Previously on Alias: Sydney killed SydAnna with a bullet through her forehead, and she and Vaughn were finally united. Unfortunately, Sydney had to leave right away to take SydAnna's place at Prophet Five, so no nookie. Sorry about that. Also, there seems to be a bunker hidden away beneath a German park that houses a crapload of Prophet Five materials. Also also, Sark came back. For thirty seconds. And it was the best thirty seconds of my life.
We begin tonight's episode at the Apple Store, where Jack is debriefing Rachel on Sydney's status inside Prophet Five. They can't tell the CIA what Syd's up to because, duh, there are moles for P5 inside the CIA. Dix walks in and Jack repeats Syd's status to him. Dix is all, wait a minute -- Syd's presenting herself as Anna? Um, that's kind of...stupid? Jack just snits that it wasn't his call to make because he wasn't consulted. They head to the Conference Room of Endless Expositions, where Marshall is in the process of trying to locate the tracker Syd placed on the Élodie chip. Jack says that they can only assume that P5 had plans for Anna to do something that only Sydney could do; if they can find out what that is, they might have a chance at figuring out P5's endgame.
Marshall patches Vaughn through on the line, and Jack tells Dixon he's in Hamburg. He tasks Dixon with traveling to Hamburg to meet up with Vaughn in order to transmit the P5 data from the storeroom. Vaughn asks Marshall how he's coming with Syd's coordinates, and he says it'll just take a sec. "You know, I cried at your funeral," says Marshall. "Yeah, uh, sorry about that," says Vaughn. "No, no!" says Marshall. "Thank you. I need a good cry now and again." Please, Marshall. You probably cry ALL THE TIME. Baby Mitchell probably looks at you and goes, "Damn! Who's the baby here?!" When Marshall says the crying line, by the way, Jack shoots him a look that only lasts a second, but speaks volumes. Heh. They are SO gonna miss each other!
"Okay, tracker's hot!" says Marshall. He locates Syd on Tiergartenstrasse and we switch to the black P5 car, already in progress. Peyton's on the phone, telling someone that she has the chip in hand and that they're on their way. Syd watches her carefully. They engage in a little post-assignment conversation and clink champagne glasses on a job well done. When Peyton asks if SydAnna's getting modest all of a sudden, Sydney quips, "It's this body. I have an uncontrollable urge to act like a Girl Scout all the time." Heh. "Well, let's get you back to Zurich before you start trying to sell me cookies." Hee.
Sydney says that she's sure their superiors are eager to get their hands on the chip and Peyton just says, "This? This is an inconvenience. Nothing more." Then she drops the chip into her champagne glass, not only ruining the chip and the tracker, but also a PERFECTLY GOOD glass of champagne. Also? They had to send Anna on a trip to Nepalhutan or Bhutanepal or whatever, just to get the damn chip because it was so important but now it's an INCONVENIENCE? Man. The writers are totally getting stoned in the writers room now, aren't they? "Dude. Wasn't it Bhutan last week?" "Dunno, dude. Pass the bong." "Shouldn't the chip be...important?" "Homie? I stopped caring about what was going on shortly after that one car slammed into that other car. Where's the snacks?"
Back at the Apple Store, Syd's signal is lost and everyone scrambles. Vaughn gets all climpy with Marshall, ordering him to patch into the traffic cameras so they can locate Syd. He races to his car to chase after the mother of his baby. Marshall patches into the cameras and locates Syd en route to the airport. Vaughn chases. He comes upon an intersection that's at a red light and demands that Marshall get him a green light, like, NOW. Marshall frantically tries to deliver and seconds before Vaughn causes a traffic accident, he gets it for him, allowing Vaughn to sail through. At the airport, Syd and Peyton are making their way to security. Vaughn shows up a short distance behind them. Peyton goes through as Syd turns around and sees Vaughn. While Peyton's getting the wand, Vaughn slips behind Sydney and passes her his phone, which obviously has a tracker as well. Peyton turns and Vaughn's disappeared. Syd drops the cell into a bucket and heads through security. Whew.
