try acting. And please end up with nothing to do, and get off of my TV screen.
Horsy Foreign Model: [at wit's end] With the weather getting colder, my skin is getting dryer!
Small Orange Man: [knowingly] Now is the time to give your skin the extra help it needs.
HFM: [matter-of-factly] What can I do?
SOM: [confident, despite being an incompetent boob] Make sure your foundation has moisturizers in it. I like CoverGirl AquaSmooth. It has moisturizers that help your skin from being dry in cold weather.
HFM: [with a thick foreign accent] And on this chapped lips?
SOM: [slyly, breaking into a wide grin] Wetslicks, baby! It feels like a bomb and it shines like a beacon.
HFM: [no, she really says this] And smells like cupcakes!
And...scene. My first album is seriously going to be called Smells Like Cupcakes, featuring the hit song "Feels Like a Bomb and It Shines Like a Beacon." Featuring the catchy chorus, "Feels like a bomb and it shines like a beacon/ My makeup routine, it might need some tweakin'/ Give me the extra moisture my skin is seekin'/ When they see my shiny lips, all the girls be freakin'/ 'Cause I'm looking so good that I'm beyond critiquin'/ So tonight we'll get it on till someone calls the deacon."
Tyra Mail! Tomorrow, you will meet with the judges. Ann interviews that she's nervous, because there are enough people who are doing consistently well that one bad photo might mean elimination for her. Tyra. Prizes. Judges. Tyra calls Janice "the very first supermodel ever to exist on this planet." Janice throws her head down. Empress Minnie is back, and the guest judge is Kate Dillon. She looks so pretty. Tyra says that a top model has the ability to be on point no matter how tired or exhausted she is. Thus, the girls will be judged today on their photo taken after the fourteen-story race, as well as on their Y-J Stinger photo.
Norelle is first. Her workout photo is kind of frightening, but Nol� likes it because she looks like a heroin addict. The judges love her trampoline photo. I think Kelle's workout photos look fine, but the judges groan and Janice says, "I can't even look at it. It's that bad." They hate her trampoline photo, too. Big shocker, I know. Nol� asks what Kelle did before coming on the show, and Kelle says that she owns an art gallery. Janice asks her if she's ever heard of expressionism, because she needs expression in her face. Nicole needs to learn to have model poses ready on call, because her workout photos are bad. Nicole's trampoline shot is fierce. The way she holds the Y-J Stinger can is "fashion." In the workout photo, Toccara has intensity even without the aid of hair and makeup. Her Y-J Stinger photo is not so well received. Kate says that Toccara, like many plus-sized models, has a real freedom with her body, which shines through in the photos.