Previously on Ally McBeal: Ling takes delight in angering Whipper. Fish leaves Ling on Thanksgiving. Billy's still walking around with that damn "New Man" song playing. Georgia is at her wit's end.
We open with that infernal "New Man" song as we see various phallic buildings before settling on Cage, Billy and Whipper in an elevator. Oh, that's not Whipper. It's Farrah Fawcett. My bad. Cage is having a bit of a panic attack because there are going to be cameras outside the elevator. Billy is discussing an actual case. I guess the firm is starting to run out of money or something, because they are picking up another sexual harassment case, this time for The Original Whipper. She doesn't know why people are so interested in her. Billy says it's because she's beautiful. The Original Whipper is named Robin. Billy is trying to convince her to settle, but she wants to see the case through. The elevator doors open and the media starts hounding them. Billy is giving them the strong arm, but as they start asking Cage questions he starts Porky Pigging out. They ask if he's making some sort of "pig" statement about chauvinism. More pig noises. They ask what Robin Jones has to do with all of the pig noises. John keeps pigging and then says, "She's Lady Liberty," which I don't understand, but perhaps is an old Ally joke. It doesn't matter because I have to hit the fast-forward button quickly so I can avoid the strained strains of Vonda.
Well, they've gone and spent even more money on David Arquette to make some sort of Matrix-like commercial that showcases annoyance in slow-motion.
Jerry Maguire is on instead of Get Real this week. I guess they really wanted someone to show them the money. Move over, Wasteland; I think you've got some company coming in for Christmas.
Strummy-strummy music stops on Fish watching Cage stuttering Porky-style on the news. He rewinds and watches, makes some joke about having to work with this man until all of the women in the firm beg him to stop making fun of him. Of course Cage is standing at the door and hears Richard making all these jokes. As he walks off Nelle gives him a look that says, "I should probably talk to him...nah. My huge polka-dot lapel might make him think I'm Petunia Pig." Ling and Richard exchange unpleasantries as Ally tries to make Richard feel bad, but who listens to Ally, really? Georgia has her jaw set in her trademarked Outraged Face. Ling isn't done with the unpleasantries, though, and declares that the office needs more men. She'd like someone who can give her satisfaction without the need for chemicals. Georgia makes a face like she swallowed a golf ball. Richard tells Ling that if she really wants to embarrass him she should just be seen in public with him. "All right, grow up!" Georgia (Pot) yells out to Ling and Richard (Kettles). "You just have a thing for grown-ups, don't you?" Nelle echoes my sentiments and Ally steps all over the laugh line by shouting, "Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!" Remember, this show isn't called Ally McEveryoneElse. Elaine gets to make her Three Second Scene by saying she has some ideas for the Christmas party and then everyone tells her she has to get out. I know what Elaine wants for Christmas. A new contract.
You know, these court scenes really don't seem necessary anymore, but this one's got Farrah in it and she's usually good for a laugh. She's on the stand talking about how she went from an assistant editor to the editor-in-chief when the head guy passed away. Right after that they started getting the "Blue Flu" with everyone calling in sick. They had called in so much that they missed their May publication deadline and shortly thereafter she was fired. We cut quickly to the cross-examination, done by Bulldog from Frasier. Uh, oh, it's dueling Funny Little Men. They keep calling her Mrs. Jones, and I keep humming "Me and Mrs. Jones." Bulldog asks why this is a sexual harassment case. She explains that they would pass out pamphlets calling her The Nymph and say they didn't want to work for a "sex siren." Poor baby. "That's sexual harrassment," Farrah squints. John keeps wiping his face with his hands as Billy nods his blonde bulb. Bulldog asks how the editor-in-chief died. Farrah says he had a heart attack. Bulldog gets her to admit that she was with him when he had this heart attack. John starts objecting, saying that there's no need to reiterate the relationship she had with the editor-in-chief because they've already noted that they had an intimate relationship. There's no need to say it again because they've already "fornicated it on the record." Billy looks at John with outrage as I hear David E. Kelley giggling in the background. David then takes out my high school yearbook and signs it, "To the girl with the biggest boobs. Hope to see the three of you again someday." Then he puts his hand to his mouth and makes a big farting noise and goes back behind the camera to eat paste. John Porkies a bit and then says "stipulated." I wonder if they make him do that impersonation because of his movie...Mrs. Jones admits that they were making love when he had the heart attack and that he was eighty-six. Bulldog asks what her position was when he was alive. Bulldog raises his hand and corrects himself, "Job title." When he gets her to admit that she went right from assistant to an editor to Editor-in-Chief without anything in-between he says, "Wow. That's quite a leap." The "Gold Digger" oboe begins its sad, sad song as Billy and John look down as if they didn't think of that line of defense before.