Zurich. Sloane's meeting with one of the more square-jawed members of the P5 crew. Sloane has finished the translation of Page 47, which he already knew about, like, ages ago. "The circle will be complete when the Chosen One finds the rose in San Cielo," says Sloane, revealing the hidden message. Well, that's...not revealing at all and totally in keeping with the rest of the stupid-ass Rambaldi crap we've had to swallow for the BETTER PART OF FIVE YEARS. Spongehead Squarejaw congratulates Sloane on a job well done and says that they're closer than they've ever been to comprehending Rambaldi's Greatest Mystery™. I certainly hope that Rambaldi's Greatest Mystery™ comes with a corsage and a set of Ginsu knives because otherwise? I'm going to feel really gypped.
Spongehead Squarejaw asks if Sloane understands the message and he says he gets it well enough to proceed. However, since Rambaldi was one of those mystics who took into account every last variable, the fact that Anna is posing as Syd concerns him. What if she can't complete the task because she's not really Sydney? Well, I guess we'll never know because she actually IS Sydney, so this entire line of questioning is really moot, no? Syd and Peyton show up and Sydney sees Sloane for the first time since he defected from APO. "Sloane's here," Sydney rather stupidly says. Peyton's like, uh, DUH. You already met with him. What, were you expecting a big purple dinosaur? "You didn't think we'd dispose of him this soon, did you?" snarks Peyton.
Sloane walks over and congratulates Anna on the unnecessary chip retrieval. Way to travel great distances to get your hands on something we don't care about, Anna! Great job! He asks if she encountered any problems, and she says just one. "But I've dealt with her once and for all," she says with a smile. "We should celebrate, Arvin. Sydney Bristow is dead." Sloane immediately knows this isn't true because he didn't feel a wrenching tear in the deepest part of his soul as he's supposed to whenever anything happens to Sydney. Or, you know, he totally buys that Sydney is Anna and we go to the credits. For the -to-last time!
And now is the time on Alias when we go, "Who needs chips or useless prophecies when we can DANCE DANCE DANCE?!" Oh, and "DRINK DRINK DRINK!"
After the break, Sydney's checking out the blood-spattered Page 47. In case we have never watched this show and are just checking it out now, for the very first time, in its -to-last episode, Sloane repeats the fact that Rambaldi referred to Sydney as "The Chosen One" and says that she would be responsible for bringing forth his final works. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've heard that one before. A big machine that spits out the word, "Peace"? Been there, done that, bought the ridiculously over-priced postcard, thanks. Sydney makes another minor mistake when she questions Sloane about the whole "guy who lived 500 years ago having intentions for Sydney Bristow" concept. "Excuse me," says Sloane, moving closer, "I may be mistaken, but I had always believed you to be a follower of Rambaldi's works."
Sydney quickly covers by saying that she was only ever guided by her checkbook and that she would never allow herself to be guided by faith. She asks what Rambaldi wants her to do, and Sloane tells her she's to retrieve an artifact from San Cielo, a monastery outside of Rome. She snarkily asks if she gets to wear a habit and he just snaps that he's told her all she needs to know for now. They leave within the hour. "Does this mean you're sending me to my room?" she snits. Peyton steps up and says there's a change of clothes for her upstairs and that it's the second door on the left, even though, if Anna had been staying there all this time, she'd probably, I don't know, KNOW WHERE SHE WAS SLEEPING.
Apple Store. Getty and Rachel are kibitzing over his laptop when Marshall walks up and asks if he can see Rachel alone about some varied geekery. Once they're out of earshot, Marshall tells Rachel the real reason he wants to see her: a message came through APO that morning that was intended for Allen Korman, the guy Getty met back in that parking garage. Marshall did some digging and discovered that Korman's flying into Los Angeles tonight. Rachel doesn't understand. Getty told her that when he saw Korman with his wife and child, he changed his mind and didn't confront him. Marshall says that Korman doesn't have a wife and child. Getty's been lying to Rachel and Marshall wants to tell Jack about it. Rachel won't let him, saying that she can get to the bottom of it and that Getty is not a bad guy. Because she luuuuuurves him. She asks Marshall to give her twenty-four hours to check into it and prove that Getty luuuuuurves her too or whateverzzzzzzz. Oops. I'm sorry. Nodded off there for a second.
Palazzo de Prophet Five. Syd's running a bug check over her room. She quickly discovers one on a lamp and places it before a radio. She turns the radio on loud and calls Jack. She fills him in on where she is and how she's heading off to San Cielo. "Where are you?" she asks. "Right now?" says Jack as the camera pulls back to reveal him in Sydney's kitchen, standing over Isabelle's baby chair. "Standing in your kitchen, playing with Isabelle." Except he's totally not playing with Isabelle, he's just standing there, looking down at her, while RoboNanny in the background prepares formula or something. Hee. "How is she?" asks Sydney. "Happy," says Jack, obviously surprised at this fact. Isabelle smiles and giggles and Syd hears it. "Dad, did she just--" "Giggle? Yeah. Apparently, I'm funny." Oh ho ho, Jack! You certainly ARE funny. And that little girl has you wrapped around her pinkie finger.
Syd remarks that Isabelle hasn't giggled before and that this is a first for her. A first that she missed. Jack assures her that there will be many firsts. Syd knows this, but she still wonders if she'll be off scaling an eighty-story building when Isabelle takes her first steps. Ah, the perils of a working spy mommy. Jack says that he'll notify Dix and Vaughn about Rome and there's a knock at the door, so Syd has to go. It's Peyton, asking if she's ready to go. They head out.
Bunker of Dead Daddy Research. Vaughn's busy scanning documents when Dixon enters. After a highly emotional exchange of "heys," Dixon says, "You're shorter than I remember." Hee. They both laugh and Dix asks if all this stuff is about Prophet Five and Vaughn says it's all about mysterious deaths and car bombings and anyone who ever died investigating P5. "But they didn't get you," says Dixon. "No," says Vaughn. "But they might have, if it hadn't been for Jack." And here comes the SparkNotes version of "The Day Vaughn Died But Really Didn't."
Apparently, when Vaughn was in the hospital, Jack convinced him that P5 wouldn't rest until they killed him and that he was in no condition to fight back. Dix asks how Jack managed it and Vaughn says, "Sodium morphate. It slowed down my body functions to the point that they mimicked death. Apparently, I spent four hours in a drawer at the morgue, waiting for Jack's contact to meet me to administer the antidote. Then a couple days of traveling before I made it to Nepalhutaniskatmandu. Also, there was something about a bunch of fans being pissed off that I'd been killed, so, like, I guess they just HAD to bring me back, you know?" Dix knows.
"You know, it's funny," says Vaughn. "But it's the first time I felt that Jack accepted me." "Well," says Dix, "unless he manufactured a very elaborate scheme to postpone your wedding to his daughter." Heh. Dix hands Vaughn a picture of Isabelle. "Fortunately, she looks more like her mother," quips Dix. He's on FIRE with the quips tonight! Vaughn says she does and thanks Dixon. Vaughn's cell rings and it's Jack. He's sending a team to box everything up and Dix and Vaughn are heading to Rome to back Sydney up.
Plane of Fake SydAnnas. Sloane walks up and sits down opposite Sydney. He tells her that his contact will meet her on the ground and provide access to San Cielo. Then he asks her how she killed Sydney. Because he just HAS to know every last thing that happens to his surrogate daughter. She asks him why he cares, and he says it's because Sydney was a remarkable agent and he imagines that killing her wasn't terribly easy. "Sydney wasn't a martyr or a legend," says Syd. "She was just a person...who deserved nothing more than to be shot in the back...and so she was. The Chosen One? She died, just as easy as anyone." "I see," says Sloane. He thanks her for the information and says they'll be landing shortly. Before he can tell her that there are exits at either end of the plane, he leaves and parks it in front of Peyton. "I know what you have planned for Anna after this mission is over," he says. "You have reservations?" she asks. "Oh, no," he says. "I want to be the one who kills her." Because NOBODY shoots his pressssscious in the back and lives to tell the tale!
Rome. Sydney, sporting a pretty red-printed dress and pink cardigan, saunters down the street to meet her contact. As she gets closer to the meet location, she sees Vaughn standing at a newsagents. She moves to him and he tells her that she smells nice. Aw. He tells her that they looked into San Cielo and Marshall couldn't find any record of it. Syd says she has a meeting with her contact at an O.T.B. and he's supposed to brief her on the rest. "I saw a picture of Isabelle," says Vaughn. "I don't know how we do this anymore." "We do it the way we've always done it," she says. "It's the only way to keep her safe." Well, you could also get the transport to Mars and keep her safe there. It's just a suggestion. Syd wants to end this and Vaughn agrees. Dixon and he will get her back; if anything happens, they'll pull her out. Syd spies Dix across the way. Ah. Just like old times. Vaughn asks who the contact is and Syd says that Sloane told her she'd know him when she saw him. Vaughn tells her to be careful and she heads off to the O.T.B.