Ling is mad that Richard left her on Thanksgiving. He explains that Whipper was upset. Ling says she knows that she'll never compete with Whipper's Wattle because "she has creases and crevices and folds [she'll] never know in [her] lifetime." Richard says that Whipper also cares about him. Ling says she does too, "doesn't it show?" Richard drops his face into his hands to talk to her very carefully. He says that they have a good time together and laugh and stuff, but they never really talk about anything. Ling points out that his house is wired to prevent any serious discussions. He says that they know they aren't getting serious and they may be smarter than the people "out there" hurting themselves by looking for someone special, but maybe they are missing out on something by not being with someone who makes them feel special. Richard sticks his tongue out a lot to show he's really thinking. "So we're officially broken up," Ling asks as she cues the "Break-Up" piano piece. "Yes," Richard says. My phone rings, and it's Gwen. "He's mine, dammit." "He's gay!" I yell into the phone. A news flash appears at the bottom of the screen notifying women everywhere that Gwen already "has dibs." The end of the news flash reads, "Early bird gets the Fish, bitches! Ha, ha! Love, Gwen." Ling and Richard feel relieved that it's over, and Richard goes to use the facilities. "'Facilities' is code for makin' sweet love to me," I hear over my phone as I hang up on Gwen.
Back to the court case. Right. Law show. Lawyers. Must do occasional court cases. Damn, how can we say "penis" in a court room? Bulldog asks Mrs. Jones why she didn't fire everyone who was skipping work. She said she wouldn't have had enough people to work if she had done that. He says that everyone thinks that she slept her way to the top and that's why the Boston office doesn't want to work for her anymore. She says that's an accurate assessment of what they think, but it's not the truth. I wondered why that line was in there until I wrote it down just now. "Assessment." Good one, Dave. Hey, I've got another idea. Maybe Richard could buy Ling some pussywillows to make it up to her. Or maybe someone could suggest going to eat at Cock of the Walk. Coxcomb? Just helping out. Bulldog asks Mrs. Jones why she did a semi-nude layout right after she got the job. She explains that she was promoting her own celebrity and then promoting the magazine by showing her assets in a centerfold. Even the judge looks at her like, "Girl, please." Bulldog recaps the past ten minutes until John objects for badgering and then his shoes start exploding. Bulldog says he's famous for pulling stunts and John's shoes keep exploding until Billy is yelling at him in a private room. Exploding shoes? When did John turn into Data from The Goonies? Billy apologizes to Mrs. Jones, and she says that she thinks it was effective because it broke up the momentum. Billy tells Mrs. Jones again that he thinks she should settle because they probably won't win this case. She says that the money isn't enough to settle. He says he finds it difficult to believe she was in love with an eighty-six-year-old man. Farrah is delivering her lines like she's getting them fed through an ear piece. "Hey, Billy, you said you'd take my case," she says, which sounds like a beginning of a Clairol commercial, but she's really just asking him if he's still on her side. Even though he doesn't agree with her, he's going to represent her. She says she's not the "settling type" and she didn't think he was either. The oboe ushers Mrs. Jones out of the room as Billy looks to the ceiling like, "Why, God? Why are women so continually stupid? Why can't a woman be more like a man?" Before Professor Higgins gets his answer we fade to black.
It's the holidays, so that means I'm going to be subjected to more of those inane Old Navy commercials with the Sister, Sister and Dumb and Dumber twins. I'll give you a book, you blonde kumquats.
John is watching himself Porky out on every channel. Nelle begs him to turn if off. He says that they have no right to treat him that way, and he keeps stuttering until Nelle tells him to take deep breaths. We follow the deep breathing into the courtroom where the Head Guy is explaining why he had to fire Mrs. Jones because people didn't like working with her. Billy asks if she got a fair shot at proving herself and he says she probably didn't, since she only worked for one issue. Billy asks if circulation was up or down in that issue. It was up. (I get it, David. Up. Good subtle penis joke.)