Once inside, Syd looks around for the contact and finally just parks it at the bar with a betting sheet. "I wouldn't do that if I were you," says Sark, moving up to her. "If you want my advice, I'd take Tokyo Rose in the third." Oh, there he is. That nimble little minx. Syd looks utterly disgusted that she has to deal with Sark again, some more. She says that the last time she saw him was in Venice where, as she recalls, he betrayed her to the CIA. "And yet, Anna," he says, "here you are." I honestly can't remember when Anna and Sark worked together and I have NO recollection of Venice, so I guess I have to actually go back and read my own recaps because DAMN we're going far back in history here.
"Looking better than ever," snits Sark. Sydney smacks him across the face. Heh. "That's for the year I spent in a federal holding facility," she says. Then she slams his face down into the bar. Hee! Sydney then apologizes in Italian to the people in the betting place, saying she's all done with the hitting for now. Like true Italians, they just return to their betting sheets and ignore the lover's spat in the corner.
We switch to the Least Interesting Story of the season as Getty is meeting up with Korman somewhere outside of L.A. Getty asks if Korman found The Cardinal and Korman says he wouldn't be here if he hadn't. He gives Getty a slip of paper and gets back into his car as Rachel watches from her Mini Cooper in the distance. Korman leaves and Getty goes to as well, but Rachel gets out of her car and stops him. She gives him until "three" to start talking and he says he will, but not there; someone might be watching. They drive to some bridge somewhere and Getty says that he didn't lie to her, that Korman did kill his wife, but the order came from somebody else. The closest he's come to finding out who the order came from is the name of "The Cardinal."
Rachel points out that Korman and Getty seemed pretty chummy and Getty says that Korman works freelance and that they did a deep cover job together once. Korman doesn't even know his real name. Getty's wife was a schoolteacher, and she wasn't a part of this life, and he needs to know why someone wanted her killed instead of him. Rachel asks what Korman wants in exchange for giving up the info on The Cardinal. Getty says he wants his car; it was seized when Korman turned himself into witness protection. Rachel says that Getty could have told her, and he says he couldn't have because he doesn't trust anyonezzzzzzzz. What? Huh? Oh. Sorry. My keyboard is sooooo comfortable...Rachel, on the verge of tears for some reason, says that if she hacks into the Federal database, they should be able to find Korman's car. And a stupid subplot is born.
Rome. Dix and Vaughn wait on a park bench while Syd talks to Sark. Inside, Syd and Sark partake of some shots until Sark declares that they're on the clock, so they should at least maintain the idea of sobriety. But WHY, Sark? When drunkenness is so integral to WATCHING THIS SHOW. She asks him to fill her in on the plan, and Sark asks what Sloane's told her. She says Sloane's told her precious fucking little, so could they possibly get on with this? Sark says that San Cielo used to be a monastery, but now it's a maximum security prison. According to Sloane, Milo Rambaldi was held there in the days leading up to his execution. "Sloane believes Rambaldi hid 'The Rose' in the northwest isolation wing," says Sark. "The text specifies that only The Chosen One can obtain the item in question. I guess you'll have to do." He picks up his cell and speed dials. In Italian, he tells the person who answers that he needs the police because there's been an explosion at an O.T.B. He hangs up and looks at Syd. "An explosion?" she queries. He pulls a device out of his jacket and sticks it to the underside of the bar and suggests that Sydney take cover. They both dive beneath the bar as the windows explode outward into the street.
Vaughn and Dix see the explosion and move toward the betting place. Inside, Sark fires his gun into the ceiling and tells everyone to chill, they just want the money. He goes to the betting window and gets the woman behind it to give him some cash as Sydney covers the place with her gun. Syd's all, and THIS is your plan for getting us into the prison? Sark's all, uh, YEAH. Follow my lead, baby. He walks out of the betting place and Syd follows behind him. Once outside, Sark immediately raises his hands in the air and declares that they've seen the error of their ways. Well, that was fast. Nothing suspicious about that. They surrender as Dix and Vaughn watch.
Is anyone else as sick of Stephen King's Desperation as I am? No? Moving on.