Bulldog asks if circulation was up due to the semi-nude spread. Head Honcho says probably. Bulldog asks if he was surprised to find out that Mrs. Jones was picked to be the successor to the last publisher. "Nothing really surprises me," Head Honcho deadpans. He asks if he was surprised to find out that Mrs. Jones was having an affair with him. John stands up and starts shouting and raving about how the witness already answered that nothing really surprised him so this line of questioning is pointless. "Asked and answered. Asked and answered. Asked and answered. Asked and answered. Asked and answered...Are you going to keep grilling him until you get the answer that you like?" The judge tells Cage to calm down and Cage retorts that he can't blow his top, he can't blow his shoes, can he even blow his nose anymore? He brags that he can make it whistle and then does so. He's more like Bugs Bunny now than Porky Pig. Billy is livid. In the secret side room he tells John that he's off the case and needs to go home. John says that Billy can't take him off the case because he's an associate and then he starts stuttering some more. Billy says he doesn't know what's going on, and John tells him to just leave it at that. Mrs. Jones promptly fires John. He packs his things and leaves. More oboe as Billy stares at Mrs. Jones without emotion.
In the Unisex, Georgia is washing her hands as Ling enters from a stall wearing what I can only describe as a bulletproof vest. Ling starts asking Georgia about Ally's father. Georgia doesn't want to talk about it. Ling says she was just looking for some companionship since she broke up with Richard and she's sorry she turned to her. Georgia offers to help. Ling says that Ally's dad was pretty cute, so if Georgia's done with him...Ling immediately goes into a scream that I thought was Ally until I saw Ally looking at her. Ling promises to wait until he's finished with Ally's mother. Ally wears a huge green shawl that says, "After naptime can I get extra cookies?" She tells Ling that her parents are working it out. Georgia and Ally exchange cat talk for a few seconds as Georgia leaves. Richard walks up to Ally as she tries to say she's sorry to hear about his break-up. She pretends to forget Ling's name, as if she hasn't been thinking about cunni-Ling-us for three weeks. Richard gives the "for the best" blah-blahs, and then tries to finger Ally's wattle. You'll need a microscope to find flesh on that girl, Fish boy. Georgia leans in to tell Richard that she quits. He asks if they can talk about it or if she'll just sleep on it for one night. She agrees to wait one evening. Elaine walks out of the stall as Georgia walks out of the Unisex and Richard tells Elaine to have Georgia's locks changed tonight so she can't steal any files. Elaine asks when she can tell everyone and Fish smacks her on the rear end and says she can tell everyone when he says she can. Elaine looks at the camera and shouts, "I got an extra minute of screen time if I let him smack my ass. I think it's worth it, don't you?" Then she shimmies off. Ally pinches Richard somewhere near his nipple as she leaves.
Nelle isn't interested in John's weirdness. She wants to know what his problem is but she doesn't really want to know because she keeps whining and "Oh, come on!"-ing. John is upset that everyone thinks he's a funny little man. "People don't think that," Nelle says, which of course cues Ling to walk in and ask her to come talk to her when she's done talking with the funny little man. Not since Three's Company have we seen such flawless executions of comedic timing. John says he can tolerate being ridiculed anywhere but in the courtroom. That's where people fear him. That's his one haven. He doesn't like getting laughed at. Nose whistle.
Bulldog is still talking in that courtroom about how people organized the Blue Flu. Billy interrupts to say he doesn't want to hear a speech from the witness. The witness does some sort of "Nanny-nanny-boo-boo" retort. He admits to Billy that he called Mrs. Jones a nymph and a slut and that they were trying to save the pedigree of the magazine. They called in sick knowing that she had the right to fire them. Billy and Mrs. Jones fast-forward to the secret side room where he tells her that he got them up to a hundred. She says that she doesn't want to settle. Billy tells her that the last point was a good one. Sexual harassment cases are about power struggles and in this case she had the power to fire the ones who were calling in sick and she didn't, so there isn't a problem of power here. "Don't talk to me like I'm a child," Mrs. Jones says, which makes me giggle, because I think everyone talks to Farrah like she's a child. She goes on to say they admitted calling her a whore on record. Billy says they also have her stating that she had sex with an eighty-six-year-old man, and what the hell does that say? Mrs. Jones asks for Billy's opinion. Here it is. "Snort! Snort! Snort! Grunt! Crotch scratch! Make me dinner, woman!" When you read the closed captioning, however, it says something about how women are abusing the sexual harassment laws so they can do whatever they want. They can sleep with rich old men to get money and power and blah, blah, blah, bleachcakes. "You're a male chauvanist pig!" Mrs. Jones says. "Card-carrying and proud of it," Billy says as if he was calling himself rubber and her glue. He wants her to settle. God, his tie is ugly. It's shimmering in my television screen. Mrs. Jones asks if he's going to get behind her in this case. "As opposed to being on top of you?" Cue the slap. In my world this is followed by a kick to the groin and a brand new lawsuit, but David's running things around here, so you know...well, I don't want to ruin anything. Mrs. Jones says she doesn't owe him an explanation about why she was seeing the old man, but she does anyway of course, and tells him that she loved the old coot. She wants to know if Billy is capable of defending this case. He says that the jury won't see anything but total commitment. Mrs. Jones says at least one of them is able to fake it for money. She calls him a pig again (Can we come up with a new word, David? How about "idiot," "waste of matter," "moron," "asshole?" "bastard?"). She leaves as Billy gives a self-satisfied smirk as if he just smelled one of his own farts as we fade to black.
A living robot? Is Robin Williams kidding? Two words, Rob: Toys. Jumanji. Two more: Stop it.
There's a very long trailer for Get Real letting you know what happened in the past eight episodes in case you haven't been watching. Not that you'll watch, but just so you know what you missed.
Billy's new assistant is giving him a back rub as Mrs. Jones walks in. They exchange some high-school snarkiness at each other as New Assistant gives the "Oh, boy, every one sure hates my new boss" look. Meanwhile, John is slowly listening to his Porky Pig stutter on some small machine. Richard walks in to tell him that he had a dream that John walked into a post office and opened fire with his shoe. John's machine says "AV Watch," but I still don't know what it is. Richard apologizes for hurting John's feelings. He says that he had a bad week. Ling left him. Georgia quit and his senior partner, who is also his best friend, may be cracking up. He wants to know what's going on. John puts his machine to the side to begin the Long Monologue written for Anthony Michael Hall in The Breakfast Club II: Detention Boogaloo. He always thought he'd grow up and show them all that he's not a little freak but a successful man. Richard says that John's very successful and that he's got a gorgeous girlfriend and really doesn't have anything to complain about. John says that nothing has changed. Richard makes a few faces as John says that if he walked into a high school reunion with Nelle they'd assume she was paid for. "We are what we are," John says. Richard dismisses it. John asks if Richard loved Ling. John answers a "No" for him. He says that Ling was a lot of fun and the sex was great and that would be enough if that were a stage he was going through, but it wasn't. John goes from Porky Pig to Popeye the Sailor to say, "I yam what I yam what I yam," He knows who he is and Richard knows who he is and that's the way things are. Richard tells John that if he's truly unhappy with his life then it's time for him to have children. "Don't you feel you lead a rather empty life?" John asks him. Richard smirks and says that everyone thinks they'll wake up one day and ask, "How did I get here?" He says there's no rule that says you have to wake up. Well, there's one rule. If you're writing a recap for Mighty Big TV and you doze off because Richard loves to whisper when he talks to John, then you do have to wake up for the scene and continue typing.
I wake up just in time to see Billy giving the closing statements in the Most Boring Court Case. Billy says that he understands why everyone protested to get her fired. He also says that it is sexual harassment. Even beautiful women should be protected by sexual harassment laws. Celebrities can be smart. Pretty girls can be smart. Younger women can fall in love with older men. Bulldog is staring at Billy thinking, "That's kind of how I want my hair." Billy makes his entire case on, "Don't hate her because she's beautiful." Right. Has anyone seen Kelly LeBrock lately? Didn't think so. Bulldog steps up to explain that the boss shouldn't be allowed to sue the employees for talking about them. He invites everyone to stand up and vomit. He says these laws were designed to keep secretaries from being groped by their bosses and not for women to keep people from talking bad about them behind their backs. "Enough is enough!" Bulldog shouts, and I want him to raise his fists in the air and shout, "Fair is fair!" but he doesn't.