Syd and Sark are escorted inside the prison walls. As Syd walks through, she notices an older man with sunken cheeks and some hideous dark circles beneath his eyes. I totally thought he was Rambaldi, y'all. At APO, Jack checks with Marshall to see if he's been able to access the prison's internal network. Marshall says he hasn't, but Vaughn and Dixon are moving through the sewers in order to access the prison's junction box and get access to the network. Vaughn and Dix quickly make their way to the junction box and try to splice the line and access the surveillance feed. "Do it quickly," says Jack. "I don't like the idea of Sydney being in a maximum security prison with Sark as her backup." Neither do we, Jack. Neither do we.
Sark gets closed into his cell with a rather portly gentleman in a wife-beater. Fat Man in Little Shirt eyeballs Sark's ass has he passes, as would we all, really. Sark walks right over to a mirror and attempts to remove something from his tooth as Fat Man in Little Shirt suggests in Italian that Sark should become his Personal Bitch in order to make his incarceration a wee bit more pleasurable. Sark gets whatever he was looking for out of his mouth and says in English, "Lucky for you, I won't be here for long. Otherwise, I'd pull out your tongue and choke you with it." Heh. They smile at each other and Sark puts the item back into his mouth and starts coughing. Suddenly, he's gagging and spitting and spasming down on the floor. Fat Man in Little Shirt starts calling for help. "The beautiful man is dying!" he shouts out through the door. Hee. Yes. The beautiful man is indeed dying.
God. Back with the Most Boring Side Plot Ever. Getty and Rachel break into the Amazing Car Lot of Abandoned Witness Protection Automobiles. They creep around, with Rachel bouncing along as if she's doing a pantomime of someone creeping stealthily. They finally make it to Korman's car and lift the hood in order to hotwire it. Getty's handling the hotwiring and Rachel asks if she can help. Yeah, she can. If by "help" you mean, "stand over there and keep an eye out for the guard." Rachel slinks off to the side and Getty attempts to get the hotwiring under way. Too bad he has NO idea what a carburetor is. "Is there any particular reason you're connecting the carburetor to the intake tube?" she snits. "This is the carburetor?" he asks. "Yeah," she says. "Maybe...I should keep an eye out for the guard," he says, relinquishing control of the hotwiring to the more capable Rachel. Heh. Okay, ONE funny moment does not an entertaining or relevant subplot make.
Back at the Prison of the Rose, Dix splices into the network and APO has visual on the prison. They isolate the women's block and find Sydney. Sark, meanwhile, is being carted into the medical wing. Before the doctor on staff can stab him with a sedative, he stops faking his medical condition and slaps her aside. Then he quickly takes out the remaining guards. Oh, I do love to see him punch people. He's skinny, but powerful. He moves over to the computer and starts to hack into the system. APO loses visual on the prison due to his hacking. Vaughn asks if there's any way to get visual again, and Marshall says that they could try accessing the alarm system to get a Van Eck signal. Dix moves into action.
Sark continues hacking and manages to open up Sydney's door. She quickly moves to it and runs out into the hallway. The guards are all conveniently on a coffee break because Syd just walks around like she's in a dormitory or something. She gets to a locked door that doesn't immediately open thanks to the fact that one of Sark's fallen guards has started to wake and kick the shit out of Sark. A couple of guards are off their break, obviously, because they're making their way to Sydney. "Sark, where are you?" whispers Syd. Sark's busy beating the hell out of the guard, so he can't get to the door right now, Sydney. He kicks the guard to the ground and hits the "enter" button, allowing Syd to go through the door right before the guards come upon her.
As Syd escapes down some stairs to a hallway as wet as one of the public bathrooms Dane Cook is always talking about, Sark gets captured by a couple of other guards who just happen to come upon him. Syd walks along in her baggy prison pajamas, searching for something vaguely Rambaldi-esque. She turns a corner and sees a dripping and dank room with walls that are covered with drawings and words. There's a sound behind her and she turns, only to be faced with Creepy Gaunt Not-Rambaldi Man from earlier. He says that he's been waiting for her for a very long time. For as long as 500 years? Really? You're remarkably well-preserved for a 500-year-old man, dude. You know, except for those sunken cheeks and saucers filled with grey matter beneath your eyes.
Syd says, "Rambaldi! Yo! What up, G? Word on the street has it that you got somethin' I'm lookin' for!" Rambaldi is all, "I totally do, chief. Word. You want you some Rose, is what I'm thinkin'." "I do that," says Syd. "I do that." Rambaldi says, "I got me some nice-ass baseball right here, honey. What you need it for?" "Oh, just for my writers, G. They need SOMETHING to get them through these last couple of episodes. God knows the HASH ain't doin' 'em right." "Word," says Rambaldi. "I hear that. Well, float me a hundred and I'll set you up." "What, no Writer's Guild discount?" asks Syd. "Honey, please," says Rambaldi. "The way they're hittin' me up? I should be chargin' them DOUBLE."
Whoa. Sorry. I thought I was on an episode of The Wire. Excuse me.
Syd says, "I think you've mistaken me for someone else." Creepy Gaunt Not-Rambaldi Man says that he can't imagine confusing her for anyone else, seeing as her face is scattered through every last one of Rambaldi's documents. He says that he knows her. She says that they've never met. He says they haven't and that they don't have much time. She needs to come with him. Fearing an abduction scenario, she says she's not going anywhere with him. Oh, come on, Syd! The guy's so old and fragile, you could break him in two! Go with him! She asks him to tell her who he is. He just repeats the hidden message: "The circle will be complete when The Chosen One finds The Rose." He then holds out his arm and on it is a dark tattoo of a rose. "I am The Rose," he says. "Now...if you will come with me..." Syd follows him.
In the warden's office, Sloane is attempting to get Sark and Sydney released into his custody. The warden says he can't release them until they've had their first judicial hearing. Sloane says the warden could release them if he got permission from the general prosecutor. The warden starts to hem and haw about this, but Sloane just says that the prosecutor is expecting his call. The warden picks up the phone and dials and Peyton intercepts the call and pretends to be the prosecutor.
Oh, for god's sake. We're back with the Most Boring and Tedious Subplot OF ALL TIME. I still like the actors, mind you. Don't think I don't. But seriously? I am FALLING ASLEEP HERE. Unless this plotline comes into play during the finale, I'm going to be totally pissed off that I've had to waste any time on it whatsoever. So, whatever, Rachel's still working on the car as Getty tells her that he was supposed to meet his wife the night she died. But he got sidetracked by work. He's not sure why someone would kill his wife outright and it never occurs to him that, perhaps, HE was the target and he just WASN'T THERE AT THE TIME. He thanks Rachel for helping him and she says that this is the closest thing she's had to a night out since she joined the CIA. Hell of a date, huh? She tells him to hop in and give her some gas and the car starts immediately. They peel out.
Back with Syd and Creepy Gaunt Not-Rambaldi Man, they're heading into some room deep within the prison subbasement. It seems to be Rambaldi's old room. On the wall is a sketch of Sydney. She asks who did it and he says that she doesn't need him to tell her. "He told me you'd be coming," says Creepy Gaunt Not-Rambaldi Man. What, 500 years ago? So, he's not Rambaldi, but he's old enough to have KNOWN Rambaldi? Creepy Gaunt Not-Rambaldi Man goes to a wall and removes a brick. Behind it is a small cloth-enclosed package. He tells her that it's Syd's, for the time being. She unwraps it and it's an antique vial on a chain. She asks what it is and he says that it's Rambaldi's greatest gift and also his greatest curse. Because THAT'S not vague in any way, shape or form.
"What you hold in your hand is simply a defiance of the natural order," he explains. "The end of nature itself." What, so Rambaldi wanted to end nature? Seriously, I don't think the creators have ANY idea what Rambaldi's all about and they're just making this shit up as they go along. I fear for the future of Lost. "Some very bad people want what's in this amulet," says Syd. "I can't stop them if you don't tell me what it is." "You don't understand," says Creepy Gaunt Not-Rambaldi Man. "You can't stop them." "You don't know me very well," says Sydney with her famous Blue Steel look upon her face. Of course he does, Syd! He just SAID he KNOWS you! Creepy Gaunt Not-Rambaldi Man says that she's more charming than he could have imagined. "I used to believe as you do," he says. "That there were decisions to be made. But in the end, it's just...fate. It's out of our hands. And now, it's just a matter of time." "A matter of time until what?" Syd asks, growing exasperated with the continued vagueness of her sensei. "Until the stars fall from the sky," he says. "Until the end of light." Syd looks at him in alarm. He tells her that she's gotten what she came for and that the guards will be making rounds soon. She needs to go. And so she does.