Georgia finds her office door locked and starts locking her own jaw as Richard tells her it's nothing personal. He says he hired her because he knew she was good and he'd expect her to try and take files. It's a compliment. Ling says that she can't believe that Georgia's going to quit. She looks like she might cry for a second but then asks Richard if she can have her office. Richard is too busy chiseling Georgia's name off the door. Georgia huffs that she doesn't know why Ling and Richard broke up since they're perfect for each other. Richard tells her to hold on. He says that if things don't work out at Renee's firm, and she thinks she can just come crawling back and work for him...then she's right. They'd take her back in a second. This starts Georgia's waterworks, and she flounces off wailing. "Nice, Richard, you made her cry," Ling says. Ally is putting on lipstick in the Unisex as Georgia comes in to compose herself. I can only assume that Georgia continues crying because she sees Ally in some sort of tiny pajama top. Poor girl. Her hallucinations are getting so bad she's forgetting to dress herself in the morning. Georgia says she likes it here and Ally tells her not to quit. "I have to," Georgia says, "I can't work with that pig-ass bastard." "Billy?" Ally actually asks, as if maybe Georgia was referring to Ally herself. Billy's new assistant walks in and Georgia yells at her to leave. New assistant says she has to pee. "Hold it!" Georgia screams, and I worry about her skin cracking. Ally continues putting on lipstick as she tells Georgia that maybe she shouldn't quit her job to save her marriage. Georgia says maybe she should just leave him. Ally starts a barrage of "No's" that don't sound as funny as when Billy Crystal does them. "This is a bump," she explains, and says that every marriage has bumps. Georgia asks if she can ask Ally a question. Ally fellates her lipstick and says she can. Georgia asks if she could move ahead on Ally's father. Ally says no way and that her dad is just another "pig-ass bastard" that Georgia is to stay away from. Hey, Dave. Thanks for taking my suggestions. You can drop the "pig" part, though. I'd have much more fun calling Billy an "ass bastard." Ally says that her parents are happily married and that he only kissed Georgia because it was anonymous and he certainly wouldn't have kissed her if he got to know her. Georgia looks offended as Ally says that didn't come out right. She says that people change and asks John for confirmation when he walks in. He screams that no, people don't change, and that "people are what they are. They don't change. That's a big conspiracy perpetrated by the fashion designers to sell more clothes." He bangs his head against the stall door as the stutter starts and says that people don't change -- only clothes. He storms back out of the stall muttering about people leaving remnants in his bowl. Ally and the rest of the viewing audience look disgusted.
Yeah! The decision in the case! Yeah! The end of the courtroom plot. I do the happy dance as the head juror guy keeps reading out all of the charges in the case until the judge interrupts and tells him to just say the verdict. Thank you. They find in favor of the defendant. Bulldog is happy. Farrah shows us her hair is nicer than Whipper's. Where is Whipper, anyway? I assume she's in the wings, writing down ideas for her plastic surgeon. Billy says that he's sorry Mrs. Jones didn't win, but he admires her for sticking to her "buns." Duh. "Guns," he says with a smirk, and of course, Mrs. Jones just laughs, and laughs, because aren't pigs just so cute? There's no case anymore, and she doesn't have a job and just lost a buttload of money in this case but "Tra-la-la, Blonde Boy noticed my ass." "Pig talk," she coos at him. She says she almost believed his closing argument. He says he meant it and that he's sorry he underestimated her. She thanks him and then GIVES HIM A KISS on the cheek. Okay, let me get this straight. He pigs out to her. She hates him. He gives a speech that she may be pretty but that doesn't mean she might not be smart and suddenly she's all goopy on him? What. Ever. Mrs. Jones turns around to the (now suddenly empty) courtroom to give Billy one last lingering look as the oboe plays its melancholy song. She gives this head-back, teeth smile that looks just like Joey Lauren Adams and walks out. Billy smiles at the closing door thinking, "I'm gonna nail that woman."