Vaughn spies her on his feed and tells Dixon. They watch as Syd runs back to the women's block. Meanwhile, Sark is meeting up with Peyton, his face showing the signs of being beaten up about five days ago instead of five minutes. The guards leave Sark in Peyton's custody, and Sark asks after Anna. Peyton says that Anna won't be joining them and we cut to Syd's cell as she enters. "Were you successful?" Sloane asks from his dark corner. "Tell me, Anna. Did you retrieve The Rose?" "No," lies Sydney. "There was nothing there." "I don't believe you," he says. And then he shocks her with a stun gun. Vaughn watches from his post, utterly helpless. Sloane shocks her again and then searches her pockets, finding the amulet. "Sydney deserved better than an anonymous bullet," he says, standing over her. "You didn't even have the courage to face her." Syd struggles to sit up. "At least I look you in the eye," says Sloane, wrapping his hands around her throat.
Syd struggles against Sloane's hands as Vaughn checks in with Marshall. Marsh tells him that there's a grate to the isolation ward about thirty yards ahead of him. Dixon rightly says that he'll never make it in time and that they have to create a distraction for Sloane. Vaughn runs off to take care of Syd as Jack asks Marshall if they can somehow access the security system through the splice that Dixon's created. Marshall works his magic and manages to set off an alarm in the prison, interrupting Sloane's whack-ass justice kill of Syd. She head-butts him off of her and he falls back. "I don't die that easy," she spits. He looks at her in alarm as she stands up. Before she can kick his ass two ways to Sunday, a guard enters and tells Sloane that they've had a breach and that he'd better exit. Sloane skitters off. Sydney starts to run after him, but the guard intercepts. And then they fight. She floors him quickly, but another guard enters and brings a can of whup-ass with him. He's about to take her down when there's a shot and the guard drops. Vaughn's appeared to save the day! He gathers her up and they get the hell outta Dodge.
Yawn. Another visit to Subplot Tedium. Korman's slicing into his car seat in order to bring up a bag of diamonds. He thanks Getty for bringing him his stash. Getty asks why the hit was ordered on his wife. Korman says that if he tells him, he'll never let him live. Getty gives his word that no harm will come to him. Korman pulls a gun, saying he doesn't believe him. "Go ahead," says Getty. "Shoot me. But first, tell me why she had to die." Korman tells him what we've already suspected: she was in the wrong place at the wrong time. The hit was actually ordered for Getty, but he wasn't there. "She died because I thought she was you," says Korman, getting into his car. He drives off, but doesn't get very far. Getty hits something on his watch and Korman's car explodes.
And now, for one of the cutest scenes ever.
As Donovan's "Catch the Wind" plays over the soundtrack, we check in with Sydney and Vaughn as they lounge on the bed with a sleeping Isabelle between them. Syd has her hand on Isabelle's belly and Vaughn has his finger clutched in Isabelle's hand. Aw. "This is pretty amazing," says Vaughn. "Have you ever seen anything so perfect?" asks Syd. Well, yes. And he's lying right across from you, Syd. Vaughn tells Syd that she did good and they kiss. "You're gonna be just like your mom, aren't you?" says Vaughn to his little girl. "Oh, I hope not," says Syd. "I hope that she's a doctor or a teacher or just anything that does not involve wearing a wig." Hey, Syd, even doctors and teachers wear wigs once in awhile. Don't knock wigs. "I don't know," says Vaughn. "I think she'd look pretty cute in a little pink wig." Isabelle snorts and acts like this is the most distasteful thing her little button ears have ever heard. Heh. And nice move on Garner's part, pinching the baby's foot at just the right moment so she had a reaction to that line. What? I have TiVo. It's meant to be paused.
They both coo over the baby until Syd stretches and rubs her neck, saying that she's still a bit sore from the prison fights. "We came so close, Vaughn," she says. "Sloane and Prophet Five...they're still out there." "Hey," he says. "I thought we agreed. Tonight, it's just us, okay?" She smiles and says yeah, it's just them. Isabelle suddenly snores and Vaughn makes this face like she just sprouted wings and a halo. It's so adorable I can't even begin to describe it. Did I mention the TiVo? Because...sigh. Pause. Rewind. Play. Sigh. "All right," he says, after melting my heart, "the snoring? It kills me." Hee. Babies are cute. But Vaughn is cuter.
Just then, Syd's cell phone rings, and she leaves the Happy Family Bed to get it. It's Sloane. "It was you, Sydney, of course," he says slimily. "How could I have ever thought otherwise? I saw it in you the first time we met. You're a survivor, just like me. And now, thanks to you, I have everything I need."
on Alias: The beginning of the end.