Renee is telling Georgia that the pay is pretty lousy as some boy toy brings her some coffee. They are only filming Renee from the bust line up to avoid more complaints on our forum. Georgia says she's sure she wants to join the firm. Ling walks up to Richard and asks if she should quit too. She says it might be awkward. Richard asks why it would be and then Ling says that she's thinking about trying to be nice. "I'm bored with my character," Ling says more as an aside to us, and I'm thinking that either she was pleading with us, or David E. Kelley temporarily had no inner monologue. Richard has the titular line as he asks why everyone is changing. He recaps everyone's current character twists and says that a wise man said to him just yesterday that people don't change. "What wise man said that?" Ling asks. Richard hits "play" on his remote to show John's famous stuttering scene (by the way, I've seen that now about fifteen times. Enough.) "He's a sage," Richard explains to Ling. "He's also here again." Jack Tripper, I mean, John Ritter, I mean, John Cage is standing in the doorway. He walks off as Richard goes to console him. Ling stops him to ask if they'll be okay working together. Richard says that it hurts, but what can they do. Ling asks if maybe they should give it another try. Richard says he was thinking about that, but he doesn't know if that's a good idea. He thinks he'd like to be in love someday. He offers that he and Ling could just date. Ling asks if Whipper is the right one. He says he doesn't know. She says he should find out as she cues the piano again. She offers to let him say goodbye to her kneepit and she could say goodbye to his finger. They make plans for later. Ew. Ew. Ew.
John is beating the tar out of the Unisex stall doors with these giant boxing gloves. Giant. I mean, huge. The size of his torso. Ally stops him wearing her pajama top and some long silk skirt, confirming my earlier thoughts of her not being able to dress herself anymore. She misses her daddy, you see. Ooh! He almost hits her right in the head. Damn. She ducked. He tells her to get out of his way and she tells him "no" with this baby voice and declares that she's taking him back to her office (Male Fantasy Alert). She takes John by the ear and yanks him into her office, further humiliating him and not being a very good friend at all, but it doesn't matter because Ally thinks she's doing the right thing. Oh, and another quick shot of Elaine. Ally wants to know what's going on with John. She's all finger-pointing and hair-flipping and lip-curling. There's supposed to be this serious scene here with John talking about high school and being a freak and all, but those gloves keep it from actually being poignant or touching. He knocks a few things off Ally's desk for good measure. He liked being a "litigant savant." He says that Ally brought him out and made him think he was mainstream, but he wasn't. He's fascinated with frogs, drafts his closing arguments in bare feet, remnants in toilet bowls bother him and he can only make love to a woman if he thinks he's Barry White. Ally gives some sort of Hallmark crap about how ordinary is boring that she got him to embrace how wonderful he is because of his quirks. She's always considered him a soulmate because they are "fellow weirdos." Oh, Ally. Not everyone wants to be you. In fact, no one wants to be you. No one. You are scary.
Mrs. Jones walks in and bumps into Richard who gives her a quick wattle wiggle. She walks into Billy's office to give him a gift. Oh, barf, it's a ceramic pig. "A little, sweet, chauvinist pig." "Baby, how come you don't buy me things like that?" my boyfriend asks. "Shut up and keep cleaning!" I yell back. Mrs. Jones asks if Billy is happily married. He says, "Pretty much." She starts to leave and they start gooing at each other and then they kiss. Jesus, I can't believe I'm watching this. Billy tells her it's okay-okay and they start really kissing as (I totally called this) "Me and Mrs. Jones" starts playing. They're kissing while Ling and Richard are playing with each other's creases. Ally and John are talking in a restaurant. Billy has his hand on Mrs. Jones' ass, and I know that Gil Bellows went home and called all of his frat buddies from college to brag that he totally got to feel up Farrah's butt. Mrs. Jones starts pulling off Billy's tie and he starts to protest, but of course he doth not protest too much and she pulls him on top of her. What the hell is going on, people? MALE FANTASY! MALE FANTASY! Georgia walks in so that the record needle can scratch and Billy introduces Mrs. Jones and Georgia and says they were just kissing. "I thought you quit," Billy says to Georgia. "I quit my job. And now I quit you." She drops her (quite nice) ring onto Billy's desk and walks off as it fades to black. "You'd never do that to me, would you?" my boyfriend asks. "Just keep washing those dishes, baby, and you'll be fine," I warn him. He may have dishpan hands, but his hair will never be bleached blonde.
So, what did David E. Kelley teach us today? Women will change their lives for men. They don't care when the weak men are feeling down (except if they themselves need chemical treatment) and if one of them is particularly insulting and sassy they will do whatever it takes to start mugging down. Especially if he's married. Georgia is so on her way to Ally's dad's bar, I can almost hear the tires screeching.